January 7, 2025 • 19 mins
Today's Play: Kevin Ye discusses the rapid growth of padel internationally, including his company's (PATL) plans for expansion, and shares his extensive coaching experience working with youth, college, and adult athletes. He emphasizes the importance of creating a positive sports environment for young players and avoiding overbearing "crazy parent" behavior that can lead to burnout. The conversation highlights strategies for parents to provide supportive encouragement while maintaining perspective and balance in their child's sports participation.
Today's Coach: Kevin Ye is the co-owner of PATL, a padel company with locations in Atlanta and Louisville that offers coaching, community play, and instructions to all ages. Previously, Kevin Ye coached college tennis at Emory University and helped the team win the NCAA Championship in 2021, two UAA titles as well as the 2018 National Indoor Team Championship. He was named the NCAA Division III Regional and National Assistant Coach of the Year as well as part of the 2023-2024 UAA Coaching Staff of the Year. He also coached competitive juniors at ACE Academy in Norcross, GA as the Head Professional of Junior Development. In college, Ye played for Kenyon College, a NCAA Division III program in Gambier, OH. He helped lead the team to four NCAC Conference championships and reach the finals of the NCAA Division III National Championship in 2012, while the following year in 2013, helped lead the team to the NCAA Division III National Indoor Championship.
To learn more about Bryant College Coaching, and download our new e-book, click here or go to www.bryantcollegecoaching.com
Picking Teams: A Playbook for Parents is produced by: Amy Bryant and Sasha Melamud
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:04):
Awesome. Kevin Yves so good to see you. We used to
spend every day together, everyafternoon, you know, and now I
only get to see you, I don'tknow, every month or so. It's
just feels like way too long.
But how have you been how's
Kevin Ye (00:19):
Everything's going well in our world, ground zero
everything going?
to one to 100 to 1000, everystep is someone just texted me
(00:39):
the other day in a wishing thesecond one year anniversary for
our cattle business, and I say,Oh, I can't even remember that,
so you keep going. So it's beenfun. It's been a new adventure.
Definitely miss, miss the teamand miss every participant there
(01:00):
for quite some time. It'sdifferent, you know, adjusting
to a different life anddefinitely miss it, but excited
for further path ahead as
Unknown (01:08):
well. Yeah. Well, it's always exciting to chart a path
forward and try something new,as you know, that's what I did a
couple years ago as well. So I'mtotally supportive of following
your dreams. But for thoselisteners who don't know what is
Padel and what have you created?
You created a monster, but like,what is it?
Kevin Ye (01:30):
So it started in Mexico in 1969 and it's a cross
between tennis, squash,racquetball, and actually will
derive from a score calledPlatform fence, which is pretty
popular in the northeast, BigWest and some of the colder
stakes of the US. It's played ina glass court, so the walls are
(01:51):
all glass. The ball looks verysimilar to tennis ball, and the
scoring is exact same as tennisas well. So playing two and
three sets, deuce, tie breaker,six, all of that. So someone
that comes from tennis can pickit up quite easily. And the
whole goal is the same, samething as tennis is, you know,
(02:11):
you're hitting the ball across anet. So that's very familiar.
Ball has to hit the groundbefore it hits the wall,
otherwise it's out. So a lot ofthat very similar strokes are
quite similar as well. There's alot of Follies. So anyone from
tennis or bracket sportsbackground tends to pick it up
pretty quickly. But it's a it'sa sport that's kind of taken
over the world and right now,taking over the US, as popular
(02:34):
as Pickleball is growing in theUS. That's pretty much the same
growth added as it is in theentire world right now, in the
US is kind of the last to getthis forward, but it's growing
pretty rapidly every year. Thenumber of facilities, of courts
double and triple. That'samazing.
Unknown (02:52):
And you have two facilities. Am I right? Correct?
Yes.
Kevin Ye (02:55):
So we have, we started our first location here in
Atlanta, over in the Shanleyarea our second location, which
we started and opened up back inMay, that's in Louisville,
Kentucky, and we're currentlyopening up a third location in
West Midtown of Atlanta.
