July 21, 2025 • 40 mins
Gary Kupik, an international speaker and mental performance coach, reveals how we can unlock peak performance by strengthening our minds just as athletes train their bodies. He shares a powerful framework for building an ironclad mindset that creates consistent results regardless of motivation or circumstances.
• Mental performance suffers when we overthink – "thoughts are like calories; too many weigh you down."
• Self-trust develops through exposure therapy – putting yourself in challenging situations repeatedly
• Optimism differs from positivity by requiring evidence and reasons to believe in yourself
• The mindset equation: Experience → Thoughts/Feelings → Response → Belief → Mindset → Behaviors
• Creating winning daily rhythms puts you in position to succeed regardless of motivation
• Reframing nervousness as excitement changes your hormonal response from cortisol to adrenaline
• Winning the day early (by 8AM) through consistent mental performance rituals builds momentum
• Mental health often stops at crisis and coping but mental performance focuses on thriving
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, welcome to another episode of Playing
Injured.
We have Mr Gary Kupik, who isan international speaker, writer
, professional member of theAssociation of Applied Sports
Psychology, and he's a certifiedprofessional leadership coach
through the ICF and ordainedminister of 28 years, which is
(00:22):
amazing.
So, gary, you work withprofessional sports teams, some
of the biggest companies in theworld.
We appreciate you coming on theshow.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
I'm excited about this.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yes, I love it.
So I love starting the showwith who is Gary and how does he
spend his time today.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, well, my name is Gary Chupik, from Seattle
Washington, and I'm a mentalperformance coach.
I unlock performance inhigh-performing athletes and
teams and, believe it or not,I'm more and more with
businesses than I ever thoughtthat I ever would.
And what does my life look liketoday?
It's just traveling aroundNorth America teaching mental
(01:02):
performance and leadership tobusinesses FBI, thrivant, keller
Williams, google just yeah, Ihad the privilege of speaking on
some incredible stages and I'mjust grateful for the
opportunity to spend some timewith you.
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So I really want to get right into it, because I've
got a chance to listen to otherpodcasts that you've been on.
Look at some of the content onyour Instagram, and one of the
things that really stuck out tome that I think has resonated in
my life recently was how yousaid that things that hold the
(01:40):
athletes that you work with backpeople that you work with in
business back, is that theythink too much.
Right, they think too much andme right.
I think I'm a really smart guy.
I've read a lot of books.
I've been able to speak with alot of amazing people.
One problem that I have, orchallenge, is that I tend to
(02:02):
overthink and think too much,and I remember in sport, right
when I played basketball growingup, we used to hear don't think
, just do, just act right.
So I would love to hear fromyou what causes people to think
too much and what can folksstart to do to kind of shut
(02:23):
those thoughts down, or is iteven?
Is that even what we could do?
I would love to hear kind ofthe remedy of thinking too much.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, it's really interesting.
I played high school footballin Canada.
I know that doesn't count inAmerica too much, but I played a
little bit of high schoolfootball.
And I'll never forget my headcoach, who ended up coaching
professionally.
But I remember one day hegrabbed me by the helmet and he
said Chupik, what are you doing?
And I said well, I thought.
And he said I never asked youto think.
(02:54):
Not one time did I ask you tothink.
I just wanted you to do this.
And it was like that was likemy baptism into the combination
or synchronization of thoughtsand actions.
So I've never forgotten thatlittle fun, little experience
with him.
But it's really true, I thinkwhen we think too much, it just
sort of slows us down.
(03:14):
We get kind of stuck inparalysis about you know, you
know, and then, in fact, even inthis day and age, with all the
analytics that are out there, wejust take in so much
information where it becomesdetrimental to us.
And so to find ways to learnthe essential things and just
focus on what we need to focuson, I think that that like
(03:35):
figuring out that ratio is soimportant, because we really do
need to play instinctually, nomatter what sport we're playing,
so if we're not, if we'rethinking too much, we're just
not playing instinct're not?
If we're thinking too much,we're just not playing instinct
instinctually.
And if we're thinking too much,it causes us to hesitate and,
as you well know, hesitation insports is the difference between
winning and losing.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, see, when I'm thinking about this, I
always feel like this is a greatanalogy.
Or I feel like people canvisualize this you go into a
networking event, right, andyou're by yourself.
Or you go to a party, or you goto anything by yourself, and
you know that you need to engagewith people.
(04:14):
I feel like that's when yourmind is the loudest right, which
is why most folks go to the barto go grab a drink really quick
, right.
Or they try to find something,or maybe a group of people.
It's a lot of analyzing and alot really quick, right.
Or they try to find something,or maybe a group of people.
It's a lot of analyzing and alot of thinking, right.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, in fact, I was just studying this recently.
So every Monday morning I do aMonday morning mindset and
people can sign up on my website, elitemindsetnationcom, so they
can get a free Monday morningmindset from me.
So I was just working on onethis morning for the month of
August and I was studying SteveJobs and what he called the
signal to noise ratio.
(04:53):
In other words, the signal isthe most powerful thing that we
need to receive, but there'sdistortion, there's noise all
around us, and so what he wasreally challenging us to do is
to operate our businesses justfocusing on the signal and not
the noise.
So, in other words, if we canget to that 80, 20 percentage or
ratio which is the Paretoprinciple right, like 20% of the
(05:16):
people do 80 or 80% of the 20%of the people do 80% of the work
Then if we can just sort offigure out, okay, what's the 20%
of the most important thingsthat I do on a daily basis will
give me 80% of the work, then ifwe can just sort of figure out,
okay, what's the 20% of themost important things that I do
on a daily basis will give me80% of the results I'm looking
for.
So it's like taking those 10things that we think we need to
do and just doing the two thatwe know that are essential to
the success of our business.
So, yeah, it's, it's.
(05:38):
You know, filtering out all thedistractions and the too many
thoughts is really interesting,and, in fact, what Steve Jobs
says is that we shouldn't focuson what to say yes to.
It's actually what to say no to, and so if we can just sort of
learn how to say no often enough, then it'll allow us to focus
on the no's.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Focus on the no's yeah, so you're saying is can we
organize our?
Can we focus on the things thatreally matter in the moment,
Not all the external, maybethoughts that might come your
way?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, and the other thing too is, I think the way I
like to describe thoughts arelike calories, and so if you
have too many thoughts, it'slike having too many calories.
If you have too many calories,it just kind of weighs you down
and you feel lethargic.
And if you have too manythoughts, it's like having too
many calories.
If you have too many calories,it just kind of weighs you down
and you feel lethargic.
And if you have too manythoughts, well, it's kind of the
same way, right, you get youkind of slow down, you hesitate
and you get lethargic and all ofa sudden your thoughts aren't
helping you, they're hurting you.
(06:35):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So when I'm thinking, and even with myself, what I've
practiced is that I don't haveto listen to every thought,
right, I don't have to.
I think about a thought as,like me getting a text message
that I don't have to respond to,right, I can just, I can just
let that.
I don't have to respond to amessage, right, I can just let
(06:59):
it go.
And so when it comes tothinking and overthinking that's
a challenge that I've seen alsotoo Right, I think with that
comes self-trust, right, I feellike we probably think a lot in
moments where we don't believethat we maybe add up or are
worthy for the moment.
Right, because when we do feelvery worthy and we feel we have
(07:24):
that self-trust, we're notreally thinking at all, we're
just, we're just doing.
How can folks start to buildthat self-trust, that
self-belief?
Um, how does that happen?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, I mean self-trust is really interesting
.
So I've done a lot of publicspeaking in my life.
I've probably been on stage I'mnot exaggerating uhating over a
thousand times, it's probably acouple thousand, but just to be
safe let's say a thousand times.
And it was only the last couplehundred where I learned to
trust myself, consumed withsaying the right things rather
(08:05):
than just letting us be ourauthentic selves and sort of
speak authentically and andinspirationally.
And so I had to really figureout how to trust myself, and I
don't know if there's like youknow, I don't know if there's a
secret formula other than what Icall exposure therapy.
In fact, I think all fears havecome, have to come back down to
exposure therapy.
In other words, you have tolike be exposed to the thing
(08:27):
that you're afraid of.
So if it's public speaking ortaking a big shot at the end of
a game or wanting the ball inyour hands, like you, you just
got to do it.
There's no other way.
So if you are afraid of snakes,guess what you got to do
eventually.
Right, like you can't handlerubber snakes forever, like you
have to grab a snake, and Ithink in the same way, sort of
getting comfortable withyourself and learning to trust
(08:48):
yourself.
