April 5, 2021 • 40 mins
Update: Staying Bothered launched nonprofit grants in 2021. We’re giving grants to Texas-based nonprofits focused on education, mental wellness, or gender equity. Applications for Q2 are open on the website at www.stayingbothered.com/grants
This episode was recorded on October 12, 2020.
Jamie C. Amelio is the founder and CEO of Caring for Cambodia (CFC), a non-profit, non-governmental charitable organization that has dramatically changed the lives of more than 77,000 Cambodian children.
She served on the board of directors of “Vistas for Children” in Los Angeles and founded “Junior Vistas for Children.” She serves on board CLASS (Community Leaders Advocating Student Success) and is a member of the “Leader for Life” committee for the Lake Travis School District in Austin, Texas.
Jamie is the author of three books: Graced With Orange, an inspiring look at how one woman set out against difficult odds to change the education of an entire population; Stumpy the Crocodile, a children’s book about helping neighbors in need; and Amazon Bestseller Staying Bothered, which further reflects on her TEDx Talk and her journey to keep making an impact.
Learn more at: https://www.stayingbothered.com
Buy Jamie's book: Staying Bothered
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Season 2 of the Pink Granite Podcast is generously sponsored by:
Davis Kaufman
Public Blueprint
Denise Rose
Amy Whited
Thank you for listening!
Guest: Jamie Amelio
Host: Clara Bradbury
Editing: Amy Whited
Music: "Only the Brave Run Wild" Sounds Like Sander
Voice Talent: Sarah Keats
Executive Producer: Amy Whited
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Clara Bradbury (00:00):
Hi, everybody.
I'm Clara Bradbury, and I am sothrilled to be hosting today's
episode of the pink granitepodcast. I have the pleasure of
chatting today with an amazingwoman who I've admired and been
inspired by for years. JamieAmelio, how are you doing today,
Jamie?
Jamie Amelio (00:18):
I'm terrific, Clara. Thank you. How are you
doing?
Clara Bradbury (00:21):
I'm doing great, too. Thanks. So before we get to
some of the questions I want toask you let me share with the
audience a little bit about you.
Not only are you a wife, a momof six kids, two of whom were
adopted from Cambodia, and agrandmother. But you have
essentially taken on thechallenge of caring for an
entire nation's children byfounding the groundbreaking NGO
(00:42):
Caring for Cambodia. And morerecently, you also founded a
really cool organization calledStaying Bothered, which is a
grassroots endeavor to inspirepeople to find a cause they're
passionate about, commit to it,and persevere to see positive
change. In addition to being achange maker, founder and CEO,
you're a TEDx and publicspeaker, and an author. I'm a
(01:04):
little exhausted, justdescribing the things you've
done.
Jamie Amelio (01:11):
Well, later on, I'll talk about how it's
important not to expectperfection, you may have listed
all those things, but doing themand getting where I am today is
definitely been a journey ofcelebrating small successes.
Clara Bradbury (01:24):
Awesome. So I mentioned you're an author, and
you do have a new book outcalled Staying Bothered. So I
wanted for you to tell us alittle bit about that new book.
Jamie Amelio (01:34):
Well, I wrote the book stain bother to share what
I've learned about theimportance of finding a personal
cause, and actually sticking toit. We all have things that
bother us every day, but I'mtalking about small things that
we can do big things about,sometimes we often get kind of
in the mix of I can't doanything because everything
(01:56):
looks to be so big. Um, and aswe move forward, I think staying
bothered is something thatpeople will resonate with.
Because, again, it's not alwaysa little things, but it can be
it's the big things that makereal change in life. So if we
start with that, and in my book,I kind of explain exactly how
(02:18):
you can get started on thatstaying bothered, hard part
getting bothered about somethingeasy, and I'm not talking about
spilled coffee, or traffic.
It's, it's something that'sreally, really worthy of holding
on to,
Clara Bradbury (02:33):
You know, it's so true hearing you say, you
know, it's easy to becomebothered, you know, we all hear
things on the news or see thingsthat bother us. But it's taking
that next step that can be hard.
So I want you to tell us alittle bit about your first
bother.
Jamie Amelio (02:54):
My first bother happened years ago, when I lived
in Singapore, my family and Imoved there in 2000, about 2000.
And a few years later, I decidedto go on a vacation to Cambodia.
It was then that I was touringthe incredible temples they're
just amazing that a little girlcame up to me and asked me for
(03:18):
$1 she asked me, really for $1for more than hope. I just I
asked her what it was for. Andshe said, I want that dollar to
go to school I have to pay to goto school. And it was then that
I realized something more washappening then on this vacation
than I could have anticipated. Itold her if I could see her
(03:40):
school that I would give herthat dollar. And that afternoon,
she showed me her school. Iwalked into a classroom that was
dirt floors, broken desks, kidspiled on top of benches together
that were to be their desks. Itjust broke my heart. And it was
something in that moment that Irealized, I could never walk
(04:03):
away from I couldn't get my headaround the fact that my kids
went to an incredible schoolthey had everything they can
possibly want or need. And herejust a couple hours away from
where I was living was asituation that was absolutely
appalling to me. So I went backto Singapore, and I gathered my
friends together. And I saidplease, folks, let's do
(04:26):
something about this. And we didand instead of going back and
just getting back into myregular life of the PTA mom
working out, again, vacationing,you know, we started Caring for
Cambodia. And that was 21schools ago, we now educate over
6800 kids a year.
Clara Bradbury (04:46):
You know, I've been working with you for
probably, I don't know, eight ornine years now and I've heard
that story before and stillevery time I get goosebumps
thinking about it and thinkingabout what a big difference one
person can make. And you'reright. Sometimes you have to
start out small, you can't, ifyou had decided back then oh,
(05:07):
I'm gonna build 21 schools and7000 kids a year, it probably
wouldn't have happened. But itwas like you started out small
and you didn't get overwhelmed,and you build up that way. And I
think that probably happens to alot of us, I know, I sometimes
get overwhelmed with the idea oftrying to change something. And
(05:32):
that can prevent me from evengetting started in the first
place. I know also, I sometimeshave trouble narrowing down, I
see things all the time that I'mbothered about, you know, we see
things on the news, we seethings in our neighborhood. And
for somebody who's trying tofind that bother, I mean, what
advice would you have? How doessomebody find that bother? What
(05:55):
steps can a person take to findher bother?
Jamie Amelio (05:58):
That's interesting, Clara, because I
hear so often, particularly withcaring for Cambodia, that I feel
like I never do enough. And Ijust want to see to everyone out
there $1, an hour, makes so muchof a difference when you really
commit to making change in theworld. And when in building
(06:20):
those schools, you're you'reabsolutely right, I never would
have thought in a million years,I there would be 21 schools I
could be talking about inCambodia. But what's what's so
fascinating every day that Iwork on this, are the volunteers
that make it happen are thepeople that find the passion and
do something about it. And Ithink often that's what I do
(06:43):
want to talk to people aboutwhen it comes to staying
bothered, find your passion,what gets to you in your heart,
what makes you want to dosomething, and then take small
steps to get there to dosomething. Surround yourself
with like minded people go lookfor other organizations that
might do the same thing thatyou're looking to do, you don't
(07:05):
always have to reinvent thewheel. So it's, it's something
that I think about all the time,I just want to put a big sign
out there. If everybody does onesmall thing today, something
really big could happentomorrow, you just never know.
We're in a world of beingbothered right now. So small
(07:25):
changes, maybe at one pointdidn't make as much of a
difference as they might now.
Clara Bradbury (07:32):
So true. The other thing when I was hearing
you talk about it is I've gotteninvolved over the years in
various organizations. And Ikind of have this sense of
guilt, because I have gotteninvolved, and then somehow it's
fallen by the wayside. I'vegotten busy with the kids with
my job with life. So thensometimes I'm a little reticent
(07:54):
to get involved for fear thatthat's going to happen again. So
what you know, do you have asfar as advice goes for people
when they're thinking, Okay, howam I going to stay motivated?
How am I going to staycommitted?
Jamie Amelio (08:07):
Clara Don't be afraid to get involved in more
than one thing. There's a lot ofthings that need to be done out
in this world. And I think thatis is something that I hear
often as well how to how do youkeep doing it, Jamie? How do you
how do you stay motivated? Howdo you not let things or
failures pull you down? How doyou how do you really keep
(08:29):
focused on doing what's right.