Amy Bryant (03:12):
I didn't know.
that's amazing.e
Kevin Ye (03:14):
we're hoping to open up by next year, and looking
into several more locations toopen up by the end of next year,
or into the following year aswell.
Amy Bryant (03:32):
That's amazing.
Truly bringing Padel to thepeople. I love it. So for anyone
listening, if you aren'tfamiliar with Padel, you can
look up Kevin's company. It is,what's the website, Kevin? Make
sure I get it right.
Kevin Ye (03:48):
Play PATL.com,
Unknown (03:52):
play, PA TL.com, awesome. That's amazing. So that
was a little advertisement foryou, Kevin. I were just talking
about how that. You know, thisis a new podcasts. I don't have
any advertising sponsors yet. Ithink in order to qualify, you
have to have 1000 downloads inone month. You know, we're
getting close. We're gettingthere, but, but that was our
little advertising. That's howwe do it here. We just kind of
(04:14):
piece things together. And youknow, it's amateur hour here at
the playbook for parents. Butanyways, our podcast is about
coaching. And Kevin, you havebeen a coach for most of your
life. Now, really, you havecoached youth, you have coached
College, and now you're coachingadults with Padel imagine, or
(04:35):
coaching all ages, of course. Sotell us a little bit about all
of your coaching experiences?
Kevin Ye (04:42):
Yeah, so in college every summer, some some college
kids go back and they coachother academies or locally
during summertime. So that'skind of what I did with the
younger kids coming up and Igraduated. I started as Amy here
in Atlanta, which is where Igrew up playing tennis, and
actually had to make thatdecision, I think, between there
(05:04):
and coaching for you, Amy.
Unknown (05:07):
I didn't like the decision you made at one point,
but you came back to me.
Kevin Ye (05:10):
He goes there for about between college and after
college, about 10 years or so,so coaching Junior Tennis there
Head of Development with ajunior program. We coach some
adults as well. So anywhere froma little four year old, tiny
talks all the way to 7080, yearold adults, so everything in
(05:32):
between. So that's kind of whereI got my coaching career
started. And then Amy, I thinkwe talked back in 2000 to 17, I
believe. And so Amy brought meback on as a part time volunteer
coach for several years. Andthat's how the college career
coaching started, when I coachedfive years part time and then
(05:56):
two years last two years fulltime at Emory, and then
transition now, actually justgot our coach approved for his
visa space coming over onFebruary. So since then, I've
been de facto title coach.
Amy Bryant (06:08):
Wow.
Kevin Ye (06:10):
New sport. I'm still learning all the ins and outs of
it, but with all the coachingbackground, it's been, been an
easy transition into that justjust new subject, is all Sure.
Unknown (06:23):
So what do you see as the main difference between
coaching youth, starting at thetiny tots, to coaching College,
and then I want to hear yourthoughts on college and adults
as well.
Kevin Ye (06:37):
Yeah, that's good question. So with the kids, I
think the general overallconsensus, just coaching,
General is making sure whoeveryou are coaching to have a good
experience. Think that's themost important thing. Otherwise,
what's the point of playing thatsport or doing activity? So I
think the roots of thefoundation of it is making sure
(06:57):
that they're having fun. They'regetting a good experience out of
that. With the tiny talks,again, it's about having fun,
getting their interest involvedin the sport, you know, coming
home, wanting to play it again.
That is up to, up to the coachto make sure they have that
experience and have that, thatgood time when they're out
there, you know, as they startto develop more focused on it
and spending more timedeveloping a little bit more on
(07:18):
the technique side footwork andpulling in on those two aspects
side by side to develop theirgame. And as they kind of reach
into kind of middle school era,I think they're usually more
singular, focused on on aspecific sport, and in that
side, guiding them throughtournaments, guiding them
(07:40):
through coaching on court offcourt, and working on their game
a little bit more specifically,but also coaching them a little
bit through middle school socialera as well. Think there's a lot
going on for them as schoolpicks up, social life picks up
and and having to navigate allthat all at once to be somewhat
(08:01):
tough, and then they get intothe high school era, looking at
colleges as you know, that'sthat's your expertise nowadays.
