December 1, 2023 • 25 mins
I think you'll enjoy this one. I get pretty vulnerable about what's going on in my life and ask for your feedback on how you'd like to see this podcast evolve and grow.
We talk about navigating life transitions, dealing with love addiction, and exploring self-image issues after breast cancer reconstruction - all while juggling a demanding job and trying to be an author/entrepreneur.
In the midst of my third divorce, a recent move, Medicare open enrollment and financial challenges, I'm learning to understand and embrace the hurdles that life throws.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome back to Piece of Work, the podcast.
I'm Danielle Tanton and today Ijust wanted to chat about a
bunch of things.
It's just me, which is a littleunusual.
It's kind of hard to just talkto yourself, but I have a lot
going on in my life and I wantedto share it with you.
It's been a while since I'verecorded.
(00:30):
I have been a little busy,first of all, with my job as a
labor and delivery nurse andsecond with my business as a
Medicare agent.
As some of you may know, it's aMedicare open enrollment annual
enrollment period right now.
So that's been busy just takingcare of my existing clients.
(00:51):
And I'm also going through adivorce and that's been
interesting and interesting.
We'll just leave it at that.
So I moved into a new home andjust kind of in a stage of
(01:11):
transition right now andnavigating a whole bunch of
stuff, and so it's recently cometo my attention that this is my
third divorce, which is astrange thing that I'm not
necessarily proud of.
I mean, I'm not necessarilyashamed of it either, but I
(01:33):
never saw myself as someone whowould be married three times and
I certainly never saw myself asbeing divorced three times.
It's not excuse me, I mighttake a sip of water.
It's not what we set out forwhen we decide to get married,
whether it's once or even thethird time.
You know we have our highesthopes and dreams and you know we
(01:58):
imagine what life will be likeand we don't imagine that 10
years later we'll be gettinginto wars.
But you know it is what it isand the reasons for that choice
are complicated and notnecessarily anything that I want
to go into here.
But I've been really doing alot of contemplating and just
kind of sitting with it andthinking about my life and where
(02:25):
I'm at over these.
You know, what I've realized isthat it's actually been it's
basically three decades of mylife where I've been facing
divorce.
My first marriage was veryshort, but I got divorced right
at the end of my 20s.
And then my second marriage waslonger, about nine years, but
(02:47):
by the time it was done I was atthe end of my 30s.
And now again, you know, nineyear marriage and now again I'm
at the end of my 40s.
And so facing this reality andjust this life change at the end
of each of those decades of mylife is a very interesting thing
(03:08):
.
You know, I'm a differentperson and yet I'm the same
person.
So some things I'm way moremature about, way more grounded,
more stable, smarter, and thenat the same time it's like I'm
(03:28):
still that same little girl,that same, the same struggles.
You know I wrote a whole bookabout faith and overcoming love
addiction and learning to justlove myself.
And you, just like any otheraddiction, like a substance
addiction I've talked about thisin other episodes.
(03:49):
You know I've interviewedpeople that have had interviewed
people that have had addictionto alcohol or other substances
and you know, with those,typically if you do a 12 step
program you're, for most peoplethey never have a drop of
alcohol again and that's justwhat they need to do to be
healthy.
(04:10):
Some people are able toovercome their addiction and
still maybe drink socially orthey think they are, but for the
most part, in order to recoverfrom an addiction you have to
have complete abstinence fromthe substance.
So when you're addicted to loveor that's really not love, it's
(04:36):
more like the attention and theattraction and the excitement
of lust or whatever it is, but Icall it love addiction, for
lack of a better word.
So when you have been addictedto that, that thrill and that
non-substance substance.
It's a little bit harder totruly ever be over it because
(05:01):
you can go years and know, okay,I need to not let that happen,
I need to put these boundariesup.
And then you find yourselfsingle and it's very easy to get
pulled back into that becauseit does feel really good when
someone tells you you'rebeautiful, when someone calls
you gorgeous, when someone saysyou have a hot body and you're
(05:23):
49, and you don't even havenipples We'll get back to that
in a second.
But it is addicting and I'vehad some conversations with
friends who are either goingthrough a divorce or have gone
through it, and guys and girlsand actually a lot of guys who
have felt that thrill of thechase.
(05:45):
So I've had to really examinemyself and go, hey, is this
healthy?
