June 13, 2022 • 53 mins
Are you in a job that's stripping you of your true self? On this episode, Crystal shares her story of how she realized she was in the wrong career and what it took for her to make a change. She also offers advice for those who might be in a similar situation.
Crystal Simmons is a coach, podcaster and speaker who helps women who are ready to make a change in their lives. She has a background in the medical field and has always been passionate about helping others!
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. What it's like to realize you're in a job that's not right for you
2. How to deal with the challenges and stresses of making a big career change
3. The importance of self-awareness and understanding your own values.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Crystal Simmons (00:00):
I would create something in my head to tell me
not to try something. If itdidn't go the way I want it to
go, or if I didn't think it willgo the way I want it to go. Case
in point. Last year, I startedlooking for a part time job
basically to just invest in mybusiness so that I can have a
stable income while I'm growingmy coaching business. And my
podcasting was feeding. My brainsaid, Well, I only want to work
(00:24):
part time, there is a job thatwas available that was full
time, and sounded great, but Iwas not going to apply to this
full time. I just shut it down.
Instead of going back and say, Idon't know what full time looks
like for this job. I could getan interview, I can ask the
question, but for me to shut itdown was me protecting myself
because I didn't want to getfull time job. I didn't want to
(00:46):
be perceived as a failure as anentrepreneur by getting a job
period.
Jamie Stephens (00:56):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of
breaking up of corporate eachweek I chat with everyday women
that ditch their nine to five tobet on themselves. We break down
their journey intoentrepreneurship, unpack the
lessons learned and create thevision of how this life gets to
be if you're willing to getuncomfortable and step into your
potential. I'm your host, JamieRenee, to time corporate escapee
(01:19):
and coach to burnout womenlooking to plan their escape.
Let's go. Thank you for tuningin to another episode of
Breaking up with corporate. Myguest today is crystal Simmons.
Crystal is a coach podcaster andspeaker who helps women who are
ready to make a change in theirlives. She has a background in
(01:41):
the medical field and has alwaysbeen passionate about helping
others. In this episode, we'regonna cover what it's like to
realize you're in a job that'snot right for you how to deal
with the challenges and stressesof making a big career change,
and the importance of selfawareness and understanding your
own values.
Unknown (01:59):
Well, I'm thankful I'm here, Jamie, thank you. And
shout out to your listeners whoare present in this moment.
Because they are much likecrystal five years ago. So 2017
is when I began my journey,really realizing, oh, maybe
there's a different path. SoBarbara wine, younger crystal, I
(02:21):
started out wanting to helppeople, I started in medical
field, I thought about being anurse. And then no lie, I was
afraid of people dying on me. Idon't know why my brain went
there. But I was like, I don'twant my patients to die. But my
mom told me about becoming aradiologic technologist, which
is an x ray tech. And she waslike, you get to X ray bones.
And you know, just me beingcurious. I was like, oh, okay,
(02:44):
obviously, is way more thanthat, where there are bones, but
then you go to the O R, and thenyou have to go to the bedside.
And so I really enjoyedpatients, I enjoyed patients who
taught, I enjoyed patients whodidn't talk, because it allowed
me to still remain true to who Iwas, when I would go into a room
if a patient was unconscious,hey, this is Crystal from X ray,
(03:06):
I'm just going to slab thisboard I need you still given
that patient care is some nursesrespecting it. Some nurses like
you don't have to do that youcould just like you don't know
what they don't know, they mightbe able to hear me. And that
always stood out to me. I wantedto remain myself no matter the
situation. And looking back. Ididn't realize it at the time.
(03:27):
But I remembered the nurse and Iwas like why would I treat them
any differently? I don't know ifthey can hear me or not right.
But when I did my put my bestfoot forward. So I was an x ray
for almost 18 years as an x raytech. And then I got to teach
students to become an x raytech, different varying ages
where the youngest was like 18,all the way up to like 50 or 60
(03:49):
year old where they were doinganother career path, which I
always thought was like, Oh,wow, you had a full career and
then you want to go on X rayschool. That's where a little
light went off of Oh, can youcan switch things up?
Jamie Stephens (04:02):
I could change my mind.
Unknown (04:03):
Yes. Because little crystal for those who don't
know, I will say I was the goodchild of I don't want to get in
trouble. I want to do what isexpected of me. So that I'll
have happiness. Yeah. And whileI do think that helped me build
my work ethic. It did take awayfrom me venturing out and being
(04:24):
curious, and that is who I am bynature. And as I went down this
path of corporate, I was gettingpromoted, I was making more
money. I ended up workingalongside the director of
radiology 2017. And I knew whatI wanted to bring to the team. I
wanted to bring supporteducation. I wanted to break
(04:45):
collaboration with my employeeslike what is it that you need
because I'm no longer on thefloor anymore? But I remember
when I was on the floor. Is thishelpful if you had this and my
balls, bless her. I have nowforgiven Are because before it
was all horrible, but I dorecognize I play a part in that
relationship as well where Ineeded training. However, she
(05:08):
didn't get her training when shewas in that position. Yeah. So
she was just repeating what wasgiven to her. And although it
made me very frustrated, tookaway with my abilities, where I
realized in that situation,she's doing the best she can,
yeah, what she got. And I saythat because I was telling
(05:28):
Jamie, before we started, Inever wanted my own business, it
was never thought I would growup as a little girl that can't
wait to have my own, but nevernot in glee. But when I received
an invitation to go to a meetingfor this product based business,
I was like, why would I do that?
I am a Chief Technologistworking with the director of
Radiology. What do I look likeselling these products? No. But
(05:50):
things got really dark in thatcorporate job of bombing, I went
to the meeting, and there wasthe light. There are people who
do not know me, but they theythey had hope. Yeah. And I
didn't know how much hope Ididn't know. Until I go into a
room of humans that were justlike, hey, we're glad you're
here is like me, for real. Youdon't even know me. But they
(06:14):
gave me something I needed. Ididn't even know I needed. So
for those who are listeningright now, who may be working a
job or a career in this positionthat you thought it was going to
be something else, but you'refinding it is taken away from
who you are. Forgive yourself,it's okay. You're listening,
because you know, there'ssomething else out there. And it
(06:37):
might be from Jamie share herstory might be from her other
guests, it might be a story, orpieces of my story. Celebrate
that you are putting the piecesback together again. So I
decided to start this business.
This was 2018, I think when Istarted this product based
(07:00):
business, and that's when thejuices started flowing, like oh,
I actually like talking topeople. I like networking. I
like asking question, what is itthat you need? Do you like this,
and it gave me like a night andday perspective of I get to run
this business and grow it I haveno idea what I'm doing. But I
get to learn new things. Andthen I have this corporate job
(07:21):
is kind of draining but it'spaying my bills.
2019 is when I decided to leavethat corporate job completely. I
had an employee pass awayunexpectedly. And that a bit
shocked me to my core of I'mgoing to die in this job. And
I'm not exaggerating, I call myhusband stuttering. Like I don't
(07:45):
know what to do. I used to justhe was like, Do you want me to
pick you up loud? Yeah, I kepttrying to get out of my chair
Jamie in my office, which has nowindows, I was by myself. And
then later on, I will findmyself back in my chair, I was
like, I didn't get back to myclass, I could not leave that
room to talk to my boys aboutthat other employee pass it
away. And I remember calling mymom and telling her to like, I
(08:10):
can't do this anymore. And inthat moment, I had to forgive
myself for continuing down apath that I knew was taking less
are stripping me of me. And menot being able to speak up as
strongly as I wish I would havein the beginning of my knees, I
need this to function, meaning Ineed training. I need to be
(08:35):
supported, I need to beencouraged. The way you speak to
me is the meaning is nothelpful. And not to change them,
but to honor myself, right. Istarted doing that towards the
end. And that's when it clicked.
I was like, Oh, I can't stayhere because they're not
shifting. I'm trying to changethe system. I don't belong, like
I am a circle trying to fit intoa square. Like it's not going to
(09:00):
work. I tried, I forgive myself,I left. I am now a coach, who
coaches women who have said, I'mdone. I can't do this anymore.
And they realize they want tomake a change. That's who I
coach. And how I do that iscreating that safe space so that
they are heard for the thingsthey say to me, but also the
(09:23):
things they're not saying Ilistened for their energy shift
I listened for the breaths theytake when they're like I'm fine.
Jamie Stephens (09:34):
Like clearly clearly that's the case. What
does that fine. I
Unknown (09:37):
mean, what does that mean? But it really takes nine
judgment because I see myself inthem and I know what's possible
in those years back. I did notsee this occurring but soon as I
started listening to myself,soon as I started highlighting
what my values were and like Isaid to you, it was this is what
(09:58):
I need In order for me toflourish without it, do not
getting full crystal. And ifyou're okay with getting like a
quarter of crystal, then I don'tbelong here. And I'm Thank you,
and goodbye. The suggestion Iwould give to people because I
am a coach. Now. I'm a speaker,I'm a paid speaker, but I'm also
(10:21):
a podcaster. It came to me 2020.
So actually 2021 is when Istarted coaching, because I
realized with a product basedbusiness, I was still kind of in
a box following a pattern thatother people have set forth. And
I was like, No, I want to go outon my own. I want to take these
skills that I use to build myteam, to coach individuals who
(10:41):
are ready to move, who ready tomake a change. And I'm so
thankful I did that.
Unfortunately, I wish I wouldhave had a part time job while I
was doing that. Yeah. So I'llsay the things people maybe have
not said, and I didn't saybefore it either. When I left my
(11:03):
corporate job, I really wish Iwould have been more open to
working something just to helpsustain my mental. Am I just not
worried about paying the bills?
Yeah, like they got paid. But itwas a struggle, like I had my
husband. But remember, I left abig corporate job I was making
(11:27):
almost $70,000 a year.
Jamie Stephens (11:30):
Yeah. Which is hard to replace, just like that.
You know? Absolutely. Despitewhat you read on, on the
internet.
Unknown (11:38):
Yeah. That part, that part and recognizing that some
people's story, most peoplestory is not just the immediate
turnaround, it is what yougained, to build that business
to whatever that income is,right. And it took me a long
time to get there. Thankfully,my husband like, what's going
(11:59):
on, I left a job like two yearsago. So I really am blessed that
he supported me in our householdand feeding us, I was still able
to pay some of my bills. ButI'll tell you now, when I left
my corporate job, it was awful.