It's a lot about guiding througha little bit more from that
independence and adulthood andhaving a little bit of a balance
in their life. Not everyone'swatching you anymore to find out
(08:23):
how to manage their time, theirsocial life, manage their school
life, a lot, a lot going on atonce, and feel that the coach
helps them through that as well.
So just throughout differentstages of their lives, I think
that coincides with their tennisgame too.
Unknown (08:42):
Absolutely, and how did the parents kind of fall into
this coaching and developmentpiece from the young ages all
the way through to college?
Kevin Ye (08:53):
Yeah, what I've seen kind of the biggest difference
in the youth and the college, Iguess parenting, besides the
course or age, I feel that whenthey get to college, parents
tend to be a little bit morehands off. When they're throwing
up playing tennis, they tend tobe a little bit more hands on.
And I think with the separationof possibly distance, you know,
(09:16):
I think that could help that aswell as a lot of responsibility
is taken off, at least from thetennis side, off of the parents,
onto the coach, more. So, youknow, not taking tournaments,
not having to describe practice,all of that. So I find that when
they come and watch and supportmore, not that they're less
important as a kid, but I feelthat, you know, they can be
(09:37):
there just to cheer, kind of atthe sidelines and really enjoy
watching the kid. But, you know,when I see, when I was coaching
Junior Tennis, I mean, as youknow this, I think the there's a
little stigma around, you know,having a crazy tennis Bryant and
all that, which I feel thatsometimes it can be difficult to
separate that responsibility ofthe parent as they are very
(09:58):
involved a lot of time if theywant their kids fast forward and
want them to seed. So I thinkthere's a little bit extra
pressure on on both of them to,you know, have a little success
in the junior days, becausethere is a time commitment
process. And I think that's whyyou start the crazy, quote,
unquote crazy parents, wherethey start to become little
(10:18):
overbearing or little pressureon the kids. And I think it's
tough at times to have thatborder kind of be crossed a
little bit. You know, it can betough in those regards.
Unknown (10:29):
So part of the reason that I started this podcast was
because I saw lots of thosecrazy parents that you
mentioned, because we see them alot in tennis, and I really
wanted to create something thatcould help parents to make a
choice to become the supportiveparent that I know we all as a
(10:49):
parent myself, we all want tobe. And sometimes we cross that
line, like you're talking about,and we chastise ourselves later,
but in the moment, you know, wejust get all caught up and we
become that crazy parent. Ithappens, you know, in a snap of
the fingers, like we don't evenexpect it to happen in it, and
we try, but, but I think that ifwe are really aware of what it
(11:15):
looks like to cross over intothe dark side, then we can take
the steps to prevent it. So withthat in mind, tell me about the
craziest parent you've everseen. No names here.
Kevin Ye (11:36):
In those regards, I wouldn't say from college, but
more in the senior days, Iremember one, one parent. It
wasn't it was in a player mind,like it was an opposite player.
The little girl was playing a 10and under tournament on the
short court with orange dots,and barely anyone knew what was
(11:56):
going on, you know. And bothparents were there. So the
opponent's parent, the kid I wascoaching her parent, her dad,
was there as well. They're stilltrying to figure out what's in
and out as well. So there'sgonna be a lot of balls that may
be in that are called out andvice versa, and that can
(12:18):
sometimes drive parents a littlebit mad and crazy. And so as
that was happening again, partof the coach coaches jobs, also
coaching the parents as well.
And that's something I focusedon your coach to be like, Should
we call that boss? We get theref. Is not on purpose. They're
still figuring out they need tocall line drives. They clearly
(12:43):
talked about this with the kidas well. And then remember, the
opponent's kid went to thebathroom. You know, it's hot,
dead of summer, maybe 95 degreesout there. And so my kids dad
shout out to her, make sure, youknow, drink some water, give
them a shave. There's yourweight, and the other parent
freaked out. They freaked outlike you can't be coaching
(13:04):
there. This is, this is aviolation, yada yada. It got
escalated so badly that italmost
Unknown (13:12):
got to a fist fight.
