August 2, 2025 • 29 mins
In this episode, Keaton Turner begins with Fiona's voicemail featuring song lyrics before sharing his favorite country song and a light-hearted beer session, highlighting the importance of fun. The conversation shifts to the impact of saying no and the value of annual trips. Keaton addresses messages from young listeners about relationships, discussing how to choose the right partner and recognizing warning signs. He uses a car analogy to explore narcissistic behavior in relationships and offers final thoughts on navigating these dynamics.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:07):
Hey.
This is Fiona.
Leave a message at the beep.
You're gonna hang or not, man.
Your beer got hot because you snuck outsideagain.
You've been on your phone, like, all night longbecause you don't trust you with your friends.
(00:29):
Yeah.
With thick ass sleeves and if it was me, I'dwant you to let me know.
So shoot this crown, me out, and don't get mewrong.
(01:21):
Welcome back
(01:48):
Man to man, nobody likes your girlfriend.
That is some hard feedback to hear.
Welcome back to the Purdium Podcast.
I'm Keaton Turner.
We're doing it another day.
(02:12):
And and that, my friends, is one of my favoritesongs right now.
It seems like every day there's a new countrysong that comes out that, you know, pulls at
the heartstrings of what us normal guys gothrough.
That song there is called Nobody Likes YourGirlfriend by Nate Smith and Hardy.
(02:33):
I I personally think Nate Smith had one of thebest country albums out in the past year.
He's someone that does not get recognition oryou know, he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't get
the I don't I don't think he gets the respecthe deserves.
I'm a big fan of Nate Smith, also Hardy.
(02:55):
I mean, shoot.
I've been I've been in a Hardy concert, and anddefinitely not chasing that man the night I've
been to Hardy concerts.
But when when the song sold out by Hardy comeson, I go into the sixth dimension.
(03:16):
So I love Hardy too, by the way.
But this song this one's interesting for me.
We're gonna dive into it.
But before I do that, what's what's happeningin the world?
What's going on?
I just left a a fun little beer session withsome buddies where we sat around and talked
(03:38):
about our upcoming golf trips.
I know this sounds bougie.
I know this sounds like, you know, businessowner thing.
People are gonna roll their eyes and make fun.
Like, oh, the dude's out of touch.
He's planning his golf trips.
You have to have something you're lookingforward to.
I I went through phases of my journey when Iwas building the business, and I went through
(04:02):
chapters where there was nothing to lookforward to.
It was just day after day, ball kicking afterball kicking, loss after loss, headache after
headache, fire after fire, and I didn't haveanything there was no light at the end of the
tunnel for me.
And what I learned, and my friends are reallygood about this.
(04:22):
I got some diabolical friends.
But what I learned was we all have to havesomething to look forward to that that is
within reach.
The the problem with having, you know, big,juicy dreams to look forward to someday, like,
oh, I'm gonna build a billion dollar company orI'm gonna be a multimillionaire someday.
(04:45):
Like, those are great to fine, if that's whatyou want, but those are a long way off.
We all need something to look forward to that'stangible, that is within our grasp, that's
within a few months away.
If if you're planning for something that'sthat's, you know, more than a year away, to me,
(05:06):
that like, do you get excited about it everyday?
I don't know.
Do you text about it with your friend group oryour family every day?
I I don't know.
If it's more than a year away, it seems like anawful long time away.
I learned that guys' trips for me are a hugerelease.
(05:26):
We text about it.
I've got several guys' groups, guys' textmessage groups where we text about it.
We'll send GIFs.
We'll make fun of each other.
We'll book, you know, restaurants or hotels orgolf courses.
There's something that keeps you feeling alivewhen you're going through the meat grinder that
(05:48):
is, you know, the industries that we deal with.
There's something that keeps you alive when youhave something to look forward to.
I've had to ask my my myself the questionsometimes, when's the last time you had fun?
This is a this is kind of a wild question toask.
Like, when's the last time I had fun?
(06:10):
Like, real fun, where I threw caution to thewind, forgot about the business for a minute,
like, just went out and had real fun, laughed,smiled, enjoyed the people I was with.
When when's the last time?
If if you can't remember the last time you wentout and actually had fun, then it's been too
(06:35):
long.
If you can't pinpoint the exact concert thatyou went to, trip that you went on, night out
with friends, whatever, whatever fills your cupup.
If you can't remember, it's been too long.
And if you avoid having fun long enough, whathappened, in my opinion, what happens is you
(06:56):
forget how to have fun, and people stop callingyou.
I went through this.
I did.
There's a period where I was building mybusiness.
It was in the early days, and and I just toldmy friends no to everything.
I didn't play any golf.
I didn't go on any trips.
I wouldn't go hang out and grab a beer.
(07:17):
And and something weird of course, my myfriends are are they're always texting.
I've always got 40 unread text messages intheir group.
They're they're a very communicative group ofguys.
They like to razz each other.
And and what happened was they just stoppedcalling, stopped texting.
(07:39):
They're they because they knew.
They were like, well, he's not gonna he's notgonna join.
He's not gonna play.
He's not gonna go on this trip.
He's working.
And one day, a buddy of mine, Eric, sat medown.
He's like, dude, nobody like, you you just shuteverybody out.