Well, number one, when you makea commitment to someone, or
something, it's about stickingwith it, I made a promise long
ago to those children inCambodia, that I would come
back. And I did come back. And Icame back with 1000s of
volunteers. And those volunteersmotivate me to keep going to
there's no way that caring forCambodia would be where we are
(08:52):
today, if it weren't for thecountless hours, dedication,
energy, kindness and money ofall those volunteers. So look
around you as people are doingother things. Hold on to that
let that inspire you to keepmoving and know that it's okay
if you're working with theAlzheimer's Association, and
you're also really interested inperhaps making sure your local
(09:15):
food bank is doing well you cando those two things. Another
tip, I would say and I talkedabout this in my book staying
bothered is write it down, putit on your calendar, make
yourself accountable. Put areminder up for 10 minutes a day
to go figure out how you canreally stick to what makes you
feel passionate about change.
Clara Bradbury (09:39):
Yeah, so important. And you know, you
mentioned a little bit ago, thatright now, there are so many
ways that we can get involvedand I want to turn to something
that's a big bother that we'reall feeling right now. And
that's COVID as COVID continuesto affect everyone's life in
varying degrees, how doessomeone take action during this
(10:00):
time and persevere to staybothered now and beyond, because
things are a little differentright now,
Jamie Amelio (10:06):
a little different would be an understatement.
You're absolutely right. Andlook what well, it may seem that
COVID makes staying botheredeven harder. I think in some
ways it might. But in otherways, it also opens our mind up
to really making change that wecan do from our own home. I
mean, look, there are so manyorganizations out there that are
(10:29):
struggling, that are really in abad place. And I see them shut
down, left and right, and itjust breaks my heart. But you as
a mom, a wife, a sister, and allof you now, females, teachers,
come on, you're on now we canall add that to our repertoire
of what we can get done. As amom, we're teachers, by golly.
(10:53):
But I think it's important tomake yourself really available
for other organizations and letthem know that you're willing to
help, you may not be able to goand volunteer in person right
now, which is really tough. Andthat that is one of the things I
talk about often is is going tovolunteer and feeling what it
really means to give back. Ioften wonder who gets more,
(11:16):
right of the recipient or theperson that's actually helping.
But in these tough times, it'simportant to reach out maybe do
a little more homework than younormally would. We'll get
through it. I think that even inthese tough times, the lessons
that will be learned that wewill look back on will be about
what we did when we werebothered. Yeah, really made a
(11:38):
difference.
Clara Bradbury (11:39):
And it's so true that when we have kind of our
eyes and ears open that thingspresent themselves, and that
there are still so many waysI've been so impressed by what
I've seen, and you know, on theneighborhood listserv, or at the
kids school, across the world ofpeople really wanting to be that
type of community whereeverybody's helping each other
(12:00):
out. And I think this isactually brought it out more.
Jamie Amelio (12:03):
I think you're right. And it's time for us to
really notice that. And I lovedearly on when we no one really
knew what to do. But there wasjust this theme of reach out to
your neighbor. We're doing that.
It's so important now, now morethan ever, because we've all
been cooped up for so long.
Clara Bradbury (12:20):
Yes. So true. So in staying bothered, you know,
your first bother presenteditself, it came to you,
Cambodia. But like youmentioned, sometimes you are
bothered and passionate aboutmore than one thing. So I'd love
it. If you could tell us aboutsomething you wrote about in the
book about a new bother thatpresented itself. And that's
(12:43):
focusing on the emotionalwellness of American teens. So
tell us a little about that.
Jamie Amelio (12:49):
I think what's going on with adolescents right
now is an absolute mental healthcrisis, no doubt about it. And
you're right and making change,you have to feel passionate
about it and make it personal.
Sometimes you look for thatpersonal and you're able to find
it. But other times, well, likeCambodia found me I would say I
did not go looking for Cambodia,that was a higher power that put
(13:12):
the two of us together to makechange. This particular bother
slapped me in the face, right inmy own home of having to deal
with my two sons out of my sixkids, I have two that have spent
some time in rehab and dealtwith anxiety and depression. And
I think, honestly, right now, ifour world doesn't take a
(13:33):
sidestep and take a look at ourteenagers and our young kids, to
help them to deal with theemotions they have, things are
not going to get better for themin the future. We've got to take
an enormous step forward andmaking change there. There's a
reason that suicide is thesecond leading causes of death
between kids 18 to 24. I mean,come on, we can do better. So
(13:58):
that is my new bother. I'm I'mdetermined to see what we can do
to help these school districtsto help parents get the tools in
their back pocket to be able totalk to kids in a different way
to get kids to know that it'sokay if you're not feeling okay.
But that's going to take a lotof discussion. I say staying
bothered is a grassrootsmovement. And I believe that as
(14:21):
time goes on, if we continue totalk about those things that are
really important, we can makechange. We can't let this
generation think for a secondthat suicide is actually an
option.
Clara Bradbury (14:36):
You know, it's so true. It's so heartbreaking
when I hear folks talk about itwhen I read the statistics, and
I do love the way now that thereis more of a focus on it. I
mean, it took us too long tofigure it out that it was a
crisis like you said, but youknow, last month was national
(14:57):
Mental Health Awareness Month.
We just Had world Mental HealthDay. You know, we're sort of
taking away that stigma aroundit. And it's a great first step,
but I feel like there's still somuch more new. You're so right,
I see it even in my youngerkids, they're already feeling
that stress. And it's going totake all of us to try to improve
that situation.
Jamie Amelio (15:20):
It really is that I'm glad that we're able to put
it out there. I love thatthere's Mental Health Awareness
Month, and I love that peoplenow are calling it mental
wellness. And I'll tell you, myexperience with my two boys
pushed me to a place in apersonal journey I had not had
it anticipated. And so oftenwith social media, and all
that's going on in the world,it's about what you look like,
(15:42):
are you getting the likes, areyou, oh, my gosh, that person
looks like they have everythingtogether? Well, and I don't want
to give too much away, becausehopefully, folks will go read
the book. But in my ownexperience, as a teenager, I was
really the precursor to this newbother, I just didn't know it at
the time. And once I reveal itin the book, it made me look at
(16:02):
who I am for real and be okaywith that. Because it's not
perfect. I'm not that great. Ido the best I can. And some
days, that's just good enough,it has to be. And you know, it's
about grit, just keeping, yougot to keep working and trying
and knowing that things aren'tgoing to feel good. That feeling
(16:23):
uncomfortable is a part of life,we can't save our kids from it.
And I think that's part of theproblem today is everybody wants
to keep their kids from feelingpain when that's a part of
growing up. But
Clara Bradbury (16:33):
so true. It's such a maternal instinct to just
not let them fail not let themfeel pain, when in fact, we're
doing them a disservice. But youknow what, Jamie, I think you
are great. So there's that.
Jamie Amelio (16:45):
Thanks, Clara.
Clara Bradbury (16:48):
So I'm not going to reveal either, of course, I
have read the book, and I'm notgoing to give away your secret
people are going to have to goread the book to find out. But I
will say that that part of yourpersonal story was very
compelling and eye opening tome. So now I want to talk a
little bit about stayingbothered the organization. So
you describe staying bothered asa global movement? What would
(17:11):
you like to see it become? Whatdo you envision it becoming its
growth.
Jamie Amelio (17:17):
So the mission for staying bothered is really
inspire and motivate people tonot only find that passion that
you're looking for, or islooking for you and then make
change with that. It's aboutsharing what's happening as that
as you're working in thosecircumstances. If you have if
you know of someone that'sperhaps started their own
(17:39):
organization, and we want toknow about it, I want you to
share it with me, this is aboutinspiring others around the
world. Same bothered stories,since we put our website up have
been so inspiring for me andothers, anyone who reads them,
you know, you can go to thewebsite, just plug in. I saw
this happen today and andinspired me and I'm staying
(18:01):
bothered about it. I think thatshould be a part of our world
today where we can look and seewhat inspires other people, how
they make change, and how theystay passionate about it. A lot
of people I've talked to are,they're kind of worried about
that finding the cause. If it'snot, it will come to you. If
(18:21):
it's not right in front of you.