Are you, you know, be careful.
And yet it's also really fun.
So it's a very hard balancebecause you're there's no
(06:07):
clear-cut boundaries.
It's not like I can just avoidgoing to the bar and avoid ever
taking a sip of alcohol, becauseI'm in relationship with people
in all kinds of differentsettings and it's just a
constant work in progress.
So that's been interesting,just to kind of remark about
that, and then also so I touchedon the nipples piece.
(06:29):
That's interesting too.
I went through breast cancerabout four years ago and I did
reconstruction with implants andI've talked a lot about that on
this podcast.
I interviewed my breast surgeon, my plastic surgeon, who did
the reconstruction a coupleepisodes ago and I'm very okay
(06:54):
and comfortable talking aboutthat.
I did do a reconstruction but Inever finished it.
So I have implants but I choseto have my nipples removed as
part of the mastectomy.
So I like to joke that my boobsare like Barbie boobs.
(07:14):
They're not quite as perfect asBarbie boobs because there's
some scars and stuff, butthey're basically just the shape
of breasts, but they don'treally look complete because
they don't have nipples.
It was something that I alwaysthought I would do.
Even my surgeon said thatthere's been studies done that
(07:39):
have proved that women reallyshould the nipples really
complete the picture.
It's an important part offeeling like you're complete as
a woman.
So I didn't really necessarilycare about it.
Part of it was the timing.
(08:00):
I went through breast cancerright before COVID.
I was in the middle of nursingschool.
I was married with three kids.
Frankly, I just was happy thatthey look good in clothing.
I considered even doing afloral, beautiful chest piece
(08:21):
instead of nipples, because Iwas like, who needs fake nipples
?
They don't do anything, theycan't breastfeed anybody, they
can't even really feel anything,so what's the point of them?
I've waited, un-purpose andjust because I was busy and just
(08:41):
didn't.
Four years just flew by.
Here I am now I'm like, okay,now I'm single.
I don't know if these Barbieboobs are really okay.
Then I'm like, okay, well, whoam I doing this for?
Ultimately, I did deciderecently that I want to do it
for me.
I want to have that completelook.
(09:06):
I've been working a lot on mybody and just being in shape and
working out a lot.
Even if no one sees them, I seethem.
So, yes, there's a couple ofdifferent options you can do.
You can do surgical, you can dojust 3D tattoos.
That's what I'm doing.
(09:26):
I'm working with my insuranceto get it covered because it is
considered part of thereconstruction process.
But anyway, all of that, I wentoff on that tangent.
But the reality of like, oh mygosh, if I go on a date, when do
I tell a guy that I don't havenipples?
Is that something you mentionedon a first date, if anyone who
(09:51):
knows me can guess what myanswer was.
You pretty much blab it outright away, get it all on the
table right away.
That has had interestingresults but honestly, this is
still very new.
Our divorce is not even final.
I've gone on a couple dates andI've pretty quickly realized
(10:15):
that I'm not really ready tofully date.
I was only active on one of thedating sites for about 24 hours
.
I've met a couple people, butit's really just been a funny
and fun experience.
So I'm thinking about differentways to rebrand or refocus this
(10:38):
podcast and I'd love yourfeedback.
If you're listening, I have acouple of different ideas and
different directions I might goRight now.
It's pretty broad.
You know, piece of work.
We're all a piece of work, awork in progress and a work of
art, and I started this podcastlast October, kind of to go hand
in hand with my book.
I figured it would cover manyof the themes that I explore in
(11:02):
my book, such as faith, love,divorce, breast cancer,
addiction or really anything,because the book obviously was a
memoir.
It's a story from my life.
(11:23):
I always like to clarify that amemoir is not an autobiography.
It's different.
An autobiography is a story ofsomeone's life and usually it's
someone famous who regularpeople would actually care about
.
When you write or read a memoir, it's a story from someone's
life and that person doesn'tnecessarily have to be famous or
(11:45):
doesn't necessarily have toeven have done anything super
special.
What makes it interesting forother people to read is kind of
the journey and the story andthe universal, like the specific
that is also universal.
So that's why I love readingmemoir and writing memoir.
(12:06):
I think that we can learn a lotfrom each other's stories and
lessons that we've learned inour lives and I definitely had
some interesting stuff that I'vegone through.
