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In this “Best Of” series, we revisit the impactful episode "There Is Nothing Wrong With You," originally part of a “Chasing Normal” series.
Many of us have struggled with the belief that we are inherently flawed or broken, especially those of us on a trauma-healing journey.
This episode sheds light on how the belief that something is wrong with you is not a truth but a trauma response—a coping mechanism developed to maintain a sense of control and safety in challenging environments.
This episode provides insights on identifying, understanding, and ultimately letting go of this false belief so listeners can return to their authentic selves.
This episode also offers journaling prompts, practical exercises, and reframes to help you step out of shame, step into self-acceptance, and experience genuine healing and growth.
Key Topics Covered:
- Understanding that “something is wrong with you” is a trauma-born false belief
- How this limiting belief undermines self-esteem, confidence, and relationships
- The connection between trauma, coping mechanisms, and negative self-perception
- Journaling exercises to uncover the roots of self-doubt and fear
- Strategies to feel safe without relying on self-blame
- Replacing limiting beliefs with affirmations of safety and self-worth
Resources & Mentions:
Timestamped Chapters:
00:00 – Introduction & Best Of Series Overview
01:33 – Revisiting “There Is Nothing Wrong With You”
04:41 – Examining the Feeling That Something Is Wrong With You
05:49 – Understanding the Belief as a Trauma Response & Coping Mechanism
07:32 – How Trauma Instills a False Sense of Being Flawed
10:00 – The Destructive Loop of Reinforcing Negative Beliefs
12:38 – How the Belief Influences Relationships, Opportunities & Success
14:33 – Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs and Facing the Fear of Change
19:24 – Strategies for Healing and Shining Light on False Beliefs
20:38 – Recognizing the Voice of Fear & Countering Resistance
21:11 – “Maybe the Only Thing Wrong is the Belief Itself”
22:53 – Journaling Prompts to Identify and Release Core Beliefs
28:01 – Finding Alternatives for Feeling Safe & C
I am grateful you are here,
Jerry
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grateful that you're here Now.
This week we're continuing ourBest Of series where we're
revisiting some of the topepisodes that have had the most
impact or where I've got themost feedback from the listeners
of this podcast.
As I shared at the beginning ofthis series, I often get a lot
(00:22):
of questions from the listenersabout which podcast episodes to
start with as a part of going onthe journey with the Permission
to Love podcast.
So this is my attempt to makethat easy for you as the
listener.
So if you're new to the podcast, I hope this is helping you in
diving into the content of thepodcast and starting your
journey with it.
And if you're a regular part ofthe community here at the
(00:44):
Permission to Love podcast andstarting your journey with it,
and if you're a regular part ofthe community here at the
Permission to Love podcast and afrequent listener, I hope
you're enjoying revisiting someof these most powerful episodes
that have been a part of thepodcast.
And with all of that in mind,today we're going to be
revisiting an episode calledthere Is Nothing Wrong With you.
It was a part of a series thatI did around chasing normal, and
I have to say that this episodereally resonated with so many
(01:07):
of you, right?
Because for people who'vestruggled with trauma or who are
dealing with the healingjourney will often feel like
there's something wrong with usthat we need to be fixed, and so
this episode is an attempt tohelp you realize there's nothing
wrong with you and the beliefthat there is is a coping
mechanism that was developed tokeep you safe.
I hope you enjoy revisitingthis episode or listening to it
(01:30):
for the first time.
From time to time, I getrequests to go a bit deeper on
the subjects that I discuss inpodcasts.
I'll mention something, aphrase or a thought or a concept
, and I'll get feedback thatyou'd like for me to go a little
bit deeper with that subject.
So today I'm doing exactly that, and actually this is one of
(01:53):
three episodes that is drillingdown on a particular subject or
a particular feeling, and it'sthat feeling, as trauma
survivors, that we're chasingnormal.
It's that feeling that there'ssomething wrong with us.
We're constantly trying to fixourselves and we think that
there's this place that we'regoing to get to, where we feel
(02:15):
normal, and so we wind upconstantly chasing after what we
think is normal.
