QUICK TIPS: Do's and Don'ts of Work Friendships

🗓️ Episode Summary:
 In today’s episode, Dr. Jeremy Pollack explores how to build and maintain healthy boundaries between friendship and professionalism in the workplace. It’s easy—and often natural—to form close bonds with coworkers, but without clear boundaries, those relationships can lead to favoritism, burnout, or blurred responsibilities. Learn how to protect your wellbeing while fostering authentic connection.

🔑 What You’ll Learn:

• Why workplace boundaries matter for mental health and team dynamics
  
  
• Five core practices to navigate friendships at work
  
  
• Hypothetical examples that illustrate what healthy boundaries look like
  
  
• A practical “Dos and Don’ts” list to apply right away
  
  
• How to maintain fairness, avoid drama, and still be a kind human
  
  

📌 Key Takeaways:

• Clear priorities prevent work friendships from interfering with job performance
  
  
• Oversharing can damage professional credibility—discretion is powerful
  
  
• Fairness in leadership and decision-making builds team-wide trust
  
  
• Off-hours communication norms reduce stress and emotional fatigue
  
  
• Everyone’s comfort levels with closeness differ—respect their boundaries
  
  

🧰 Tools You Can Use:

• Assertion phrases to protect your time and energy
  
  
• Communication templates for deflecting work talk outside of work
  
  
• A quick-reference Dos & Don’ts list for daily practice
  
  

💬 Favorite Quote:
 “Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re guardrails that keep relationships from veering into discomfort, burnout, or conflict.”

Connect with Me

🌐 Website: PollackPeacebuilding.com

🌐 Dr. Pollack’s Courses: peacefulleadersacademy.com/courses/
📧 Email: [e-mail]
📱 LinkedIn: Jeremy Pollack  

📣 Subscribe & Share:
 If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a coworker or team leader. And don’t forget to follow Peacebuilding with Dr. Pollack on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode.

#WorkplaceBoundaries #HealthyRelationships #Peacebuilding #Leadership #ConflictResolution #WorkFriends #PsychologicalSafety

Host: Dr. Jeremy Pollack from Pollack Peacebuilding Systems

More from Dr. Pollack:

• Peaceful Leaders Academy
• Conflict Resolution Playbook: Practical Communication Skills for Preventing, Managing, and Resolving Conflict
• FREE e-book: The Ultimate 12-Step Guide to Coworker Mediation: Free Ebook - Pollack Peacebuilding Systems

Connect with Dr. Pollack on social media: Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | LinkedIn

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
welcome to Peace Building withDr.
Pollock.
This is a quick Tips episodewhere I explore the strategies,
psychology and interpersonaltools that help you build better
relationships at work andbeyond.
I'm Dr.
Jeremy Pollock.
I'm a social organizationalpsychologist with a specialty in
peace and conflict psychology.
I'm also the CEO of Pollock,peace Building Systems,
workplace Conflict Management,consulting and training firm.

(00:22):
Today's episode is aboutsomething we've probably all
experienced at some point.
Navigating the tricky linebetween friendship and
professionalism at work.
It's great to meet and makefriends at work, of course, but
it's important to understand apractice, healthy work,
relationship boundaries.
How close is too close?
When does being friendly startto interfere with

(00:44):
professionalism?
And how do we maintain respectand trust when things get a
little maybe too personal?
So let's talk about how to buildhealthy, respectful work
relationships.
It is only natural to form bondswith the people we work with.
After all, we spend a big chunkof our lives at work, and those
connections can be incrediblyvaluable and fruitful.

(01:07):
Close work relationships canboost morale and teamwork, even
job satisfaction.
I.
But without some clearguardrails, workplace
friendships can turn intofavoritism, gossip loops, and
even sources of burnout.
So we need to set healthyboundaries, but that doesn't
mean keeping people at armslength.
It just means creating spacewhere both friendship and

(01:28):
professionalism can thrivesimultaneously.
So what do healthy boundarieslook like?
I wanna dive into five corecoworker relationship best
practices that help keep yourworkplace relationships, both
caring and professional.
And I'm gonna give you some veryeasy dos and don'ts for you to
keep in mind and hopefullypractice.

(01:50):
So number one.
Be clear about your workpriorities.
Friendships can lead to blurredresponsibilities.
Maybe you're helping out a buddywith their tasks while your own
deadlines slide, and that's whenrelationships start to sort of
interfere with your role and caneventually breed resentment.
So you do want to prioritizeyour responsibilities first, and

(02:14):
you do want to use kind, butfirm language.
Something like, Hey, I'd reallylike to help, but I've gotta
finish this project before Itake anything else on.
What you don't want to do is sayyes out of guilt or obligation,
especially if it's putting yourown work at risk.
Let's say you and your coworkerSarah, are good friends and she
asks you to review her reportbefore a big meeting, but the

(02:37):
catch is that you're alreadybehind on your own prep work.
So you might say, I wish I couldlook at it right now.
I of course, wanna help, but I'munder a really tight deadline.
If you still need help latertoday, I might have a window
this afternoon.
That way you are respecting therelationship and also your
responsibilities.
Okay, number two, be careful ofoversharing a little personal.

