February 24, 2025 • 58 mins
Samantha Harte shares her transformative journey from identity crisis and addiction to embracing authenticity and self-forgiveness. Through personal stories, she explores the power of action and healing in overcoming cultural conditioning and inner criticism.
• Discussing identity and societal expectations
• The impact of addiction on personal growth
• Turning pain into purpose through life experiences
• Courage as action rather than absence of fear
• The journey to self-forgiveness and compassion
• Embracing uncertainty and listening to intuition
• The importance of vulnerability in healing
• Creating a life aligned with true self
You can find Samantha Harte on social media as Dr. Samantha Harte and explore her insights further!
Follow Playing Injured on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/playinginjured/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to another episode of Playing Injured.
We have a very special guest,samantha Hart.
She is the founder of StrongHeart Fitness, best-selling
author of her book Breaking theCircuit, and a speaker and life
coach.
Samantha, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello Josh.
Thank you for having me.
I'm very excited to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm excited as well.
So obviously I put some titleson you.
But kind of going through allof your social media, going
through other podcasts thatyou've been on, you have so many
different facets to who you are.
How would you describe who youare Right?
Who is Samantha Hart?
How does she spend her time?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
who?
You are right.
Who is Samantha Hart?
How does she spend her time?
It's funny.
I spent so much of last yearfrom a business perspective
trying to figure out the answerto that question, and even the
way you introduced me is such apivot from the way I have been
(01:07):
identifying myself, if you will,as a professional for over a
decade.
So there's a shattering, if youwill, of decades of growing up
in a house where getting yourdegree equals your worthiness
(01:30):
and finally having doctor infront of my name and being able
to lead with that.
And then not that I'm not stilla doctor of physical therapy,
and not that that work does notbleed into life coaching,
because of course it does.
If you're coaching somebody whowants to improve the quality of
their life, movement is a partof that, and if it isn't, it
(01:53):
should be, and I have anexpertise.
But to dismantle my identityfrom doctor of physical therapy
such that I got comfortablesaying speaker, life coach,
author, founder, and and youknow funny that when we say
(02:27):
hello and we introduce ourselves, we're introducing ourselves
based on what we do.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
As opposed to who we are.
So you asked me who I am.
I am a sober woman.
I am a mother trying to figureit out.
I am a soul seeker.
I am a thought leader.
I am a cycle breaker.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That's deep.
Yeah, that's deep.
Talk to me about that, becauseyou just talked about breaking a
whole cycle last year.
Right, yeah, being a doctor,education was big in family and
your family.
Right, being a doctor, I'm sureit was a big accomplishment.
(03:21):
I'm sure when you got it, Idon't know how you felt, did it
feel?
How you thought it would feel?
You know, all these things thatare external, that we feel like
will make us feel better if weobtain it right, instead of kind
of the internal work ofunderstanding who we are and
(03:41):
what is unique for us, who arewe and what path should we take
in life?
Right, how did you break thatcycle?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Well, wanting to be in entertainment as a young girl
, but growing up in a housewhere my mother's word ruled and
what she felt we should bedoing with our lives is the
cookie cutter culturalconditioning that is bestowed
(04:15):
upon us in capitalist society,which is you get the degree, you
get the boyfriend and thehusband, the house and the car
and the kids, and it's asurefire way to a stable life.
So I will say, because Idabbled in the arts at the same
(04:37):
time as I dabbled in drugs andalcohol, which quickly became a
cocaine addiction that almostkilled me, School felt so safe
and when I went to physicaltherapy school it did feel like
the truest thing to me at thetime.
If I were to go into academia,the truest thing was singing and
(05:00):
dancing.
That I knew.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
But second to that, it felt like a really good fit.
So when I graduated, I was soproud.
I was so, so proud.
And then I was met with thereality of the healthcare
climate and how broken it is,and I was watching PTs treat
(05:24):
four or five patients at a time,not make anybody better and
also not make any money at allcompared to the debt that we're
in from graduate school, and Iwas like, no, this is not, this
is not it.
So I quickly set on a path,within a few years of working
for someone else, to start myown practice and for a long time
(05:49):
it was this cash-based wholebody, whole person practice
where a lot of people would findme after they went to
traditional therapy and paidtheir $30 copay and got 60%
better.
And they were like I want toget a hundred percent better.
And as somebody who grew uploving to dance, thinking about
(06:11):
wanting to be the veryembarrassing grandmother at 95,
who's literally dropping it likeit's hot and wanting to know
who that person was going to bethat was going to keep my body
conditioned to do those things,I was like I'm that person for
you.
I am going to be the person whogets you from 60 to a hundred
percent and I was able to createa business because I was
(06:35):
filling a need that wasn't beingmet.
