February 21, 2025 • 56 mins
Mistress AudryLu Black delves into sexy talk with her guest, Stina French. Stina hosts the online monthly series Listen to Your Skin and is the editor and publisher of the Listen to Your Skin Anthology and Take the Fruit. In today’s episode, language is kink, from sexting and whispering sweet nothings to safe words. In this episode, they cover it all.
Content Warning: Self-harm
Links:
https://www.thegreatbritishbookshop.co.uk/products/take-the-fruit
Listen2YourSkin live events at IG@listen2yourskin.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Place Marker for Perversion Podcast. I'm your host,
(00:05):
Mistress Audrey Lu Black. I'm a professional dominatrix with 25 years
experience in BDSM in the kink community and I'm here to find out what I don't
know yet. Join us to learn things you never thought to ask from voices that
don't usually get heard. This content may include explicit material and other
(00:25):
adult topics. While our intention is to provide educational information, listener
discretion is advised. Each episode will contain content warnings so that you can
decide if the material is appropriate for you. This content is not meant to
serve as medical or legal advice and listeners are encouraged to follow up
(00:47):
with professionals for further information. The following podcast may
contain references to self-harm that some may find offensive. Listener discretion
is advised.
(01:30):
My name is Mistress Audrey Lu Black. I've been a dominatrix for 25 years and I like learning the weird stuff.
So I've started Place Marker for Perversion, a podcast so we can all learn and have real authentic pervy conversations together.
(01:51):
Would you like to introduce yourself? I would and I was wondering why you invited me
before I heard the summary of what the podcast was and then I'm like, oh, yay.
I who am I? I am someone who was a professor for 25 years and is no longer
someone who was the headmistress of a sex school, a school for adult sex ed for a
(02:13):
year and am no longer and I'm sort of searching for the big what next right
now as far as professionally and career-wise but my expertise is words,
editing, writing, marketing. Generally I think of myself as a host whether you know
in the sexual realm or any realm. I love all of that. Did you want to tell them your name?
(02:36):
Oh, I didn't catch that. Yes, yes. My name is I go by Stina which is the
ass-end of Christina in daily life and my first and only Dom name I've ever had
was Mistress Immaculate. It was you know like a lot of kink and I'm sure we'll
get into might get into some of this. It was a way to heal childhood stuff. My
mother made us clean to the standard of like military standard because her
(03:00):
illness meant that dust mites and things in the air would be hard for her and I
get that now as an older person with some disabilities but at the time it felt
like what you know why are we being made to do this to this exacting degree but I
sure as shit learned how to clean a house. And so to the degree where I have
(03:20):
books on old-fashioned cleaning methods I'm fascinated by it and I'm writing a
series of novels that teaches you all those things in the course of a lot of
queer polyamorous sex in this world of this empire of erotic house cleaning.
So they're polyamorous erotica novels that I'm writing teach you how to clean
(03:43):
your house. They also teach you how to keep clean be a clean little boy and girl.
Yeah. I'm here for it. I got distracted. Technically this episode is on language
it's on how we talk about sex. It's about when we talk about sex which is
absolutely your specialty on every level. So that's why I have you here. What was
(04:06):
the first time you remember learning about sex? Like what was your first sex
talk? Okay this is gonna be a very weird answer which is what you came to me for
I guess. Give me the weird stuff. Come on. I was I was talking about sex before I
have a memory of talking about sex and so I never had a conversation about sex
(04:26):
that wasn't that came from an adult down to me before well before I was
already exploring things willy-nilly. So the first time like what you're asking
for happened was in porn that I found right because there still wasn't a
conversation and the next thing I found was the another porn experience the
(04:48):
things under my sister's bed the things under her bed and then a pamphlet my
mother cat carelessly left around the house hoping I'd find it that would
explain administration but it was the parent guide talking to the parent
about how to talk to the kid and that's it that's a sum total of any
conversation I ever got about sex besides you don't have a problem do you
(05:10):
like there was a lot of that there was a lot of like negative checking and and
it came at me in the language of porn which has its own tropes and all of that
you know and the first time you see something novel in porn it's just like
the it's like a metaphor that you get in a poem you've never gotten that metaphor
before right and it really sticks with you but just last night I rediscovered
(05:32):
one of the first pieces of porn I'd ever seen and it was like opening a book to
that favorite oh that is that thing Robert Frost said about metaphors not
taking you know it's like all in that recognition and it kind of gets you off
and it's sexual over here and over here it's like literary or whatever but I'm
on a tangent now language and there's there's each each of them has has a
(05:55):
trope and a way you can respond and dialogue back and we're jumping ahead
to the later conversation I my favorite way to write is in different voices and
to say my favorite way to write is is I you might as well be saying my favorite
way to fuck and so if I can't be poly vocal about both I'm not into it and I
don't know exactly how that's responding to your question right now I'm trying to
(06:18):
I'm trying to loop it back backward focus on where you go that's okay don't
worry about you asked about the language yet I think I think it's so many
languages and just like I think early language before we're really given
vocabularies and grammars you know we we're searching our way there and I do
(06:40):
think that's what I was trying to say about my early sexual experiences or
non-sexual body explorative experiences I was forming a language for what was
going you know what goes where what's the logic here for you it's it's not even a
singular like vocal word-based language for you it's the entire intrinsic body
(07:04):
like all of that conversation all of that dialogue that happens with whether it
be music whether it be yeah and if I'm not you know if I'm not able to listen
in multiple directions in multiple ways I'm not very dynamic right like I
have a lover right now who's not keen on giving direction and I could have stayed
(07:24):
stuck on that like give me the language for how to please you this way please or
I could have gotten crafty and and experimental in my mind which I did well
how can I listen you know and I'm like oh this is how she's telling me she's
telling me with this hip motion and with this moan she has a vocabulary but it's
not a it's not a sentence with a subject in predicate right now you know speaking
(07:50):
of speaking of new lovers how you are an incredibly sensual person you're
incredibly erotic and pretty kinky how do you talk to new lovers or potential
new lovers when you sent me this you know this that question is the one I
spent the most time kind of like where do I where do I even go in there you know
(08:13):
so many protocols so many so many things right now I think that question is
always going to be context dependent answer right so right now my context
determines that I've been communicating in a certain way my context is that I've
had a lot of loss and sort of some really fucked up situations more than
(08:33):
before you know like so like a kind of a two-year pile up of some shit so we're
in a lot therapy we're untangling we're like okay what's my part and how do we
go and so right now my communication is really careful you know in that sort of
risk aware to risk averse spectrum that we float along but in general I'm very
(08:54):
cautious I'm more cautious than usual right now which means I do ask a lot of
questions and look for flags like anyone else would but when I'm specifically
testing the waters for sexual connection one of the first things I do and I think
it's probably very annoying to some people I think some people might right
out of the gate be very turned off by it and that makes me very happy if that
(09:15):
happens because it means they can't handle all of what this is I send
screenshots of my fat life profile I don't even do that life really because
and that's another thing we'll get into but yeah I'll send a screenshot and and
you it's shocking to a lot of people who aren't as sexually
explorative as yourself and myself and some of the things are going to be
(09:38):
immediate turnoffs to people like oh god is she gonna expect all this and what's
really funny is 80% of my sex life is is very vanilla I'm in it for the tantra
they X to see the multiple orgasms across six hour time span I'm very you
know lesbian but the the king parts nice when it can be there and so when I'm
testing the waters for a sexual partner or a king partner I I tend to I tend to
(10:00):
just show this is this is all of it yeah I'm self I'm self examined so you're
like looking at like the BDSM test which is available online and fat life
the day yeah kind of that or I'm using my own words I'm using all the words that
I've crafted there in that profile that say you know here's this here's this
here's this you know you know cunning minks wrote a book called eight things
(10:22):
I wish I'd known about polyamory before I tried it and fracked it up and cutting
minks had this beautiful idea expressed in there that other people also have
probably talked about but she's the one I I learned it from first was this
writing this how to date me guide yeah you know and how wonderful that is to
sort of just lay it all out so obviously something like that but I will
(10:43):
often give in texting like early sexting I of course will have a boundary
discussion like what level of sexting do you like do you like to send photos you
know all the all the safety stuff you know and are you a high level sexer is
that I am part of it for you I get off on sexting so much and I'm a writer right
(11:08):
so yeah you know so yeah that's a big part of it I'll give I'll give tasks and
like little mini quests you know in text and and make sure that they're
followed and and like you know yeah if they can hang with that then then they
like to be held suspended in liminal space I just blocked somebody who I was
thinking of taking on as a fuck buddy because you put some stuff in the middle
(11:31):
to see what people do with that because I want people to run away screaming if
they can't handle the outer edges of me you know because sometimes I like to
visit those edges and you you do that but then you stand back and you wait and
see what forms in middle space and a lot of times especially I know you being a
strong woman strong person too there's often nothing in the middle space and
(11:51):
you were just getting off to your own show and so that's one of the points I
wanted to cover in this question of how do you communicate about sex I try to
do it less than I used to because I was basically just giving it away for free
you know with like people just like wow your sexting is unbelievable I've
never been so turned on by sex ever it's so good and I'm like yeah what's in this
for me I know I've met me I know I know I'm great what are you doing back you
(12:14):
know yeah so if they can't if they can't if they start not being as good as me
okay fine it was literally been a specialty that I've taught on so that's
fine but if they're not trainable or twistable into being able to play with
language in some way it can be language of photographs I mean I dated a woman
who was not a poet but she made the most amazing collage sex fuck photos to say
(12:37):
like I have to have something some kind of language communication act back and
forth with lovers or I'm not interested so I always test that and see if people
can can be there and give as good as they get at this point in time though
we're still looking at even if you're holding back and trying to make sure
that they are actually coming to you and yeah there's a real partner in this
(12:59):
we're still talking about a lot of upfront conversation relationship all of
