Trapped by Success: How To Break the 4 Ps of Imposter Syndrome - Episode #85

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​The Peace & Prosperity Podcast is a bi-weekly conversation with Jason Phillips, LCSW, licensed therapist and confidence expert in Raleigh, NC, discussing all things related to self-love and self-confidence, and how we can improve ourselves personally and professionally.

Ever feel like you're doing everything right but still stuck in self-doubt? In this episode, Jason breaks down the “Four Ps of Imposter Syndrome” – people-pleasing, procrastination, paralysis, and perfectionism – and how they silently sabotage high achievers. Drawing from both personal experience and clinical insight, Jason offers practical tools to help you break these cycles and reclaim your confidence. If you’re tired of running on empty, this conversation is your invitation to pause, breathe, and reset. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
All right, we are rolling and we are back with
another episode of the Peace andProsperity Podcast.
I'm your host, jason Phillips,licensed therapist, confidence
expert, and today we're going tobe talking about the four Ps of
imposter syndrome and how thismight be showing up and
impacting your anxiety.

(00:25):
So you're probably thinking,all right, jason, what are these
four Ps and is this somethingthat I can relate to?
So the reason why we're havingthis conversation is because I'm
noticing, especially with myhigh achievers, you all like to
strive to be the best in everysingle category and every single

(00:46):
aspect of your life, withoutalways kind of taking knowledge
how much pressure that is.
Have you ever sat back andthought it's a lot for me to
show up consistently, take careof everybody, sometimes put my
needs to the side and still beokay over and over and over?
So it's okay, you can probablydo it every now and then, but to

(01:10):
consistently neglect your needsand consistently try to take
care of everybody else, overtime it gets to be exhausting.
And these are some of the waysit can really show up for you.
The first P is people pleasing.
You will take care of everybodyelse because you feel like,

(01:30):
well, if I'm taking care of them.
They're going to take care ofme.
Or maybe your needs weren't met.
Earlier in life, you've beenconditioned to take care of
everybody else, feeling like,well, this is what I have to do.
To take care of everybody else,feeling like, well, this is
what I have to do.
Maybe growing up, your parentsmade sure that you were the
oldest, so you had to take careof your sibling.
Or your parents made sure youwere respectful, but also that

(02:01):
you put your needs last andother people's needs first.
I'm thinking because I'm theoldest in my household.
I was the oldest growing up inmy house and I can remember
being told like hey, don't worryabout your sister, or that was
the constant theme of makingsure that I did not put myself
first.
So I can remember, growing up,being the oldest in the house

(02:22):
with my siblings.
It was constantly reinforcedthat I need to take care of my
sister, which I didn't mind it,but it put me into a mode of
people pleasing and not reallythinking about what do I need or
what do I want out of asituation, because I'm so used
to making sure other people aregood.
So this could be you even inyour adult life where, yes, you

(02:46):
have wants, yes, you havedesires, but they're so far at
the bottom because, innately,you think about everyone and
what else they need.
It's cool, but it's notsomething that's sustainable.
So if you find yourself being apeople pleaser, let's take
inventory of it and do somethingabout it.
The second P of impostersyndrome that could be showing

(03:08):
up for you is procrastination.
Yes, I had to say it, becausewe will think about things that
we need to get done.
It's like, oh, I have this longto-do list, I need to run these
errands, or I need to get thesethings done at work, or I want
to do this for myself, butthere's so much that we want to

(03:30):
do.
We end up doing absolutelynothing because just the thought
of getting started is too much.
We get exhausted before we evenstart moving.
So in our mind, yeah, you know,when I get off work, I'm going
to knock out all of these things.
Or when the weekend comes, I'mgoing to make sure I check off

(03:51):
all of these boxes.
You have it mapped out.
It's almost like you can seeyourself finishing these things,
but good old procrastinationslips in and when you start to
get going, you're like you knowwhat?
I don't.
I don't know if I had theenergy, or you really don't have
the energy physically, yourbody's like nope, hey, hey, wait

(04:11):
.
I wanted to get all of thesethings done.
There's like this battle inyour mind because you just knew
you were going to crush it.
You knew you were going to getso far ahead or catch back up.
But something gets in the wayand it truly does get in the way

(04:31):
, where you don't have thatenergy anymore.
It's like all of that energyand motivation that you have is
zapped.
So now, because you don't havethat motivation, your energy is
gone.
You start to beat yourself upthinking wow, here I go again,
saying that I'm going to dosomething and not following

(04:52):
through.
So procrastination can turninto man.
Now I'm anxious because Ididn't do what I said I was
going to do.
I'm worried.
Are people going to think thatI'm not as great as I am?
Do I?
I didn't do what I said I wasgoing to do.
I'm worried.
Are people going to think thatI'm not as great as I am?
Do I not feel as great as Ithought I was?
Am I not who I said I was goingto be, or who I am?
There's all of these thoughtsand questions that we have, we

(05:13):
start to second guess ourselvesbecause we were tired, we needed
a break, but we deem it to bewe're just procrastinating.
And then that cycle will showup over and over in different
spaces and different places.
So that's the second.
First, we will start peoplepleasing.
Second, we will start toprocrastinate.
Third, we will get intoparalysis.

