December 31, 2024 • 22 mins
The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.
Unlock inner peace and prosperity with Jason as he guides you through overcoming obstacles like fear of failure and unrealistic expectations while crafting a clear vision for personal and professional growth. Jason offers practical strategies for managing high-functioning anxiety, setting specific goals, and cultivating a supportive network to thrive under pressure.
What You'll Learn:
- How to Set Clear Goals
- Overcoming Fear of Failure
- Strategies for Long-Term Success
- Managing High-Functioning Anxiety
- Building a Supportive Network
- Creative Problem-Solving
This is just a SNIPPET of what we covered during this episode!!!
To stay connected with Jason and learn about coaching, connect with Jason on social media:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jphillipsmsw/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/jphillipsmsw
Visit Jason's website for a consultation:
Website -https://www.jasonlphillips.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If I know, I want to achieve a goal of, let's say,
you know, getting married andhaving kids, right, so I'm a new
dad and proud to be a new dad,but that was a journey.
So I've been married 10 years,but a father less than one.
If I was only thinking in theshort term, like it had to
happen now, then I would havegiven up on that goal a long
(00:21):
time ago.
All right, all right.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Peace and Prosperity Podcast
.
I'm your host, jason Phillips,licensed therapist, confidence
expert, and today we are talkingabout the importance of having
vision.
This is one of those topicswhere we have to revisit,
(00:43):
because the language aroundvision changes and we learn more
about ourselves and how toapply these different concepts
so that we can have vision forourselves.
Now, before we talk about, like, how to acquire vision and what
it looks like, let's talk aboutsome of the things that get in
the way of you really having thevision that you want for
(01:06):
yourself.
The first thing that gets inthe way is lack of clarity or
lack of focus, but then theybounce around to something else
and something else and somethingelse, and they continuously
(01:26):
start over.
Or their vision or their goalis so broad that they can't ever
narrow it down.
So if I'm talking to you, youmay be thinking like dang Jason.
That's kind of where I've beenat Right.
I know I want something, but Idon't know exactly what it is.
And that lack of specificity Ikilled it right there.
Right, I know I want something,but I don't know exactly what
(01:47):
it is.
And that lack of specificity oh, I killed it right there.
Right.
But that lack of specificity itreally does get in the way of
you being able to acquire andachieve the goal that you want.
For instance, let's say youwant to make a certain amount of
money or you want to besuccessful financially.
Let's just use numbers, but youdon't know what that number is.
(02:07):
You don't know truly what thatnumber looks like.
So it's going to be hard foryou to have that vision, to make
it plain, because you'reconfused or you're not sure
about exactly where you want togo.
Or you may be in your careeryou've been in a career for a
while but it's like you knowwhat you want more, but you're
(02:28):
not exactly sure what more lookslike.
You're not clear on where youwant to go.
So this means an opportunitycould be right in front of you,
but you're not sure what youwant, so you can't take it, you
can't seize the opportunity.
The clearer that you get, theeasier it's going to be for you
to attain vision and really havea clear path for you.
(02:53):
Let's also say the second thingis going to be when you are just
a little bit too, maybe toooverzealous, like you know what
you want, but you you're notrealistic.
Yeah, let's say that you'reunrealistic about what it's
going to take to achieve thisgoal or to play out this vision.
So then, what this looks likeis you become scatterbrained, or
(03:16):
you may become frustrated withyourself because of the lack of
progress getting in the way ofyou being able to execute,
progress getting in the way ofyou being able to execute
Because, again, you know, youhave a concept of it.
Like, we've heard that term, Ihave a concept of what I want,
but you don't know exactly whatit is, or you're just
unrealistic about the work thatit's going to take to achieve
(03:38):
what you want.
Now, let's say we talked aboutlack of clarity.
We also talked about being alittle bit too overzealous
Another thing that can get inthe way, truly, of you having
vision or being able to play itout is the fear of failure.
Now, this is the thing withfailure does come risk, or with
(04:00):
success comes risk.
But if you're so scared thatyou don't actually take the step
, the first step, then you willstay stuck.
Now this looks like playing itsafe.
Think about the area in yourlife where you know like, yes, I
need more here, I want more inthis area, I actually deserve
more in this area of my life.
(04:21):
And you got the vision, butwhat you don't have is the
confidence to go after it,because you tried to go after it
before and it didn't work.
So now you deem that as afailure and now you can't try it
again.
It hurt too bad, but you knowwhat that is truly a part of
life.
Turn that failure or that loss,or however you want to frame it,
(04:45):
turn it into a lesson.
What mistakes did you make?
Or maybe it just wasn't yourtiming?