That takes a lot of courage andfor some people like me, it
took quite a while to feel thatcalm.
But there was a book that madesuch a big difference in my life
.
So one day I was watching aSeahawks game and there was a
defensive end for the Seahawkswho was really struggling with
his self-trust and hisperformance and he would really
(09:09):
beat himself up afterperformance.
And so one day Pete Carrollwent up to him in the middle of
the season in a bye week and hesaid to him here's a book I want
you to read.
Again, this is a defensive endin the NFL.
And Pete Carroll says well,here, why don't you read this
book?
It was the inner game of tennisby Tim Galloway.
So you have an NFL footballplayer reading about the inner
(09:34):
game of tennis and and I thought, you know what, if it's good
enough for this defensive end,it's good enough for me.
So I picked up the book andstarted reading it and I was
just so blown away by the truthand wisdom that I read in that
book.
I was like, wait a minute.
When I'm tense, my heart races,my blood vessels close and I
(09:54):
just don't play as limber orplay as well.
And so I thought, well, what ifI went up on stage and I was
just like super easygoing andsuper relaxed, even to the point
of just like almost?
You know, people just say, oh,you look so, so relaxed, you
look so natural.
I mean like like hardly, likeI'm so nervous about being on
stage, Like I can't believe hownervous I am.
(10:15):
But when I, when I just learnedto trust myself and be relaxed
and, you know, work on my innergame, and then it really
produced results on the exterior.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, and I mean that's that's the key right
there is that you have to.
You have to do it.
You have to create evidencethat, oh, I am okay.
Actually, it wasn't that badRight.
Yeah, yeah, Go ahead.
It sounded like you had athought.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well.
Well, this is such a animportant subject, like in
sports or in life.
Confidence is so importantbecause I think, if you're going
to be successful at anything,you have to have a certain level
of confidence, because if youdon't, it's really hard to
succeed.
And so, as you mentionedearlier or intimated, you sort
of have to give yourself areason to believe in yourself,
(11:03):
or reasons to be optimistic.
And so I call it sort of likeyou know, the the difference
between positivity and optimism.
I'm not a big fan of positivitybecause I think positivity is
more of a feeling, but optimismis more of an outlook on life,
and and you constantly giveyourself reasons to be
optimistic.
So, to be positive, you don'thave to give yourself a reason
(11:25):
to be positive.
You can just like put a smileon your face and think you're
good at something.
You might not be, but you cansay to yourself that you are and
hope that it improves yourperformance.
However, with optimism,optimism always requires a
reason for you to be optimistic.
And so if you just worked onthe reasons, giving yourself
proof, as you said, then all ofa sudden you can lay your head
(11:46):
on your pillow at night and say,well, wait a minute, like I did
this.
I did this, I did this.
Perhaps I have a reason to feeloptimistic that I can win this
game or do whatever it is I wantto achieve, so.
So optimism is built throughreasons to give yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, one hundred percent and optimism, right.
It also, you know, I feel likeit creates those positive
emotions organically Right.
And I love how you mentioned,with positivity you mentioned
that you don't necessarily needanything.
It can be false, it can kind ofbe a false positive Right as
(12:21):
opposed to optimistic.
I may be feeling down right now, like I genuinely feel down,
but the outlook, I know, isgoing to work out in a good way.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, because you've given yourself reasons to be
optimistic, even no matter howyou feel.
It doesn good at this or I'veaccomplished amazing things
already and if I've utilized myskills and talents and abilities
in this particular area, mostlikely I can transfer it to
another area, and so you becomea confident person by being
optimistic.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah, Wow.
And then also too I think it'sa quote that I heard is you
can't think your way into betteracting, you have to act your
way into better thinking right.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, everything happens twice right.
It happens in your mind firstand then it happens in real life
.
So your thoughts reallydetermine a lot of your actions
and behaviors.
So it's worth spending timedeveloping and strengthening
your thoughts, yeahstrengthening those thoughts.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
And then also, too, what you also mentioned was that
nervous system, the feeling too, not even just the thoughts,
because the thoughts, you know,you start to strengthen your
thoughts, it's also theseemotions that you feel, right,
you know, you get on the stageand I've been on stage before
and I'm like, oh, I'm thinking,like I feel good, my mind is
(13:49):
great, my thoughts are great, Ifeel good, but, man, my chest is
tight and man, I'm sweating andI can't stop sweating.
I'm still looking for theremedy of how can I stop
sweating in those kind of highpressurized moments.
Have you came up with asolution to, like you said, the
(14:11):
relaxation, the let me breathe,let me relax when these high
pressure moments come, or thosemoments where, you know, I'm
kind of exposing myself to, tothat fear?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, it's really interesting.
I was reading about Ken GriffeyJr this morning and he said the
more fun you have, the lesspressure you feel.
Isn't that interesting?
Yes, the more fun you feel likeyou're having, the less
pressure that you feel, and sohe always had a smile on his
face.
He had this million dollarsmile right and the sweetest
swing in baseball for years.
So, yeah, when you're thinkingabout pressure, I often tell my
(14:50):
clients tell yourself thatyou're excited, that you're not
nervous, and if you can justtell yourself you're excited,
you'll actually change therelease of hormones in your body
from cortisol to adrenaline,and adrenaline, we know, is a
much more helpful hormone thanit is cortisol.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, have fun.
That is a command that I'veeven told myself have fun.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It's hard to be like, it's hard to be really anxious
and really nervous when you'rejust having fun and so, and so
our response and how weinterpret exterior stressors has
everything to do with ourthoughts.
So in one sense I say you know,if your thoughts can make you
sick which they totally can likeI mean, if you have a lot of
(15:34):
negative thoughts or anxiousthoughts, you can literally feel
like you're having a stomach,getting a stomachache or getting
a headache, but in the same wayyour thoughts can make you well
.
And so if you just focus on, uh, not just positive but
optimistic thoughts and positivethoughts and being, you know,
maybe practicing gratitude ormindfulness, you can really
(15:54):
change your physiology literally, and I think that's really
important.
So I'd like to say that we'reall chemists, right, like, we're
all like, we're all like, if wesmile at one another, it
changes each other's chemistryin our own bodies.
So, yeah, we're all sort ofchemists in one way, shape or
form.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah, a few things you mentioned.
First of all, have fun.
I think that's one of the bestthings you can do when you are
in moments where you're feelingnot that great, you don't feel
like doing it, you're feelingsome type of fear.
Have fun, and if I mess up, ifthat kind of that fear happens,
it's like, oh, actually I'mstill okay, right, but have fun.
(16:34):
And I mean you don't know howspecial that advice is and it
really comes from like childhood, when we just had fun doing
anything.
I mean, when we messed up, itwas okay.
We, we cut ourselves, it wasokay, we were having fun um, but
(16:55):
also you'll appreciate this.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Um, charles barkley said pressure is what you put
into tires.
Like that's what tiresexperience, right, you could
just hear king charles sayingthat.
Right, like it was.
Like what pressure, what that'sgoes, you know, which is so
funny.
And so he was.
He was, he had a great way ofinterpreting an exterior
stressor.
So our response to externalstimuli actually determines our
(17:20):
belief system about ourselvesand our mindset.
So I like to explain it thisway it took me about six or
seven years to figure this out.
Josh, literally, I'm notkidding.
I've been thinking about thisfor about six or seven years to
figure this out.
Josh, literally, I'm notkidding.
I've been thinking about thisfor like six or seven years, but
I came up with an equation thatis magical.
It literally can teach someonehow to change their mindset
about a particular thing.
(17:41):
So here it is.
I'll give it to you for free.
Here we go.
So you have an experience whichcan happen when you're really
young, or it can happen in youradolescence, or even happen now.
So you have an experience thatyou have thoughts and feelings
about.
So you have thoughts andfeelings associated with the
experience.
Sometimes you can control yourthoughts or feelings.
Oftentimes you can't so havingthe thoughts and feelings
(18:04):
they're.
They're neutral, they're notnecessarily positive or negative
, they're just what yourthoughts and feelings are.
However, the next step isreally the crucial one, and that
is your response to anexperience and thoughts and
feelings.
So how your mind isinterpreting the experience and
your own thoughts and feelingsis, I mean, it's crucial.
(18:27):
So if you can change or alteryour response, then it'll change
.
And this is the fourth stepIt'll change your behavior,
pardon me, your belief aboutyourself.
So, you have an experience, thatyou have thoughts and feelings
about that.
You have a response to that alllead, when you put it all
together, to a belief aboutyourself.
That's how beliefs are built.