So this is part one, and thetopic today is that there is
nothing wrong with you.
The next episode will be abouthow to stop feeling like you
need to fix yourself, and thefinal episode will be around the
difference betweenself-acceptance and
(02:35):
self-improvement how do we keepthose things in balance?
In this series, I'm hoping tomake the connection for you that
there is this core belief thatmany of us have that there's
something that's wrong with us.
That leads then to anever-ending sense that we need
to fix ourselves to find somesolutions, which then never
allows us to accept ourselves.
(02:56):
So I'm hoping in this series tohelp you unwind some of that,
allow you to get peace withyourself, to realize there's
nothing about you that needs tobe fixed, and then move into a
place of pure self-acceptanceand from that place, begin to
make the choices about thingsthat we want to improve in our
lives.
(03:17):
I want to take a quick momentand talk about my book Returning
.
It's a collection ofmeditations and reflections on
self-love and healing.
I designed this book to helpyou on your journey of moving
from shame to self-love.
It's divided in three sections.
The first section is aboutseeing seeing that you're not
alone.
The second section is aboutunderstanding that healing is
(03:39):
possible.
And the third section isdesigned to remind you and to
show you that loving yourself isthe path back to yourself.
I've heard from a lot of peoplethat they're using it as a
daily reflection guide, whereeach day they're selecting a
passage, reading it, meditatingon it, journaling on it, and
it's really helping them intheir healing journey and
(04:00):
helping them understand thatthey are worthy of love, that
they can heal, that they're notalone, and I know it can do the
same for you.
So if you haven't picked up acopy yet, please take a moment
to do that.
And if you have picked up acopy already, it would mean a
lot to me if you'd take a momentand review the book, because
the more positive reviews thebook gets, the more likely
(04:20):
people are going to become awareof it and benefit from the work
.
So thank you, thank you forpicking it up, thank you for
reviewing it and thank you forpassing it along.
Maybe, when you're done with it, you can pass it along to
somebody else or pick up a copyfor somebody else that you know
could benefit from the work.
You can get it on Amazon or youcan simply see the show notes
in this episode to get your copy.
(04:41):
So let's first start byexamining this feeling that
there's something wrong with us,that sense that we can't quite
put our finger on what's goingon inside of us and why we carry
this feeling and why it's sodifficult to explain it to other
people.
It's a very real feeling.
So I don't want you to get theidea that I'm dismissing that
feeling, because I carried thatfeeling for 40 plus years and
(05:03):
that feeling caused a lot ofchallenges in my life that have
been very open and vulnerableabout in this podcast, and one
of the things that it did was itled to some real anxiety, this
sense of low self-esteem,imposter syndrome and many of
the things that go along withthat feeling that there's
something wrong with you.
So I want to be really clearthat I'm not minimizing that
feeling, I'm not discountingthat feeling, but I want to
(05:26):
shine light on what it actuallyis so that then we can begin to
see it through a different lensand have a new perspective,
because perspective changeseverything.
When you get a differentperspective and a different
insight on something, it cantransform the way that you
approach it, and the way thatyou approach it is absolutely
everything.
(05:46):
So what is that feeling?
Well, thank goodness that modernapproaches to mental health
have really shifted over thelast decade and now we look at
that view, or that sense thatthere's something wrong with us,
as a coping mechanism, a way tokeep us safe.
The belief that there issomething wrong with you is not
a truth.
(06:06):
It is a trauma response.
It is a way that your body,your mind and your nervous
system has learned to keep yousafe.
It kept you safe at one pointin your life, otherwise you
wouldn't have it.
You wouldn't have that beliefsystem if somehow it wasn't
serving you.
Everything we do is an attemptto serve us.
(06:27):
Yes, even the most unhealthy,dysfunctional things that we do
are attempts to serve us.
So carrying the belief thatthere's something wrong with you
is something that's trying toserve you.
So we want to get to thoselayers underneath about how it
is trying to serve you, so thatwe can approach it differently
(06:47):
and get our needs met in a muchmore healthy way.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Now, your initial response orthought to that might be well,
you don't know me.