Like, nobody ever expects for you to join.
So why are we gonna keep asking?
I'm like, you know what?
(08:00):
That's a good point.
The reason I bring this up is because you haveto have something to look forward to amidst the
chaos, amidst the grind, amidst the the journeythat you're on.
Every year, my wife goes on a girl trip, andevery year, I go on a guy trip, and we go on at
least one.
(08:21):
This year, I'm going on a couple guys' trips,but we every year, she goes on a trip with all
of her girlfriends, and I go on a trip with allmy guy friends.
And we do what fills our cup up.
They go to the spa.
They drink wine.
They go eat nice dinners.
They probably wink at some old guys with money,and they buy their dinners.
(08:44):
For us guys, we go to golf courses.
We go to resorts.
We go to nice golf courses.
We play the hardest courses that we can find orafford.
And and we have two or three days where it'swhere it's no business.
It's no drama.
There's no b I mean, there's drama because weargue over who gets strokes and who doesn't get
(09:05):
strokes and what the, you know, what the wagersare.
There's plenty of drama.
But, man, I love looking forward to a trip.
The worst day of the year for me is the dayafter a guy's trip when we haven't planned the
next trip, and there's this lull where we don'twe don't have anything to look forward to.
(09:30):
And at one point, it's been here recently, I I,like, finally decided we all need something
that we're looking forward to constantly.
Right?
We should have the next trip planned the day wefinish the trip we're on.
We should have the next trip, the next nightout, the next date night, the next event, the
(09:51):
next concert.
My wife's really good about planning concerts.
Every year, we go to a couple concerts.
You have to have something to look forward to.
Otherwise, you get caught up you get caught upin life, and you get caught up in all the drama
and all the crap.
And if you don't have anything to look forwardto, man, it gets lonely fast.
It gets depressing fast.
You get burnt out fast.
(10:12):
So highly encourage you to find something thatyou look forward to.
What's the topic?
I'm on my way home from the office, and I Ireally chose this intro because there's some
(10:32):
young guys that have messaged me.
I'm not gonna call them out by name.
There's some young guys that have messaged meon the Purdium hotline recently.
And if you've never used the Purdium hotline,please reach out to me.
I'd love to hear from you.
980 diem on your on your dial pad.
(980) 737-3436.
(10:53):
There's some young guys that have reached out,and and based on the comments or the messages
they've sent me, I can tell they're in a weirdspot in life.
I can tell that they've got a choice to make.
In one hand, they wanna focus on their job.
They wanna focus on their career.
They wanna go make money and set themselves up,kinda springboard into the next chapter of
(11:19):
life.
In the other hand, they have a girlfriend.
And maybe this is you.
Maybe you can remember being in this moment inthis position.
I've said multiple times, the most importantdecision you can make in life is who you choose
(11:40):
to do it with.
Who do you choose as your girlfriend?
Who do you choose as your wife?
Why do you choose them?
If you're old enough to listen to this podcast,you're probably old enough to remember the time
when you had a friend that nobody liked hisgirlfriend?
(12:04):
Do you do you know who I'm talking does a namecome to mind, like, the guy who had a smokeshow
of a girlfriend, she was way hotter than hewas.
She was way out of his league.
She chose him for some reason.
We all kinda wonder why did she choose him?
And then later it became clear, oh, wait.
She chose him because she can manipulate him.
(12:25):
She can control him.
Nobody likes your girlfriend.
Do you know that guy?
Do you know the guy whose girlfriend neverspeaks highly of him in public, never builds
him up when he's around his friends, never is,like, a joy to be around, never makes the guy
(12:45):
better.
It's the guy that is always making excuses forhis girlfriend or his wife.
I'll even make this more personal for some ofthe older guys.
Some some of the older guys know exactly whatI'm talking about.
The wife who, when you go on double dates, isalways taking little jabs at her husband.
(13:06):
Right?
He's not physically fit.
He doesn't know how to dress.
He's a slob at the dinner table.
He has no manners.
He doesn't make as much money as we thought hewas going to make.
Like, maybe some of those things are true.
But even if they're true, if your wife issaying these things, nobody likes her.
(13:33):
She's the wrong person.
There there are definitely areas of my lifewhere my wife could pick on me big time.
Right?
I don't I don't I don't pick up my laundry.
I leave it on the floor sometimes.
I I I tune her out or get isolated and on mybad days.
Or I mean, the list goes.
I'm not gonna list them all for you guys togive you more ammo against me.
(13:56):
But if your woman takes jabs at you in publicwhen you're with your friends, when you're with
your family, when you're with your colleagues,your coworkers, man, that says something.
And other people notice.
You might pretend like they don't.
You might pretend like, oh, it was an innocentcomment.
(14:18):
She didn't mean anything by it.
Ah, she took a jab at me.
Yeah.
She doesn't mean anything by it.
Trust me.
She means something by it.
I've seen this play out, and and it's alwaysawkward for the other people.
Right?
When when you're on a double date or whenyou're in a group I remember this in high
school.
I had some buddies that they had a girlfriendthat just nobody liked.
(14:40):
I'll never forget one time I'm catfishing withme and three other guys.
I'm not gonna mention their names because Istill know them.