But when you are so afraid toput yourself out there to
actually get what you want,you're going to find yourself
really lacking clear vision andbeing able to have that inner
peace and prosperity for you.
(05:05):
So, like I'm you know if youhaven't listened to the podcast.
I'm married, been marriedalmost 10 years now.
So in order for me to date mywife and propose to her and get
married all of that there had tobe a risk, because she could
have said no.
Would that have stopped me?
Probably so no, I'm joking Likeit wouldn't have stopped me,
(05:25):
but I would figure out.
What do I need to do to get herattention?
How can I find out if we'recompatible or not?
How can I step my game up?
Not just taking the man is notgoing to work out or start
beating myself up because itdidn't go how I wanted the first
time around.
That is what you call beingafraid of taking that huge risk.
(05:48):
So don't let fear of failurestop you from being great in the
specific area of your life,especially if you know that you
want more and you deserve morein that area, even when it comes
to your you know, not just yourpersonal romantic life, but
when it comes to your career.
Don't be afraid to put yourselfout there and be rejected.
(06:08):
Maybe you're not as good as youthink you are.
Maybe you need to step up yourcredentials.
Maybe you've been rushing it incertain areas or aspects and
really you need to redefine yourskill set or figure out a
better way to position yourself.
All of these things just meanyou need either more data or
(06:29):
maybe you need to try harder.
You need more skills, moreeducation, more credentials,
whatever it means.
But it does not mean that,because you didn't get what you
thought you deserved or youfailed in one area, that you
just give up.
When you do that, that's howyou just lose your vision
altogether.
You don't even try.
Another thing that will get inthe way of you having great
(06:53):
vision is you will have what wecall short-term thinking.
You're only thinking abouttomorrow, or you're only
thinking about the next day Likeit's very well, it's the same
thing, right, but you're onlythinking about the next day Like
it's very well, it's the samething, right, but you only
thinking like this far ahead,you're not thinking long-term.
So, for instance, if I know Iwant to achieve a goal of, let's
(07:14):
say, you know, getting marriedand having kids, right, so I'm a
new dad and proud to be a newdad, but that was a journey, so
I've been married 10 years, buta father less than one.
If I was only thinking in theshort term, like it had to
happen now, then I would havegiven up on that goal a long
time ago.
But I was thinking the future.
(07:35):
I was thinking I'm in this forthe long haul and I'm going to
do, or we're going to do,whatever it takes to achieve
what we want in that area.
That's where the faith comesinto play, but also that's when
you put in the work and yourbehaviors make a big difference
too.
Sometimes we only get stuck inthe right now phase, like if I
(07:55):
don't have it right now, thenmaybe it's not in my vision or
my vision board is off.
That is definitely what we calla black and white thinking.
Or again, it's just short termthinking.
We got to start thinking longterm.
Down the field For you, you arethe quarterback of your life
and sometimes, if you watchfootball, sometimes they are
(08:16):
running it two yards, threeyards, five yards, and then
they'll throw that thing up outthere for like a 50 or 60 yard
game.
But the quarterback sees likeI'm trying to get down the field
, despite how long it takes, ordespite if I'm passing, running
whatever play is being called,think about your life.
You may have to call differentplays depending on what players
(08:40):
you have to work with or whatthe circumstances are.
You're going to call adifferent play if you're feeling
real up in this area in yourlife, or you're going to, you
know, run this different play ifyou know.
Hey, I'm struggling right here,so let me go back to the
drawing board, but I'm not goingto quit and I'm not going to
think that just because I'm notmoving the ball down the field
(09:00):
right now that I'm not going toget a touchdown.
Sometimes we get so caught upon just trying to throw up a
Hail Mary, right, you just throwup a wing and a prayer that you
can't even be strategic aboutwhat you need to do for you.
Be the quarterback, be patientand execute, and if you notice
this one thing aboutquarterbacks they're making
(09:22):
split second decisions, butthey're being calm all at the
same time.
All right y'all.
One more thing that gets in theway of us being able to have
clear vision and I would saythis is probably one of the
bigger things too is we lacksupport and resources.
What do I mean by that?
(09:42):
That means that the people youhave around you or the areas
that you spend the most time inthey're not conducive to what
your vision looks like.
They don't see you gettingwhere you want to go.
So their behaviors, thelanguage, how they interact with
you, it keeps you right whereyou are, and you, you're a part
(10:04):
of that too, right?
So don't think you can justpoint the finger and blame this
person, blame your partner,blame your coworkers, blame your
boss.
No, you're a part of thatcircle as well.
But look at your circle, lookat your support system, look at
your resources.
Am I using them to the best ofmy ability?