Now, I think focusing on how youcan find things out as you move
forward in life is veryimportant. And staying bothered
helps you to do that you canconnect with others that are
making change.
Clara Bradbury (18:35):
So what I hear you saying is don't stress out
about it so much. Just go and dosomething.
Jamie Amelio (18:42):
Young people that want to change the world
overnight, that write me emails,or write me a note. And that's
when I do want to say don'tstress about it. It's there's a
difference between beingstressed and being passionate
about making change, because itwill happen,
Clara Bradbury (18:58):
It's a fine line.
Jamie Amelio (19:00):
it can be. And that's when you have to make
those decisions about stress.
You know, don't let it get you.
Not Not every little thing hasto be perfect.
Clara Bradbury (19:12):
That's a good reminder for everybody, for
sure. So you have obviouslyaccomplished a lot on your past.
Tell us kind of how you got tostaying bothered. What was your
career path? Who helped youalong the way? How did you get
to where you are.
Jamie Amelio (19:29):
I grew up in a military family. So I think that
early on, my father instilled inme the importance of respect,
responsibility, as I mentionedearlier, keeping your
commitments, and I started out Isay bc before children as in the
financial planning world, andthen I met my wonderful husband
(19:50):
and had all these kids and movedall over the place. And then as
I started putting Caring forCambodia together, I really had
to dig deep inside myself. Tofigure out how I was going to
stay motivated, my husband'sworking full time, this is an
area that I don't know muchabout education. So I surrounded
myself with teachers that knewwhat they were doing. I was not
(20:13):
shy about saying I want tolearn, can you help me? One
person that I really do look upto is Admiral William H. Raven.
That's a mouthful. I saw himdeliver a commencement speech at
the University of Texas goLonghorns by the way. His his
advice was, every day you getup, make your bed, just make
(20:36):
your bed, do something that youwill accomplish. And that is
really important that the waythat I look at my life is I try
and do one thing a day andfinish it, it could be as small
as cleaning off my desk, orcould be making my bed, I'm
going to admit, I don't make itevery day. But I try to I try
to. But the teachers, I lookback at the teachers through the
(20:59):
years that inspired me to keepmoving and not give up and the
teachers in Cambodia that haveabsolutely nothing. And they go
to work every day with a smileon their face. Because
education, they know is the mostimportant thing that we can do
for our children in the entireworld. But again, I think you
(21:20):
have to be okay with yourselfand knowing that you don't have
to do everything perfect. And Ididn't know that until I would
say probably five or six yearsago where I actually started
giving myself a break. And thenit changed the way that I
worked. And I wanted to workharder and smarter, not more and
be more stressed.
Clara Bradbury (21:40):
so fascinating.
When we actually give ourselvesa break how we end up
accomplishing more sometimes
Jamie Amelio (21:45):
it's true, it really is. That should be a
message for the day. Everybodyjust say all right, I'm giving
myself a break today, I'm gonnawalk away from something because
chances are, it's gonna be therewhen you come back.
Clara Bradbury (21:56):
Yep. And I'm gonna have to give a shout out
to teachers as well. I thinkwhether you're kids, or you are
learning virtually, whetheryou're in person, whether you're
in the US in Cambodia, theteachers are making it happen
right now. And I just want toput that out there. because like
you said, we've all beenteachers now. We know how it
goes.
Jamie Amelio (22:16):
To your point, I think many of us appreciate
those teachers even more havingto do what they had to do
practically overnight. Amazing.
Clara Bradbury (22:26):
Oh, yes. So tell us Do you have a mentor? Do you
mentor others? And how would youadvise a young woman interested
in a similar in a similar careerpath to yours or journey to
yours?
Jamie Amelio (22:41):
I do you love to mentor young young women in
particular. Because I think it'simportant for you to look up to
someone and see their not onlytheir accomplishments, but what
challenges they've had to gothrough along the way. And I
think that probably one of themost important pieces of advice
I can give these young folksstarting out. And I see it my
(23:02):
college aged kids, they startwith what they think they have
to do, I have to go I have to goto college for business. And
that's because let's face it,our school system, they're
getting asked what their majoris 10th grade, they don't know.
So one of the things I want toalways say to people is it's
okay to change your mind. Youdon't if you start out and you
want to be a banker, and thenyou decide you want to be an
(23:24):
interior designer, give yourselfpermission to say that's okay, I
think the best thing you can dois go find your passion. And
then Wow, if you can figure outhow to get paid for that you've
scored. And if that's not alwaysgoing to happen on your first
career path, I have a my 24 yearold says, Oh my God, this, this
(23:46):
job isn't what I thought it wasgoing to be. I really don't like
it. And I'll say honey, guesswhat, we all had jobs that we
didn't like, you're actuallysupposed to have jobs that you
don't like. So when you get thatgreat one that you just fall in
love with you appreciate it evenmore. But I think it's important
to look around and hang out withpeople that have the same values
that you do. And talk about whatyou're feeling as you as you're
(24:10):
going through your life withwhether it's business or college
or as a parent, we all knowparents that struggle with their
kids and sometimes more thanothers, particularly with the
what we just were talking aboutthe stress and anxiety and
depression.
Clara Bradbury (24:25):
sure, and it's such a good reminder. I know my
kids will say it I'll mentionsome job that I had, you know,
maybe in my 20s say, I didn'tknow you had that job. You know,
it's like I had a lot of jobs.
And it's so true if they werenot my dream jobs, but they gave
me a lot of experience. Theyhelped me become who I am today.
And that sense that they'relooking at us and they're
(24:47):
looking at older people on whatthey want to do. And that might
not happen right away, but it isall that path.
Jamie Amelio (24:57):
You'll learn a lot along the way. That's important.
As to know that you things donot happen overnight, I see our
younger generation wanting thatinstant success. But again,
you've got it. And when we talkabout being bothered things that
bother you, they happen everyday, staying bothered and
focused. That's the hard part.
That's where you have to slowdown, feel your passion, and
(25:20):
then keep moving forward.
Clara Bradbury (25:24):
Yep. And like you said, even if it's not your
dream job, look at all thethings you can still do to make
a difference. You know, whileyou're going on your path, it's
not that you're here at pointzero, and you need to get up to
100. And then you'll be able todo all of these things, the
entire journey is happening. Andthere are all these different
ways you can make a differencealong the way.
Jamie Amelio (25:46):
So true, small things.
Clara Bradbury (25:49):
Yes. So for someone who has given so much
and done so much for so manypeople, who do you lean on? Who
do you go to for life advice,career advice, you know, or when
you're having a tough day?
Jamie Amelio (26:03):
Well, I pray a lot, I will tell you that. And
there have been moments in mycareer where I've kind of said,
God, are you serious? Is thiswhat's supposed to be happening,
but and then I am reminded atthe fact that oftentimes, if we
give it up, then the answers orsolutions do come to us. I look,
I lean on my husband Bill a lotfor advice it particularly in
(26:27):
running an organization with itsglobal people are all over the
world, he's always been one thatI have looked up to, he's a
smart man, he makes decisions,just from the most logical right
place. And I often makedecisions from an emotional
place. So our leadership styleis quite different, but it works
together. So he's, he's alwaysbeen there for me whenever I
(26:48):
needed them. And, and I have alife coach, I have a therapist
that I've talked to for 20years, and I swear this woman
saved our marriage bill isItalian, I am Irish, we couldn't
be any more opposite of the waywe communicate. But it is
important to have someoneoutside of your inner circle
sometimes, or perhaps maybe Ishouldn't say it that way. Just
(27:10):
someone that you can sayanything to anything. And I have
that I have that with my lifecoach. And I would say, as a
woman, Mom, sister, friend, allthat my girl tribe is it, I can
call any one of them. It's asmall group of friends that know
me, some have known me since Iwas in second grade. So they
(27:32):
know the real deal. But it'simportant to have those kind of
relationships that you can beyourself talk about things that
are bothering you, and then moveon from it's it's really tough
some days to make decisionsbased on a country's education
system. And I do have to takethe pressure off of myself and
(27:52):
say, we really have done thebest we could with all that we
have. And the same with stayingbothered is staying bothered
about teen mental wellness.