And I had one thought that cameto mind was, should I get a
(12:19):
therapist. And then the thoughtleft. So if you take nothing
from this interview, seeksupport through a therapist or a
coach. Because had I known whatI know now, and how a therapist
can help how a coach can help. Idefinitely could have like, kind
of not deterred, where I'm likestruggling pay bills, or let me
(12:44):
find a job. But let me do thisand taken away from that
creativity, when you're tryingto build a business or while
you're focusing on building thatsustainable business doing
something that you enjoy,
Jamie Stephens (12:56):
right, I can relate to so many aspects of
that story, just because it wasthis. I left corporate the first
time in 2018 with you know,being like, I am so done, I'm
set, you know, and I'm gonna dothis, I've got this t shirt
business going and I'm startinga blog, you know, and I think
I'm gonna make money in sixmonths. And I'm like, No, I'm
(13:18):
gonna be rolling and all thisaffiliate money you don't
understand. But yeah, I mean, Iended up going back to
corporate, but like, that timeis really what kicked off my
whole journey because I and itsounds like maybe you can
relate, but had so much of myidentity tied up into leading
(13:39):
that team and having thosepeople and having that role, as
you know, like, the corporatepicture, you know, everything
was tied up in them. So wheneverI left it, and it was funny,
because I was super angry. Yeah.
And it's only been within thelast maybe year that it's like,
Oh, I gotta roll in that. That'sthat's me to me. Not honoring
(14:01):
myself, me not doing the thingsthat I know when it's time to
leave, and I just kept pushingand pushing. And so I hear that
in your story, too. But you knowthat that breaking point? I
think we all have it. So I heardyou talk about forgiveness a lot
and like two or three differentoccasions. Tell me how you found
that that was the key for youand what your process is.
Unknown (14:30):
The easiest way to put that is our conscious, also
called inner compass wheresomething occurs, and I feel
like people would relate to thiswhere something happens you
immediately get upset like, Oh,why would you do that? That is a
(14:50):
sign for me that I've beenactivated, where someone has
done something that I expectthem not to Do but they did it
anyways. So when we put labelson other people, then we must
have put the label on ourselveslike, it goes back and forth. We
(15:12):
are all connected. And I know itmight be hard for some people to
get some people I think willunderstand what I'm saying. So
my process is, what do I know?
Right now in this moment? So wego back to my corporate job.
When I first started, HR hadreached out to me like, Hey,
welcome. It was an email, wehave this training, that's only
(15:33):
100 miles away. We had it atthis hotel is at a discounted
price. These are the days I sendthat email to my boss and my
boss's boss. My boss says, No, Idon't know if you should go. I
don't know we have funds forthat. I don't know if you had
time to do that. We might needyou here the hospital. Her boss
(15:54):
says, Yeah, go. My first thoughtwas, why would you want me to
go? So I was reacting to as aleader, you should want your new
employee to be trained. However,that's not her reality is mine.
So we were butting heads, ah, itstories got wilder and wilder, I
(16:18):
have to drop this story. I hadone of my employees, do
something with the patient andthe patient reported to patient
advocacy. And so I'm sittingdown talking to my ploy like,
Hey, this is what occurred. Iwas told this is what you did.
How can this be a bettersituation? Blah, blah, blah. And
it was like, Yeah, I probablyshouldn't have done that. I
(16:39):
probably shouldn't say that'sokay. So what was going on? Why
did you do that? Clarity. It wasa little coaching me. And we
came to a resolution. I saidthat employee email, follow up
email, just say hey, thanks formeeting, we talked about this.
It was discussed that goingforward, you will XYZ thank you
again, you have any questions?
(17:00):
Let me know if I miss anything,correct me if I need to ask
them, whatever. My boss tellsme, why would you do that?
That's so unprofessional. Whatwould you then in the email? Why
would you send a follow upemail? That is very
unprofessional, oneon one, cya. Cover your ass? And
thatis what HR told me because I was
(17:21):
like, what is the best way ofbeing able to communicate to our
employees like what is expectedthe policy decency? Like,
there's like, keep a track, butalso tell them what you spoke
about? Because they might notremember. So both of you are on
the same page. This is what wediscussed. This is what we
(17:43):
agree. Let's move forward. Yeah.
I was like, oh, yeah, that makessense, right. And now I've also
like, no. So things like thatkept happening where I'm like,
Okay, let me talk to somebodyelse. Tell my husband, my
husband tell his youngerbrother, who at the time was
like 18, he was like, wait,what? I thought that was being
professional. I'm like, How doesan 18 year old know this? And a
(18:05):
50 year old does it like, again,my reality was not her reality.
And once I got like, we are ontwo different planes. Like she's
playing football, and I'm overhere baking a cake. Yeah. We're
not even doing doing the samethings. Like it's just so that's
an old like, I'm, I'm reallytrying to force this. So ask
(18:27):
yourself, what is my reality?
What are what are my values, myvalue is having support and
support for me is having a gameplan, having training. If you've
hired me, we're in arelationship, I need to know
what to expect from me. Sothey're not gonna say, oh, yeah,
I love doing that. Or why theworkbook when that, like, me,
and my sisters will text. Wecould talk every so often. But
(18:50):
I'm not a big talker or thephone. Yeah, we can get
together. And they know thatthey talk amongst themselves all
the time. They'll talk to eachother in the morning. And then
in the evening. We're differentpeople, even though we share the
same blood. So just think aboutjust people you work with. But
you have to know who you areours. It always starts with us
first. And Jamie sounds like youwere on the process of really
(19:14):
uncovering more of yourself whenyou left as well, for sure.
Because that's what happened tome. I was like, Why did I get so
mad? And I was like, I wouldn'thave led a new employee like
that even when I had studenttechs who are working. I develop
a whole training plan by askingthe employees it like what do
(19:35):
you want the students to know?
Asking the student? What do youfeel uncomfortable with? So that
everyone is on the same page ofwhat is expected of this new
hire, so it just makes sense tome, but to her she didn't get
that. She didn't get toexperience that. So how, how
could she give it to me?
Jamie Stephens (19:53):
It's so interesting, too, because
there's things like within ourcareers that just seem so The
obvious that it's like, ofcourse, we need to train these
new employees that are here, weneed to give them the big
picture, not just a task, youknow, because if nobody gives a
shit about a task, right, theyneed to know how it impacts
(20:15):
everything else.
Unknown (20:18):
Say that part again.
Jamie Stephens (20:20):
Like there's so many people that don't get that
just common basic thing to whereit's like, if you're in that,
that is such a frustrating placeto be common sense here. Like
just basics.
Unknown (20:33):
Yeah. And it really is.
Their value may be I want to getall the tasks done, right. That
is not my value. Yeah. However,can we meet in the middle where
you're getting your tasks done,but yet I know what the impact
is of those tasks, right. But ifyou're not sharing it with me,
and I'm trying to share myperspective with you, and you're
(20:56):
like, No, no, no, no, no, no.
There's no collaboration. Acollaborating is one of my value
as working together. But if youjust want to throw stuff at me
Want me to catch it? I'm notyour girl. Yeah.
Jamie Stephens (21:10):
So tell me a little bit about your podcast. I
did listen to your littlecrystal episode, which I learned
a ladder and the I'm an 80s.
Baby too. So like those neonbackgrounds? The
Unknown (21:26):
Yes, class. Classic, like so my podcast title is
unstuck yourself with personalstenman. So you in stuck s t u
CK yourself with crystalSimmons. And it is a platform
for those who are stuck in acareer stuck in relationships
(21:47):
stuck in the mindset of this isthe way life should be? Why
isn't anyone conforming aroundme? So a lot of becomes where I
will ask a lot of questions. Asa coach, I ask a lot of
questions. Because Jamie, yourvalues may differ from mine. I
share my perspective based onpast experiences or things that
(22:09):
I'm doing currently. But I tossit back to the audience by
asking them questions to ponderon because I created crystals
AAA, widget. The first A isawareness. So soon as we
heighten our awareness of who weare, what we like what we don't
like, some people will say whyNo, I don't like that. That is
good. That is productive. Foryou to say I do not like when
(22:32):
people dismiss me. I do not likewhen people don't include me.
And you might not be able tolabel what it is that you do
like but as long as you knowwhat you don't you're making a
step towards Frogger gettingcloser. Yes. First a is
awareness. And then the second Ais ability, what am I able to
do? So even in that job? Beforeit was like, Okay, I'm just
(22:54):
going to like just take theinformation, she tossed it at
me, I'll take it. I'll just dothe work. And then I noticed,
okay, I have questions, suddenlyto ask them. She doesn't have
the answers to them. So when Istarted recognizing what I'm
able to do in a given situation,I could then decide if I want to
take action. And that's thethird day not taking an action
(23:16):
is an action. That is a choice.
Are you able to communicate? No,I don't want to do that. Because
it's not really vibing with me,it doesn't bring out the best
why? It doesn't bring out thebest sister. But what I can't do
is this. So it really goes backto you knowing you. Therapists
help to focus on the why theypass experiences, therapy helps
(23:41):
with just solving problems andlooking at situations like why
did that happen? Why did ithappen? I have a therapist and I
have a coach. Coach focuses onthe how do we move forward,
small steps, big steps. But bothof those require you to be open,
(24:01):
vulnerable, but trusting ofyourself. There's only one you
like that is your superpower.
You can't mess it up. You canget stuck by not speaking with
it as you want. But that's whyyou have all these resources
podcasting, that's where itstarted for me. But yeah, I
(24:22):
really want people to recognizetheir power. You are you in the
most beautiful way. And no onecan take that away from you. But
you by not showing them orexpanding that. But yeah, it's
best when the podcast is verychill. I laugh a lot. I have
(24:43):
pride is is a process for me toclear out some things for myself
because I'll have an idea what Iwant to talk about. Sometimes
other things just pop up likeOkay, I did not know this needed
to come out but I'm glad it cameout. And I want people to know
they're not in this alone. Um,as humans, we need connection.
(25:03):
Do
Jamie Stephens (25:05):
I think that that's been evident more over
the last couple of years? Youknow, I, I'm tend to be an
introvert and so I'm usuallyjust okay. I mean, it took a lot
longer than everybody else. Butfinally, I was like, Oh, I guess
I really do miss people.
Unknown (25:22):
Like, oh, yeah, I mean that.
I want to piggyback on that,because I think we are all a mix
of everything. I don't thinkwe're all one way. So just like
you even you said, it took you awhile, but you got there, like
your threshold may be a lotlarger than someone else's like,
no, I need people right now.
We've been elected for a week.
(25:42):
Yeah. And just the people wholove themselves. Like, it took
me a lot longer because I had myhusband. But then we got to the
point was like, alright, we needa break from jet. Like, I'm kind
of tired of seeing you likeevery, like I miss, you go into
work. And so it's alwaysinteresting to me how we'll have
something like artists, and nowthere's enough, let's move on to
(26:03):
something else. And I think themore we lean into that, and be
honest with that, and not feelguilty for it, the happier the
more joyful, we will be. It'sjust humans in acknowledging
what it is we want. And we'reable to change our mind. And if
we could change it again. It'sall good. It's all good.
