August 15, 2022 • 40 mins
After 17 years in corporate, Laura Russell had seen and felt her fair share of layoffs. So when her calendar invite came she decided to walk away with a severance and a passion for coaching. Listen in on this conversation as Laura and I chat about what this first full year of business has looked like and the hard lessons learned.
In this episode, you'll hear about:
1. Giving yourself permission instead of waiting for it.
2. Navigating the messy middle.
3. The value of community.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
So another thing that I learned is absolutely how
(00:03):
critical it is to rest. Yes,actually taking care of yourself
and like prioritizing yourself.
And I know ever, it's, I mean,it is a thing. It's like self
care everywhere. But it'sbecause it's important. It is
important because if you can'ttake care of yourself, you're
absolutely no good to anybodyelse. Your employer, your kids,
(00:24):
your family, your friends. And Ilearned that the hard way
because as I was going for thethings that I really wanted with
my coaching, I was enjoying itso much. And I was learning so
much, and I was so like, gung hoabout it, that I didn't rest and
let things integrate. And Iburnt myself out, and I'm still
healing from that stupid mistakeand that learning.
Jamie Stephens (00:49):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of
breaking up a corporate eachweek I chat with everyday women
that ditch their nine to five tobet on themselves. We break down
their journey intoentrepreneurship, unpack the
lessons learned and create thevision of how this life gets to
be if you're willing to getuncomfortable and step into your
potential. I'm your host, JamieRenee, to time corporate escapee
(01:13):
and coach to burnout womenlooking to plan their escape.
Let's go.
Hello, and welcome back toanother episode of Breaking up
with corporate today. I have afellow northwest Arkansas girl
on the show today. And I amexcited to introduce you to
(01:36):
Laura Russell. Laura is yourauthentic self help coach Laura,
go ahead and tell us what thatmeans.
Unknown (01:44):
Yes, so I, I love self improvement. And I absolutely it
is so important. And I've alsodiscovered that there are some
little things that could be donea little bit better with the
whole self help industry. And soI'm taking an unself help
approach within my coaching tohelp you get changed a little
(02:06):
bit different way and getunstuck.
Jamie Stephens (02:09):
So, Laura, tell us about your corporate career
and kind of what led up to thisformat. Yeah, to where you're at
and kind of how did we get here?
Unknown (02:23):
Yeah. So I am, like, many most people in Northwest
Arkansas, Walmart, so Walmarthome office, and was there for
17 years, I worked in a coupleof different divisions, but the
most of it was in IT projectmanagement process management
(02:43):
PMO. And I didn't hate it, but Ididn't love it. But it paid
well. That's pretty much in anutshell. And I was doing okay
until a lot of new leadershipcame in, like they do in
corporate. And they starteddoing a lot of layoffs, and
moving our team around, whichwas mostly support. So that's
(03:07):
also what they do. I landed on ateam after a very large layoff
that cut 75% of my team. Oh,yeah. And there is such a thing
as survivor's guilt. As well astrying to, like pick up the
pieces from all the work. Yeah,it still has to go on.
Jamie Stephens (03:30):
Yeah, the work doesn't get cut by 75%. Correct.
Unknown (03:35):
But they also put us under leadership that didn't
really know what direction theywanted to go. And they did not
have a clue what to do with us.
So that few of us that wereleft, really pretty much we just
tread water for three, fourmonths. And because there was
also the layoffs going on, itwas like Okay, so now in the
(03:55):
sitting doc, yeah. And I don'tlike this feeling whatsoever.
Um, so at that point, I think itwas like 3233, I decided that I
really needed to figure out whatI wanted to be when I grew up,
which was probably the firsttime ever, that I really allowed
myself to do that. Because I'm asingle mom. And I'd been in work
(04:18):
I'd been working in, just keepgoing since I since I graduated
college, because I'd had them at2023 24 and then just never
started. So I hired my firstcareer coach. And that was when
I started really getting to knowmyself. Like it started with my
(04:43):
career. Because it's such a hugepart of our life. Like it I'm
very fond, very driven and I'mvery goal oriented, sometimes to
my detriment. And so it justkind of My eyes, like, actually
looking at what I wanted, notjust out of my career, but like,
(05:06):
what I wanted my day to looklike, what were the things that
I needed in my life to like,feel fulfilled. And I know
that's a complete life Kochiword. But it's like that feeling
of fulfillment, like, like whatI was doing actually mattered.
Jamie Stephens (05:23):
I mean, but that's the goal, right? I mean,
Unknown (05:25):
yeah, otherwise, we're just here like bumping around
and other people.
Jamie Stephens (05:30):
Like, I don't think I, I think that there's
this stigma where it's like, oh,you're one of those people like,
oh, yeah, I'm one of thosepeople that control of my life.
Nice to me, too. It's like,
Unknown (05:42):
it's like I started living intentional. Yeah. Before
it very much was, yeah, therewere like intentional parts to
it. But it very much was like onautopilot. Just do what you have
to do to get through the day.
Yeah, just get through the day.
And then I started looking atlike, Oh, my day I can, I can
actually enjoy my day, huh,
Jamie Stephens (06:02):
that's interesting, you kind of get
stuck in that survival mode,where like, you don't see
anything else, even long pastwhen you can, like, hit the
brakes a little.
Unknown (06:13):
Yeah. I mean, you literally are living day to day.
And it's like, every day feelsthe same. It's like the same to
do list the same drive to work.
And it's just kind of gray. Thatwas where it started. And, and I
will say I didn't leavecorporate until this last year.
So I started that journey in2017. I didn't leave till 2021.
(06:35):
So there was four years there,where I was still actively
building my business, I wasstill in my job. And, and it was
so weird, because like, as Ifound purpose, and joy in my
coaching, it transferred over tomy day job, even though there
(06:57):
was still the shitty, all thecorporate stuff that always goes
on anymore. It's like I hadchoices. And I and I gave myself
the permission to make choiceswithin it, instead of just going
along with the flow of do asyou're told. And it was so
(07:19):
interesting to me, because likeI actually, within my day job, I
was transferred to teams, wherethey were I was learning skills
that have helped me so muchwithin my coaching, like I was
on a learning and developmentteam creating software
development. Yeah, trainings,just collected with like, agile
(07:43):
software development, growthmindset. It was, it was and it
was literally learning the stepsof how to create training
programs. I do that in my I dothat now. So I got paid to learn
it. Yeah, while I was there, soit just changed it.
Jamie Stephens (07:59):
Yeah, you and I were talking about this the
other day is just kind of thethe reframe that you, you know,
that you can have once you startto do this work, because it even
whenever it's like, Okay, maybenot my ideal situation, but
recognizing that, okay, I'm herefor a reason. There's something
(08:19):
for me here. What is it that I'mhere to learn? Or how am I
supposed to grow through thissituation? Because we can only
see it? On the flip side, right?
Like after we've already beenthrough it. So like, just
building that trust that it'sthere before you can see it, you
know,
Unknown (08:37):
well in it. And it was if I kind of like knowing that
hindsight, 2020 thing. I know Istarted coaching to get out of
corporate. Yeah, that is Iwanted out and I wanted out now.
However, I wasn't ready to beout. Yeah. Now, like I was not
developed yet as a person. Ididn't have the skill set. And I
(09:00):
really needed that stablepaycheck. Like I said, single to
kids, all the bills, all thethings, it would have added a
whole other level of Yeah,nervous. Yeah, for sure to jump
out before I was ready.
Jamie Stephens (09:16):
And I keep thinking I am.
Unknown (09:20):
Turns out Oh, that's a whole nother thing. Let's we've
not gotten to that part of thestory yet.
Jamie Stephens (09:28):
Yeah, there's a learning curve for sure. You
know,
Unknown (09:31):
there's a huge learning curve to being an entrepreneur
that like there's a whole otherthing, but that's what I learned
is like I learned about myself,I learned how to be satisfied
and content in the messy middle.
As I was working towardssomething that I wanted, I was
okay with where I was at. Yeah.