So now I have a belief aboutmyself, and if you put all of
(18:51):
that together the experience,the thought and the feelings,
your response, your belief, andnow you get a mindset.
Yeah, and so you can literallylearn to build a mindset.
But Andy McKay from the SeattleMariners he taught me this he
goes, gary, you just can't stopwith your mindset, though.
It's got to result in new andimproved behaviors and I just
(19:11):
thought that was such an amazingaddition to my equation,
because what he's saying is okay.
So you have a good mindset.
Who cares, you know?
So it's good.
But it's got to result in newand improved behaviors, which,
if you think about it, cyclesback around to a new experience.
So a behavior is like anexperience.
And so now, if you giveyourself a new and improved
(19:33):
behavior, now you're givingyourself a new and improved
experience, that you have newand improved thoughts and
feelings about that, you have anew and improved response to
that.
You have a new and improvedbelief about yourself, which
literally leads to a new andimproved mindset, and then it
just keeps cycling over and overand over again.
So that is how you actuallybuild an ironclad mindset.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, I love that.
So can we break that down inthe example of you going on
stage, right, and so theexperience is going on stage at
first and we can talk about hey,this is what it was your first
10 speeches, right, you go onstage.
The thought and emotion wasprobably some, it's probably
some fear some nervousness there.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Am I going to mess up ?
Am I going to screw up?
Am I going to stutter?
What am I going to say?
Am I going to miss something?
My feelings are a completedread nervousness.
The spotlight is on me,everybody's going to be
listening to every word I say.
So I have definitely havethoughts and feelings about me
being on stage.
Well, now I have.
I get to choose my response toall that.
(20:45):
So if I say no, no, no, wait aminute, I have fun up here, Are
you kidding me?
Like I, my response to all thatanxiety and my thoughts and
feelings and being on stages Ican't wait to get up.
I can't wait to get there, Ican't wait to share my heart or
my thoughts.
So I'm telling myself torespond differently to the
(21:07):
experience and the thoughts andfeelings.
So now I'm excited about beingup there.
My belief that I'm creatingabout myself, as you could well
guess, is hey, wait a minute, Ican do this right, I can do this
.
I've talked in front of peoplebefore maybe not a lot of people
, but you know I can do thisRight.
And so your belief is I can dothis.
I can do anything that I put mymind to.
And then, uh, and then the.
(21:28):
The belief about myself is like,I'm confident in myself.
And now my mindset is you knowwhat, just about anything that I
put my mind to, I can do.
And so now, if I have a new andimproved behavior associated
with that, maybe that is that.
You know, I maybe own the stagea little bit.
I might walk around on thestage, I might share a funny
(21:48):
story, I might share somethingthat's maybe transparent or
vulnerable, and so I get donewith that experience.
And now I've created a new andimproved experience, which was
hey, wait a minute, when I'mvulnerable in the stage, people
really respond positively.
Now I have thoughts andfeelings about that, I have a
response to that, I have createda belief about that and I've
(22:12):
created a new mindset.
So, yeah, it works.
It works with so many things.
Just thinking that through.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I think and I think the first thing is is first
noticing and actually observingthe thoughts and the emotions
that you feel with certainexperiences right?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh, very much so.
Like, if you can and this iswhat I really love to do with my
clients I'll say, like you know, because oftentimes they're
negative experiences, and timegoes by, we grow, and so I tell
people listen, what if you couldbe the invisible person, right,
and you go back to thatnegative experience?
What would your present selfsay to your former self in that
(22:54):
situation?
And like, what would you?
What would you whisper in yourown ear?
You might whisper hey man,you're going to be on like
hundreds and thousands of stagesin the future.
Just relax, go have a good time.
You know this is, you're justcutting your teeth.
Go like, go be vulnerable, like, just so you might actually
coach yourself into an improvedresponse and an improved belief
(23:17):
about yourself and improvemindset.
Yeah, 100.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I love, first of all, that for you to break it down
is because and we all have theseexperiences, and a lot of times
the challenging ones are thenegative experiences, right, and
those feelings and emotionsthat we have.
You know, you know I talk aboutnervousness, things that might
make us angry, things that mightmake us emotional, right, and
(23:44):
you talked about gratitude andmindfulness, about gratitude and
mindfulness, and I feel likethose are some practices that
can help with that response tothose emotions and thoughts that
we feel.
Especially gratitude anytime Ipractice gratitude, I
automatically start to feelreally good because I'm focused
(24:06):
on the good, my attention isgoing towards good things in my
life currently, today, right,and it makes me feel good.
And then the mindfulness pieceright, the ability to kind of
observe those thoughts and letthem flow, right for you, how do
you practice gratitude,mindfulness and and how does
(24:27):
that help you with the responseto those, maybe, thoughts and
emotions that you might feelwith a certain experience that
you have?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, I think it was Dr Andrew Huberman that talked
about how many people who aresort of stuck in depression have
such a strong sense of theirself-consciousness, like they're
analyzing everything, they say,everything, they think.
They're just like they're stuckin analyzation and, and so when
(25:00):
you get sort of you feeltrapped right, like you, you're
almost like stuck in a prison ofyour own thoughts.
And so I do something calledthinking on the outside, like
keep your thoughts on theoutside of yourself so that you
don't get consumed with everyword and every movement yourself
or somebody else is making.
So I think it's a skill to sortof keep your thoughts outside
(25:23):
of yourself, so stay focused onexternal things, not necessarily
on internal things.
Be aware of them.
Like your feelings are likesheep, like they're going to
wander Right, and then our jobis to build a fence around the
sheep, the herd, and make surethat they're slightly contained,
at least a little bit, and, andI think, to notice your
(25:44):
thoughts when they startwandering.
Sometimes you just got to bringthem back inside the fence
gently and acknowledge them, butyou certainly don't want to
dwell on them.
So I think a great analogy forme when it comes to thoughts is
is driving in a car, so you wantto make sure that you're
driving forward and lookingthrough the windshield because
it's future oriented.
(26:04):
So you know you're sitting inyour car and you want to be
looking forward.
Now, if you're constantlylooking backwards, you're going
to crash your car because youwant to be looking forward.
Now, if you're constantlylooking backwards, you're going
to crash your car because you'relooking in the rear view mirror
and so you tend to.
You know, steer to the right orsteer to the left, and the side
view mirrors are there for youto glance at.
They're there for you to noticethings and what's at your side
(26:26):
in the present moment.
But I think looking through thewindshield is one of the most
healthiest things that wecontinue to get over some of the
discouragement or setbacks ordepression that we might be
experiencing.
So sort of that forwardthinking and growth mindset can
be really valuable, especiallywhen we're struggling.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, 100%.
So even before, so, before wehit records, you talked about
mental health.
Versus that mental performanceand what you just mentioned, now
it feels more of that mentalhealth piece, right, that, hey,
how can we start to look at thebig picture right, the
(27:05):
windshield right?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, I think it's really interesting when it comes
to mental health.
I remember walking in the innersanctum of a professional
sports football team and I waswalking with the coach through
the facilities and we passed thetraining room and guys are
getting bandaged up and gettingiced up and they're getting
(27:27):
cared for.
And we go from the trainingroom to the gym and guys are
pumping iron.
You can just hear that sort ofthe clank and clink of weights
and guys are grunting andthrowing down weights and that
kind of thing.
And I looked at the coach and Isaid, coach, this is what I do.
So there are people thatspecialize in some of the mental
(27:47):
health issues and I have someexperience with that.
But I'm really here really tomake people's minds stronger and
I think mental health stops toooften at solving the problems
of crisis and coping, but itdoesn't go far enough.
It doesn't give people enoughtools to be able to thrive and
transcend their presentexperience.
And I don't know about you, butit's hard to win games, playing
(28:11):
defense all the time, and Ithink a lot of mental health is
about playing that defense.
And you know, practicinggratitude, which is great,
practicing mindfulness, which isawesome, but it just doesn't go
far enough, and so I want tochallenge people to act, to get
much more resilient andstrengthen their mind, because
it's one of the three thingsthat you can train you can train
(28:32):
your craft, you can train yourbody and you can train your mind
and we just don't spend enoughtime training our mind well,
walk us through that with it,because I think a lot of people
go to the gym.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Well, you know, people go to the gym.
Right, we are training our body, but our mind I think we don't
spend as much time with when,like you said, hey, that's what
can make you sick or help youthrive, right?