Are these the people that aregoing to help me get down the
(10:26):
field, or do I need to getdifferent resources?
Do I need to tap in to otherthings that I know I have access
to, or I need to learn moreabout?
These are the things that aregoing to help you reach that
long-term success.
And I'm telling y'all I thinkvision is something that we
underestimate, we don't giveenough credit to, because we
(10:48):
think certain things are justsupposed to happen.
Right, it's not going to takework.
I was talking to somebody acouple of weeks ago and I talked
to them about like you know,I'm in school right now and
they're in school and I saidlisten, we know it's end of
semester, we got papers due, wehave reports due, we have exams
all of that you have to lock in.
You have to tell yourself, no,I can't do X, y or Z until I
(11:11):
have this done.
And they're like, really, youhave to be that strict with
yourself.
I'm like, yes, again, I'm mybiggest support to me.
But then also the people aroundme, they know, like my wife
knows, if I have an exam due orsomething she knows like, hey,
go ahead, knock it out.
We're not, don't think abouttrying to take me out or do
extra chores.
(11:31):
Get what you need to get done.
That is support, and you needpeople in your life that are
going to be again conducive andhelpful for you getting where
you need to go.
Is stress and burnout taking atoll on your company's
productivity and morale?
Are you looking for ways toimprove your employees' mental
(11:55):
health and wellness?
If so, it's time to invest inmental health support for your
workplace.
As a mental health expert andspeaker, I provide solutions for
creating a happier, healthierand more productive workplace.
This includes a range ofservices to help your employees
(12:15):
cope with stress, anxiety andother mental health challenges.
I facilitate workshops andpresentations designed
specifically to help youremployees develop resiliency,
manage stress and reduce burnout.
So, while wait, make mentalhealth and wellness a priority
in your workplace today andcontact us so we can support you
(12:38):
all.
All right, let's get back to theepisode.
So, now that we talked aboutsome of the things that get in
the way of us having vision,what are some of the things that
we need to help us with thevision?
I talked about support and youbeing the biggest support.
Also, you have to valueyourself, meaning don't look for
(13:02):
other people to give you thatvalidation, to be your
cheerleader.
You have to value you, affirmyourself.
Y'all can't see behind me.
I don't think.
Yeah, but there's any type oftrophy that I've won
certificates that I've achievedmy degrees.
I keep them.
So, as a reminder, like I knowI've put in a lot of work, and
(13:23):
it's not to brag or be cocky.
I know I've put in a lot ofwork and it's not to brag or be
cocky, but it's to let me knowlike I'm still valuing me and
I'm going to validate.
I'm going to validate me beforeI look at to you to validate me
.
So let's get into like, whyvision is so important, one we
talked about when you don't havevision or when you don't have
clarity or focus, it throws youoff.
(13:44):
But when you do have vision, itclarifies your purpose.
So the vision that I have formy family was always to have
longevity, have security, havelove, and because I wanted those
things that made me go thatmuch harder we were having a
disagreement, having a fight.
(14:05):
I knew this is temporary, thisis not long-term, it's not
permanent.
If I knew we were struggling ina certain area, okay, let's
figure it out.
But because I had the visionfor us, the long-term vision, it
made my purpose just be definedthat much more.
I'm not about to give up justbecause we're having a rough
(14:26):
time or we disagree aboutsomething.
Sometimes we let small thingsget us way off track and we're
like well, how did you even getthere?
Oh, you forgot about yourpurpose.
You forgot that there arethings that are bigger than you
or things that you havecommitted to that keep you
grounded, even when you don'tfeel like it.
(14:46):
Another reason why vision is soimportant it does keep you
motivated too.
We don't do anything withoutpurpose, values, but also being
motivated, even the bad things,the things that we're not proud
of, the things that we're like.
Man, why do I keep doing thatwhen I'm working with somebody
(15:07):
to change their behavior, Ialways look at what is the, what
is the outcome that you'regetting, what is the reward?
Before I'm not judging youbefore we look at like why do
you do that?
What is the outcome like, whatis driving you in that area?
So having the vision keeps youintrinsically motivated.
(15:31):
Sometimes when I'm working out,I don't feel like working out.
If I'm being straight up,honest with you.
There are times, especially now, with like juggling work,
school, life stuff, fatherhood,all of that.
I'm like I got to work out too.
But I know, because I knowwhere I want to be and how I
want myself to look and feel.
I know because I know where Iwant to be and how I want myself
to look and feel.
It keeps me motivated, evenwhen I'm like don't feel like it
, that that vision is there.
(15:51):
I know when I, when I eathealthy, when I follow my
workout regimen, I know what Ilook like.