They're still in my hometown.
So I'm not gonna mention their names.
They're not with these girls anymore.
Thank God.
But this one dude, he was he was pretty goodlooking dude.
He's athletic.
He was muscular.
He had a very beautiful girlfriend.
(15:02):
The problem was nobody liked her.
So we're out catfishing one night.
It's it's the three of us, and and she callshim.
It's, you know, 10:30 at night.
It's like, what what what is she calling youfor, dude?
We're we're catfishing.
He answers the phone, and he talks like he's abeaten puppy dog, Very somber, very quiet, very
(15:28):
he doesn't want us other guys to hear him onthe phone with her, which that's your first
sign.
If you can't talk with your woman onspeakerphone, you might have a problem, but
I'll I'll I'll go past that one for a second.
Finally, we get to the bottom of it.
She doesn't trust him out there with us.
(15:48):
She doesn't trust him.
This is a theme with people who havegirlfriends that no one likes or wives that no
one likes.
They don't trust you.
They don't trust you to do anything.
They don't trust you to go to the grocerystore.
They don't trust you to go out with guys.
Like, guys' nights, they make you feel guilty.
They guilt trap you and guilt trip you all thetime.
(16:10):
She doesn't she did not like the fact that hewas out catfishing at night with his other
buddies.
I don't know what she thought.
I don't know if she thought we were with abunch of girls.
I no idea.
Right?
But psychotic girlfriends do this.
They don't trust you.
So next thing we know, about twenty minuteslater, a car pulls up.
(16:33):
I'm like, that's weird.
We're way out here.
We're at the lake.
Like, what's what are they doing?
Here she comes.
He invited her to come catfishing.
He couldn't tell her no because he didn't wannahear didn't didn't wanna deal with the drama
that would ensue if he told her no, she can'tcome catfishing.
So for him, the easy path was, I'll just inviteher out here.
(16:54):
That way, I still get to hang out with the guysand I get to hang out with her.
Best of both worlds.
Right?
Wrong, bro.
Wrong.
That's the stupidest thing you could have done.
We're catfishing.
We're not hanging out with girls.
And so we're all sitting around him thinking toourselves, dude, nobody likes your girlfriend.
(17:22):
You should break up with her.
I remember I remember we all had conversationswith him.
We had we had like an intervention.
We had some one on ones.
We're like, bro, you gotta dump her.
She is she is a trip and not in a good way.
I remember this.
And every time he was like, oh, no, guys.
She's misunderstood.
(17:42):
She means well.
She's she's just trying to fit in.
She's she doesn't think you guys like her.
It was always something.
It was always something.
Sure enough, we all get tired of dealing withit.
We all stop hanging out with him.
A year and a half later, what happens?
They break up.
(18:02):
I don't know if I don't know if he finally wokeup and realized he was with someone that no one
liked, someone that was a victim, someone thatwas a narcissist.
I don't know if he finally realized that or ifshe just got tired of playing the puppet master
and she she moved on to a new puppet.
I'm not sure.
(18:23):
But man, I'm telling you right now, if youthink in your mind, no one likes your
girlfriend, no one likes your wife, If yourparents don't like her, if your friends don't
like her, if she doesn't have any core friendgroup of her own, I'm gonna give you one very
(18:50):
simple tool.
Run.
Run.
Run fast.
Run far away.
She might be the most gorgeous thing ever.
She might be physically attracted to you, andthat leads to all kinds of other physical
thing.
I'm telling you right now, run.
(19:11):
This is I mean, the fact that Nate Smith andHardy write a song about it means this is a
real thing that guys struggle with.
And and I don't know why guys turn a blind eyeto this.
Like, if your parents don't like her, and yourparents are normal people.
Sometimes we have parents that are a little bitcrazy.
(19:32):
But if your parents don't like her, if yourfriends don't like her, if her own friends
don't like her or she doesn't have any friends,like, hello?
Are we missing the writing on the wall?
I would ask like, yeah, we might be missingsomething here.
Do not be blinded by beauty.
(19:56):
You are picking someone not for beauty.
Beauty is paint on the car.
Like, the paint on the car, that's great.
It looks nice.
Does the car get you where you want to go?
Does the woman in your life get you where youwanna go?
Ideally, the paint on the car looks nice andthe car runs well.
(20:18):
The motor runs well.
The transmission the driveline, the mechanicsof the car are gonna get you where you wanna
go.
But at the end of the day, if you're pickingsomething for just the appearance and
everything else inside the thing is screwed up,it's gonna hold you back.
(20:39):
You're not gonna get where you wanna go.
Life is gonna be empty and hollow.
There's gonna be drama every day.
There's gonna be BS.
You're gonna go turn the key, and that thing'snot gonna start.
Or worse, you're gonna turn the key, and itstarts this morning.
Oh, thank God.
It started.
You get five minutes down the road, and itdies.
And there's drama in your life.
(21:02):
I'm using the car as an analogy to the woman,do not pick something that just looks good on
the surface.
Who are they below the surface?
The girlfriend, the wife, who are youcommitting to being with well past the paint
(21:22):
fading?
Some of the best vehicles out there that arestill on the road today, the paint's faded.
They got some rust over the wheel wells.