Jamie Stephens (26:22):
I know that you were unhappy in your corporate
career, you had found this MLM?
And was that kind of the sparkthat got you on to the kind of
self development journey?
Unknown (26:34):
Absolutely. Anytime you do a business, especially why
where you had this bigcommunity, it is a personal
development first. Because nowyou're reaching out to people,
you may not know, you're meetingnew people, you're communicating
with them. And if you'rebuilding a team, you actually
have consultants that you'recoaching and learning their
(26:55):
style of leadership. And Inoticed I was leading from a
place of less, go less go aheadof reflect back of weight.
That's my goal, to grow thisbusiness, their goal is just to
hang around other people. Theymight sell products here and
there, but they really want thecommunity. And I had to humble
(27:17):
myself and talk to my myconsultant and apologize. Like,
I put my goal on to you. That isnot why I started this business.
The business was to buildcommunity, I didn't even care
about them. Like I told myhusband, I was like, I didn't
start this business to make1000s of dollars. I just wanted
to be around happy people. Butthen I started using products
people are like, what are youusing, and I would tell him
(27:39):
like, oh, this actually doeswork and people liked it. I had
not promoted this, this productfor since I started my coaching
business because I do not wantto confuse my audience. I am a
coach, I am a speaker. And thenmonths later, I became a
podcaster. So I will say I'm notgoing to promote this product. I
still have clients hitting meup. I still have clients buying
(28:02):
my business continues to grow. Icontinue to make money without
me saying a word for almost ayear. Which is sold you it is it
is the universe is God sayingLook what you can do, because
you built it. Now just let itgo. You don't have to force
anything. That's the biggest,biggest gift, I swear was
(28:28):
experiencing that of methinking, Oh, I gotta push, I
gotta hold on tight. I gottahold on. And then realize, like,
I'm gonna release it. And I'mgonna focus just on growing
coaching. That's it. And it justkept coming in. I was like, Oh,
wow, this is awesome. Like, sosometimes they always say, if
you release in it comes back toyou must be meant to be or
(28:49):
something like that. I think.
Yeah, chop that all up. That isdefinitely my experience where
if people want it, they will goget it. You don't have to
change. It's
Jamie Stephens (29:00):
not because you're the friend or will I have
to buy this because it's mysister or it's like, no, I
actually tried it. And I reallyYeah, that's it like, yeah,
that's it. That is it. Yeah.
What is that? Just because I'mcurious. Oh, it's Arbonne.
Unknown (29:16):
Oh, okay. Yeah, I
Jamie Stephens (29:17):
just, I actually just bought something from
another lady that I interviewednot too long ago because she was
a consultant too. And it'sfunny. I several, I mean,
Unknown (29:29):
this was like
Jamie Stephens (29:31):
2005 I mean, it was a long time ago, I used to
be an Arbonne consultant, TeamLeader and all of that. Yeah.
So, ya know, I love the product.
And
Unknown (29:42):
that's, that is the bit and that is why I decided to
start with this and it's becauseI know what people say about
these businesses, but I reallywas hesitant to even try because
I had never heard of it. Butthen the woman made some protein
bars and I'm like, This isreally good. And then And I told
her no, thank you. And then shebecause she was at the gym, she
(30:03):
came to the gym again, like twoweeks later, and I tried the bar
again. And I was like, stillgood. My brain was like this is
trash, you just put something init. It just, it made me feel
better learn more, becauseagain, I came from the medical
world, I did not know, dairy wasinflammatory. I didn't know what
(30:24):
gluten was. So I learned somuch. And the products were
good. And that is what attractedme to that. But also the
community of people saying, youknow, you can actually travel,
you know, you can actually leaveyour job if that is what you
choose, you know, you can tryother things like people who did
start as a consultant venturedout to doing something else it
(30:46):
is, it is the best way for me tohave experience great products,
but also how to run a business,how to market myself how to do
more research, how to connectwith new people, mentors, like,
it was just a happy bank full ofresources that I didn't even
know existed. That was thebiggest gift. And
Jamie Stephens (31:07):
also they have a big focus on like personal that
personal development. Yes, aswell. Yes. I mean, I think that
was probably my very firstintroduction.
Unknown (31:17):
That is what got me hooked to podcasts. Actually,
when I started, they had a lotof recordings where other
leaders from all over would havethem like the team meetings, or
they had like a conference orwhatever, they will put them on
SoundCloud. So my, what is itcalled upline? She was sent me
stuff and I'll listen mine down.
I'm like, Well, this one'sreally good. That's what got me
(31:39):
into the mode of oh, I canactually learn by like washing
the dishes while I'm showering,like, driving. This is amazing.
And that's when it startedclicking like, Oh, let me try a
podcast because my husband didsay you would like a podcast. I
was like, what is the podcast?
He's like, it's like the radio,like, how do you choose one?
(31:59):
Like, you know, we have ourfavorite radio stations because
they play our favorite songs.
But how do I do the podcast? Butthat is what started it. I'm
glad you brought that up.
Jamie Stephens (32:10):
Admittedly, there needs to be a better
system a search button for Imean, for pi. Because that is
even finding new podcasts. It's,I mean, it's not a problem now,
because we're in this group. Andthere's amazing things
happening. But like before,where you're trying to find
something or something that kindof interest you it's like, it'll
(32:30):
pull up the same 10 podcasts.
And it's like, no, like, I'veI'm not jiving like what else
out there. But yeah, there's anopportunity there for somebody
somebody techie to solve thatproblem.
Unknown (32:44):
And I would say because I didn't like finding stuff that
I didn't like, meaning. I thinkit's part of my perfectionism,
which I just discovered that Ihad, I did not know, I was a
perfectionist. And what thatlooks like is I would create
something in my head to tell menot to try something, if it
(33:07):
didn't go the way I want it togo, or if I didn't think it will
go the way I want to go. Case inpoint. Last year, I started
looking for a part time jobbasically to just invest in my
business so that I can have astable income while I'm growing
my coaching business. And mypodcasting was feeding. My brain
said, Well, I only want to workpart time, there was a job that
(33:29):
was available full time. And itsounded great. But I was not
going to apply to this fulltime. I just shut it down.
Instead of going back and say, Idon't know what full time looks
like for this job. I could getan interview, I can ask the
question. But for me to shut itdown. Was me protecting myself
(33:49):
because I didn't want to getfull time job. I didn't want to
be perceived as a failure as anentrepreneur by getting a job
period. So once I talked to mytherapist about it, I then came
to the realization like I couldactually go to the interview, I
could apply I can ask question,and that's what happened. I
(34:09):
didn't get the position. But itwasn't. It wasn't a good fit
once I went to the interview,which is what I should have done
from the beginning. So there wasanother incident where I found a
job and I asked the woman whotold me about the jobs like is
this full time or part time shewas like I think it's some I
think it's part time or fulltime and I was like I don't want
(34:31):
apply then I just started makingup stories in my head or why I
couldn't do this thing in mybrain will just create another
scenario where I told mytherapist once I found out
there's a part time job and thenI was like But what if I take
the job? I don't want to quitit. In case this like I just
started making up stuff. Soyeah, it's just super random,
(34:54):
just super random. And different
Jamie Stephens (34:56):
scenarios applied to it whenever you're
you're just like Just shut up,just go explore
Unknown (35:01):
it just for your brain,
Jamie Stephens (35:03):
we'll take a hike, just simmer down was just
a tip I
Unknown (35:07):
would give as your brain has been most of us, our
brain has been on autopilot fordecades. So it's gonna take time
to really pause that. Andmeditation has helped me
tremendously, where I starteddoing it probably a couple of
years ago, but I will sayconsistently, probably the last
four or five months, was almostevery single day.
Jamie Stephens (35:30):
Yeah, I'm a big meditator, it makes a huge
difference just in the way thatI show up for me. I mean,
otherwise, it's, I don't knowwhy, but I tend to lean towards
angry whenever I'm, you know,whatever, I'm not alive, not in
a good space. You know, it'sjust like, everybody just pisses
(35:51):
me off. You know, I mean, that'skind of my default, where it's
like, yeah, so there's really, Imean, I've been doing it
consistently for two years ormore now. And that's just part
of who I am. Now. It's not evenjust a thing that I do. So it's,
I'm a meditator, you know. Andit's, I mean, that just makes a
huge difference. And in my life,whenever you can just adopt
(36:12):
those things. And really, Imean, I think it's another level
whenever it becomes a part ofyour identity, and some, you
know, just embodying that onsuch a different level.
Unknown (36:22):
And I want people to understand that, because we
meditate, we're not just like,Oh, we're perfect at it, we sit
down and mind doesn't wanderbecause when I talk to people
chase, they will say, I've triedmeditating, I just can't do it.
I'm like, Tell me more. They'relike, my brain be going, I'm
like, Yeah, that happens everytime. So I'll it's the brain.
(36:43):
Yes, it is doing what it'ssupposed to do. But you'll
notice yourself as you continue,how you don't react, like, Ah,
stop running, like stop thinkingof scenario, you'd be like, Look
at me thinking about what I'msupposed to do later, your
reaction is lessened, you'reable to actually see what's
(37:04):
going on and not respond soquickly or so aggressively. And
that is what meditation is, isnot how soundly can you be is
how much are you aware. So maybewe meditate for 10 minutes, and
your brain has been going andright at the end, near the nine
minute mark. You're like, Oh, myGod, I've been thinking this
(37:26):
whole time you get it? You wereaware, I was just dreaming and
thinking about that is whatmeditation is because I do feel
like a lot of people say I can'tmeditate, I do it wrong. If you
sit down, and you're still youare meditating. Yeah, period,
there's no grading system atall. And for some, it could be a
(37:53):
walk for some I heard on anotherpodcast, a woman was saying how
she will stare at like a flowerand just look at the colors in
the pedals. And she's like,that's my former meditating on
never tried it, or like a treeand just, it is being silent,
present. And just acknowledge,like, your brain goes like up
there it is, again, and we'llcome back to this tree.
Jamie Stephens (38:16):
You know, I think there was something that
you said in there aboutresponding. And I think that
that is like the key difference,at least for me, it was just it
gives me that practice, pause ofthat little break between
reacting and responding tosomething because it's just that
(38:36):
split second to where you'relike, Oh, let me check myself
first. And then also, yeah. Andthat's what meditation does is
it lets you it's quick breaks?
Is this really where you'regoing? Like, is this what you
wanted? You know?
Unknown (38:52):
Yes. Those who are listening, rewind this part back
to Tim seconds, because Jamiejust dropped a bomb of that is
that is to cheat code. Like incoaching. It is our
responsibility as a coach tojust create the space so that
the client can be more aware,more conscious of, maybe I do
(39:16):
want to be angry in this moment.
So I'm going to choose that.
Maybe I do want to be morepatient and just listen. But you
want to be able to choose. Areyou choosing to react that way?
