Signs You Are Experiencing Anxiety #68

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The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.

Have you ever felt that anxiety is quietly sabotaging your confidence and holding you back from reaching your full potential? Join me, Jason Phillips, as we uncover the profound yet often overlooked relationship between anxiety and confidence. By tuning in, you'll learn to identify the subtle signs of anxiety that impact your daily life and decision-making process. We'll shed light on how feelings of jitteriness, tension, or emotional distance can be so hidden from those around us that we may not even recognize them ourselves. Through candid discussions, we'll explore the destructive impact of negative self-talk and pessimistic thinking, which often lead to inaction and missed opportunities.

We'll also tackle how unchecked anxiety can significantly affect your relationships and personal growth. I emphasize the importance of confronting and managing your fears to prevent future regrets. By addressing anxiety head-on, you can build healthier coping mechanisms and improve your overall well-being. Throughout the episode, you'll discover insights into bettering your relationship with yourself and others, empowering you to live a more confident, fulfilled life. Don't forget to explore other episodes where experts share their strategies for managing anxiety in various contexts, from friendships to professional environments. Let's journey together towards peace, prosperity, and unshakable confidence.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to another episode of the Peace and
Prosperity podcast.
I'm your host, jason Phillips,licensed therapist, confidence
expert, and today we're going todive into one of my favorite
topics, which I think is one ofy'all's too, but we're going to
talk about anxiety and how ouranxiety has an impact on our
confidence and how we show up.

(00:31):
So the reason behind thisepisode is because I'm really
starting to hear and see in mypractice and even just day to
day life, we're experiencinganxiety at extremely high levels
now.
I mean from the smallest thingsto well, maybe not small to
some, but like what do I wear?
To the bigger things as far aswhat do I do with my life?

(00:54):
Like what career choice do Imake or do I reconcile this
relationship, and I'm going totalk about some signs that you
can be aware of that you areexperiencing anxiety and, of
course, we're going to talkabout what do you do with it.
So the first thing I want tojust say when it comes to

(01:14):
anxiety, you probably feelyourself being really, really on
edge and tensed up almost tothe fact is where you feel very
jittery, or sometimes you canfeel like you're about to
explode inside, but on theoutside nobody knows what's
happening.
You've been accustomed tooperating at this level for so

(01:36):
long that most of your friends,your family, your peers they
don't get it.
And well, let me say that, notthat they don't get it, but they
don't notice it.
And well, let me say that, notthat they don't get it, but they
don't notice it because you'rejust so good at hiding it.
So we have to start being moreforthcoming about our true
feelings.
It's not helping you and it'snot helping them help you when

(02:00):
you conceal or choose not toreveal what you're going through
.
And I get it.
I'm that person who does notlike asking for help.
I don't like a lot of attentionon me or definitely like not a
pity party.
So I understand where you'recoming from If you're like well,
look, I just want to figurethis out on my own.

(02:21):
But then you have to askyourself those magic words or
magic question how is thisworking out for you?
Like that, right, there hasbeen a game changer, because
when you think about what you'redoing to rectify the issue on
your own, is it working?
And more often than not, it'snot working, and you've reached

(02:44):
your wits end as far as what todo.
You've run out of answers foryourself, you've run out of
resources, so you have to say,all right, let me let somebody
in and let somebody know what'sgoing on.
Now.
How else can you recognizeanxiety the way that you talk,
meaning you probably have a lotof negative self-talk, you're

(03:05):
being more pessimistic aboutthings.
So let me give you an example.
You have an opportunity comingup and at first you're excited
about it.
You're like you know what thisis for me.
You know I've been manifestingit.
Or you know I've been prayingon it, I've been working towards
it.
But then one thing goes wrongin the process and now you're

(03:27):
like wait, maybe this is notmeant to be, maybe this is a
sign.
Oh, this could be a baddecision.
It may not work out for me.
Like all of these negativethoughts start to race in your
head and all of a sudden, thisgoes from being like the best
thing that could have happenedto you to the worst thing that

(03:47):
you don't want to happen, and ithappens so quick.
So be mindful of this yourself.
Talk and what you're attractingor projecting to come true
Another way to recognize youranxiety you may find your energy
just being zapped and thislooks like you know low mood,

(04:09):
you don't want to do anything.
You stand at home or or when youare out.
It's like you're out but you'rephysically or mentally you're
not there.
So you're physically, you know,hanging out with friends or
your partner, but likeemotionally and mentally in your
head you're in hanging out withfriends or your partner, but
like emotionally and mentally inyour head, you're in a whole
different space.
And again, this is somethingthat you can become accustomed

(04:32):
to doing.
So you'll say, yes, you'll showup, but on the inside you're
thinking what do I say next?
Or I hope everybody's notlooking at me, or I hope I'm not
making a fool out of myself.
All of these things come up foryou so you can't even enjoy the
moment.
So these are some signs thatyour anxiety is really starting

(04:53):
to get the best of you.
It's fueling self-doubt andmore than likely you're going to
end up self-sabotaging becauseyou're projecting or you're
expecting bad things to happen.
So because of that you, youdon't act.
So those type of thoughts leadto inaction and over time, if

(05:15):
that becomes the pattern now,you're really going to feel bad,
because you'll look back andsay, well, I could have done a
whole bunch of things, but youchose not to because of the fear
or the worry or the thefeelings of being overwhelmed,
or what if this goes wrong?
What if this doesn't work out?

