Resilience and Adaptation: Transforming Life's Challenges into Opportunities with Nina

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
making this happen today and thank you for you know
, having those those briefconversations before we push the
green let go button.
There's a boatload of things totalk about, um, and I'm going
to acknowledge you now, in theevent, that I just talked too
much.
Thank you forcompartmentalizing, making time
to be here today thank you forhaving me.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
me, jonathan, it's a pleasure.
It's a pleasure.
I look forward to getting toknow you better.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Yeah, this is tremendously exciting and
there's so much of you that Iwant to unpack.
I want to lean in with aquestion to you to give our
audience some creative insight.
So share right off the bat,like what's something that's
unique to you, tremendouslyunique to you, that our audience

(00:51):
may or may not know.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
Well, I was an athlete and I worked as in
television and I worked in tech,so I've done a lot of these
things, but on the side, I likedistance cycling because, as
public as I was, I really likedto be just by myself and my
happy places are like on a bikeor on the side.
I like distant cycling because,as public as I was, I really
liked to be just by myself, andmy happy places are like on a
bike or on the beach, all bymyself, making sandcastles.
I'm a little weird.
So that alone time is reallyimportant to me, even though I'm

(01:15):
such a public person.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Well, thank you Right , and I think that's very
important to identify andilluminate right.
There are so many sides of usthat there's buckets to fill.
Right of identifying.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Illuminate right.
There are so many sides of usthat there's buckets to fill
right.
Yeah, and that time figuringout.
It took me a long time tofigure out how I recharge and
what works for me.
It took me a few decades to getthere and now I realize, oh, I
actually need time alone,perfectly fine, by myself, and
that's a really healthy time forme.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Okay, so hang on, hang on.
Let's just pump the brakes herea little bit.
There's so much talk, but I'mgoing to hang out here.
That's an evolutionary processthat occurred for you.
So when you say decades, likethat's a long, what's that
journey Like?
Was something occurring thatsaid holy smokes?
I need to figure stuff out.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
Well, you know, that's my, my whole story.
I speak on resilience and I myresearch is around resilience
and I think I've been on thisplanet for a lot longer than
maybe you or some of yourlisteners have just been around
and done a lot.
Now that I'm in my second halfof my 50s, I feel like you learn
more about yourself and who youare as you age and it changes

(02:18):
what you want out of life,changes what you think success
looks like, changes the peoplein your life kind of cycle in
and out Every seven or eightyears, the research shows.
So I think I've just gotten tothe point in my life where I
know what works for me, and thetimes in which I learn what
works for me are obviously notthe good times.
It's when you go through thetough times is when you figure

(02:39):
out who you are and what worksfor you.

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Okay, and from your experiences, I mean how does
that shift Like what works foryou?
Okay, and from your experiences, I mean how does that shift
Like what works today?

Speaker 2 (02:49):
may not serve well in three, five, seven years from
now.
Right right, I'll continue toevolve and grow.
I'm a big fan of lifetimelearning and continuing to adapt
in a positive way.
So the definitions ofresilience is your ability to
adapt in a positive way towhatever happens in your life,
and it's that adapt piece that'sreally key.
So you hear some people talkabout grit and persistence.
Like you know, go hard, doubledown, make this happen.

(03:12):
I am not a grit and persistencethat's important.
But I believe to have a happy,successful, fulfilling life, you
have to adapt because ourworld's changing so quickly.
Our work is changing, peoplearound us are changing.
We don't live in a static world.
So your ability to adapt in apositive way to whatever happens
in your life or yourenvironment is really key.

(03:33):
And that's where the resiliencecomes from.
And if you unpack my past, so Iwas on the US gymnastics team,
but then I didn't make theOlympics Big down, had to figure
out how to move forward pastthat.
Then I went to college and Iwas a D1 athlete, one of the top
recruits in the nation, andthen I blew out my knee and I
had to figure out who was I.
Without gymnastics I didn'teven know who I was as a human.

(03:54):
It had been my whole life.
And then I figured that out.
Then I got into television.
I love television.
Television was like being in anewsroom, being a journalist.
Telling stories was alwayssomething I loved.
And then, at the top of my gamethere, I got fired.
They went younger and blonder.
And let me go one Friday.
On a Thursday.
I was voted Charleston.
I lived in Charleston, southCarolina.

(04:14):
I was voted Charleston'sfavorite news anchor on a
Thursday and then fired on aFriday.
Just we are releasing you fromyour contract without cause.
Per your contracts, you knowthey just let me go in a big
budget cut.
And then I figured that out andgot going again.
And so I had these series oftimes when I had to really
refigure and rejigger my lifeand figure out how to move
forward.
And I did.

(04:35):
And then I went back to TV.
I did TV for a while longer atanother station.
I had a real traumatic lifeevent that then had me at 37,
even questioning if I wanted togo on.
I was in a really tough spotwith what was going on in my
life.
But then I figured a wayforward and was back on top
again.
I got into tech and worked in atech company for years and we

(04:57):
took that startup public, had ahuge IPO and huge success there,
huge success there.
So my ups and downs.
That piece that I like to talkabout and share is that you know
you can have bad times in yourlife and you figure out who you
are by adapting and growing.
You adapt in a positive way towhatever happens and I am all

(05:17):
about.
You can have a really crappychapter or a really tough time,
but a bad chapter in your lifeis not your whole life.
A bad week doesn't make a badyear.
You know even a bad few yearsdoesn't make a bad chapter in
your life is not your whole life.
A bad week doesn't make a badyear.
You know even a bad few yearsdoesn't make a bad lifetime,
just it, it.
It's okay to not be okay, it'sjust not okay to stay.
That way is one of my favoritephrases.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
You know, I'm just taking a deep breath.
Um, that's quite the resume forthose who you want to check
those boxes.
And I mean I'm, I'm leaned intothe mic and that is not that.
That is simply because I was soenamored with that story.
May I ask a few questions tounderstand more?

Speaker 2 (06:01):
absolutely I.
I'm literally an open book.
I wrote a book on those ups anddowns you know I want to go
back to.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
I'm making assumptions, so please add
clarity where required.
When you talk about gymnastics,I I'm, I'm assuming that
gymnastics is, you know, was hasbeen, it's still, it's
ingrained in a huge part of life, right, right?
And when you say, hey, you'regoing through extensive training
protocols to like these are mywords qualify for Olympics,

(06:31):
right?
So now you're essentially onthe teeter-totter of an Olympian
athlete.
That's no small feat, that'smassive right.

Speaker 2 (06:39):
Yes, I left home at 13, moved into one of the
Olympic training centers at thetime.
I made the US team in the 80sand I traveled all over the
world Japan, hungary, germany.
I was with Mary Lou Retton,that crew back then.
We actually were friends and weroomed together a couple of
places, because my maiden nameis Rofi and it was Rofi and
Retton.
It wasn't because we were likeone or two, we just both had

(07:00):
names that began with R but weknew each other.
But I was on that trajectory onthe cover of magazines as an
Olympic hopeful.
And then, when you don't makeit, at the ripe old age of 16,
you just feel like your life isover, like I wasted my whole
life.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
And.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
I talk up yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Go on.
Sorry, that was an insidethought that came out, but thank
you, holy smokes, go on.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
That was an inside thought that came out.
But thank you, holy smokes, goon.
So, yeah, so your whole life iswasted, right, and you see this
in young people today.
I've have adulting childrenthat kind of went through their
own times of really committingto something and then having it
not work out exactly like theyplanned.
But, uh, when I think about itnow with some perspective and
this is one of the things that II've really spent time looking
back on um, and each big this,what I call in my life, any big

(07:45):
thing you're going through, isyou're this and this is one of
the things that I've reallyspent time looking back on and
each big this, what I call in mylife, any big thing you're
going through, is your this,these are my thises.
It's not on my resume, it's notthe top stuff.
I think the stuff that you gothrough that's not on your
resume actually makes you whoyou are and what you bring to
the table.