So what does that look like tostrengthen your mind, to perform
(29:01):
better and actually thrive, asopposed to, you know, make sure
you're at baseline right.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah, it's such a good question because when you
think about a pro athlete let'stake football, for example and
let's say a pro athlete gets upat 6, 30 AM, he, you know, he
gets to the facility by nine andthen they have a walk through
and then they have a full teampractice and then they have
(29:30):
lunch, and then they havepositional meetings and then
they have a full practice againand then they go home and it's
what do they do the next day?
It's the same thing.
They just rinse and repeat.
And I think that rhythm andconsistency is just crucial to
success.
If you want to be good atanything, you got to put in the
(29:50):
reps.
Just crucial to success.
If you want to be good atanything, you got to put in the
reps.
So these guys are literallybuilding in a rhythm of
performance into their life thatallows them to perform at the
highest levels in their craft.
So, in the same way, what if wejust transferred those same
principles to our mentalperformance?
And so if we woke up today,well, think of like a computer,
that is, let's say, you get toinstall programs onto your hard
(30:14):
drive.
Well, what programs are youinstalling into your hard drive?
Or onto your hard drive everysingle morning.
It's the same thing.
And what if you could?
What if you noticed that therewere certain programs that you
could upload or install intoyour mind or boot up into your
mind every single day?
That puts you in the bestposition to succeed that day.
(30:34):
And so you might find thatthere are a consistent five, six
or seven things that allow youto perform at your very best on
a daily basis.
Well, what would happen if youjust repeated those things and
you created a rhythm of highperformance in your life by
doing these five or seven thingsLike, for example, you know,
getting seven hours of sleep ormore?
(30:55):
So that would be.
That would put you in the bestposition to succeed every day,
as opposed to getting four orfive hours.
So what if?
What if going to sleep on timewas one of the most important
performance enhancing thingsthat you can possibly do?
Well, you would make that apriority, because it affects
your emotional regulation, itaffects your decision-making, it
(31:15):
affects your confidence, itaffects what you eat, it affects
your relationships and how youtalk, it affects your self-talk.
So I mean, there's so manyvaluable things.
So what if you could stack yourdeck with aces every single day
and create those rhythms, likea football player going to the
facility and doing his dailyrhythms so that he can be the
(31:37):
best that he can be.
Or what if we just did thatwith our mind?
So what if we had a mentalprotocol that puts us in the
best position to succeed?
And that's what I want tocommunicate to people.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yeah, yeah, you even talked about earlier you talked
about the example of buildinglike a fence around that force
field around your mental picture, right, to keep you thinking in
that kind of that optimisticformat, right.
(32:10):
So that protocol, right, here'swhat I'm thinking about in my
mind.
I'm thinking about listening topositive things or things that
helped me grow, right Podcasts,audio books, things of that
nature, right, thinking aboutreading books.
I can tell that you read a lot,right.
(32:30):
I'm thinking about the people Ispend time around.
The information basically thatI'm getting is so easy to scroll
and have that mindless contentof that negative banter and
things.
That information is put into mymind that wasn't even there and
(32:51):
now my mind is spiraling withall these negative thoughts,
right, and so is that prettymuch what you're talking about
when you talk about thatprotocol is feeding your mind
good information?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Yeah, I think, I think that's valuable, but I
think there's something better,which is coming up with a rhythm
, like, for example, when I goto the gym, you know, in the
morning, I get up at 345 amevery morning and I go to the
gym early and start my day earlyand I have my, I have a rhythm.
So I'll have, I'll practice,you know, you know, prayer or
(33:25):
meditation in the morning.
I'll read something reallyuplifting in the morning even
before I go to the gym, and soI'm I'm actually like giving my
myself things to chew on orthings to think about, and then,
uh, and then by set, by 5.00 AM, I'm at the gym.
And then I have a few otherprotocols that I do at the gym.
(33:46):
For example, I'll quote mypersonal philosophy at the gym
and I'll make three declarationsevery day at the gym before I
get on the elliptical.
And so I, when I come home,I'll spend some what I call blue
sky time, and that's just atime for me to dream, and I'm a
visionary.
So I need, I need time to, Ineed time set aside to vision
cast for my own life, and soI'll, I'll dream for 15 minutes
(34:08):
and then the next 15 minutes,I'll try to put into practice
the thing I just dreamt about.
So what action step can I taketo put my dreams into practice?
So, right there, by by 7am or8am, I've actually completed
five of my seven things.
And you might be asking whyfive or seven?
Well, because I want to winevery day.
(34:28):
And so let's say I have fivethings on my list that I want to
do every day to put me in thebest position to succeed.
Well, if I only do two of thembut I don't do the other three,
I get an L for that day.
But if I do three or more thanI won that day and I and on the
calendar that day gets a W.
And what I want to do is createwinning streaks where every day
(34:49):
I'm winning.
And, by the way, these are allthings I can control.
They don't anything on theexterior is not necessary.
I get to control whether I havea quiet time or not.
So it's fully within my controlto accomplish that task.
So I just think if I'm in astack, if I want a good day, I
can stack my day with aces toput me in the best position to
(35:10):
succeed.
I can't control an outcome but,man, I can put myself in the
best position, and in sports,whether it's basketball or
football, you just have to be inposition.
And I think in the same way, ifwe can take care of ourselves,
then we can put ourself in thebest position to succeed.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, so it sounds like it's customizable to
everybody.
Exactly, you have to find yourown rhythm that puts you in the
best position to have the bestday possible, the day we perform
at your best, exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I call it win the day .
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, and you win that before in the morning.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Before 8am I'm pretty much done.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yeah, you win that before you get all these core
habits done before 8.
And you feel good and youliterally win the day before 8,
which makes you feel great itdoes.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
It does, and what's interesting about that is I
don't actually have to feelmotivated to do them.
If I just mechanically do thosethings, whether I feel like it
or not, I actually have a farbetter day, like I'm okay.
I don't need to be motivated tobe a high performer, I just am
because of the rhythms that Iset up in my life.
I like to call them rhythmsbecause I think some people have
(36:24):
a visceral negative reaction todisciplines or habits.
Well, just use the word rhythmsLike what rhythms do you want
to create in your day that putsyou in the best position to
succeed?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
yeah, 100, and then also too, um, like you said,
what it does is, it actuallycreates this belief about
yourself.
You already said you kind ofsaid it like I don't need to
feel motivated, it's just who Iam because you've done it so
much.
Now it's a belief of yours that, hey, this is what I do, this
is just what I do.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
That's exactly right.
You got it 100% correct, and sowhat I'd like to tell people is
I like to create hard-to-beatathletes Because even on their
worst days, they're hard to beat.
Why?
Because they don't need to feelmotivated to be really, really,
really good at what they do.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, 100%, 100% I love it.
Well, Gary, before we go, Iwant to give you a little, a
quick moment of where can folksfind you, when can they get in
touch with you and learn alittle bit more about your
journey and continue to followthe journey that you're on?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Well, I appreciate that Most of my clients are on
Instagram, and so people canfind me on Instagram at elite
mindset, and just look for theblue verification dot and people
will see me there.
And then I want to give a giftto your audience.
I created what I think is themost thorough mental performance
assessment on the internet and,trust me, I'm a research nerd,
(37:51):
I know what's out there.
I think this is the best thingon the internet and, trust me,
I'm a research nerd, I knowwhat's out there.
I think this is the best thingon the internet.
So people can go to elitemindset assessment.
So it's elite mindsetassessmentcom.
And if they put in the discountcode in all caps elite E, l, I
T E and the number 100, they cantake the assessment for free.
So it's Elite 100, and they cantake it for free.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Elite 100, okay, I think I'm on it right now, so
I'll make sure I put this in thefootnotes, make sure I put that
promo code in there as well,and folks can take this
assessment.
The dementia conditioning worldis so interesting to me and I
feel like it's only going togrow, uh, with so much going on.
(38:35):
You got the world of AI.
It's a lot, and so even the twoyou know the two working
together.
You know, I don't know whatthat's going to look like, who
knows right, but I know.
Um, the, the mental conditioningpiece, is a piece where I feel
like it's starting to gainmomentum.
It has over the last, I wouldsay, five to 10 years where
(38:57):
people can not just, like yousaid, feel good in the moment,
but how can we actually thrive,how can we actually meet our
highest selves with our mind?
And so you hit it right on thehead and I want to make sure
that we recap.
This is that find a rhythm thatmakes you feel amazing about
(39:19):
yourself and live your best dayover and over again, to live
your best life, and then, overtime, you'll start to create an
amazing belief system aboutyourself.
So you hit it right ahead andI'm excited to really dive into
my own life and really create arhythm and a protocol for myself
(39:41):
to make sure that I'm winning aday every day.