And if it was being met, it wasbeing met by trainers and
Pilates instructors and yogateachers, but I had a doctorate.
So it was an easy sell to sayto someone you know what.
You could go to Equinox and pay$1,500 for a 12 pack of
sessions with a personal trainerwho got their certification in
three weeks or three months atbest, or you could pay me, and I
(07:00):
would find out the rates thatwere comparable, and charge a
similar amount, which wassignificantly higher than what I
was making working for someoneelse, which, by the way, was $33
an hour for three yearsstraight, with no raise as a
doctor.
And at the same time as I wasbuilding this business and
(07:22):
identifying as Dr Hart, I wasgathering time in sobriety.
I was living through somereally hard shit and going into
these 12-step rooms and hearingstories of overcoming adversity
(07:43):
and resilience and grit.
And then I'd come back out intomy clinic with these ordinary
folks, many of whom were highnet worth, and I was noticing
their own emotional cycles ofdysfunction not at all a heroin
or cocaine addiction, but anaddiction to work, or
(08:09):
self-denial, or self-pity, orthinness, and I thought this is
soul sickness and I want totreat this.
But that's not what they paidme for and it bothered me.
(08:30):
It bothered me and and becauseI was a practitioner that spent
an entire hour with people,which was which is still unheard
of to this day to get an hourof a doctor's time unless you're
paying for it I was able, to acertain extent, to meet the
person where they were atemotionally, because I had to do
(08:53):
something about the thing thatwas going to get in the way of
me curing their knee pain and,at the same time, it wasn't
completely in the scope of mypractice.
So there was like an itchinside of me that I couldn't
(09:14):
scratch and I would dream aboutgoing back to school to get a
psychology degree.
And then I thought, oh God, I'mnot doing this again.
You know I mean no way.
No way, the debt and the timecommitment, and but that I was.
You know that's how much of anurge I had to treat the soul
side of health and wellness.
(09:37):
And then, on March 13th of 2022,I lost my sister to a drug
overdose and it was full stop.
I am no longer Dr Hart, everagain in this world.
I am no longer just a personwho is an expert at the body,
(10:01):
and whatever I do next andwherever I go next, I'm bringing
all of me and everything I'velearned from the spiritual side.
I spent all this money and Ispent all this time getting this
(10:29):
degree and building a practicein Santa Monica, by the way that
was successful for 10 years,very hard to do, and now I'm
walking away from it identitycollapse and building something
new.
But what I really mean by cyclebreaker and what I really want
(10:51):
people to know when we say youknow who we are, no matter how
big my dreams are.
I want to speak on stages.
I want to sell out stadiums.
I want to be the girl who12-stepped the world.
I want to cast the widest neton who I can help.
That's amazing, but ifeverything ended today and my
(11:19):
life was cut short, I still didthe hardest and bravest thing
that I could ever do with mylife, which is break the cycle
of addiction, mental illness andchronic emotional cycles of
dysfunction that has run in myancestral heritage for centuries
(11:42):
, and I cannot think ofsomething better to have done
with my life than that.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, 100%, breaking a cycle.
That was learned right.
And then also, too, you get,you know, examples of past
generations before you whichcreate some type of beliefs
about you, about yourself,things you might have in you
(12:14):
interpret it.
That happened, but you saw it adifferent way or you perceived
it a different way aboutyourself, right?
And so I actually you know, Iwas going through kind of your
Instagram and when you saidcourage, bravery, right, I think
about action, I think aboutactually taking a step, right.
(12:34):
And you said a quote and you'llyou'll remember this when I say
it you said you cannot thinkyour way into better acting, you
have to act your way intobetter thinking, right, so many
folks especially when they'rehaving addiction or they have
these beliefs we spend so muchtime thinking about getting
(12:57):
better.
Oh, as soon as I move here,then I'll get better.
When I get that new job, thenI'll get better.
When I get this gym membership,then I'll get better.
We think about getting better,we think about growing ourselves
, as opposed to just puttingaction behind it, which takes
courage, which takes bravery.
It is scary, right.
(13:18):
So when you talked aboutbravery, you talked about
courage.
That was like the first thingthat came up in my mind is
putting action behind it.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, and it's, it's.
I love having theseconversations because, well,
first of all, I'm going to nerdout because, on a brain level,
any, any conversation you gointo your brain is literally
going to be different at the endof it.
I don't know what you're goingto ask me and what you're going
to say in response to what I say.
And then it makes me thinkabout what's what is coming up
(13:56):
for me while he's talking, notsuch that I'm plotting out my
answer.
That's what I used to do when Iwas so anxious and it was all
about me and what I was going tosay.