(09:52):
And continuing to learn theskills of like how to deal with
the messy middle, because it'snot pretty Yeah. So
Jamie Stephens (09:58):
tell me about Some of those skills that you
were using during that time andlike how were you learning them
yourself?
Unknown (10:06):
I learned them the hard way. Yeah, yeah. So it's
basically it's it's resiliency,so or resilience. It's bounce
back ability. So as hard stuffhappens, and you get knocked
down, you have a hard day youhave it out with your kid, you
(10:26):
get transferred to each newteam, where you have no frickin
clue what you're doing. All thethings that life throws at you,
it's like, you learn the skillsto be able to know what your
triggers are, when you're nolonger feeling in your good
space. And knowing what tips andtricks and like the tools,
(10:49):
figuring out what your toolboxlooks like, help you get back to
that good place. And it's a lotof nervous system regulation. A
lot of so that's the thing thatthat's the things that I've
learned is like, I've learnedemotional regulation, I've
learned a lot of the differentscience behind it. But I lost a
lot of the emotions, and evengetting into the spiritual stuff
(11:12):
of really tapping into not justyour brain, but like your heart.
Yeah, we're not just a brain.
Jamie Stephens (11:20):
I feel like it always kind of, depending on how
many layers down you are before,you know, but it always like
everybody I've talked to,
Unknown (11:29):
it hits that part space. And you're like, yeah,
oh, hell, that doesn't feelgood. Yeah. So another thing
that I learned is absolutely howcritical it is to rest. Yes,
actually taking care ofyourself, and like prioritizing
yourself. And I know ever, it's,I mean, it is a thing. It's like
(11:50):
self care everywhere. But it'sbecause it's important. It is
important, because if you can'ttake care of yourself, you're
absolutely no good to anybodyelse. Your employer, your kids,
your family, your friends. And Ilearned that the hard way.
Because as I was going for thethings that I really wanted with
(12:10):
my coaching, I was I wasenjoying it so much. And I was
learning so much. And I was solike, gung ho about it, that I
didn't rest and let thingsintegrate and burnt myself out.
And I'm still healing from thatstupid mistake and that
learning?
Jamie Stephens (12:27):
Yeah, well, and that's just one more piece of
awareness that you get to havenow too, is like, Oh, my
tendency is to push go all inand push through. And yeah,
which is mine, as well. So I canrelate to where it's like, oh,
yeah, I actually should get upfrom my desk, take a walk
outside and move my body in someway. You know, it's what you
(12:51):
when you're excited aboutsomething or like, you're
really, you know, it can be fora good reason. But understanding
the role that rest plays. Andreally, I mean, it's something
that I honestly have to workcontinuously to aim like, they
may or fill permission, youknow, like, I have this
(13:14):
checklist of what I have to dobefore I can rest. And then it's
like, when I hear myself, I'mlike, This is ridiculous in so
many ways. You know, I thinkprobably a lot of women are in
that regard. I mean, guilt islargely associated with women.
So it's just like our naturaldefault tendencies.
Unknown (13:36):
I would say it's, it is the one of the biggest things
that I actually have to workwith women on. Like, because
they actually will not letthemselves go into dream mode.
And imagine different way ofexistence. Because they feel
guilty for even doing that.
Yeah. It's like, the first thingwe have to work on is that
permission of being like, Okay,I'm a human being Why am I
(14:00):
different than this Joe? Blowover there? Exactly. It's to do
it. Why can't I do it? And it'slike, you can and that's all you
have to sneeze.
Jamie Stephens (14:10):
There's a lot of unlearning. That has to happen
in order for I mean, yeah,
Unknown (14:17):
it's not a switch that you just flip a second. Okay,
sure. Yeah, I'll give myselfpermission.
Jamie Stephens (14:24):
Two minutes later. It's like, oh, I'm in
tears. Let you like what'shappening. Yeah, yeah. It's like
just depending on the moment,you know?
Unknown (14:33):
Yeah. So yeah, that's like kind of where I went
through the, you know, all thelearnings and everything and how
I ended up to like to finish offthe story is how I ended up
here. Where I'm at in my closetis I got laid off last year,
they did another round oflayoffs. And I was a non
(14:56):
technical person on a technicallike software development. Team
even though I was doingtrainings, and I was doing
things that mattered, and thatwas important to like the, you
know, the whole company orwhatever, it didn't matter,
because I didn't sit a certain.
Yeah. type
Jamie Stephens (15:12):
threshold.
You're like the art departmentand like elementary schools.
Yeah. Art and music theory, thefirst you know, it's just like,
oh, yeah,
Unknown (15:22):
that's hard, because I'd worked my way out also the
Jamie Stephens (15:24):
most valuable I'm not I mean, I don't want to
say the most, but you know, it'slike, everybody's got their
role. And, yeah, that's one ofthe things with corporate is
that there's just this, oh,well, yeah, you've got like, 100
years of experience between youguys. But we think that these
people in this other country,you're gonna be able to do a
(15:46):
better job than us. So we'rejust gonna save a few bucks. And
it's like,
Unknown (15:51):
in in my case, because budget was so tight. They needed
headcount for for developers,that I was had killed. That was
that didn't develop. Yeah. Andso they took everybody on my
team, there was like, eight ofus that were not technical. And
they said, Okay, sorry. And Igot paid. Well, they, they did
(16:11):
it very, it was done. Well. Atleast I will say, give them that
credit.
Jamie Stephens (16:18):
No voting buttons for you.
Unknown (16:20):
There was no voting by me. And it was so interesting,
because I had just started I wastelling Jamie the other day,
like about my like, littlemanifestation story of how I
find how I actually felt okay,with saying, Nope, I'm not going
to go back. And just took myseverance and said, Okay, I'm
gonna give it a shot. I've beensaying, I want to be a full time
(16:42):
coach for four years now. Guesswhat, you have to give it a
shot. And so that's what I'vebeen doing for the last for last
year.
Jamie Stephens (16:51):
Sometimes we need that little like mama bird,
push out the push out. And Ineeded like, okay,
Unknown (16:57):
yeah. And that's what I needed. Like, I needed the push.
Jamie Stephens (17:01):
So what surprised you about like your
first, let's say, two months of,I want to go back a little bit
further, like, knowing that youhad been doing it for four
years. And then, like, what didthat first two months look like?
I feel like that's such a rare,like raw and messy period.
Unknown (17:24):
I spun out like no other, like, literally spun that
spun out.
Jamie Stephens (17:32):
How did I How did I pinpoint that?
Unknown (17:34):
I, I mean, I literally I broke up with my boyfriend,
who I was perfectly content withand happy with. But like, and we
had been together for two yearsat that point. And we started
looking at like, the next stepsof like, moving forward
together. And I was like, whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
literally, my life just gotlike, the rug yanked out from
(17:57):
under me, hold up. And, and onething about me like that I had
learned on my journey, is when Iget overwhelmed, I freeze.
There's some that like, attack,or run. I go into like, just
leave me alone. I isolate likeno other i and, and I did. I was
(18:21):
like, I need you to leave mealone. And he was like, No, I
need you to talk to me. And Iwas like, Well, I can't talk to
you right now. So yeah. So webroke up and did not talk to
each other for two months. Andwe ended up getting back
together. Once my head got onstraight. And I finally got back
to like lice senses. But like,literally, I just, I took so
(18:47):
many courses. Oh my god. So manycourses. Like, in trying to
build my business. I was like,okay, so I need to take this
marketing course. And I need totake this course and I need to
do this. I knew that. And I justspun out. I was looking for
answers everywhere. But myself.
A lot of that a lot of crying. Alot of isolating. Because the
(19:08):
biggest part was like most of mypeople, like all my friends were
from work.