it's moving into the strong sexuality early for you do you what happens when
you I mean like it probably is easier because you tested out your partners to
make sure they are a certain level of like playful and flexible yeah do you
(13:21):
ever have a difficulty broaching a new concept to a lever or something that you
haven't done before yeah yeah specifically yeah and I've realized you know
when I spent a year being being at the head of like a sex school I got to meet
my own limitations and I got to realize that I carry bigger shame than I thought
and I got to realize that I actually am not quite as open as I as myself concept
(13:45):
sees me as in certain contexts like especially when I am with a woman
identified I have a lot of trouble bringing up some of the things that are
edgier that I haven't played with as much like with a woman or at all with a
woman so I have like this gendered thing that makes me a little scared to be that
(14:08):
dirty you know I admit it I admit it and I say I
say something I say okay I want to tell you this thing that here's what's going
on my head about it what level of filthy whore are you because I'm not a 12 are
you at least at 9 because otherwise if I pull out this special box you're gonna
(14:30):
run away from my house and so for me it really is like can they just not run
screaming you know I don't have to do all the stuff I just need people to know
that I do do it and so it's and then I want to know like what they want to
explore too that they haven't explored and I want that vulnerability back and
usually people come to me someone like me and it's very easy to be very pleased
(14:56):
with all that vulnerability and take a ride on it but like I was I was saying
I I've been learning to watch for whether there's an equal and opposite sort of
ability to be vulnerable ability to say this is a thing I'm scared to admit you
know have you ever had somebody bring you something that was just never gonna
be on the table for you but you weren't it wasn't gonna cause you to reject them
(15:19):
fully you just needed to be like this is a no how do you have that conversation
well if there are certain things that if someone had it in their sexual realm I
would not be able to be their lover even if they didn't need that with me yeah I
do have hard limits in that way right but there's stuff that I wouldn't want in
the field between me and someone that wouldn't bother me if they had it with
(15:43):
someone else can you ask me the question again I think I I'm looking for that
second category where somebody that you're that you're with introduces a
kink or an idea or a desire and you just have to you have to give them a no it's
a firm no but it's not a judgment on them like how how do you say no to
(16:04):
somebody and generally yeah in general that doesn't happen a lot I'm usually
the I'm always the kinkier party in and it just hasn't happened no one's brought
like scat play to me or something but that I'm just like no one's brought
something to me that's past my own limit I have very few but I have had to say
(16:27):
no to someone who was wanting like they wanted me to hurt them because they
wanted to die like really that's a heart yeah and so yeah like I realized guys
we're gonna stop here that's therapy not kink we appreciate you yes want you to
live well I didn't understand you know I was 37 he was 20 we it was it was a
(16:47):
disaster from the big it was a beautiful mostly orgasmic disaster from the
beginning you know but we we yeah that was bad but I noticed over time he kept
wanting me to do bigger and bigger and bigger acts of harm to him and I couldn't
I've only discovered my real sadist in relation to myself I could not I could
(17:08):
not go there and so with him because that was actually a need for therapy and
so I had a talk really I really think you need this isn't kink anymore this is
so far yeah yeah through me and I'm not into it you know and so I handle I can
tell you I handle other people's nose because that's so much common I I
(17:29):
celebrate I think anytime someone I care about and want to fuck again tells me you
know you know I'm like walkie thank you you know because because I do worry so
much about because I'm so kinky because I'm so initiatory because I can just be
ready and go can sense it's so important and so when someone tells me you know I'm
(17:52):
like oh fuck yeah your yes is a yes amazing and I really celebrate it you
know and that's what I'm looking for if I ever do have to say I know is it
someone's immediately just really really gracious about that has anybody given
you a bad no like they didn't mean to you but they fucked it up a bad no yeah
(18:15):
like I've had somebody I've had somebody do this to me where weirdly enough they
were too supportive in there now like they were trying to you know just say
you don't like anal don't say maybe if I'm really and like you just say you
don't want my tongue up your ass it's okay or like it'll be you know I don't
(18:39):
think anything bad of you great I don't think anything bad of me either I got
you I got you it's like that it's okay that you're a waitress really it's okay
okay I got that you know I got that from my ex-husband because he was being an
ally right and you know and so but that look on his face you know if it was
(19:04):
like look at my new toy like that and the eyes like I'm like no no I can't
even get you to have a threesome money no don't worry let's do our little segue
we're going to be doing okay wait can I ask question first yeah I love this
(19:25):
conversation but but but it's killing me too because I want to go back and ask
you all the same questions but yeah but I don't know can you is is that not the
format for you to also answer I mean you shared some in the asking of questions
(19:46):
which was great because you're good at this but there was one point I'm like
wait what's her fucking answer to this how do you the one the one I couldn't
really answer you know how do I introduce it to somebody how no the one
right after we're like the nose handling someone
honestly was that the question no it was one before that where you were like
(20:08):
how because I couldn't answer that one because I'm always like well I don't
really say when somebody brings me something that I'm not that interested
in yeah I I tend to respond very factually because that's just kind of
how I am with like oh I'm not comfortable with this position because my body
(20:33):
doesn't like being in it but tell me what you're getting from it and maybe we can
find other things that help do that yeah like if that is that you want to hold me
up against a wall that's gonna be hard for me because I don't like being yeah
like physically handled in that way but I'm more than happy to sit on a small
(20:55):
perch yeah like I have some free that's beautiful I I find compromise I like to
figure out like what it is the person is actually looking for was the wall the
important thing or was the whole thing the important thing that negotiation is
where all the fucking juices you know yeah I'm an experimentalist but yeah go
(21:16):
I'm very based on what it is people are fulfilling themselves like solving the
mystery of a person solving the riddle of a person and what core parts they're
playing with with these with these sex games and taboos and so on and so
that's always going to be interesting to me anyway but much like you I have I
(21:39):
have a broad experience I have a lot of things I've done so the other part of
asking somebody why they are interested in activity for me is that I may have
adjacent things that I love doing if that's related that they may not even
know yeah yeah yeah it's like me like I'm a hundred percent experimentalist
(22:01):
which really freaks people out you know like oh but you so that means you've
done like all these things and if anything new comes up you're gonna
fucking do it and I'm like yes but it doesn't mean I need that and that
negotiation is so easy for an experimentalist right so like maybe you and
I fuck and your thing is you always have to have sex exactly the same way and
someone who's very uncreative might think well there's no way we could fuck
(22:23):
there's a million ways we could fuck because you have to have sex exactly the
same way every time all I need is a little bit of novelty so let's switch
up with the dirty talks about this time you know but you still get your dirty
talk as x3 or whatever you know so I mean like and part of that too is a lot of
times when people do have to have sex the same way every time or in a limited
(22:44):
scope of ways some of that is based on physical sensation I've known and this
is a cross-gender and gender presentation I've known people who can only
get off from certain moments and a certain amount of that moment and so as
long as you can incorporate that in the totality of things a lot of the stuff on
(23:07):
the outside it's a lot of the foreplay a lot of the I could come a second time
kind of situation can be played with a lot more so good communication is just
way better sex but we were just like doing textual it's just like doing
textual analysis it's like you want to be able to summarize and get the
(23:28):
through line and solve the mystery of the text that you need those subtle
nuanced ever said to me no it's not it's top 10 easily favorite toys should I I
feel like so I have like toy centers and a toy box and one toy that you could
(23:55):
think of and it doesn't even have to be a toy it could be a book one toy one
thing that you want to introduce the audience to hopefully on topic I will
start and it's gonna be the most boring toy ever but it's not it literally just
as ribbon and part of that is we're talking about language one of the
(24:16):
things that I love to do especially with a partner who wants to talk more but
can't is the basic blindfold yeah taking away one of the senses and you're forced
to communicate either that you're doing something to somebody or somebody's
doing you want somebody to do something to you and you can't like rely on
(24:38):
pointing you can't rely on looking at where they're at it forces you to talk
more we communicate a lot more when we have another when we have our other
senses and also specifically the sense of sight being removed is beautiful
because we receive a lot of messages about judgment through sight and so you
don't have to be sort of watching someone's face for whether they're judging
(25:02):
you for the cheesy thing you said it's funny that you bring that up that's one
of the techniques I used in my dirty talk class was when you're doing it make
sure you're doing it blindfolded or with your eyes closed if you're
uncomfortable just to get that familiarity but I hadn't thought about
the constraint aspect before but absolutely yeah what are you telling us
to your favorite toy that you're thinking of us oh god this is this is a
(25:27):
book erotica and you're in it and this is I think officially a sex toy right
it's got a great it's got 50 some voices in it it's called listen to your skin
anthology of queer and self-love and it's poetry and flash erotica and really
highly literary smut basically throughout there's pages that you will want to
(25:50):
dog ear because that's where you're gonna have your orgasm you know just like a
good old hard-looking romance novel from your mom's shelf when you were 10 I
think this I think this book includes the word cunt a lot more than anything my
mother ever read I think I need to go and count how many times cunt is in the
book and use that as a marketing strategy when we print the next run yeah I
(26:12):
do you want to tie there's an orgy on the cover it's a hot little orgy a friend
of mine's a beautiful beautiful orgy it's very pastel and yellow and a beautiful
orgy you didn't say it you're the editor of that yes yes it's my my
press's first book we had a we had a deal with a publisher who everyone you
(26:33):
know had a deal with them broke their deal so they do what they do really well
but we won't name names because they're wonderful at what they do but they had
they shouldn't really try to make that lateral move didn't work out so we picked
up we picked up our little book baby and became a press I'm gonna enter that
right now because our publisher our publisher our producer sunflower over
(26:53):
here him very reserved orgy so demure your bra it's very it's very
beautiful so okay I I love the book I have read all of it sometimes two people sometimes very hot I think it's it's well worth doing that with I've given homework I've I've I've made some of my toys and pets by it and then given them homework based on the writings it's really it's a great tool