Because that can be veryoverwhelming when you see what
the statistics look like. So Iagain, I pray a lot, I talked to
Bill, I have my life coach, Ihave my friends. And there are
people that inspire me likeMother Teresa, and Maya Angelo
(28:13):
and incredible folks like that.
Brene Brown. I mean, she'sterrific. So it's, it's
interesting to know that i ireally do count on that, as I do
the job that I do. Those peopleand those inspirational folks
(28:34):
are special.
Clara Bradbury (28:35):
Yeah, I'm right there with you with the girl
tribe. I also lean on my husbanda lot. Typically for more
practical, logical situations.
But yeah, when I need to reallyjust let loose talk to somebody
about how I'm feeling What'sgoing on? Yes, surround myself
with amazing women.
Jamie Amelio (28:57):
Yeah, I can't wait for my daughters to get old
enough to sit down and have aglass of wine with them. I have
one that is old enough to dothat. And we have done and what
an incredible relationship youhave with an older daughter. So
I'm still dealing with theyounger teen daughter, which is
that whole mental wellnessthing. We work on it regularly,
which is awesome.
Clara Bradbury (29:20):
So yeah, sometimes I feel like you just
need to close your eyes andleap.
Jamie Amelio (29:26):
You know, you do you do. I think one other thing
that's important to mention isthat I learned through this
process with my kids having beengone to treatment centers, how
tough that is on your family.
And I learned to parent muchdifferently. And one thing I
realized that I thought was soimportant that I don't know that
I noticed as much as I shouldhave earlier hindsight is always
(29:48):
2020. Right? But I want to bethat mom of my, my kids friends
that they could actually turn toit. Not the cool mom. It's a
it's about an outside voice. I,when I grew up, it was in my
church, or a favorite teacherthat I had. And it's just
different communities aredifferent these days, I don't
(30:10):
feel like we have that tightknit, or I didn't have an aunt
to turn to you. Maybe it's youraunt or cousin or uncle or, but
I think I want my daughter Averyto know. And her friends do know
I've had these frankconversations with them and
said, if you're ever feelinglike you want to take your own
life, and you don't have anyoneto talk to, you can call me. If
(30:30):
you're ever at that party, andyou've you've made a bad
decision. And you you're youdrink too much. You can't drive
home, you shouldn't drink, butI'm not the judge and jury here.
I would come get somebody beforethey put their life in danger.
So there's that fine line of No,I don't want to be the cool mom,
but I want to be the mom thatanybody can talk to. And if only
(30:51):
my kids had that, before theywent to their treatment centers
and had to deal with that. Ithink it would have helped them
go through what they wentthrough.
Clara Bradbury (31:04):
Yeah, it's so important.
Jamie Amelio (31:06):
You know?
Clara Bradbury (31:06):
Yeah, it totally I have several female friends
who don't have children, and I'mreally counting on them. They
know who they are.
Jamie Amelio (31:15):
And you should count on them. Say it out loud.
Make them say it out loud. Idon't turn my phone off at
night. Dang it one day, I will.
I don't know that's probably nottrue that I'm my grandson will
be calling me.
Clara Bradbury (31:28):
So you've been involved in so many different
things from education. You'vebeen involved, you know, with
the school board, policy, a lotof different things with
education and mental health.
Would you ever consider runningfor office yourself?
Jamie Amelio (31:48):
Well, I would say all laughing never. I bet I
would commit to I'll never saynever. I think it is it is
important that if we are goingto all say complain about things
that we also do something aboutit. And whether that's voting or
running for office, it'simperative. It's particularly
(32:11):
now I know everyone's talkingabout the presidential race and
all that's going on. But you canmake change in your own
hometown. You go vote for yourlocal school school board, go
vote for your localrepresentatives, take note of
what's happening in your ownback yard. I don't know what I
may do earlier. I mean, lateron. I've earlier in my career, I
(32:32):
did think about running forschool board, which is just I
mean, my caring for Cambodiacareer because I felt like I
needed to be really involvedwith the schools, and then with
mental wellness as well. But nowI think about the bigger picture
of what's really important forme, my family and moving
forward. I'll never say never,but I am going to vote. So
Clara Bradbury (32:52):
yes, yes, everybody. And there's
Jamie Amelio (32:55):
a lot to do in this world. There's definitely a
lot to do
Clara Bradbury (32:57):
so much. I saw an awesome el Arroyo sign I live
for the El Arroyo signs here inAustin.
Jamie Amelio (33:04):
You know what I'm talking about? So great.
Clara Bradbury (33:07):
Yes. But it said, raise your hand if you're
not going to vote. And then itsaid, Now slap yourself with it.
Jamie Amelio (33:17):
That is awesome.
And so el Arroyo, that's a greatjob I'd love to have I would
never be that creative, though.
My goodness. It must be a teamdoing that.
Clara Bradbury (33:25):
I agree. But it's so true. You mentioned you
know, there's so much happeningat every level, we get very
focused on those federal raceson the presidential race, but so
many decisions are being made atthe local level. And those are a
lot easier to get involved insometimes and where a lot of the
decisions are being made.
Jamie Amelio (33:43):
That's right.
That's right. And I I also thinkthat it's important to celebrate
small successes, I really dothink that that's super
important in our life in anyway. But for me with caring for
Cambodia, it was important tofind the small successes, like
the pencils that we got thereand the kids didn't have to
break and share them or wasstaying bothered that we are
wearing a T shirt that saysstaying bothered and somebody
(34:05):
asked me about it, and I'm ableto talk about it with them. What
does that mean? Here's what itmeans and then go do something.
And the same thing in our ownhometown is we reelect people
that are helping us to manageour everyday life. I think it's
important for us to not not beugly to others about those that
maybe didn't get elected. It'simportant that we celebrate some
small successes of being kindmaybe even if things didn't go
(34:27):
our way.
Clara Bradbury (34:30):
Yeah, so true, because a lot of people put
their hearts into helping maybea political campaign. And if
that person loses, then theyfeel like it's all been for
nothing but right it's not it'snot right. So if not political,
if you're not going to berunning for office, what's next
(34:50):
for you for staying bothered?
And then how can someone getinvolved if they would like to?
Jamie Amelio (34:57):
what's next? I Really, I'm excited to start
back up on my book tour becauseand here's my new bc before his
beat before children, but nowit's before COVID. So basically,
we were full on I was able toget out and talk to people all
over the country and even theworld about staying bothered and
why I felt like that was soimportant, and how it could help
(35:20):
others in their everyday lives.
I look forward to picking thatback up. I look forward to
speaking to organizations andschools around the world about
mental wellness and about caringfor Cambodia and how education
will always be the key to abetter future for every child. I
think I'm excited to see if Ican get more people involved in
staying bothered, it doesn'tcost anything we're not even a
(35:44):
charity it's about sharing yourpassion and your experiences
with those that also want to dosome of the same things so I
can't wait to see my socialmedia grow I said don't i don't
worry about likes, but I thinkit's cool that people follow us
and see what's happening withthe neat stories around the
world and how you can beinspired and plus we've really
(36:05):
cute merchandise. So can you buyother t shirts and hats and you
know it can it can apply toanything right now and that is
the thing about saying botherit's it's it could be political
it could be personal but I I'mexcited to be working on another
book as well and continuing toenjoy what I do every day and
(36:28):
find the good in it. Becausethat's that's hard sometimes for
people
Clara Bradbury (36:33):
Yeah, and I do want to mention for the merch
all the proceeds go to caringfor Cambodia, so you really have
no excuses for getting hurt or ahat or a book because you'll be
helping spread the word andyou'll be directly helping 1000s
Jamie Amelio (36:50):
I'm so glad you said that I leave that out all
too often. Yes. The books 15bucks Okay, that educates a kid
for a you know, it actuallyfeeds him for two weeks. The
shirts are super cute they makegreat gifts holidays around the
corner I definitely won't begetting rich off of any of that
we're putting it all back intoCFC so yes go to the website
(37:11):
saying bother calm
Clara Bradbury (37:12):
yes and share all of your photos when you're
out and about doing things thatyou're passionate about. You can
share at stayingbothered.com
Jamie Amelio (37:23):
I think we need to Staying Bothered day I where
everyone is as they're out andabout you know snap a photo of
something that bothers you putit in your calendar follow up on
it and then send me the story ofhow you really did something
about it and I would love to putthat out there.