I know what I feel like.
The vision is there.
So it keeps me going, even whenI don't feel like it.
I tell my swim coach all thetime I don't I don't feel like
it.
I tell my swim coach all thetime I don't desire to do it,
(16:12):
but when I get into it it's like, okay, cool, I'm so happy
afterwards.
But that's when you have vision.
I can see the outcome before iteven gets there.
I hope that makes sense.
Being in school right now, I'mlike man.
I'm finishing up my second year.
It's flying by Soon.
You know writing and get readyto graduate.
I saw that even when I firstenrolled in the first class.
That's what happens when youhave the purpose, when you have
(16:35):
the motivation.
It helps make everything likecrystal clear for you.
When you have vision, it alsoaligns the goals that you have
with the actions that you'retaking.
So now everything makes sense.
It's still all strategic.
So I'm thinking long term.
I'm not thinking just like inthe here and now phase, which,
(16:56):
again, sometimes we get caughtup doing that, we get stuck just
like how we feel right now,today, and life is not about
that.
It's not all about instantgratification right now, today,
and life is not about that.
It's not all about instantgratification.
If you look at study, delay,gratification, y'all the biggest
and best things that we canaccomplish, they don't happen
overnight.
It takes some time and this isno knock to you if you've had
(17:19):
something just kind of given toyou or you lucked up on
something, but think about thethings that really took work and
effort.
You value it much more, thatrelationship that you, you've
worked through the hard times.
You value it much more thedegree, the business, the
relationships with your familymembers.
(17:39):
You value that much more thansomething that you can just like
, buy or just kind of it comesat you without any work being
involved, buy or just kind of itcomes at you without any work
being involved.
Y'all vision for yourself,vision for your life.
When you put it all together,you can really sit back like
dang.
I've been working super hardbut I'm so proud of it because
(17:59):
now I see the fruits of my labor.
Last thing I want to say aboutvision and why it's so, so
important Having the vision.
It pushes you and forces you tobe creative, because sometimes
you might be doing something andyou're like man, I'm feeling
stuck.
But when you know, okay, thisis just a temporary moment, you
(18:19):
got to get creative and figurethis out, like now, you go into
your toolbox how do I workthrough this problem?
How do I get over this issue?
Who do I call to ask forsupport.
It pushes you out of yourcomfort zone because, again, you
know what the long term goal isand what that long term success
looks like for you.
(18:47):
Of vision boards If you have notcreated a vision board, I would
just encourage you to do so,because it's going to bring out
that creativity.
It's going to force you to bespecific on what you want.
Vague terms are cool, you know,kind of like all right, I want
happiness, I want faith, I wantmore prayer, but then how many
times do you want to pray?
What are you praying for?
How can you get a little bitmore dialed in on what you want
(19:09):
for you?
When you do that, it makes thevision just come to life.
I'll share some things that Iput on my vision board.
They really started to comeinto fruition and I wasn't even
thinking about that the car thatI drive.
I did a vision board a coupleyears ago and I was just like
picking out different cars.
It's not like I was thinkinglike, oh, this is my car.
(19:30):
But then, lo and behold, I gotthat car and it looks exactly
like you did in the vision board.
Other things where I wanted totravel, that was on the vision
board, not me thinking like, oh,I want to travel to you know
this state or this city or thiscountry, but it was just I was
really putting it on the visionboard.
But then it came, it happened,it came to fruition.
(19:51):
I was like, wow, this reallyworks.
Not saying I didn't believe init before.
I've been doing vision boards,for I think my first one for
sure was like right out of gradschool, but each time it gets
more and more specific.
So I've seen the value ofhaving vision boards, having
vision period.
But then I also know what getsin the way when you're around
(20:14):
people who don't believe in you,when you're not affirming
yourself.
All of these become roadblocksand stop you from living and
enjoying your life If you don'ttake anything away from this
episode.
One, have the right peoplearound you.
Two, make sure you have clarityon what you want.
And then three, don't be afraidto fail.
(20:36):
Failure is not that it's a partof life in aspects, but really
you're learning from everysingle failure and every loss.
Don't let it get in the way ofyour vision.
If you really want it like, ifyou for real really want it,
work at it.
Get creative, get disciplined,get consistent, but do not, by
all means, do not, give up.
(20:58):
Don't give up on your vision,y'all.
All right, be blessed Peace.
Be blessed Peace.
Thank you all for listening toanother episode of the Peace and
Prosperity podcast.
Again, if you are feeling like,hey, I'm experiencing high
functioning anxiety, don't beatyourself up about it.
(21:18):
It is OK.