Jamie Stephens (19:18):
And I mean listen, they're 17 years 18
years like crap. Yeah,
Unknown (19:22):
that's I mean, and still I still the majority of
my, my really close people arefrom there. I mean, that's
Jamie Stephens (19:29):
your you spend more time at your job, I mean
waking hours than you can withyour own family. I mean, when
you work outside the home,
Unknown (19:39):
I get it. So it's it was it was very difficult
because I had to I had to cutoff some friendships that I
didn't really want to cut off,but I just they were still
there. There was so much like,bitterness that I was just like
I can't this is It's not healthyfor me. Yeah. And so I had to
(20:03):
cut, I had to cut thosefriendships out, or, like,
change them. Yeah, to be very,like, they were very contained.
And I and I had to have verystrict boundaries of like, these
are conversations that I'm notgonna have, like, I don't want
to hear about what's going on atwork. I don't want to hear about
the latest layoff. I don't wantto hear about all this stuff.
Jamie Stephens (20:26):
It just brings up so much of your own crap that
it's like, you know, it's it'slike somebody pouring salt on a
wound at the end. It's justlike, I understand that too. It
is.
Unknown (20:39):
It's like, you get to a point where you're like, Oh, I'm
good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm,yeah, I got my I'm feeling
settled. And then you got toalso and so
Jamie Stephens (20:49):
just got promoted. And I'm like, exactly.
Unknown (20:53):
And there goes, the spinning out again, like,
there's just a lot of I thinkthat was the first two to six
months. I mean, I still, I mean,it's been a year, and I still
get triggered, and still haveto, like, be very mindful of of
things. So it's a lot of nodrama. I mean, it literally is
(21:18):
trauma, and unwinding it, andhealing from it. And like
detoxifying. Oh, for sure. Forsure. From all of it. So, yeah,
at the same time as you'retrying to look forward. So it's
that that like, it's real messybalance, it is very messy.
Jamie Stephens (21:37):
So yeah, and this is why i Well, it's a
lesson I'm learning myself. Andso I'm like screaming it from
the rooftops. But everybody youneed longer than you think, to
make money, because there's allthat shit in the way that you
really have to just deal withbefore you move forward. I mean,
(22:00):
then you have like, I'm justgonna be blunt. So like, why,
after four years, Hatton thatstuff come up yet? Or? Oh, I
guess it was all new stuff. Iwas gonna say like, why would it
have been so messy that firstcouple of months if you had been
building your business for thelast four years?
Unknown (22:21):
So when I say I had been building my business for
four years, let me be very, veryclear. It was half assed. Like,
whenever I could, becauseimagine working a dog that's 45
Good. 15
Jamie Stephens (22:35):
It's not like you stepped out into a thriving.
No, it was, okay, no.
Unknown (22:39):
So like, that is the and that's the other thing that
I figured out. During that timeis, it is like building that
foundation of the business offiguring out who your clients
are, what they want, how you canreally help and like owning your
strengths and your superpowersand all of the like, that part
of the business. And hmm Ididn't really truly figure that
(23:04):
out until I was out. Yeah,because it takes time like
dedicated brain power to like,truly get into that. And I
didn't have that while I had myday job. Yeah, that's fair.
Jamie Stephens (23:19):
I can I can relate. I mean,
Unknown (23:21):
I could, I would coach people as as the opportunity
arose. I would do a like I didmy very first group to group
program. I had my very firstcall the day before I got my
planner that I got off. Like tothis
Jamie Stephens (23:44):
mama bird kickout
Unknown (23:48):
first phone call, like kickoff call of like my three
month group program. Yeah. Andthe next morning, there was a
planner on my calendar sayingrestructure. I was like, Well,
okay, then what I'm doing. Yeah,
Jamie Stephens (24:03):
leap and the net will appear.
Unknown (24:06):
Yes. So that's why I like when I say four years, it's
like, yes, had I been able toactually a lot more time to do
that. But I there was trainingsin there. Yeah, me actually
learning a new skill, going deepenough to actually like, feel
like I made a difference and notjust high level coaching skills.
(24:27):
Yeah. And all the other thingswithin that and life. I had two
teenagers with their own mentalproblems. I had my own
struggles, plus a day job and arelationship. Business was like
literally last on that list. Andthen whenever I lost it had to
move up.
Jamie Stephens (24:45):
Yeah, there's so much that you think you know and
you think you're prepared forand then just so many kind of
like smacks to the face. Whenyou think that you're kind of
began setbacks
Unknown (24:59):
like you It's literally like you run into a wall. Yeah,
I can see that comment.
Jamie Stephens (25:06):
So what has been your favorite thing about since
she left a year ago, almost ayear ago,
Unknown (25:12):
time freedom, being able to do what I want to do
when I want to do it, and notfeeling guilty, that I'm not
like logged on. And in that timefreedom, it's allowed me to
focus on my kids. And likereally building up those
relationships. Like I wasn'table to do before, and choosing
(25:35):
what I want to do. If I want towork from the park, I can work
from the park. That's one of mybiggest values is freedom of
choice. Yeah, I didn't get a lotof that when I was in corporate.
So that yeah, that's why it'slike, even more important to me
like, now that's really one ofthe big. One of the big reasons
I try this coaching.
Jamie Stephens (25:56):
Yeah, I think so many people got a taste of it
during COVID. That it's like,oh, we're going back? Oh, yeah.
If we can be Pollyanna for aminute, we're in good company.
But it's just like, there'sreally, even when it's crazy,
and things are not how we wouldchoose and the world and you
(26:19):
know, it's just like, yeah,things can be really terrible,
and really great at the sametime, honestly, and we hold the
capacity for both. But like, Ithink it gets out of whack when
all we focus on is like, the dayto day, big scary headlines. And
that's what we see. And that'swhat we hear. Because that's
(26:41):
what runs news stations. And youknow, I mean, it's just like,
Twitter and all the things. It'sjust,
Unknown (26:47):
yeah, we are literally naturally hardwired to see the
negative. Yeah.
Jamie Stephens (26:52):
And remember the negative. Yeah.
Unknown (26:55):
And feel the negative, like it literally is like front
of mine. So it is it is you haveto be very intentional about
shifting to those seeing thepositive and the gratitudes.
And, and I mean, like literally,you can be having the most
shitty day and you're drivingand you see a gorgeous sunset.
(27:17):
And it's like, I can breathe.
Like it's just like this hugeexhale, and this release of
pressure that it's like that,that beauty is there all the
time. If we're so so stuck inour heads worrying about all
this shit, we're not going tosee that sunset. Exactly. And
we're not going to get toexperience that like, reprieve.
Jamie Stephens (27:41):
So tell me what you help women with now.
Unknown (27:43):
Yeah, so first, it's getting unstuck. That is the
biggest thing that I hear fromso many, it's like, I just feel
stuck. And that that worddoesn't do it justice. But it's
helping them figure out wherethey're stuck. How to get
unstuck, and getting clear, likecrystal clear on what it is that
(28:05):
they actually want, not whattheir husband will, it's not
what they're what they're beentold that they want, they should
want. Like literally, like, it'salmost like peeling away an
onion, to getting down to theheart of it. And like really
seeing that's what they want,like from their heart space, and
(28:26):
then shedding all of the layers.
So that they can actually givethemselves permission to create,
like a life that they actuallyenjoy and don't want to escape
from. And there's a lot of andsome bounce back ability in
there too. So I work with them alot on creating that resilience,
and just learning the skillsbecause that's what they are
(28:49):
they're just skills and doingthat through community and
connection.
Jamie Stephens (28:56):
Let's talk about community for a little bit.
Yeah, because I know we actuallyjust kind of found each other in
the same circle Instagram andkind of chatted for you know
here and there a couple monthsback you know, few messages back
and forth commenting on a storyhere or there and then at one
(29:18):
point I think I posted somethingand I had in my added a location
tag and said like northwestArkansas or something along
those lines and you likeimmediately each time you're
like oh my god so yeah, I meanlike when you're working from
home and like your people thatyou're used to in a corporate
(29:38):
environment you're it's likebuilt in friends, you know, you
find your people those two yougo to lunch with it's who you go
to the bathroom with and gossipabout it. I mean, not just about
the gossip with, you know, allthe little things and whenever
you're working from you're like,number one on yourself in your
business, and alone at home.