So, yeah, I think that it canhave a universal appeal, even
(12:27):
though it's a very specificstory about someone's life and a
very personal story aboutsomeone's life.
So, anyway, I've interviewedother authors, I've talked about
real estate, I've talked aboutMedicare, all these different
things on this podcast and I'vealways felt like it was probably
a little bit too broad and itreally didn't have.
(12:49):
One of the reasons why I'vebeen so inconsistent with even
recording is because I'm like,what's the point?
Who's even listening?
Who am I speaking to?
What is the purpose of thispodcast?
Am I educating?
Am I informing?
Am I entertaining?
Where am I going with it, andit's been a little unclear as
(13:12):
I've been a little unclear, soI'm working on finding more of a
focus and I have a couple ideas.
So, like I said, I'd love yourfeedback.
One idea is to really hone in onbreast cancer.
So many women face breastcancer specifically, I mean all
(13:33):
kinds of cancer, butspecifically breast cancer, and
there are so many differenttopics and ideas and things we
could talk about around breastcancer.
I've several of my episodeshave been focused on breast
cancer and those seem to be theepisodes that resonate with
people and provide the greatestimpact to people and actually
(13:55):
like connect.
I mean I've had people connectto my surgeon because of my
podcast.
I've had people just reach outwanting to talk, wanting to
resources, wanting advice.
So there's so much I can dowith that.
At the same time, there'sprobably already a lot of stuff
(14:16):
about that and I don't know ifthat's what I wanna focus on and
to what end.
What am I offering?
So that's one idea breastcancer.
Another idea is this it's loveand marriage and divorce.
Again, I'd want to be morespecific.
(14:40):
I was just chatting with afriend and he said what about?
That's very interesting, thatdecades thing.
Now you're approaching 50 andgoing through a divorce and
facing being single in your 50s.
It's very different than inyour 40s or in your 30s or in
your 20s.
(15:00):
Maybe you could talk about that.
Maybe you could talk about justthis year I'm 49.
So I have one more year in my40s is like maybe you could talk
about turning 50, about thisapproaching your fifth decade.
So that's an idea.
(15:20):
Then I threw out the titleDating Without Nipples and the
two guys that were around justloved it.
I'm like well, I don't know ifthat's exactly the effect or the
audience that I want to attract, so I would love your feedback
on what you'd like to see.
(15:41):
I only have a handful oflisteners at this point, but I'd
love to know what you thinkwould be interesting and where
you would like to see this thinggo.
What else?
Yeah, dating's crazy.
So I had a job interviewyesterday.
Again, if you've been listeningto this podcast for a while, you
(16:02):
know that I'm always doing lotsof things on the career front
as well.
I'm still working full-time asa labor and delivery nurse.
I love that so much.
There's things I hate about it.
I'll be honest I do not likeworking night shift, even though
it affords me more time duringthe day to be with my kids and
(16:25):
accomplish other things.
I'm really a morning person, nomatter what I try to do, and I
have a lot of trouble sleepingduring the day when it's
beautiful outside and I want tobe out doing things.
But I do love that job.
I'm not quitting my job anytimesoon.
I'm also still taking classesthrough GCU because I'm
(16:49):
finishing up the second part ofmy degree.
The job interview was to be apart-time PRN hospice nurse.
One of the interview questionswas okay, so you're a labor and
delivery nurse.
Do you literally help peoplebring forth life?
What experience do you havewith death?
(17:11):
Do you really feel comfortablewith dying and that other end of
the spectrum?
I said yeah, I actually do.
It's like a strange love ofthat.
I think that would be reallybeautiful to be at the same time
a labor and delivery nurse anda hospice nurse.
(17:32):
I actually have had severalexperiences where I'm with
someone at the end of their lifeand it's almost like just as
beautiful as the birth.
It's really a special thing.
So to be able to be animportant part of that, I think,
would be pretty cool.
(17:52):
So it's still in the works.
We'll see if it happens, butI'm really excited about that in
a strange way.
Another thing I always like topoint out is that, as much as
everyone thinks of labor anddelivery as the happy place in
the hospital and for the mostpart it is when a death occurs
(18:17):
in labor and delivery it isdevastating.
Here you are I'm speakingspecifically about a baby who
doesn't make it.