Now, when I speak, it's aboutwho I can help.
It's not about me, it's aboutyou, it's about your listener.
It's so cool to dynamicallychange and push our brain from a
(14:19):
neural network perspective.
And when I hear you say that, Ithink back to how I became
brave.
If bravery is taking action, ifthat's one version of being
brave, then what is required toget out of the thinking mind and
(14:42):
into action Because again, wecan say it but what is required
to act?
And, spiritually speaking, Iwas absolutely stuck under a
pattern of living which was if Ican just control things outside
(15:07):
of me?
Back to what you said at thebeginning of this talk, then
I'll be okay.
And I learned that it was deeplyingrained and I tried it well
into recovery because I had alot of evidence that that worked
until it didn't.
And so my marriage startedfalling apart.
And then, when I tried tocontrol him and I was sure that
(15:29):
if I said or did the right thinghe would forgive me for all the
times I cheated before we gotengaged and married that if we
went to therapy and we both did12 step programs, that our
marriage would be okay.
I was so sure because when Iwanted to go get a doctorate, I
did X, y and Z.
And then I so sure because whenI wanted to go get a doctorate,
I did X, y and Z and then I gotthe degree.
When I wanted to get the job, Iapplied and I had my interviews
(15:50):
and then I got the job.
When I wanted to find anapartment in New York city, I I
got into you know, a bartendingjob and made the cash and got
the.
I could do all of these things,watch me go.
And then it didn't work.
And when I slept on couches formonths and months and months
(16:13):
and hit spiritual rock bottomwhere a girlfriend in recovery
was like if you're not ready toleave this marriage, you can't
live like this.
And I signed a lease at 30years old in this marital
separation.
Just bankrupt five years,physically sober, spiritually
bankrupt, this woman came intomy life and said what if we do
(16:36):
the steps on your marriage?
Because the thing is, the onlyaction I was taking up until
this time in my life was whatcan I say or do to make this
person love me again so that Iam okay?
That was the only action Icould take.
The idea of taking a differentkind of action it was
(16:58):
unimaginable to me because I wasrunning on a program that my
nervous system had used, andused very well, to survive a
very tumultuous growing up, andI didn't know any other thing to
do besides take action in thatway.
So that's the other thing,right, like bravery and action
taking.
(17:18):
We're only going to be able todo what we've been exposed to
doing and what we're hardwiredto do, and it's going to work
until it doesn't.
And then when it doesn't.
So if you have a pain point inyour life, whether it's like
everything's good but romance,romance is killing I can't find
(17:39):
the person.
I'm doing all the things I'mtrying to manifest my partner.
I'm doing all the things I'mtrying to manifest my partner.
Then there is some patternaround relationships that you
have been in that's probablybeen very unconscious, that
isn't working anymore.
It's causing now more pain,more harm than it is helping you
(17:59):
.
The pain, the discomfort, thefrustration is a wake up call to
going okay, what's happeninghere and what is really going on
spiritually that I need tounblock so that I can open
myself up to miracles in thispart of my life, and then the
(18:20):
action I might take from a morehealed place is going to be
different than the ones I'vebeen taking over and over that
haven't worked.
So in my case, I did the 12steps around my marital crisis
and when we got to the ninthstep, which is making an amends,
(18:41):
this woman said have you evermade an amends to yourself?
And I hadn't.
Now, what does this have to dowith action?
Everything, in my opinion, inmy experience, everything,
because I was a person who ranoff of self-ridicule.
The voice inside my head thatwas the loudest said this is
(19:03):
what you get for what you did tohim.
Tough shit.
The only action you get to takeis begging and pleading and
convincing so that this worksout, so that you're okay, cause
you're a piece of shit and youcheated on him, and this is what
you get for what you did.
There was no other option ofaction because I had so much
(19:24):
shame and such a lack ofworthiness that, until I gave
myself permission to forgivemyself for what I did and who I
was, so that I could look mymarriage squarely in the eye and
see it as something that wasdeeply unfulfilling, that I
actually didn't want and didn'tdeserve, there was no other
(19:46):
action I could take.
When I started the process ofmore compassionate self talk,
the miracle is that I heard myintuition.
She started to be a differentvoice that I was interested in
listening to.
How did I know it was adifferent voice?
(20:07):
It sounded nothing like mycritical voice.
It was not loud, it was notobsessive, it was not mean, it
was calm, it was curious, it wasclear, it was compassionate,
often very simple.
It was clear, it wascompassionate, often very simple
(20:29):
, and when she started to speakup, I took action in the
direction she was nudging me,and then my life started to
(20:50):
change.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
So we want to talk about bravery.
The bravest thing we can everdo is forgive ourselves for shit
.