We all experience anxiety fromtime to time and I gave you a
couple of things that you can doon your own, but don't hesitate
to reach out to a professionalto better manage what you're
going through.
Okay, and lastly, make sure, ifyou have not like share,
(21:39):
subscribe to the podcast andsend this out to a friend, and
if you want to hear certainepisodes or have certain
conversations, let me know.
You can shoot me a DM or justleave a review and I will
definitely follow up.
All right, y'all.
Be blessed Peace.
If I know, I want to achieve a goal of, let's say,
you know, getting married andhaving kids, right, so I'm a new
dad and proud to be a new dad,but that was a journey.
So I've been married 10 years,but a father less than one.
If I was only thinking in theshort term, like it had to
happen now, then I would havegiven up on that goal a long
(00:21):
time ago.
All right, all right.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Peace and Prosperity Podcast
.
I'm your host, jason Phillips,licensed therapist, confidence
expert, and today we are talkingabout the importance of having
vision.
This is one of those topicswhere we have to revisit,
(00:43):
because the language aroundvision changes and we learn more
about ourselves and how toapply these different concepts
so that we can have vision forourselves.
Now, before we talk about, like, how to acquire vision and what
it looks like, let's talk aboutsome of the things that get in
the way of you really having thevision that you want for
(01:06):
yourself.
The first thing that gets inthe way is lack of clarity or
lack of focus, but then theybounce around to something else
and something else and somethingelse, and they continuously
(01:26):
start over.
Or their vision or their goalis so broad that they can't ever
narrow it down.
So if I'm talking to you, youmay be thinking like dang Jason.
That's kind of where I've beenat Right.
I know I want something, but Idon't know exactly what it is.
And that lack of specificity Ikilled it right there.
Right, I know I want something,but I don't know exactly what
(01:47):
it is.
And that lack of specificity oh, I killed it right there.
Right.
But that lack of specificity itreally does get in the way of
you being able to acquire andachieve the goal that you want.
For instance, let's say youwant to make a certain amount of
money or you want to besuccessful financially.
Let's just use numbers, but youdon't know what that number is.
(02:07):
You don't know truly what thatnumber looks like.
So it's going to be hard foryou to have that vision, to make
it plain, because you'reconfused or you're not sure
about exactly where you want togo.
Or you may be in your careeryou've been in a career for a
while but it's like you knowwhat you want more, but you're
(02:28):
not exactly sure what more lookslike.
You're not clear on where youwant to go.
So this means an opportunitycould be right in front of you,
but you're not sure what youwant, so you can't take it, you
can't seize the opportunity.
The clearer that you get, theeasier it's going to be for you
to attain vision and really havea clear path for you.
(02:53):
Let's also say the second thingis going to be when you are just
a little bit too, maybe toooverzealous, like you know what
you want, but you you're notrealistic.
Yeah, let's say that you'reunrealistic about what it's
going to take to achieve thisgoal or to play out this vision.
So then, what this looks likeis you become scatterbrained, or
(03:16):
you may become frustrated withyourself because of the lack of
progress getting in the way ofyou being able to execute,
progress getting in the way ofyou being able to execute
Because, again, you know, youhave a concept of it.
Like, we've heard that term, Ihave a concept of what I want,
but you don't know exactly whatit is, or you're just
unrealistic about the work thatit's going to take to achieve
(03:38):
what you want.
Now, let's say we talked aboutlack of clarity.
We also talked about being alittle bit too overzealous
Another thing that can get inthe way, truly, of you having
vision or being able to play itout is the fear of failure.
Now, this is the thing withfailure does come risk, or with
(04:00):
success comes risk.
But if you're so scared thatyou don't actually take the step
, the first step, then you willstay stuck.
Now this looks like playing itsafe.
Think about the area in yourlife where you know like, yes, I
need more here, I want more inthis area, I actually deserve
more in this area of my life.
(04:21):
And you got the vision, butwhat you don't have is the
confidence to go after it,because you tried to go after it
before and it didn't work.
So now you deem that as afailure and now you can't try it
again.
It hurt too bad, but you knowwhat that is truly a part of
life.
Turn that failure or that loss,or however you want to frame it,
(04:45):
turn it into a lesson.
What mistakes did you make?
Or maybe it just wasn't yourtiming?
But when you are so afraid toput yourself out there to
actually get what you want,you're going to find yourself
really lacking clear vision andbeing able to have that inner
peace and prosperity for you.
(05:05):
So, like I'm you know if youhaven't listened to the podcast.
I'm married, been marriedalmost 10 years now.
So in order for me to date mywife and propose to her and get
married all of that there had tobe a risk, because she could
have said no.
Would that have stopped me?