Or is that just autopilot? Whensomething happens? I tell people
you get on my nerves. Weirritate me Leave me alone, or
(39:37):
is it like hey, I'm reallytired. Like I'm really really
tired. Can you give me a coupleminutes? Or I don't want to
talk? Right? Can we talktomorrow? Are you choosing your
response? Or is your brainchoosing for you based on past
experiences? That is whatcoaching does
Jamie Stephens (39:56):
and meditation and all I mean, that's all of
that. I mean, come on. is justpower.
Unknown (40:02):
Yes, yeah. It's like brushing your teeth. Some people
use mouthwash some people laws,some people use the little
sticks to floss, some old schoolaround the finger like, it's
just tools for a healthy mouth.
And then you go to thedentist's. So you have all of
these tools, we, I just wantpeople to know that there are
(40:23):
resources for our well being tomentally, physically,
spiritually, there's so manyresources, and there's nothing
wrong with you for wanting oneor three, you get to decide,
Jamie Stephens (40:38):
tell me about some of your favorite resources
to stay well to stay sharp andall the things
Unknown (40:45):
is definitely recognizing that there is a
higher higher power other thanme, universe, God, all of it, it
encompasses love. But it startswith self love, I love walking
around, there's this big lakelike this big lake, I think
maybe just big body of wateraround the clubhouse. That is
(41:08):
one place that always comes me.
There's geese flying, you hearbirds chirping. And it's just a
constant reminder of there'slife going on all around us. And
it's beautiful. No matter what'sgoing on. Just being out in
nature is free. And for some Iknow it might not be safe or for
some, whatever the case may be,but just looking outside of
(41:31):
seeing the sun is theme birdsand life, it brings me so much
joy sitting down in the grass,in my backyard, play with my
dog, walk in the neighborhoodwith my husband, and my dog.
These are things that are free,that I have come to really
appreciate. Because I've sloweddown and I didn't have that
(41:53):
corporate job anymore. Where Ivalue those walls I value the
time to just sit. No amount ofmoney can take that from me. No,
I want to go outside I want toplay like none. Doing that.
Meditating, talking to family.
(42:14):
And being vulnerable with peoplethat I'm learning the last
couple of years of asking forhelp telling people when I'm
hurt or sad, and not having tofix everything on my own. Yeah,
as women, we could do it. We cando all ended some. But it came
(42:35):
to me that it's lonely doingthat. It's disconnecting with
others when I do that. Andreally, are we able to do it
all? Like how much better wouldit be if we can actually take a
little break and let someoneelse Shani.
(42:55):
Haddow present.
And that is the gift that I'mgiving myself. allowing people
to help me allowing people tosupport me. But it requires me
to speak up and say, Hey, I'mhaving an event I want you to
come not expecting them. Butjust say this is what I need.
(43:18):
And this is what I want. Ohyeah, you know, we'll be there
like, oh, wow, okay, or like,oh, girl, I'm busy. But tell
them when the next one come.
Okay. Giving myself that gift.
And that would be the biggesttakeaway is for those who are
the doodles, I got it. But youkeep finding yourself in this
mode of I can't do everything.
And I'm I'm tired of everybodythinking I can breathe. But also
(43:41):
recognize your part in it. Haveyou asked for help? Have you
told people when you need abreak instead
Jamie Stephens (43:52):
of resentful start? When they're done that
you know about you use yourwords?
Unknown (44:00):
Yes, sometimes it will take you telling them more than
once I'm learning that as well.
And it's not for them to get it.
It is a gift to yourself of thisis what I wanted. And maybe they
forget, hey, this is what Iwant. You did tell me that this
is what I want. Like you get tothat that feeling of having that
(44:23):
voice is empowering you. It'salmost not a I'm not able to put
into words of the feeling ispeace. I'm okay with expressing
this is what I want. I'm okaywith. Okay, it's been it's been
a year. Yeah, I still want that.
Or, oh, it's been six monthswhat they were.
Jamie Stephens (44:42):
And I think that that I mean, there's so much
bravery in that, right? Becausewe tend to just do things
because that's what we'reexpected to do versus ruffle
feathers versus honoringourselves versus you know, it's
like well, I mean, I juststarted this I can't do
something else now. I can't Ishouldn't You know, all of those
things, don't make it out offear. I mean, those aren't fear
(45:04):
decisions. Just make sure thatit's actually coming from a
place of contemplation andyou've sat with it. But yeah,
really honoring that, and justsaying, No, this, I don't care
what anybody else thinks this iswhat I'm going to do, and how
I'm going to do it. And
Unknown (45:20):
yeah, I love that. And I will end with a question of,
how does it feel, to dismisswhat it is that you know, you
want and need to give somebodywhat they expect? Like they
still don't know. They'reguessing? Because they don't
know you? You know you. That'slike me telling Jamie, your
(45:42):
favorite food is shrimp. What'syour favorite food? Jamie? Not
shrimp. Exactly. Like, but Ilike shrimp. So you were
friends. You gotta like shrimpso we can eat shrimp together?
Yeah,
Jamie Stephens (45:54):
I'll totally eat shrimp. But not you know, I
mean, it's but yeah, I guess
Unknown (45:59):
now is weird. Because now we're together. And I'm
like, eat your friend. Like,what's wrong with you? Why
aren't you eating your? But Ithought we like safe. Like,
we're we're both not gettingwhat we want. Right? If you told
me that is not my favorite food.
Oh, cool. What's your favoritefood? I love that too. Now we
get to talk about this otherthing. People may have
expectations for you. But it'sbecause sometimes what we have
(46:24):
presented Yes. Forgive yourselfor what you present it up into
this point. Now create a sharewho you truly are. Small steps.
Small steps. It doesn't have tobe major. It could be food.
Someone thinks you like trip.
(46:44):
Hey, guess what? I don'tactually don't like Trump. Why
butyou've eaten it. Even for the
last three years? Yeah.
I've been eating it because Ilove being around you. I do not
like to drink. Yeah. And you getto you get to it is bravery. But
you what, what a gift to giveyourself of knowing this person
(47:06):
likes meat, even though I don'tcare too much for shrimp. It
sounds silly. But it really isthat simple. You get to figure
out who likes you and loves youfor you is not the best gift.
Yes. It's beautiful. It's noteasy.
It's not easy. Facts.
(47:27):
And that's what we haveresources. Yes. It is not easy.
Jamie Stephens (47:31):
All of the resources. Yeah. Well, because
there's that. A lot of shame. Ithink that we carry because of
what we've done in the past andwho we've presented ourselves to
be, and then how you know, allof that has to be undone and
kind of you just kind of have tobreak and build yourself back up
again. Yeah. And it's just partof the process. And it's all
(47:53):
good. Yeah, awesome. Crystal,tell people where they can find
more about you all the placesand who you help. And if you've
got any programs coming up allof the things.
Unknown (48:05):
Thank you, Jamie. And for those who are listening, and
you felt something like a shift,I would encourage you take the
next step of reaching out to mywebsite, crystal clear purposes,
is C ry s, Sal, clear si l e, ARand then purposes purp o s, e
(48:26):
s.com. And we can schedule aclarity call. In these Clarity
Calls, we get to focus on eachother, do we mesh well? Is
coaching a good fit for you? Isthis a good fit for you? If not,
I know other coaches that canhelp you on taking that next
small step. Because had I knowwhat I know now, I definitely
(48:48):
would have made more productiveand more progression in my
journey of leaving corporatebecause I could have shared my
fears. Of what I really lovepatients. I really love my
employees, but this is killingme. And having that sounding
board of a make sense how youhaving this decision, leaving
(49:12):
this job to honor yourself? How?
Yes, it makes sense. All of thatmakes sense. Then we get to
process like what could be asmallest step. So I love doing
the Clarity Calls because everytime I have them, I never know
where they're gonna go becausethe client always has the
answers. Always in forever. Youhave them within you. So
definitely my website crystalclear purposes.com But also, I'm
(49:33):
on Instagram at Crystal Clearpurposes as well. I post here
and there sometimes I go lie. Ishare some tidbits about
coaching and what that lookslike. But the podcast unstuck
yourself with crystal Simmons, Ihave weekly podcast episodes
that come out every Wednesdaythat pertain to unstuck in
(49:53):
yourself in difficultconversations, stuck in yourself
with therapy versus coachingthings of that nature. But yeah,
you get to get a feel of who Iam, how I present information,
how much fun I am, but also justbuild a wisdom of just past
experiences, being able to lookback at how I could have done
(50:16):
things differently. So thatpeople who were in the situation
I was, what, five years ago,they can do it in a way where
they see themselves in some ofmy stories and be like, okay,
yeah, so she did, I could do it.
But I'm going to do it this way.
And that's the best part. Youget to make it your own. So
yeah, I would love to connect,please reach out. And tell me
what you think about thisepisode with me, Jamie. That'd
(50:38):
be cool. All right.
Jamie Stephens (50:40):
Thank you so much.
Unknown (50:42):
Thank you. Thanks so
Jamie Stephens (50:44):
much to Crystal for being on the show today. A
few of the key takeaways fromthis conversation include,
number one, understand thateveryone has their own reality.
When you're working with peoplebe aware that your expectations,
ethics, priorities andviewpoints may not necessarily
align. Instead of getting angry,get curious. Number two, know
(51:06):
yourself and your own values, itbecomes easier to understand the
reality you're living in and theway you're reacting to something
when you take the time toidentify your values. When
you're triggered by somethingsomeone says chances are your
values are not aligning with thesituation. Let that be a point
of discussion to find what worksfor both of you. Number three,
(51:28):
don't forget the humanconnection. Even introverts
eventually reach a point wherethey miss connecting with other
people, find your people andstart connecting. Number four,
go from shutting it down toshutting up and exploring if
there's something that's got youcurious, but your brain spews a
million reasons on why it won'twork before you even have a
(51:48):
chance to explore it. That's afear response. Just get quiet
and explore the ways that itmight work out. Number five,
meditation gives you power whenyou meditate you gain the
awareness of your thoughts. Withpractice, you can learn to
respond with your desiredoutcome in mind, versus reacting
in the moment. This is the sameskill that coaches use to hold
(52:11):
space and listen to theirclients. Number six, connect
with something bigger. Whateveris your thing, God universe
nature, connect to the biggerpicture and the beauty that
surrounds us to help you get outof the narrow focus of your own
problems. Number seven, honoryourself by being vulnerable.
Open up to those around you askfor help when you need it. You
(52:33):
don't have to do everythingyourself. But people can't read
your mind begin to separate thetrue you and the you that you
have presented yourself to be upto that point. Okay, once again,
thanks to Krystal for being onthe show and I have linked
everything in the show notes.
And that is it for this week.