It's like it, it's really hardis really lonely. Yeah. Like
(30:02):
I've had this podcast. So like,I get to meet some really
amazing women. But you know,there's been a handful of them
that I've actually like,developed real friendships with.
And so that's been really cool.
But otherwise, it's really, Imean, that's a challenge. So how
did you set up your community?
Let's talk about why it'simportant. And yeah, so
Unknown (30:27):
I'll just be clear, I haven't set up by community yet.
I'm literally that's one of thethings that's about the launch.
Yeah, so perfect segue perfecttiming right now. Um, but I
would say, first of all, this,one of the big things that I
noticed during all of mytraining programs, and there was
a lot of them. I'm a learningfanatic. I'm always trying to
(30:52):
grow and learn, that issomething I do, the biggest game
changer that I found in all ofthe programs that had the most
impact in my life was not thecurriculum, it was not the coach
or the director or whoever itwas leading the program. It was
actually the connection, thatcommunity of women that I was
(31:13):
going through the program with,or the community of people that
I was with, now all of thosethings were wonderful, and very
impactful and very helpful, wewould not have been able to have
the community without them. Butit allowed a level of like
vulnerability. And being seen,that is not there, when you just
(31:38):
go through a self paced course,or you're just doing something
on your own. It's amazing theamount of like, a horse that you
can have, through having adiscussion with somebody that's
like,
Jamie Stephens (31:51):
on the same that,
Unknown (31:53):
like literally. And when I say discussion, I'm not
talking like about the weatheror, or anything like deep,
heartfelt conversations whereyou're literally like, your
heart is connected to theirheart, and you truly see each
other. And it's about stuff thatis it's hard to admit. Because
(32:18):
there's there's like a level ofshame about it, that you're
like, Well, this is just wrong.
I shouldn't be feeling these wayi I'm wrong for feeling these,
these feelings. The the power inhaving a conversation where
somebody also is feeling thosethings, get like, flip something
that you're like, Oh, we're bothhuman?
Jamie Stephens (32:42):
Well, because you'd like immediately know what
to say to them. Yeah, you know,versus yourself. You're like,
oh, no, you can just go onforever, about how much you
know, they should valuethemselves. And it's like, Wait
a second. This is why don't Isay my lesson? Yeah, this is my
reflection. We were put togetherfor a reason. All the things,
you know?
Unknown (33:03):
Well, and it's just that common bond of like
humanity. Yeah. Yeah,
Jamie Stephens (33:08):
I didn't get I didn't get I wasn't a human
before. No. No, I didn'tactually see the value. I didn't
know. Like, I didn't know what Iwas supposed to get out of a
community, like in previouslike, classes and stuff that I
(33:29):
had taken. So I neverparticipated. I mean, I was
always working, it was alwayslike, full time jobs. So it was
never a priority for me toactually log in after work and
do anything other than learn thecurriculum. But like that change
this last program that I tookwhen I learned to like how to do
podcasting. And, I mean, thepeople that I've met in that
(33:52):
community, I mean, it's justlike, I've got some really good
friends from there. Now. Ofcourse, none of them are local.
So but you know, it's just like,I don't know, it was just like,
I think we as coaches need to doa very good job of making people
understand what you actually getout of the community. You hear
like emotional support, andyou're like, am I'm good. I've
(34:15):
got my dog, but like, it's awhole other level. Here's
Unknown (34:19):
the thing about emotional support is women
especially, first of all, don'tlike asking for help is good,
because it admits weakness. Andeven then, if they want to, they
don't know how. So you put abunch of people in the community
and you don't give them somesort of, like assistance in
(34:43):
like, or like guidelines or waysof, of actually connecting. If
you just stick somebody on aplatform somewhere and say,
Okay, go mingle. Yeah. What do Ido with that? Yeah, I'm gonna go
and talk to somebody randomlyand be like, hey, Do you want to
go like, making adult friends isnot easy for her, like, you want
(35:05):
to be my friend, like. So it's,that's the first thing with
communities really, truly likere teaching them how to do it
different. And it starts whereit's literally like smaller
groups. You literally have toform smaller groups. Because if
you have too much, you get lostin the crowd and people will
(35:28):
automatically hide.
Jamie Stephens (35:30):
Yeah. Well, I mean, especially if that's your
tendency, it's just like,
Unknown (35:34):
I've got so much to do.
I don't need to do go do that.
What's the point that I'm just
Jamie Stephens (35:37):
gonna lurk?
Professional There you go, girl.
Oh, I wouldn't even do that. I'mjust like, I'm scrolling. I'm
like, Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Butlike never like actually being
involved. You know,
Unknown (35:54):
it's different. That's where, like the community and
connection. I kind of use thosetwo words interchangeably. A
lot.
Jamie Stephens (36:02):
Oh, you were telling me you were gonna have
it? It's on heartbeat. Yeah.
tussah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm,it's coming back to me now.
Yeah, I have not checked thatout. That's, that's interesting.
So do you have like a launchdate for that?
Unknown (36:17):
And have a rough timeline of like, September ish,
okay. Probably mid September.
And like I said, you can go inand like, apply to work with me.
And one of the things that Ipride myself on doing
differently as a coach is I donot take a cookie cutter
approach. Like we're all humans,we all have different feeds
destinations, we want to go todifferent budgets, different
(36:40):
schedules. And I apply that samelike personalization to like my,
my process of like, figuring outif we're fit to work together,
and how we work together, andI've got different options based
off of
Jamie Stephens (36:59):
what they need.
And that's all on your link treeand your Instagram.
Unknown (37:04):
Yep, they can go to my website to see the different
ways and just apply to work withme. There's the button on my
link, link tree. Awesome.
Jamie Stephens (37:14):
Okay, well, I think we are rapid coming up on
time here. Is there anythingelse that you want to say or
anything else you want to share?
Unknown (37:25):
Um, I would say the first thing that it's the first
step is really getting clear onthat you want something
different. And then it's okay towant something, something
different. It doesn't mean thatwhat you have now is bad.
Jamie Stephens (37:39):
That's good.
That's, you know, it's comingback to the guilt default. You
know, that's one of the thingswhere it's like, I should be
happy. I should, you know, I gota car that runs I've got a
house, it's got a job, but you
Unknown (37:54):
should, you know, nice family.
Jamie Stephens (37:56):
But it's okay.
It's okay to want more. A, it isokay
Unknown (38:01):
to want more. That could not have been better said.
All right. It's actually on mywebsite. Oh, look at that. Think
about it. I
Jamie Stephens (38:09):
love it. Well, great minds think alike here.
All right. Thank you so much,Laura. Thank you so much, Jamie.
Thank you, Laura, for being soopen about your journey. I mean,
these are the stories I lovetelling and I have been so lucky
to find a new local friend onthis journey that is on a
similar path. Some of the thingsI want to highlight from this
(38:30):
conversation. Number one, liveintentionally. There's more to
life than just getting throughthe day. Move beyond the gray
and mundane and be intentionalabout cultivating joy in your
life. Number two, find thereframe. If there's a situation
that's bothering you, or acircumstance you're not keen on,
ask yourself if this weretotally for my benefit, what is
(38:53):
the lesson, this kind ofintentional thinking can open up
all kinds of things for you.
Number three, learn the skillsto navigate the messy middle,
you will fall it's part of life.
When you have bounce backability and learn to regulate
your emotions. You don't have toget dragged down by light. When
you fall, you just get rightback up. Number four, rest is
(39:15):
key to your success. You have toallow yourself time to integrate
or you will burn out even ifyou're doing something you love.
So just be aware. Number five,be ready for the push. Just like
a baby bird eventually getskicked out of the nest, the
universe will oftentimes give usthat push that we need to make a
change in our lives. If you'vebeen procrastinating on
(39:36):
something that's been calling onyour heart, just know that that
push is coming. Number six, thevalue of community. It comes up
and so many conversations and inso many ways but being part of
the community can completelyenrich your experience. shared
experiences shared guilt, grief,apprehension and success. It's
all made easier when you havereal people to share and help on
(40:00):
understand the journey thatyou're on okay guys that is
everything for this week it'sall linked in the show notes I
appreciate you being here thankyou so much for listening and I
will catch you next week
So another thing that I learned is absolutely how
(00:03):
critical it is to rest. Yes,actually taking care of yourself
and like prioritizing yourself.