The clear coat is flaking off, but those thingsstill get you from A to B.
They still get the job done.
They still get you where you wanna go.
(21:42):
To me, I would always rather have that than thething that looks amazing but can't make it out
of the driveway.
That's the song.
Nobody likes your girlfriend.
They don't like what's inside.
The surface looks great.
She's beautiful.
(22:04):
Sometimes the most dangerous women are the onesthat know they're beautiful.
One of my favorite songs is she don't knowshe's beautiful.
I think it's a Brooks and Dunn song.
That's what you want.
You want someone who has what it takes on theinside to make you a better man.
(22:29):
Someone who has on the inside what your familyis drawn to.
Someone who has on the inside what your friendsenjoy being around.
If your friends can't stand her, your familycan't stand her, and deep down, this is the
wild part, deep down, you can't stand her.
(22:55):
What are you doing?
This might this episode might only make senseto one guy.
And if so, I've done my job.
But everybody knows that one guy.
Send this episode to him.
Everybody knows that one guy who is with thatone girl that nobody can stand.
(23:17):
They can't stand to go on double dates.
It's funny.
If you ever like like, if you're with the girl,this is this is kind of the the litmus test for
this.
If you're with the girl and you guys ask othercouples to go on a double date.
You ask other couples to go get dinner, othercouples to go on a trip, whatever, and no one
(23:38):
ever goes.
No one everyone's busy.
Everyone's schedule doesn't work.
Everyone just can't make it.
News flash.
You're with the girl that nobody can stand.
That's why they're telling you no.
They're not gonna go on a double date.
They're not gonna go to dinner with you.
They're not gonna go on the trip you.
(23:59):
They can't stand her.
Why would they wanna go waste their time?
We all know that guy who's with that girl, andI'm only speaking from a guy's perspective.
Maybe this maybe the tables can be turned.
I'm sure they can.
Right?
And if and if I don't know if there's any womenthat listen to this, but maybe you gals know of
(24:21):
your girlfriend who is with a guy that's atotal dud.
I know believe it or not, I know some examplesof this as well.
Like, someone has to wake them up and say, whatare you doing?
No one can stand him.
(24:42):
Why are you with him?
Why are you wasting your time?
Why are you setting your bar so low?
People get trapped.
It's it's funny.
These folks who know, and and I think this ismaybe a subconscious thing.
I don't know.
It's wild how the world works.
These folks who know no one can stand them,they prey on people who are too nice.
(25:06):
They prey on people who won't tell them no.
The hot girl who knows she has no friends andknows that no one likes her and knows that
she's a royal bee, I'm gonna keep it PG for allthe kids, that girl preys on guys that are too
(25:28):
nice.
That way, they can get whatever they want outof them.
That way, the guy never tells them no.
That way, the guy won't ever leave them.
They can manipulate the guy.
This is an early form of narcissism.
Go look it up.
If you don't know what narcissism is or or whoor what a narcissist is, go look it up.
(25:54):
It's someone that can control other people inthe most insane ways.
Maybe you're living through this.
Maybe there needs a whole maybe we need a wholeother episode on narcissist.
It's someone that controls other people fortheir own good, their own well-being, their own
(26:16):
satisfaction, their own ego.
I had to say this one.
I I heard this song, and I got some messages.
It's funny how all this, you know, these theseepisodes kind of stack up.
And I'm sure there's, you know, a bigger forcebehind all this at the end of it.
(26:36):
But, you know, I'll hear a song on the radiolike this song, Nobody Likes Your Girlfriend by
Nate Smith and Hardy, and then I will getmessages at the same time on the Purdium
hotline from dudes who I can tell havegirlfriends that nobody likes.
And so I don't know what draws me to speak onthis.
(26:56):
I don't know if it lands well for one personand then the other couple thousand of you guys
that listen to this.
It's like, why in the world would he talk aboutthis one today?
This one to me, I felt like was relevant.
I don't know why.
I can't explain it.
This is the topic I had for today.
I hope I hope you're not that guy that callsand invites his girlfriend to come catfishing
(27:24):
when you're with a bunch of other guys.
I hope you're not that guy.
I hope you're not that guy whose girlfriendcomes on the guy's trip with you to go golfing,
And meanwhile, she has no other friends withher.
Like, I hope you're not that guy who is blindedto the fact that nobody likes your girlfriend
(27:47):
or nobody likes your wife.
I'm not trying to break up marriages here.
I think you should figure out your way throughit.
If you're married, you're kind of yeah.
I mean, you're in it.
That's maybe a whole separate issue or topic.
But, if it's your girlfriend and nobody likesher, read the writing on the wall.
It's for your own good.
If you listen to the third verse of the songthat Hardy talks about, it's like, I know this
(28:09):
sucks.
Like, I know it's painful, but, like, I'm justtrying to save you a heartache down the road.
I'm trying to save you from the direction it'sgonna take your life, and it's not a great
direction with her in it.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know if that made any sense to anybody.
That's my that's kind of a soft rant.
(28:31):
I think I'm gonna categorize my rants into,like, diabolical rant at one end of the
spectrum and then maybe a soft rant at theother end.
There's probably levels in between that.
This was kind of a soft rant.
