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July 8, 2025 14 mins

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The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally. 

Feeling stuck or doubting yourself? What if it’s not your confidence but your clarity holding you back?

In this episode, Jason breaks down why high achievers stay stuck despite their skills. You might be excelling at work but still struggling personally because you lack a clear blueprint.

Clarity builds confidence. When you know what you want and why, creating a winning strategy becomes easier. Jason shares practical ways to get clear on your goals, stop tolerating what drains you, and move forward with conviction.

If you’re tired of feeling lost, this episode will show you what’s really in your way – and how to fix it.

To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
 
 Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jphillipsmsw/
 
 Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jphillipsmsw
 
 Visit Jason's website for a consultation:
 
 Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com
 
 To book Jason to speak to your team or organization:
 
 https://peaceprosperitycoaching.hbportal.co/public/660d8068c9d2d600253b215b/1-Inquiry

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Think about if you're getting into any type of
competition.
When you know what theguidelines are for that
competition, you're clear onwhat you need to do.
So once you're really clear onwhat it takes, what the
guidelines are, what thestandards, all of those things,
then you start game planning sothat you can crush it and win
the competition.
In essence, you build yourconfidence that way.

(00:22):
Welcome to another episode ofthe Peace and Prosperity Podcast
.
I'm your host, jason Phillips,licensed therapist, confidence
expert.
We're going to unpack thedifference between confidence
and clarity.
So what if I told you that yourconfidence is not broken, but

(00:44):
your clarity is?
Yeah, I'm talking to youbecause you're sitting here
doubting yourself, thinking thatyou're the problem.
You're not sure about who youare and you're starting to beat
yourself up internally, but inessence, you are confident.
You have the skill set.
Essence, you are confident.

(01:06):
You have the skill set.
There are no limiting beliefs,at least in this area of your
life.
But what you're lacking isclarity.
I've seen this before inclients that I've worked with.
They'll come to me thinkingthat hey, I'm stuck, I'm not
sure about this, or I'm dealingwith imposter syndrome.
I'm doubting myself when westart to unpack what's really
going on with them.
They do have confidence,they're great in a lot of areas

(01:29):
in their lives, but they lackthe clarity and, because of the
clarity, or lacking it, it'scausing them to be confused.
I've been there before youprobably have been there before.
You may be here now which iswhy you're tapping into this
episode and I'll tell you thatin different points of my life,
when I lacked clarity, I feltconfused and it led me to think

(01:51):
that maybe I'm not confidentabout the next step, when in
reality, I needed more clarityon that blueprint of what that
next step should look like.
So like, for instance, when Iwas going to grad school the
first time a lot of differentoptions, you know, should I go
to this school, should I go tothat school?
Should I study this fieldPsychology, social work, a mix,

(02:12):
mental health, all of thesedecisions and they were great
decisions, but at the time whenI wasn't sure about what was
best for me, that caused me todoubt OK, what if?
You know, what if I do this andit goes wrong?
There are all these differentstatements and questions that
I'm having when, in essence, itboiled down to me needing to get
even more clear on what mygoals are.

(02:34):
Same thing when I was in mycareer about, I would say, four
years in I started thinkingabout going back to school and
I'm like do I really want to goback to school?
Do I want to be a researcher?
Do I want to get into academia?
All of these questions, whichagain led me to not being clear.
So it can seem like you lacksomething such as confidence,

(02:58):
the sureness in your decision,but that's because the clarity
is missing.
So let's kind of break thatdown, the difference between
confidence and clarity.
When you're confident, you'regoing to be sure of yourself.
And there's the difference Iwas talking to or not talking to
.
But I had an interaction withDr Reese, who's a great coach as

(03:18):
well, and she talked about thedifference between
self-confidence and craftconfidence.
Sometimes, when you have craftconfidence, you know you're
killing it in that area, thatskill set, this specific field.
But then the self-confidencethat lets you just be, you
Meaning, when you get up, you'regoing to wear what you want to
wear.
When you have in yourrelationship, you're going to

(03:40):
say what needs to be said.
See, that has nothing to dowith your skill set.
That's all about you beingcomfortable.
Sometimes we lack that, we'llbe confident in this area.
You know, we know we can crushit at work.
But then on our personal livesyou're like, oh, maybe not so
much.
So that's the confidence piecewe want to be able to master,

(04:03):
both the skill confidence andthe craft confidence, or the
self-confidence and the craftconfidence.
But then what about clarity?
That's when you know what thenext step is.
I think about clarity as havinga blueprint.
You know your roadmap for yourlife and when you follow that
roadmap, everything seems to beclicking.