(08:05):
But as I went through that atthe ripe old age of 16, you know
then I picked myself up,figured out a path forward, and
then I blew out my knee incollege and when I lost my sport
altogether, not making theOlympics full of shame, guilt,
all the things embarrassed to goback to my high school, like
all the things that you would ifyou didn't.
You know you failed, I thoughtI'd failed and you know you make
the US team but only six girlsactually go to the Olympics.

(08:28):
There's 20 of us on the US andthere's a lot of people vying
for it and it wasn't because Imean, I actually did not do well
that year, but I also wasn't inthe top five or six.
I mean there were reallyincredible athletes ahead of me,
anyway.
But I figured out a pathforward and I went and did
gymnastics in college and thatalso was a big part of me.
But losing my sport was gamechanger for me.

(08:52):
I didn't know who I was withoutgymnastics because I had spent
my whole life in the gym andthat's when I really felt like I
just wasted my life.
Like who was I without thissport?
And it was, if I do the mathnow I'm a little bit of a math
geek If I go back and do themath now when I blew out my knee
at 19, gymnastics was 75% ofwhat I knew in life.

(09:14):
Of those 19 years of my life,most of them had been in a gym.
I hadn't gone to parties orhigh school things or football,
I just lived in the gym.
So most of my life had been inthe gym at 19.

(09:37):
Now I can play it forward, that75% of my life.
I can play it forward and seethat down the road.
Down the road when I turned 50and my kids left for college.
Now I've already donetelevision and I've done tech
and my kids leave.
When I turned 50, at that pointin my life, gymnastics was 28%
of my life.
It was a much smaller percent.
So it felt like everything backthen bigger number.
And by the time I was 50, itwas a smaller number.

(10:00):
And if I live to be 100, whichI need to drink less wine and
take better care of myself, butif I live to be 100, which I
need to drink less wine and takebetter care of myself, but if I
live to be 100, then it'll beabout 15% of my life.
It won't be my whole life, but Ilike to share that because
young people going through bigproblems or tough times, it
feels like everything, likeevery freaking thing is like
that.
But if you play your lifeforward and can literally like

(10:23):
draw a line on a piece of paperfrom zero to 100, with little 10
dots across it so you can seeevery 10 years you could put
whatever you're going through onthat dot, on that line, and
then you can see all this blankspace ahead where there's
nothing yet.
So even on my tough days now Ilook at that blank space ahead.
I'm like, oh, you got all thisblank space ahead.

(10:44):
Who knows what will happen next?
You know.

Speaker 1 (10:47):
One second.
Can we pump the brakes a littlebit here?
I think there's a lot to unpackthere, 13.
So sorry, you mentioned 30, butat 16 years old you feel like a
failure, coming off of the andthat's, you know, a limiting
belief that's up in your head,right Cause the rest of the

(11:08):
world is, is pretty damn proudof you, right, and you're,
you're right.
You're showing up like you know, the Nina that everybody wants
to embrace, and and what's itlike?
What's the?
Can you recall what I want to?
I'm purposefully leading in thisdiscussion because I think that
there's a lot of young athletesout there, some of which I'm

(11:31):
very familiar with.
Look, I had the, I had the.
I've had the pleasure.
We have small children uh,christian's 11 and Cassandra's
eight, um, but you know, I'vehad the pleasure of being around
.
But you know, I've had thepleasure of being around youth
athletes and 16, anyway, from 8to 18.
The last several years has beenaround 16, 17, 18 year olds.

(11:51):
And you know, what you don'tknow is what you don't know
until you do, when you stepinside changes and you find out
that at 16, 17, 18 years old,we've had people who have
overdosed on drugs.
People have attempted suicideand survived, people who have
run away from home, people whohave no relations with parents
that optically, all of thisstuff seems like the checks and

(12:12):
balances are there.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
So now I want to come back to you and thank you for
sharing this so vulnerably.
But coming back to a16-year-old athlete, what's it
like to live through that?
Well, I can remember.
I remember specifically I meanI I talk about this in my, in my
first book.
I remember not.
I mean I bombed a bar routinein the one of the qualifiers, so
I was out, um, and so I knew itwas not gonna happen.
Uh, and so I was remember beinglike my.
My coach drove a red porsche, Iremember, and so we drove home

(12:45):
and I crawled in the back of it.
There's not really a seat muchback there, but I was too
ashamed to even sit next to himand we had to drive back and the
meet was like eight hours away.
It was in Roanoke, virginia, Iremember it specifically, and we
were driving back to the DCarea and so I'm in the back of
this car just in a fetalposition, just trying not to,
you know, make noise or cry outloud or anything.

(13:07):
I just felt like I had ruinedeverything for me.
My family had given up so muchfor me to move away from home.
My coach had put so much intome, like he had had other
athletes make the Olympicsbefore, so now.
It was his chance to go backagain.
He didn't have that chance.
You just feel like you leteverybody down and then by the

(13:28):
time the next day comes, I haveto get up and go to school,
right, and I have to walk downthe halls of my high school
where they've been hearing likehey, everybody watch Nina on
World of Sports.
This weekend She'll becompeting in Japan.
Like, so it was like such.
And who wants that Like first?
No high school kid wants themmaking that announcement.
But my friends lived throughall that.

(13:51):
So I thought that that's howeverybody saw me and I was just
so ashamed to go back and nothave made it and that shame and
blame and just sunk in heavy.
It was years later.
I was inducted into the Hall ofFame at my high school, 20
years after high school, and Iwent back and some of the people

(14:11):
and there's a plaque on thewall with my name on it and
stuff and I thought I justthought, thought of myself as
such a failure.
But the people around me andthe things they said, they're
like we loved, we were so proudto even know you and we loved
having you in our school andlike, but at the time, all I
felt like I just couldn't waitfor high school to be over and
get the hell out of there.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
So what happens next?
From a support Like you'rementally defeated, right, how do
you get through that?
What do you do next?

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Well, nowadays there's all sorts of support
systems.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
Right, but at that time.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
There wasn't a whole lot.
I had a couple of good friends.
One of them is still really agood friend of mine to this day.
I happen to have a friend whois one of the kindest humans on
the planet.
She ended up spending 30 yearsworking in hospice after college
and I just it's a reallyspecial person who can do that,
so happened to be one of mydearest friends and she was

(15:01):
always there for me and kind.
And then I had, you know, myparents were both busy and they
I think they said the rightthings and but then it was all
about I.
You know, I was the youngest offour kids.
I had to get a scholar, acollege scholarship.
I couldn't just quit, I justdidn't even want to go back to
the gym, but they pushed me tokeep going and they're like

(15:24):
you've put so much into this,you can go and get a full ride
to college now, because we can'tafford to send you.
So it became, you know, theyhelped me switch my focus to the
next thing and then a fewfriends around me helped me look
at who I was, like I was stilltheir friend and they would say
the right things.
I think I was kids.
And then, oh, and then I got myfirst boyfriend after that too,

(15:45):
because I'd never really dated.
Sure, of course so yeah, so thatwas really reaffirming.
And you know it's a high schoolI guess I was.
It was going into my senioryear, so that became a thing.
They sent me to the USgymnastics team at the time,
sent me to Australia to promotethe games, like come to America.
That was 84 when the Olympicswere in the USA in LA, and so

(16:07):
they sent me to Australia forseven weeks to promote the games
and come to America and tocompete and do exhibition stuff
with the Australian team allover.
That was a wonderfuldistraction for that summer
while leading up to the games.
So I had other things going on.
So the answer to your questionis not one specific thing.