Don't get stuck with a girlfriend that nobodylikes.
That's what I got.
Thanks for tuning in.
(28:51):
Thanks for listening to the soft rant.
This is the Purdium Podcast.
We will do it again tomorrow.
As always, pray you're getting your Purdue.
Hey.
This is Fiona.
Leave a message at the beep.
You're gonna hang or not, man.
Your beer got hot because you snuck outsideagain.
You've been on your phone, like, all night longbecause you don't trust you with your friends.
(00:29):
Yeah.
With thick ass sleeves and if it was me, I'dwant you to let me know.
So shoot this crown, me out, and don't get mewrong.
(01:21):
Welcome back
(01:48):
Man to man, nobody likes your girlfriend.
That is some hard feedback to hear.
Welcome back to the Purdium Podcast.
I'm Keaton Turner.
We're doing it another day.
(02:12):
And and that, my friends, is one of my favoritesongs right now.
It seems like every day there's a new countrysong that comes out that, you know, pulls at
the heartstrings of what us normal guys gothrough.
That song there is called Nobody Likes YourGirlfriend by Nate Smith and Hardy.
(02:33):
I I personally think Nate Smith had one of thebest country albums out in the past year.
He's someone that does not get recognition oryou know, he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't get
the I don't I don't think he gets the respecthe deserves.
I'm a big fan of Nate Smith, also Hardy.
(02:55):
I mean, shoot.
I've been I've been in a Hardy concert, and anddefinitely not chasing that man the night I've
been to Hardy concerts.
But when when the song sold out by Hardy comeson, I go into the sixth dimension.
(03:16):
So I love Hardy too, by the way.
But this song this one's interesting for me.
We're gonna dive into it.
But before I do that, what's what's happeningin the world?
What's going on?
I just left a a fun little beer session withsome buddies where we sat around and talked
(03:38):
about our upcoming golf trips.
I know this sounds bougie.
I know this sounds like, you know, businessowner thing.
People are gonna roll their eyes and make fun.
Like, oh, the dude's out of touch.
He's planning his golf trips.
You have to have something you're lookingforward to.
I I went through phases of my journey when Iwas building the business, and I went through
(04:02):
chapters where there was nothing to lookforward to.
It was just day after day, ball kicking afterball kicking, loss after loss, headache after
headache, fire after fire, and I didn't haveanything there was no light at the end of the
tunnel for me.
And what I learned, and my friends are reallygood about this.
(04:22):
I got some diabolical friends.
But what I learned was we all have to havesomething to look forward to that that is
within reach.
The the problem with having, you know, big,juicy dreams to look forward to someday, like,
oh, I'm gonna build a billion dollar company orI'm gonna be a multimillionaire someday.
(04:45):
Like, those are great to fine, if that's whatyou want, but those are a long way off.
We all need something to look forward to that'stangible, that is within our grasp, that's
within a few months away.
If if you're planning for something that'sthat's, you know, more than a year away, to me,
(05:06):
that like, do you get excited about it everyday?
I don't know.
Do you text about it with your friend group oryour family every day?
I I don't know.
If it's more than a year away, it seems like anawful long time away.
I learned that guys' trips for me are a hugerelease.
(05:26):
We text about it.
I've got several guys' groups, guys' textmessage groups where we text about it.
We'll send GIFs.
We'll make fun of each other.
We'll book, you know, restaurants or hotels orgolf courses.
There's something that keeps you feeling alivewhen you're going through the meat grinder that
(05:48):
is, you know, the industries that we deal with.
There's something that keeps you alive when youhave something to look forward to.
I've had to ask my my myself the questionsometimes, when's the last time you had fun?
This is a this is kind of a wild question toask.
Like, when's the last time I had fun?
(06:10):
Like, real fun, where I threw caution to thewind, forgot about the business for a minute,
like, just went out and had real fun, laughed,smiled, enjoyed the people I was with.
When when's the last time?
If if you can't remember the last time you wentout and actually had fun, then it's been too
(06:35):
long.
If you can't pinpoint the exact concert thatyou went to, trip that you went on, night out
with friends, whatever, whatever fills your cupup.
If you can't remember, it's been too long.
And if you avoid having fun long enough, whathappened, in my opinion, what happens is you
(06:56):
forget how to have fun, and people stop callingyou.
I went through this.
I did.
There's a period where I was building mybusiness.
It was in the early days, and and I just toldmy friends no to everything.
I didn't play any golf.
I didn't go on any trips.
I wouldn't go hang out and grab a beer.
(07:17):
And and something weird of course, my myfriends are are they're always texting.
I've always got 40 unread text messages intheir group.
They're they're a very communicative group ofguys.
They like to razz each other.
And and what happened was they just stoppedcalling, stopped texting.
(07:39):
They're they because they knew.
They were like, well, he's not gonna he's notgonna join.
He's not gonna play.
He's not gonna go on this trip.
He's working.
And one day, a buddy of mine, Eric, sat medown.
He's like, dude, nobody like, you you just shuteverybody out.
Like, nobody ever expects for you to join.
So why are we gonna keep asking?
I'm like, you know what?
(08:00):
That's a good point.
The reason I bring this up is because you haveto have something to look forward to amidst the
chaos, amidst the grind, amidst the the journeythat you're on.