(27:33):
so I mean that gets into the second part which is a Roddick yes yeah and I will use this as a segue this is a perfect segue into that because the piece that I have in this book because of course I put my own piece in here is a piece about masturbating to come back into the self but really it's about using language to
(28:01):
reconstitute the self after you know like a disconnection from the libido and from from sex and I I had a whole couple of years there where I wrote fucked a lot so I was fucking myself and writing and then fucking myself and writing I was teaching a lot of embodiment writing workshops where it was like yoga and right so it was just a side step for me to fuck and write and fuck and write and I had lovers in this period who had to be very patient with me if
(28:31):
I stopped in the middle of something to get a notebook and then I'd be like no keep doing that but I'll be writing now you must understand this and be good with it right neurodivergent
okay um have you ever used your poetry or your writing to seduce somebody yeah oh I don't know how not to like in recent times because of how like twisted a lot of things got out of nowhere on me I have not been glamoring as freely because there are consequences look my partner is like if you cast one more someone mentioned sex magic in the in the in the chat and it
(29:12):
that's so far again I cast I cast an abundance spell and it worked too well and my my partners are like we know it takes a village to fuck you but we can't handle all this all this like this is enough abundance send some of it my way or back
I'm so sorry can we can we get you a t-shirt that says it makes a village it takes a village I made those t-shirts and sold them already did you yes oh my goodness they they sold like like the motherfucking hotcakes and I will make more just like I'll print more books maybe I'll do a book bundle with that shirt that's that's a good idea you know yeah so I'm gonna do it
(29:52):
not a very demure shirt no what is that for people who maybe don't have a lot of background doing sexting erotic talk what are the best like ways to start that the first way to start it is to explain to them like the benefit like if somebody is
(30:16):
really really a verse to it like it's just not my thing it's just not my thing then I turn English teacher on them and I talk about like I give lectures you know it's like do you understand that if you're not composing your own erotic body I'll just be composing it or someone else is just composing it and that's not co creative and that's not sexy
and it's not good for you either because in someone else is just writing your sex story and it's like yeah okay I'm a better writer than you so you want me to write it I get that I get that but also it's not then your story and so let's fumble through with hat with your if you think it's crayon on you know construction paper that's cool I will still think it's cute but you have to be writing your own story
(30:52):
and so I'll take that sort of philosophical take on it when people are super resistant and I'm like okay and then also like and then that's not exciting to me so I'm not going to be your lover you know but
I think I mean more like on the on the teaching level like if you were one of your erotic writing workshops your erotic yeah yeah I
(31:16):
think it's like a good prompt what's a good shortcut well the first past the shame that people have
well the first thing I do is spend the first half an hour of class reducing everyone verbally out loud in various ways and and being and being and saying out loud I'm going to spend the first half an hour this is a consent moment I'm going to be verbally
seductive if anybody has an issue with that as a training tool in the class and doesn't want me to banter with you flirtatiously let me know no one has ever said don't and and then I will just be leaving class but in the doing of it I'll be doing verbally seductive
(31:50):
and then I'll be classifying what I just did in front of them so I'm building a taxonomy of the different techniques for things you can do to be seductive and taxed and I'm like look you just had a half an hour of watching someone do these things you had the the arrogant cocky flirt we had the eye contact that was uncomfortably long with the lick lip and you know and so we labeled all these little things that happened which one feels natural to you what you know what is a thing that feels natural to you
(32:19):
and so I always have people go in and out of paired discussion to you know because that helps people open up just like in any kind of touching moment somebody and test it out so then I'll have them I'll give what I do is give erotic writing prompts and I'll I'll I'll I'll get people into it laterally here's here's one for everybody
I'll have every I this is a common corporeal or body based writing prompt that anyone who's familiar with somatic writing would would know right from the point of view of a body part right and so if you're trying to get someone to write erotically you know they pick whatever body part they feel is erotic and then you have them read that to someone
(33:02):
so you're not coming out and saying I want you to suck my cock or lick my pussy or I this or do this or these things you're talking on behalf of their body part which gives it that slant entrance makes it easier but you've practiced confessing and saying things that are that are vulnerable and erotic in the middle
space and so doing as a form of stepping to the side of the ego's defenses so the is a stepping the way like I think that role play tends to be a really good way to do that as well because if you can get yourself into role play especially yes and role play you're also stepping to the side of your ego right and letting those defenses
(33:47):
just kind of take a break.
Yeah, anything being done in that space in that role play space doesn't necessarily have to affect your full sense of self, or you don't have to worry that the other person is judging you completely as a human being it's just role play right it's just playing
(34:08):
and I talk with people about multiple languages when I'm teaching this stuff to like we did earlier like not everyone not everyone's language is going to necessarily be words.
There are other types of ways to communicate sexually.
I think a lot of people love hearing that they can communicate in, in just room presentation and the concern for the space and setting up the field and that there are these extra extra things you can do with that, that you just might never think of that are just so easy.
(34:40):
So being like more service roles.
Yeah, well I was just going to say when we're talking about room presentation. Yeah, that could be something as simple as camels like, we may be using a lot of terms here but they're.
Yeah, practically they're very simple things. Yeah, there's a nice cover down on the on the battery.
She said can be lighting.
(35:01):
Yeah, like sometimes I've known I don't want to take a lover, because like especially male identified, I love to let them see if it can be a little pillow princess and I just love to lay them out and, and if they cut if a male identified comes in my room and and there's the candles and there's
the special herbs that I've spread under the sheets so that they'll crush and release aroma during our experience like, if they're like, not into those things like oh what's all this.
(35:26):
I'm not fucking that person how do they even in a bit my room you know, like if they're not also into the drama of it and so you are a very dramatic person.
In whole ways.
Yeah, I am. I'm big I have a bigness to me that you know is.
(35:47):
I'm always learning how to toggle how much of it to let out or not.
I work so it absolutely is.
It is absolutely fun to do.
15 minutes left.
And talk about the dark side of sexual communication for a moment.
Yeah, sure.
(36:08):
I want to talk about the dark side of sexual communication. I want to, I want because I'm someone who's like, I never want to be toxically positive, but I also don't want to be someone who winds and can that isn't just always negative either.
But there's, there's a dark side to sexual communication and you know it's the same thing that is the dark side of vulnerability in general is like the more you express the more you give the more that can be taken the more that can be twisted right and so
(36:34):
it is, is my favorite stem and my favorite terrain to be in but it has felt really dicey and spicy.
And it feels like every time I go to express it really really fully.
Something happens on the other side that is so uncontrolled or dangerous that you really begin like I have a question for you as someone who's lived a dedicated the kinky life.
(36:55):
It, how do you stay in that pursuit that beautiful liminality cathartic bliss that we know waits for us behind all these doors that we open and walk through together.
How do you keep opening those fucking doors with the what you get met with like, okay, like, here's the latest the last lesson I learned about sexual communication, right, was I took on a lover who was my perfect kink partner.
(37:23):
Oh my god, all the same kinks. Oh he's got specialized equipment he can even build. Heck yeah we're getting into this right. And the dark side of that was I express myself so fully.
Who knows now looking back if he just mirrored all that or that was really for him but what what happened is, he became quickly addicted and stalker ish because he'd never met a woman like me, who had expressed all of this and could express all of this.
(37:47):
And he could not contain kink over here. And we're just you're just some dude I met on the internet and I have this whole ass life like he could you know he kept trying to just like own me or possess me.
And so sometimes I feel like I don't actually get like we're having this whole conversation that's so beautiful about kink but a thing that I want to voice is, I don't always feel like it's safe to be who I am, because of how kinky I am or because of as soon as I express it.
(38:11):
And so that's a boundary thing for me to work on I know, but but this larger culture that we live in.
So I was having this, this exact conversation to some degree with mistress siren.
I want to say on Monday so like just a couple days ago. And it was interesting because there is this thing that happens in dating. Anyway, which as a polyamorous person or a person that just has more than one lover.
(38:39):
It's more susceptible to based on numbers you date more people so this is more likely to hit you. There's this thing that happens in dating anyway, in which people are very prone to feel early limerence right like just early connection.
(39:03):
And because all of us are just a little bit our own weird, and we're throwing that out into the void. And you don't have the same promise of having like a similar background somebody that you might have had, had you just been dating in a small group or any one of those things.
And that becomes even more magnified in our space because I think people can do what you did which is connect on kink and kink alone, and either end up using each other as kink dispensers, where they're just, they're throwing their kinks at you and then pulling a lever to get their prize over and over
(39:43):
again, without acknowledging you as a person without reciprocating for your things. It's just that kink dispenser. But kind of worse than that, I think for me personally, is when there's this part of self, that kinky part of self that sexual part of self that has not been allowed to be just
(40:10):
really accepted. And in our society, we very much look for women to do the accepting of others, other women, men, all of us, it is it is the job of our bodies to accept and to bring in.
So when you have people who are connecting over one specific kink that maybe they're not as public about, they're not as they don't feel as heard or validated in, and they find you, and you're like, yeah, that's great, I'm into that.
(40:42):
They can mistake that very quickly, usually due to lack of experience for a full acceptance of self, because you have been okay with what they consider the most secret part, possibly the darkest part if they have shame built in, because you're okay with that, they see it as a full understanding
(41:04):
of themselves and motives their problems their things in the world. And, and that's now your job, your full time job is to take that.