Thank you for tuning in toanother episode of Breaking up
(52:54):
with corporate and I just wantedto let you know I've made it
super easy to leave a review forthe show, just click the link in
the episode description and itwill give you instructions on
how to leave a rating and reviewwith the app that you're using.
You have no idea how much thishelps. I really appreciate you
and I hope you have a fantasticweek.
I would create something in my head to tell me
not to try something. If itdidn't go the way I want it to
go, or if I didn't think it willgo the way I want it to go. Case
in point. Last year, I startedlooking for a part time job
basically to just invest in mybusiness so that I can have a
stable income while I'm growingmy coaching business. And my
podcasting was feeding. My brainsaid, Well, I only want to work
(00:24):
part time, there is a job thatwas available that was full
time, and sounded great, but Iwas not going to apply to this
full time. I just shut it down.
Instead of going back and say, Idon't know what full time looks
like for this job. I could getan interview, I can ask the
question, but for me to shut itdown was me protecting myself
because I didn't want to getfull time job. I didn't want to
(00:46):
be perceived as a failure as anentrepreneur by getting a job
period.
Jamie Stephens (00:56):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of
breaking up of corporate eachweek I chat with everyday women
that ditch their nine to five tobet on themselves. We break down
their journey intoentrepreneurship, unpack the
lessons learned and create thevision of how this life gets to
be if you're willing to getuncomfortable and step into your
potential. I'm your host, JamieRenee, to time corporate escapee
(01:19):
and coach to burnout womenlooking to plan their escape.
Let's go. Thank you for tuningin to another episode of
Breaking up with corporate. Myguest today is crystal Simmons.
Crystal is a coach podcaster andspeaker who helps women who are
ready to make a change in theirlives. She has a background in
(01:41):
the medical field and has alwaysbeen passionate about helping
others. In this episode, we'regonna cover what it's like to
realize you're in a job that'snot right for you how to deal
with the challenges and stressesof making a big career change,
and the importance of selfawareness and understanding your
own values.
Unknown (01:59):
Well, I'm thankful I'm here, Jamie, thank you. And
shout out to your listeners whoare present in this moment.
Because they are much likecrystal five years ago. So 2017
is when I began my journey,really realizing, oh, maybe
there's a different path. SoBarbara wine, younger crystal, I
(02:21):
started out wanting to helppeople, I started in medical
field, I thought about being anurse. And then no lie, I was
afraid of people dying on me. Idon't know why my brain went
there. But I was like, I don'twant my patients to die. But my
mom told me about becoming aradiologic technologist, which
is an x ray tech. And she waslike, you get to X ray bones.
And you know, just me beingcurious. I was like, oh, okay,
(02:44):
obviously, is way more thanthat, where there are bones, but
then you go to the O R, and thenyou have to go to the bedside.
And so I really enjoyedpatients, I enjoyed patients who
taught, I enjoyed patients whodidn't talk, because it allowed
me to still remain true to who Iwas, when I would go into a room
if a patient was unconscious,hey, this is Crystal from X ray,
(03:06):
I'm just going to slab thisboard I need you still given
that patient care is some nursesrespecting it. Some nurses like
you don't have to do that youcould just like you don't know
what they don't know, they mightbe able to hear me. And that
always stood out to me. I wantedto remain myself no matter the
situation. And looking back. Ididn't realize it at the time.
(03:27):
But I remembered the nurse and Iwas like why would I treat them
any differently? I don't know ifthey can hear me or not right.
But when I did my put my bestfoot forward. So I was an x ray
for almost 18 years as an x raytech. And then I got to teach
students to become an x raytech, different varying ages
where the youngest was like 18,all the way up to like 50 or 60
(03:49):
year old where they were doinganother career path, which I
always thought was like, Oh,wow, you had a full career and
then you want to go on X rayschool. That's where a little
light went off of Oh, can youcan switch things up?
Jamie Stephens (04:02):
I could change my mind.
Unknown (04:03):
Yes. Because little crystal for those who don't
know, I will say I was the goodchild of I don't want to get in
trouble. I want to do what isexpected of me. So that I'll
have happiness. Yeah. And whileI do think that helped me build
my work ethic. It did take awayfrom me venturing out and being
(04:24):
curious, and that is who I am bynature. And as I went down this
path of corporate, I was gettingpromoted, I was making more
money. I ended up workingalongside the director of
radiology 2017. And I knew whatI wanted to bring to the team. I
wanted to bring supporteducation. I wanted to break
(04:45):
collaboration with my employeeslike what is it that you need
because I'm no longer on thefloor anymore? But I remember
when I was on the floor. Is thishelpful if you had this and my
balls, bless her. I have nowforgiven Are because before it
was all horrible, but I dorecognize I play a part in that
relationship as well where Ineeded training. However, she
(05:08):
didn't get her training when shewas in that position. Yeah. So
she was just repeating what wasgiven to her. And although it
made me very frustrated, tookaway with my abilities, where I
realized in that situation,she's doing the best she can,
yeah, what she got. And I saythat because I was telling
(05:28):
Jamie, before we started, Inever wanted my own business, it
was never thought I would growup as a little girl that can't
wait to have my own, but nevernot in glee. But when I received
an invitation to go to a meetingfor this product based business,
I was like, why would I do that?
I am a Chief Technologistworking with the director of
Radiology. What do I look likeselling these products? No. But
(05:50):
things got really dark in thatcorporate job of bombing, I went
to the meeting, and there wasthe light. There are people who
do not know me, but they theythey had hope. Yeah. And I
didn't know how much hope Ididn't know. Until I go into a
room of humans that were justlike, hey, we're glad you're
here is like me, for real. Youdon't even know me. But they
(06:14):
gave me something I needed. Ididn't even know I needed. So
for those who are listeningright now, who may be working a
job or a career in this positionthat you thought it was going to
be something else, but you'refinding it is taken away from
who you are. Forgive yourself,it's okay. You're listening,
because you know, there'ssomething else out there. And it
(06:37):
might be from Jamie share herstory might be from her other
guests, it might be a story, orpieces of my story. Celebrate
that you are putting the piecesback together again. So I
decided to start this business.
This was 2018, I think when Istarted this product based
(07:00):
business, and that's when thejuices started flowing, like oh,
I actually like talking topeople. I like networking. I
like asking question, what is itthat you need? Do you like this,
and it gave me like a night andday perspective of I get to run
this business and grow it I haveno idea what I'm doing. But I
get to learn new things. Andthen I have this corporate job
(07:21):
is kind of draining but it'spaying my bills.
2019 is when I decided to leavethat corporate job completely. I
had an employee pass awayunexpectedly. And that a bit
shocked me to my core of I'mgoing to die in this job. And
I'm not exaggerating, I call myhusband stuttering. Like I don't
(07:45):
know what to do. I used to justhe was like, Do you want me to
pick you up loud? Yeah, I kepttrying to get out of my chair
Jamie in my office, which has nowindows, I was by myself. And
then later on, I will findmyself back in my chair, I was
like, I didn't get back to myclass, I could not leave that
room to talk to my boys aboutthat other employee pass it
away. And I remember calling mymom and telling her to like, I
(08:10):
can't do this anymore. And inthat moment, I had to forgive
myself for continuing down apath that I knew was taking less
are stripping me of me. And menot being able to speak up as
strongly as I wish I would havein the beginning of my knees, I
need this to function, meaning Ineed training. I need to be
(08:35):
supported, I need to beencouraged. The way you speak to
me is the meaning is nothelpful. And not to change them,
but to honor myself, right. Istarted doing that towards the
end. And that's when it clicked.
I was like, Oh, I can't stayhere because they're not
shifting. I'm trying to changethe system. I don't belong, like
I am a circle trying to fit intoa square. Like it's not going to
(09:00):
work. I tried, I forgive myself,I left. I am now a coach, who
coaches women who have said, I'mdone. I can't do this anymore.
And they realize they want tomake a change. That's who I
coach. And how I do that iscreating that safe space so that
they are heard for the thingsthey say to me, but also the
(09:23):
things they're not saying Ilistened for their energy shift
I listened for the breaths theytake when they're like I'm fine.
Jamie Stephens (09:34):
Like clearly clearly that's the case. What
does that fine. I
Unknown (09:37):
mean, what does that mean? But it really takes nine
judgment because I see myself inthem and I know what's possible
in those years back. I did notsee this occurring but soon as I
started listening to myself,soon as I started highlighting
what my values were and like Isaid to you, it was this is what
(09:58):
I need In order for me toflourish without it, do not
getting full crystal. And ifyou're okay with getting like a
quarter of crystal, then I don'tbelong here. And I'm Thank you,
and goodbye. The suggestion Iwould give to people because I
am a coach. Now. I'm a speaker,I'm a paid speaker, but I'm also
(10:21):
a podcaster. It came to me 2020.
So actually 2021 is when Istarted coaching, because I
realized with a product basedbusiness, I was still kind of in
a box following a pattern thatother people have set forth. And
I was like, No, I want to go outon my own. I want to take these
skills that I use to build myteam, to coach individuals who
(10:41):
are ready to move, who ready tomake a change. And I'm so
thankful I did that.
Unfortunately, I wish I wouldhave had a part time job while I
was doing that. Yeah. So I'llsay the things people maybe have
not said, and I didn't saybefore it either. When I left my
(11:03):
corporate job, I really wish Iwould have been more open to
working something just to helpsustain my mental. Am I just not
worried about paying the bills?
Yeah, like they got paid. But itwas a struggle, like I had my
husband. But remember, I left abig corporate job I was making
(11:27):
almost $70,000 a year.
Jamie Stephens (11:30):
Yeah. Which is hard to replace, just like that.
You know? Absolutely. Despitewhat you read on, on the
internet.
Unknown (11:38):
Yeah. That part, that part and recognizing that some
people's story, most peoplestory is not just the immediate
turnaround, it is what yougained, to build that business
to whatever that income is,right. And it took me a long
time to get there. Thankfully,my husband like, what's going
(11:59):
on, I left a job like two yearsago. So I really am blessed that
he supported me in our householdand feeding us, I was still able
to pay some of my bills. ButI'll tell you now, when I left
my corporate job, it was awful.
And I had one thought that cameto mind was, should I get a
(12:19):
therapist. And then the thoughtleft. So if you take nothing
from this interview, seeksupport through a therapist or a
coach. Because had I known whatI know now, and how a therapist
can help how a coach can help. Idefinitely could have like, kind
of not deterred, where I'm likestruggling pay bills, or let me
(12:44):
find a job. But let me do thisand taken away from that
creativity, when you're tryingto build a business or while
you're focusing on building thatsustainable business doing
something that you enjoy,
Jamie Stephens (12:56):
right, I can relate to so many aspects of
that story, just because it wasthis. I left corporate the first
time in 2018 with you know,being like, I am so done, I'm
set, you know, and I'm gonna dothis, I've got this t shirt
business going and I'm startinga blog, you know, and I think
I'm gonna make money in sixmonths. And I'm like, No, I'm
(13:18):
gonna be rolling and all thisaffiliate money you don't
understand. But yeah, I mean, Iended up going back to
corporate, but like, that timeis really what kicked off my
whole journey because I and itsounds like maybe you can
relate, but had so much of myidentity tied up into leading
(13:39):
that team and having thosepeople and having that role, as
you know, like, the corporatepicture, you know, everything
was tied up in them. So wheneverI left it, and it was funny,
because I was super angry. Yeah.