(16:28):
I think the ways in which I gotthrough it was a handful of
good friends, parents.
That redirected my focusbecause I had some work to do.
I had to get that collegescholarship and three.
The US Gymnastics Federation,usgf back then did take, you
know, give us other things towork on towards still
representing our nation anddoing some things, which was, I

(16:49):
think, reaffirming sure, so whatdo you learn?

Speaker 1 (16:51):
what do you share with you know the 16, 17 year
olds that are going throughsomething like that today.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
The concept that when it feels like everything, it's
really hard to see what a big,amazing world you can have I
mean life you can have afterthat.
But especially when someone'sreally good at something.
This is what I told my son.
My son blew out his elbow.
It was high school year ofbaseball and all the D1 schools

(17:20):
pulled scholarships.
And I told him and I say thesame thing to young people all
the time choose something elseto go be great at.
There's so much out there.
Now you get to do somethingdifferent, like choose something
else.
That may take some time, butyou're going to find something
else that you want to be greatat.
It's just going to.
And just because you lose yoursport or because you have a big
failure, life is so full of somany amazing opportunities you

(17:42):
have no idea what your future isgoing to look like, and it's
really hard to see it whenyou're in it.
And that's why I go back toit's okay to not be okay, but
it's not okay to stay that wayand no one's coming to save you.
That's the big thing, right?

Speaker 1 (17:55):
Like you know, I teeter with stoicism a little
bit.
Right, and I read something Ithink it was Marcus Aurelius,
you know, like blow your ownnose or something to that regard
.
We're like, in other words,nobody's coming to save you.
What he's saying is nobody'sgoing to come and wipe your nose
or wipe your tears.
You know, interpret it how youwish, except that always coming

(18:19):
to knock on your door and say,here, here's your golden ticket
and and your free ride, like Imean, you've demonstrated that
you, you worked your butt off toget where you got, you failed
at it.
Right in your eyes, you feelmiserably in your eyes, not in
the eyes of the world.
Right, right in my own.
You, you, you pivot, you excelat college to a certain level
and then you think game overagain.
How much longer can I deal withthis?
Right and like, again, there'sebbs and flows and it's not okay

(18:42):
to wallow in our sorrows.
I mean, you want to.
It's cool to be down there.
It's not hanging out there,right?
What was it?
Tell me again.
You've said it twice, but whatis it you say?

Speaker 2 (18:53):
It's okay to not be okay.
It's just not okay to stay thatway.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
It's not okay to stay that way.

Speaker 2 (18:58):
Yeah, we all have the lows.
You actually learn a lot inthose lows and the people who've
gone through some real lowswill tell you that's what made
them as strong as they aretaught them the most when
they're going through toughtimes.
I like to be able to share withyoung people my failures
because they can look at me andgo, oh my gosh.
I mean, if you just look at melike USA gymnast Emmy award

(19:31):
winning news anchor, took acompany public and made lots of
money in an IPO and an author ofa book like that is just my
above the line resume stuff.
Really important things in mylife that created the me that
was able to have those successeswere the gymnast who didn't
make the team and the one whoblew out her knee, and then the
young reporter who did sometough stories and then, as an
anchor, got fired and then adivorce and a traumatic
experience and like all thosethings.
Those are what made me who Iwas.

(19:53):
It's not the resume stuff andeverybody's has that.
You have these ups and downs, Icall it, and every time you get
back up over that line, ifyou're drawing a line of like
status quo, every time you getback up over that line.
You know, out of the dregs, thedown lows, then you're stronger
and you just life is full ofthose.

(20:14):
It it's ups and downs.
You can draw it on your owntimeline and you can see the ups
and downs if you mark them onthat timeline.
I was up and then I was down.
I was up and then I was down.
Sometimes, you know, and ifyou're trying to do anything in
life, especially if you're anathlete or a musician or you
start a podcast or you start anew business, like you're aiming
I set a goal out there it'snever going to be flatline easy.

(20:38):
I mean it's not just going tobe status quo because you're
trying to do something hard soyou're going to drop the line on
the days it doesn't work.
You're going to be up when thedays it does work.
But we're not flatline people.
If you're listening to thispodcast, If you've set a goal or
you're trying to do something,you're just not okay with the
status quo.
You're not okay to just go alongand what I call flatline If you

(21:01):
look at it like an EKG.
We're not flatline people.
If you want more, there's goingto be highs and lows and it's
just managing those highs andlows and watching your language.
I have a framework and I'm biginto stoicism.
I'm glad you mentioned thatHuge Marcus Aurelius fan.
Wear him on my wrist, but I do.
I have a four-part framework.
That's some stoicism, and youknow cognitive behavior therapy

(21:23):
and other neuroscience and bigdata that I've done my own
mashup to help people keepmoving forward because you know
no one's coming.
It's up to you to make whateveryou want to out of your life.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Okay, hang on, you know you're, you're, you're not
dropping the climax of the storyand then not unpacking it.
What are those four?
I want to know those fourthings.

Speaker 2 (21:45):
Okay, so I call it my this framework.
So, whatever you're goingthrough, is this like you're,
this my, this is where my fivebig ones.
But whatever you're goingthrough, this thing that you
wake up going holy crap, I gotto deal with this.
You know what's going on inyour life.
Maybe you've been, you knowyou've had a death in the family
or an addiction or something.
Yeah, big stuff, and even thelittle stuff.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
You bombed a class or yeah, you know, can we just
pull the handbrake for a momentin time?
I think that's worthrecognizing too, because even
the little stuff right, becauseyou and I as human beings, as
we've evolved through life mightseem as smaller deal items to
somebody else, that's theirworld.

Speaker 2 (22:24):
Oh, you bomb a class or you get drunk at a party and
make a total fool of yourself.
Like those things happen inyoung people's lives and they
just feel like their life isover, like they've ruined
everything.

Speaker 1 (22:33):
Yeah, so okay.
So now I want to come back.
So what now, like go on.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
So there's the my, that's your this, whatever
you're doing with, and so I putit.
I run it through a four partframework and it has that
timeline in it, so I call it myfour tips.

Speaker 1 (22:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:50):
That's no one you know, no one wants to remember
difficult acronyms.
So TIPS is my acronym.
People are always asking me forTIPS and it's put it in your
timeline.
Isolate it, pull in the rightpeople and craft your story.
So the timeline piece I shareda bit.
That's taking whatever it isthis is and putting it on where

(23:11):
you are in your lifetimetimeline, that 0 to 100.
Like putting a dot on a pieceof paper where it is.

Speaker 1 (23:18):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
And that's that timeline piece and that's a
lesson in perspective.
It lets you see all the blankpages Hang on question for you.

Speaker 1 (23:28):
So let's just vividly unpack this for the audience
out there.
If we're starting with timelineand we say, you know, okay,
jonathan, today at 42, right,today, you're 42.
Here's the timeline before thatright Are you talking about?
Like literally, folks startacknowledging some of the

(23:48):
accomplishments.
That's what's going through mymind.
So I want to ask that questionfor clarity Is that what you
mean by that?