And that's the point I want to make about language is that no amount of it is ever going to talk someone to where you are. You cannot build a bridge with language that is that supportive that it can carry someone's weight all the way on over to where you are you know and so
(41:27):
that's language as a seductive tool is like limitless and infinite, but when someone can't be where you're at, you will never talk them into it you will never can you'll never explain it, you'll never be like no, like all those words you just used.
I used those words you know at him at all the people that this has ever happened with, they won't be convinced of it right they can't understand it.
(41:49):
I think you have to be really careful is my point about how much you.
The thing that has made a big difference for me personally is that number one I do cultivate the relationships in which I feel like I'm a whole person, even if I'm not that person's person.
I have a lot of friends who are aware of what I do for a living, but they're not in kink themselves and my friendships with them are completely non sexual. In fact, I have a few friends who are like, can you shut up please.
(42:23):
Anything remotely sex, anything was sex. I have, you know, I have friends who are just not in this world. And I think that that's important for everybody.
They have to be fully accepted by them. They have to support me they can't be here, you know, loving me despite what I do. But for all of us we need to have a broad group of people that we feel see us and validate us and understand parts of us in different ways and just kind of accept the parts they
(42:59):
understand are there and not for them and that's fine. Every human being needs that because otherwise you end up looking at the next person as all of those things.
And we have to ask ourselves like, what does that person actually owe us when you're in limerence with somebody. Do you know them, or have you just projected all of your wants. All of your needs that you're not currently getting met yourself, or helping yourself meet.
(43:31):
Have you just put them on that human being and then been hurt that they didn't fulfill a promise they never made.
Yes. Yeah, and we're all guilty of it.
Yeah, we got to acknowledge it and grow.
Yeah.
And I think that that's, that's my favorite part about language is that at the very least it tells me who's going to grow with me.
(43:58):
Yeah.
And sometimes it tells me that when I'm completely naked and very happy with all of the.
Read the dark side of language when it comes to pink when it comes to erotica. And, you know, I think that there are certain words that are incredibly powerful in context and not comfortable in other contexts.
(44:31):
I'm fine being called a slut by anybody who means it with the right tone. Yeah, but there are lots of people who don't want to be called a slut even if you meant it with the right tone that they're walking down the street.
Right. They only want to hear it in very specific moments.
And so I think that that's, there's this judgment that happens where people are cautious about using words because they don't want to have gotten the context wrong.
(44:58):
They don't want to actually hurt the other human being in front of them.
So I like to much like when you were talking about in the beginning how you will share your, your profile on a specific King East site, or I mentioned the BDSM test where you can review all of your standard markers for for King like Dom or Brad or you know what percentage you are a feral.
(45:24):
I like to do a similar thing with language, where you throw language back and back and forth at each other and going with just like the very, very simple red, yellow, green marker of green that word is always good.
Yellow, that's a caution word. It's only a sometimes word or red. That's a fuck. No, I am out of your room. Never call me that.
(45:50):
Play with some talents play with some language get it up first. I just asked my my lover last night.
I said, call me some names. You'd like me to call you, you know, that way.
And that way I got called some names and she knows I like to get called names and I saw what level of names she can float to. Are we doing filthy little slut. Are we doing come hungry fuck pig like what you know where we're on the spectrum.
(46:16):
Can we go here and this is still love making and you don't just feel you feel the good kind of used, you know, yeah.
I love call me some names that you like. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful.
I think that that's also a good shortcut for people who are having a hard time entering that right in that like, okay, we're doing it to me.
(46:43):
A lot of people want to ask for what they want a lot of people won't like, you know, my nesting partners on a year's long journey to ask for what they want. And every time they do I'm like, you know,
Yeah, you did it.
It's, it's sexy. We like to be asked for things. I like to feel needed.
I am for me, when somebody is using languages, using erotic language to seduce me. It's less. Interestingly enough, it's less about them asking what they want, which I think is really valuable, but can be overwhelming for some people.
(47:22):
I, I like it when somebody talks about what they're going to do to me, or what their involvement. And part of that is just like,
knowing that if there's distance I'm still with that person. They're imagining me that connection is there. But part of that is also because I do so much sexting with like my pets with my with.
(47:47):
Yeah, you left your phone open on a table this one time. And I tried to not give into my urge. I didn't try it all I just looked and I read it and it was sexy as fuck it was just right there.
You didn't turn it down.
My phone is always down when I'm talking to like pets, but I know exactly what message and who's to you side to.
(48:14):
We're at that tea place. Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, I know who that was to.
Yeah, you're good. You're good. I'm good to trade some of our best work. Honestly, what I would love is a text thread with you or we just show off some of our best work to each other.
I'm going to tell you my, my three favorite things to call somebody and they're not even that complicated, but they're really good.
(48:39):
Call me them. Will you do it at me?
No, because they're orange titles.
You're right.
So I have pets as you're aware. I love to call somebody my pet.
It's a very cooing sound. I'm an owner. So that's what happens.
(49:00):
I love calling somebody my fuck toy.
Right.
Fuck toy is a great one. And you can change that around somebody can be a fuck machine, especially if they like to goon. So they can be
like, um, and then because of the use, it's just because of what it does to the mouth. I love a good cum slut.
(49:25):
Oh, so good. Yeah, good comes with to I can call a man a cum slut.
I can do it very easily. I have to have like a few therapy sessions about it with female identified partner before I can let loose that way I will masturbate calling my female partner in my fantasizing all the names and then in person I'm like,
(49:46):
did you see he he slut.
And it's like, you know, like heavy are you just the only thing I think I have a hard time calling a female partner is bitch.
(50:17):
I know, but I think it's because with women, it is just an insult. It's not. Yeah, got you. It's not.
It's the easiest one that I have back and forth because between between.
Well, yeah, I mean, yeah.
I mean, they're coming to us for that. That's not.
It is true. It's not a stretch.
(50:39):
They are begging.
Yeah, no, I will call a woman just about anything.
But the bitch is going to be.
I gave a visual gag there.
So another reason why telling people what you're going to do to them is hot besides it's just fucking hot to announce your plan. And first of all, your creatives your plan is hot right.
(51:06):
But also it's a consent moment you get to watch if their faces like, and, and, you know, it is so wonderful to be creative about consent, not creative like vague abstract shady, but creative as in like lay out your plans.
You'll hear a no they are there is one. Yeah.
There is nothing hotter than an enthusiastic yes. Yeah.
(51:31):
When you see somebody make their yes face when you see somebody's body leaning towards you the way the shoulders kind of bring in the way the hips curve under like, I am here for your yes.
And then even better is the face that happens when you walk away. When's was give that face and you leave them tied up where they are for a minute.
(51:59):
And then you come back and then you come back for your second yes doesn't mean you get it then.
Um, that is I don't know how to close this other than say more yes faces. Um, that is our conversation. Well, for now, we're going to keep talking forever.
(52:22):
But can I can I drop two names before yes, I want to tell people to check out a poem about this about language and how it's always trying to get there from here.
This is my favorite fucking poem and nobody's ever really read it once I've told them to, but I'll put it in the chat to but Robert has his meditation at Lagunitas.
(52:44):
And since you're such a word nerd and into this, it has a line that I'd love to quote that says, um, longing they say because desire is full of endless distances.
Longing and it's so beautiful. And then there's this poet, a lot of that is out of Memphis, who's a buddy of mine, who I think is doing more with pushing the boundaries of Horn lit than I've ever seen anyone else do.
(53:13):
Kim vodka out of Memphis. They have a book called the Elvis machine. Their books are not the kind of thing.
Even a lot of people will not read her her work. They like it's very spicy. It's very edgy for a lot of people who it's like almost gore porn, some of it definitely some copper filia stuff in there but it's very feminist marquis de saude kind of shit.
(53:38):
It's a you know, it's, it's a strange mashup. And but I love it. I love it because it pushes language in ways I've really never seen language pushed toward the bizarre and erotic.
And so I feel like I should send you a Kim vodka poetry book actually see what you think of if it's just gross to you or if you're like anyway you know, I get so excited with somebody send me back.
(54:02):
That's, that's the connection for me that's always going to last the longest.
It's wonderful. But you send me a book analogy time analogy time you send me a book you've read with annotations in it. You send me a lover you've just cream tied. It's kind of you know it's very
(54:23):
to look up I get to look up what's been left between the lines.
That is a clean metaphor for a very, very dirty thing.
We're going to have to end on cream pie. Sadly, all of the cleanup will have to be done off off the podcast.
(54:45):
I love you too siren.
Can I hang out with y'all while we're in a when I'm in LA next away have a special party with these people too because now we've bonded right.
We will we will make that happen. I'm going to go because they pop.
I'm going to go because now I have to masturbate on that whole idea of use of the annotated book and the lover I want but I want the lover with whatever you put inside them holding the book.
(55:14):
It's a combo for me.
Yeah, I'm writing a story about this right now. And fucking, I'm fuck writing. It's been a while. Now I have to go fuck right. Thank you for this conversation.
Thank you so much darling.
I will give you a head.
Oh God and I'll just go hide under a rock for a minute and have vulnerability remorse and it'll be awesome.
(55:39):
I will put it on your on your listen to your skin.
Spread you wide open. Let's do it. Yeah, I want to. Yeah, yeah, just get this publicly gate me. Let's do it.
All right, I love you honey. Thanks. Thanks for, you know, wanting me to be part of your first your first one of these I'm really excited for this project.
(56:00):
I could listen to you talk, you know, all day all night, and I got two once and that was great. And so I can't wait to promote this shit out of this project.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for listening. I'm producer may pop. We hope you enjoyed and learn something from our discussion today.
(56:21):
If you want to support the place marker for perversion podcast, you can find me producer sunflower, Mr. Slough and all of our guests on Patreon.
If you have any questions or ideas for future episodes or would like to be a guest, contact us at P4P at mrsloughblack.com.