You know, maybe it's not at3.30 am, but it is going to be
early, right, and so no, Iappreciate all the value that
you share on the show.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Yeah, well, thanks for having me and yeah, all my
best to you and, you know, gowin the day.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I love it.
I love it.
Thanks, gary.
All right, welcome to another episode of Playing
Injured.
We have Mr Gary Kupik, who isan international speaker, writer
, professional member of theAssociation of Applied Sports
Psychology, and he's a certifiedprofessional leadership coach
through the ICF and ordainedminister of 28 years, which is
(00:22):
amazing.
So, gary, you work withprofessional sports teams, some
of the biggest companies in theworld.
We appreciate you coming on theshow.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
I'm excited about this.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Yes, I love it.
So I love starting the showwith who is Gary and how does he
spend his time today.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
Yeah, well, my name is Gary Chupik, from Seattle
Washington, and I'm a mentalperformance coach.
I unlock performance inhigh-performing athletes and
teams and, believe it or not,I'm more and more with
businesses than I ever thoughtthat I ever would.
And what does my life look liketoday?
It's just traveling aroundNorth America teaching mental
(01:02):
performance and leadership tobusinesses FBI, thrivant, keller
Williams, google just yeah, Ihad the privilege of speaking on
some incredible stages and I'mjust grateful for the
opportunity to spend some timewith you.
Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So I really want to get right into it, because I've
got a chance to listen to otherpodcasts that you've been on.
Look at some of the content onyour Instagram, and one of the
things that really stuck out tome that I think has resonated in
my life recently was how yousaid that things that hold the
(01:40):
athletes that you work with backpeople that you work with in
business back, is that theythink too much.
Right, they think too much andme right.
I think I'm a really smart guy.
I've read a lot of books.
I've been able to speak with alot of amazing people.
One problem that I have, orchallenge, is that I tend to
(02:02):
overthink and think too much,and I remember in sport, right
when I played basketball growingup, we used to hear don't think
, just do, just act right.
So I would love to hear fromyou what causes people to think
too much and what can folksstart to do to kind of shut
(02:23):
those thoughts down, or is iteven?
Is that even what we could do?
I would love to hear kind ofthe remedy of thinking too much.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Yeah, it's really interesting.
I played high school footballin Canada.
I know that doesn't count inAmerica too much, but I played a
little bit of high schoolfootball.
And I'll never forget my headcoach, who ended up coaching
professionally.
But I remember one day hegrabbed me by the helmet and he
said Chupik, what are you doing?
And I said well, I thought.
And he said I never asked youto think.
(02:54):
Not one time did I ask you tothink.
I just wanted you to do this.
And it was like that was likemy baptism into the combination
or synchronization of thoughtsand actions.
So I've never forgotten thatlittle fun, little experience
with him.
But it's really true, I thinkwhen we think too much, it just
sort of slows us down.
(03:14):
We get kind of stuck inparalysis about you know, you
know, and then, in fact, even inthis day and age, with all the
analytics that are out there, wejust take in so much
information where it becomesdetrimental to us.
And so to find ways to learnthe essential things and just
focus on what we need to focuson, I think that that like
(03:35):
figuring out that ratio is soimportant, because we really do
need to play instinctually, nomatter what sport we're playing,
so if we're not, if we'rethinking too much, we're just
not playing instinct're not?
If we're thinking too much,we're just not playing instinct
instinctually.
And if we're thinking too much,it causes us to hesitate and,
as you well know, hesitation insports is the difference between
winning and losing.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah, yeah, see, when I'm thinking about this, I
always feel like this is a greatanalogy.
Or I feel like people canvisualize this you go into a
networking event, right, andyou're by yourself.
Or you go to a party, or you goto anything by yourself, and
you know that you need to engagewith people.
(04:14):
I feel like that's when yourmind is the loudest right, which
is why most folks go to the barto go grab a drink really quick
, right.
Or they try to find something,or maybe a group of people.
It's a lot of analyzing and alot really quick, right.
Or they try to find something,or maybe a group of people.
It's a lot of analyzing and alot of thinking, right.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah, in fact, I was just studying this recently.
So every Monday morning I do aMonday morning mindset and
people can sign up on my website, elitemindsetnationcom, so they
can get a free Monday morningmindset from me.
So I was just working on onethis morning for the month of
August and I was studying SteveJobs and what he called the
signal to noise ratio.
(04:53):
In other words, the signal isthe most powerful thing that we
need to receive, but there'sdistortion, there's noise all
around us, and so what he wasreally challenging us to do is
to operate our businesses justfocusing on the signal and not
the noise.
So, in other words, if we canget to that 80, 20 percentage or
ratio which is the Paretoprinciple right, like 20% of the
(05:16):
people do 80 or 80% of the 20%of the people do 80% of the work
Then if we can just sort offigure out, okay, what's the 20%
of the most important thingsthat I do on a daily basis will
give me 80% of the work, then ifwe can just sort of figure out,
okay, what's the 20% of themost important things that I do
on a daily basis will give me80% of the results I'm looking
for.
So it's like taking those 10things that we think we need to
do and just doing the two thatwe know that are essential to
the success of our business.
So, yeah, it's, it's.
(05:38):
You know, filtering out all thedistractions and the too many
thoughts is really interesting,and, in fact, what Steve Jobs
says is that we shouldn't focuson what to say yes to.
It's actually what to say no to, and so if we can just sort of
learn how to say no often enough, then it'll allow us to focus
on the no's.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
Focus on the no's yeah, so you're saying is can we
organize our?
Can we focus on the things thatreally matter in the moment,
Not all the external, maybethoughts that might come your
way?
Speaker 2 (06:15):
Yeah, and the other thing too is, I think the way I
like to describe thoughts arelike calories, and so if you
have too many thoughts, it'slike having too many calories.
If you have too many calories,it just kind of weighs you down
and you feel lethargic.
And if you have too manythoughts, it's like having too
many calories.
If you have too many calories,it just kind of weighs you down
and you feel lethargic.
And if you have too manythoughts, well, it's kind of the
same way, right, you get youkind of slow down, you hesitate
and you get lethargic and all ofa sudden your thoughts aren't
helping you, they're hurting you.
(06:35):
Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
So when I'm thinking, and even with myself, what I've
practiced is that I don't haveto listen to every thought,
right, I don't have to.
I think about a thought as,like me getting a text message
that I don't have to respond to,right, I can just, I can just
let that.
I don't have to respond to amessage, right, I can just let
(06:59):
it go.
And so when it comes tothinking and overthinking that's
a challenge that I've seen alsotoo Right, I think with that
comes self-trust, right, I feellike we probably think a lot in
moments where we don't believethat we maybe add up or are
worthy for the moment.
Right, because when we do feelvery worthy and we feel we have
(07:24):
that self-trust, we're notreally thinking at all, we're
just, we're just doing.
How can folks start to buildthat self-trust, that
self-belief?
Um, how does that happen?
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Yeah, I mean self-trust is really interesting
.
So I've done a lot of publicspeaking in my life.
I've probably been on stage I'mnot exaggerating uhating over a
thousand times, it's probably acouple thousand, but just to be
safe let's say a thousand times.
And it was only the last couplehundred where I learned to
trust myself, consumed withsaying the right things rather
(08:05):
than just letting us be ourauthentic selves and sort of
speak authentically and andinspirationally.
And so I had to really figureout how to trust myself, and I
don't know if there's like youknow, I don't know if there's a
secret formula other than what Icall exposure therapy.
In fact, I think all fears havecome, have to come back down to
exposure therapy.
In other words, you have tolike be exposed to the thing
(08:27):
that you're afraid of.
So if it's public speaking ortaking a big shot at the end of
a game or wanting the ball inyour hands, like you, you just
got to do it.
There's no other way.
So if you are afraid of snakes,guess what you got to do
eventually.
Right, like you can't handlerubber snakes forever, like you
have to grab a snake, and Ithink in the same way, sort of
getting comfortable withyourself and learning to trust
(08:48):
yourself.
That takes a lot of courage andfor some people like me, it
took quite a while to feel thatcalm.
But there was a book that madesuch a big difference in my life
.
So one day I was watching aSeahawks game and there was a
defensive end for the Seahawkswho was really struggling with
his self-trust and hisperformance and he would really
(09:09):
beat himself up afterperformance.
And so one day Pete Carrollwent up to him in the middle of
the season in a bye week and hesaid to him here's a book I want
you to read.
Again, this is a defensive endin the NFL.
And Pete Carroll says well,here, why don't you read this
book?
It was the inner game of tennisby Tim Galloway.