Speaker 2 (23:53):
That's part of it.
I call it building your reverseresume.
So you draw the timeline andyou put your dot on there and
then you can see everything thatled up to this moment
beforehand places you've lived,people you've been around,
accomplishments or achievementsyou've had above the line, and
then down below you can put likegot through, this, dealt with
this like and you can see thisup and down, so's everything

(24:14):
coming up to them.
And then part of this timelinethinking, where the stoicism
comes into the timeline isthere's this.
You know this concept.
Now you have a line drawn withsome ups and downs.
You're not the stab, you're notthe flatline person and you can
see right where you are and youcan see that everything ahead
is blank.
If it was, if you're writingthe story of your life, if it's,
if you can see that everythingahead is blank, if you're

(24:35):
writing the story of your life,if you're writing that book,
it's your book.
What does it look like?
What color is the cover?
How thick is it?
Is it a hardback or a paperback?
The book of your life, I mean,is it a comic book?
Maybe you're a little quirky,like, what is the book of your
life?
Look like, sure, what's thefont on the front?
What's the font on the front?
It says your name on it.
You got to figure out the font.
Like what does your life looklike?

(24:56):
You can actually open that bookto today, like today, and this
is kind of cool because you andI are having like this weird
crossover moment, like whenSupergirl shows up on the Flash
and you're like what?
But we have this like moment,but today you're on a page.
Okay, everything you've done isfilling the pages beforehand.
And today you're on a page andall the pages ahead are blank

(25:20):
and you have more control overwhat goes into those pages than
anybody else Not your spouse,not your boss, not your parents,
not the president it's you.
You will decide what goes intothose pages ahead and that's the
timeline thinking Right there.
And then the next part isisolate.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
I want to thank you for allowing me to.
I just want to thank you forthat Cause, as you're talking
about that, I'm like you know,how cool is it to actually I'm a
visual person to actuallycreate that Like, actually maybe
a picture.
I'm even thinking, you know,sit there with I love children,
so it's even today where theycan say, look, kiddo, you're 10
years old.

(25:56):
What's the first 10 years ofyour life?
Look like Cool.
And then by the end of it, bythe way, I'm reaching for a book
of friends.
See what this is?
It's a bunch of blank pages.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
What the hell is that supposed to?

Speaker 1 (26:08):
mean?
What do you want it to mean?
That's the whole point, folks.
It means whatever it is youwant it to mean, because life is
empty and meaningless exceptfor the stories we attach to
those meanings.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Yeah, you're going to put whatever you want in there.

Speaker 1 (26:21):
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (26:22):
It's a children's book with beautiful
illustrations.
What does the book of your lifelook like If you shut your eyes
and you spend a minute reallythinking about it?
It's a cool concept to thinkall the pages ahead are blank.
I just love that.
And on my bad days because weall have bad days I don't have
everything figured out I willthink about all the blank pages
ahead and I will think about allthat blank space on my timeline

(26:44):
.
You know, give myself somegrace to have a crappy day and
go.
A bad day does not make a badweek.
You know, bad week doesn't makea bad life.
I'm just having a crappy moment.
I don't have a moment.

Speaker 1 (26:51):
I'll sit in a minute, just having a crappy moment I
don't have a moment, let me sitin a minute Right and you're
checking in with yourselfmentally, physically,
spiritually, saying what does mybody need right now?

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Right now.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
Thank you.
I'm derailing this because I'mso intrigued, enamored, so
isolate.
We went from T timeline.
I is isolate.
Tell me why.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
Okay, so picture, since you're visual, I'm going
to do it visually for you.
That's my favorite way to do ittoo.
So you have your timeline drawn, your line, across your piece
of paper.
Okay, now draw a line straightup and down before it and after
it, like everything thathappened before and everything.
You're isolating this dot onyour line, all right, Okay.
And that's the isolate part.

(27:36):
And this is where you only havea certain place where you can
take action.
If you spend a lot of time inyour mental energy and your,
your stress level and all ofthat, if you spend a lot of time
in your head in the, everythingthat led up to this, the before
, the woulda, shoulda, coulda,shouldn't have married, that guy
, should, would, should havetaken this course, shouldn't
have hung out with those people.

(27:57):
Like any good therapist willtell you, if you're thinking
about the before all the time,that's where depression lives.
And then if you're thinking allyour time on the other side of
that line, on the other side ofthat line in the future, the
what ifs and the doomsdayscenarios and that future part,
that's where anxiety lives.
So you know, depression liveswhen your thoughts are in the

(28:19):
past and anxiety lives when yourthoughts are in the future.
Have this isolated moment righthere where the magic can happen
.
And the isolated piece is whatcan you actually take action on?
And what I tell people is Iusually show a picture of a
glass and say is this glass halffull or half empty?
And what would you say if Ishowed you a glass half full or

(28:42):
half empty?

Speaker 1 (28:43):
Half full for me.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
Yeah, because you're a half full guy, I'm a half full
person too.
However, it is not.
It is a six ounce glass withthree ounces of water.
It just is, but withoutprojecting our own wants or
emotions or psyche onto it.
The isolated is just like whatexactly are we dealing with
Without all of the you know ourown thoughts and strategizing

(29:07):
and stuff in our heads?
So that's when, what are weactually dealing with in this
moment?
And I can do that and like whenI didn't make the team let's
use that as an example.
So I was saying I was a failure.
That's the you know woulda,shoulda, couldas, and the
future's bleak, and I'm gonna be, yeah, but in that moment I was

(29:28):
a really talented athlete whohad a whole you know so many
options in front of myself andcould go do anything I want.
I had all this free time I had.
Like it really changes you tolike, what am I actually dealing
with right now?
I'm still the same person I was.
I still have the same talents Ihad.
I could go do all thesedifferent things.
So that's the isolate piecethat's really key for people who

(29:48):
are working through it, so itgrounds you.

Speaker 1 (29:50):
It grounds you in the present moment is what it does.

Speaker 2 (29:56):
Yeah, yeah, oh beautiful.
Thank moment is what it does.
Yeah, yeah, oh beautiful, thankyou.
So now we can see that on ourtimeline.
We got the lines drawn, yeah,and then the next part is the p
and tips.
Yep, um, and that's people.
So I draw a circle around yourdot.
That's on there, um, draw acircle around it and then figure
out who's in this with you.
Uh, because when we go throughsomething, we feel really alone
even if you're you know, sayyou're in a car car accident,

(30:19):
it's taken up all your head andmaybe you're injured.
You have to car fix, whateverit is that you're going through.
I use the example of someonegetting drunk at a party and
making a fool of themselvesbecause I counseled young people
through that before becausethey just feel like college is,
they're embarrassed, they havethe shame, the blame and all of

(30:39):
that.
They made a mistake.
But if you look at the piece soyou draw a circle around, when
things like that happen it's allin your head.
You just feel like it'severything and you're in it all
alone.
So the people piece is look atall your people, make the list
of the people who's helping andwho's hurting in your situation
that you're in and who's missing, and pull in.
Is it a therapist?
Is it a who do you need in yourlife to help you move forward

(31:01):
out of this?
And it might be who needs toget out of your circle for you
to be able to move forward outof this.
But editing your people,because you're the main
character in your story.
I always like to share this too, and you have kids.
You shared, you have two, so Ihate to shock you here, jonathan

(31:24):
, but you are not the maincharacter in their story.
They are writing their ownstory, but you are a character
in their story, and how wouldthey describe you?
Right?
So this people piece is who'shelping and hurting in your own
world?
And then the people.
You are a character andeverybody else's your spouses,
your best friends, bosses,people you work with you're a

(31:50):
character in everybody's storyaround you.
They're writing their own books.
What words would they use todescribe you?
Who are you know?
How are you showing up forothers?
Are you the good guy?
Are you the bad guy?
Are you the villain?
Let's not.
Let's try not to be that.
So that's the key.

Speaker 1 (32:02):
I love this.
Can we hang out in this spacefor a moment in time?