Hello and welcome to the Place Marker for Perversion Podcast. I'm your host,
(00:05):
Mistress Audrey Lu Black. I'm a professional dominatrix with 25 years
experience in BDSM in the kink community and I'm here to find out what I don't
know yet. Join us to learn things you never thought to ask from voices that
don't usually get heard. This content may include explicit material and other
(00:25):
adult topics. While our intention is to provide educational information, listener
discretion is advised. Each episode will contain content warnings so that you can
decide if the material is appropriate for you. This content is not meant to
serve as medical or legal advice and listeners are encouraged to follow up
(00:47):
with professionals for further information. The following podcast may
contain references to self-harm that some may find offensive. Listener discretion
is advised.
(01:30):
My name is Mistress Audrey Lu Black. I've been a dominatrix for 25 years and I like learning the weird stuff.
So I've started Place Marker for Perversion, a podcast so we can all learn and have real authentic pervy conversations together.
(01:51):
Would you like to introduce yourself? I would and I was wondering why you invited me
before I heard the summary of what the podcast was and then I'm like, oh, yay.
I who am I? I am someone who was a professor for 25 years and is no longer
someone who was the headmistress of a sex school, a school for adult sex ed for a
(02:13):
year and am no longer and I'm sort of searching for the big what next right
now as far as professionally and career-wise but my expertise is words,
editing, writing, marketing. Generally I think of myself as a host whether you know
in the sexual realm or any realm. I love all of that. Did you want to tell them your name?
(02:36):
Oh, I didn't catch that. Yes, yes. My name is I go by Stina which is the
ass-end of Christina in daily life and my first and only Dom name I've ever had
was Mistress Immaculate. It was you know like a lot of kink and I'm sure we'll
get into might get into some of this. It was a way to heal childhood stuff. My
mother made us clean to the standard of like military standard because her
(03:00):
illness meant that dust mites and things in the air would be hard for her and I
get that now as an older person with some disabilities but at the time it felt
like what you know why are we being made to do this to this exacting degree but I
sure as shit learned how to clean a house. And so to the degree where I have
(03:20):
books on old-fashioned cleaning methods I'm fascinated by it and I'm writing a
series of novels that teaches you all those things in the course of a lot of
queer polyamorous sex in this world of this empire of erotic house cleaning.
So they're polyamorous erotica novels that I'm writing teach you how to clean
(03:43):
your house. They also teach you how to keep clean be a clean little boy and girl.
Yeah. I'm here for it. I got distracted. Technically this episode is on language
it's on how we talk about sex. It's about when we talk about sex which is
absolutely your specialty on every level. So that's why I have you here. What was
(04:06):
the first time you remember learning about sex? Like what was your first sex
talk? Okay this is gonna be a very weird answer which is what you came to me for
I guess. Give me the weird stuff. Come on. I was I was talking about sex before I
have a memory of talking about sex and so I never had a conversation about sex
(04:26):
that wasn't that came from an adult down to me before well before I was
already exploring things willy-nilly. So the first time like what you're asking
for happened was in porn that I found right because there still wasn't a
conversation and the next thing I found was the another porn experience the
(04:48):
things under my sister's bed the things under her bed and then a pamphlet my
mother cat carelessly left around the house hoping I'd find it that would
explain administration but it was the parent guide talking to the parent
about how to talk to the kid and that's it that's a sum total of any
conversation I ever got about sex besides you don't have a problem do you
(05:10):
like there was a lot of that there was a lot of like negative checking and and
it came at me in the language of porn which has its own tropes and all of that
you know and the first time you see something novel in porn it's just like
the it's like a metaphor that you get in a poem you've never gotten that metaphor
before right and it really sticks with you but just last night I rediscovered
(05:32):
one of the first pieces of porn I'd ever seen and it was like opening a book to
that favorite oh that is that thing Robert Frost said about metaphors not
taking you know it's like all in that recognition and it kind of gets you off
and it's sexual over here and over here it's like literary or whatever but I'm
on a tangent now language and there's there's each each of them has has a
(05:55):
trope and a way you can respond and dialogue back and we're jumping ahead
to the later conversation I my favorite way to write is in different voices and
to say my favorite way to write is is I you might as well be saying my favorite
way to fuck and so if I can't be poly vocal about both I'm not into it and I
don't know exactly how that's responding to your question right now I'm trying to
(06:18):
I'm trying to loop it back backward focus on where you go that's okay don't
worry about you asked about the language yet I think I think it's so many
languages and just like I think early language before we're really given
vocabularies and grammars you know we we're searching our way there and I do
(06:40):
think that's what I was trying to say about my early sexual experiences or
non-sexual body explorative experiences I was forming a language for what was
going you know what goes where what's the logic here for you it's it's not even a
singular like vocal word-based language for you it's the entire intrinsic body
(07:04):
like all of that conversation all of that dialogue that happens with whether it
be music whether it be yeah and if I'm not you know if I'm not able to listen
in multiple directions in multiple ways I'm not very dynamic right like I
have a lover right now who's not keen on giving direction and I could have stayed
(07:24):
stuck on that like give me the language for how to please you this way please or
I could have gotten crafty and and experimental in my mind which I did well
how can I listen you know and I'm like oh this is how she's telling me she's
telling me with this hip motion and with this moan she has a vocabulary but it's
not a it's not a sentence with a subject in predicate right now you know speaking
(07:50):
of speaking of new lovers how you are an incredibly sensual person you're
incredibly erotic and pretty kinky how do you talk to new lovers or potential
new lovers when you sent me this you know this that question is the one I
spent the most time kind of like where do I where do I even go in there you know
(08:13):
so many protocols so many so many things right now I think that question is
always going to be context dependent answer right so right now my context
determines that I've been communicating in a certain way my context is that I've
had a lot of loss and sort of some really fucked up situations more than
(08:33):
before you know like so like a kind of a two-year pile up of some shit so we're
in a lot therapy we're untangling we're like okay what's my part and how do we
go and so right now my communication is really careful you know in that sort of
risk aware to risk averse spectrum that we float along but in general I'm very
(08:54):
cautious I'm more cautious than usual right now which means I do ask a lot of
questions and look for flags like anyone else would but when I'm specifically
testing the waters for sexual connection one of the first things I do and I think
it's probably very annoying to some people I think some people might right
out of the gate be very turned off by it and that makes me very happy if that
(09:15):
happens because it means they can't handle all of what this is I send
screenshots of my fat life profile I don't even do that life really because
and that's another thing we'll get into but yeah I'll send a screenshot and and
you it's shocking to a lot of people who aren't as sexually
explorative as yourself and myself and some of the things are going to be
(09:38):
immediate turnoffs to people like oh god is she gonna expect all this and what's
really funny is 80% of my sex life is is very vanilla I'm in it for the tantra
they X to see the multiple orgasms across six hour time span I'm very you
know lesbian but the the king parts nice when it can be there and so when I'm
testing the waters for a sexual partner or a king partner I I tend to I tend to
(10:00):
just show this is this is all of it yeah I'm self I'm self examined so you're
like looking at like the BDSM test which is available online and fat life
the day yeah kind of that or I'm using my own words I'm using all the words that
I've crafted there in that profile that say you know here's this here's this
here's this you know you know cunning minks wrote a book called eight things
(10:22):
I wish I'd known about polyamory before I tried it and fracked it up and cutting
minks had this beautiful idea expressed in there that other people also have
probably talked about but she's the one I I learned it from first was this
writing this how to date me guide yeah you know and how wonderful that is to
sort of just lay it all out so obviously something like that but I will
(10:43):
often give in texting like early sexting I of course will have a boundary
discussion like what level of sexting do you like do you like to send photos you
know all the all the safety stuff you know and are you a high level sexer is
that I am part of it for you I get off on sexting so much and I'm a writer right
(11:08):
so yeah you know so yeah that's a big part of it I'll give I'll give tasks and
like little mini quests you know in text and and make sure that they're
followed and and like you know yeah if they can hang with that then then they
like to be held suspended in liminal space I just blocked somebody who I was
thinking of taking on as a fuck buddy because you put some stuff in the middle
(11:31):
to see what people do with that because I want people to run away screaming if
they can't handle the outer edges of me you know because sometimes I like to
visit those edges and you you do that but then you stand back and you wait and
see what forms in middle space and a lot of times especially I know you being a
strong woman strong person too there's often nothing in the middle space and
(11:51):
you were just getting off to your own show and so that's one of the points I
wanted to cover in this question of how do you communicate about sex I try to
do it less than I used to because I was basically just giving it away for free
you know with like people just like wow your sexting is unbelievable I've
never been so turned on by sex ever it's so good and I'm like yeah what's in this
for me I know I've met me I know I know I'm great what are you doing back you
(12:14):
know yeah so if they can't if they can't if they start not being as good as me
okay fine it was literally been a specialty that I've taught on so that's
fine but if they're not trainable or twistable into being able to play with
language in some way it can be language of photographs I mean I dated a woman
who was not a poet but she made the most amazing collage sex fuck photos to say
(12:37):
like I have to have something some kind of language communication act back and
forth with lovers or I'm not interested so I always test that and see if people
can can be there and give as good as they get at this point in time though
we're still looking at even if you're holding back and trying to make sure
that they are actually coming to you and yeah there's a real partner in this
(12:59):
we're still talking about a lot of upfront conversation relationship all of
it's moving into the strong sexuality early for you do you what happens when
you I mean like it probably is easier because you tested out your partners to
make sure they are a certain level of like playful and flexible yeah do you
(13:21):
ever have a difficulty broaching a new concept to a lever or something that you
haven't done before yeah yeah specifically yeah and I've realized you know
when I spent a year being being at the head of like a sex school I got to meet
my own limitations and I got to realize that I carry bigger shame than I thought
and I got to realize that I actually am not quite as open as I as myself concept
(13:45):
sees me as in certain contexts like especially when I am with a woman