And I know ever, it's, I mean,it is a thing. It's like self
care everywhere. But it'sbecause it's important. It is
important because if you can'ttake care of yourself, you're
absolutely no good to anybodyelse. Your employer, your kids,
(00:24):
your family, your friends. And Ilearned that the hard way
because as I was going for thethings that I really wanted with
my coaching, I was enjoying itso much. And I was learning so
much, and I was so like, gung hoabout it, that I didn't rest and
let things integrate. And Iburnt myself out, and I'm still
healing from that stupid mistakeand that learning.
Jamie Stephens (00:49):
Thanks for tuning in to another episode of
breaking up a corporate eachweek I chat with everyday women
that ditch their nine to five tobet on themselves. We break down
their journey intoentrepreneurship, unpack the
lessons learned and create thevision of how this life gets to
be if you're willing to getuncomfortable and step into your
potential. I'm your host, JamieRenee, to time corporate escapee
(01:13):
and coach to burnout womenlooking to plan their escape.
Let's go.
Hello, and welcome back toanother episode of Breaking up
with corporate today. I have afellow northwest Arkansas girl
on the show today. And I amexcited to introduce you to
(01:36):
Laura Russell. Laura is yourauthentic self help coach Laura,
go ahead and tell us what thatmeans.
Unknown (01:44):
Yes, so I, I love self improvement. And I absolutely it
is so important. And I've alsodiscovered that there are some
little things that could be donea little bit better with the
whole self help industry. And soI'm taking an unself help
approach within my coaching tohelp you get changed a little
(02:06):
bit different way and getunstuck.
Jamie Stephens (02:09):
So, Laura, tell us about your corporate career
and kind of what led up to thisformat. Yeah, to where you're at
and kind of how did we get here?
Unknown (02:23):
Yeah. So I am, like, many most people in Northwest
Arkansas, Walmart, so Walmarthome office, and was there for
17 years, I worked in a coupleof different divisions, but the
most of it was in IT projectmanagement process management
(02:43):
PMO. And I didn't hate it, but Ididn't love it. But it paid
well. That's pretty much in anutshell. And I was doing okay
until a lot of new leadershipcame in, like they do in
corporate. And they starteddoing a lot of layoffs, and
moving our team around, whichwas mostly support. So that's
(03:07):
also what they do. I landed on ateam after a very large layoff
that cut 75% of my team. Oh,yeah. And there is such a thing
as survivor's guilt. As well astrying to, like pick up the
pieces from all the work. Yeah,it still has to go on.
Jamie Stephens (03:30):
Yeah, the work doesn't get cut by 75%. Correct.
Unknown (03:35):
But they also put us under leadership that didn't
really know what direction theywanted to go. And they did not
have a clue what to do with us.
So that few of us that wereleft, really pretty much we just
tread water for three, fourmonths. And because there was
also the layoffs going on, itwas like Okay, so now in the
(03:55):
sitting doc, yeah. And I don'tlike this feeling whatsoever.
Um, so at that point, I think itwas like 3233, I decided that I
really needed to figure out whatI wanted to be when I grew up,
which was probably the firsttime ever, that I really allowed
myself to do that. Because I'm asingle mom. And I'd been in work
(04:18):
I'd been working in, just keepgoing since I since I graduated
college, because I'd had them at2023 24 and then just never
started. So I hired my firstcareer coach. And that was when
I started really getting to knowmyself. Like it started with my
(04:43):
career. Because it's such a hugepart of our life. Like it I'm
very fond, very driven and I'mvery goal oriented, sometimes to
my detriment. And so it justkind of My eyes, like, actually
looking at what I wanted, notjust out of my career, but like,
(05:06):
what I wanted my day to looklike, what were the things that
I needed in my life to like,feel fulfilled. And I know
that's a complete life Kochiword. But it's like that feeling
of fulfillment, like, like whatI was doing actually mattered.
Jamie Stephens (05:23):
I mean, but that's the goal, right? I mean,
Unknown (05:25):
yeah, otherwise, we're just here like bumping around
and other people.
Jamie Stephens (05:30):
Like, I don't think I, I think that there's
this stigma where it's like, oh,you're one of those people like,
oh, yeah, I'm one of thosepeople that control of my life.
Nice to me, too. It's like,
Unknown (05:42):
it's like I started living intentional. Yeah. Before
it very much was, yeah, therewere like intentional parts to
it. But it very much was like onautopilot. Just do what you have
to do to get through the day.
Yeah, just get through the day.
And then I started looking atlike, Oh, my day I can, I can
actually enjoy my day, huh,
Jamie Stephens (06:02):
that's interesting, you kind of get
stuck in that survival mode,where like, you don't see
anything else, even long pastwhen you can, like, hit the
brakes a little.
Unknown (06:13):
Yeah. I mean, you literally are living day to day.
And it's like, every day feelsthe same. It's like the same to
do list the same drive to work.
And it's just kind of gray. Thatwas where it started. And, and I
will say I didn't leavecorporate until this last year.
So I started that journey in2017. I didn't leave till 2021.
(06:35):
So there was four years there,where I was still actively
building my business, I wasstill in my job. And, and it was
so weird, because like, as Ifound purpose, and joy in my
coaching, it transferred over tomy day job, even though there
(06:57):
was still the shitty, all thecorporate stuff that always goes
on anymore. It's like I hadchoices. And I and I gave myself
the permission to make choiceswithin it, instead of just going
along with the flow of do asyou're told. And it was so
(07:19):
interesting to me, because likeI actually, within my day job, I
was transferred to teams, wherethey were I was learning skills
that have helped me so muchwithin my coaching, like I was
on a learning and developmentteam creating software
development. Yeah, trainings,just collected with like, agile
(07:43):
software development, growthmindset. It was, it was and it
was literally learning the stepsof how to create training
programs. I do that in my I dothat now. So I got paid to learn
it. Yeah, while I was there, soit just changed it.
Jamie Stephens (07:59):
Yeah, you and I were talking about this the
other day is just kind of thethe reframe that you, you know,
that you can have once you startto do this work, because it even
whenever it's like, Okay, maybenot my ideal situation, but
recognizing that, okay, I'm herefor a reason. There's something
(08:19):
for me here. What is it that I'mhere to learn? Or how am I
supposed to grow through thissituation? Because we can only
see it? On the flip side, right?
Like after we've already beenthrough it. So like, just
building that trust that it'sthere before you can see it, you
know,
Unknown (08:37):
well in it. And it was if I kind of like knowing that
hindsight, 2020 thing. I know Istarted coaching to get out of
corporate. Yeah, that is Iwanted out and I wanted out now.
However, I wasn't ready to beout. Yeah. Now, like I was not
developed yet as a person. Ididn't have the skill set. And I
(09:00):
really needed that stablepaycheck. Like I said, single to
kids, all the bills, all thethings, it would have added a
whole other level of Yeah,nervous. Yeah, for sure to jump
out before I was ready.
Jamie Stephens (09:16):
And I keep thinking I am.
Unknown (09:20):
Turns out Oh, that's a whole nother thing. Let's we've
not gotten to that part of thestory yet.
Jamie Stephens (09:28):
Yeah, there's a learning curve for sure. You
know,
Unknown (09:31):
there's a huge learning curve to being an entrepreneur
that like there's a whole otherthing, but that's what I learned
is like I learned about myself,I learned how to be satisfied
and content in the messy middle.
As I was working towardssomething that I wanted, I was
okay with where I was at. Yeah.
(09:52):
And continuing to learn theskills of like how to deal with
the messy middle, because it'snot pretty Yeah. So
Jamie Stephens (09:58):
tell me about Some of those skills that you
were using during that time andlike how were you learning them
yourself?