(04:23):
For me I use myself as anexample.
When I was going to school, Iknew after school I wanted to
work in the federal system forfive to 10 years, then I want to
go into private practice, thenI wanted to do a whole host of
things.
But that clarity was reallyalready there from the time I
wrote my personal statement.
Fast forward to 15 years later.

(04:44):
Now, when we don't have thatblueprint, that roadmap and it
doesn't have to be like crystalclear, doesn't have to be like
crystal clear Then we start tosecond guess Am I doing the
right thing?
Do I know what I'm talkingabout?
What's going on with my life?
I'm feeling stuck.
That's when the self-doubtkicks in because you're not sure
about what you're doing and youstart to confuse yourself, even

(05:05):
on the difference between youbeing confident and then you
essentially lacking clarity.
Another sign that you areconfusing the two, or you're not
sure about what's next, willconfuse overthinking with
planning.
So we've been thinking aboutthis for a long time in our head
.
When it comes to putting thingsout on pen and paper, not so

(05:28):
good, we can talk about it awhole lot.
When it comes to taking actionsteps, oh, we're feeling a
little iffy, we're stuck.
When that happens again Now wefeel like we're just spinning
our wheels, not because we'renot taking steps or making
progress, but because theprogress is not tangible.
You're talking about it butyou're not following through.

(05:51):
You're talking about it butyou're not following through.
And then it leads you to nottrust yourself because you can
quote, unquote, talk a good game, but where's the proof behind

(06:18):
it?
Y'all may have heard that,being less sure about what's
next.
When you are clear, when youknow that this is what I'm doing
now, you can say it with someassertiveness, with some
security.
You know, you can be passionateabout it because you're
following what is for you.
When you become that clear.
Now the confidence, it justcomes right along.
Think about if you're gettinginto any type of competition

(06:38):
when you know what theguidelines are for that
competition, you're clear onwhat you need to do.
So once you're really clear onwhat it takes, what the
guidelines are, what thestandards, all of those things,
then you start game planning sothat you can crush it and win
the competition.
In essence, you build yourconfidence that way, so you're
not going to feel stuck when youknow what to do, how to do it.

(07:01):
You kind of have that roadmap Ato Z, and then you're taking
actions.
The clarity builds theconfidence.
Now let's get into some of thesigns that you are lacking
clarity.
Number one you're secondguessing everything.
You are not making surestatements.
You may be saying things likeoh, I'm going to try this out,

(07:24):
I'm going to see if this works.
When it comes to setting See,like, what do you mean, jason?
So when you set that goal,let's say you're going to work
out how much, how often.
Well, I'm probably going to thegym about I don't know three or
four times a week.

(07:45):
Then I bump it up to four orfive.
That's a big difference betweenthree and five.
So let's leave out that wiggleroom and just land on four.
When you say I'm going to try tomeet all of my goals this week
or I'm going to try to eat cleanthis week, um, why are we just
trying?
Why are we not doing more?

(08:06):
What's up with that?
Sometimes we give ourselvesthat out by saying we're going
to try to do something when, inessence, we need to make the
decision and push for thatdecision that we're making.
Right Again, you're going to besuper clear, you're going to be
assertive, and then you'regoing to be confident enough to
follow through all the other.

(08:27):
I'm going to try, I'm going tosee what's up.
We'll make something happen.
When you give yourself that out, you're already telling
yourself, you're doubtingyourself and you don't believe
you.
Nobody else is going to believeyou.
The last sign that you strugglewith clarity is it's hard for
you to articulate your vision.
Now, this is something that Isee a lot when I'm working with

(08:49):
high achievers.
I'll ask them something abouttheir goals and they start to be
very unclear, maybe fumblearound the words.
Very unclear, maybe fumblearound the words.
It's not like coming straightout.
For instance, when you asksomebody to talk about who they
are.
Sometimes people can reallyfumble, that they'll stumble.