I've just fight over 10 andunder tenants correct, the
closest
Kevin Ye (13:16):
I've ever seen someone get to a fight over a tennis
match, and 10 and others aswell. So and this was, and this
was a parent telling his kid todrink water, or telling the
other kid to drink water,telling his kid to drink water.
Because either way, yeah, eitherway, it's like, it's a behind
gesture, but people wannamakesure the kids not gonna pass
out. So I think somebody'strying to get kind of caught up
(13:38):
in the game and the rulessometimes, and sometimes it can
be lashed out in other ways aswell. ,
Unknown (13:46):
So, well, I mean, let's think about it like if I were to
tell you to go drink water on abathroom break, what could that
be code for? I mean, we loseparents lose their minds. It's,
it's unbelievable. And then 10and under tennis, that's absurd.
Okay, so that's, you know, greatstory. I think that's helpful
(14:09):
for the parents listening tojust maybe take some deep
breaths if they feel likethere's some coaching going on,
or you don't want your opponentto remind their child to drink
water. Take some deep breaths.
If you feel yourself elevating,you know what I love. And I
started doing this when I wascoaching Kevin, you might
remember I wear my Apple watch,and you know how it it, it
(14:31):
tracks your pulse. So if mypulse rate went up, then I knew
I was getting to that state oflike, okay, I might snap on on
my college players and so Iwould take some deep breaths
there to make sure that I didn'tlose it. So that could be a tip
for parents as well. Maybe setup your your iPhone to ding when
(14:53):
your heart rate escalates. Butokay, so, so that was a good
what not to do. Example, give usan example of a time when you
saw parents really doing theright thing.
Kevin Ye (15:10):
Yeah, I think that happens more often times.
Amy Bryant (15:16):
That's what we want to hear
Kevin Ye (15:17):
Those stories with you know, a lot of parents, you
know, being able to, I don'tthink there's like, one big
specific thing, but a lot ofthem, you know, just being very
supportive and being there, justmaking sure that, you know, win
or lose, there's a current, butalso a little constructive, not
(15:39):
crisis, but constructive helpmove forward, what to improve as
well. I think that's kind of thebiggest key, besides just
encouraging, right? So if youwant to see a path forward for
the kid as well, and so I thinkthat's one of the biggest
things, I think, leading intothat topping that conversation
in terms of how parents can besupportive, is, I see a lot of
(16:00):
times the parents like to try tocoach the kid different ways.
And, you know, sometimes I canbe confusing for the kid too,
especially when there's thoughtsand ideas coming from different
mouths. It's kind of likeanalogy, kind of too many cooks
in the kitchen. That path orbecomes a little bit confusing
to me, a little bit misguided aswell in terms of which path to
(16:22):
go. And so then when thathappens, it's, you know, you're
working on 10 different thingsat once, and it's really hard to
accomplish anything at thatpoint because it becomes so
overwhelming for the kid. So Iwould say, finally, the best
advice is, if they want to helpin those regards, it's really
important to be on one page withthe coach, but also just kind of
(16:44):
creating that supportenvironment to make sure, again,
the kid has a good experience.