Speaker 2 (32:04):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I think that there's two things, because I this is
real right, I don't make stuffup or share anything that I
haven't already explored.
So when you talk about that,saying yeah, and you know, for
some folks out there it might bea two by four to the head, like
you're not the main characterin this person's world, because
so many times things happen, howcould this person, how could

(32:25):
this person do that?
Newsflash folks, you know whatreality reality is, the filters
in life through which they'reseeing life as it's occurring to
them right it's not the waythat you see it right, but we
live in a I.
This is challenging, so I'mgonna say it anyways.
You know, sometimes we live ina soft society where we think
like problems are our problems.
I'm like holy smokes, we haveno idea.

(32:46):
I'm pivoting here.
What I'm.
What I'm going is is when youtalk about children I thank you
for picking that up andlistening a great listener Not
the main character in ourchildren's lives.
And you know what?
How I think I fit into theirlives is dramatically different
than how they think I fit intotheir lives.
And the only way I know is Iask these questions.

(33:06):
This is real, you know.
You ask how do you describe dadto somebody else?
What do you?
You just you have to ask thesequestions.
So thank you for identifyingthat I I'm.
I'm stealing the energy for amoment.
I want to pivot back because Iwant to throw this out there for
the folks who heard what you'retalking about.
When you're talking aboutpeople and drawing the circle,

(33:27):
and I love that what do we sayto the folks out there who are
really in a headspace where,like well, damn it, nina,
jonathan, I don't know.
I don't know who I need in mylife or who I need to get out of
my life.
So what Now?
What?

Speaker 2 (33:42):
Yeah Well, I think you can write down the people in
your life on a piece of paper.
You do know, you just haven'tdone the work, but you can write
down the people in your lifewho are important to you, or in
your world when somethinghappens, and either put them in
the column of helping or thecolumn of hurting, and there's
no in between.

(34:02):
They're either good for you inthis situation or they're not
good for you in the situation.
So I guess if they're not evena part of it, then they can stay
in the good column if they'renot hurting you.
But you look at that and yousee who's in your world and then
part of the moving forwardprocess is and you can ask
anyone who is an elite athletethey have coaches, other

(34:25):
executives.
They call each other Like whenthe pandemic hit, all the CEOs
were calling each other goinghow are you going to get through
this?
You've got people withtherapists, people who have big
success.
Don't go it alone.
So if you're in that, space.

Speaker 1 (34:38):
Thank you for saying that, holy smokes 100% and the
research shows it.

Speaker 2 (34:44):
So if you draw that circle and you feel, even with
your list, that you're in italone, then that's when you
realize you can't stay alone.
You've either got to choose oneof those people who's helping
and really let them in.
People want to help you.
We push them away.
I am not good at accepting help.
I have pushed away so manypeople who've tried to help me
in my life I just thought Icould do it on my own.

(35:05):
A lot of us do that.
But when you go throughsomething big or if you're stuck
, if you're stuck and you've putit on the timeline, you isolate
and you get to this people part.
Maybe this is the piece that'smissing to move forward.
Maybe you just need to find andit could be the people in your
life.
I'm big and I'm pro therapy, andnow, with the online therapy, I
think it's more affordable foreverybody and I'm a big fan of

(35:27):
if you've never tried therapy,if you're thinking about it,
folks.
And I'm a big fan of if you'venever tried therapy, if you're
thinking about it, folks.
Therapy is like dating.
Like if you go to a therapistand you don't like them, do not
go back for a second date, likethere's no reason to go back.
There's a lot of different waysin which we interact with each
other and therapists havedifferent ways in which to
interact with you.
I have gone to one time to atherapist, like multiple people

(35:48):
where I've gone yeah, you arenot my person.
This is not going to work.

Speaker 1 (35:54):
And take that philosophy in everything in life
right Folks, try things.
I'm with you.
I'm a strong believer and Ialways go to sport, and so I
love that we can relate in sporthere.
Every great athlete at the topnever got there by themselves.
There's a boatload of coachesand it doesn't mean this is the
coach for you.
This means this might be thecoach for you for this season,

(36:15):
for this flavor, or maybe not,and that's okay too.
See, everything has anexperience.
So it's same thing withtherapists like this may or may
not be the right person forright now, maybe in the future.
I'm a listen, I.
I, you're talking to the rightguy, I.
I have a boatload of coaches inso many different realms of
life, because it's not like onecoach can help me holistically.

(36:35):
No, this one coach helps here,this one coach helps here, this
person helps here.
So this is what we're talkingabout.
So thank you for identifyingthat.
Is that the conclusion of P, oris there more for P?

Speaker 2 (36:49):
That's it for the people, and I have other stories
and things that I share, butthe idea of the people is that
one who's helping and hurtingand two don't go it alone and
other people are.
You're not the main characterin other people's stories, which
is huge.
You do have to see how you'reshowing up for other people too.
That's part of what you're.
Your happiness and success istied into how you interact with

(37:12):
other humans.
You won't be happy andsuccessful all by yourself.
It just doesn't work.
There's plenty of reallywealthy people with plenty of
trophies on their shelves whoare really unhappy because they
don't have humans around themLike we need that.

Speaker 1 (37:27):
Listen, our entire existence has been around human
beings.
That's why food and drink tiesus all together.
Because we're a societalculture, we're designed
genetically to be around people.
Anyway, listen, pivot to S thestory.
The story is S right.

Speaker 2 (37:44):
Yes.
So S is story and tip.
So we've put on the timeline.
If you look at your piece ofpaper now, you've got a line
across it.
You've isolated, with linesgoing up and down, going nothing
before, nothing after.
What am I dealing with, drew?
A circle around it.
Who do I need to pull in mypeople in there with me so I'm
not alone?
And then the last part is youwrite this is, and you put a and
you have to.
What is this?
It's the language in our headthat we use.

(38:05):
So we have to work on this,because a lot of us use very
self-sabotaging language, myselfincluded, and we can
overgeneralize this alwayshappens to me or catastrophize
Everything's ruined.
This is never going to work.
That language in our head comesout of our mouth and becomes our
story.
So the thoughts in your headcome out of your mouth and

(38:26):
becomes your story.
So this last part's all aboutediting in your head and getting
yourself to a better place.
The other piece ofself-sabotage is jumping to
conclusions.
They didn't text me back, sothey must think I'm an idiot.
Or they didn't respond to myemails and they must think it's
a horrible idea.
They're busy running their ownlives.
It's nothing to do with you.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
You're not the main character folks.

Speaker 2 (38:47):
No, no or exaggerating.
That's another way weself-sabotage.
I've got five million things todo and I've got 50 loads of
laundry.
I always say that, sometimesfrom the stage with thousands of
people, like, has anyoneactually done 50 loads of
laundry?
Like, no, we got to watch thelanguage in our head comes out
of our mouth.
Because if you live in theworld where, every day, you've

(39:08):
got 50 loads of laundry and amillion things to do, that's the
world you live in, right,that's your reality.
When, in actuality, you've gota to-do list with a handful of
things that have to get donethat day and you could or could
not do laundry, I'm sure youcould, you know, get by another
day without it.
Like it's the world you chooseto live in.
So that's the piece.
And the last piece of theself-sabotage is the belabor

(39:29):
piece, where it's, you know, wekeep going back.
That's going back where I wishif so-and-so had just done their
part, or I wish we had donethings differently.
So how I'll explain this.
Sometimes, if say you and I, youknow we're, we come home from
work and our kids are around,okay, so you walk in the door
and your kids are there, or I'lldo me, so I walk in the door
and your kids are there or I'lldo me.
So I walk in the door and saymy kids are little and I've had