Probably so no, I'm joking Likeit wouldn't have stopped me,
(05:25):
but I would figure out.
What do I need to do to get herattention?
How can I find out if we'recompatible or not?
How can I step my game up?
Not just taking the man is notgoing to work out or start
beating myself up because itdidn't go how I wanted the first
time around.
That is what you call beingafraid of taking that huge risk.
(05:48):
So don't let fear of failurestop you from being great in the
specific area of your life,especially if you know that you
want more and you deserve morein that area, even when it comes
to your you know, not just yourpersonal romantic life, but
when it comes to your career.
Don't be afraid to put yourselfout there and be rejected.
(06:08):
Maybe you're not as good as youthink you are.
Maybe you need to step up yourcredentials.
Maybe you've been rushing it incertain areas or aspects and
really you need to redefine yourskill set or figure out a
better way to position yourself.
All of these things just meanyou need either more data or
(06:29):
maybe you need to try harder.
You need more skills, moreeducation, more credentials,
whatever it means.
But it does not mean that,because you didn't get what you
thought you deserved or youfailed in one area, that you
just give up.
When you do that, that's howyou just lose your vision
altogether.
You don't even try.
Another thing that will get inthe way of you having great
(06:53):
vision is you will have what wecall short-term thinking.
You're only thinking abouttomorrow, or you're only
thinking about the next day Likeit's very well, it's the same
thing, right, but you're onlythinking about the next day Like
it's very well, it's the samething, right, but you only
thinking like this far ahead,you're not thinking long-term.
So, for instance, if I know Iwant to achieve a goal of, let's
(07:14):
say, you know, getting marriedand having kids, right, so I'm a
new dad and proud to be a newdad, but that was a journey, so
I've been married 10 years, buta father less than one.
If I was only thinking in theshort term, like it had to
happen now, then I would havegiven up on that goal a long
time ago.
But I was thinking the future.
(07:35):
I was thinking I'm in this forthe long haul and I'm going to
do, or we're going to do,whatever it takes to achieve
what we want in that area.
That's where the faith comesinto play, but also that's when
you put in the work and yourbehaviors make a big difference
too.
Sometimes we only get stuck inthe right now phase, like if I
(07:55):
don't have it right now, thenmaybe it's not in my vision or
my vision board is off.
That is definitely what we calla black and white thinking.
Or again, it's just short termthinking.
We got to start thinking longterm.
Down the field For you, you arethe quarterback of your life
and sometimes, if you watchfootball, sometimes they are
(08:16):
running it two yards, threeyards, five yards, and then
they'll throw that thing up outthere for like a 50 or 60 yard
game.
But the quarterback sees likeI'm trying to get down the field
, despite how long it takes, ordespite if I'm passing, running
whatever play is being called,think about your life.
You may have to call differentplays depending on what players
(08:40):
you have to work with or whatthe circumstances are.
You're going to call adifferent play if you're feeling
real up in this area in yourlife, or you're going to, you
know, run this different play ifyou know.
Hey, I'm struggling right here,so let me go back to the
drawing board, but I'm not goingto quit and I'm not going to
think that just because I'm notmoving the ball down the field
(09:00):
right now that I'm not going toget a touchdown.
Sometimes we get so caught upon just trying to throw up a
Hail Mary, right, you just throwup a wing and a prayer that you
can't even be strategic aboutwhat you need to do for you.
Be the quarterback, be patientand execute, and if you notice
this one thing aboutquarterbacks they're making
(09:22):
split second decisions, butthey're being calm all at the
same time.
All right y'all.
One more thing that gets in theway of us being able to have
clear vision and I would saythis is probably one of the
bigger things too is we lacksupport and resources.
What do I mean by that?
(09:42):
That means that the people youhave around you or the areas
that you spend the most time inthey're not conducive to what
your vision looks like.
They don't see you gettingwhere you want to go.
So their behaviors, thelanguage, how they interact with
you, it keeps you right whereyou are, and you, you're a part
(10:04):
of that too, right?
So don't think you can justpoint the finger and blame this
person, blame your partner,blame your coworkers, blame your
boss.
No, you're a part of thatcircle as well.
But look at your circle, lookat your support system, look at
your resources.
Am I using them to the best ofmy ability?
Are these the people that aregoing to help me get down the
(10:26):
field, or do I need to getdifferent resources?
Do I need to tap in to otherthings that I know I have access
to, or I need to learn moreabout?
These are the things that aregoing to help you reach that
long-term success.
And I'm telling y'all I thinkvision is something that we
underestimate, we don't giveenough credit to, because we
(10:48):
think certain things are justsupposed to happen.
Right, it's not going to takework.