Back to that quote crazy parent,when they're putting a lot of
pressure, but lot of ways tohave to perform, and I think
that ultimately creates a littlebit fear, and doesn't let the
kid at their best either. So,you know, at the end of the day,
it's just making sure you dothere for them. I think the most
(17:06):
important thing
Amy Bryant (17:09):
that's great. I think that's so key. And you
know, I typically recommend thatparents don't try to coach their
kids, especially parents thatknow the sport, because then the
young athlete tends to try toimpress or make their parent
happy, and they there gets to bethis whole, like you said,
(17:30):
confusion surrounding love andsuccess and how they achieve
their parents Love by achievingsuccess versus just being a kid
and getting the love becausethey're a kid. So, yeah, I tend
to, I tend to recommend to myfamilies that they they stay
(17:50):
step away from coaching and leadthe coaching to the experts like
you, for sure. That's in thebest interest of these student
athletes. And then the otherthing too. I mean, you know, you
touched upon this, but burnoutis a real thing, and when, when
we're coaching these kids atsuch a young age, by the time
they get to be in high school orcollege, sometimes they're just
(18:13):
over it. You know, whether theystart their sport too early,
whether they specialize in thesport too early, whether they
are ready to be involved inother things that they had to
sacrifice for years because theywere putting all of their energy
into their sport, and whateverit is there is such a risk of
(18:36):
your child just giving up theirsport prematurely, if, if we
coach them, and if we place toomuch pressure on them. So I
think that's really importantfor families to remember.
Awesome. Kevin Yves so good to see you. We used to
spend every day together, everyafternoon, you know, and now I
only get to see you, I don'tknow, every month or so. It's
just feels like way too long.
But how have you been how's
Kevin Ye (00:19):
Everything's going well in our world, ground zero
everything going?
to one to 100 to 1000, everystep is someone just texted me
(00:39):
the other day in a wishing thesecond one year anniversary for
our cattle business, and I say,Oh, I can't even remember that,
so you keep going. So it's beenfun. It's been a new adventure.
Definitely miss, miss the teamand miss every participant there
(01:00):
for quite some time. It'sdifferent, you know, adjusting
to a different life anddefinitely miss it, but excited
for further path ahead as
Unknown (01:08):
well. Yeah. Well, it's always exciting to chart a path
forward and try something new,as you know, that's what I did a
couple years ago as well. So I'mtotally supportive of following
your dreams. But for thoselisteners who don't know what is
Padel and what have you created?
You created a monster, but like,what is it?
Kevin Ye (01:30):
So it started in Mexico in 1969 and it's a cross
between tennis, squash,racquetball, and actually will
derive from a score calledPlatform fence, which is pretty
popular in the northeast, BigWest and some of the colder
stakes of the US. It's played ina glass court, so the walls are
(01:51):
all glass. The ball looks verysimilar to tennis ball, and the
scoring is exact same as tennisas well. So playing two and
three sets, deuce, tie breaker,six, all of that. So someone
that comes from tennis can pickit up quite easily. And the
whole goal is the same, samething as tennis is, you know,
(02:11):
you're hitting the ball across anet. So that's very familiar.
Ball has to hit the groundbefore it hits the wall,
otherwise it's out. So a lot ofthat very similar strokes are
quite similar as well. There's alot of Follies. So anyone from
tennis or bracket sportsbackground tends to pick it up
pretty quickly. But it's a it'sa sport that's kind of taken
over the world and right now,taking over the US, as popular
(02:34):
as Pickleball is growing in theUS. That's pretty much the same
growth added as it is in theentire world right now, in the
US is kind of the last to getthis forward, but it's growing
pretty rapidly every year. Thenumber of facilities, of courts
double and triple. That'samazing.
Unknown (02:52):
And you have two facilities. Am I right? Correct?
Yes.
Kevin Ye (02:55):
So we have, we started our first location here in
Atlanta, over in the Shanleyarea our second location, which
we started and opened up back inMay, that's in Louisville,
Kentucky, and we're currentlyopening up a third location in
West Midtown of Atlanta.
Amy Bryant (03:12):
I didn't know.
that's amazing.e
Kevin Ye (03:14):
we're hoping to open up by next year, and looking
into several more locations toopen up by the end of next year,
or into the following year aswell.
Amy Bryant (03:32):
That's amazing.
Truly bringing Padel to thepeople. I love it. So for anyone
listening, if you aren'tfamiliar with Padel, you can
look up Kevin's company. It is,what's the website, Kevin? Make
sure I get it right.