And it's only been within thelast maybe year that it's like,
Oh, I gotta roll in that. That'sthat's me to me. Not honoring
(14:01):
myself, me not doing the thingsthat I know when it's time to
leave, and I just kept pushingand pushing. And so I hear that
in your story, too. But you knowthat that breaking point? I
think we all have it. So I heardyou talk about forgiveness a lot
and like two or three differentoccasions. Tell me how you found
that that was the key for youand what your process is.
Unknown (14:30):
The easiest way to put that is our conscious, also
called inner compass wheresomething occurs, and I feel
like people would relate to thiswhere something happens you
immediately get upset like, Oh,why would you do that? That is a
(14:50):
sign for me that I've beenactivated, where someone has
done something that I expectthem not to Do but they did it
anyways. So when we put labelson other people, then we must
have put the label on ourselveslike, it goes back and forth. We
(15:12):
are all connected. And I know itmight be hard for some people to
get some people I think willunderstand what I'm saying. So
my process is, what do I know?
Right now in this moment? So wego back to my corporate job.
When I first started, HR hadreached out to me like, Hey,
welcome. It was an email, wehave this training, that's only
(15:33):
100 miles away. We had it atthis hotel is at a discounted
price. These are the days I sendthat email to my boss and my
boss's boss. My boss says, No, Idon't know if you should go. I
don't know we have funds forthat. I don't know if you had
time to do that. We might needyou here the hospital. Her boss
(15:54):
says, Yeah, go. My first thoughtwas, why would you want me to
go? So I was reacting to as aleader, you should want your new
employee to be trained. However,that's not her reality is mine.
So we were butting heads, ah, itstories got wilder and wilder, I
(16:18):
have to drop this story. I hadone of my employees, do
something with the patient andthe patient reported to patient
advocacy. And so I'm sittingdown talking to my ploy like,
Hey, this is what occurred. Iwas told this is what you did.
How can this be a bettersituation? Blah, blah, blah. And
it was like, Yeah, I probablyshouldn't have done that. I
(16:39):
probably shouldn't say that'sokay. So what was going on? Why
did you do that? Clarity. It wasa little coaching me. And we
came to a resolution. I saidthat employee email, follow up
email, just say hey, thanks formeeting, we talked about this.
It was discussed that goingforward, you will XYZ thank you
again, you have any questions?
(17:00):
Let me know if I miss anything,correct me if I need to ask
them, whatever. My boss tellsme, why would you do that?
That's so unprofessional. Whatwould you then in the email? Why
would you send a follow upemail? That is very
unprofessional, oneon one, cya. Cover your ass? And
thatis what HR told me because I was
(17:21):
like, what is the best way ofbeing able to communicate to our
employees like what is expectedthe policy decency? Like,
there's like, keep a track, butalso tell them what you spoke
about? Because they might notremember. So both of you are on
the same page. This is what wediscussed. This is what we
(17:43):
agree. Let's move forward. Yeah.
I was like, oh, yeah, that makessense, right. And now I've also
like, no. So things like thatkept happening where I'm like,
Okay, let me talk to somebodyelse. Tell my husband, my
husband tell his youngerbrother, who at the time was
like 18, he was like, wait,what? I thought that was being
professional. I'm like, How doesan 18 year old know this? And a
(18:05):
50 year old does it like, again,my reality was not her reality.
And once I got like, we are ontwo different planes. Like she's
playing football, and I'm overhere baking a cake. Yeah. We're
not even doing doing the samethings. Like it's just so that's
an old like, I'm, I'm reallytrying to force this. So ask
(18:27):
yourself, what is my reality?
What are what are my values, myvalue is having support and
support for me is having a gameplan, having training. If you've
hired me, we're in arelationship, I need to know
what to expect from me. Sothey're not gonna say, oh, yeah,
I love doing that. Or why theworkbook when that, like, me,
and my sisters will text. Wecould talk every so often. But
(18:50):
I'm not a big talker or thephone. Yeah, we can get
together. And they know thatthey talk amongst themselves all
the time. They'll talk to eachother in the morning. And then
in the evening. We're differentpeople, even though we share the
same blood. So just think aboutjust people you work with. But
you have to know who you areours. It always starts with us
first. And Jamie sounds like youwere on the process of really
(19:14):
uncovering more of yourself whenyou left as well, for sure.
Because that's what happened tome. I was like, Why did I get so
mad? And I was like, I wouldn'thave led a new employee like
that even when I had studenttechs who are working. I develop
a whole training plan by askingthe employees it like what do
(19:35):
you want the students to know?
Asking the student? What do youfeel uncomfortable with? So that
everyone is on the same page ofwhat is expected of this new
hire, so it just makes sense tome, but to her she didn't get
that. She didn't get toexperience that. So how, how
could she give it to me?
Jamie Stephens (19:53):
It's so interesting, too, because
there's things like within ourcareers that just seem so The
obvious that it's like, ofcourse, we need to train these
new employees that are here, weneed to give them the big
picture, not just a task, youknow, because if nobody gives a
shit about a task, right, theyneed to know how it impacts
(20:15):
everything else.
Unknown (20:18):
Say that part again.
Jamie Stephens (20:20):
Like there's so many people that don't get that
just common basic thing to whereit's like, if you're in that,
that is such a frustrating placeto be common sense here. Like
just basics.
Unknown (20:33):
Yeah. And it really is.
Their value may be I want to getall the tasks done, right. That
is not my value. Yeah. However,can we meet in the middle where
you're getting your tasks done,but yet I know what the impact
is of those tasks, right. But ifyou're not sharing it with me,
and I'm trying to share myperspective with you, and you're
(20:56):
like, No, no, no, no, no, no.
There's no collaboration. Acollaborating is one of my value
as working together. But if youjust want to throw stuff at me
Want me to catch it? I'm notyour girl. Yeah.
Jamie Stephens (21:10):
So tell me a little bit about your podcast. I
did listen to your littlecrystal episode, which I learned
a ladder and the I'm an 80s.
Baby too. So like those neonbackgrounds? The
Unknown (21:26):
Yes, class. Classic, like so my podcast title is
unstuck yourself with personalstenman. So you in stuck s t u
CK yourself with crystalSimmons. And it is a platform
for those who are stuck in acareer stuck in relationships
(21:47):
stuck in the mindset of this isthe way life should be? Why
isn't anyone conforming aroundme? So a lot of becomes where I
will ask a lot of questions. Asa coach, I ask a lot of
questions. Because Jamie, yourvalues may differ from mine. I
share my perspective based onpast experiences or things that
(22:09):
I'm doing currently. But I tossit back to the audience by
asking them questions to ponderon because I created crystals
AAA, widget. The first A isawareness. So soon as we
heighten our awareness of who weare, what we like what we don't
like, some people will say whyNo, I don't like that. That is
good. That is productive. Foryou to say I do not like when
(22:32):
people dismiss me. I do not likewhen people don't include me.
And you might not be able tolabel what it is that you do
like but as long as you knowwhat you don't you're making a
step towards Frogger gettingcloser. Yes. First a is
awareness. And then the second Ais ability, what am I able to
do? So even in that job? Beforeit was like, Okay, I'm just
(22:54):
going to like just take theinformation, she tossed it at
me, I'll take it. I'll just dothe work. And then I noticed,
okay, I have questions, suddenlyto ask them. She doesn't have
the answers to them. So when Istarted recognizing what I'm
able to do in a given situation,I could then decide if I want to
take action. And that's thethird day not taking an action
(23:16):
is an action. That is a choice.
Are you able to communicate? No,I don't want to do that. Because
it's not really vibing with me,it doesn't bring out the best
why? It doesn't bring out thebest sister. But what I can't do
is this. So it really goes backto you knowing you. Therapists
help to focus on the why theypass experiences, therapy helps
(23:41):
with just solving problems andlooking at situations like why
did that happen? Why did ithappen? I have a therapist and I
have a coach. Coach focuses onthe how do we move forward,
small steps, big steps. But bothof those require you to be open,
(24:01):
vulnerable, but trusting ofyourself. There's only one you
like that is your superpower.
You can't mess it up. You canget stuck by not speaking with
it as you want. But that's whyyou have all these resources
podcasting, that's where itstarted for me. But yeah, I
(24:22):
really want people to recognizetheir power. You are you in the
most beautiful way. And no onecan take that away from you. But
you by not showing them orexpanding that. But yeah, it's
best when the podcast is verychill. I laugh a lot. I have
(24:43):
pride is is a process for me toclear out some things for myself
because I'll have an idea what Iwant to talk about. Sometimes
other things just pop up likeOkay, I did not know this needed
to come out but I'm glad it cameout. And I want people to know
they're not in this alone. Um,as humans, we need connection.
(25:03):
Do
Jamie Stephens (25:05):
I think that that's been evident more over
the last couple of years? Youknow, I, I'm tend to be an
introvert and so I'm usuallyjust okay. I mean, it took a lot
longer than everybody else. Butfinally, I was like, Oh, I guess
I really do miss people.
Unknown (25:22):
Like, oh, yeah, I mean that.
I want to piggyback on that,because I think we are all a mix
of everything. I don't thinkwe're all one way. So just like
you even you said, it took you awhile, but you got there, like
your threshold may be a lotlarger than someone else's like,
no, I need people right now.
We've been elected for a week.
(25:42):
Yeah. And just the people wholove themselves. Like, it took
me a lot longer because I had myhusband. But then we got to the
point was like, alright, we needa break from jet. Like, I'm kind
of tired of seeing you likeevery, like I miss, you go into
work. And so it's alwaysinteresting to me how we'll have
something like artists, and nowthere's enough, let's move on to
(26:03):
something else. And I think themore we lean into that, and be
honest with that, and not feelguilty for it, the happier the
more joyful, we will be. It'sjust humans in acknowledging
what it is we want. And we'reable to change our mind. And if
we could change it again. It'sall good. It's all good.
Jamie Stephens (26:22):
I know that you were unhappy in your corporate
career, you had found this MLM?
And was that kind of the sparkthat got you on to the kind of
self development journey?
