QUICK TIPS: The Importance of Humility for Conflict Resolution

In this episode of Peacebuilding with Dr. Pollack, we explore one of the most overlooked yet essential qualities in conflict resolution—humility. Far from being a sign of weakness, humility is a strategic skill that opens the door to trust, collaboration, and lasting solutions. Dr. Pollack breaks down how humility depends on two key sub-traits—confidence and curiosity—and why both are necessary to make it an active, powerful force in peacebuilding.

Through hypothetical workplace examples, you’ll learn how humility can transform tense conversations into opportunities for understanding. Plus, Dr. Pollack shares four actionable tools you can use immediately to approach conflict with a balanced mindset.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why humility is a strength, not a weakness, in peacebuilding
  
  
• How confidence prevents humility from turning into self-doubt
  
  
• How curiosity transforms conflict into discovery
  
  
• Ways to build trust even in high-tension situations
  
  
• Four practical tools for applying humility in the workplace

Key Tools from the Episode:

1. The Humility Pause – Before responding, ask, “What might I not be seeing here?”
   
   
2. The Confidence-Check Statement – “Here’s what I know, and here’s what I’m still trying to understand.”
   
   
3. The Curiosity Ladder – Ask deeper questions to uncover needs and solutions.
   
   
4. The Trust-Building Acknowledgment – “I hear you. I can see how that would be frustrating. Let’s figure this out together.”

Listen Now to discover how to combine humility, confidence, and curiosity for better conflict resolution, stronger relationships, and a more collaborative workplace.

Connect with Me

🌐 Website: PollackPeacebuilding.com

🌐 Dr. Pollack’s Courses: peacefulleadersacademy.com/courses/
📧 Email: [e-mail]
📱 LinkedIn: Jeremy Pollack es

📣 Subscribe & Share:
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#humility #stayhumble #confidence #Peacebuilding #Leadership #ConflictResolution #curiosity #Psychology

Host: Dr. Jeremy Pollack from Pollack Peacebuilding Systems

More from Dr. Pollack:

• Peaceful Leaders Academy
• Conflict Resolution Playbook: Practical Communication Skills for Preventing, Managing, and Resolving Conflict
• FREE e-book: The Ultimate 12-Step Guide to Coworker Mediation: Free Ebook - Pollack Peacebuilding Systems

Connect with Dr. Pollack on social media: Facebook | Twitter | YouTube | LinkedIn

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
welcome to Peace Building withDr.
Pollock.
This is a quick Tips episodewhere I explore the strategies,
psychology and interpersonaltools that help you build better
relationships at work andbeyond.
I'm Dr.
Jeremy Pollock.
I'm a social organizationalpsychologist with a specialty in
peace and conflict psychology.
I'm also the CEO of Pollock,peace Building Systems,
workplace Conflict Management,consulting and training firm.

(00:22):
Today we're talking about one ofthe most underestimated yet
powerful traits in conflictresolution and peace building
humility and why humilityrequires both confidence and
curiosity to be effective.
When we think about resolvingconflict or building peace,
humility isn't always the firstquality that comes to mind.

(00:44):
We might think of communicationskills or negotiation tactics.
Or emotional regulation, buthumility is actually a
foundational trait that makesall of those tools work much
more effectively.
Without humility, our ego takesthe lead, and ego is a terrible
negotiator.

(01:05):
So today we're going to explorewhat humility really means in
peace building, why it's notweakness, and how two SubT
traits, confidence andcuriosity, make it an active,
powerful force for resolvingtensions.
I will share some workplaceexamples along the way, plus
actionable tools that you canstart using immediately.

(01:27):
Humility in peace building isnot about thinking less of
yourself.
It's about thinking beyondyourself.
It's the ability to acknowledgethat your perspective is limited
and that you can learn fromothers even when you disagree.
I remember working with a coupleof department heads at a
manufacturing company, let'scall them Alex and Priya, and

(01:49):
they were locked in this sort ofdispute over budget allocations.
Alex believed his team neededthe funds for a new software
system, and Priya insisted herdepartment staffing shortage was
the higher priority and.
Now if Alex lacked humility, hewould dig in.
He would insist he's right.
Probably frame that whole issueas sort of a win-lose battle.

(02:13):
But I remember Alex being quitehumble and saying something to
the effect of, you know, hebelieves this software is
critical, but he also knows thathe doesn't see the bigger
picture, and he wanted Priya towalk him through the staffing
challenges.
So he was very open-minded abouthim not necessarily being right
or having the priority he wasopen to other perspectives.

(02:37):
And this openness shifts theconversation from positional
defense to more mutualunderstanding.
Being open really requireshumility.
So I'm gonna give you anactionable tool, and I'll call
this the humility Pause.
Before responding in a heatedmoment, ask yourself this

(02:57):
question, what might I not beseeing here?
Even just three seconds of anintentional humility, pause can
open the door to morecollaborative.
Now, here's the counterintuitivepart.
Humility isn't meekness.
It actually requires confidence.
Confident in your worth, in yourskills, in your ability to

(03:21):
contribute without needing towin every interaction.
Without confidence, humility canslide into self-doubt or
passivity.
A confident peace builder canadmit mistakes, can listen
without defensiveness, and stillmaintain their sense of worth.
I was recently working with, awoman named Morgan.