Unknown (10:06):
I learned them the hard way. Yeah, yeah. So it's
basically it's it's resiliency,so or resilience. It's bounce
back ability. So as hard stuffhappens, and you get knocked
down, you have a hard day youhave it out with your kid, you
(10:26):
get transferred to each newteam, where you have no frickin
clue what you're doing. All thethings that life throws at you,
it's like, you learn the skillsto be able to know what your
triggers are, when you're nolonger feeling in your good
space. And knowing what tips andtricks and like the tools,
(10:49):
figuring out what your toolboxlooks like, help you get back to
that good place. And it's a lotof nervous system regulation. A
lot of so that's the thing thatthat's the things that I've
learned is like, I've learnedemotional regulation, I've
learned a lot of the differentscience behind it. But I lost a
lot of the emotions, and evengetting into the spiritual stuff
(11:12):
of really tapping into not justyour brain, but like your heart.
Yeah, we're not just a brain.
Jamie Stephens (11:20):
I feel like it always kind of, depending on how
many layers down you are before,you know, but it always like
everybody I've talked to,
Unknown (11:29):
it hits that part space. And you're like, yeah,
oh, hell, that doesn't feelgood. Yeah. So another thing
that I learned is absolutely howcritical it is to rest. Yes,
actually taking care ofyourself, and like prioritizing
yourself. And I know ever, it's,I mean, it is a thing. It's like
(11:50):
self care everywhere. But it'sbecause it's important. It is
important, because if you can'ttake care of yourself, you're
absolutely no good to anybodyelse. Your employer, your kids,
your family, your friends. And Ilearned that the hard way.
Because as I was going for thethings that I really wanted with
(12:10):
my coaching, I was I wasenjoying it so much. And I was
learning so much. And I was solike, gung ho about it, that I
didn't rest and let thingsintegrate and burnt myself out.
And I'm still healing from thatstupid mistake and that
learning?
Jamie Stephens (12:27):
Yeah, well, and that's just one more piece of
awareness that you get to havenow too, is like, Oh, my
tendency is to push go all inand push through. And yeah,
which is mine, as well. So I canrelate to where it's like, oh,
yeah, I actually should get upfrom my desk, take a walk
outside and move my body in someway. You know, it's what you
(12:51):
when you're excited aboutsomething or like, you're
really, you know, it can be fora good reason. But understanding
the role that rest plays. Andreally, I mean, it's something
that I honestly have to workcontinuously to aim like, they
may or fill permission, youknow, like, I have this
(13:14):
checklist of what I have to dobefore I can rest. And then it's
like, when I hear myself, I'mlike, This is ridiculous in so
many ways. You know, I thinkprobably a lot of women are in
that regard. I mean, guilt islargely associated with women.
So it's just like our naturaldefault tendencies.
Unknown (13:36):
I would say it's, it is the one of the biggest things
that I actually have to workwith women on. Like, because
they actually will not letthemselves go into dream mode.
And imagine different way ofexistence. Because they feel
guilty for even doing that.
Yeah. It's like, the first thingwe have to work on is that
permission of being like, Okay,I'm a human being Why am I
(14:00):
different than this Joe? Blowover there? Exactly. It's to do
it. Why can't I do it? And it'slike, you can and that's all you
have to sneeze.
Jamie Stephens (14:10):
There's a lot of unlearning. That has to happen
in order for I mean, yeah,
Unknown (14:17):
it's not a switch that you just flip a second. Okay,
sure. Yeah, I'll give myselfpermission.
Jamie Stephens (14:24):
Two minutes later. It's like, oh, I'm in
tears. Let you like what'shappening. Yeah, yeah. It's like
just depending on the moment,you know?
Unknown (14:33):
Yeah. So yeah, that's like kind of where I went
through the, you know, all thelearnings and everything and how
I ended up to like to finish offthe story is how I ended up
here. Where I'm at in my closetis I got laid off last year,
they did another round oflayoffs. And I was a non
(14:56):
technical person on a technicallike software development. Team
even though I was doingtrainings, and I was doing
things that mattered, and thatwas important to like the, you
know, the whole company orwhatever, it didn't matter,
because I didn't sit a certain.
Yeah. type
Jamie Stephens (15:12):
threshold.
You're like the art departmentand like elementary schools.
Yeah. Art and music theory, thefirst you know, it's just like,
oh, yeah,
Unknown (15:22):
that's hard, because I'd worked my way out also the
Jamie Stephens (15:24):
most valuable I'm not I mean, I don't want to
say the most, but you know, it'slike, everybody's got their
role. And, yeah, that's one ofthe things with corporate is
that there's just this, oh,well, yeah, you've got like, 100
years of experience between youguys. But we think that these
people in this other country,you're gonna be able to do a
(15:46):
better job than us. So we'rejust gonna save a few bucks. And
it's like,
Unknown (15:51):
in in my case, because budget was so tight. They needed
headcount for for developers,that I was had killed. That was
that didn't develop. Yeah. Andso they took everybody on my
team, there was like, eight ofus that were not technical. And
they said, Okay, sorry. And Igot paid. Well, they, they did
(16:11):
it very, it was done. Well. Atleast I will say, give them that
credit.
Jamie Stephens (16:18):
No voting buttons for you.
Unknown (16:20):
There was no voting by me. And it was so interesting,
because I had just started I wastelling Jamie the other day,
like about my like, littlemanifestation story of how I
find how I actually felt okay,with saying, Nope, I'm not going
to go back. And just took myseverance and said, Okay, I'm
gonna give it a shot. I've beensaying, I want to be a full time
(16:42):
coach for four years now. Guesswhat, you have to give it a
shot. And so that's what I'vebeen doing for the last for last
year.
Jamie Stephens (16:51):
Sometimes we need that little like mama bird,
push out the push out. And Ineeded like, okay,
Unknown (16:57):
yeah. And that's what I needed. Like, I needed the push.
Jamie Stephens (17:01):
So what surprised you about like your
first, let's say, two months of,I want to go back a little bit
further, like, knowing that youhad been doing it for four
years. And then, like, what didthat first two months look like?
I feel like that's such a rare,like raw and messy period.
Unknown (17:24):
I spun out like no other, like, literally spun that
spun out.
Jamie Stephens (17:32):
How did I How did I pinpoint that?
Unknown (17:34):
I, I mean, I literally I broke up with my boyfriend,
who I was perfectly content withand happy with. But like, and we
had been together for two yearsat that point. And we started
looking at like, the next stepsof like, moving forward
together. And I was like, whoa,whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
literally, my life just gotlike, the rug yanked out from
(17:57):
under me, hold up. And, and onething about me like that I had
learned on my journey, is when Iget overwhelmed, I freeze.
There's some that like, attack,or run. I go into like, just
leave me alone. I isolate likeno other i and, and I did. I was
(18:21):
like, I need you to leave mealone. And he was like, No, I
need you to talk to me. And Iwas like, Well, I can't talk to
you right now. So yeah. So webroke up and did not talk to
each other for two months. Andwe ended up getting back
together. Once my head got onstraight. And I finally got back
to like lice senses. But like,literally, I just, I took so
(18:47):
many courses. Oh my god. So manycourses. Like, in trying to
build my business. I was like,okay, so I need to take this
marketing course. And I need totake this course and I need to
do this. I knew that. And I justspun out. I was looking for
answers everywhere. But myself.
A lot of that a lot of crying. Alot of isolating. Because the
(19:08):
biggest part was like most of mypeople, like all my friends were
from work.
Jamie Stephens (19:18):
And I mean listen, they're 17 years 18
years like crap. Yeah,
Unknown (19:22):
that's I mean, and still I still the majority of
my, my really close people arefrom there. I mean, that's
Jamie Stephens (19:29):
your you spend more time at your job, I mean
waking hours than you can withyour own family. I mean, when
you work outside the home,
Unknown (19:39):
I get it. So it's it was it was very difficult
because I had to I had to cutoff some friendships that I
didn't really want to cut off,but I just they were still
there. There was so much like,bitterness that I was just like
I can't this is It's not healthyfor me. Yeah. And so I had to
(20:03):
cut, I had to cut thosefriendships out, or, like,
change them. Yeah, to be very,like, they were very contained.