I know me.
I know the things that I'vedone.
I know how I behave.
I know how I feel about myself.
I know how I behave.
I know how I feel about myself.
I feel so, not normal and I'vecarried that feeling for so many
(07:08):
years.
I understand, I felt that Ilived with that and the thing
that was the breakthrough for mewas understanding that I was
trying to keep myself safe, thatthat thought pattern was
actually a loving behaviortowards me, and understanding
that the trauma that I hadexperienced had wired that into
(07:32):
me.
And how it got wired was.
I had an experience, or hadmultiple experiences, of trauma
and I made decisions from there.
I made decisions about life,people and, most importantly,
about myself.
And the decision that I madeabout myself, life, people and,
most importantly, about myself.
And the decision that I madeabout myself was there's
something wrong with me.
Unconsciously, I made thatdecision that there's something
(07:52):
wrong with me, and the reasonthat decision kept me safe was
it put some sense of controlinto my hands.
It allowed me to see that if Ithink there's something wrong
with me and that's why I'mexperiencing the abuse, that's
why I'm experiencing the traumathen I can begin to examine what
(08:13):
is wrong with me, what can Ichange, and if I can change it
then I can be safe.
If I can change my behavior,then maybe I won't experience
the abuse.
So then my radar right begins topick up everything about me and
begins to get laser focused inon myself and my behaviors.
And how can I change this?
(08:34):
Or did I do this wrong or saythat wrong?
And so I'm in this constantsense of vigilance about myself,
doing self-examination, but ina very unhealthy way.
Not a self-examination forgrowth, but a self-examination,
but in a very unhealthy way.
Not a self-examination forgrowth, but a self-examination
for survival.
And the decisions that we makewhen we're in survival mode
often aren't the most rationalor reasonable thoughts.
(08:57):
So beginning to blame myselfwasn't the most rational thing
for a child to do.
It was subconsciously done andthat's often the case for many
trauma survivors, and that canhappen in childhood or it can
happen in toxic relationships orother painful experiences in
life.
I mean you can make a decisionthat there's something wrong
(09:17):
about you because youexperienced the loss of a loved
one or you've had a painfulhealth condition, and maybe you
begin to think thoughts likewhat's wrong with me, that life
is treating me this way, orwhat's wrong with me that God is
allowing these things to happento me.
Well, once again I want toencourage you.
There is nothing wrong with you, you, there is nothing wrong
(09:42):
with you.
Only purpose for that thinkingpattern that there's something
wrong with me is to try to keepyou safe, is to try to give you
some sense of control over yourenvironment and over yourself.
That if I can discover thething that's wrong with me, then
my life will change, thenthings will show up better for
me.
But here's the problem thethought that once was serving
(10:04):
you to try to keep you safe, totry to cause you to figure out
how you could change you inorder to stay safe, ultimately
begins to trap you.
It begins to rob you of yourself-confidence.
It begins to rob you of yourability to trust yourself.
It begins to rob you of givingyourself the life that you want,
because you believe that youdon't deserve it, or that you'll
(10:26):
screw it up, or that it'll betaken away from you because
you're not worthy of it, becausefundamentally you're flawed and
you're broken.
And then you carry that senseabout yourself and then you
distance yourself fromrelationships, you keep yourself
out of intimacy because youthink that it's just a matter of
time until they find out whoyou are, until they see you the
(10:46):
way that you see yourself, andso your entire life begins to
revolve around that beliefsystem.
That limiting belief aboutyourself begins to control
everything else in your life.
That's why I talk about it andI keep saying it over and over
your relationship with yourselfdetermines everything else in
your life.
So, as long as you believe thatthere's something wrong with
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you, you're going toself-sabotage, you're going to
mess things up, you're going tostay stuck, you're going to get
passed over for those promotions, you're going to limit your
ability financially,relationally and every other way
, because you're going tocontinue to try to align with
that belief about yourself, thatfalse limiting belief.
And it is a false limitingbelief, and you're going to hear
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me say that over and over.
I'm going to repeat that a lotbecause I want to break that
thinking, break that cycle inyour mind that there's something
wrong with you, there isnothing wrong with you.