This is supposed to be thehappiest day of your life, and
when you have a baby who dies inutero or shortly after birth,
(18:38):
it's very, very sad.
There is a surprising amount ofthat.
I mean, it happens.
It's a big part of our job.
In fact, we have a perinatalbereavement team and I'm part of
that team.
So I actually again, Istrangely love those days when I
get called to do that, because,as much as I love being a happy
(18:59):
cheerleader and seeing thatbaby born and take its first
breath, I also really love beingthere to comfort people in
their darkest moments.
I love being able to just bethere with them and help them
through it.
So, anyway, so we talked aboutthat, so I don't I'm afraid, I
(19:23):
guess, of making the podcast tooniche, too specific about one
thing, because there are so manydifferent things that I love
talking about and I loveinterviewing people about, and
so I don't know.
As I'm talking here, I'mconvincing myself that maybe I
don't want to change anything,maybe I want to keep being all
(19:44):
of the things because that's whoI am and how I am.
But we'll see, because I don'twant to just keep rambling along
.
I'd like to have a purpose withthis.
I'd like it to do some good,because it doesn't do that much
good if I only have a handful ofpeople listening, and in order
(20:06):
to gain a greater audience, Ithink that I do have to hone in
on something.
So I'd be curious again, whatresonates with you personally.
You can reach me by email,danielle, at danielltantonecom.
You can go to my website,danielltantonecom.
I'm on all the social mediassocial medias as at Danielle
(20:32):
Tantone, so on Instagram, onFacebook and even on TikTok, but
haven't recorded a video in along time.
What else that is about it?
I would love it if you wouldread my book.
(20:54):
It's available on ebook, it'savailable in paperback, it's
available in audiobook, onAudible even.
You can even use your freecredit, and it's read by yours
truly.
It's called Piece of Work, aMemoir.
We are all a piece of work, awork in progress and a work of
art, and I think people havebeen surprised by what's in the
(21:14):
book.
I think that's another thingthat I probably need to do a
better job of marketing andbranding it.
People don't know really what toexpect when they see the cover.
The cover has a picture of it.
I don't have a picture of ittoday, I usually have it with me
but the cover has a picture ofme in this pink sports bra with
(21:37):
black paint splattered againstit.
That represents the canceragainst the pink.
So it represents the breastcancer.
So they think, ok, is it aboutbreast cancer?
Like what is this book about?
And it is a little bit aboutall the things that I've just
talked about.
It's about breast cancer.
It's about my life leading upto the breast cancer diagnosis
(21:59):
and then facing it with hope andjoy.
But it has other themes thatpeople have been really
surprised by.
A lot of people who are notnecessarily religious have
really enjoyed watchingfollowing me along on my
religious journey from a veryliberal thinking Jewish girl to
(22:25):
a more conservative Christianwoman and then back somewhere to
something in between.
They've enjoyed that part of it.
A lot of people have enjoyedwatching the relationship part
and the addiction struggle andhow I overcame that.
(22:45):
And then, of course, people dosee value in watching how I
faced breast cancer, became anurse during a pandemic and just
kind of embraced all thechanges that came in my life.
So I think that it's a goodstory, if I may say so myself,
(23:06):
and it can feel narcissistic towrite a story about your life
and even to sit here and talk toyourself on a podcast, but
that's actually something I'dlike to explore in the future
too, because, yeah, it's veryinteresting.
(23:27):
But so, anyway, my focus is notall about me.
It's about just like, kind ofthe struggles and joys that make
us human.
And I love when someone elsereads my story or listens to my
podcast and finds value in itand finds healing in it and
(23:49):
feels seen and feels understood.
That's pretty awesome to me.
So I'm working on writing acouple of other things in my
spare time Working, probably, ona second memoir.
I'm working on a novel my firstnovel and again working as kind
(24:10):
of a loose term in this case,because my time is absolutely
packed right now, but I wouldlike to become more of a
prolific author and have manybooks out there for you guys to
read.
I want to put that out in theworld.
It's important to me whether Ihave one reader or millions of
(24:34):
readers.
I do hope it would be themillions I mean.
It'd be nice to actually makemoney from my books and podcasts
someday, but in the meantime Ithink that's about all I have
for you.
It's nice to be here.
I do enjoy this.
I think I enjoyed a lot morewhen I'm bantering with someone
else.
It's harder to make it valuableto others.