(05:36):
This doesn't work out, I'mtelling you.
If that's the case, you'regoing to find yourself being way
more frustrated, not because ofwhat did happen, but because of
what did not happen on your end, because you feared what was
going to happen.
I hope you all follow me onthat one.
I remember when I first startedto like practice in therapy,

(05:59):
there was a worksheet that wewould go over in one of the
groups and it was like a cartoonand it says something to the
effect of I had a lot of things.
What did he say?
I worried about a lot of things, but most of them never
happened.
Something like that, meaning alot of the things that we worry
about does not actually cometrue.

(06:21):
But we spend a lot of time andenergy trying to predict what's
going to happen or how do wenavigate it if it does come true
.
But then, when it doesn't,we're just stuck like hey, I
really spent all of that timetrying to mitigate this
potential problem or problem,solve a problem that didn't come

(06:43):
up.
And now that becomesfrustrating because you look at
all of the time that you putinto something that didn't even
come true.
I'm telling you, this anxietything can really, really be a
beast, and it can lead us tofeeling stuck and actually being
stuck.
So what do you do about it?

(07:04):
Well, one, you got to change upthe people around you.
Now I know you like wait, Idon't.
I'm not around anybody, right?
I'm already feeling anxious.
So I pretty much stay to myself.
So what does that mean?
Now you have to look within andstart to do the work on
yourself.
I always say, when you start todo that self-work, that means

(07:27):
you have to humble yourself andacknowledge that, hey, I'm a
part of this problem.
It's not just everybody else,because that's what I want to
say, because it seems good andit feels good to say, hey, this
is because of them or that'sbecause of this, but in
actuality, we have some of theresponsibility in that right.

(07:49):
I think we talked about that onprevious episodes, how we have
to take accountability and thehealing is our responsibility.
So that's the first thing.
Then, next, I want you to mapout what does your life look
like without anxiety.
You see where I'm going there.
Or you could say this what doesyour life look like if you were

(08:11):
managing anxiety?
Because sometimes we feel like,wait, look, this anxiety is
just going to be here and I'tknow how to how to get rid of it
.
But how can you still show upwith it?
Or, despite of, like I thinksometimes we think that because
we experience anxiety, thatmeans we can experience joy or

(08:32):
pleasure, and that could not befurther from the truth.
Like there's a lot of stuffthat I myself do, even if I'm
anxious, even if I'm worried,nervous, and you know what?
I still have a great time.
I've talked about just differentthings, whether it be speaking,
whether it be, you know,physical activities like

(08:53):
swimming, the new experiencesyou know going back to school at
a later age, like all of thesethings come with some worry in
between it.
But that doesn't mean that Idon't do it like OK, let's look
at it like this If you continuenot to do the things because of
the anxiety, then what does yourlife look like in five years,

(09:16):
10 years, 20 years?
Would you really want to lookback on your life and say, dang,
I wish I could have done this,but I was so nervous.
That is poor outcome, like theoutcome is going to be there,
but you have some say so in whatthe outcome looks like.
You don't want to let youranxiety dictate that.

(09:37):
I'm telling you.
I like anxiety can really bedebilitating and it can take
over.
You can sell yourself short.
You can essentially live yourlife at a lower level or, as
they say now, lower vibration,because you're afraid of what
could happen, the whole shoulda,coulda, woulda thing.

(09:58):
It gets really, really deep.
But I'm here to say that if youbreak it down, one identify
where the anxiety is coming from, how it's showing up, and then
ask yourself what does life looklike with you managing it?
Now you can start to see.
You know what.
I can still do this even if Iam worried about people judging

(10:24):
me.
Or I can still do this even ifI am scared that I may fail,
because you could fail.
But does that make you afailure?
No, it means that you tried,even with the anxiety.
I remember when I was in gradschool it was one class I had.
I didn't really speak up awhole lot in that class and I

(10:46):
remember the professor said man,we wish we could have heard
more from you during that class.
And that statement stuck to mebecause it was like you know
what, even if I'm not sure if Ihave the right answer, if I know
what I'm talking about or ifpeople may judge my response or
my comment feedback, whatever, Istill put it out there.

(11:07):
You never know who you're goingto help or just helping
yourself by speaking up andspeaking out.
Don't let the concern about howyou look or how you are
perceived to other people stopyou from being who you are.
That is letting the anxiety win.
Being who you are, that isletting the anxiety win.

(11:31):
Yeah, anxiety is going to bethere.
It's a part of it's a naturalemotion, but it's only when it
becomes really severe andintense and the frequency is
really up there.
That's when anxiety becomes aproblem.
Don't live your life at a lowerlevel because you're afraid of
what is going to happen, oryou're afraid of how you going
to happen, or you're afraid ofhow you're going to look, how
you're going to sound.
That will cause you to havewhat we don't want, and that's

(11:54):
regrets, man, we talking aboutit.
I really wanted to go therebecause, again, from the younger
folks that I work with to thefolks who are a little bit older
.
We all are saying some of thesame things, which is fear,
worry, concern, and is showingup and impacting our

(12:18):
relationships, not just withourself, but with other people
as well.
All right, y'all, so that'sanother episode of the Peace and
Prosperity podcast.
All right, y'all.
So that's another episode ofthe Peace and Prosperity podcast
.
I would encourage you, if thisepisode hits home for you, check
out some of the other episodesaround anxiety.
I've had some other expertscome on to talk about how they
manage anxiety, whether that bein friendships, relationships or

(12:41):
in the professional world.
All right, be blessed Peace.