(39:52):
a really crappy day.
And my kids can tell, andthey're like Mommy, what's wrong
.
And this would be when theywere young.
You know what's wrong and Iwould.
So the very self-sabotaging Nina, like the Nina, if I said
things in my head I'd go well,you know, today was a crappy day
and I'm an idiot and I workwith a bunch of idiots and we

(40:14):
bomb this thing and it's nevergoing to work and I'll probably
get fired, we're probably goingto have to cancel Christmas.
Like that's the thoughts in myhead as I'm driving home, like
all the bad things.
When, in reality, when it's achild, we say things like oh
well, mommy's just a littlegrumpy, but she's smart and she
works with smart people andwe're going to figure it out.
It's not like we're going tohave to cancel Christmas or
anything.
So it's switching our languageto be kinder in the way in which

(40:38):
we think.
Again, thoughts in our head andwhat comes out of our mouths,
because that becomes your storyIf you're the person who's
walking around going I hate thistown.
My friends are jerks,everything's ruined, but that's
who you are.
You live in that world and noone wants to be around that guy,
so you got to edit your ownlanguage, yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:58):
I love that, right, that's the story part.
Well, you know, and thelanguage we use shapes our
reality, yeah, right, so it'slike if we walk around and say I
can't believe I'm an idiot,then subconsciously you're
already throwing that out to theuniverse, right?
It's already coming back to youto say well, you're an idiot.
Well, no, I had a less thandesirable moment, or I made a

(41:19):
mistake.
Actually, I'm ratherintelligent and just made a poor
decision for a moment in time,and then, all of a sudden,
things shift right.

Speaker 2 (41:25):
Right.
But we have to think that wayor otherwise.
Otherwise, people that you sayI'm an idiot, they're like oh,
that's that guy.
He calls himself an idiot.
Like that is the.
You're creating that story foryourself.
That is, you're creating yourown reality with that.
Yeah okay.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
So I I'm curious now right well, your sign just fell,
that's a, it did.
That was bizarre, um so in hereso we we touched on stoicism,
and you know, I know, thatthere's a little bit of
neuroscience tied into that.
Um as well, unpack that likewhere does stoicism,
neuroscience, where does thatplay a role in your life?

(41:58):
How does it play a role in yourlife?

Speaker 2 (42:00):
well, that's part all of that.
Uh, it's kind of wrapped up andoverlaps in all four of these
steps.
So, um, if you think about likestress and stress response,
like the neuroscience of likehow our body reacts to stress,
so that's the instant thought ofeverything's ruined.
It's that cortisol.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
And it's that oh, everything's.
You know this isn't going towork.
That's that adrenaline, that'sour heart rate and that's
unhealthy.
Or when somebody says somethingand we, you know, sort of
halfway listening, and then allof a sudden they say something
that is going to affect us, wehave that surge of
norepinephrine that's superfocused, like wait, wait, what
are we doing here?
So all the time those stressresponses are going on in our

(42:40):
bodies.
By any time something changes.
You know, if we have a plan forthe day and we walk in and
someone's like, hey, can youhelp with this, can you do that?
Oh, your kid's school calls inthe middle of a big meeting,
like all of that, if thingsdon't go exactly as planned,
that cortisol, that adrenaline,that like all of it is going all
the time.
So that's the neuroscience, thepieces of that for us.
And then you know the cognitivebehavior therapy replacing good

(43:03):
thoughts with bad thoughts.
That's a little bit, a littlebit of self-sabotage in that
language.
You know, how do we get throughour, how do we train our brains
?
You know, with cognitivebehavior therapy, how do we
train our brains to be a littlekinder to ourselves?
That's replacing bad thoughtswith good thoughts, and that's
where that fits in.
So those fit in both in thetimeline, also in the isolation

(43:25):
piece, how our body responds tothe past and the future, and
then obviously the stoicism, andmaybe a little.
Ancient Chinese philosopher,lao Tzu is the one who said when
you're living in the past youare depressed, when you're
living in the future you'reanxious, and the only place to

(43:45):
find peace is in the present.
You know so, and that's beensaid a lot of different ways.
You know it's fun to do when wetalk about I talk a lot about.
I don't go into the science ofthe overlap, because most people
just want the solutions.

Speaker 1 (43:57):
They want the nuggets yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:59):
Yeah, so I hand them the solutions.
But what's kind of fun is and Ido this sometimes I'll take a
phrase and I'll go just ancientChinese philosopher, and then a
Greek philosopher, and thenyou'll find Emerson said it
another way, and then Dr Seusssaid it another way, so you can
see it play out in all thedifferent ways.
I'm not saying anything that'snew, no, I'm just trying to

(44:22):
share things in stories andoverlapping concepts so people
can hear it.
Someone may hear me saysomething that lands with them
in a way that it hasn't landedwith others, and they may be
able to hear it from me and in adifferent way than they would
hear it from you or from someonewho was more like them,
depending on where they'recoming, you know what age they

(44:42):
are, race or gender.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
Well, it's the evolution of things too, right,
I mean, we know, we know, but wealso we've learned a lot and I
love what you say, because thathappens so frequently is that
you know, listen, folks, thinkto your own lives is how many
times do you hear people saysomething and then, all of a
sudden, one person says and itlands, and it sticks like oh
yeah, nina said this, so I'mgoing to go.
Well, yeah, but you've had Markand Jim tell you this for for

(45:05):
for two decades.
It just happened.
Life's about timing.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
Oh yeah, I can go back and pick up a book.
That's why I reread books.
I have a handful of books on mybookshelf that I will pick up
and reread and I'll read it.
Totally different, a verydifferent experience with the
book five years later than I did, cause I'm a different.
I'm different.
You can't, you can't unseethings, you can't unlearn things
like now it's in your head andfor all of you listening.

(45:31):
Now I'm in your head.
I'm like planting little seeds.

Speaker 1 (45:33):
Yeah, and so hang on.
You mean you talk about books.
What are the top three booksthat are on repeat for you?

Speaker 2 (45:38):
Oh gosh, I don't think I have a top three.
That's a good question.
I always like I've got lots ofbooks in Sto Marcus Aurelius.
That's always right up there.
There's a book when I'm tryingto do something big or or create
something business wise or froman entrepreneurial perspective.
There's a book called PlayBigger about cat, about category

(46:00):
creation that I like and youknow, and the old crossing the
chasm and inside the tornadowhen you're thinking about
technology and stuff.
Those were like.
I probably read those books 10times in my business brain.
And then I have.
I have some children's books,zen shorts.
If you never, if you don't havethat children's book with the

(46:21):
panda, zen shorts, I have all ofthose and I can grown me in my
50s and my kids are all grownand gone.
Those are on my shelf in myoffice and those are I go to on
a day where I'm feeling a littlelost or trying to figure out
exactly what I'm trying to do inthe world.
Those are go-tos too.
So I don't know if I have a topthree.
I'd have to really dig andthink of it.

(46:44):
Yeah, there's one that's on mybedside and I can't think of the
name of it, but it is like adaily reflections book.
I can't think of the name of it, but it is uh like a daily
reflections book.
I can't remember who wrote it,uh, but it's a really good one.
It's not religious, it's justdaily reflections in general is
it like on stoicism?
Yeah, yeah but it's not RyanHoliday.
I don't remember which one itis um, okay, cool, thank you,

(47:07):
thank you.