(25:02):
When it's just me talking, it'shard to think of what to say.
So hopefully you've found valuein what I've said today and I
hope you have a wonderful day.
However, we're all a piece ofwork, a work in progress and a
work of art all at the same time.
We're all pieces of the master.
Welcome back to Piece of Work, the podcast.
I'm Danielle Tanton and today Ijust wanted to chat about a
bunch of things.
It's just me, which is a littleunusual.
It's kind of hard to just talkto yourself, but I have a lot
going on in my life and I wantedto share it with you.
It's been a while since I'verecorded.
(00:30):
I have been a little busy,first of all, with my job as a
labor and delivery nurse andsecond with my business as a
Medicare agent.
As some of you may know, it's aMedicare open enrollment annual
enrollment period right now.
So that's been busy just takingcare of my existing clients.
(00:51):
And I'm also going through adivorce and that's been
interesting and interesting.
We'll just leave it at that.
So I moved into a new home andjust kind of in a stage of
(01:11):
transition right now andnavigating a whole bunch of
stuff, and so it's recently cometo my attention that this is my
third divorce, which is astrange thing that I'm not
necessarily proud of.
I mean, I'm not necessarilyashamed of it either, but I
(01:33):
never saw myself as someone whowould be married three times and
I certainly never saw myself asbeing divorced three times.
It's not excuse me, I mighttake a sip of water.
It's not what we set out forwhen we decide to get married,
whether it's once or even thethird time.
You know we have our highesthopes and dreams and you know we
(01:58):
imagine what life will be likeand we don't imagine that 10
years later we'll be gettinginto wars.
But you know it is what it isand the reasons for that choice
are complicated and notnecessarily anything that I want
to go into here.
But I've been really doing alot of contemplating and just
kind of sitting with it andthinking about my life and where
(02:25):
I'm at over these.
You know, what I've realized isthat it's actually been it's
basically three decades of mylife where I've been facing
divorce.
My first marriage was veryshort, but I got divorced right
at the end of my 20s.
And then my second marriage waslonger, about nine years, but
(02:47):
by the time it was done I was atthe end of my 30s.
And now again, you know, nineyear marriage and now again I'm
at the end of my 40s.
And so facing this reality andjust this life change at the end
of each of those decades of mylife is a very interesting thing
(03:08):
.
You know, I'm a differentperson and yet I'm the same
person.
So some things I'm way moremature about, way more grounded,
more stable, smarter, and thenat the same time it's like I'm
(03:28):
still that same little girl,that same, the same struggles.
You know I wrote a whole bookabout faith and overcoming love
addiction and learning to justlove myself.
And you, just like any otheraddiction, like a substance
addiction I've talked about thisin other episodes.
(03:49):
You know I've interviewedpeople that have had interviewed
people that have had addictionto alcohol or other substances
and you know, with those,typically if you do a 12 step
program you're, for most peoplethey never have a drop of
alcohol again and that's justwhat they need to do to be
healthy.
(04:10):
Some people are able toovercome their addiction and
still maybe drink socially orthey think they are, but for the
most part, in order to recoverfrom an addiction you have to
have complete abstinence fromthe substance.
So when you're addicted to loveor that's really not love, it's
(04:36):
more like the attention and theattraction and the excitement
of lust or whatever it is, but Icall it love addiction, for
lack of a better word.
So when you have been addictedto that, that thrill and that
non-substance substance.
It's a little bit harder totruly ever be over it because
(05:01):
you can go years and know, okay,I need to not let that happen,
I need to put these boundariesup.
And then you find yourselfsingle and it's very easy to get
pulled back into that becauseit does feel really good when
someone tells you you'rebeautiful, when someone calls
you gorgeous, when someone saysyou have a hot body and you're
(05:23):
49, and you don't even havenipples We'll get back to that
in a second.
But it is addicting and I'vehad some conversations with
friends who are either goingthrough a divorce or have gone
through it, and guys and girlsand actually a lot of guys who
have felt that thrill of thechase.
(05:45):
So I've had to really examinemyself and go, hey, is this
healthy?
Are you, you know, be careful.
And yet it's also really fun.
So it's a very hard balancebecause you're there's no
(06:07):
clear-cut boundaries.
It's not like I can just avoidgoing to the bar and avoid ever
taking a sip of alcohol, becauseI'm in relationship with people
in all kinds of differentsettings and it's just a
constant work in progress.