(09:14):
Or when they do talk aboutthemselves, it's really really
quick and I even had to learnthis about myself.
I'm listening to other peoplemaybe introduce themselves,
whether we're in the classroomor on a stage, and I'm short and
sweet, to the point, andsomebody else is breaking things
down more elaborate.
I'm like, oh okay, I've seenthe gap there and it let me know
.
Let me be super clear about whoI am.
Let me show up with confidenceand let me not leave anything

(09:37):
out.
Doesn't mean that I have to besuper cocky or grandiose about
myself, no, but what I am goingto be is clear that I'm Jason
Phillips.
I'm a licensed therapist,confidence expert, college
professor, 15 years experiencein the field.
I've worked with veterans,communities, high achievers.
I've worked with big Fortune500 organizations.

(10:00):
I've been named XYZ.
I've been in these.
Again, I don't have to alwayselaborate to that degree, but my
point is now it's clear aboutwho I am and what I'm bringing
to the table.
It's not just like oh, I'm Jason, go to the next person.
Same thing comes for our goalsand our vision.
When you're not sure aboutwhere you're going, that's a

(10:22):
sign that you lack clarity.
Oh, I want to be successful.
What does success look like foryou?
Does that mean that you havemore time with your family and
you can take vacations at yourleisure?
Does that mean that you'vegrown your bank account to a
certain number?
Does that mean that you reachthis level of peace in your home
and in your heart?

(10:42):
Be clear about it.
Some of us aren't driven bycertain things, and that's okay.
But just know what is it thatfeeds you, what's gonna push you
to that next level?
And when you get that type ofclarity, be confident and sure
about it.
Don't wax and wane, don't letyour head go low when you say it

(11:03):
.
Say it with your chest and beproud.
Hey, to be super clear, that initself is something that a lot
of us strive for and you want tobe proud of when you can get to
that level.
So now, when you're thinkingabout how do you regain that
clarity, because I don't want tojust tell you the difference

(11:24):
between confidence and clarity,the signs that you're lacking
clarity, and then not give yousome things to do about it.
First question I want to askyou is what do you want for
yourself right now, in thismoment?
And I would challenge you notto just say it out loud, but
write it down so that when yousee it, it's crystal clear.

(11:46):
And if you need to makeadjustments, that's fine too.
But you can refine the visionthat you have and even make it
even more detailed.
Next, what are you toleratingthat is draining you?
What are you allowing to happenin your life?
And you know that you're nothappy with this thing?

(12:06):
It could be a person, it couldbe a relationship, it could be
an event, something that'shappening in your life, but it's
taken away from who you are andwhere you want your life to go.
I will challenge you to writethat down too.
And then, what are the stepsthat you need to do something
about it?
It's not enough just to say, ohyeah, I'm struggling with this

(12:28):
or I don't like that.
What are you going to do aboutit?
Lastly, if you had theconfidence and clarity that you
desire, what decision would youmake?
What would be different?
Spend some time on that one.
I don't want you just hurryingup and telling somebody or
telling yourself what you thinkyou want to hear.

(12:49):
Be honest with those statements.
Y'all.
You have what it takes rightnow the doubting yourself, the
feeling stuck, the overthinking,the not being clear about who
you are and where you want to gois stopping now.
If you want to take some action, I've given you some things to

(13:11):
think about and also toimplement so that you no longer
are feeling like you don't havewhat you need and you're just
stuck in a place of sorrow andyou're drowning.
All right, y'all, as always, beblessed Peace.

(13:31):
Thank you all for listening toanother episode of the Peace and
Prosperity Podcast.
Again, if you are feeling like,hey, I'm experiencing high
functioning anxiety, don't beatyourself up about it.
It is OK.
We all experience anxiety fromtime to time and I gave you a
couple of things that you can doon your own, but don't hesitate

(13:54):
to reach out to a professionalto better manage what you're
going through.
Ok, and lastly, make sure ifyou have not like share,
subscribe to the podcast andsend this out to a friend.
And if you want to hear certainepisodes or have certain
conversations, let me know.
You can shoot me a DM or justleave a review and I will

(14:18):
definitely follow up.
All right, y'all.
Be blessed Peace.
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