So when we have that belief,that impact that I just talked
about, we carry with useverywhere, and what that does,
(11:51):
is it then reinforces the beliefthat there's something wrong
with us and we get trapped inthis constant loop.
And it goes like this I believethere's something wrong with us
and we get trapped in thisconstant loop.
And it goes like this I believethere's something wrong with me
.
My subconscious belief thencauses me to sabotage
relationships, jobs, success orwhatever it is.
And then that sabotagingreinforces the belief that
there's something wrong with youand you say things like I knew
(12:13):
that wasn't going to work out,it was too good to be true, I
don't deserve those kind ofthings or whatever that is.
That goes on inside of yourhead.
That then reinforces, it,cements that core belief.
Then what happens is youmanifest that behavior again
that limits you and that keepsyou stuck.
That once again has an outcomethat reinforces the belief.
So it becomes a very devioustrap that we get stuck in.
(12:38):
And the reason it is sodestructive is because the
message that there's somethingwrong with you.
It will put you in a statewhere you feel like things will
never, ever change.
Why?
Because you see you as theproblem, and if you're the
(13:02):
problem, you can't get away fromyou.
You can't change enough,because the person who always
sees you as the problem willstill be there, seeing you as
the problem, even when you makeall of the changes that you
think you're supposed to make.
The you who sees somethingwrong with you is going to keep
finding ways that there's stillsomething wrong with you.
You might think when Iaccomplish this, then it'll
(13:26):
prove to me and to others thatthere's not something wrong with
me.
Or when I fix myself in thisarea, then things will be okay.
But the challenge and the truthabout that you'll find all of
the ways to discount that aboutyourself, any truth that
confronts you about why there'snot something wrong with you.
Your core belief system isgoing to discount that truth
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about you.
It's going to continue to shoveit away because it doesn't want
to validate the truth thatthere's nothing wrong with you.
Because if you validate thetruth that there's nothing wrong
with you, then that feelsunsafe for you, because thinking
something is wrong with you hasprovided you a sense of safety
(14:09):
and a sense of control and tolet go of that feels scary.
As much as you think you wantto get rid of that core belief,
to get rid of that feeling thatthere's something wrong with you
underneath, you don't want toget rid of it Because if you did
, you would Okay.
If you did want to get rid ofthat belief you would have.
(14:33):
Now that might sound harsh, thatmay sound judgmental, that
might feel uncompassionate, thatmight sound harsh, that may
sound judgmental, that mightfeel uncompassionate, but it is
a compassionate statement that'strying to take you to a place
to see that that core belief issomething that you can let go of
, that you're choosing not tobecause it's serving you in a
certain way, and that if youwere to let go of it, it feels
(14:54):
really scary.
So you do things to reinforceit.
Go of it.
It feels really scary, so youdo things to reinforce it.
And then you also rejectevidence that goes contrary to
that belief.
All of that is good news,because what it does is it
creates the distance from youand that belief.
And, as I've always said, wejust need a little gap, we just
(15:14):
need a little crack between abelief and the reality of who we
are.
And by creating some distance,by letting you know that it's
something that you could chooseto let go of, but you're not,
because it's scary and you don'thave anything else to hold on
to, you don't have somethingelse to go to.
Okay.
And that's the challengesometimes with healing there's
(15:37):
this in-between space of lettinggo of something that has served
us but is no longer serving usand yet not having anything else
to go to to hold on to.
Well, that's often a lot of theways that healing works.
We have to go through thisprocess of trust, letting go and
being in that no man's landwhere we just don't know what's
(15:57):
going to happen next, but we'rechoosing to believe that what's
coming next is more healthy thanwhat we've been in.
And this is why people staystuck in toxic relationships,
because they're afraid to let goof what they have, even though
it's terrible and it's notserving them, because they don't
know what else they're going tobe able to grab onto when they
leave.
And that leap of faith and thattrusting of letting go of
(16:21):
something, being in that placeof uncertainty, that lack of
control, that lack of havingsomething to make us feel safe
and secure, is really scary.