Speaker 1 (47:07):
so you've unpacked a boatload of stuff of who you are
today and how Nina shows up tothe world today, and there's a
lot of dark moments and graymoments and light moments along
the way.
I want to touch on somethingthat you know you were so
vulnerable and share before wepush the green light go button,

(47:28):
which was you know, there was adark, dark period of time of
time in your life where you knowyou were having some real
uncomfortable thoughts withyourself, sort of, and maybe,
maybe and I'm not sure if I'mparaphrasing or not, so I'll let
you unpack it.
You know, when you start tosort of second guess even the
purpose of life, take, take ouraudience to there, because I
think that that's important todemonstrate who you all the

(47:49):
stuff you went through, becauseon the resume you checked all
the boxes but who the hell areyou as a human being and talk
about some of the uncomfortablestuff too.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
Well, at the time I was a news anchor very popular
news anchor in my town, and Iwas involved in an accident and
I went from reporting theheadlines to being the headline
and it was no fault of mine.
But I was wrapped up and curledinto this horrible story that

(48:19):
everybody was focused on and Idon't want to relive it here.
I talk about it in my book butit can be very triggery so I
don't want to share it openly ona source like this.
But in that days and weeks andmonths following this accident,
when we didn't know if everybodywas, you know how it was going
to all hash out in the end, andI was just caught up in the

(48:40):
scene of it I just didn't wantto be part of that world.
You know, I didn't want this tobe part of my story.
This wasn't who I was.
I was everybody's favorite newsanchor and this lead athlete
and stuff.
I wasn't a person who wascaught up in this mess.
So I didn't want to be.
I just if the story of my life,the book of my life, this is a

(49:02):
chapter I did not want.
I didn't want to be labeledwith this.
I didn't want to be a part ofthis, this like I was happened
to be there at the time and Iwas now part of this world and I
just couldn't find a placewhere it would land and I'd be
okay with it and I couldn'timagine me being me in the
future with this as part of me.
So it was.
It was like a few weeks laterwhen I had to go back on the air

(49:23):
, took a few weeks off of beingon tv and I remember standing
there with a razor in my hand,staring in the mirror, thinking
if I just slice up face, theywon't think I'm pretty and they
won't want me to do TV again.
And then I thought, or I couldjust be done.
Like I've already done a lot.
I've already been a world classathlete and I've already had

(49:44):
kids and been on TV.
I'm like, can I just be done?
And I just was reallyquestioning why stick around?
It was all too much.
I just had cried as more as Icould cry, I was numb from all
the pain and I just thought Ijust don't want to keep going.
And I now I mean, thankgoodness at the time I had a
good therapist, I had some goodpeople around me.

(50:04):
That's the people piece and Inow can see I did all of these
things.
I had someone help me.
Look at my life.
You have all these years aheadof you.
My kids were tiny back then.
Now they're.
My youngest is 25.
And she lives in New York.
She's actually flying hometonight.
I can't wait to see her.
But and the other one's 27 andhe is in med school and one's in

(50:25):
the Air Force Like they'readulting and doing amazing
things.
I wouldn't have been around forany of that.
I get to think about it now.
It's heartbreaking to thinkthat I was even that, would even
have that thought, and all thecrazy things I've done and the
successes and failures sincethen.
And I tell my kids I'msidetracking.
But I told my kids once I said,if you ever get in that place
where you just feel like I, justeverything sucks and I don't

(50:46):
know what to do, like I don'teven like my life, I'm like then
just they're smarter than me.
I'm like, just you're smart,hack into my bank account, steal
my money and like, go on aspending spree and go like
travel the world or something.
I don't know anything but that.
Because whatever you're feelingnow, five years from now you're
not going to feel like that Fiveyears from.
Whatever you're dealing withright now, it's going to be a

(51:08):
story you tell.
It is not going to feel like itdoes right now, but I had some
people around me back to meagain.
I had some people around me whohelped me get there to see that
.
And it wasn't even five years,a year later, I mean, I went
back.
So I finally did go back on theair.
I listened to my therapist, Iput down the razor, I was fine.
I went back on the air, gotthrough it and five days from

(51:29):
then people had already moved onto another story.
Five weeks from then it waspart of my world, but wasn't my
whole world.
And five months, five yearslater, it was just something I
had gone through.
It was not my whole life, butin those moments it can feel
like your whole life, thank you,and yet it doesn't define you.

(52:06):
Thank you, and yet it other endof it, go.
Hey, life is long, don't putall your eggs in this basket.
Like, this is a moment in time,even when, like someone wins
the Olympics, I always say thelanguage, that language piece
like this is and I hate it.
They do these to these athletes, but they'll interview them
Like is this the best day ofyour life?
We need to teach people to goyes, the best day of my life yet

(52:33):
so far.
Yeah, yet throw in the word yetthe best day yet.
Um, it just is a game changer.
But yeah, the the, the way youfeel right now is not going to
be the same.
It's going to be a story youtell, it's going to be a chapter
in your book.

Speaker 1 (52:40):
It's not your whole book it's not your whole book
and you know it goes back to howwe started this with, with sort
of the, the blank pages.
And you know for, for, foranybody who you're pulling up my
you know, for anybody whoyou're pulling up my
heartstrings here.
But for anybody who's in thatsort of headspace to say, like
this sucks and I know youcreated a podcast called this

(53:01):
Seriously Sucks.
You know if we touch on itthat's cool.
But you know, if you're in thatheadspace of this seriously
sucks and there's nothing else,change the narrative, flip the
script.
Folks, think of those blankpages, right, it's those.
Look at where you're at, you'reat the space where you had
small, small children at thetime, right, and all I can think
about is flipping this page.

(53:22):
This page is going.

Speaker 2 (53:24):
The story's not done yet and uh that, the idea that
it's always going to feeldifferent.
Down the road I had a young kid, a friend of mine.
One of my kid's friends camehome from college and he's the
one like I always think about.
He had gotten drunk at a partyand probably taken some drugs
too, and made a total jerk ofhimself.

(53:45):
Like I said jerk, I'm editingMade a total jerk of himself,
fell down some steps, bashed uphis face and ended up in the
emergency room Like it was allbad.
And so then he hadn't gone toclass because he was ashamed and
embarrassed and he hadn't toldhis parents because he's like
they're going to kill me now,I'm failing school.
He was just in a bad spot and Isat there with him and when he
came to visit and we went andlike sat on the end of the dock

(54:08):
and he was just like I just Idon't know what to do, I'm like
failing and I just want to quitand I'm just I don't even, I've
ruined my whole life.
But he kept saying I've ruinedmy whole life and I said okay,
and this sweet Sandy here, bigold baseball looking, baseball
playing boy sitting there, and Isaid hey, give me a minute.
So didn't you want to say youwanted to get a dog" and he said

(54:29):
, yeah, looked at me like I wascrazy.
I'm like, okay, so when you growup and you want to get a dog,
what kind of dog would you get?
He's like I think I'd want toget a lab.
I'm like so cool.
I used to have a black lab,love labs.
I said what would you name it?
He said I don't know like apeople name, like Eric.
I was like I love that.
Okay, you and when you and Ericare walking down the beach five

(54:57):
years from now you're going tolook back on this and it's not
going to feel like it does rightnow, when you and Eric are
playing in the park or walkingdown the beach, because we live
near a beach I'm like when youand Eric go to the beach and
you're walking down the beach,this is not going to feel like
this.
This is going to be a reallycrappy story.
You tell It'll probably likehave some humor in it, but it's
going to be a really crappychapter in your life that you

(55:18):
got through.
It's just going to be a story.
You tell.
It is not your whole life,nothing's ruined.
You know, and I helped him workthrough some things and go
forward.
But for all of us whether it'smaybe you don't want a dog,
maybe it's a meal that you loveLike five years from now, when
you go to your favoriterestaurant, you have your
favorite meal.
Whatever you're going throughright now is not going to feel
like this, like the world isstill going to be out there in a

(55:39):
very different way and it'shard for us to get out of our
own heads sometimes.
That's why I use the dog story,because you know it's hard for
us to imagine the future withhappiness and success or all
those things.