Kevin Ye (03:48):
Play PATL.com,
Unknown (03:52):
play, PA TL.com, awesome. That's amazing. So that
was a little advertisement foryou, Kevin. I were just talking
about how that. You know, thisis a new podcasts. I don't have
any advertising sponsors yet. Ithink in order to qualify, you
have to have 1000 downloads inone month. You know, we're
getting close. We're gettingthere, but, but that was our
little advertising. That's howwe do it here. We just kind of
(04:14):
piece things together. And youknow, it's amateur hour here at
the playbook for parents. Butanyways, our podcast is about
coaching. And Kevin, you havebeen a coach for most of your
life. Now, really, you havecoached youth, you have coached
College, and now you're coachingadults with Padel imagine, or
(04:35):
coaching all ages, of course. Sotell us a little bit about all
of your coaching experiences?
Kevin Ye (04:42):
Yeah, so in college every summer, some some college
kids go back and they coachother academies or locally
during summertime. So that'skind of what I did with the
younger kids coming up and Igraduated. I started as Amy here
in Atlanta, which is where Igrew up playing tennis, and
actually had to make thatdecision, I think, between there
(05:04):
and coaching for you, Amy.
Unknown (05:07):
I didn't like the decision you made at one point,
but you came back to me.
Kevin Ye (05:10):
He goes there for about between college and after
college, about 10 years or so,so coaching Junior Tennis there
Head of Development with ajunior program. We coach some
adults as well. So anywhere froma little four year old, tiny
talks all the way to 7080, yearold adults, so everything in
(05:32):
between. So that's kind of whereI got my coaching career
started. And then Amy, I thinkwe talked back in 2000 to 17, I
believe. And so Amy brought meback on as a part time volunteer
coach for several years. Andthat's how the college career
coaching started, when I coachedfive years part time and then
(05:56):
two years last two years fulltime at Emory, and then
transition now, actually justgot our coach approved for his
visa space coming over onFebruary. So since then, I've
been de facto title coach.
Amy Bryant (06:08):
Wow.
Kevin Ye (06:10):
New sport. I'm still learning all the ins and outs of
it, but with all the coachingbackground, it's been, been an
easy transition into that justjust new subject, is all Sure.
Unknown (06:23):
So what do you see as the main difference between
coaching youth, starting at thetiny tots, to coaching College,
and then I want to hear yourthoughts on college and adults
as well.
Kevin Ye (06:37):
Yeah, that's good question. So with the kids, I
think the general overallconsensus, just coaching,
General is making sure whoeveryou are coaching to have a good
experience. Think that's themost important thing. Otherwise,
what's the point of playing thatsport or doing activity? So I
think the roots of thefoundation of it is making sure
(06:57):
that they're having fun. They'regetting a good experience out of
that. With the tiny talks,again, it's about having fun,
getting their interest involvedin the sport, you know, coming
home, wanting to play it again.
That is up to, up to the coachto make sure they have that
experience and have that, thatgood time when they're out
there, you know, as they startto develop more focused on it
and spending more timedeveloping a little bit more on
(07:18):
the technique side footwork andpulling in on those two aspects
side by side to develop theirgame. And as they kind of reach
into kind of middle school era,I think they're usually more
singular, focused on on aspecific sport, and in that
side, guiding them throughtournaments, guiding them
(07:40):
through coaching on court offcourt, and working on their game
a little bit more specifically,but also coaching them a little
bit through middle school socialera as well. Think there's a lot
going on for them as schoolpicks up, social life picks up
and and having to navigate allthat all at once to be somewhat
(08:01):
tough, and then they get intothe high school era, looking at
colleges as you know, that'sthat's your expertise nowadays.
It's a lot about guiding througha little bit more from that
independence and adulthood andhaving a little bit of a balance
in their life. Not everyone'swatching you anymore to find out
(08:23):
how to manage their time, theirsocial life, manage their school
life, a lot, a lot going on atonce, and feel that the coach
helps them through that as well.
So just throughout differentstages of their lives, I think
that coincides with their tennisgame too.
Unknown (08:42):
Absolutely, and how did the parents kind of fall into
this coaching and developmentpiece from the young ages all
the way through to college?