I love that. So a reminder toeveryone you can purchase
Jamie's new book stayingbothered Find your passion
(37:45):
commit to action change theworld on the website staying
bothered calm, along with theirsuper cute merch. And Jamie it
has been such a pleasure talkingto you.
Clara This was so fun. I loveit. I love it. I You're so
wonderful. Thank you for takingthe time to ask all those great
questions. And again, I hope ifone person hears this and we
(38:08):
save a life or educate anotherchild then success. Awesome.
Clara Bradbury (38:13):
Well, I wish you all the best with staying
bothered and thank you as wellto pink granite.
Yes, thank you Pink Granite. Soappreciate you.
Hi, everybody.
I'm Clara Bradbury, and I am sothrilled to be hosting today's
episode of the pink granitepodcast. I have the pleasure of
chatting today with an amazingwoman who I've admired and been
inspired by for years. JamieAmelio, how are you doing today,
Jamie?
Jamie Amelio (00:18):
I'm terrific, Clara. Thank you. How are you
doing?
Clara Bradbury (00:21):
I'm doing great, too. Thanks. So before we get to
some of the questions I want toask you let me share with the
audience a little bit about you.
Not only are you a wife, a momof six kids, two of whom were
adopted from Cambodia, and agrandmother. But you have
essentially taken on thechallenge of caring for an
entire nation's children byfounding the groundbreaking NGO
(00:42):
Caring for Cambodia. And morerecently, you also founded a
really cool organization calledStaying Bothered, which is a
grassroots endeavor to inspirepeople to find a cause they're
passionate about, commit to it,and persevere to see positive
change. In addition to being achange maker, founder and CEO,
you're a TEDx and publicspeaker, and an author. I'm a
(01:04):
little exhausted, justdescribing the things you've
done.
Jamie Amelio (01:11):
Well, later on, I'll talk about how it's
important not to expectperfection, you may have listed
all those things, but doing themand getting where I am today is
definitely been a journey ofcelebrating small successes.
Clara Bradbury (01:24):
Awesome. So I mentioned you're an author, and
you do have a new book outcalled Staying Bothered. So I
wanted for you to tell us alittle bit about that new book.
Jamie Amelio (01:34):
Well, I wrote the book stain bother to share what
I've learned about theimportance of finding a personal
cause, and actually sticking toit. We all have things that
bother us every day, but I'mtalking about small things that
we can do big things about,sometimes we often get kind of
in the mix of I can't doanything because everything
(01:56):
looks to be so big. Um, and aswe move forward, I think staying
bothered is something thatpeople will resonate with.
Because, again, it's not alwaysa little things, but it can be
it's the big things that makereal change in life. So if we
start with that, and in my book,I kind of explain exactly how
(02:18):
you can get started on thatstaying bothered, hard part
getting bothered about somethingeasy, and I'm not talking about
spilled coffee, or traffic.
It's, it's something that'sreally, really worthy of holding
on to,
Clara Bradbury (02:33):
You know, it's so true hearing you say, you
know, it's easy to becomebothered, you know, we all hear
things on the news or see thingsthat bother us. But it's taking
that next step that can be hard.
So I want you to tell us alittle bit about your first
bother.
Jamie Amelio (02:54):
My first bother happened years ago, when I lived
in Singapore, my family and Imoved there in 2000, about 2000.
And a few years later, I decidedto go on a vacation to Cambodia.
It was then that I was touringthe incredible temples they're
just amazing that a little girlcame up to me and asked me for
(03:18):
$1 she asked me, really for $1for more than hope. I just I
asked her what it was for. Andshe said, I want that dollar to
go to school I have to pay to goto school. And it was then that
I realized something more washappening then on this vacation
than I could have anticipated. Itold her if I could see her
(03:40):
school that I would give herthat dollar. And that afternoon,
she showed me her school. Iwalked into a classroom that was
dirt floors, broken desks, kidspiled on top of benches together
that were to be their desks. Itjust broke my heart. And it was
something in that moment that Irealized, I could never walk
(04:03):
away from I couldn't get my headaround the fact that my kids
went to an incredible schoolthey had everything they can
possibly want or need. And herejust a couple hours away from
where I was living was asituation that was absolutely
appalling to me. So I went backto Singapore, and I gathered my
friends together. And I saidplease, folks, let's do
(04:26):
something about this. And we didand instead of going back and
just getting back into myregular life of the PTA mom
working out, again, vacationing,you know, we started Caring for
Cambodia. And that was 21schools ago, we now educate over
6800 kids a year.
Clara Bradbury (04:46):
You know, I've been working with you for
probably, I don't know, eight ornine years now and I've heard
that story before and stillevery time I get goosebumps
thinking about it and thinkingabout what a big difference one
person can make. And you'reright. Sometimes you have to
start out small, you can't, ifyou had decided back then oh,
(05:07):
I'm gonna build 21 schools and7000 kids a year, it probably
wouldn't have happened. But itwas like you started out small
and you didn't get overwhelmed,and you build up that way. And I
think that probably happens to alot of us, I know, I sometimes
get overwhelmed with the idea oftrying to change something. And
(05:32):
that can prevent me from evengetting started in the first
place. I know also, I sometimeshave trouble narrowing down, I
see things all the time that I'mbothered about, you know, we see
things on the news, we seethings in our neighborhood. And
for somebody who's trying tofind that bother, I mean, what
advice would you have? How doessomebody find that bother? What
(05:55):
steps can a person take to findher bother?
Jamie Amelio (05:58):
That's interesting, Clara, because I
hear so often, particularly withcaring for Cambodia, that I feel
like I never do enough. And Ijust want to see to everyone out
there $1, an hour, makes so muchof a difference when you really
commit to making change in theworld. And when in building
(06:20):
those schools, you're you'reabsolutely right, I never would
have thought in a million years,I there would be 21 schools I
could be talking about inCambodia. But what's what's so
fascinating every day that Iwork on this, are the volunteers
that make it happen are thepeople that find the passion and
do something about it. And Ithink often that's what I do
(06:43):
want to talk to people aboutwhen it comes to staying
bothered, find your passion,what gets to you in your heart,
what makes you want to dosomething, and then take small
steps to get there to dosomething. Surround yourself
with like minded people go lookfor other organizations that
might do the same thing thatyou're looking to do, you don't
(07:05):
always have to reinvent thewheel. So it's, it's something
that I think about all the time,I just want to put a big sign
out there. If everybody does onesmall thing today, something
really big could happentomorrow, you just never know.
We're in a world of beingbothered right now. So small
(07:25):
changes, maybe at one pointdidn't make as much of a
difference as they might now.
Clara Bradbury (07:32):
So true. The other thing when I was hearing
you talk about it is I've gotteninvolved over the years in
various organizations. And Ikind of have this sense of
guilt, because I have gotteninvolved, and then somehow it's
fallen by the wayside. I'vegotten busy with the kids with
my job with life. So thensometimes I'm a little reticent
(07:54):
to get involved for fear thatthat's going to happen again. So
what you know, do you have asfar as advice goes for people
when they're thinking, Okay, howam I going to stay motivated?
How am I going to staycommitted?
Jamie Amelio (08:07):
Clara Don't be afraid to get involved in more
than one thing. There's a lot ofthings that need to be done out
in this world. And I think thatis is something that I hear
often as well how to how do youkeep doing it, Jamie? How do you
how do you stay motivated? Howdo you not let things or
failures pull you down? How doyou how do you really keep
(08:29):
focused on doing what's right.
Well, number one, when you makea commitment to someone, or
something, it's about stickingwith it, I made a promise long
ago to those children inCambodia, that I would come
back. And I did come back. And Icame back with 1000s of
volunteers. And those volunteersmotivate me to keep going to
there's no way that caring forCambodia would be where we are
(08:52):
today, if it weren't for thecountless hours, dedication,
energy, kindness and money ofall those volunteers. So look
around you as people are doingother things. Hold on to that
let that inspire you to keepmoving and know that it's okay
if you're working with theAlzheimer's Association, and
you're also really interested inperhaps making sure your local
(09:15):
food bank is doing well you cando those two things. Another
tip, I would say and I talkedabout this in my book staying
bothered is write it down, putit on your calendar, make
yourself accountable. Put areminder up for 10 minutes a day
to go figure out how you canreally stick to what makes you
feel passionate about change.