So that's been interesting,just to kind of remark about
that, and then also so I touchedon the nipples piece.
(06:29):
That's interesting too.
I went through breast cancerabout four years ago and I did
reconstruction with implants andI've talked a lot about that on
this podcast.
I interviewed my breast surgeon, my plastic surgeon, who did
the reconstruction a coupleepisodes ago and I'm very okay
(06:54):
and comfortable talking aboutthat.
I did do a reconstruction but Inever finished it.
So I have implants but I choseto have my nipples removed as
part of the mastectomy.
So I like to joke that my boobsare like Barbie boobs.
(07:14):
They're not quite as perfect asBarbie boobs because there's
some scars and stuff, butthey're basically just the shape
of breasts, but they don'treally look complete because
they don't have nipples.
It was something that I alwaysthought I would do.
Even my surgeon said thatthere's been studies done that
(07:39):
have proved that women reallyshould the nipples really
complete the picture.
It's an important part offeeling like you're complete as
a woman.
So I didn't really necessarilycare about it.
Part of it was the timing.
(08:00):
I went through breast cancerright before COVID.
I was in the middle of nursingschool.
I was married with three kids.
Frankly, I just was happy thatthey look good in clothing.
I considered even doing afloral, beautiful chest piece
(08:21):
instead of nipples, because Iwas like, who needs fake nipples
?
They don't do anything, theycan't breastfeed anybody, they
can't even really feel anything,so what's the point of them?
I've waited, un-purpose andjust because I was busy and just
(08:41):
didn't.
Four years just flew by.
Here I am now I'm like, okay,now I'm single.
I don't know if these Barbieboobs are really okay.
Then I'm like, okay, well, whoam I doing this for?
Ultimately, I did deciderecently that I want to do it
for me.
I want to have that completelook.
(09:06):
I've been working a lot on mybody and just being in shape and
working out a lot.
Even if no one sees them, I seethem.
So, yes, there's a couple ofdifferent options you can do.
You can do surgical, you can dojust 3D tattoos.
That's what I'm doing.
(09:26):
I'm working with my insuranceto get it covered because it is
considered part of thereconstruction process.
But anyway, all of that, I wentoff on that tangent.
But the reality of like, oh mygosh, if I go on a date, when do
I tell a guy that I don't havenipples?
Is that something you mentionedon a first date, if anyone who
(09:51):
knows me can guess what myanswer was.
You pretty much blab it outright away, get it all on the
table right away.
That has had interestingresults but honestly, this is
still very new.
Our divorce is not even final.
I've gone on a couple dates andI've pretty quickly realized
(10:15):
that I'm not really ready tofully date.
I was only active on one of thedating sites for about 24 hours
.
I've met a couple people, butit's really just been a funny
and fun experience.
So I'm thinking about differentways to rebrand or refocus this
(10:38):
podcast and I'd love yourfeedback.
If you're listening, I have acouple of different ideas and
different directions I might goRight now.
It's pretty broad.
You know, piece of work.
We're all a piece of work, awork in progress and a work of
art, and I started this podcastlast October, kind of to go hand
in hand with my book.
I figured it would cover manyof the themes that I explore in
(11:02):
my book, such as faith, love,divorce, breast cancer,
addiction or really anything,because the book obviously was a
memoir.
It's a story from my life.
(11:23):
I always like to clarify that amemoir is not an autobiography.
It's different.
An autobiography is a story ofsomeone's life and usually it's
someone famous who regularpeople would actually care about
.
When you write or read a memoir, it's a story from someone's
life and that person doesn'tnecessarily have to be famous or
(11:45):
doesn't necessarily have toeven have done anything super
special.
What makes it interesting forother people to read is kind of
the journey and the story andthe universal, like the specific
that is also universal.
So that's why I love readingmemoir and writing memoir.
(12:06):
I think that we can learn a lotfrom each other's stories and
lessons that we've learned inour lives and I definitely had
some interesting stuff that I'vegone through.
So, yeah, I think that it canhave a universal appeal, even
(12:27):
though it's a very specificstory about someone's life and a
very personal story aboutsomeone's life.
So, anyway, I've interviewedother authors, I've talked about
real estate, I've talked aboutMedicare, all these different
things on this podcast and I'vealways felt like it was probably
a little bit too broad and itreally didn't have.