Every year, my wife goes on a girl trip, andevery year, I go on a guy trip, and we go on at
least one.
(08:21):
This year, I'm going on a couple guys' trips,but we every year, she goes on a trip with all
of her girlfriends, and I go on a trip with allmy guy friends.
And we do what fills our cup up.
They go to the spa.
They drink wine.
They go eat nice dinners.
They probably wink at some old guys with money,and they buy their dinners.
(08:44):
For us guys, we go to golf courses.
We go to resorts.
We go to nice golf courses.
We play the hardest courses that we can find orafford.
And and we have two or three days where it'swhere it's no business.
It's no drama.
There's no b I mean, there's drama because weargue over who gets strokes and who doesn't get
(09:05):
strokes and what the, you know, what the wagersare.
There's plenty of drama.
But, man, I love looking forward to a trip.
The worst day of the year for me is the dayafter a guy's trip when we haven't planned the
next trip, and there's this lull where we don'twe don't have anything to look forward to.
(09:30):
And at one point, it's been here recently, I I,like, finally decided we all need something
that we're looking forward to constantly.
Right?
We should have the next trip planned the day wefinish the trip we're on.
We should have the next trip, the next nightout, the next date night, the next event, the
(09:51):
next concert.
My wife's really good about planning concerts.
Every year, we go to a couple concerts.
You have to have something to look forward to.
Otherwise, you get caught up you get caught upin life, and you get caught up in all the drama
and all the crap.
And if you don't have anything to look forwardto, man, it gets lonely fast.
It gets depressing fast.
You get burnt out fast.
(10:12):
So highly encourage you to find something thatyou look forward to.
What's the topic?
I'm on my way home from the office, and I Ireally chose this intro because there's some
(10:32):
young guys that have messaged me.
I'm not gonna call them out by name.
There's some young guys that have messaged meon the Purdium hotline recently.
And if you've never used the Purdium hotline,please reach out to me.
I'd love to hear from you.
980 diem on your on your dial pad.
(980) 737-3436.
(10:53):
There's some young guys that have reached out,and and based on the comments or the messages
they've sent me, I can tell they're in a weirdspot in life.
I can tell that they've got a choice to make.
In one hand, they wanna focus on their job.
They wanna focus on their career.
They wanna go make money and set themselves up,kinda springboard into the next chapter of
(11:19):
life.
In the other hand, they have a girlfriend.
And maybe this is you.
Maybe you can remember being in this moment inthis position.
I've said multiple times, the most importantdecision you can make in life is who you choose
(11:40):
to do it with.
Who do you choose as your girlfriend?
Who do you choose as your wife?
Why do you choose them?
If you're old enough to listen to this podcast,you're probably old enough to remember the time
when you had a friend that nobody liked hisgirlfriend?
(12:04):
Do you do you know who I'm talking does a namecome to mind, like, the guy who had a smokeshow
of a girlfriend, she was way hotter than hewas.
She was way out of his league.
She chose him for some reason.
We all kinda wonder why did she choose him?
And then later it became clear, oh, wait.
She chose him because she can manipulate him.
(12:25):
She can control him.
Nobody likes your girlfriend.
Do you know that guy?
Do you know the guy whose girlfriend neverspeaks highly of him in public, never builds
him up when he's around his friends, never is,like, a joy to be around, never makes the guy
(12:45):
better.
It's the guy that is always making excuses forhis girlfriend or his wife.
I'll even make this more personal for some ofthe older guys.
Some some of the older guys know exactly whatI'm talking about.
The wife who, when you go on double dates, isalways taking little jabs at her husband.
(13:06):
Right?
He's not physically fit.
He doesn't know how to dress.
He's a slob at the dinner table.
He has no manners.
He doesn't make as much money as we thought hewas going to make.
Like, maybe some of those things are true.
But even if they're true, if your wife issaying these things, nobody likes her.
(13:33):
She's the wrong person.
There there are definitely areas of my lifewhere my wife could pick on me big time.
Right?
I don't I don't I don't pick up my laundry.
I leave it on the floor sometimes.
I I I tune her out or get isolated and on mybad days.
Or I mean, the list goes.
I'm not gonna list them all for you guys togive you more ammo against me.
(13:56):
But if your woman takes jabs at you in publicwhen you're with your friends, when you're with
your family, when you're with your colleagues,your coworkers, man, that says something.
And other people notice.
You might pretend like they don't.
You might pretend like, oh, it was an innocentcomment.
(14:18):
She didn't mean anything by it.
Ah, she took a jab at me.
Yeah.
She doesn't mean anything by it.
Trust me.
She means something by it.
I've seen this play out, and and it's alwaysawkward for the other people.
Right?
When when you're on a double date or whenyou're in a group I remember this in high
school.
I had some buddies that they had a girlfriendthat just nobody liked.
(14:40):
I'll never forget one time I'm catfishing withme and three other guys.
I'm not gonna mention their names because Istill know them.
They're still in my hometown.
So I'm not gonna mention their names.
They're not with these girls anymore.
Thank God.
But this one dude, he was he was pretty goodlooking dude.
He's athletic.
He was muscular.
He had a very beautiful girlfriend.
