The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
Can you imagine what your life might look like if you felt empowered to leave a relationship that no longer serves your happiness? Join me, Jason Phillips, on the Peace and Prosperity Podcast as we explore the challenging journey of building confidence to move on from relationships that hinder your well-being. We tackle the difficult yet crucial process of recognizing when it's time to leave, especially in situations involving abuse, guilt, or societal pressure. Together, we'll touch on the importance of self-forgiveness for staying too long and emphasize that it's not your burden to fix your partner's shortcomings. This episode offers guidance on reflecting on your true desires in a relationship and identifying the qualities you should seek in a partner to prioritize your happiness.
But that's not all—navigating high-functioning anxiety is also on our agenda. It’s a common experience, and feeling anxious at times is perfectly normal. I'll share practical strategies to manage anxiety on your own and stress the importance of seeking professional help when needed. This episode is your invitation to focus on self-care and mental health, with actionable insights to support you through life's challenges. Whether you're contemplating a significant life change or seeking ways to manage anxiety, this episode is all about equipping you with the tools to enhance your personal peace and prosperity. Remember to support our growing community by liking, sharing, and subscribing, and don’t hesitate to reach out with feedback or suggestions for future topics!
Plus, remember to join our podcast community—like, share, subscribe, and let us know what topics you want us to cover next. Engage with us, send a DM, or leave a review. Let's continue this journey towards peace and prosperity together.
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jphillipsmsw/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jphillipsmsw
Visit Jason's website for a consultation:
Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com
To book Jason to speak to your team or organization:
https://peaceprosperitycoaching.hbportal.co/public/660d8068c9d2d600253b215b/1-Inquiry
Episode Transcript
All right, y'all, welcome back to another episode
of the Peace and ProsperityPodcast.
I'm your host, Jason Phillips,licensed therapist, confidence
expert, and today we're divinginto the conversation around how
do you build up the confidenceto leave a relationship, and
this is one that could be really, really tricky, particularly if
(00:26):
you've been in thisrelationship for a while.
This is your first love.
This is the person you thoughtwas going to be the one, but now
there's some indicators thatare telling you he or she is not
the one.
But you don't know how to playit out.
You know this is not what youwant for yourself, but then you
(00:47):
keep telling yourself maybethey'll change, maybe things
will get better in the future,maybe if I just do this or if I
just say that, they'll start toshow up differently.
But then these maybes just keepbecoming more maybes and more
maybes and it never happens.
You never get any concretechange.
So some of the signs that youneed to leave is one if there's
(01:10):
abuse so physical abuse,emotional abuse, verbal abuse
you definitely want to get somehelp and get more counsel if you
need to truly get out of thisrelationship and do it fast,
because safety is always goingto be first.
Another sign that you need toleave is if this person or if
you're only staying in arelationship because you don't
(01:31):
want to like break up a happyhome or you don't want the
perception that you failed inyour marriage or you failed with
this relationship with yourpartner.
You're staying in therelationship essentially out of
pressure, whether it's external,internal, but you know it's not
the relationship for you.
So how do you do it?
(01:52):
You're like, okay, jason,you're telling me this is where
I'm at, but how do I build upthe confidence to leave?
First thing I want you to do islet go of the guilt.
See, leaving it takes you havingto communicate with your
partner, with your spouse, thatthe relationship is coming to an
end, but there may be someinternal guilt that you feel
(02:15):
that's preventing you fromhaving that conversation.
You don't want the blowback,you don't want the perception
that you failed, but I want youto let go of all of that guilt.
Now that takes work.
So this may be talking to yourtherapist, writing in your
journal, really getting intosome, some, some healing, some
spiritual healing that you haveto do, but I want you to release
(02:38):
the guilt that comes fromleaving this relationship.
That's the first and foremosthey Peace and Prosperity family.
I want to take a moment to talkabout something vital for all
organizations employee wellness.
Here's what some of the pastorganizations have shared about
their experiences.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
So far, I've learned that my mental health has a huge
impact as a leader on my team'shealth, but also to be looking
out for signs that I've alreadybeen seeing and learning tips on
how I can take those back tohelp myself as well as my team.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
So I really appreciate Jason because he
really put a lot of stuff inperspective for me.