I was talking to somebody acouple of weeks ago and I talked
to them about like you know,I'm in school right now and
they're in school and I saidlisten, we know it's end of
semester, we got papers due, wehave reports due, we have exams
all of that you have to lock in.
You have to tell yourself, no,I can't do X, y or Z until I
(11:11):
have this done.
And they're like, really, youhave to be that strict with
yourself.
I'm like, yes, again, I'm mybiggest support to me.
But then also the people aroundme, they know, like my wife
knows, if I have an exam due orsomething she knows like, hey,
go ahead, knock it out.
We're not, don't think abouttrying to take me out or do
extra chores.
(11:31):
Get what you need to get done.
That is support, and you needpeople in your life that are
going to be again conducive andhelpful for you getting where
you need to go.
Is stress and burnout taking atoll on your company's
productivity and morale?
Are you looking for ways toimprove your employees' mental
(11:55):
health and wellness?
If so, it's time to invest inmental health support for your
workplace.
As a mental health expert andspeaker, I provide solutions for
creating a happier, healthierand more productive workplace.
This includes a range ofservices to help your employees
(12:15):
cope with stress, anxiety andother mental health challenges.
I facilitate workshops andpresentations designed
specifically to help youremployees develop resiliency,
manage stress and reduce burnout.
So, while wait, make mentalhealth and wellness a priority
in your workplace today andcontact us so we can support you
(12:38):
all.
All right, let's get back to theepisode.
So, now that we talked aboutsome of the things that get in
the way of us having vision,what are some of the things that
we need to help us with thevision?
I talked about support and youbeing the biggest support.
Also, you have to valueyourself, meaning don't look for
(13:02):
other people to give you thatvalidation, to be your
cheerleader.
You have to value you, affirmyourself.
Y'all can't see behind me.
I don't think.
Yeah, but there's any type oftrophy that I've won
certificates that I've achievedmy degrees.
I keep them.
So, as a reminder, like I knowI've put in a lot of work, and
(13:23):
it's not to brag or be cocky.
I know I've put in a lot ofwork and it's not to brag or be
cocky, but it's to let me knowlike I'm still valuing me and
I'm going to validate.
I'm going to validate me beforeI look at to you to validate me
.
So let's get into like, whyvision is so important, one we
talked about when you don't havevision or when you don't have
clarity or focus, it throws youoff.
(13:44):
But when you do have vision, itclarifies your purpose.
So the vision that I have formy family was always to have
longevity, have security, havelove, and because I wanted those
things that made me go thatmuch harder we were having a
disagreement, having a fight.
(14:05):
I knew this is temporary, thisis not long-term, it's not
permanent.
If I knew we were struggling ina certain area, okay, let's
figure it out.
But because I had the visionfor us, the long-term vision, it
made my purpose just be definedthat much more.
I'm not about to give up justbecause we're having a rough
(14:26):
time or we disagree aboutsomething.
Sometimes we let small thingsget us way off track and we're
like well, how did you even getthere?
Oh, you forgot about yourpurpose.
You forgot that there arethings that are bigger than you
or things that you havecommitted to that keep you
grounded, even when you don'tfeel like it.
(14:46):
Another reason why vision is soimportant it does keep you
motivated too.
We don't do anything withoutpurpose, values, but also being
motivated, even the bad things,the things that we're not proud
of, the things that we're like.
Man, why do I keep doing thatwhen I'm working with somebody
(15:07):
to change their behavior, Ialways look at what is the, what
is the outcome that you'regetting, what is the reward?
Before I'm not judging youbefore we look at like why do
you do that?
What is the outcome like, whatis driving you in that area?
So having the vision keeps youintrinsically motivated.
(15:31):
Sometimes when I'm working out,I don't feel like working out.
If I'm being straight up,honest with you.
There are times, especially now, with like juggling work,
school, life stuff, fatherhood,all of that.
I'm like I got to work out too.
But I know, because I knowwhere I want to be and how I
want myself to look and feel.
I know because I know where Iwant to be and how I want myself
to look and feel.
It keeps me motivated, evenwhen I'm like don't feel like it
, that that vision is there.
(15:51):
I know when I, when I eathealthy, when I follow my
workout regimen, I know what Ilook like.
I know what I feel like.
The vision is there.
So it keeps me going, even whenI don't feel like it.
I tell my swim coach all thetime I don't I don't feel like
it.
I tell my swim coach all thetime I don't desire to do it,
(16:12):
but when I get into it it's like, okay, cool, I'm so happy
afterwards.
But that's when you have vision.
I can see the outcome before iteven gets there.
I hope that makes sense.