Speaker 1 (55:51):
Our brain is hardwired to keep us safe and
wants us to go to you.
Know you hardwired to keep ussafe and wants us to go to you.
Know anxiety and say you needto be fearful and plan for this
and and you know I love whatyou're talking about and there
it is.
Folks in the audience out thereis that this doesn't define you
.
This is a moment, this is ablip in your timeline.
There are a whole bunch ofblank pages that are waiting to
be written.
Thank you, nina, for sharingall that and unpacking that.

(56:14):
My God Happy.
Thank you, nina, for sharingall that and unpacking that.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
I'm happy to do so.
I hope some of it lands withyour viewers in a meaningful way
.
I think it's really importantand I'll say that again it's
okay to not be okay.
It's all right to not be okay.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
But you just can't stay that way.
It's not okay to stay.
Just don't stay that way.
I mean, listen, you've touched,moved and inspired me.
You've touched, moved andinspired me, pulled on all my
heartstrings.
An honor, a pleasure, I'mgrateful to share space with you
.
Thank you for this.

Speaker 2 (56:41):
Thank you, jonathan, for having me.
It's been a pleasure and it'sso nice to get to know you.

Speaker 1 (56:45):
You know there's a few more things.
I want to leave it on some funnotes.
You know we talk about thefuture and sort of some of the
anxiety and I want to, you know,bring in the fortune telling
ball.
You know, if you had a crystalball that could could tell the
future, what do you think youwant to know about the future?

Speaker 2 (57:11):
That's a good one.
I wouldn't mind knowing somelottery numbers, just like
everybody else, but or who winsthe World Series or something,
the lame stuff I think of Backto the Future yeah yeah, yeah,
who the president is going to be.
All the Back to the Future stuffLike I totally do that.
I'd love to see what how we fixglobal warming, like there's

(57:32):
all sorts of big issues that Iwould love to know the answers
to, sorts of big issues that Iwould love to know the answers
to.
But when I look at, what I'dlike to know is in the future is
what the mental health of oursociety looks like.
I'm so much into that spaceright now and what I should be
doing now to help in ameaningful way, because I think

(57:55):
that if I knew more about wherewe were going to end up.
The world's changing so fast.
We have this constant globalconnectivity and we're so
different than the world was 20years ago.
With the amount of informationand the technological
advancements and that constantconnectivity and the FOMO that
we've created, I worry what thatis doing to all of us.

(58:16):
So I would like to know that.
If I could look into crystalball, because that's an area
where I feel like I havesomething to offer to move the
needle I just wish I knewexactly where we were headed
with that.
I think that'd be my crystalball moment, along with lottery
numbers in the Baseball WorldSeries.

Speaker 1 (58:33):
Yeah, and I appreciate you for saying that,
because those you know, thoseare the cool.
The dopamine hits that checkoff our brains.
And yet you gave me probablyone of the most insightful,
touching responses.
You know, when we talk aboutmental health, like, what can we
do today?
It's going to make a difference.
That's what I'm with you on.
That, I mean, that's bringingtears to my eyes.
My eyes are just sweating upbecause it's like this is what I

(58:55):
want to know.
The heck can we do today?
It's going to make a difference.

Speaker 2 (58:59):
Yeah, and I say that to folks in their own lives Like
what can do something todaythat the you five years from now
is going to be proud of?
I mean, just do something todaythat you five years now, and
she'll call me sometimes becauseshe's in New York, she's
working in AI, she's 25.
She's doing the whole New Yorkthing, but she'll call me.
She goes ah, if five years agoEmma could see me.

(59:21):
Now I am crushing it today.
I have on a great outfit and I'mwalking through New York and
I'm like crushing it and I waslike you go, you she goes.
Ah yeah, five years ago, emmawould would no idea how freaking
cool I am right now that'samazing other days, yeah, other
days she's not that cool, butyou know those good moments.

(59:41):
At least she can see.

Speaker 1 (59:43):
Yeah thank you, so you know.
Last question before you sharethe details on how to connect
with you.
The last question and I'veshared passion and connection to
children.
If you could share one messageand teach children one thing,
what's the one thing you want toteach children of today?

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Go be you.
Everyone else is taken.
I said this to my kids growingup all the time, and it's so
hard in today's world becausewe're in this comparison culture
.
Just go be you.
Everyone else is taken.
Life is long.
Go create your happiness.
And I use Legos as an example.

(01:00:26):
When you dump out a bunch ofLegos on a table with a bunch of
kids, no two kids would makethe exact same thing.
No, throw away the instructions.
You got to be the masterbuilder.
You saw the Lego movieEverything is awesome.
You got to be the masterbuilder.
You saw the Lego movieEverything is awesome.
You got to be the masterbuilder of your life.
Like, no two kids are going tobuild the same thing.
So take all the pieces you gotand go make some amazing thing

(01:00:48):
and when it falls apart, pickthe pieces back up and start
making it again.
Like, legos are a great way totalk to kids about life and what
that looks like.
But go be you.
Everybody else has taken.

Speaker 1 (01:01:01):
Nina, thank you, I can't wait to connect again.
There's so much more here.
There's a lot of futureconversations that I'm, I'm, I'm
itching that and I want torespect your time for today and
I want to thank you and there'sa whole you've.
You've impacted me, you'vetouched me and inspired me.
You made my day, so thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
So, len, I'm so proud , I'm glad to know you and it
warms my heart to know that somethings that I said hit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
I hope they land in a meaningful way they land it
well, and if they land it withme, I know that there's there's
a boatload of others out therethat it's going to impact.
So, for all the folks who wantto connect with you, want to
know more how they get in touchwith you, what are the details.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
You can follow me on Instagram on Nina Speaks.
I put some motivational andsome fun things.
I think I'm funny.
I put funny things out theretoo.
I think I'm hilarious.
But Nina speaks.
It's Nina underscore SP, periodEKS.
There's several Nina speakersout there so we thought it was
clever because Nina SP like it'sawesome, and Poe, which is my

(01:02:07):
last name.
So we broke it all up, but it'shorrible to be able to say on
the podcast how to find me.
So it's Nina underscore SP,period EAKS.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Don't worry, you know what Vanessa out there.
She's the backbone of theposting, the social media,
everything she's going tocapture all that.
She'll drop that right in thelink.
There you go, so follow me onInstagram or on TikTok.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
I've just started doing some more stuff on TikTok
and I have a whole video shortsthat we're getting ready to
launch, which is a whole lot offun to do because I used to do
TV, so it's really fun for me todo those things, and you can
find me on LinkedIn.
If you're in business, connectwith me on LinkedIn.
I would love to speak to anyother organizations.
I speak to associations andcompanies and organizations who

(01:02:48):
just need a motivational speaker.
I have fun keynotes that Ipresent, so follow me there and
DM me, reach out to me.
I so follow me there and DM me,reach out to me.
I'm happy to help in any way.
You can get my book anywherewhere you get books.
It's called this Is Not the EndStrategies to Get Through the
Worst Chapters of your Life, andyou can if you're going through
a tough time.
It is a quick read.
Hard to write a short book.

(01:03:09):
I'm really proud of this one.

Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
It's a quick read and it will vary tactical practical
things you can do to get youout of whatever you're in the
middle of.
Thank you, yeah, you know what.
Thank you for this, thanks forthe tips.
Literally, it's been a pleasure, it's been an honor.
I'm grateful to share spacewith you, so thank you for today
.

Speaker 2 (01:03:29):
My pleasure and thank you for having me on, Jonathan.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
You're welcome.

Speaker 2 (01:03:32):
All the best to all your listeners, thank you.

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