Bravery requires being off balance. You will only find the courage to “cross the cringe chasm” by remembering that the risk of losing your identity is greater than the risk of losing approval.
As today’s guest Henna Pryor writes in her wonderful debut book, Good Awkward:
“The idea of releasing this book into the world without knowing how you’ll receive it makes me cringe. But it makes me cringe even more to imagine walking through life as a person who doesn’t write and release the book that matters so much to her because she’s worried how it will land. Either one is a risk.”
The Approval Paradox that we all confront is that we are social, communal creatures; for most of us, what other people think of us does matter. And yet, we can’t allow others’ approval to outweigh whether we personally improve. Cheers to the real reel, and I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did! Awkward bits and all :)
More About Henna: Henna Pryor, PCC is a highly sought after Workplace Performance Expert and an award-winning keynote speaker, author, and executive coach. Her clients call her their “secret weapon for impossible change,” an honor she wears proudly. She’s known for her science-backed approach to improving the performance, habits, and actions of hungry high achievers – in her fun, no-nonsense, no-jargon way – to move them from their first level of success to their next one. Today we’re talking about her bestselling book, Good Awkward: How to Embrace the Embarrassing and Celebrate the Cringe to Become The Bravest You, which received the rare Kirkus Star for excellence in writing.
🌟 3 Key Takeaways
Awkwardness is a social emotion (we don’t normally feel it by ourselves), and it’s one of discomfort: there is a momentary gap between our internal identity (the person we want to be), and the person people see on display. Awkwardness lives in uncertainty.
Crossing the Cringe Chasm: Remember ICC—improvement comes after cringe. In these moments, if your self-improvement and even self-identity is more important to you than other people’s approval, it’s time to jump.
There are two main kinds of stories we tell about ourselves: “All of our stories tend to focus on standout events, both good and bad, because those are the experiences that shape us, that our brain uses to make sense of our lives. People who are driven to contribute to society, embrace friction, and take braver risks are more likely to tell redemption stories about their lives—transitioning from a bad situation or downturn to good end result or upturn. The opposite of a redemption story is a contamination story, interpreting the situation as going from good to bad.”
🔗 Resources Mentioned
Henna on the web, IG, Twitter, LinkedIn
Take the Self-Consciousness Scale: http://pryoritygroup.com/goodawkward
Articles: HuffPo—How To Embrace Your Inner Cringe And Make Awkwardness an Advantage
Research Studies: The Pratfall Effect, The Spotlight Effect
Rolling in D🤦🏻♀️h: The Business Yips and 51/49
Henna’s TEDx Talks: Why awkwardness is your secret weapon for risk-taking at work and The new way to brag in the modern world - and feel good doing it
Video: Vanessa Van Edwards interviewing Guy Raz—Successful People Can Be Awkward
📚 Books Mentioned
Good Awkward: How to Embrace the Embarrassing and Celebrate the Cringe to Become The Bravest You
Free Time: Lose the Busywork, Love Your Business
Pivot: The Only Move That Matters Is Your Next One
Life After College
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275: Cues—On Charisma with Vanessa Van Edwards
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📝 Check out full show notes at http://pivotmethod.com/358
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