(12:49):
One of the reasons why I'vebeen so inconsistent with even
recording is because I'm like,what's the point?
Who's even listening?
Who am I speaking to?
What is the purpose of thispodcast?
Am I educating?
Am I informing?
Am I entertaining?
Where am I going with it, andit's been a little unclear as
(13:12):
I've been a little unclear, soI'm working on finding more of a
focus and I have a couple ideas.
So, like I said, I'd love yourfeedback.
One idea is to really hone in onbreast cancer.
So many women face breastcancer specifically, I mean all
(13:33):
kinds of cancer, butspecifically breast cancer, and
there are so many differenttopics and ideas and things we
could talk about around breastcancer.
I've several of my episodeshave been focused on breast
cancer and those seem to be theepisodes that resonate with
people and provide the greatestimpact to people and actually
(13:55):
like connect.
I mean I've had people connectto my surgeon because of my
podcast.
I've had people just reach outwanting to talk, wanting to
resources, wanting advice.
So there's so much I can dowith that.
At the same time, there'sprobably already a lot of stuff
(14:16):
about that and I don't know ifthat's what I wanna focus on and
to what end.
What am I offering?
So that's one idea breastcancer.
Another idea is this it's loveand marriage and divorce.
Again, I'd want to be morespecific.
(14:40):
I was just chatting with afriend and he said what about?
That's very interesting, thatdecades thing.
Now you're approaching 50 andgoing through a divorce and
facing being single in your 50s.
It's very different than inyour 40s or in your 30s or in
your 20s.
(15:00):
Maybe you could talk about that.
Maybe you could talk about justthis year I'm 49.
So I have one more year in my40s is like maybe you could talk
about turning 50, about thisapproaching your fifth decade.
So that's an idea.
(15:20):
Then I threw out the titleDating Without Nipples and the
two guys that were around justloved it.
I'm like well, I don't know ifthat's exactly the effect or the
audience that I want to attract, so I would love your feedback
on what you'd like to see.
(15:41):
I only have a handful oflisteners at this point, but I'd
love to know what you thinkwould be interesting and where
you would like to see this thinggo.
What else?
Yeah, dating's crazy.
So I had a job interviewyesterday.
Again, if you've been listeningto this podcast for a while, you
(16:02):
know that I'm always doing lotsof things on the career front
as well.
I'm still working full-time asa labor and delivery nurse.
I love that so much.
There's things I hate about it.
I'll be honest I do not likeworking night shift, even though
it affords me more time duringthe day to be with my kids and
(16:25):
accomplish other things.
I'm really a morning person, nomatter what I try to do, and I
have a lot of trouble sleepingduring the day when it's
beautiful outside and I want tobe out doing things.
But I do love that job.
I'm not quitting my job anytimesoon.
I'm also still taking classesthrough GCU because I'm
(16:49):
finishing up the second part ofmy degree.
The job interview was to be apart-time PRN hospice nurse.
One of the interview questionswas okay, so you're a labor and
delivery nurse.
Do you literally help peoplebring forth life?
What experience do you havewith death?
(17:11):
Do you really feel comfortablewith dying and that other end of
the spectrum?
I said yeah, I actually do.
It's like a strange love ofthat.
I think that would be reallybeautiful to be at the same time
a labor and delivery nurse anda hospice nurse.
(17:32):
I actually have had severalexperiences where I'm with
someone at the end of their lifeand it's almost like just as
beautiful as the birth.
It's really a special thing.
So to be able to be animportant part of that, I think,
would be pretty cool.
(17:52):
So it's still in the works.
We'll see if it happens, butI'm really excited about that in
a strange way.
Another thing I always like topoint out is that, as much as
everyone thinks of labor anddelivery as the happy place in
the hospital and for the mostpart it is when a death occurs
(18:17):
in labor and delivery it isdevastating.
Here you are I'm speakingspecifically about a baby who
doesn't make it.
This is supposed to be thehappiest day of your life, and
when you have a baby who dies inutero or shortly after birth,
(18:38):
it's very, very sad.
There is a surprising amount ofthat.
I mean, it happens.
It's a big part of our job.
In fact, we have a perinatalbereavement team and I'm part of
that team.