Unknown (26:34):
Absolutely. Anytime you do a business, especially why
where you had this bigcommunity, it is a personal
development first. Because nowyou're reaching out to people,
you may not know, you're meetingnew people, you're communicating
with them. And if you'rebuilding a team, you actually
have consultants that you'recoaching and learning their
(26:55):
style of leadership. And Inoticed I was leading from a
place of less, go less go aheadof reflect back of weight.
That's my goal, to grow thisbusiness, their goal is just to
hang around other people. Theymight sell products here and
there, but they really want thecommunity. And I had to humble
(27:17):
myself and talk to my myconsultant and apologize. Like,
I put my goal on to you. That isnot why I started this business.
The business was to buildcommunity, I didn't even care
about them. Like I told myhusband, I was like, I didn't
start this business to make1000s of dollars. I just wanted
to be around happy people. Butthen I started using products
people are like, what are youusing, and I would tell him
(27:39):
like, oh, this actually doeswork and people liked it. I had
not promoted this, this productfor since I started my coaching
business because I do not wantto confuse my audience. I am a
coach, I am a speaker. And thenmonths later, I became a
podcaster. So I will say I'm notgoing to promote this product. I
still have clients hitting meup. I still have clients buying
(28:02):
my business continues to grow. Icontinue to make money without
me saying a word for almost ayear. Which is sold you it is it
is the universe is God sayingLook what you can do, because
you built it. Now just let itgo. You don't have to force
anything. That's the biggest,biggest gift, I swear was
(28:28):
experiencing that of methinking, Oh, I gotta push, I
gotta hold on tight. I gottahold on. And then realize, like,
I'm gonna release it. And I'mgonna focus just on growing
coaching. That's it. And it justkept coming in. I was like, Oh,
wow, this is awesome. Like, sosometimes they always say, if
you release in it comes back toyou must be meant to be or
(28:49):
something like that. I think.
Yeah, chop that all up. That isdefinitely my experience where
if people want it, they will goget it. You don't have to
change. It's
Jamie Stephens (29:00):
not because you're the friend or will I have
to buy this because it's mysister or it's like, no, I
actually tried it. And I reallyYeah, that's it like, yeah,
that's it. That is it. Yeah.
What is that? Just because I'mcurious. Oh, it's Arbonne.
Unknown (29:16):
Oh, okay. Yeah, I
Jamie Stephens (29:17):
just, I actually just bought something from
another lady that I interviewednot too long ago because she was
a consultant too. And it'sfunny. I several, I mean,
Unknown (29:29):
this was like
Jamie Stephens (29:31):
2005 I mean, it was a long time ago, I used to
be an Arbonne consultant, TeamLeader and all of that. Yeah.
So, ya know, I love the product.
And
Unknown (29:42):
that's, that is the bit and that is why I decided to
start with this and it's becauseI know what people say about
these businesses, but I reallywas hesitant to even try because
I had never heard of it. Butthen the woman made some protein
bars and I'm like, This isreally good. And then And I told
her no, thank you. And then shebecause she was at the gym, she
(30:03):
came to the gym again, like twoweeks later, and I tried the bar
again. And I was like, stillgood. My brain was like this is
trash, you just put something init. It just, it made me feel
better learn more, becauseagain, I came from the medical
world, I did not know, dairy wasinflammatory. I didn't know what
(30:24):
gluten was. So I learned somuch. And the products were
good. And that is what attractedme to that. But also the
community of people saying, youknow, you can actually travel,
you know, you can actually leaveyour job if that is what you
choose, you know, you can tryother things like people who did
start as a consultant venturedout to doing something else it
(30:46):
is, it is the best way for me tohave experience great products,
but also how to run a business,how to market myself how to do
more research, how to connectwith new people, mentors, like,
it was just a happy bank full ofresources that I didn't even
know existed. That was thebiggest gift. And
Jamie Stephens (31:07):
also they have a big focus on like personal that
personal development. Yes, aswell. Yes. I mean, I think that
was probably my very firstintroduction.
Unknown (31:17):
That is what got me hooked to podcasts. Actually,
when I started, they had a lotof recordings where other
leaders from all over would havethem like the team meetings, or
they had like a conference orwhatever, they will put them on
SoundCloud. So my, what is itcalled upline? She was sent me
stuff and I'll listen mine down.
I'm like, Well, this one'sreally good. That's what got me
(31:39):
into the mode of oh, I canactually learn by like washing
the dishes while I'm showering,like, driving. This is amazing.
And that's when it startedclicking like, Oh, let me try a
podcast because my husband didsay you would like a podcast. I
was like, what is the podcast?
He's like, it's like the radio,like, how do you choose one?
(31:59):
Like, you know, we have ourfavorite radio stations because
they play our favorite songs.
But how do I do the podcast? Butthat is what started it. I'm
glad you brought that up.
Jamie Stephens (32:10):
Admittedly, there needs to be a better
system a search button for Imean, for pi. Because that is
even finding new podcasts. It's,I mean, it's not a problem now,
because we're in this group. Andthere's amazing things
happening. But like before,where you're trying to find
something or something that kindof interest you it's like, it'll
(32:30):
pull up the same 10 podcasts.
And it's like, no, like, I'veI'm not jiving like what else
out there. But yeah, there's anopportunity there for somebody
somebody techie to solve thatproblem.
Unknown (32:44):
And I would say because I didn't like finding stuff that
I didn't like, meaning. I thinkit's part of my perfectionism,
which I just discovered that Ihad, I did not know, I was a
perfectionist. And what thatlooks like is I would create
something in my head to tell menot to try something, if it
(33:07):
didn't go the way I want it togo, or if I didn't think it will
go the way I want to go. Case inpoint. Last year, I started
looking for a part time jobbasically to just invest in my
business so that I can have astable income while I'm growing
my coaching business. And mypodcasting was feeding. My brain
said, Well, I only want to workpart time, there was a job that
(33:29):
was available full time. And itsounded great. But I was not
going to apply to this fulltime. I just shut it down.
Instead of going back and say, Idon't know what full time looks
like for this job. I could getan interview, I can ask the
question. But for me to shut itdown. Was me protecting myself
(33:49):
because I didn't want to getfull time job. I didn't want to
be perceived as a failure as anentrepreneur by getting a job
period. So once I talked to mytherapist about it, I then came
to the realization like I couldactually go to the interview, I
could apply I can ask question,and that's what happened. I
(34:09):
didn't get the position. But itwasn't. It wasn't a good fit
once I went to the interview,which is what I should have done
from the beginning. So there wasanother incident where I found a
job and I asked the woman whotold me about the jobs like is
this full time or part time shewas like I think it's some I
think it's part time or fulltime and I was like I don't want
(34:31):
apply then I just started makingup stories in my head or why I
couldn't do this thing in mybrain will just create another
scenario where I told mytherapist once I found out
there's a part time job and thenI was like But what if I take
the job? I don't want to quitit. In case this like I just
started making up stuff. Soyeah, it's just super random,
(34:54):
just super random. And different
Jamie Stephens (34:56):
scenarios applied to it whenever you're
you're just like Just shut up,just go explore
Unknown (35:01):
it just for your brain,
Jamie Stephens (35:03):
we'll take a hike, just simmer down was just
a tip I
Unknown (35:07):
would give as your brain has been most of us, our
brain has been on autopilot fordecades. So it's gonna take time
to really pause that. Andmeditation has helped me
tremendously, where I starteddoing it probably a couple of
years ago, but I will sayconsistently, probably the last
four or five months, was almostevery single day.
Jamie Stephens (35:30):
Yeah, I'm a big meditator, it makes a huge
difference just in the way thatI show up for me. I mean,
otherwise, it's, I don't knowwhy, but I tend to lean towards
angry whenever I'm, you know,whatever, I'm not alive, not in
a good space. You know, it'sjust like, everybody just pisses
(35:51):
me off. You know, I mean, that'skind of my default, where it's
like, yeah, so there's really, Imean, I've been doing it
consistently for two years ormore now. And that's just part
of who I am. Now. It's not evenjust a thing that I do. So it's,
I'm a meditator, you know. Andit's, I mean, that just makes a
huge difference. And in my life,whenever you can just adopt
(36:12):
those things. And really, Imean, I think it's another level
whenever it becomes a part ofyour identity, and some, you
know, just embodying that onsuch a different level.
Unknown (36:22):
And I want people to understand that, because we
meditate, we're not just like,Oh, we're perfect at it, we sit
down and mind doesn't wanderbecause when I talk to people
chase, they will say, I've triedmeditating, I just can't do it.
I'm like, Tell me more. They'relike, my brain be going, I'm
like, Yeah, that happens everytime. So I'll it's the brain.
(36:43):
Yes, it is doing what it'ssupposed to do. But you'll
notice yourself as you continue,how you don't react, like, Ah,
stop running, like stop thinkingof scenario, you'd be like, Look
at me thinking about what I'msupposed to do later, your
reaction is lessened, you'reable to actually see what's
(37:04):
going on and not respond soquickly or so aggressively. And
that is what meditation is, isnot how soundly can you be is
how much are you aware. So maybewe meditate for 10 minutes, and
your brain has been going andright at the end, near the nine
minute mark. You're like, Oh, myGod, I've been thinking this
(37:26):
whole time you get it? You wereaware, I was just dreaming and
thinking about that is whatmeditation is because I do feel
like a lot of people say I can'tmeditate, I do it wrong. If you
sit down, and you're still youare meditating. Yeah, period,
there's no grading system atall. And for some, it could be a
(37:53):
walk for some I heard on anotherpodcast, a woman was saying how
she will stare at like a flowerand just look at the colors in
the pedals. And she's like,that's my former meditating on
never tried it, or like a treeand just, it is being silent,
present. And just acknowledge,like, your brain goes like up
there it is, again, and we'llcome back to this tree.
Jamie Stephens (38:16):
You know, I think there was something that
you said in there aboutresponding. And I think that
that is like the key difference,at least for me, it was just it
gives me that practice, pause ofthat little break between
reacting and responding tosomething because it's just that
(38:36):
split second to where you'relike, Oh, let me check myself
first. And then also, yeah. Andthat's what meditation does is
it lets you it's quick breaks?
Is this really where you'regoing? Like, is this what you
wanted? You know?
Unknown (38:52):
Yes. Those who are listening, rewind this part back
to Tim seconds, because Jamiejust dropped a bomb of that is
that is to cheat code. Like incoaching. It is our
responsibility as a coach tojust create the space so that
the client can be more aware,more conscious of, maybe I do
(39:16):
want to be angry in this moment.
So I'm going to choose that.
Maybe I do want to be morepatient and just listen. But you
want to be able to choose. Areyou choosing to react that way?
Or is that just autopilot? Whensomething happens? I tell people
you get on my nerves. Weirritate me Leave me alone, or
(39:37):
is it like hey, I'm reallytired. Like I'm really really
tired. Can you give me a coupleminutes? Or I don't want to
talk? Right? Can we talktomorrow? Are you choosing your
response? Or is your brainchoosing for you based on past
experiences? That is whatcoaching does
Jamie Stephens (39:56):
and meditation and all I mean, that's all of
that. I mean, come on. is justpower.