So you have an NFL footballplayer reading about the inner
(09:34):
game of tennis and and I thought, you know what, if it's good
enough for this defensive end,it's good enough for me.
So I picked up the book andstarted reading it and I was
just so blown away by the truthand wisdom that I read in that
book.
I was like, wait a minute.
When I'm tense, my heart races,my blood vessels close and I
(09:54):
just don't play as limber orplay as well.
And so I thought, well, what ifI went up on stage and I was
just like super easygoing andsuper relaxed, even to the point
of just like almost?
You know, people just say, oh,you look so, so relaxed, you
look so natural.
I mean like like hardly, likeI'm so nervous about being on
stage, Like I can't believe hownervous I am.
(10:15):
But when I, when I just learnedto trust myself and be relaxed
and, you know, work on my innergame, and then it really
produced results on the exterior.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, and I mean that's that's the key right
there is that you have to.
You have to do it.
You have to create evidencethat, oh, I am okay.
Actually, it wasn't that badRight.
Yeah, yeah, Go ahead.
It sounded like you had athought.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Well.
Well, this is such a animportant subject, like in
sports or in life.
Confidence is so importantbecause I think, if you're going
to be successful at anything,you have to have a certain level
of confidence, because if youdon't, it's really hard to
succeed.
And so, as you mentionedearlier or intimated, you sort
of have to give yourself areason to believe in yourself,
(11:03):
or reasons to be optimistic.
And so I call it sort of likeyou know, the the difference
between positivity and optimism.
I'm not a big fan of positivitybecause I think positivity is
more of a feeling, but optimismis more of an outlook on life,
and and you constantly giveyourself reasons to be
optimistic.
So, to be positive, you don'thave to give yourself a reason
(11:25):
to be positive.
You can just like put a smileon your face and think you're
good at something.
You might not be, but you cansay to yourself that you are and
hope that it improves yourperformance.
However, with optimism,optimism always requires a
reason for you to be optimistic.
And so if you just worked onthe reasons, giving yourself
proof, as you said, then all ofa sudden you can lay your head
(11:46):
on your pillow at night and say,well, wait a minute, like I did
this.
I did this, I did this.
Perhaps I have a reason to feeloptimistic that I can win this
game or do whatever it is I wantto achieve, so.
So optimism is built throughreasons to give yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Yeah, one hundred percent and optimism, right.
It also, you know, I feel likeit creates those positive
emotions organically Right.
And I love how you mentioned,with positivity you mentioned
that you don't necessarily needanything.
It can be false, it can kind ofbe a false positive Right as
(12:21):
opposed to optimistic.
I may be feeling down right now, like I genuinely feel down,
but the outlook, I know, isgoing to work out in a good way.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yeah, because you've given yourself reasons to be
optimistic, even no matter howyou feel.
It doesn good at this or I'veaccomplished amazing things
already and if I've utilized myskills and talents and abilities
in this particular area, mostlikely I can transfer it to
another area, and so you becomea confident person by being
optimistic.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yeah, Wow.
And then also too I think it'sa quote that I heard is you
can't think your way into betteracting, you have to act your
way into better thinking right.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, everything happens twice right.
It happens in your mind firstand then it happens in real life
.
So your thoughts reallydetermine a lot of your actions
and behaviors.
So it's worth spending timedeveloping and strengthening
your thoughts, yeahstrengthening those thoughts.
Speaker 1 (13:27):
And then also, too, what you also mentioned was that
nervous system, the feeling too, not even just the thoughts,
because the thoughts, you know,you start to strengthen your
thoughts, it's also theseemotions that you feel, right,
you know, you get on the stageand I've been on stage before
and I'm like, oh, I'm thinking,like I feel good, my mind is
(13:49):
great, my thoughts are great, Ifeel good, but, man, my chest is
tight and man, I'm sweating andI can't stop sweating.
I'm still looking for theremedy of how can I stop
sweating in those kind of highpressurized moments.
Have you came up with asolution to, like you said, the
(14:11):
relaxation, the let me breathe,let me relax when these high
pressure moments come, or thosemoments where, you know, I'm
kind of exposing myself to, tothat fear?
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah, it's really interesting.
I was reading about Ken GriffeyJr this morning and he said the
more fun you have, the lesspressure you feel.
Isn't that interesting?
Yes, the more fun you feel likeyou're having, the less
pressure that you feel, and sohe always had a smile on his
face.
He had this million dollarsmile right and the sweetest
swing in baseball for years.
So, yeah, when you're thinkingabout pressure, I often tell my
(14:50):
clients tell yourself thatyou're excited, that you're not
nervous, and if you can justtell yourself you're excited,
you'll actually change therelease of hormones in your body
from cortisol to adrenaline,and adrenaline, we know, is a
much more helpful hormone thanit is cortisol.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Yeah, have fun.
That is a command that I'veeven told myself have fun.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
It's hard to be like, it's hard to be really anxious
and really nervous when you'rejust having fun and so, and so
our response and how weinterpret exterior stressors has
everything to do with ourthoughts.
So in one sense I say you know,if your thoughts can make you
sick which they totally can likeI mean, if you have a lot of
(15:34):
negative thoughts or anxiousthoughts, you can literally feel
like you're having a stomach,getting a stomachache or getting
a headache, but in the same wayyour thoughts can make you well
.
And so if you just focus on, uh, not just positive but
optimistic thoughts and positivethoughts and being, you know,
maybe practicing gratitude ormindfulness, you can really
(15:54):
change your physiology literally, and I think that's really
important.
So I'd like to say that we'reall chemists, right, like, we're
all like, we're all like, if wesmile at one another, it
changes each other's chemistryin our own bodies.
So, yeah, we're all sort ofchemists in one way, shape or
form.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Yeah, a few things you mentioned.
First of all, have fun.
I think that's one of the bestthings you can do when you are
in moments where you're feelingnot that great, you don't feel
like doing it, you're feelingsome type of fear.
Have fun, and if I mess up, ifthat kind of that fear happens,
it's like, oh, actually I'mstill okay, right, but have fun.
(16:34):
And I mean you don't know howspecial that advice is and it
really comes from like childhood, when we just had fun doing
anything.
I mean, when we messed up, itwas okay.
We, we cut ourselves, it wasokay, we were having fun um, but
(16:55):
also you'll appreciate this.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Um, charles barkley said pressure is what you put
into tires.
Like that's what tiresexperience, right, you could
just hear king charles sayingthat.
Right, like it was.
Like what pressure, what that'sgoes, you know, which is so
funny.
And so he was.
He was, he had a great way ofinterpreting an exterior
stressor.
So our response to externalstimuli actually determines our
(17:20):
belief system about ourselvesand our mindset.
So I like to explain it thisway it took me about six or
seven years to figure this out.
Josh, literally, I'm notkidding.
I've been thinking about thisfor about six or seven years to
figure this out.
Josh, literally, I'm notkidding.
I've been thinking about thisfor like six or seven years, but
I came up with an equation thatis magical.
It literally can teach someonehow to change their mindset
about a particular thing.
(17:41):
So here it is.
I'll give it to you for free.
Here we go.
So you have an experience whichcan happen when you're really
young, or it can happen in youradolescence, or even happen now.
So you have an experience thatyou have thoughts and feelings
about.
So you have thoughts andfeelings associated with the
experience.
Sometimes you can control yourthoughts or feelings.
Oftentimes you can't so havingthe thoughts and feelings
(18:04):
they're.
They're neutral, they're notnecessarily positive or negative
, they're just what yourthoughts and feelings are.
However, the next step isreally the crucial one, and that
is your response to anexperience and thoughts and
feelings.
So how your mind isinterpreting the experience and
your own thoughts and feelingsis, I mean, it's crucial.
(18:27):
So if you can change or alteryour response, then it'll change
.
And this is the fourth stepIt'll change your behavior,
pardon me, your belief aboutyourself.
So, you have an experience, thatyou have thoughts and feelings
about that.
You have a response to that alllead, when you put it all
together, to a belief aboutyourself.
That's how beliefs are built.
So now I have a belief aboutmyself, and if you put all of
(18:51):
that together the experience,the thought and the feelings,
your response, your belief, andnow you get a mindset.
Yeah, and so you can literallylearn to build a mindset.
But Andy McKay from the SeattleMariners he taught me this he
goes, gary, you just can't stopwith your mindset, though.
It's got to result in new andimproved behaviors and I just
(19:11):
thought that was such an amazingaddition to my equation,
because what he's saying is okay.
So you have a good mindset.
Who cares, you know?
So it's good.
But it's got to result in newand improved behaviors, which,
if you think about it, cyclesback around to a new experience.