Clara Bradbury (09:39):
Yeah, so important. And you know, you
mentioned a little bit ago, thatright now, there are so many
ways that we can get involvedand I want to turn to something
that's a big bother that we'reall feeling right now. And
that's COVID as COVID continuesto affect everyone's life in
varying degrees, how doessomeone take action during this
(10:00):
time and persevere to staybothered now and beyond, because
things are a little differentright now,
Jamie Amelio (10:06):
a little different would be an understatement.
You're absolutely right. Andlook what well, it may seem that
COVID makes staying botheredeven harder. I think in some
ways it might. But in otherways, it also opens our mind up
to really making change that wecan do from our own home. I
mean, look, there are so manyorganizations out there that are
(10:29):
struggling, that are really in abad place. And I see them shut
down, left and right, and itjust breaks my heart. But you as
a mom, a wife, a sister, and allof you now, females, teachers,
come on, you're on now we canall add that to our repertoire
of what we can get done. As amom, we're teachers, by golly.
(10:53):
But I think it's important tomake yourself really available
for other organizations and letthem know that you're willing to
help, you may not be able to goand volunteer in person right
now, which is really tough. Andthat that is one of the things I
talk about often is is going tovolunteer and feeling what it
really means to give back. Ioften wonder who gets more,
(11:16):
right of the recipient or theperson that's actually helping.
But in these tough times, it'simportant to reach out maybe do
a little more homework than younormally would. We'll get
through it. I think that even inthese tough times, the lessons
that will be learned that wewill look back on will be about
what we did when we werebothered. Yeah, really made a
(11:38):
difference.
Clara Bradbury (11:39):
And it's so true that when we have kind of our
eyes and ears open that thingspresent themselves, and that
there are still so many waysI've been so impressed by what
I've seen, and you know, on theneighborhood listserv, or at the
kids school, across the world ofpeople really wanting to be that
type of community whereeverybody's helping each other
(12:00):
out. And I think this isactually brought it out more.
Jamie Amelio (12:03):
I think you're right. And it's time for us to
really notice that. And I lovedearly on when we no one really
knew what to do. But there wasjust this theme of reach out to
your neighbor. We're doing that.
It's so important now, now morethan ever, because we've all
been cooped up for so long.
Clara Bradbury (12:20):
Yes. So true. So in staying bothered, you know,
your first bother presenteditself, it came to you,
Cambodia. But like youmentioned, sometimes you are
bothered and passionate aboutmore than one thing. So I'd love
it. If you could tell us aboutsomething you wrote about in the
book about a new bother thatpresented itself. And that's
(12:43):
focusing on the emotionalwellness of American teens. So
tell us a little about that.
Jamie Amelio (12:49):
I think what's going on with adolescents right
now is an absolute mental healthcrisis, no doubt about it. And
you're right and making change,you have to feel passionate
about it and make it personal.
Sometimes you look for thatpersonal and you're able to find
it. But other times, well, likeCambodia found me I would say I
did not go looking for Cambodia,that was a higher power that put
(13:12):
the two of us together to makechange. This particular bother
slapped me in the face, right inmy own home of having to deal
with my two sons out of my sixkids, I have two that have spent
some time in rehab and dealtwith anxiety and depression. And
I think, honestly, right now, ifour world doesn't take a
(13:33):
sidestep and take a look at ourteenagers and our young kids, to
help them to deal with theemotions they have, things are
not going to get better for themin the future. We've got to take
an enormous step forward andmaking change there. There's a
reason that suicide is thesecond leading causes of death
between kids 18 to 24. I mean,come on, we can do better. So
(13:58):
that is my new bother. I'm I'mdetermined to see what we can do
to help these school districtsto help parents get the tools in
their back pocket to be able totalk to kids in a different way
to get kids to know that it'sokay if you're not feeling okay.
But that's going to take a lotof discussion. I say staying
bothered is a grassrootsmovement. And I believe that as
(14:21):
time goes on, if we continue totalk about those things that are
really important, we can makechange. We can't let this
generation think for a secondthat suicide is actually an
option.
Clara Bradbury (14:36):
You know, it's so true. It's so heartbreaking
when I hear folks talk about itwhen I read the statistics, and
I do love the way now that thereis more of a focus on it. I
mean, it took us too long tofigure it out that it was a
crisis like you said, but youknow, last month was national
(14:57):
Mental Health Awareness Month.
We just Had world Mental HealthDay. You know, we're sort of
taking away that stigma aroundit. And it's a great first step,
but I feel like there's still somuch more new. You're so right,
I see it even in my youngerkids, they're already feeling
that stress. And it's going totake all of us to try to improve
that situation.
Jamie Amelio (15:20):
It really is that I'm glad that we're able to put
it out there. I love thatthere's Mental Health Awareness
Month, and I love that peoplenow are calling it mental
wellness. And I'll tell you, myexperience with my two boys
pushed me to a place in apersonal journey I had not had
it anticipated. And so oftenwith social media, and all
that's going on in the world,it's about what you look like,
(15:42):
are you getting the likes, areyou, oh, my gosh, that person
looks like they have everythingtogether? Well, and I don't want
to give too much away, becausehopefully, folks will go read
the book. But in my ownexperience, as a teenager, I was
really the precursor to this newbother, I just didn't know it at
the time. And once I reveal itin the book, it made me look at
(16:02):
who I am for real and be okaywith that. Because it's not
perfect. I'm not that great. Ido the best I can. And some
days, that's just good enough,it has to be. And you know, it's
about grit, just keeping, yougot to keep working and trying
and knowing that things aren'tgoing to feel good. That feeling
(16:23):
uncomfortable is a part of life,we can't save our kids from it.
And I think that's part of theproblem today is everybody wants
to keep their kids from feelingpain when that's a part of
growing up. But
Clara Bradbury (16:33):
so true. It's such a maternal instinct to just
not let them fail not let themfeel pain, when in fact, we're
doing them a disservice. But youknow what, Jamie, I think you
are great. So there's that.
Jamie Amelio (16:45):
Thanks, Clara.
Clara Bradbury (16:48):
So I'm not going to reveal either, of course, I
have read the book, and I'm notgoing to give away your secret
people are going to have to goread the book to find out. But I
will say that that part of yourpersonal story was very
compelling and eye opening tome. So now I want to talk a
little bit about stayingbothered the organization. So
you describe staying bothered asa global movement? What would
(17:11):
you like to see it become? Whatdo you envision it becoming its
growth.
Jamie Amelio (17:17):
So the mission for staying bothered is really
inspire and motivate people tonot only find that passion that
you're looking for, or islooking for you and then make
change with that. It's aboutsharing what's happening as that
as you're working in thosecircumstances. If you have if
you know of someone that'sperhaps started their own
(17:39):
organization, and we want toknow about it, I want you to
share it with me, this is aboutinspiring others around the
world. Same bothered stories,since we put our website up have
been so inspiring for me andothers, anyone who reads them,
you know, you can go to thewebsite, just plug in. I saw
this happen today and andinspired me and I'm staying
(18:01):
bothered about it. I think thatshould be a part of our world
today where we can look and seewhat inspires other people, how
they make change, and how theystay passionate about it. A lot
of people I've talked to are,they're kind of worried about
that finding the cause. If it'snot, it will come to you. If
(18:21):
it's not right in front of you.
Now, I think focusing on how youcan find things out as you move
forward in life is veryimportant. And staying bothered
helps you to do that you canconnect with others that are
making change.
Clara Bradbury (18:35):
So what I hear you saying is don't stress out
about it so much. Just go and dosomething.
Jamie Amelio (18:42):
Young people that want to change the world
overnight, that write me emails,or write me a note. And that's
when I do want to say don'tstress about it. It's there's a
difference between beingstressed and being passionate
about making change, because itwill happen,
Clara Bradbury (18:58):
It's a fine line.
Jamie Amelio (19:00):
it can be. And that's when you have to make
those decisions about stress.
You know, don't let it get you.
Not Not every little thing hasto be perfect.