But it is an important part ofthe healing process and in
today's episode I want to helpyou move from that place of
there's something wrong with meand lessen some of that fear,
(16:42):
lessen some of that sense of nocontrol, to then allow you to
move to a new core belief, whichis there's nothing wrong with
you.
There's never been anythingwrong with you.
If you're struggling with thingslike the imposter syndrome,
feeling like you're not enoughor that you're uniquely broken
or that you can never change, Iwant to encourage you.
Those are thinking patterns,they're limiting beliefs and
(17:05):
they come from our mindset.
Our mindset is the beliefs thatwe hold, the way that we see
the world, the way that we seeourself, and the great thing
about a mindset is that you canchange it.
Now I want to ask you aquestion.
Mindset is that you can changeit.
And now I want to ask you aquestion what would life be like
for you if you didn't havethose belief systems?
Just take a moment and imaginethat Connect with it.
(17:26):
Who would you be without thebelief that you're an imposter,
without the belief that you'renot enough, without the belief
that you have to do all of thesethings to be loved and accepted
, who would you be?
Well, the good news is, you canbecome that, and you do it by
transforming your mindset.
So, if you're ready to let goof those limiting beliefs,
(17:46):
transform your mindset andcreate the life that you
actually want to live.
I want to encourage you to applyfor my one-on-one coaching
program called Mindset Mastery.
It's a 12-week program that Icreated to help you transform
your mindset, to move you fromthose limiting beliefs that are
keeping you stuck, towards agrowth mindset, an expansive
(18:07):
mindset.
Over the 12 weeks, we'll worktogether to help you create a
clear and compelling vision foryour life, to develop a healthy
and self-compassionaterelationship with yourself,
identify and transform thoselimiting beliefs, develop a
growth mindset and, mostimportantly, you'll have a
partner on your journey.
You don't have to do this alone.
(18:28):
So if you're serious abouttransforming your mindset and
letting go of those limitingbeliefs that got you stuck and
you feel like you can't moveforward, then I want to
encourage you to check out theshow notes in this episode or go
to my website atjerryhendersonorg.
Forward slash mindset and applyfor the program.
So don't wait any longer, don'thesitate, don't talk yourself
(18:50):
out of it, because, remember,the most important relationship
you have in your life is the onethat you have with yourself,
and it's time for you to show upfor you like you've been
showing up for everybody else.
So how do we begin to heal andlet go of that core belief.
Well, the first thing is doingexactly what I'm doing right now
(19:11):
shining light on the corebelief that there's something
wrong with you as a false,limiting belief.
We're just going to call it forwhat it is.
Now, before I move on, I wantto help you with something.
As I talk about healing andletting go of this belief, I am
pretty sure, if you're anythinglike me in your healing journey,
(19:32):
these things are going to startto pop up in your mind.
You're going to start to thinkthings like well, yeah, sure,
you can talk about this becauseyou're healthy, you're healed,
you're whole and you didn't havethe same experience that I had.
Or I'm different and I'muniquely broken.
Or, yeah, I see people who can,you know, move on and heal, but
for some reason I can't, andthat's because you know I've got
(19:53):
this problem or that problem,all problem or that problem.
All of that is that thing ofbelieving that there's something
wrong with you and it's poppingup because you're scared to
move away from that core belief.
Let me say that again when youmake all of the excuses in your
head about why somebody else canheal but you can't, and you
(20:14):
create this dissonance between,yeah, this person, because they
have this, this and this andthey didn't experience that,
that and that.
That's why they can get healthy, but I can't.
What all of that is is it'sthat core belief coming up and
manifesting in a different way.
So if you experience that, thatvoice begins to visit you as I
talk about all of these things,I want you to recognize that
(20:36):
that's what it is, okay.
Now here's a second powerfulrealization that can help you.
The first one shining light onthe fact that there's that
belief.
It's not true.
It's something that wasdesigned to keep you safe.
The second is this statementwhich, when I first heard it, it
really shifted things in mymind, and the statement goes
like this Maybe the only thingthat's wrong with you is the
(21:01):
belief that there's somethingwrong with you.