(03:42):
She was a team lead, and shenoticed that she misunderstood a
client request, and thismisunderstanding caused her team
a bunch of extra work.
If she didn't have confidence,she might try to hide the error
or deflect blame, fearing it.
Might damage her reputation as aleader.
But she practiced confidence andI remember her saying something

(04:05):
like, you know, that one's onme.
I misunderstood the request.
Let's find the most efficientway to get this back on track.
She was willing to admit hermistakes and doing this takes
confidence, and it ended upmodeling accountability and it
strengthened trust with herteam, and it actually
deescalated the conflict.

(04:27):
So I wanna give you anotheractionable tool here called the
confidence check statement.
In a conflict, I want you topractice stating, here's what I
know and here's what I'm stilltrying to understand.
So in other words, you statewhat you know, or you state what
you believe, and then you alsostate what you still don't know.
You're still open to learningmore about this signals that

(04:49):
you're secure enough in what youbring to the table, but also
secure enough to show opennessand vulnerability to other
perspectives.
Now if confidence is thefoundation of humility, I would
say curiosity is the engine.
Curiosity drives you to askquestions.
It drives you to seek context.

(05:10):
Um, understand the why behindsomeone's position.
It transforms conflict from abattle of wills into an
opportunity for discovery.
I am gonna give you ahypothetical here.
Imagine an HR manager.
Let's call her Jordan, and she'smediating between these two
employees, Sam and Taylor.

(05:30):
Sam feels Taylor is constantlyundermining him and Taylor
insists Sam's micromanagingeverything instead of jumping
straight to solutions and tryingto just get the conflict solved
as quickly as possible.
Jordan gets curious.
She says, can you each share arecent example, what you felt

(05:51):
during that situation?
Tell me more about yourperspective.
And as they talk, Jordan startsto uncover that the
micromanaging.
Was actually Sam's attempt toprevent errors after a recent
client complaint, something thatTaylor wasn't even aware of.
So this spirit of curiosity ofasking questions of not already

(06:11):
kind of knowing, uh, what to doto solve the problem, but just
listening and hearing more aboutthe problem, it revealed these
underlying needs and helpedclarify what was really going on
instead of just.
Letting these folks flingaccusations back and forth at
each other.
If someone is humble, it's notonly that they're confident
enough to be humble, but also itleads to curiosity.

(06:35):
A humble person, is typicallymore open and nonjudgmental.
And willing to hear or listen orunderstand others' perspectives
more than someone who is more intheir ego.
So actionable tool number three.
I'm gonna call this thecuriosity ladder.
I want you to ask progressivelydeeper questions as you start to

(06:56):
understand a conflict.
What happened?
How did you interpret that?
What was most important to youin that situation?
What would help address thatconcern moving forward?
If it doesn't get fixed, whatmight happen?
Then just asking questions todig deeper and really understand
all the nuances of the actualconflict.

(07:19):
So humility, balanced withconfidence and curiosity.
It really creates a sense ofpsychological safety.
When people see that you're nottrying to dominate the
conversation, they can feel morerespected and heard, and that
lowers defenses and it makesconstructive dialogue much more
possible.
Okay.
One more actionable tool foryou.
The trust buildingacknowledgement.

(07:41):
Whenever someone expresses aconcern, start your reply with,
I hear you.
I can see how that would befrustrating.
Let's figure this out together.
So this is a simple structure.
It communicates respect,ownership, partnership.
It lets the person know that youare hearing them, you understand
they're having an emotional, uh,response to this.
That they're feeling frustratedor angry, and that you're

(08:04):
willing to collaborate on asolution with them.
So here's a quick recap of thetools that we're gonna start
using.
First, the humility, pause, takethree seconds to ask, what might
I not be seeing here?
Then the confidence checkstatement.
Here's what I know and here'swhat I'm still trying to
understand.
Third, the curiosity ladder movefrom facts to feelings to needs,

(08:29):
finally to solutions and forth.
The trust buildingacknowledgement.
I hear you.
I can see how frustrating thatis.
Let's try to figure this outtogether.
These aren't just nice phrases.
They're shifts in mindset.
By combining confidence andcuriosity under the umbrella of
humility, you'll not onlydeescalate conflict, but also

(08:52):
strengthen relationships and.
Create a more resilient,collaborative working
relationship and workplaceculture in general.
Remember, if you wanna solveconflict, stay humble.
That requires you beingconfident and also very curious.
thanks for tuning into PeaceBuilding with Dr.
Pollock.
If this episode helped you andthink it can help others, please

(09:14):
share it.
For ongoing learning and toreally master your workplace
conflict resolution skills,consider joining my Peaceful
Leaders Club Club members, getaccess to exclusive content
coaching with me and my expert,conflict coaches, and my entire
online course library.
You [e-mail]
slash club or click on the linkin the show notes and if your

(09:36):
company needs training orconflict intervention or
mediation.
[e-mail] to
learn more about our services.
Until next time, take care ofyourself and each other.