Clara Bradbury (19:12):
That's a good reminder for everybody, for
sure. So you have obviouslyaccomplished a lot on your past.
Tell us kind of how you got tostaying bothered. What was your
career path? Who helped youalong the way? How did you get
to where you are.
Jamie Amelio (19:29):
I grew up in a military family. So I think that
early on, my father instilled inme the importance of respect,
responsibility, as I mentionedearlier, keeping your
commitments, and I started out Isay bc before children as in the
financial planning world, andthen I met my wonderful husband
(19:50):
and had all these kids and movedall over the place. And then as
I started putting Caring forCambodia together, I really had
to dig deep inside myself. Tofigure out how I was going to
stay motivated, my husband'sworking full time, this is an
area that I don't know muchabout education. So I surrounded
myself with teachers that knewwhat they were doing. I was not
(20:13):
shy about saying I want tolearn, can you help me? One
person that I really do look upto is Admiral William H. Raven.
That's a mouthful. I saw himdeliver a commencement speech at
the University of Texas goLonghorns by the way. His his
advice was, every day you getup, make your bed, just make
(20:36):
your bed, do something that youwill accomplish. And that is
really important that the waythat I look at my life is I try
and do one thing a day andfinish it, it could be as small
as cleaning off my desk, orcould be making my bed, I'm
going to admit, I don't make itevery day. But I try to I try
to. But the teachers, I lookback at the teachers through the
(20:59):
years that inspired me to keepmoving and not give up and the
teachers in Cambodia that haveabsolutely nothing. And they go
to work every day with a smileon their face. Because
education, they know is the mostimportant thing that we can do
for our children in the entireworld. But again, I think you
(21:20):
have to be okay with yourselfand knowing that you don't have
to do everything perfect. And Ididn't know that until I would
say probably five or six yearsago where I actually started
giving myself a break. And thenit changed the way that I
worked. And I wanted to workharder and smarter, not more and
be more stressed.
Clara Bradbury (21:40):
so fascinating.
When we actually give ourselvesa break how we end up
accomplishing more sometimes
Jamie Amelio (21:45):
it's true, it really is. That should be a
message for the day. Everybodyjust say all right, I'm giving
myself a break today, I'm gonnawalk away from something because
chances are, it's gonna be therewhen you come back.
Clara Bradbury (21:56):
Yep. And I'm gonna have to give a shout out
to teachers as well. I thinkwhether you're kids, or you are
learning virtually, whetheryou're in person, whether you're
in the US in Cambodia, theteachers are making it happen
right now. And I just want toput that out there. because like
you said, we've all beenteachers now. We know how it
goes.
Jamie Amelio (22:16):
To your point, I think many of us appreciate
those teachers even more havingto do what they had to do
practically overnight. Amazing.
Clara Bradbury (22:26):
Oh, yes. So tell us Do you have a mentor? Do you
mentor others? And how would youadvise a young woman interested
in a similar in a similar careerpath to yours or journey to
yours?
Jamie Amelio (22:41):
I do you love to mentor young young women in
particular. Because I think it'simportant for you to look up to
someone and see their not onlytheir accomplishments, but what
challenges they've had to gothrough along the way. And I
think that probably one of themost important pieces of advice
I can give these young folksstarting out. And I see it my
(23:02):
college aged kids, they startwith what they think they have
to do, I have to go I have to goto college for business. And
that's because let's face it,our school system, they're
getting asked what their majoris 10th grade, they don't know.
So one of the things I want toalways say to people is it's
okay to change your mind. Youdon't if you start out and you
want to be a banker, and thenyou decide you want to be an
(23:24):
interior designer, give yourselfpermission to say that's okay, I
think the best thing you can dois go find your passion. And
then Wow, if you can figure outhow to get paid for that you've
scored. And if that's not alwaysgoing to happen on your first
career path, I have a my 24 yearold says, Oh my God, this, this
(23:46):
job isn't what I thought it wasgoing to be. I really don't like
it. And I'll say honey, guesswhat, we all had jobs that we
didn't like, you're actuallysupposed to have jobs that you
don't like. So when you get thatgreat one that you just fall in
love with you appreciate it evenmore. But I think it's important
to look around and hang out withpeople that have the same values
that you do. And talk about whatyou're feeling as you as you're
(24:10):
going through your life withwhether it's business or college
or as a parent, we all knowparents that struggle with their
kids and sometimes more thanothers, particularly with the
what we just were talking aboutthe stress and anxiety and
depression.
Clara Bradbury (24:25):
sure, and it's such a good reminder. I know my
kids will say it I'll mentionsome job that I had, you know,
maybe in my 20s say, I didn'tknow you had that job. You know,
it's like I had a lot of jobs.
And it's so true if they werenot my dream jobs, but they gave
me a lot of experience. Theyhelped me become who I am today.
And that sense that they'relooking at us and they're
(24:47):
looking at older people on whatthey want to do. And that might
not happen right away, but it isall that path.
Jamie Amelio (24:57):
You'll learn a lot along the way. That's important.
As to know that you things donot happen overnight, I see our
younger generation wanting thatinstant success. But again,
you've got it. And when we talkabout being bothered things that
bother you, they happen everyday, staying bothered and
focused. That's the hard part.
That's where you have to slowdown, feel your passion, and
(25:20):
then keep moving forward.
Clara Bradbury (25:24):
Yep. And like you said, even if it's not your
dream job, look at all thethings you can still do to make
a difference. You know, whileyou're going on your path, it's
not that you're here at pointzero, and you need to get up to
100. And then you'll be able todo all of these things, the
entire journey is happening. Andthere are all these different
ways you can make a differencealong the way.
Jamie Amelio (25:46):
So true, small things.
Clara Bradbury (25:49):
Yes. So for someone who has given so much
and done so much for so manypeople, who do you lean on? Who
do you go to for life advice,career advice, you know, or when
you're having a tough day?
Jamie Amelio (26:03):
Well, I pray a lot, I will tell you that. And
there have been moments in mycareer where I've kind of said,
God, are you serious? Is thiswhat's supposed to be happening,
but and then I am reminded atthe fact that oftentimes, if we
give it up, then the answers orsolutions do come to us. I look,
I lean on my husband Bill a lotfor advice it particularly in
(26:27):
running an organization with itsglobal people are all over the
world, he's always been one thatI have looked up to, he's a
smart man, he makes decisions,just from the most logical right
place. And I often makedecisions from an emotional
place. So our leadership styleis quite different, but it works
together. So he's, he's alwaysbeen there for me whenever I
(26:48):
needed them. And, and I have alife coach, I have a therapist
that I've talked to for 20years, and I swear this woman
saved our marriage bill isItalian, I am Irish, we couldn't
be any more opposite of the waywe communicate. But it is
important to have someoneoutside of your inner circle
sometimes, or perhaps maybe Ishouldn't say it that way. Just
(27:10):
someone that you can sayanything to anything. And I have
that I have that with my lifecoach. And I would say, as a
woman, Mom, sister, friend, allthat my girl tribe is it, I can
call any one of them. It's asmall group of friends that know
me, some have known me since Iwas in second grade. So they
(27:32):
know the real deal. But it'simportant to have those kind of
relationships that you can beyourself talk about things that
are bothering you, and then moveon from it's it's really tough
some days to make decisionsbased on a country's education
system. And I do have to takethe pressure off of myself and
(27:52):
say, we really have done thebest we could with all that we
have. And the same with stayingbothered is staying bothered
about teen mental wellness.
Because that can be veryoverwhelming when you see what
the statistics look like. So Iagain, I pray a lot, I talked to
Bill, I have my life coach, Ihave my friends. And there are
people that inspire me likeMother Teresa, and Maya Angelo
(28:13):
and incredible folks like that.
Brene Brown. I mean, she'sterrific. So it's, it's
interesting to know that i ireally do count on that, as I do
the job that I do. Those peopleand those inspirational folks
(28:34):
are special.
Clara Bradbury (28:35):
Yeah, I'm right there with you with the girl
tribe. I also lean on my husbanda lot. Typically for more
practical, logical situations.
But yeah, when I need to reallyjust let loose talk to somebody
about how I'm feeling What'sgoing on? Yes, surround myself
with amazing women.