Unknown (40:02):
Yes, yeah. It's like brushing your teeth. Some people
use mouthwash some people laws,some people use the little
sticks to floss, some old schoolaround the finger like, it's
just tools for a healthy mouth.
And then you go to thedentist's. So you have all of
these tools, we, I just wantpeople to know that there are
(40:23):
resources for our well being tomentally, physically,
spiritually, there's so manyresources, and there's nothing
wrong with you for wanting oneor three, you get to decide,
Jamie Stephens (40:38):
tell me about some of your favorite resources
to stay well to stay sharp andall the things
Unknown (40:45):
is definitely recognizing that there is a
higher higher power other thanme, universe, God, all of it, it
encompasses love. But it startswith self love, I love walking
around, there's this big lakelike this big lake, I think
maybe just big body of wateraround the clubhouse. That is
(41:08):
one place that always comes me.
There's geese flying, you hearbirds chirping. And it's just a
constant reminder of there'slife going on all around us. And
it's beautiful. No matter what'sgoing on. Just being out in
nature is free. And for some Iknow it might not be safe or for
some, whatever the case may be,but just looking outside of
(41:31):
seeing the sun is theme birdsand life, it brings me so much
joy sitting down in the grass,in my backyard, play with my
dog, walk in the neighborhoodwith my husband, and my dog.
These are things that are free,that I have come to really
appreciate. Because I've sloweddown and I didn't have that
(41:53):
corporate job anymore. Where Ivalue those walls I value the
time to just sit. No amount ofmoney can take that from me. No,
I want to go outside I want toplay like none. Doing that.
Meditating, talking to family.
(42:14):
And being vulnerable with peoplethat I'm learning the last
couple of years of asking forhelp telling people when I'm
hurt or sad, and not having tofix everything on my own. Yeah,
as women, we could do it. We cando all ended some. But it came
(42:35):
to me that it's lonely doingthat. It's disconnecting with
others when I do that. Andreally, are we able to do it
all? Like how much better wouldit be if we can actually take a
little break and let someoneelse Shani.
(42:55):
Haddow present.
And that is the gift that I'mgiving myself. allowing people
to help me allowing people tosupport me. But it requires me
to speak up and say, Hey, I'mhaving an event I want you to
come not expecting them. Butjust say this is what I need.
(43:18):
And this is what I want. Ohyeah, you know, we'll be there
like, oh, wow, okay, or like,oh, girl, I'm busy. But tell
them when the next one come.
Okay. Giving myself that gift.
And that would be the biggesttakeaway is for those who are
the doodles, I got it. But youkeep finding yourself in this
mode of I can't do everything.
And I'm I'm tired of everybodythinking I can breathe. But also
(43:41):
recognize your part in it. Haveyou asked for help? Have you
told people when you need abreak instead
Jamie Stephens (43:52):
of resentful start? When they're done that
you know about you use yourwords?
Unknown (44:00):
Yes, sometimes it will take you telling them more than
once I'm learning that as well.
And it's not for them to get it.
It is a gift to yourself of thisis what I wanted. And maybe they
forget, hey, this is what Iwant. You did tell me that this
is what I want. Like you get tothat that feeling of having that
(44:23):
voice is empowering you. It'salmost not a I'm not able to put
into words of the feeling ispeace. I'm okay with expressing
this is what I want. I'm okaywith. Okay, it's been it's been
a year. Yeah, I still want that.
Or, oh, it's been six monthswhat they were.
Jamie Stephens (44:42):
And I think that that I mean, there's so much
bravery in that, right? Becausewe tend to just do things
because that's what we'reexpected to do versus ruffle
feathers versus honoringourselves versus you know, it's
like well, I mean, I juststarted this I can't do
something else now. I can't Ishouldn't You know, all of those
things, don't make it out offear. I mean, those aren't fear
(45:04):
decisions. Just make sure thatit's actually coming from a
place of contemplation andyou've sat with it. But yeah,
really honoring that, and justsaying, No, this, I don't care
what anybody else thinks this iswhat I'm going to do, and how
I'm going to do it. And
Unknown (45:20):
yeah, I love that. And I will end with a question of,
how does it feel, to dismisswhat it is that you know, you
want and need to give somebodywhat they expect? Like they
still don't know. They'reguessing? Because they don't
know you? You know you. That'slike me telling Jamie, your
(45:42):
favorite food is shrimp. What'syour favorite food? Jamie? Not
shrimp. Exactly. Like, but Ilike shrimp. So you were
friends. You gotta like shrimpso we can eat shrimp together?
Yeah,
Jamie Stephens (45:54):
I'll totally eat shrimp. But not you know, I
mean, it's but yeah, I guess
Unknown (45:59):
now is weird. Because now we're together. And I'm
like, eat your friend. Like,what's wrong with you? Why
aren't you eating your? But Ithought we like safe. Like,
we're we're both not gettingwhat we want. Right? If you told
me that is not my favorite food.
Oh, cool. What's your favoritefood? I love that too. Now we
get to talk about this otherthing. People may have
expectations for you. But it'sbecause sometimes what we have
(46:24):
presented Yes. Forgive yourselfor what you present it up into
this point. Now create a sharewho you truly are. Small steps.
Small steps. It doesn't have tobe major. It could be food.
Someone thinks you like trip.
(46:44):
Hey, guess what? I don'tactually don't like Trump. Why
butyou've eaten it. Even for the
last three years? Yeah.
I've been eating it because Ilove being around you. I do not
like to drink. Yeah. And you getto you get to it is bravery. But
you what, what a gift to giveyourself of knowing this person
(47:06):
likes meat, even though I don'tcare too much for shrimp. It
sounds silly. But it really isthat simple. You get to figure
out who likes you and loves youfor you is not the best gift.
Yes. It's beautiful. It's noteasy.
It's not easy. Facts.
(47:27):
And that's what we haveresources. Yes. It is not easy.
Jamie Stephens (47:31):
All of the resources. Yeah. Well, because
there's that. A lot of shame. Ithink that we carry because of
what we've done in the past andwho we've presented ourselves to
be, and then how you know, allof that has to be undone and
kind of you just kind of have tobreak and build yourself back up
again. Yeah. And it's just partof the process. And it's all
(47:53):
good. Yeah, awesome. Crystal,tell people where they can find
more about you all the placesand who you help. And if you've
got any programs coming up allof the things.
Unknown (48:05):
Thank you, Jamie. And for those who are listening, and
you felt something like a shift,I would encourage you take the
next step of reaching out to mywebsite, crystal clear purposes,
is C ry s, Sal, clear si l e, ARand then purposes purp o s, e
(48:26):
s.com. And we can schedule aclarity call. In these Clarity
Calls, we get to focus on eachother, do we mesh well? Is
coaching a good fit for you? Isthis a good fit for you? If not,
I know other coaches that canhelp you on taking that next
small step. Because had I knowwhat I know now, I definitely
(48:48):
would have made more productiveand more progression in my
journey of leaving corporatebecause I could have shared my
fears. Of what I really lovepatients. I really love my
employees, but this is killingme. And having that sounding
board of a make sense how youhaving this decision, leaving
(49:12):
this job to honor yourself? How?
Yes, it makes sense. All of thatmakes sense. Then we get to
process like what could be asmallest step. So I love doing
the Clarity Calls because everytime I have them, I never know
where they're gonna go becausethe client always has the
answers. Always in forever. Youhave them within you. So
definitely my website crystalclear purposes.com But also, I'm
(49:33):
on Instagram at Crystal Clearpurposes as well. I post here
and there sometimes I go lie. Ishare some tidbits about
coaching and what that lookslike. But the podcast unstuck
yourself with crystal Simmons, Ihave weekly podcast episodes
that come out every Wednesdaythat pertain to unstuck in
(49:53):
yourself in difficultconversations, stuck in yourself
with therapy versus coachingthings of that nature. But yeah,
you get to get a feel of who Iam, how I present information,
how much fun I am, but also justbuild a wisdom of just past
experiences, being able to lookback at how I could have done
(50:16):
things differently. So thatpeople who were in the situation
I was, what, five years ago,they can do it in a way where
they see themselves in some ofmy stories and be like, okay,
yeah, so she did, I could do it.
But I'm going to do it this way.
And that's the best part. Youget to make it your own. So
yeah, I would love to connect,please reach out. And tell me
what you think about thisepisode with me, Jamie. That'd
(50:38):
be cool. All right.
Jamie Stephens (50:40):
Thank you so much.
Unknown (50:42):
Thank you. Thanks so
Jamie Stephens (50:44):
much to Crystal for being on the show today. A
few of the key takeaways fromthis conversation include,
number one, understand thateveryone has their own reality.
When you're working with peoplebe aware that your expectations,
ethics, priorities andviewpoints may not necessarily
align. Instead of getting angry,get curious. Number two, know
(51:06):
yourself and your own values, itbecomes easier to understand the
reality you're living in and theway you're reacting to something
when you take the time toidentify your values. When
you're triggered by somethingsomeone says chances are your
values are not aligning with thesituation. Let that be a point
of discussion to find what worksfor both of you. Number three,
(51:28):
don't forget the humanconnection. Even introverts
eventually reach a point wherethey miss connecting with other
people, find your people andstart connecting. Number four,
go from shutting it down toshutting up and exploring if
there's something that's got youcurious, but your brain spews a
million reasons on why it won'twork before you even have a
(51:48):
chance to explore it. That's afear response. Just get quiet
and explore the ways that itmight work out. Number five,
meditation gives you power whenyou meditate you gain the
awareness of your thoughts. Withpractice, you can learn to
respond with your desiredoutcome in mind, versus reacting
in the moment. This is the sameskill that coaches use to hold
(52:11):
space and listen to theirclients. Number six, connect
with something bigger. Whateveris your thing, God universe
nature, connect to the biggerpicture and the beauty that
surrounds us to help you get outof the narrow focus of your own
problems. Number seven, honoryourself by being vulnerable.
Open up to those around you askfor help when you need it. You
(52:33):
don't have to do everythingyourself. But people can't read
your mind begin to separate thetrue you and the you that you
have presented yourself to be upto that point. Okay, once again,
thanks to Krystal for being onthe show and I have linked
everything in the show notes.
And that is it for this week.
Thank you for tuning in toanother episode of Breaking up
(52:54):
with corporate and I just wantedto let you know I've made it
super easy to leave a review forthe show, just click the link in
the episode description and itwill give you instructions on
how to leave a rating and reviewwith the app that you're using.
You have no idea how much thishelps. I really appreciate you
and I hope you have a fantasticweek.
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