When I heard that, that reallyopened my mind.
It opened up my ability to lookat it differently.
It's kind of the same statementaround the only thing to fear is
fear itself.
And it's the reality that theonly thing that's limiting us is
not that there's somethingwrong with us, but it is the
(21:22):
belief that there's somethingwrong with us.
But it is the belief thatthere's something wrong with us,
that it is a belief that we'veheld on to, and it is simply
that a belief.
And you might say, well, nowI've got a lot of evidence for
that belief.
Now you have evidence thatreinforces a belief that when
the belief gets let go of, theevidence won't be there because
(21:44):
you won't be looking for thatevidence.
You'll start to look forevidence that says that you're
not broken, that there's notsomething wrong with you, and
you'll start to gravitatetowards seeing beautiful things
that are in your life and you'llstop selectively paying
attention to all of the negativeand you'll begin to see the
positive.
It's like anxiety for many of usthat the anxiety around having
(22:08):
anxiety kicks in anxiety itself.
The fear of having a panicattack is what will often kick
in a panic attack.
So that core belief that thereis something wrong with me is
the thing that then causes thereto be something wrong with us,
okay.
So I'd encourage you to writethat statement down, really, sit
(22:29):
with it, that maybe the onlything that's wrong with me is
the belief that there'ssomething wrong with me.
And if I can let go of thatbelief, then my whole system
will begin to change, my wholebeliefs will begin to change.
My whole beliefs will begin tochange.
The things that I look for, therelationships that I'm in, all
of that will begin to change,because I'm no longer trying to
(22:50):
support that belief about myself.
Now, the next thing I want todiscuss about letting go of that
belief, I want you to sit downand do some journaling around it
.
You might say, well, I'm notreally a journaler Well, I
wasn't either.
But what journaling around it.
You might say, well, I'm notreally a journaler Well, I
wasn't either.
But what journaling did for meis it allowed me to put things
on paper and examine them moreobjectively?
Because as long as it stayschurning in our mind, we can't
(23:14):
see it, we can't reallyunderstand it, we can't get our
hands around how unrealisticsome of that thinking is.
But writing it out really helpsus, and often what happens when
we begin to journal is we gointo more of a flow with it.
We begin to move past justwriting a statement to then
reflecting on that statement,and what does that statement
(23:34):
reveal?
And it begins to, you know,really lead us down a path of
some aha moments or some truths,and so in healing, I think
journaling is really important.
However, that journaling wouldwork for you, and here's the
question I have found to be veryhelpful for many people in
journaling around this topic,and it's this question who would
(23:54):
I be without the belief thatthere's something wrong with me?
Let me say it again who would Ibe without the belief that
there was something wrong withme?
And as you write that sentenceout, take time and sit with it,
meditate on it.
Visualize who you would be ifyou didn't have the belief
(24:18):
system or the thought thatthere's something wrong with you
.
What would transform, whatwould change?
What would you feel like?
Okay, let all of that come up,really connect with it, really
feel it.
Then I want you to move on tothis next question what scares
you about being that person?
Is there anything about beingin that place that brings up
(24:41):
feelings that you're notcomfortable with?
And if there are, I want you towrite that out, write out why
that feels uncomfortable, whyyou're afraid of that.
For instance, if you have adesire to be promoted in your
workspace and you realize thatwhen you get promoted or you
begin to get into that position,that there'll be more eyes on
(25:02):
you, more expectations on you,and then, all of a sudden, you
understand that.
Well, that might expose that Idon't deserve to be in that role
, or that might put too muchpressure on me and I can't
handle that and it might triggerthings in my life.
See, that's that fear that'sunderneath there.
That's saying to you that youfeel like an imposter, you feel
like there's something wrongwith you, and when you get into
(25:23):
that role, there'll be even morelight shown on you and that's
potentially why you continue tosabotage yourself out of going
for that, out of going for thosepositions and doing the things
that you know would be necessaryin order to get there.
So that leads us into the nextjournaling prompt, which is how
is that fear keeping you safe?