identified I have a lot of trouble bringing up some of the things that are
edgier that I haven't played with as much like with a woman or at all with a
woman so I have like this gendered thing that makes me a little scared to be that
(14:08):
dirty you know I admit it I admit it and I say I
say something I say okay I want to tell you this thing that here's what's going
on my head about it what level of filthy whore are you because I'm not a 12 are
you at least at 9 because otherwise if I pull out this special box you're gonna
(14:30):
run away from my house and so for me it really is like can they just not run
screaming you know I don't have to do all the stuff I just need people to know
that I do do it and so it's and then I want to know like what they want to
explore too that they haven't explored and I want that vulnerability back and
usually people come to me someone like me and it's very easy to be very pleased
(14:56):
with all that vulnerability and take a ride on it but like I was I was saying
I I've been learning to watch for whether there's an equal and opposite sort of
ability to be vulnerable ability to say this is a thing I'm scared to admit you
know have you ever had somebody bring you something that was just never gonna
be on the table for you but you weren't it wasn't gonna cause you to reject them
(15:19):
fully you just needed to be like this is a no how do you have that conversation
well if there are certain things that if someone had it in their sexual realm I
would not be able to be their lover even if they didn't need that with me yeah I
do have hard limits in that way right but there's stuff that I wouldn't want in
the field between me and someone that wouldn't bother me if they had it with
(15:43):
someone else can you ask me the question again I think I I'm looking for that
second category where somebody that you're that you're with introduces a
kink or an idea or a desire and you just have to you have to give them a no it's
a firm no but it's not a judgment on them like how how do you say no to
(16:04):
somebody and generally yeah in general that doesn't happen a lot I'm usually
the I'm always the kinkier party in and it just hasn't happened no one's brought
like scat play to me or something but that I'm just like no one's brought
something to me that's past my own limit I have very few but I have had to say
(16:27):
no to someone who was wanting like they wanted me to hurt them because they
wanted to die like really that's a heart yeah and so yeah like I realized guys
we're gonna stop here that's therapy not kink we appreciate you yes want you to
live well I didn't understand you know I was 37 he was 20 we it was it was a
(16:47):
disaster from the big it was a beautiful mostly orgasmic disaster from the
beginning you know but we we yeah that was bad but I noticed over time he kept
wanting me to do bigger and bigger and bigger acts of harm to him and I couldn't
I've only discovered my real sadist in relation to myself I could not I could
(17:08):
not go there and so with him because that was actually a need for therapy and
so I had a talk really I really think you need this isn't kink anymore this is
so far yeah yeah through me and I'm not into it you know and so I handle I can
tell you I handle other people's nose because that's so much common I I
(17:29):
celebrate I think anytime someone I care about and want to fuck again tells me you
know you know I'm like walkie thank you you know because because I do worry so
much about because I'm so kinky because I'm so initiatory because I can just be
ready and go can sense it's so important and so when someone tells me you know I'm
(17:52):
like oh fuck yeah your yes is a yes amazing and I really celebrate it you
know and that's what I'm looking for if I ever do have to say I know is it
someone's immediately just really really gracious about that has anybody given
you a bad no like they didn't mean to you but they fucked it up a bad no yeah
(18:15):
like I've had somebody I've had somebody do this to me where weirdly enough they
were too supportive in there now like they were trying to you know just say
you don't like anal don't say maybe if I'm really and like you just say you
don't want my tongue up your ass it's okay or like it'll be you know I don't
(18:39):
think anything bad of you great I don't think anything bad of me either I got
you I got you it's like that it's okay that you're a waitress really it's okay
okay I got that you know I got that from my ex-husband because he was being an
ally right and you know and so but that look on his face you know if it was
(19:04):
like look at my new toy like that and the eyes like I'm like no no I can't
even get you to have a threesome money no don't worry let's do our little segue
we're going to be doing okay wait can I ask question first yeah I love this
(19:25):
conversation but but but it's killing me too because I want to go back and ask
you all the same questions but yeah but I don't know can you is is that not the
format for you to also answer I mean you shared some in the asking of questions
(19:46):
which was great because you're good at this but there was one point I'm like
wait what's her fucking answer to this how do you the one the one I couldn't
really answer you know how do I introduce it to somebody how no the one
right after we're like the nose handling someone
honestly was that the question no it was one before that where you were like
(20:08):
how because I couldn't answer that one because I'm always like well I don't
really say when somebody brings me something that I'm not that interested
in yeah I I tend to respond very factually because that's just kind of
how I am with like oh I'm not comfortable with this position because my body
(20:33):
doesn't like being in it but tell me what you're getting from it and maybe we can
find other things that help do that yeah like if that is that you want to hold me
up against a wall that's gonna be hard for me because I don't like being yeah
like physically handled in that way but I'm more than happy to sit on a small
(20:55):
perch yeah like I have some free that's beautiful I I find compromise I like to
figure out like what it is the person is actually looking for was the wall the
important thing or was the whole thing the important thing that negotiation is
where all the fucking juices you know yeah I'm an experimentalist but yeah go
(21:16):
I'm very based on what it is people are fulfilling themselves like solving the
mystery of a person solving the riddle of a person and what core parts they're
playing with with these with these sex games and taboos and so on and so
that's always going to be interesting to me anyway but much like you I have I
(21:39):
have a broad experience I have a lot of things I've done so the other part of
asking somebody why they are interested in activity for me is that I may have
adjacent things that I love doing if that's related that they may not even
know yeah yeah yeah it's like me like I'm a hundred percent experimentalist
(22:01):
which really freaks people out you know like oh but you so that means you've
done like all these things and if anything new comes up you're gonna
fucking do it and I'm like yes but it doesn't mean I need that and that
negotiation is so easy for an experimentalist right so like maybe you and
I fuck and your thing is you always have to have sex exactly the same way and
someone who's very uncreative might think well there's no way we could fuck
(22:23):
there's a million ways we could fuck because you have to have sex exactly the
same way every time all I need is a little bit of novelty so let's switch
up with the dirty talks about this time you know but you still get your dirty
talk as x3 or whatever you know so I mean like and part of that too is a lot of
times when people do have to have sex the same way every time or in a limited
(22:44):
scope of ways some of that is based on physical sensation I've known and this
is a cross-gender and gender presentation I've known people who can only
get off from certain moments and a certain amount of that moment and so as
long as you can incorporate that in the totality of things a lot of the stuff on
(23:07):
the outside it's a lot of the foreplay a lot of the I could come a second time
kind of situation can be played with a lot more so good communication is just
way better sex but we were just like doing textual it's just like doing
textual analysis it's like you want to be able to summarize and get the
(23:28):
through line and solve the mystery of the text that you need those subtle
nuanced ever said to me no it's not it's top 10 easily favorite toys should I I
feel like so I have like toy centers and a toy box and one toy that you could
(23:55):
think of and it doesn't even have to be a toy it could be a book one toy one
thing that you want to introduce the audience to hopefully on topic I will
start and it's gonna be the most boring toy ever but it's not it literally just
as ribbon and part of that is we're talking about language one of the
(24:16):
things that I love to do especially with a partner who wants to talk more but
can't is the basic blindfold yeah taking away one of the senses and you're forced
to communicate either that you're doing something to somebody or somebody's
doing you want somebody to do something to you and you can't like rely on
(24:38):
pointing you can't rely on looking at where they're at it forces you to talk
more we communicate a lot more when we have another when we have our other
senses and also specifically the sense of sight being removed is beautiful
because we receive a lot of messages about judgment through sight and so you
don't have to be sort of watching someone's face for whether they're judging
(25:02):
you for the cheesy thing you said it's funny that you bring that up that's one
of the techniques I used in my dirty talk class was when you're doing it make
sure you're doing it blindfolded or with your eyes closed if you're
uncomfortable just to get that familiarity but I hadn't thought about
the constraint aspect before but absolutely yeah what are you telling us
to your favorite toy that you're thinking of us oh god this is this is a
(25:27):
book erotica and you're in it and this is I think officially a sex toy right
it's got a great it's got 50 some voices in it it's called listen to your skin
anthology of queer and self-love and it's poetry and flash erotica and really
highly literary smut basically throughout there's pages that you will want to
(25:50):
dog ear because that's where you're gonna have your orgasm you know just like a
good old hard-looking romance novel from your mom's shelf when you were 10 I
think this I think this book includes the word cunt a lot more than anything my
mother ever read I think I need to go and count how many times cunt is in the
book and use that as a marketing strategy when we print the next run yeah I
(26:12):
do you want to tie there's an orgy on the cover it's a hot little orgy a friend
of mine's a beautiful beautiful orgy it's very pastel and yellow and a beautiful
orgy you didn't say it you're the editor of that yes yes it's my my
press's first book we had a we had a deal with a publisher who everyone you
(26:33):
know had a deal with them broke their deal so they do what they do really well
but we won't name names because they're wonderful at what they do but they had
they shouldn't really try to make that lateral move didn't work out so we picked
up we picked up our little book baby and became a press I'm gonna enter that
right now because our publisher our publisher our producer sunflower over
(26:53):
here him very reserved orgy so demure your bra it's very it's very
beautiful so okay I I love the book I have read all of it sometimes two people sometimes very hot I think it's it's well worth doing that with I've given homework I've I've I've made some of my toys and pets by it and then given them homework based on the writings it's really it's a great tool
(27:33):
so I mean that gets into the second part which is a Roddick yes yeah and I will use this as a segue this is a perfect segue into that because the piece that I have in this book because of course I put my own piece in here is a piece about masturbating to come back into the self but really it's about using language to
(28:01):
reconstitute the self after you know like a disconnection from the libido and from from sex and I I had a whole couple of years there where I wrote fucked a lot so I was fucking myself and writing and then fucking myself and writing I was teaching a lot of embodiment writing workshops where it was like yoga and right so it was just a side step for me to fuck and write and fuck and write and I had lovers in this period who had to be very patient with me if