And I and I had to have verystrict boundaries of like, these
are conversations that I'm notgonna have, like, I don't want
to hear about what's going on atwork. I don't want to hear about
the latest layoff. I don't wantto hear about all this stuff.
Jamie Stephens (20:26):
It just brings up so much of your own crap that
it's like, you know, it's it'slike somebody pouring salt on a
wound at the end. It's justlike, I understand that too. It
is.
Unknown (20:39):
It's like, you get to a point where you're like, Oh, I'm
good. I'm good. I'm good. I'm,yeah, I got my I'm feeling
settled. And then you got toalso and so
Jamie Stephens (20:49):
just got promoted. And I'm like, exactly.
Unknown (20:53):
And there goes, the spinning out again, like,
there's just a lot of I thinkthat was the first two to six
months. I mean, I still, I mean,it's been a year, and I still
get triggered, and still haveto, like, be very mindful of of
things. So it's a lot of nodrama. I mean, it literally is
(21:18):
trauma, and unwinding it, andhealing from it. And like
detoxifying. Oh, for sure. Forsure. From all of it. So, yeah,
at the same time as you'retrying to look forward. So it's
that that like, it's real messybalance, it is very messy.
Jamie Stephens (21:37):
So yeah, and this is why i Well, it's a
lesson I'm learning myself. Andso I'm like screaming it from
the rooftops. But everybody youneed longer than you think, to
make money, because there's allthat shit in the way that you
really have to just deal withbefore you move forward. I mean,
(22:00):
then you have like, I'm justgonna be blunt. So like, why,
after four years, Hatton thatstuff come up yet? Or? Oh, I
guess it was all new stuff. Iwas gonna say like, why would it
have been so messy that firstcouple of months if you had been
building your business for thelast four years?
Unknown (22:21):
So when I say I had been building my business for
four years, let me be very, veryclear. It was half assed. Like,
whenever I could, becauseimagine working a dog that's 45
Good. 15
Jamie Stephens (22:35):
It's not like you stepped out into a thriving.
No, it was, okay, no.
Unknown (22:39):
So like, that is the and that's the other thing that
I figured out. During that timeis, it is like building that
foundation of the business offiguring out who your clients
are, what they want, how you canreally help and like owning your
strengths and your superpowersand all of the like, that part
of the business. And hmm Ididn't really truly figure that
(23:04):
out until I was out. Yeah,because it takes time like
dedicated brain power to like,truly get into that. And I
didn't have that while I had myday job. Yeah, that's fair.
Jamie Stephens (23:19):
I can I can relate. I mean,
Unknown (23:21):
I could, I would coach people as as the opportunity
arose. I would do a like I didmy very first group to group
program. I had my very firstcall the day before I got my
planner that I got off. Like tothis
Jamie Stephens (23:44):
mama bird kickout
Unknown (23:48):
first phone call, like kickoff call of like my three
month group program. Yeah. Andthe next morning, there was a
planner on my calendar sayingrestructure. I was like, Well,
okay, then what I'm doing. Yeah,
Jamie Stephens (24:03):
leap and the net will appear.
Unknown (24:06):
Yes. So that's why I like when I say four years, it's
like, yes, had I been able toactually a lot more time to do
that. But I there was trainingsin there. Yeah, me actually
learning a new skill, going deepenough to actually like, feel
like I made a difference and notjust high level coaching skills.
(24:27):
Yeah. And all the other thingswithin that and life. I had two
teenagers with their own mentalproblems. I had my own
struggles, plus a day job and arelationship. Business was like
literally last on that list. Andthen whenever I lost it had to
move up.
Jamie Stephens (24:45):
Yeah, there's so much that you think you know and
you think you're prepared forand then just so many kind of
like smacks to the face. Whenyou think that you're kind of
began setbacks
Unknown (24:59):
like you It's literally like you run into a wall. Yeah,
I can see that comment.
Jamie Stephens (25:06):
So what has been your favorite thing about since
she left a year ago, almost ayear ago,
Unknown (25:12):
time freedom, being able to do what I want to do
when I want to do it, and notfeeling guilty, that I'm not
like logged on. And in that timefreedom, it's allowed me to
focus on my kids. And likereally building up those
relationships. Like I wasn'table to do before, and choosing
(25:35):
what I want to do. If I want towork from the park, I can work
from the park. That's one of mybiggest values is freedom of
choice. Yeah, I didn't get a lotof that when I was in corporate.
So that yeah, that's why it'slike, even more important to me
like, now that's really one ofthe big. One of the big reasons
I try this coaching.
Jamie Stephens (25:56):
Yeah, I think so many people got a taste of it
during COVID. That it's like,oh, we're going back? Oh, yeah.
If we can be Pollyanna for aminute, we're in good company.
But it's just like, there'sreally, even when it's crazy,
and things are not how we wouldchoose and the world and you
(26:19):
know, it's just like, yeah,things can be really terrible,
and really great at the sametime, honestly, and we hold the
capacity for both. But like, Ithink it gets out of whack when
all we focus on is like, the dayto day, big scary headlines. And
that's what we see. And that'swhat we hear. Because that's
(26:41):
what runs news stations. And youknow, I mean, it's just like,
Twitter and all the things. It'sjust,
Unknown (26:47):
yeah, we are literally naturally hardwired to see the
negative. Yeah.
Jamie Stephens (26:52):
And remember the negative. Yeah.
Unknown (26:55):
And feel the negative, like it literally is like front
of mine. So it is it is you haveto be very intentional about
shifting to those seeing thepositive and the gratitudes.
And, and I mean, like literally,you can be having the most
shitty day and you're drivingand you see a gorgeous sunset.
(27:17):
And it's like, I can breathe.
Like it's just like this hugeexhale, and this release of
pressure that it's like that,that beauty is there all the
time. If we're so so stuck inour heads worrying about all
this shit, we're not going tosee that sunset. Exactly. And
we're not going to get toexperience that like, reprieve.
Jamie Stephens (27:41):
So tell me what you help women with now.
Unknown (27:43):
Yeah, so first, it's getting unstuck. That is the
biggest thing that I hear fromso many, it's like, I just feel
stuck. And that that worddoesn't do it justice. But it's
helping them figure out wherethey're stuck. How to get
unstuck, and getting clear, likecrystal clear on what it is that
(28:05):
they actually want, not whattheir husband will, it's not
what they're what they're beentold that they want, they should
want. Like literally, like, it'salmost like peeling away an
onion, to getting down to theheart of it. And like really
seeing that's what they want,like from their heart space, and
(28:26):
then shedding all of the layers.
So that they can actually givethemselves permission to create,
like a life that they actuallyenjoy and don't want to escape
from. And there's a lot of andsome bounce back ability in
there too. So I work with them alot on creating that resilience,
and just learning the skillsbecause that's what they are
(28:49):
they're just skills and doingthat through community and
connection.
Jamie Stephens (28:56):
Let's talk about community for a little bit.
Yeah, because I know we actuallyjust kind of found each other in
the same circle Instagram andkind of chatted for you know
here and there a couple monthsback you know, few messages back
and forth commenting on a storyhere or there and then at one
(29:18):
point I think I posted somethingand I had in my added a location
tag and said like northwestArkansas or something along
those lines and you likeimmediately each time you're
like oh my god so yeah, I meanlike when you're working from
home and like your people thatyou're used to in a corporate
(29:38):
environment you're it's likebuilt in friends, you know, you
find your people those two yougo to lunch with it's who you go
to the bathroom with and gossipabout it. I mean, not just about
the gossip with, you know, allthe little things and whenever
you're working from you're like,number one on yourself in your
business, and alone at home.
It's like it, it's really hardis really lonely. Yeah. Like
(30:02):
I've had this podcast. So like,I get to meet some really
amazing women. But you know,there's been a handful of them
that I've actually like,developed real friendships with.