(05:35):
Y'all have heard the sayingbefore analysis paralysis where
you don't do anything becauseyou just feel like I don't know
what to do right, like you getlike a brain freeze, or should
we say a life freeze, where wecan't move.
It's like I don't even knowwhere to start.

(05:55):
I'm so overwhelmed because if Ido something, it's got to be
great.
I can't half-ass anything.
If I can't give it my all, I'mnot going to do it.
So there's these thoughts thatwe have, these beliefs about how
we need to show up, this innatepressure we're putting on

(06:15):
ourselves, and now we get stuck,and this stuck feeling can last
, you know, a couple of days, orit could last months.
You can even find yourselffeeling stuck for years, where
your life is not going the wayyou think it should be going.
So again, you're feeling morestressed out, more depressed,

(06:35):
more unlike yourself, and you'relike what is going on with me?
These are some of the thoughtsyou're having.
I know how much I used to beable to do.
I know I'm really good at thisthing, or at least I used to be.
So what's up with me now?
How come I can't get moving onanything?
And once this paralysis takesover, you become fearful that

(06:56):
this is going to be your newnormal.
So the thought that you had nowbecomes a really significant
fear.
Like I can't let this be me Atthis time.
If you're like okay, jason, youdefinitely talking to me I want
you to one breathe, because youprobably have just been
spinning your wheels, you'vebeen wrecking your brain about

(07:18):
how to get started, where youcan't even just be in the moment
and look at all the things thatyou have going on all around
you.
So I want you to take a pauseand just kind of take a step
back before you try to throwanother intervention or throw
another strategy at yoursituation.
Then after that, assess what doI really want?
What do I need to really donext, before I just start going

(07:42):
in this direction?
And giving yourself that pausesometimes will let you just kind
of reset on your own before youneed to seek out professional
support.
And then so we talked aboutparalysis.
We said paralysis, so we talkedabout the first P people
pleasing.
We talked about procrastinationparalysis.
And then, last, we haveperfectionism.

(08:05):
Now this is the one a lot of uscan relate to.
I definitely can relate to it.
I mean, as early as being ayoung boy, wanting my clothes to
look a certain way or wantingmy homework to look a certain
way.
Even when it comes to recordingcontent, there are times where
I'm like you know what?
You just got to get it done.

(08:26):
I remember when I first startedto record different videos and
put things out on social media,it would take me a zillion tries
to get started.
I mean, it's like it had to bethe right information, the right
setting.
It had to be the rightinformation, the right setting.
All of these things had to beright.
But what was most important wasdelivering the message.

(08:47):
See, I got caught up in makingit about me.
When it's not about me, it'sabout making sure that you get
what you need.
So, when it comes toperfectionism, if you struggle
with this, think about what isdriving that need to be perfect?
Are you putting something thatshould be?
You know you're trying to givesomething to somebody or to you

(09:07):
know your family, your team,your workers, your job.
You're a giver at heart, butyou get caught up in some of the
details which have more to dowith you than it is to do with
the people that you're helping.
Or maybe you are doingsomething for yourself, but you
get caught up in the minutia ofit so you never really get

(09:31):
rolling.
Or when you do something, youpick it apart.
It's like you.
You tear yourself down with somuch negative self-talk or
negative energy because itdidn't go as exactly as you
wanted it to like, exactly asplanned.
Y'all that perfectionism issomething that I think most of
us can struggle with or we havedealt with at some point in our

(09:53):
lives.
But again, when we think aboutwhat is the purpose, what am I
doing this for?
And most of us, we are kind,hearthearted people and we want
to help others.
So it's not about us, but wemake it about us and that
stifles our progress.
That gets us in our own headand our feelings and it holds us
back from knowing ourself-worth, from acting on the

(10:17):
things that we truly want to doand just relaxing and being our
best selves.
When it comes to impostersyndrome, when it comes to
anxiety, it is something thatcan totally take over if we
allow it.
So I want you to be moremindful of how you're showing up
and if you are showing up, areyou being your true, authentic

(10:38):
self or are you letting some ofthese things get in the way of
the process?
All right, y'all, as always, beblessed.
Be great Peace.
Thank you all for listening toanother episode of the Peace and
Prosperity Podcast.
Again, if you are feeling like,hey, I'm experiencing high

(11:00):
functioning anxiety, don't beatyourself up about it.
It is okay.
We all experience anxiety fromtime to time and I gave you a
couple of things that you can doon your own, but don't hesitate
to reach out to a professionalto better manage what you're
going through.
Okay, and and lastly, make sure, if you have not like share,

(11:24):
subscribe to the podcast andsend this out to a friend, and
if you want to hear certainepisodes or have certain
conversations, let me know.
You can shoot me a DM or justleave a review and I will
definitely follow up.
All right, y'all, be blessed,peace.