(28:31):
I stopped in the middle of something to get a notebook and then I'd be like no keep doing that but I'll be writing now you must understand this and be good with it right neurodivergent
okay um have you ever used your poetry or your writing to seduce somebody yeah oh I don't know how not to like in recent times because of how like twisted a lot of things got out of nowhere on me I have not been glamoring as freely because there are consequences look my partner is like if you cast one more someone mentioned sex magic in the in the in the chat and it
(29:12):
that's so far again I cast I cast an abundance spell and it worked too well and my my partners are like we know it takes a village to fuck you but we can't handle all this all this like this is enough abundance send some of it my way or back
I'm so sorry can we can we get you a t-shirt that says it makes a village it takes a village I made those t-shirts and sold them already did you yes oh my goodness they they sold like like the motherfucking hotcakes and I will make more just like I'll print more books maybe I'll do a book bundle with that shirt that's that's a good idea you know yeah so I'm gonna do it
(29:52):
not a very demure shirt no what is that for people who maybe don't have a lot of background doing sexting erotic talk what are the best like ways to start that the first way to start it is to explain to them like the benefit like if somebody is
(30:16):
really really a verse to it like it's just not my thing it's just not my thing then I turn English teacher on them and I talk about like I give lectures you know it's like do you understand that if you're not composing your own erotic body I'll just be composing it or someone else is just composing it and that's not co creative and that's not sexy
and it's not good for you either because in someone else is just writing your sex story and it's like yeah okay I'm a better writer than you so you want me to write it I get that I get that but also it's not then your story and so let's fumble through with hat with your if you think it's crayon on you know construction paper that's cool I will still think it's cute but you have to be writing your own story
(30:52):
and so I'll take that sort of philosophical take on it when people are super resistant and I'm like okay and then also like and then that's not exciting to me so I'm not going to be your lover you know but
I think I mean more like on the on the teaching level like if you were one of your erotic writing workshops your erotic yeah yeah I
(31:16):
think it's like a good prompt what's a good shortcut well the first past the shame that people have
well the first thing I do is spend the first half an hour of class reducing everyone verbally out loud in various ways and and being and being and saying out loud I'm going to spend the first half an hour this is a consent moment I'm going to be verbally
seductive if anybody has an issue with that as a training tool in the class and doesn't want me to banter with you flirtatiously let me know no one has ever said don't and and then I will just be leaving class but in the doing of it I'll be doing verbally seductive
(31:50):
and then I'll be classifying what I just did in front of them so I'm building a taxonomy of the different techniques for things you can do to be seductive and taxed and I'm like look you just had a half an hour of watching someone do these things you had the the arrogant cocky flirt we had the eye contact that was uncomfortably long with the lick lip and you know and so we labeled all these little things that happened which one feels natural to you what you know what is a thing that feels natural to you
(32:19):
and so I always have people go in and out of paired discussion to you know because that helps people open up just like in any kind of touching moment somebody and test it out so then I'll have them I'll give what I do is give erotic writing prompts and I'll I'll I'll I'll get people into it laterally here's here's one for everybody
I'll have every I this is a common corporeal or body based writing prompt that anyone who's familiar with somatic writing would would know right from the point of view of a body part right and so if you're trying to get someone to write erotically you know they pick whatever body part they feel is erotic and then you have them read that to someone
(33:02):
so you're not coming out and saying I want you to suck my cock or lick my pussy or I this or do this or these things you're talking on behalf of their body part which gives it that slant entrance makes it easier but you've practiced confessing and saying things that are that are vulnerable and erotic in the middle
space and so doing as a form of stepping to the side of the ego's defenses so the is a stepping the way like I think that role play tends to be a really good way to do that as well because if you can get yourself into role play especially yes and role play you're also stepping to the side of your ego right and letting those defenses
(33:47):
just kind of take a break.
Yeah, anything being done in that space in that role play space doesn't necessarily have to affect your full sense of self, or you don't have to worry that the other person is judging you completely as a human being it's just role play right it's just playing
(34:08):
and I talk with people about multiple languages when I'm teaching this stuff to like we did earlier like not everyone not everyone's language is going to necessarily be words.
There are other types of ways to communicate sexually.
I think a lot of people love hearing that they can communicate in, in just room presentation and the concern for the space and setting up the field and that there are these extra extra things you can do with that, that you just might never think of that are just so easy.
(34:40):
So being like more service roles.
Yeah, well I was just going to say when we're talking about room presentation. Yeah, that could be something as simple as camels like, we may be using a lot of terms here but they're.
Yeah, practically they're very simple things. Yeah, there's a nice cover down on the on the battery.
She said can be lighting.
(35:01):
Yeah, like sometimes I've known I don't want to take a lover, because like especially male identified, I love to let them see if it can be a little pillow princess and I just love to lay them out and, and if they cut if a male identified comes in my room and and there's the candles and there's
the special herbs that I've spread under the sheets so that they'll crush and release aroma during our experience like, if they're like, not into those things like oh what's all this.
(35:26):
I'm not fucking that person how do they even in a bit my room you know, like if they're not also into the drama of it and so you are a very dramatic person.
In whole ways.
Yeah, I am. I'm big I have a bigness to me that you know is.
(35:47):
I'm always learning how to toggle how much of it to let out or not.
I work so it absolutely is.
It is absolutely fun to do.
15 minutes left.
And talk about the dark side of sexual communication for a moment.
Yeah, sure.
(36:08):
I want to talk about the dark side of sexual communication. I want to, I want because I'm someone who's like, I never want to be toxically positive, but I also don't want to be someone who winds and can that isn't just always negative either.
But there's, there's a dark side to sexual communication and you know it's the same thing that is the dark side of vulnerability in general is like the more you express the more you give the more that can be taken the more that can be twisted right and so
(36:34):
it is, is my favorite stem and my favorite terrain to be in but it has felt really dicey and spicy.
And it feels like every time I go to express it really really fully.
Something happens on the other side that is so uncontrolled or dangerous that you really begin like I have a question for you as someone who's lived a dedicated the kinky life.
(36:55):
It, how do you stay in that pursuit that beautiful liminality cathartic bliss that we know waits for us behind all these doors that we open and walk through together.
How do you keep opening those fucking doors with the what you get met with like, okay, like, here's the latest the last lesson I learned about sexual communication, right, was I took on a lover who was my perfect kink partner.
(37:23):
Oh my god, all the same kinks. Oh he's got specialized equipment he can even build. Heck yeah we're getting into this right. And the dark side of that was I express myself so fully.
Who knows now looking back if he just mirrored all that or that was really for him but what what happened is, he became quickly addicted and stalker ish because he'd never met a woman like me, who had expressed all of this and could express all of this.
(37:47):
And he could not contain kink over here. And we're just you're just some dude I met on the internet and I have this whole ass life like he could you know he kept trying to just like own me or possess me.
And so sometimes I feel like I don't actually get like we're having this whole conversation that's so beautiful about kink but a thing that I want to voice is, I don't always feel like it's safe to be who I am, because of how kinky I am or because of as soon as I express it.
(38:11):
And so that's a boundary thing for me to work on I know, but but this larger culture that we live in.
So I was having this, this exact conversation to some degree with mistress siren.
I want to say on Monday so like just a couple days ago. And it was interesting because there is this thing that happens in dating. Anyway, which as a polyamorous person or a person that just has more than one lover.
(38:39):
It's more susceptible to based on numbers you date more people so this is more likely to hit you. There's this thing that happens in dating anyway, in which people are very prone to feel early limerence right like just early connection.
(39:03):
And because all of us are just a little bit our own weird, and we're throwing that out into the void. And you don't have the same promise of having like a similar background somebody that you might have had, had you just been dating in a small group or any one of those things.
And that becomes even more magnified in our space because I think people can do what you did which is connect on kink and kink alone, and either end up using each other as kink dispensers, where they're just, they're throwing their kinks at you and then pulling a lever to get their prize over and over
(39:43):
again, without acknowledging you as a person without reciprocating for your things. It's just that kink dispenser. But kind of worse than that, I think for me personally, is when there's this part of self, that kinky part of self that sexual part of self that has not been allowed to be just
(40:10):
really accepted. And in our society, we very much look for women to do the accepting of others, other women, men, all of us, it is it is the job of our bodies to accept and to bring in.
So when you have people who are connecting over one specific kink that maybe they're not as public about, they're not as they don't feel as heard or validated in, and they find you, and you're like, yeah, that's great, I'm into that.
(40:42):
They can mistake that very quickly, usually due to lack of experience for a full acceptance of self, because you have been okay with what they consider the most secret part, possibly the darkest part if they have shame built in, because you're okay with that, they see it as a full understanding
(41:04):
of themselves and motives their problems their things in the world. And, and that's now your job, your full time job is to take that.
And that's the point I want to make about language is that no amount of it is ever going to talk someone to where you are. You cannot build a bridge with language that is that supportive that it can carry someone's weight all the way on over to where you are you know and so
(41:27):
that's language as a seductive tool is like limitless and infinite, but when someone can't be where you're at, you will never talk them into it you will never can you'll never explain it, you'll never be like no, like all those words you just used.
I used those words you know at him at all the people that this has ever happened with, they won't be convinced of it right they can't understand it.
(41:49):
I think you have to be really careful is my point about how much you.
The thing that has made a big difference for me personally is that number one I do cultivate the relationships in which I feel like I'm a whole person, even if I'm not that person's person.