Jamie Amelio (28:57):
Yeah, I can't wait for my daughters to get old
enough to sit down and have aglass of wine with them. I have
one that is old enough to dothat. And we have done and what
an incredible relationship youhave with an older daughter. So
I'm still dealing with theyounger teen daughter, which is
that whole mental wellnessthing. We work on it regularly,
which is awesome.
Clara Bradbury (29:20):
So yeah, sometimes I feel like you just
need to close your eyes andleap.
Jamie Amelio (29:26):
You know, you do you do. I think one other thing
that's important to mention isthat I learned through this
process with my kids having beengone to treatment centers, how
tough that is on your family.
And I learned to parent muchdifferently. And one thing I
realized that I thought was soimportant that I don't know that
I noticed as much as I shouldhave earlier hindsight is always
(29:48):
2020. Right? But I want to bethat mom of my, my kids friends
that they could actually turn toit. Not the cool mom. It's a
it's about an outside voice. I,when I grew up, it was in my
church, or a favorite teacherthat I had. And it's just
different communities aredifferent these days, I don't
(30:10):
feel like we have that tightknit, or I didn't have an aunt
to turn to you. Maybe it's youraunt or cousin or uncle or, but
I think I want my daughter Averyto know. And her friends do know
I've had these frankconversations with them and
said, if you're ever feelinglike you want to take your own
life, and you don't have anyoneto talk to, you can call me. If
(30:30):
you're ever at that party, andyou've you've made a bad
decision. And you you're youdrink too much. You can't drive
home, you shouldn't drink, butI'm not the judge and jury here.
I would come get somebody beforethey put their life in danger.
So there's that fine line of No,I don't want to be the cool mom,
but I want to be the mom thatanybody can talk to. And if only
(30:51):
my kids had that, before theywent to their treatment centers
and had to deal with that. Ithink it would have helped them
go through what they wentthrough.
Clara Bradbury (31:04):
Yeah, it's so important.
Jamie Amelio (31:06):
You know?
Clara Bradbury (31:06):
Yeah, it totally I have several female friends
who don't have children, and I'mreally counting on them. They
know who they are.
Jamie Amelio (31:15):
And you should count on them. Say it out loud.
Make them say it out loud. Idon't turn my phone off at
night. Dang it one day, I will.
I don't know that's probably nottrue that I'm my grandson will
be calling me.
Clara Bradbury (31:28):
So you've been involved in so many different
things from education. You'vebeen involved, you know, with
the school board, policy, a lotof different things with
education and mental health.
Would you ever consider runningfor office yourself?
Jamie Amelio (31:48):
Well, I would say all laughing never. I bet I
would commit to I'll never saynever. I think it is it is
important that if we are goingto all say complain about things
that we also do something aboutit. And whether that's voting or
running for office, it'simperative. It's particularly
(32:11):
now I know everyone's talkingabout the presidential race and
all that's going on. But you canmake change in your own
hometown. You go vote for yourlocal school school board, go
vote for your localrepresentatives, take note of
what's happening in your ownback yard. I don't know what I
may do earlier. I mean, lateron. I've earlier in my career, I
(32:32):
did think about running forschool board, which is just I
mean, my caring for Cambodiacareer because I felt like I
needed to be really involvedwith the schools, and then with
mental wellness as well. But nowI think about the bigger picture
of what's really important forme, my family and moving
forward. I'll never say never,but I am going to vote. So
Clara Bradbury (32:52):
yes, yes, everybody. And there's
Jamie Amelio (32:55):
a lot to do in this world. There's definitely a
lot to do
Clara Bradbury (32:57):
so much. I saw an awesome el Arroyo sign I live
for the El Arroyo signs here inAustin.
Jamie Amelio (33:04):
You know what I'm talking about? So great.
Clara Bradbury (33:07):
Yes. But it said, raise your hand if you're
not going to vote. And then itsaid, Now slap yourself with it.
Jamie Amelio (33:17):
That is awesome.
And so el Arroyo, that's a greatjob I'd love to have I would
never be that creative, though.
My goodness. It must be a teamdoing that.
Clara Bradbury (33:25):
I agree. But it's so true. You mentioned you
know, there's so much happeningat every level, we get very
focused on those federal raceson the presidential race, but so
many decisions are being made atthe local level. And those are a
lot easier to get involved insometimes and where a lot of the
decisions are being made.
Jamie Amelio (33:43):
That's right.
That's right. And I I also thinkthat it's important to celebrate
small successes, I really dothink that that's super
important in our life in anyway. But for me with caring for
Cambodia, it was important tofind the small successes, like
the pencils that we got thereand the kids didn't have to
break and share them or wasstaying bothered that we are
wearing a T shirt that saysstaying bothered and somebody
(34:05):
asked me about it, and I'm ableto talk about it with them. What
does that mean? Here's what itmeans and then go do something.
And the same thing in our ownhometown is we reelect people
that are helping us to manageour everyday life. I think it's
important for us to not not beugly to others about those that
maybe didn't get elected. It'simportant that we celebrate some
small successes of being kindmaybe even if things didn't go
(34:27):
our way.
Clara Bradbury (34:30):
Yeah, so true, because a lot of people put
their hearts into helping maybea political campaign. And if
that person loses, then theyfeel like it's all been for
nothing but right it's not it'snot right. So if not political,
if you're not going to berunning for office, what's next
(34:50):
for you for staying bothered?
And then how can someone getinvolved if they would like to?
Jamie Amelio (34:57):
what's next? I Really, I'm excited to start
back up on my book tour becauseand here's my new bc before his
beat before children, but nowit's before COVID. So basically,
we were full on I was able toget out and talk to people all
over the country and even theworld about staying bothered and
why I felt like that was soimportant, and how it could help
(35:20):
others in their everyday lives.
I look forward to picking thatback up. I look forward to
speaking to organizations andschools around the world about
mental wellness and about caringfor Cambodia and how education
will always be the key to abetter future for every child. I
think I'm excited to see if Ican get more people involved in
staying bothered, it doesn'tcost anything we're not even a
(35:44):
charity it's about sharing yourpassion and your experiences
with those that also want to dosome of the same things so I
can't wait to see my socialmedia grow I said don't i don't
worry about likes, but I thinkit's cool that people follow us
and see what's happening withthe neat stories around the
world and how you can beinspired and plus we've really
(36:05):
cute merchandise. So can you buyother t shirts and hats and you
know it can it can apply toanything right now and that is
the thing about saying botherit's it's it could be political
it could be personal but I I'mexcited to be working on another
book as well and continuing toenjoy what I do every day and
(36:28):
find the good in it. Becausethat's that's hard sometimes for
people
Clara Bradbury (36:33):
Yeah, and I do want to mention for the merch
all the proceeds go to caringfor Cambodia, so you really have
no excuses for getting hurt or ahat or a book because you'll be
helping spread the word andyou'll be directly helping 1000s
Jamie Amelio (36:50):
I'm so glad you said that I leave that out all
too often. Yes. The books 15bucks Okay, that educates a kid
for a you know, it actuallyfeeds him for two weeks. The
shirts are super cute they makegreat gifts holidays around the
corner I definitely won't begetting rich off of any of that
we're putting it all back intoCFC so yes go to the website
(37:11):
saying bother calm
Clara Bradbury (37:12):
yes and share all of your photos when you're
out and about doing things thatyou're passionate about. You can
share at stayingbothered.com
Jamie Amelio (37:23):
I think we need to Staying Bothered day I where
everyone is as they're out andabout you know snap a photo of
something that bothers you putit in your calendar follow up on
it and then send me the story ofhow you really did something
about it and I would love to putthat out there.
I love that. So a reminder toeveryone you can purchase
Jamie's new book stayingbothered Find your passion
(37:45):
commit to action change theworld on the website staying
bothered calm, along with theirsuper cute merch. And Jamie it
has been such a pleasure talkingto you.
Clara This was so fun. I loveit. I love it. I You're so
wonderful. Thank you for takingthe time to ask all those great
questions. And again, I hope ifone person hears this and we
(38:08):
save a life or educate anotherchild then success. Awesome.
Clara Bradbury (38:13):
Well, I wish you all the best with staying
bothered and thank you as wellto pink granite.
Yes, thank you Pink Granite. Soappreciate you.
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