Being in school right now, I'mlike man.
I'm finishing up my second year.
It's flying by Soon.
You know writing and get readyto graduate.
I saw that even when I firstenrolled in the first class.
That's what happens when youhave the purpose, when you have
(16:35):
the motivation.
It helps make everything likecrystal clear for you.
When you have vision, it alsoaligns the goals that you have
with the actions that you'retaking.
So now everything makes sense.
It's still all strategic.
So I'm thinking long term.
I'm not thinking just like inthe here and now phase, which,
(16:56):
again, sometimes we get caughtup doing that, we get stuck just
like how we feel right now,today, and life is not about
that.
It's not all about instantgratification right now, today,
and life is not about that.
It's not all about instantgratification.
If you look at study, delay,gratification, y'all the biggest
and best things that we canaccomplish, they don't happen
overnight.
It takes some time and this isno knock to you if you've had
(17:19):
something just kind of given toyou or you lucked up on
something, but think about thethings that really took work and
effort.
You value it much more, thatrelationship that you, you've
worked through the hard times.
You value it much more thedegree, the business, the
relationships with your familymembers.
(17:39):
You value that much more thansomething that you can just like
, buy or just kind of it comesat you without any work being
involved, buy or just kind of itcomes at you without any work
being involved.
Y'all vision for yourself,vision for your life.
When you put it all together,you can really sit back like
dang.
I've been working super hardbut I'm so proud of it because
(17:59):
now I see the fruits of my labor.
Last thing I want to say aboutvision and why it's so, so
important Having the vision.
It pushes you and forces you tobe creative, because sometimes
you might be doing something andyou're like man, I'm feeling
stuck.
But when you know, okay, thisis just a temporary moment, you
(18:19):
got to get creative and figurethis out, like now, you go into
your toolbox how do I workthrough this problem?
How do I get over this issue?
Who do I call to ask forsupport.
It pushes you out of yourcomfort zone because, again, you
know what the long term goal isand what that long term success
looks like for you.
(18:47):
Of vision boards If you have notcreated a vision board, I would
just encourage you to do so,because it's going to bring out
that creativity.
It's going to force you to bespecific on what you want.
Vague terms are cool, you know,kind of like all right, I want
happiness, I want faith, I wantmore prayer, but then how many
times do you want to pray?
What are you praying for?
How can you get a little bitmore dialed in on what you want
(19:09):
for you?
When you do that, it makes thevision just come to life.
I'll share some things that Iput on my vision board.
They really started to comeinto fruition and I wasn't even
thinking about that the car thatI drive.
I did a vision board a coupleyears ago and I was just like
picking out different cars.
It's not like I was thinkinglike, oh, this is my car.
(19:30):
But then, lo and behold, I gotthat car and it looks exactly
like you did in the vision board.
Other things where I wanted totravel, that was on the vision
board, not me thinking like, oh,I want to travel to you know
this state or this city or thiscountry, but it was just I was
really putting it on the visionboard.
But then it came, it happened,it came to fruition.
(19:51):
I was like, wow, this reallyworks.
Not saying I didn't believe init before.
I've been doing vision boards,for I think my first one for
sure was like right out of gradschool, but each time it gets
more and more specific.
So I've seen the value ofhaving vision boards, having
vision period.
But then I also know what getsin the way when you're around
(20:14):
people who don't believe in you,when you're not affirming
yourself.
All of these become roadblocksand stop you from living and
enjoying your life If you don'ttake anything away from this
episode.
One, have the right peoplearound you.
Two, make sure you have clarityon what you want.
And then three, don't be afraidto fail.
(20:36):
Failure is not that it's a partof life in aspects, but really
you're learning from everysingle failure and every loss.
Don't let it get in the way ofyour vision.
If you really want it like, ifyou for real really want it,
work at it.
Get creative, get disciplined,get consistent, but do not, by
all means, do not, give up.
(20:58):
Don't give up on your vision,y'all.
All right, be blessed Peace.
Be blessed Peace.
Thank you all for listening toanother episode of the Peace and
Prosperity podcast.
Again, if you are feeling like,hey, I'm experiencing high
functioning anxiety, don't beatyourself up about it.
(21:18):
It is OK.
We all experience anxiety fromtime to time and I gave you a
couple of things that you can doon your own, but don't hesitate
to reach out to a professionalto better manage what you're
going through.
Okay, and lastly, make sure, ifyou have not like share,
(21:39):
subscribe to the podcast andsend this out to a friend, and
if you want to hear certainepisodes or have certain
conversations, let me know.
You can shoot me a DM or justleave a review and I will
definitely follow up.
All right, y'all.
Be blessed Peace.
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