I have a lot of friends who are aware of what I do for a living, but they're not in kink themselves and my friendships with them are completely non sexual. In fact, I have a few friends who are like, can you shut up please.
(42:23):
Anything remotely sex, anything was sex. I have, you know, I have friends who are just not in this world. And I think that that's important for everybody.
They have to be fully accepted by them. They have to support me they can't be here, you know, loving me despite what I do. But for all of us we need to have a broad group of people that we feel see us and validate us and understand parts of us in different ways and just kind of accept the parts they
(42:59):
understand are there and not for them and that's fine. Every human being needs that because otherwise you end up looking at the next person as all of those things.
And we have to ask ourselves like, what does that person actually owe us when you're in limerence with somebody. Do you know them, or have you just projected all of your wants. All of your needs that you're not currently getting met yourself, or helping yourself meet.
(43:31):
Have you just put them on that human being and then been hurt that they didn't fulfill a promise they never made.
Yes. Yeah, and we're all guilty of it.
Yeah, we got to acknowledge it and grow.
Yeah.
And I think that that's, that's my favorite part about language is that at the very least it tells me who's going to grow with me.
(43:58):
Yeah.
And sometimes it tells me that when I'm completely naked and very happy with all of the.
Read the dark side of language when it comes to pink when it comes to erotica. And, you know, I think that there are certain words that are incredibly powerful in context and not comfortable in other contexts.
(44:31):
I'm fine being called a slut by anybody who means it with the right tone. Yeah, but there are lots of people who don't want to be called a slut even if you meant it with the right tone that they're walking down the street.
Right. They only want to hear it in very specific moments.
And so I think that that's, there's this judgment that happens where people are cautious about using words because they don't want to have gotten the context wrong.
(44:58):
They don't want to actually hurt the other human being in front of them.
So I like to much like when you were talking about in the beginning how you will share your, your profile on a specific King East site, or I mentioned the BDSM test where you can review all of your standard markers for for King like Dom or Brad or you know what percentage you are a feral.
(45:24):
I like to do a similar thing with language, where you throw language back and back and forth at each other and going with just like the very, very simple red, yellow, green marker of green that word is always good.
Yellow, that's a caution word. It's only a sometimes word or red. That's a fuck. No, I am out of your room. Never call me that.
(45:50):
Play with some talents play with some language get it up first. I just asked my my lover last night.
I said, call me some names. You'd like me to call you, you know, that way.
And that way I got called some names and she knows I like to get called names and I saw what level of names she can float to. Are we doing filthy little slut. Are we doing come hungry fuck pig like what you know where we're on the spectrum.
(46:16):
Can we go here and this is still love making and you don't just feel you feel the good kind of used, you know, yeah.
I love call me some names that you like. Yeah, yeah, that's beautiful.
I think that that's also a good shortcut for people who are having a hard time entering that right in that like, okay, we're doing it to me.
(46:43):
A lot of people want to ask for what they want a lot of people won't like, you know, my nesting partners on a year's long journey to ask for what they want. And every time they do I'm like, you know,
Yeah, you did it.
It's, it's sexy. We like to be asked for things. I like to feel needed.
I am for me, when somebody is using languages, using erotic language to seduce me. It's less. Interestingly enough, it's less about them asking what they want, which I think is really valuable, but can be overwhelming for some people.
(47:22):
I, I like it when somebody talks about what they're going to do to me, or what their involvement. And part of that is just like,
knowing that if there's distance I'm still with that person. They're imagining me that connection is there. But part of that is also because I do so much sexting with like my pets with my with.
(47:47):
Yeah, you left your phone open on a table this one time. And I tried to not give into my urge. I didn't try it all I just looked and I read it and it was sexy as fuck it was just right there.
You didn't turn it down.
My phone is always down when I'm talking to like pets, but I know exactly what message and who's to you side to.
(48:14):
We're at that tea place. Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, I know who that was to.
Yeah, you're good. You're good. I'm good to trade some of our best work. Honestly, what I would love is a text thread with you or we just show off some of our best work to each other.
I'm going to tell you my, my three favorite things to call somebody and they're not even that complicated, but they're really good.
(48:39):
Call me them. Will you do it at me?
No, because they're orange titles.
You're right.
So I have pets as you're aware. I love to call somebody my pet.
It's a very cooing sound. I'm an owner. So that's what happens.
(49:00):
I love calling somebody my fuck toy.
Right.
Fuck toy is a great one. And you can change that around somebody can be a fuck machine, especially if they like to goon. So they can be
like, um, and then because of the use, it's just because of what it does to the mouth. I love a good cum slut.
(49:25):
Oh, so good. Yeah, good comes with to I can call a man a cum slut.
I can do it very easily. I have to have like a few therapy sessions about it with female identified partner before I can let loose that way I will masturbate calling my female partner in my fantasizing all the names and then in person I'm like,
(49:46):
did you see he he slut.
And it's like, you know, like heavy are you just the only thing I think I have a hard time calling a female partner is bitch.
(50:17):
I know, but I think it's because with women, it is just an insult. It's not. Yeah, got you. It's not.
It's the easiest one that I have back and forth because between between.
Well, yeah, I mean, yeah.
I mean, they're coming to us for that. That's not.
It is true. It's not a stretch.
(50:39):
They are begging.
Yeah, no, I will call a woman just about anything.
But the bitch is going to be.
I gave a visual gag there.
So another reason why telling people what you're going to do to them is hot besides it's just fucking hot to announce your plan. And first of all, your creatives your plan is hot right.
(51:06):
But also it's a consent moment you get to watch if their faces like, and, and, you know, it is so wonderful to be creative about consent, not creative like vague abstract shady, but creative as in like lay out your plans.
You'll hear a no they are there is one. Yeah.
There is nothing hotter than an enthusiastic yes. Yeah.
(51:31):
When you see somebody make their yes face when you see somebody's body leaning towards you the way the shoulders kind of bring in the way the hips curve under like, I am here for your yes.
And then even better is the face that happens when you walk away. When's was give that face and you leave them tied up where they are for a minute.
(51:59):
And then you come back and then you come back for your second yes doesn't mean you get it then.
Um, that is I don't know how to close this other than say more yes faces. Um, that is our conversation. Well, for now, we're going to keep talking forever.
(52:22):
But can I can I drop two names before yes, I want to tell people to check out a poem about this about language and how it's always trying to get there from here.
This is my favorite fucking poem and nobody's ever really read it once I've told them to, but I'll put it in the chat to but Robert has his meditation at Lagunitas.
(52:44):
And since you're such a word nerd and into this, it has a line that I'd love to quote that says, um, longing they say because desire is full of endless distances.
Longing and it's so beautiful. And then there's this poet, a lot of that is out of Memphis, who's a buddy of mine, who I think is doing more with pushing the boundaries of Horn lit than I've ever seen anyone else do.
(53:13):
Kim vodka out of Memphis. They have a book called the Elvis machine. Their books are not the kind of thing.
Even a lot of people will not read her her work. They like it's very spicy. It's very edgy for a lot of people who it's like almost gore porn, some of it definitely some copper filia stuff in there but it's very feminist marquis de saude kind of shit.
(53:38):
It's a you know, it's, it's a strange mashup. And but I love it. I love it because it pushes language in ways I've really never seen language pushed toward the bizarre and erotic.
And so I feel like I should send you a Kim vodka poetry book actually see what you think of if it's just gross to you or if you're like anyway you know, I get so excited with somebody send me back.
(54:02):
That's, that's the connection for me that's always going to last the longest.
It's wonderful. But you send me a book analogy time analogy time you send me a book you've read with annotations in it. You send me a lover you've just cream tied. It's kind of you know it's very
(54:23):
to look up I get to look up what's been left between the lines.
That is a clean metaphor for a very, very dirty thing.
We're going to have to end on cream pie. Sadly, all of the cleanup will have to be done off off the podcast.
(54:45):
I love you too siren.
Can I hang out with y'all while we're in a when I'm in LA next away have a special party with these people too because now we've bonded right.
We will we will make that happen. I'm going to go because they pop.
I'm going to go because now I have to masturbate on that whole idea of use of the annotated book and the lover I want but I want the lover with whatever you put inside them holding the book.
(55:14):
It's a combo for me.
Yeah, I'm writing a story about this right now. And fucking, I'm fuck writing. It's been a while. Now I have to go fuck right. Thank you for this conversation.
Thank you so much darling.
I will give you a head.
Oh God and I'll just go hide under a rock for a minute and have vulnerability remorse and it'll be awesome.
(55:39):
I will put it on your on your listen to your skin.
Spread you wide open. Let's do it. Yeah, I want to. Yeah, yeah, just get this publicly gate me. Let's do it.
All right, I love you honey. Thanks. Thanks for, you know, wanting me to be part of your first your first one of these I'm really excited for this project.
(56:00):
I could listen to you talk, you know, all day all night, and I got two once and that was great. And so I can't wait to promote this shit out of this project.
Thank you so much.
Thank you for listening. I'm producer may pop. We hope you enjoyed and learn something from our discussion today.
(56:21):
If you want to support the place marker for perversion podcast, you can find me producer sunflower, Mr. Slough and all of our guests on Patreon.
If you have any questions or ideas for future episodes or would like to be a guest, contact us at P4P at mrsloughblack.com.
Popular Podcasts
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Betrayal: Season 4
Karoline Borega married a man of honor – a respected Colorado Springs Police officer. She knew there would be sacrifices to accommodate her husband’s career. But she had no idea that he was using his badge to fool everyone. This season, we expose a man who swore two sacred oaths—one to his badge, one to his bride—and broke them both. We follow Karoline as she questions everything she thought she knew about her partner of over 20 years. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-3 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.