(15:02):
The problem was nobody liked her.
So we're out catfishing one night.
It's it's the three of us, and and she callshim.
It's, you know, 10:30 at night.
It's like, what what what is she calling youfor, dude?
We're we're catfishing.
He answers the phone, and he talks like he's abeaten puppy dog, Very somber, very quiet, very
(15:28):
he doesn't want us other guys to hear him onthe phone with her, which that's your first
sign.
If you can't talk with your woman onspeakerphone, you might have a problem, but
I'll I'll I'll go past that one for a second.
Finally, we get to the bottom of it.
She doesn't trust him out there with us.
(15:48):
She doesn't trust him.
This is a theme with people who havegirlfriends that no one likes or wives that no
one likes.
They don't trust you.
They don't trust you to do anything.
They don't trust you to go to the grocerystore.
They don't trust you to go out with guys.
Like, guys' nights, they make you feel guilty.
They guilt trap you and guilt trip you all thetime.
(16:10):
She doesn't she did not like the fact that hewas out catfishing at night with his other
buddies.
I don't know what she thought.
I don't know if she thought we were with abunch of girls.
I no idea.
Right?
But psychotic girlfriends do this.
They don't trust you.
So next thing we know, about twenty minuteslater, a car pulls up.
(16:33):
I'm like, that's weird.
We're way out here.
We're at the lake.
Like, what's what are they doing?
Here she comes.
He invited her to come catfishing.
He couldn't tell her no because he didn't wannahear didn't didn't wanna deal with the drama
that would ensue if he told her no, she can'tcome catfishing.
So for him, the easy path was, I'll just inviteher out here.
(16:54):
That way, I still get to hang out with the guysand I get to hang out with her.
Best of both worlds.
Right?
Wrong, bro.
Wrong.
That's the stupidest thing you could have done.
We're catfishing.
We're not hanging out with girls.
And so we're all sitting around him thinking toourselves, dude, nobody likes your girlfriend.
(17:22):
You should break up with her.
I remember I remember we all had conversationswith him.
We had we had like an intervention.
We had some one on ones.
We're like, bro, you gotta dump her.
She is she is a trip and not in a good way.
I remember this.
And every time he was like, oh, no, guys.
She's misunderstood.
(17:42):
She means well.
She's she's just trying to fit in.
She's she doesn't think you guys like her.
It was always something.
It was always something.
Sure enough, we all get tired of dealing withit.
We all stop hanging out with him.
A year and a half later, what happens?
They break up.
(18:02):
I don't know if I don't know if he finally wokeup and realized he was with someone that no one
liked, someone that was a victim, someone thatwas a narcissist.
I don't know if he finally realized that or ifshe just got tired of playing the puppet master
and she she moved on to a new puppet.
I'm not sure.
(18:23):
But man, I'm telling you right now, if youthink in your mind, no one likes your
girlfriend, no one likes your wife, If yourparents don't like her, if your friends don't
like her, if she doesn't have any core friendgroup of her own, I'm gonna give you one very
(18:50):
simple tool.
Run.
Run.
Run fast.
Run far away.
She might be the most gorgeous thing ever.
She might be physically attracted to you, andthat leads to all kinds of other physical
thing.
I'm telling you right now, run.
(19:11):
This is I mean, the fact that Nate Smith andHardy write a song about it means this is a
real thing that guys struggle with.
And and I don't know why guys turn a blind eyeto this.
Like, if your parents don't like her, and yourparents are normal people.
Sometimes we have parents that are a little bitcrazy.
(19:32):
But if your parents don't like her, if yourfriends don't like her, if her own friends
don't like her or she doesn't have any friends,like, hello?
Are we missing the writing on the wall?
I would ask like, yeah, we might be missingsomething here.
Do not be blinded by beauty.
(19:56):
You are picking someone not for beauty.
Beauty is paint on the car.
Like, the paint on the car, that's great.
It looks nice.
Does the car get you where you want to go?
Does the woman in your life get you where youwanna go?
Ideally, the paint on the car looks nice andthe car runs well.
(20:18):
The motor runs well.
The transmission the driveline, the mechanicsof the car are gonna get you where you wanna
go.
But at the end of the day, if you're pickingsomething for just the appearance and
everything else inside the thing is screwed up,it's gonna hold you back.
(20:39):
You're not gonna get where you wanna go.
Life is gonna be empty and hollow.
There's gonna be drama every day.
There's gonna be BS.
You're gonna go turn the key, and that thing'snot gonna start.
Or worse, you're gonna turn the key, and itstarts this morning.
Oh, thank God.
It started.
You get five minutes down the road, and itdies.
And there's drama in your life.
(21:02):
I'm using the car as an analogy to the woman,do not pick something that just looks good on
the surface.
Who are they below the surface?
The girlfriend, the wife, who are youcommitting to being with well past the paint
(21:22):
fading?
Some of the best vehicles out there that arestill on the road today, the paint's faded.
They got some rust over the wheel wells.
The clear coat is flaking off, but those thingsstill get you from A to B.
They still get the job done.
They still get you where you wanna go.
(21:42):
To me, I would always rather have that than thething that looks amazing but can't make it out
of the driveway.
That's the song.
Nobody likes your girlfriend.