(25:44):
So you've written out who youwould be if you didn't have that
belief, and you've reallydreamed and you've really
thought about it, and thenyou've uncovered some things
that cause you some anxietyaround those dreams and around
that person.
And then we now want to ask thequestion how is that fear
keeping me safe?
How is that fear reinforcingthe belief that there's
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something wrong with me?
And what all of this journalingis doing?
The reason behind it is tobring us to a place where we can
identify what a core belief isthat we have, and you'll often
then begin to identify where thecore belief came from.
You didn't always have that corebelief.
Okay, I want you to understand.
(26:25):
You were not born with the corebelief that there was something
wrong with you.
It was something that washanded to you.
You had experiences that gaveit to you and it wound up
becoming a predominant beliefabout yourself.
It became one of those core,fundamental beliefs about who
you are.
The true, authentic you is stillunderneath that belief, and so
much of this work is aboutunlayering all of that and
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returning to the authentic youthat you are before that belief
ever showed up, and to begin toshine light on the fact that it
is this false belief and thatyou can return.
And that's why I titled my bookReturning Returning to the
Authentic Self, the authenticself where nothing has been able
(27:12):
to touch it, nothing hasstained it.
You've always been light andlove.
We just get confused, we justget deceived with things that
get layered on us fromexperiences in life, and then we
reinforce those experiences andwe get super confused and we
get lost.
(27:32):
And so much of this work isabout returning to that person,
that authentic you that sitsunderneath that core belief
that's just waiting for you tosee, that, just waiting for you
to let go of those beliefs.
And so much of that hinges onhow is it making me safe?
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Because when you identify howit's making you safe, you can
then begin to identify otherways to feel safe.
And that's the last journalingprompt that I'm going to ask you
to do as a part of thisexercise is to ask yourself the
question what's another way thatI could feel safe without
having that core belief?
And then let whatever answerscome up and write that out.
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Okay, what other ways could Iprovide myself safety or feel
safe without that core beliefthat there's something wrong
with me?
And what that question is goingto do is it's going to help
bridge the gap, that scary placeof letting go of the sense that
there's something wrong withyou but yet not having something
(28:36):
else to hold on to, yet right.
So we're trying to giveourselves just something to hold
on to in that space as wetransition away from that core
belief.
So what's another belief orwhat's another thing or behavior
or something that you could do?
It might be a mantra that youdevelop that you go to.
It might be a place that you goto.
It might be journaling that yougo to.
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Whatever it is that gives youthe sense that that core belief
isn't true and you can begin tolet go of it, still feel safe
and move back to yourself, yourauthentic self.
And in closing, I want to giveyou this phrase that you can say
, that can help with thattransition, and I want you to
actually work through this withme right now, and it's this
(29:21):
phrase or this statement I amsafe and I allow myself to let
go of the belief that there'ssomething wrong with me.
I am safe and I choose to allowmyself to be the beautiful and
amazing person that I already am.
Well, thank you for being a partof another episode of the
(29:43):
Permission to Love podcast.
I'm grateful that I already amWell.
Thank you for being a part ofanother episode of the
Permission to Love podcast.
I'm grateful that you're here.
And finally, I just got a fewmore things that I wanna share
with you today.
Number one is I created a guidefor you, a self-assessment guide
about how to have a healthierrelationship with yourself.
It's really designed to help youand to prompt you each day to
examine the five key areas ofwhat a healthy self-relationship
(30:05):
looks like, or the five keyareas that we can begin to
measure around what a healthyself-relationship looks like.
So you'll find the link to thatfree download in the show notes
of this episode or you cansimply go to my website at
jerryhendersonorg.
And I also want to take a quickmoment to remind you.
If you've not yet had a chanceto subscribe or to follow this
podcast, please take a moment todo that.
(30:26):
That's going to keep youupdated on when new episodes
come out.
And if you haven't had a chanceto rate it or review it, please
take a moment to do that,because that's going to continue
to extend the reach of thispodcast so that other people can
become familiar about the workof how they can heal their
relationship with themselves.
And finally, I want to remindyou, as always, that you are
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worthy of your own love.