(02:59):
Sharing with coworkers can helpbuild trust, but too much can
backfire.
When coworkers know every detailof your personal life, it can
shift how you're perceivedprofessionally and if things go
south in the friendship, allthat personal information
obviously can become aliability.
So do share selectively.
Think about how much you wantothers on your team or in

(03:21):
leadership to know about you anddo save deeper processing or
venting for friends outside ofwork or maybe even a therapist.
What you don't want to do isvent constantly or share
intimate details that couldbecome gossip or fuel for drama.
Okay, number three, watch outfor favoritism.

(03:42):
If you're in a leadership roleor even just someone with
informal influence.
Favoritism real or perceived canerode team trust even if you're
not technically breaking anyrules.
Others.
Notice if one personconsistently gets special
treatment.
So what you do want to do is ofcourse, offer equal

(04:02):
opportunities for feedback,collaboration, and recognition.
And you do wanna be transparentin your decisions and invite
multiple voices to weigh in whenappropriate.
You don't want to automaticallyinclude your work friends in
every project, or leave othersout of key decisions.
Imagine you're a team lead andyour friend Jake wants to be the

(04:22):
point person on a new project.
You know he's qualified, but soare others.
A good move would be to set up ashort proposal process and let
the team pitch their ideas.
That way you remove theperception of favoritism from
the equation and keep thingsfair.
Alright, number four, setcommunication norms, late night
texts, venting over drinks,sending memes on weekends.

(04:46):
All of that might seem harmlessuntil it's not when work and
friendship blend too muchoutside of work hours.
It can lead to emotional burnoutor unintended pressure.
So what you do want to do is setsome off hour boundaries.
Let coworkers know when youprefer not to talk about work or
respond to messages.

(05:07):
And you also do want to separatechannels for work versus social
communication if possible.
I tend to use Google Chat forwork, but text messages for
personal communication, forinstance.
You don't want to feel obligatedto respond to every message
right away.
And you also shouldn't expectothers to always be on either.

(05:28):
Just a quick tool for this, ifyou're chatting with a coworker
friend over the weekend and theybring up work, you might wanna
respond with something like,Hey, let's save that for Monday.
Trying to unplug a bit for now.
It's simple, it's direct, butit's respectful.
Okay.
Number five, respect differencesin boundaries.
Not everyone wants A, B, F, F atwork.

(05:48):
Some colleagues may be politeand warm, but ultimately not
really interested in goingbeyond a professional
relationship, and that's okay.
So do follow their lead ifthey're keeping things surface
level, match that energy andalso offer connection without
pushing for intimacy.
What you don't wanna do is takeit personally.
If someone doesn't wanna sharetheir weekend plans or chat

(06:09):
after work, say you've invited anew coworker to grab lunch a few
times and they've alwaysdeclined.
That could be a cue.
Take the hint.
Instead of continuing theinvites, keep things friendly
and professional respect isbetter than forced closeness.
Alright, let me go over a quickrecap guide for healthy
workplace relationships.
The dos and don'ts.

(06:30):
All the dos.
Do prioritize your own workbefore helping friends.
Set time and topic boundariesfor off hour chats.
Include others in decisions andprojects.
Be thoughtful about what youshare and match the tone of
others' boundaries.
What you don't wanna do is sharepersonal drama and professional
spaces.
Expect constant availabilityfrom coworkers.

(06:52):
Use friendship as leverage indecision making.
Take it personally if othersprefer more distance.
Or let friendship obligationsdisrupt your responsibilities.
Don't do any of those things.
Listen, there's nothing wrongwith building genuine
friendships at work.
In fact, it can make work moremeaningful and fulfilling, but

(07:12):
those friendships can only stayhealthy if we protect them with
thoughtful boundaries.
Boundaries aren't walls.
They're guardrails that keeprelationships from veering into
discomfort.
Burnout or conflict.
And in the end, a workplacebuilt on both professionalism
and connection is one whereeveryone can thrive.
thanks for tuning into PeaceBuilding with Dr.
Pollock.

(07:33):
If this episode helped you andthink it can help others, please
share it.
For ongoing learning and toreally master your workplace
conflict resolution skills,consider joining my Peaceful
Leaders Club Club members, getaccess to exclusive content
coaching with me and my expert,conflict coaches, and my entire
online course library.
You [e-mail]

(07:54):
slash club or click on the linkin the show notes and if your
company needs training orconflict intervention or
mediation.
[e-mail] to
learn more about our services.
Until next time, take care ofyourself and each other.