So I actually again, Istrangely love those days when I
get called to do that, because,as much as I love being a happy
(18:59):
cheerleader and seeing thatbaby born and take its first
breath, I also really love beingthere to comfort people in
their darkest moments.
I love being able to just bethere with them and help them
through it.
So, anyway, so we talked aboutthat, so I don't I'm afraid, I
(19:23):
guess, of making the podcast tooniche, too specific about one
thing, because there are so manydifferent things that I love
talking about and I loveinterviewing people about, and
so I don't know.
As I'm talking here, I'mconvincing myself that maybe I
don't want to change anything,maybe I want to keep being all
(19:44):
of the things because that's whoI am and how I am.
But we'll see, because I don'twant to just keep rambling along
.
I'd like to have a purpose withthis.
I'd like it to do some good,because it doesn't do that much
good if I only have a handful ofpeople listening, and in order
(20:06):
to gain a greater audience, Ithink that I do have to hone in
on something.
So I'd be curious again, whatresonates with you personally.
You can reach me by email,danielle, at danielltantonecom.
You can go to my website,danielltantonecom.
I'm on all the social mediassocial medias as at Danielle
(20:32):
Tantone, so on Instagram, onFacebook and even on TikTok, but
haven't recorded a video in along time.
What else that is about it?
I would love it if you wouldread my book.
(20:54):
It's available on ebook, it'savailable in paperback, it's
available in audiobook, onAudible even.
You can even use your freecredit, and it's read by yours
truly.
It's called Piece of Work, aMemoir.
We are all a piece of work, awork in progress and a work of
art, and I think people havebeen surprised by what's in the
(21:14):
book.
I think that's another thingthat I probably need to do a
better job of marketing andbranding it.
People don't know really what toexpect when they see the cover.
The cover has a picture of it.
I don't have a picture of ittoday, I usually have it with me
but the cover has a picture ofme in this pink sports bra with
(21:37):
black paint splattered againstit.
That represents the canceragainst the pink.
So it represents the breastcancer.
So they think, ok, is it aboutbreast cancer?
Like what is this book about?
And it is a little bit aboutall the things that I've just
talked about.
It's about breast cancer.
It's about my life leading upto the breast cancer diagnosis
(21:59):
and then facing it with hope andjoy.
But it has other themes thatpeople have been really
surprised by.
A lot of people who are notnecessarily religious have
really enjoyed watchingfollowing me along on my
religious journey from a veryliberal thinking Jewish girl to
(22:25):
a more conservative Christianwoman and then back somewhere to
something in between.
They've enjoyed that part of it.
A lot of people have enjoyedwatching the relationship part
and the addiction struggle andhow I overcame that.
(22:45):
And then, of course, people dosee value in watching how I
faced breast cancer, became anurse during a pandemic and just
kind of embraced all thechanges that came in my life.
So I think that it's a goodstory, if I may say so myself,
(23:06):
and it can feel narcissistic towrite a story about your life
and even to sit here and talk toyourself on a podcast, but
that's actually something I'dlike to explore in the future
too, because, yeah, it's veryinteresting.
(23:27):
But so, anyway, my focus is notall about me.
It's about just like, kind ofthe struggles and joys that make
us human.
And I love when someone elsereads my story or listens to my
podcast and finds value in itand finds healing in it and
(23:49):
feels seen and feels understood.
That's pretty awesome to me.
So I'm working on writing acouple of other things in my
spare time Working, probably, ona second memoir.
I'm working on a novel my firstnovel and again working as kind
(24:10):
of a loose term in this case,because my time is absolutely
packed right now, but I wouldlike to become more of a
prolific author and have manybooks out there for you guys to
read.
I want to put that out in theworld.
It's important to me whether Ihave one reader or millions of
(24:34):
readers.
I do hope it would be themillions I mean.
It'd be nice to actually makemoney from my books and podcasts
someday, but in the meantime Ithink that's about all I have
for you.
It's nice to be here.
I do enjoy this.
I think I enjoyed a lot morewhen I'm bantering with someone
else.
It's harder to make it valuableto others.
(25:02):
When it's just me talking, it'shard to think of what to say.
So hopefully you've found valuein what I've said today and I
hope you have a wonderful day.
However, we're all a piece ofwork, a work in progress and a
work of art all at the same time.
We're all pieces of the master.
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