Kevin Ye (08:53):
Yeah, what I've seen kind of the biggest difference
in the youth and the college, Iguess parenting, besides the
course or age, I feel that whenthey get to college, parents
tend to be a little bit morehands off. When they're throwing
up playing tennis, they tend tobe a little bit more hands on.
And I think with the separationof possibly distance, you know,
(09:16):
I think that could help that aswell as a lot of responsibility
is taken off, at least from thetennis side, off of the parents,
onto the coach, more. So, youknow, not taking tournaments,
not having to describe practice,all of that. So I find that when
they come and watch and supportmore, not that they're less
important as a kid, but I feelthat, you know, they can be
(09:37):
there just to cheer, kind of atthe sidelines and really enjoy
watching the kid. But, you know,when I see, when I was coaching
Junior Tennis, I mean, as youknow this, I think the there's a
little stigma around, you know,having a crazy tennis Bryant and
all that, which I feel thatsometimes it can be difficult to
separate that responsibility ofthe parent as they are very
(09:58):
involved a lot of time if theywant their kids fast forward and
want them to seed. So I thinkthere's a little bit extra
pressure on on both of them to,you know, have a little success
in the junior days, becausethere is a time commitment
process. And I think that's whyyou start the crazy, quote,
unquote crazy parents, wherethey start to become little
(10:18):
overbearing or little pressureon the kids. And I think it's
tough at times to have thatborder kind of be crossed a
little bit. You know, it can betough in those regards.
Unknown (10:29):
So part of the reason that I started this podcast was
because I saw lots of thosecrazy parents that you
mentioned, because we see them alot in tennis, and I really
wanted to create something thatcould help parents to make a
choice to become the supportiveparent that I know we all as a
(10:49):
parent myself, we all want tobe. And sometimes we cross that
line, like you're talking about,and we chastise ourselves later,
but in the moment, you know, wejust get all caught up and we
become that crazy parent. Ithappens, you know, in a snap of
the fingers, like we don't evenexpect it to happen in it, and
we try, but, but I think that ifwe are really aware of what it
(11:15):
looks like to cross over intothe dark side, then we can take
the steps to prevent it. So withthat in mind, tell me about the
craziest parent you've everseen. No names here.
Kevin Ye (11:36):
In those regards, I wouldn't say from college, but
more in the senior days, Iremember one, one parent. It
wasn't it was in a player mind,like it was an opposite player.
The little girl was playing a 10and under tournament on the
short court with orange dots,and barely anyone knew what was
(11:56):
going on, you know. And bothparents were there. So the
opponent's parent, the kid I wascoaching her parent, her dad,
was there as well. They're stilltrying to figure out what's in
and out as well. So there'sgonna be a lot of balls that may
be in that are called out andvice versa, and that can
(12:18):
sometimes drive parents a littlebit mad and crazy. And so as
that was happening again, partof the coach coaches jobs, also
coaching the parents as well.
And that's something I focusedon your coach to be like, Should
we call that boss? We get theref. Is not on purpose. They're
still figuring out they need tocall line drives. They clearly
(12:43):
talked about this with the kidas well. And then remember, the
opponent's kid went to thebathroom. You know, it's hot,
dead of summer, maybe 95 degreesout there. And so my kids dad
shout out to her, make sure, youknow, drink some water, give
them a shave. There's yourweight, and the other parent
freaked out. They freaked outlike you can't be coaching
(13:04):
there. This is, this is aviolation, yada yada. It got
escalated so badly that italmost
Unknown (13:12):
got to a fist fight.
I've just fight over 10 andunder tenants correct, the
closest
Kevin Ye (13:16):
I've ever seen someone get to a fight over a tennis
match, and 10 and others aswell. So and this was, and this
was a parent telling his kid todrink water, or telling the
other kid to drink water,telling his kid to drink water.
Because either way, yeah, eitherway, it's like, it's a behind
gesture, but people wannamakesure the kids not gonna pass
out. So I think somebody'strying to get kind of caught up
(13:38):
in the game and the rulessometimes, and sometimes it can
be lashed out in other ways aswell. ,
Unknown (13:46):
So, well, I mean, let's think about it like if I were to
tell you to go drink water on abathroom break, what could that
be code for? I mean, we loseparents lose their minds. It's,
it's unbelievable. And then 10and under tennis, that's absurd.