So a behavior is like anexperience.
And so now, if you giveyourself a new and improved
(19:33):
behavior, now you're givingyourself a new and improved
experience, that you have newand improved thoughts and
feelings about that, you have anew and improved response to
that.
You have a new and improvedbelief about yourself, which
literally leads to a new andimproved mindset, and then it
just keeps cycling over and overand over again.
So that is how you actuallybuild an ironclad mindset.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
Yeah, I love that.
So can we break that down inthe example of you going on
stage, right, and so theexperience is going on stage at
first and we can talk about hey,this is what it was your first
10 speeches, right, you go onstage.
The thought and emotion wasprobably some, it's probably
some fear some nervousness there.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
Am I going to mess up ?
Am I going to screw up?
Am I going to stutter?
What am I going to say?
Am I going to miss something?
My feelings are a completedread nervousness.
The spotlight is on me,everybody's going to be
listening to every word I say.
So I have definitely havethoughts and feelings about me
being on stage.
Well, now I have.
I get to choose my response toall that.
(20:45):
So if I say no, no, no, wait aminute, I have fun up here, Are
you kidding me?
Like I, my response to all thatanxiety and my thoughts and
feelings and being on stages Ican't wait to get up.
I can't wait to get there, Ican't wait to share my heart or
my thoughts.
So I'm telling myself torespond differently to the
(21:07):
experience and the thoughts andfeelings.
So now I'm excited about beingup there.
My belief that I'm creatingabout myself, as you could well
guess, is hey, wait a minute, Ican do this right, I can do this
.
I've talked in front of peoplebefore maybe not a lot of people
, but you know I can do thisRight.
And so your belief is I can dothis.
I can do anything that I put mymind to.
And then, uh, and then the.
(21:28):
The belief about myself is like,I'm confident in myself.
And now my mindset is you knowwhat, just about anything that I
put my mind to, I can do.
And so now, if I have a new andimproved behavior associated
with that, maybe that is that.
You know, I maybe own the stagea little bit.
I might walk around on thestage, I might share a funny
(21:48):
story, I might share somethingthat's maybe transparent or
vulnerable, and so I get donewith that experience.
And now I've created a new andimproved experience, which was
hey, wait a minute, when I'mvulnerable in the stage, people
really respond positively.
Now I have thoughts andfeelings about that, I have a
response to that, I have createda belief about that and I've
(22:12):
created a new mindset.
So, yeah, it works.
It works with so many things.
Just thinking that through.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
I think and I think the first thing is is first
noticing and actually observingthe thoughts and the emotions
that you feel with certainexperiences right?
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Oh, very much so.
Like, if you can and this iswhat I really love to do with my
clients I'll say, like you know, because oftentimes they're
negative experiences, and timegoes by, we grow, and so I tell
people listen, what if you couldbe the invisible person, right,
and you go back to thatnegative experience?
What would your present selfsay to your former self in that
(22:54):
situation?
And like, what would you?
What would you whisper in yourown ear?
You might whisper hey man,you're going to be on like
hundreds and thousands of stagesin the future.
Just relax, go have a good time.
You know this is, you're justcutting your teeth.
Go like, go be vulnerable, like, just so you might actually
coach yourself into an improvedresponse and an improved belief
(23:17):
about yourself and improvemindset.
Yeah, 100.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
I love, first of all, that for you to break it down
is because and we all have theseexperiences, and a lot of times
the challenging ones are thenegative experiences, right, and
those feelings and emotionsthat we have.
You know, you know I talk aboutnervousness, things that might
make us angry, things that mightmake us emotional, right, and
(23:44):
you talked about gratitude andmindfulness, about gratitude and
mindfulness, and I feel likethose are some practices that
can help with that response tothose emotions and thoughts that
we feel.
Especially gratitude anytime Ipractice gratitude, I
automatically start to feelreally good because I'm focused
(24:06):
on the good, my attention isgoing towards good things in my
life currently, today, right,and it makes me feel good.
And then the mindfulness pieceright, the ability to kind of
observe those thoughts and letthem flow, right for you, how do
you practice gratitude,mindfulness and and how does
(24:27):
that help you with the responseto those, maybe, thoughts and
emotions that you might feelwith a certain experience that
you have?
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Yeah, I think it was Dr Andrew Huberman that talked
about how many people who aresort of stuck in depression have
such a strong sense of theirself-consciousness, like they're
analyzing everything, they say,everything, they think.
They're just like they're stuckin analyzation and, and so when
(25:00):
you get sort of you feeltrapped right, like you, you're
almost like stuck in a prison ofyour own thoughts.
And so I do something calledthinking on the outside, like
keep your thoughts on theoutside of yourself so that you
don't get consumed with everyword and every movement yourself
or somebody else is making.
So I think it's a skill to sortof keep your thoughts outside
(25:23):
of yourself, so stay focused onexternal things, not necessarily
on internal things.
Be aware of them.
Like your feelings are likesheep, like they're going to
wander Right, and then our jobis to build a fence around the
sheep, the herd, and make surethat they're slightly contained,
at least a little bit, and, andI think, to notice your
(25:44):
thoughts when they startwandering.
Sometimes you just got to bringthem back inside the fence
gently and acknowledge them, butyou certainly don't want to
dwell on them.
So I think a great analogy forme when it comes to thoughts is
is driving in a car, so you wantto make sure that you're
driving forward and lookingthrough the windshield because
it's future oriented.
(26:04):
So you know you're sitting inyour car and you want to be
looking forward.
Now, if you're constantlylooking backwards, you're going
to crash your car because youwant to be looking forward.
Now, if you're constantlylooking backwards, you're going
to crash your car because you'relooking in the rear view mirror
and so you tend to.
You know, steer to the right orsteer to the left, and the side
view mirrors are there for youto glance at.
They're there for you to noticethings and what's at your side
(26:26):
in the present moment.
But I think looking through thewindshield is one of the most
healthiest things that wecontinue to get over some of the
discouragement or setbacks ordepression that we might be
experiencing.
So sort of that forwardthinking and growth mindset can
be really valuable, especiallywhen we're struggling.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, 100%.
So even before, so, before wehit records, you talked about
mental health.
Versus that mental performanceand what you just mentioned, now
it feels more of that mentalhealth piece, right, that, hey,
how can we start to look at thebig picture right, the
(27:05):
windshield right?
Speaker 2 (27:06):
Yeah, I think it's really interesting when it comes
to mental health.
I remember walking in the innersanctum of a professional
sports football team and I waswalking with the coach through
the facilities and we passed thetraining room and guys are
getting bandaged up and gettingiced up and they're getting
(27:27):
cared for.
And we go from the trainingroom to the gym and guys are
pumping iron.
You can just hear that sort ofthe clank and clink of weights
and guys are grunting andthrowing down weights and that
kind of thing.
And I looked at the coach and Isaid, coach, this is what I do.
So there are people thatspecialize in some of the mental
(27:47):
health issues and I have someexperience with that.
But I'm really here really tomake people's minds stronger and
I think mental health stops toooften at solving the problems
of crisis and coping, but itdoesn't go far enough.
It doesn't give people enoughtools to be able to thrive and
transcend their presentexperience.
And I don't know about you, butit's hard to win games, playing
(28:11):
defense all the time, and Ithink a lot of mental health is
about playing that defense.
And you know, practicinggratitude, which is great,
practicing mindfulness, which isawesome, but it just doesn't go
far enough, and so I want tochallenge people to act, to get
much more resilient andstrengthen their mind, because
it's one of the three thingsthat you can train you can train
(28:32):
your craft, you can train yourbody and you can train your mind
and we just don't spend enoughtime training our mind well,
walk us through that with it,because I think a lot of people
go to the gym.
Speaker 1 (28:40):
Well, you know, people go to the gym.
Right, we are training our body, but our mind I think we don't
spend as much time with when,like you said, hey, that's what
can make you sick or help youthrive, right?
So what does that look like tostrengthen your mind, to perform
(29:01):
better and actually thrive, asopposed to, you know, make sure
you're at baseline right.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
Yeah, it's such a good question because when you
think about a pro athlete let'stake football, for example and
let's say a pro athlete gets upat 6, 30 AM, he, you know, he
gets to the facility by nine andthen they have a walk through
and then they have a full teampractice and then they have
(29:30):
lunch, and then they havepositional meetings and then
they have a full practice againand then they go home and it's
what do they do the next day?
It's the same thing.
They just rinse and repeat.
And I think that rhythm andconsistency is just crucial to
success.
If you want to be good atanything, you got to put in the
(29:50):
reps.