They don't like what's inside.
The surface looks great.
She's beautiful.
(22:04):
Sometimes the most dangerous women are the onesthat know they're beautiful.
One of my favorite songs is she don't knowshe's beautiful.
I think it's a Brooks and Dunn song.
That's what you want.
You want someone who has what it takes on theinside to make you a better man.
(22:29):
Someone who has on the inside what your familyis drawn to.
Someone who has on the inside what your friendsenjoy being around.
If your friends can't stand her, your familycan't stand her, and deep down, this is the
wild part, deep down, you can't stand her.
(22:55):
What are you doing?
This might this episode might only make senseto one guy.
And if so, I've done my job.
But everybody knows that one guy.
Send this episode to him.
Everybody knows that one guy who is with thatone girl that nobody can stand.
(23:17):
They can't stand to go on double dates.
It's funny.
If you ever like like, if you're with the girl,this is this is kind of the the litmus test for
this.
If you're with the girl and you guys ask othercouples to go on a double date.
You ask other couples to go get dinner, othercouples to go on a trip, whatever, and no one
(23:38):
ever goes.
No one everyone's busy.
Everyone's schedule doesn't work.
Everyone just can't make it.
News flash.
You're with the girl that nobody can stand.
That's why they're telling you no.
They're not gonna go on a double date.
They're not gonna go to dinner with you.
They're not gonna go on the trip you.
(23:59):
They can't stand her.
Why would they wanna go waste their time?
We all know that guy who's with that girl, andI'm only speaking from a guy's perspective.
Maybe this maybe the tables can be turned.
I'm sure they can.
Right?
And if and if I don't know if there's any womenthat listen to this, but maybe you gals know of
(24:21):
your girlfriend who is with a guy that's atotal dud.
I know believe it or not, I know some examplesof this as well.
Like, someone has to wake them up and say, whatare you doing?
No one can stand him.
(24:42):
Why are you with him?
Why are you wasting your time?
Why are you setting your bar so low?
People get trapped.
It's it's funny.
These folks who know, and and I think this ismaybe a subconscious thing.
I don't know.
It's wild how the world works.
These folks who know no one can stand them,they prey on people who are too nice.
(25:06):
They prey on people who won't tell them no.
The hot girl who knows she has no friends andknows that no one likes her and knows that
she's a royal bee, I'm gonna keep it PG for allthe kids, that girl preys on guys that are too
(25:28):
nice.
That way, they can get whatever they want outof them.
That way, the guy never tells them no.
That way, the guy won't ever leave them.
They can manipulate the guy.
This is an early form of narcissism.
Go look it up.
If you don't know what narcissism is or or whoor what a narcissist is, go look it up.
(25:54):
It's someone that can control other people inthe most insane ways.
Maybe you're living through this.
Maybe there needs a whole maybe we need a wholeother episode on narcissist.
It's someone that controls other people fortheir own good, their own well-being, their own
(26:16):
satisfaction, their own ego.
I had to say this one.
I I heard this song, and I got some messages.
It's funny how all this, you know, these theseepisodes kind of stack up.
And I'm sure there's, you know, a bigger forcebehind all this at the end of it.
(26:36):
But, you know, I'll hear a song on the radiolike this song, Nobody Likes Your Girlfriend by
Nate Smith and Hardy, and then I will getmessages at the same time on the Purdium
hotline from dudes who I can tell havegirlfriends that nobody likes.
And so I don't know what draws me to speak onthis.
(26:56):
I don't know if it lands well for one personand then the other couple thousand of you guys
that listen to this.
It's like, why in the world would he talk aboutthis one today?
This one to me, I felt like was relevant.
I don't know why.
I can't explain it.
This is the topic I had for today.
I hope I hope you're not that guy that callsand invites his girlfriend to come catfishing
(27:24):
when you're with a bunch of other guys.
I hope you're not that guy.
I hope you're not that guy whose girlfriendcomes on the guy's trip with you to go golfing,
And meanwhile, she has no other friends withher.
Like, I hope you're not that guy who is blindedto the fact that nobody likes your girlfriend
(27:47):
or nobody likes your wife.
I'm not trying to break up marriages here.
I think you should figure out your way throughit.
If you're married, you're kind of yeah.
I mean, you're in it.
That's maybe a whole separate issue or topic.
But, if it's your girlfriend and nobody likesher, read the writing on the wall.
It's for your own good.
If you listen to the third verse of the songthat Hardy talks about, it's like, I know this
(28:09):
sucks.
Like, I know it's painful, but, like, I'm justtrying to save you a heartache down the road.
I'm trying to save you from the direction it'sgonna take your life, and it's not a great
direction with her in it.
So I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know if that made any sense to anybody.
That's my that's kind of a soft rant.
(28:31):
I think I'm gonna categorize my rants into,like, diabolical rant at one end of the
spectrum and then maybe a soft rant at theother end.
There's probably levels in between that.
This was kind of a soft rant.
Don't get stuck with a girlfriend that nobodylikes.
That's what I got.
Thanks for tuning in.
(28:51):
Thanks for listening to the soft rant.
This is the Purdium Podcast.
We will do it again tomorrow.
As always, pray you're getting your Purdue.
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