Okay, so that's, you know, greatstory. I think that's helpful
(14:09):
for the parents listening tojust maybe take some deep
breaths if they feel likethere's some coaching going on,
or you don't want your opponentto remind their child to drink
water. Take some deep breaths.
If you feel yourself elevating,you know what I love. And I
started doing this when I wascoaching Kevin, you might
remember I wear my Apple watch,and you know how it it, it
(14:31):
tracks your pulse. So if mypulse rate went up, then I knew
I was getting to that state oflike, okay, I might snap on on
my college players and so Iwould take some deep breaths
there to make sure that I didn'tlose it. So that could be a tip
for parents as well. Maybe setup your your iPhone to ding when
(14:53):
your heart rate escalates. Butokay, so, so that was a good
what not to do. Example, give usan example of a time when you
saw parents really doing theright thing.
Kevin Ye (15:10):
Yeah, I think that happens more often times.
Amy Bryant (15:16):
That's what we want to hear
Kevin Ye (15:17):
Those stories with you know, a lot of parents, you
know, being able to, I don'tthink there's like, one big
specific thing, but a lot ofthem, you know, just being very
supportive and being there, justmaking sure that, you know, win
or lose, there's a current, butalso a little constructive, not
(15:39):
crisis, but constructive helpmove forward, what to improve as
well. I think that's kind of thebiggest key, besides just
encouraging, right? So if youwant to see a path forward for
the kid as well, and so I thinkthat's one of the biggest
things, I think, leading intothat topping that conversation
in terms of how parents can besupportive, is, I see a lot of
(16:00):
times the parents like to try tocoach the kid different ways.
And, you know, sometimes I canbe confusing for the kid too,
especially when there's thoughtsand ideas coming from different
mouths. It's kind of likeanalogy, kind of too many cooks
in the kitchen. That path orbecomes a little bit confusing
to me, a little bit misguided aswell in terms of which path to
(16:22):
go. And so then when thathappens, it's, you know, you're
working on 10 different thingsat once, and it's really hard to
accomplish anything at thatpoint because it becomes so
overwhelming for the kid. So Iwould say, finally, the best
advice is, if they want to helpin those regards, it's really
important to be on one page withthe coach, but also just kind of
(16:44):
creating that supportenvironment to make sure, again,
the kid has a good experience.
Back to that quote crazy parent,when they're putting a lot of
pressure, but lot of ways tohave to perform, and I think
that ultimately creates a littlebit fear, and doesn't let the
kid at their best either. So,you know, at the end of the day,
it's just making sure you dothere for them. I think the most
(17:06):
important thing
Amy Bryant (17:09):
that's great. I think that's so key. And you
know, I typically recommend thatparents don't try to coach their
kids, especially parents thatknow the sport, because then the
young athlete tends to try toimpress or make their parent
happy, and they there gets to bethis whole, like you said,
(17:30):
confusion surrounding love andsuccess and how they achieve
their parents Love by achievingsuccess versus just being a kid
and getting the love becausethey're a kid. So, yeah, I tend
to, I tend to recommend to myfamilies that they they stay
(17:50):
step away from coaching and leadthe coaching to the experts like
you, for sure. That's in thebest interest of these student
athletes. And then the otherthing too. I mean, you know, you
touched upon this, but burnoutis a real thing, and when, when
we're coaching these kids atsuch a young age, by the time
they get to be in high school orcollege, sometimes they're just
(18:13):
over it. You know, whether theystart their sport too early,
whether they specialize in thesport too early, whether they
are ready to be involved inother things that they had to
sacrifice for years because theywere putting all of their energy
into their sport, and whateverit is there is such a risk of
(18:36):
your child just giving up theirsport prematurely, if, if we
coach them, and if we place toomuch pressure on them. So I
think that's really importantfor families to remember.
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