Just crucial to success.
If you want to be good atanything, you got to put in the
reps.
So these guys are literallybuilding in a rhythm of
performance into their life thatallows them to perform at the
highest levels in their craft.
So, in the same way, what if wejust transferred those same
principles to our mentalperformance?
And so if we woke up today,well, think of like a computer,
that is, let's say, you get toinstall programs onto your hard
(30:14):
drive.
Well, what programs are youinstalling into your hard drive?
Or onto your hard drive everysingle morning.
It's the same thing.
And what if you could?
What if you noticed that therewere certain programs that you
could upload or install intoyour mind or boot up into your
mind every single day?
That puts you in the bestposition to succeed that day.
(30:34):
And so you might find thatthere are a consistent five, six
or seven things that allow youto perform at your very best on
a daily basis.
Well, what would happen if youjust repeated those things and
you created a rhythm of highperformance in your life by
doing these five or seven thingsLike, for example, you know,
getting seven hours of sleep ormore?
(30:55):
So that would be.
That would put you in the bestposition to succeed every day,
as opposed to getting four orfive hours.
So what if?
What if going to sleep on timewas one of the most important
performance enhancing thingsthat you can possibly do?
Well, you would make that apriority, because it affects
your emotional regulation, itaffects your decision-making, it
(31:15):
affects your confidence, itaffects what you eat, it affects
your relationships and how youtalk, it affects your self-talk.
So I mean, there's so manyvaluable things.
So what if you could stack yourdeck with aces every single day
and create those rhythms, likea football player going to the
facility and doing his dailyrhythms so that he can be the
(31:37):
best that he can be.
Or what if we just did thatwith our mind?
So what if we had a mentalprotocol that puts us in the
best position to succeed?
And that's what I want tocommunicate to people.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
Yeah, yeah, you even talked about earlier you talked
about the example of buildinglike a fence around that force
field around your mental picture, right, to keep you thinking in
that kind of that optimisticformat, right.
(32:10):
So that protocol, right, here'swhat I'm thinking about in my
mind.
I'm thinking about listening topositive things or things that
helped me grow, right Podcasts,audio books, things of that
nature, right, thinking aboutreading books.
I can tell that you read a lot,right.
(32:30):
I'm thinking about the people Ispend time around.
The information basically thatI'm getting is so easy to scroll
and have that mindless contentof that negative banter and
things.
That information is put into mymind that wasn't even there and
(32:51):
now my mind is spiraling withall these negative thoughts,
right, and so is that prettymuch what you're talking about
when you talk about thatprotocol is feeding your mind
good information?
Speaker 2 (33:03):
Yeah, I think, I think that's valuable, but I
think there's something better,which is coming up with a rhythm
, like, for example, when I goto the gym, you know, in the
morning, I get up at 345 amevery morning and I go to the
gym early and start my day earlyand I have my, I have a rhythm.
So I'll have, I'll practice,you know, you know, prayer or
(33:25):
meditation in the morning.
I'll read something reallyuplifting in the morning even
before I go to the gym, and soI'm I'm actually like giving my
myself things to chew on orthings to think about, and then,
uh, and then by set, by 5.00 AM, I'm at the gym.
And then I have a few otherprotocols that I do at the gym.
(33:46):
For example, I'll quote mypersonal philosophy at the gym
and I'll make three declarationsevery day at the gym before I
get on the elliptical.
And so I, when I come home,I'll spend some what I call blue
sky time, and that's just atime for me to dream, and I'm a
visionary.
So I need, I need time to, Ineed time set aside to vision
cast for my own life, and soI'll, I'll dream for 15 minutes
(34:08):
and then the next 15 minutes,I'll try to put into practice
the thing I just dreamt about.
So what action step can I taketo put my dreams into practice?
So, right there, by by 7am or8am, I've actually completed
five of my seven things.
And you might be asking whyfive or seven?
Well, because I want to winevery day.
(34:28):
And so let's say I have fivethings on my list that I want to
do every day to put me in thebest position to succeed.
Well, if I only do two of thembut I don't do the other three,
I get an L for that day.
But if I do three or more thanI won that day and I and on the
calendar that day gets a W.
And what I want to do is createwinning streaks where every day
(34:49):
I'm winning.
And, by the way, these are allthings I can control.
They don't anything on theexterior is not necessary.
I get to control whether I havea quiet time or not.
So it's fully within my controlto accomplish that task.
So I just think if I'm in astack, if I want a good day, I
can stack my day with aces toput me in the best position to
(35:10):
succeed.
I can't control an outcome but,man, I can put myself in the
best position, and in sports,whether it's basketball or
football, you just have to be inposition.
And I think in the same way, ifwe can take care of ourselves,
then we can put ourself in thebest position to succeed.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Yeah, so it sounds like it's customizable to
everybody.
Exactly, you have to find yourown rhythm that puts you in the
best position to have the bestday possible, the day we perform
at your best, exactly.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
I call it win the day .
Speaker 1 (35:42):
Yeah, and you win that before in the morning.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
Before 8am I'm pretty much done.
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yeah, you win that before you get all these core
habits done before 8.
And you feel good and youliterally win the day before 8,
which makes you feel great itdoes.
Speaker 2 (36:02):
It does, and what's interesting about that is I
don't actually have to feelmotivated to do them.
If I just mechanically do thosethings, whether I feel like it
or not, I actually have a farbetter day, like I'm okay.
I don't need to be motivated tobe a high performer, I just am
because of the rhythms that Iset up in my life.
I like to call them rhythmsbecause I think some people have
(36:24):
a visceral negative reaction todisciplines or habits.
Well, just use the word rhythmsLike what rhythms do you want
to create in your day that putsyou in the best position to
succeed?
Speaker 1 (36:33):
yeah, 100, and then also too, um, like you said,
what it does is, it actuallycreates this belief about
yourself.
You already said you kind ofsaid it like I don't need to
feel motivated, it's just who Iam because you've done it so
much.
Now it's a belief of yours that, hey, this is what I do, this
is just what I do.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
That's exactly right.
You got it 100% correct, and sowhat I'd like to tell people is
I like to create hard-to-beatathletes Because even on their
worst days, they're hard to beat.
Why?
Because they don't need to feelmotivated to be really, really,
really good at what they do.
Speaker 1 (37:10):
Yeah, 100%, 100% I love it.
Well, Gary, before we go, Iwant to give you a little, a
quick moment of where can folksfind you, when can they get in
touch with you and learn alittle bit more about your
journey and continue to followthe journey that you're on?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Well, I appreciate that Most of my clients are on
Instagram, and so people canfind me on Instagram at elite
mindset, and just look for theblue verification dot and people
will see me there.
And then I want to give a giftto your audience.
I created what I think is themost thorough mental performance
assessment on the internet and,trust me, I'm a research nerd,
(37:51):
I know what's out there.
I think this is the best thingon the internet and, trust me,
I'm a research nerd, I knowwhat's out there.
I think this is the best thingon the internet.
So people can go to elitemindset assessment.
So it's elite mindsetassessmentcom.
And if they put in the discountcode in all caps elite E, l, I
T E and the number 100, they cantake the assessment for free.
So it's Elite 100, and they cantake it for free.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Elite 100, okay, I think I'm on it right now, so
I'll make sure I put this in thefootnotes, make sure I put that
promo code in there as well,and folks can take this
assessment.
The dementia conditioning worldis so interesting to me and I
feel like it's only going togrow, uh, with so much going on.
(38:35):
You got the world of AI.
It's a lot, and so even the twoyou know the two working
together.
You know, I don't know whatthat's going to look like, who
knows right, but I know.
Um, the, the mental conditioningpiece, is a piece where I feel
like it's starting to gainmomentum.
It has over the last, I wouldsay, five to 10 years where
(38:57):
people can not just, like yousaid, feel good in the moment,
but how can we actually thrive,how can we actually meet our
highest selves with our mind?
And so you hit it right on thehead and I want to make sure
that we recap.
This is that find a rhythm thatmakes you feel amazing about
(39:19):
yourself and live your best dayover and over again, to live
your best life, and then, overtime, you'll start to create an
amazing belief system aboutyourself.
So you hit it right ahead andI'm excited to really dive into
my own life and really create arhythm and a protocol for myself
(39:41):
to make sure that I'm winning aday every day.
You know, maybe it's not at3.30 am, but it is going to be
early, right, and so no, Iappreciate all the value that
you share on the show.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Yeah, well, thanks for having me and yeah, all my
best to you and, you know, gowin the day.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
I love it.
I love it.
Thanks, gary.
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