It's Only A Wee-Wee, So What's The Big Deal?

When my buddy Utah Phillips recorded my song, ‘It’s Only A Wee-Wee, So What’s The Big Deal?’, he introduced it by saying,

“Now here’s my idea of a kids’ song folks! Full bore, overhead cam, spoke wire-wheels, no holds barred damn kids’ song! None of that ‘knicky-knacky-nu’ stuff we were stuck with when we were kids. When’s the last time you actually said ‘wee-wee’ in public? ‘It’s only a wee-wee, so what’s the big deal? It’s only a wee-wee so what’s all the fuss? It’s only a wee-wee and everyone’s got one, there’s better things to discuss!”

It’s a fun song I wrote in 1981 designed to open up safe discussions about how our binary gender-roles assign many attributes to boys and men that also described girls and women, … and visa-versa. Females can be strong and heroic. Males can be gentle and caring. Let’s just act like ourselves!

Illustration by Terri Asher

That was almost 50 years ago! Nowadays we’re aware of a slew of other factors we need to consider as we discover ‘who’ we are with regard to our sexual identity, orientation, biological, physical, emotional, hormonal, and genetic make-up! There are so many different factors now in the wide spectrum of information we have to consider, that it’s no longer possible to make a simple binary choice of a label that fits us correctly.

Our gender identities have been limited to being either male or female for thousands of years, and we carry those gender labels with us, throughout our lives, that were assigned to us solely on the physical appearance of our genitals at birth.

Our predominant culture demands that we accept our gender assignment, and when it does not fit with our own experience of ourselves, it takes great courage to push back against the pressure to conform. Some of us have been lucky enough to have family, friends, and other allies who support us in our exploration of this part of our human journey as we grow up, but many have not had that support.

If we do speak up, it’s often alone, and we are attacked, abused, and discounted for simply not fitting into one of the two choices we’re given. So here we are singing ‘It’s Only A Wee-Wee’ at a ‘Healing Power of Laughter And Play Conference’ with 1400 hundred human service professionals!

I hereby officially reframe my chorus to this song by saying:

“Having discussions with other safe, caring people as we grow and explore and discover who we are as sexual human beings is a VERY BIG DEAL! We begin to free ourselves from the constraints of our binary assignments when we sing together about our genitals! Please join us!”

IT’S ONLY A WEE-WEE, SO WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?

As soon as you’re born G

Grown-ups check where you pee C

And then they decide D-D7

Just how you’re supposed t’be G-(C-G)

Girls pink and quiet, G

Boys noisy and blue C

Seems like a dumb way D-D7

To choose what you’ll do G-(C-G)

Cho: It’s only a wee-wee G

So what’s the big deal? C

It’s only a wee-wee D-D7

So what’s all the fuss? G

It’s only a wee-wee G

And everyone’s got one C

There’s better D-D7

Things to discuss!! G-(C-G)