And so that's been really cool.
But otherwise, it's really, Imean, that's a challenge. So how
did you set up your community?
Let's talk about why it'simportant. And yeah, so
Unknown (30:27):
I'll just be clear, I haven't set up by community yet.
I'm literally that's one of thethings that's about the launch.
Yeah, so perfect segue perfecttiming right now. Um, but I
would say, first of all, this,one of the big things that I
noticed during all of mytraining programs, and there was
a lot of them. I'm a learningfanatic. I'm always trying to
(30:52):
grow and learn, that issomething I do, the biggest game
changer that I found in all ofthe programs that had the most
impact in my life was not thecurriculum, it was not the coach
or the director or whoever itwas leading the program. It was
actually the connection, thatcommunity of women that I was
(31:13):
going through the program with,or the community of people that
I was with, now all of thosethings were wonderful, and very
impactful and very helpful, wewould not have been able to have
the community without them. Butit allowed a level of like
vulnerability. And being seen,that is not there, when you just
(31:38):
go through a self paced course,or you're just doing something
on your own. It's amazing theamount of like, a horse that you
can have, through having adiscussion with somebody that's
like,
Jamie Stephens (31:51):
on the same that,
Unknown (31:53):
like literally. And when I say discussion, I'm not
talking like about the weatheror, or anything like deep,
heartfelt conversations whereyou're literally like, your
heart is connected to theirheart, and you truly see each
other. And it's about stuff thatis it's hard to admit. Because
(32:18):
there's there's like a level ofshame about it, that you're
like, Well, this is just wrong.
I shouldn't be feeling these wayi I'm wrong for feeling these,
these feelings. The the power inhaving a conversation where
somebody also is feeling thosethings, get like, flip something
that you're like, Oh, we're bothhuman?
Jamie Stephens (32:42):
Well, because you'd like immediately know what
to say to them. Yeah, you know,versus yourself. You're like,
oh, no, you can just go onforever, about how much you
know, they should valuethemselves. And it's like, Wait
a second. This is why don't Isay my lesson? Yeah, this is my
reflection. We were put togetherfor a reason. All the things,
you know?
Unknown (33:03):
Well, and it's just that common bond of like
humanity. Yeah. Yeah,
Jamie Stephens (33:08):
I didn't get I didn't get I wasn't a human
before. No. No, I didn'tactually see the value. I didn't
know. Like, I didn't know what Iwas supposed to get out of a
community, like in previouslike, classes and stuff that I
(33:29):
had taken. So I neverparticipated. I mean, I was
always working, it was alwayslike, full time jobs. So it was
never a priority for me toactually log in after work and
do anything other than learn thecurriculum. But like that change
this last program that I tookwhen I learned to like how to do
podcasting. And, I mean, thepeople that I've met in that
(33:52):
community, I mean, it's justlike, I've got some really good
friends from there. Now. Ofcourse, none of them are local.
So but you know, it's just like,I don't know, it was just like,
I think we as coaches need to doa very good job of making people
understand what you actually getout of the community. You hear
like emotional support, andyou're like, am I'm good. I've
(34:15):
got my dog, but like, it's awhole other level. Here's
Unknown (34:19):
the thing about emotional support is women
especially, first of all, don'tlike asking for help is good,
because it admits weakness. Andeven then, if they want to, they
don't know how. So you put abunch of people in the community
and you don't give them somesort of, like assistance in
(34:43):
like, or like guidelines or waysof, of actually connecting. If
you just stick somebody on aplatform somewhere and say,
Okay, go mingle. Yeah. What do Ido with that? Yeah, I'm gonna go
and talk to somebody randomlyand be like, hey, Do you want to
go like, making adult friends isnot easy for her, like, you want
(35:05):
to be my friend, like. So it's,that's the first thing with
communities really, truly likere teaching them how to do it
different. And it starts whereit's literally like smaller
groups. You literally have toform smaller groups. Because if
you have too much, you get lostin the crowd and people will
(35:28):
automatically hide.
Jamie Stephens (35:30):
Yeah. Well, I mean, especially if that's your
tendency, it's just like,
Unknown (35:34):
I've got so much to do.
I don't need to do go do that.
What's the point that I'm just
Jamie Stephens (35:37):
gonna lurk?
Professional There you go, girl.
Oh, I wouldn't even do that. I'mjust like, I'm scrolling. I'm
like, Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Butlike never like actually being
involved. You know,
Unknown (35:54):
it's different. That's where, like the community and
connection. I kind of use thosetwo words interchangeably. A
lot.
Jamie Stephens (36:02):
Oh, you were telling me you were gonna have
it? It's on heartbeat. Yeah.
tussah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I'm,it's coming back to me now.
Yeah, I have not checked thatout. That's, that's interesting.
So do you have like a launchdate for that?
Unknown (36:17):
And have a rough timeline of like, September ish,
okay. Probably mid September.
And like I said, you can go inand like, apply to work with me.
And one of the things that Ipride myself on doing
differently as a coach is I donot take a cookie cutter
approach. Like we're all humans,we all have different feeds
destinations, we want to go todifferent budgets, different
(36:40):
schedules. And I apply that samelike personalization to like my,
my process of like, figuring outif we're fit to work together,
and how we work together, andI've got different options based
off of
Jamie Stephens (36:59):
what they need.
And that's all on your link treeand your Instagram.
Unknown (37:04):
Yep, they can go to my website to see the different
ways and just apply to work withme. There's the button on my
link, link tree. Awesome.
Jamie Stephens (37:14):
Okay, well, I think we are rapid coming up on
time here. Is there anythingelse that you want to say or
anything else you want to share?
Unknown (37:25):
Um, I would say the first thing that it's the first
step is really getting clear onthat you want something
different. And then it's okay towant something, something
different. It doesn't mean thatwhat you have now is bad.
Jamie Stephens (37:39):
That's good.
That's, you know, it's comingback to the guilt default. You
know, that's one of the thingswhere it's like, I should be
happy. I should, you know, I gota car that runs I've got a
house, it's got a job, but you
Unknown (37:54):
should, you know, nice family.
Jamie Stephens (37:56):
But it's okay.
It's okay to want more. A, it isokay
Unknown (38:01):
to want more. That could not have been better said.
All right. It's actually on mywebsite. Oh, look at that. Think
about it. I
Jamie Stephens (38:09):
love it. Well, great minds think alike here.
All right. Thank you so much,Laura. Thank you so much, Jamie.
Thank you, Laura, for being soopen about your journey. I mean,
these are the stories I lovetelling and I have been so lucky
to find a new local friend onthis journey that is on a
similar path. Some of the thingsI want to highlight from this
(38:30):
conversation. Number one, liveintentionally. There's more to
life than just getting throughthe day. Move beyond the gray
and mundane and be intentionalabout cultivating joy in your
life. Number two, find thereframe. If there's a situation
that's bothering you, or acircumstance you're not keen on,
ask yourself if this weretotally for my benefit, what is
(38:53):
the lesson, this kind ofintentional thinking can open up
all kinds of things for you.
Number three, learn the skillsto navigate the messy middle,
you will fall it's part of life.
When you have bounce backability and learn to regulate
your emotions. You don't have toget dragged down by light. When
you fall, you just get rightback up. Number four, rest is
(39:15):
key to your success. You have toallow yourself time to integrate
or you will burn out even ifyou're doing something you love.
So just be aware. Number five,be ready for the push. Just like
a baby bird eventually getskicked out of the nest, the
universe will oftentimes give usthat push that we need to make a
change in our lives. If you'vebeen procrastinating on
(39:36):
something that's been calling onyour heart, just know that that
push is coming. Number six, thevalue of community. It comes up
and so many conversations and inso many ways but being part of
the community can completelyenrich your experience. shared
experiences shared guilt, grief,apprehension and success. It's
all made easier when you havereal people to share and help on
(40:00):
understand the journey thatyou're on okay guys that is
everything for this week it'sall linked in the show notes I
appreciate you being here thankyou so much for listening and I
will catch you next week
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