I don't get a lot of days offyou know what I'm saying so when
I do take one off, I feelreally, really guilty.
It's like, oh my gosh, I got somuch to do, but knowing that
like, hey, it's okay, take abreak, be yourself and then come
back to this and you'll bebetter, it's just it's nice to
(03:32):
keep hearing that, so that'sgood.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
But it was good to reevaluate and see that you know
everyone has burnout thingslike that and also just learning
how to deal with it moreeffectively.
Be yourself, love yourself, andother people are going to love
you too.
Like regardless.
And workplace is not justworkplace, this is family.
He was a great speaker.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Yeah, probably one of the best ones that I've seen so
far.
If you're interested ininvesting in your team's mental
health, visit jasonlphillipscomor visit the link below, and
let's talk about creating athriving work environment for
your organization.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Now back to the episode.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
The second thing I want you to do is you have to
forgive yourself.
See, a lot of times when weleave a relationship or when we
know it's time to leave, we cansee ourselves making the
decision, but then we're likewhat?
But if I only, or if they onlydo this, or if they can change
that, and then we start to feelbad and beat ourself up.
(04:31):
What did I do wrong?
How did I let this happen?
I don't want this to be me ormy life.
I don't want to quote unquotedie alone.
That does not have to be yourfuture.
But in order to execute andmake this decision, I want you
to forgive yourself for stayingtoo long.
If you knew the relationshipshould have ended a while ago,
but also take some of thatpressure off that you caused
(04:55):
this problem.
Did you cause your partner tocheat?
Did you cause your partner tospend all the money?
Did you cause your partner tocall you out your name?
Did you call your partner toneglect you?
Did you cause your partner tostop working?
Did you cause your partner tonot show up for you and respect
the family and the values?
(05:16):
You didn't cause your partnerto do any of these things.
But what happens is we takemore responsibility for someone
else's action and think thatit's all our fault.
It's like it's all inclusive.
All of this is something that Icould have controlled.
One.
You don't have that muchcontrol I wish you did, but you
(05:37):
don't and forgive yourself forthinking that you did in the
first place.
The third thing I want you todo is truly lean in and ask
yourself what do you want foryou?
And this is where the claritystarts to come in.
What is the relationship that Iwant?
When I'm working with couplesor individuals, I ask them to
(05:57):
write down the trace that theywant for their partner.
So what happens when they whenit is time, to date or when they
are in a healthy space?
These are the people that theystart to attract Somebody who's
loving, who's caring, who lovesGod, who's health conscious.
But you have to be clear onthat first, and let me throw in
a bonus tip Let other people in.
(06:18):
Don't isolate yourself andthink that you're going to be
able to work through this onyour own.
That's how you stay stuck in arelationship for so long in the
first place.
Be vulnerable, share your story, be authentic, take feedback.
Don't take it personally whenthey tell you hey sis, hey bro,
she for the streets Like to hearthat about someone that you
(06:39):
love.
Yes, it's going to be hurtful,but it's also going to be honest
.
Let these people in.
So let's recap One if you'retrying to get out of a
relationship and you feel reallystuck, you have to let go of
the guilt.
Second thing, I want you toreally, really truly do the work
and forgive yourself.
Lastly, identify who you want,what you want this person to
(07:04):
look like, what the principlesand the values you want them to
embody.
And that bonus let other peoplein.
Don't try to go through thisall on your own, because if you
do, you'll likely find yourselfstaying in the same unhealthy
situation.
All right, y'all, we had tohave this conversation.
I think sometimes we shy awayfrom it, but know that you got
(07:27):
this and be blessed Peace.
Thank you all for listening toanother episode of the Peace and
Prosperity Podcast.
Again, if you are feeling like,hey, I'm experiencing high
functioning anxiety, don't beatyourself up about it.
It is OK.
We all experience anxiety fromtime to time and I gave you a
(07:52):
couple of things that you can doon your own, but don't hesitate
to reach out to a professionalto better manage what you're
going through.
Ok, and lastly, make sure, ifyou have not like, share,
subscribe to the podcast andsend this out to a friend, and
if you want to hear certainepisodes or have certain
(08:14):
conversations, let me know.
You can shoot me a DM or justleave a review and I will
definitely follow up.
All right, y'all be blessed,peace.
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