Butt-Breathing Turtles and YouTube History

Ever wondered which animal can hold its breath longer than dolphins? Or what happened when Napoleon faced an unexpected enemy? Prepare for a whirlwind tour of the gloriously useless as we unpack history's oddest moments and nature's strangest adaptations.

Today marks the anniversary of YouTube's humble beginnings. Back in 2005, the first video ever uploaded wasn't a slick production but simply "Me at the Zoo" - just a guy talking about elephants. From those unassuming 18 seconds grew an empire of content that would forever change how we consume media. Speaking of historic debuts, this date also saw France introduce the guillotine in 1792 - the air fryer of public decapitation, if you will.

We celebrate birthdays of legends Al Pacino and Tim Duncan before diving into a "Did You Know" segment packed with mind-bending facts. Discover how sloths are secretly breath-holding champions, why Napoleon retreated from an army of rabbits, and the shocking truth that turtles can breathe through their posteriors during hibernation. Our "Crazy But True" stories feature a tortoise that survived 30 years in an attic, a cat that served as mayor for two decades, and the luckiest fast food mix-up in history.

Facts don't need to make sense; they just need to be true. Join me for more surprising knowledge next week as we explore squirrels on meth, baby-stealing penguins, and medieval toothpaste. Email your weirdest thoughts or follow us on social media @philsfruitlessfacts. Stay loud, stay weird, and remember - sometimes the most entertaining facts are completely fruitless.

Send Phil a message! He’d love to hear your thoughts, questions, or topic ideas. Who knows? It could be featured on the show!

fruit·less
/ˈfro͞otləs/
1. unproductive or useless.
Ex. Phil's facts sure are fruitless!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Fruitless.
Fruitless, useless or failingto achieve the desired outcome
Fruitless.
This is Phil's Fruitless Facts,a short, fun weekly podcast

(00:27):
filling you up with entertainingbut useless facts and
information.
Welcome to Phil's FruitlessFacts.
And now your host, phil Meyer.
Welcome to Phil's FruitlessFacts, the only show where you
learn more useless knowledgethan a failed magician's memoir.
I'm Phil, and today's show isgoing to go full nuts because

(00:51):
we're going to throw it all theway back to the very first
YouTube video ever uploaded.
Yep, that's right.
We're going to dive intoInternet history prehistoric
TikToks and butt-breathingturtles, because nothing says
reliable source like this face,let's go.
It was on this date in 2005.
Youtube's first video ever wasuploaded.

(01:12):
It was called Me at the Zoo andit featured a dude talking
about elephants, and that's it.
That's the whole thing.
A billion cat videos,conspiracy rants and makeup
tutorials.
Later it all started with oneawkward guy, but you know what?
The internet has never actuallyrecovered from that.
Also on this date in 1792, theguillotine debuts in France.

(01:35):
So the French decided tostreamline execution and
introduced the guillotine.
Hey, it was clean, it was fastand weirdly popular, kind of
like an air fryer of publicdecapitation.
Bon app appetit.
Celebrity birthdays for today.
Happy birthday to Al Pacino thelegend, the myth.
He was the man who taught usall how to shout and chew

(01:56):
scenery at the same time.
Also, happy birthday to TimDuncan.
He had to have beenbasketball's most polite
assassin.
This guy made bank shots looksexy, right?
He was a true icon of awkwardinterviews and unstoppable
footwork.
Time now for our DYK aka.
Did you Know?
So get this.

(02:17):
Did you know that sloths canhold their breath longer than a
dolphin?
Sloths, sloths.
Now, they might look likemoss-covered marshmallows, but
they're secretly breath-holdingninjas.
Meanwhile, I'm over here andI'm getting winded brushing my
teeth.
Also, did you know thatNapoleon was once attacked by

(02:39):
rabbits?
Apparently, he planned acelebratory rabbit hunt, but the
rabbits, no joke, they rushedhim Hundreds of them.
It was a bunnyatory rabbit hunt, but the rabbits, no joke, they
rushed him Hundreds of them.
It was a bunny ambush.
Hey, and did you know that theaverage person walks the
equivalent of five times aroundthe world in a lifetime?
I mean seriously, you'veprobably circled the globe and

(02:59):
still can't find your keys, ifyou're anything like me.
Time now for our crazy but truestory segment.
So I guess there was a womanthat found out that her pet
tortoise was alive in her atticfor 30 years, so she thought it
was lost in the 80s.
Turns out it was just up there,like vibing in the insulation.
Probably has got better creditthan me.

(03:19):
In a town in Alaska elected acat as a mayor, so his name was
Stubbs.
I guess he served 20 years,zero political experience, still
somehow more effective thanprobably half of our Congress,
right?
And what about this?
One Guy orders onion rings andgets a bag of money instead.
A fast food employeeaccidentally gave him the night

(03:42):
drop instead of his curly fries.
That had to be the first timein history.
Somebody actually said hey,this wasn't what I ordered and
didn't complain.
I love this.
So did you know that turtlesbreathe through their butts?
So I guess that's real.
They go full snorkel backdoormode during hibernation.

(04:03):
Meanwhile I'm over here.
I can't even hold my breathduring allergy season.
Hey, what do we got coming uphere in some future shows, gosh,
we're going to be talking aboutsquirrels on meth, penguins
stealing babies, the shockingtruth behind medieval toothpaste
.
I'm Phil and I'm here to remindyou that facts don't need to
make sense, they just need to betrue.

(04:29):
Email me your weirdest thoughtsat phil at
philsfruitlessfactscom.
Follow the madness on Facebook,tiktok and Instagram at
philsfruitlessfacts.
Until next time, stay loud,stay weird, and I'll catch you
next time.