We've done that's.
I mean that's huge, because Italked about action is and, like
you mentioned, it's action thatcan.
You're gonna take some type ofaction.
Which way is it going to serveyou or not?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
is the action coming from a loving place or is it
coming from a punishing place?
If it's coming from a punishingplace, watch out.
Yeah, you're going to hit thewall.
You're going to hit the wall.
Maybe not for five more years,but you will.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, you talked about you know, in a way, you
know how can I get this personto love me, what can I say, what
can I do, almost in a peoplepleasing form of fashion, right.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I've been there.
I mean, I grew up it was aboutpeople pleasing.
How can I shape shift that?
And that's why I valueauthenticity and vulnerability
so much now, because growing upI wasn't very vulnerable and I
wasn't very authentic, because Ialways wanted to be in that
(21:55):
mode of being perfect andpleasing people, pleasing right,
Until you kind of change thosethoughts right or those beliefs
and start to act in a differentway.
And, man, it's so huge that yousaid that bravery, forgiving
yourself.
Why do you think it's so toughto forgive yourself?
(22:18):
I know that's a deep questionand it's probably everybody
right probably everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Right, it is.
Um, I think, as someone who's ahardwired perfectionist type a,
I think we run on our abilityto perform and part of what
seemingly gets us there is thatpush, come on, do better, try
harder.
And so there's this againpotential identity collapse at
(23:01):
the thought of well, if I don'tdo that, will I actually achieve
the thing?
I mean, who am actually achievethe thing?
I mean, who am I without thatedge?
Yeah, and when you have a stackof evidence all around you and
also we're so deeply culturallyconditioned that the more things
(23:23):
we have, the better we are, andif how you're getting those
things is by criticizingyourself into perpetuity.
But you got the thing, theneveryone tells you how fabulous
you look, how amazing your lifeis.
Why would you give that upuntil you have a dark night of
(23:48):
the soul and I say this all thetime that perfectionism is so
great but it collapses withmatters of the heart.
So if you want all the shinythings and you want to be mean
to yourself on the way there,you'll get them, I guarantee
(24:11):
you'll get them.
But you won't feel good.
And then if someone you lovebetrays you or dies suddenly,
what are you going to do?
Are you going to beat yourselfup about everything you should
have said or done you can?
(24:33):
How's that going to make youfeel?
Who are you going to help fromthat place?
You're going to drown in regretand shame.
And guess what you're going towant to do more of?
Get those external thingsEscape, because the
self-ridicule will beunmanageable when it comes to
(24:55):
those big life events.
I don't know that we're taughtthis shit.
I mean, I've met almost no onewho grows up in a house and has
a blueprint for how to navigatelife's hardest things, which is
also why I'm on the mission.
(25:15):
I am to take the universalprinciples of the 12 steps and
make them applicable living,because at some point every
single one of us everyone who'slistening is going to go through
something that there's no clearpathway through and it's going
to hurt like hell becausethere's going to feel miserable.
(25:55):
Everything that worked to getyou those shiny things is not
going to work, with a dark nightof the soul.
So you can wait until thathappens to try and cultivate a
more compassionate self-talk.
You could do the work now, whenthings aren't as hard.
(26:22):
You could spend the rest ofyour life speaking to yourself
that way.
But then you're going to needto numb that pain, and it might
not be with cocaine, like what Iused.
It might be with sex scrollingwork.
(26:42):
But how do you want to feel whenyou get to the end of your life
?
How do you want to feel?
How do you want to say you'velived?
I bet you will wish that youdidn't spend so much time
beating yourself up.
That is not the goal ofanyone's life.
You know, I'm going to spendmost of my day telling myself
(27:05):
I'm a piece of shit and that Ishould lose weight.
Nobody fucking signs up forthat.
Yeah, but it's tricky.
We don't have a culture thatembeds in us.
Love who you are fiercely andferociously first, and then go
(27:29):
out and do God's bidding.
That's not what we're taught.
In fact, the more broken yourvessel is, the easier it is to
sell you shit.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
And then we come out into adulthood and some shit
hits the fan and we're like Idon't even fucking know who I am
, let alone know how to lovemyself.
Through this it's backward,Everything is backward.
Life is an inside job.
Happiness is an inside job.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
We don't get taught it, like you said.
So how can people, you know,folks can't even be aware of
when they are shaming themselves.
You just think this is aregular voice.
It's just, it's just it.
Oh, I need to lose weight.
Every time you go to the mirrorevery morning, it's a negative
self-talk, right?
Every time you, you know,something bad happens.
(28:25):
I know for me, and I can bevulnerable and say that I'm
somebody that loses things.
Often I go to a place forgot Iforgot my iPad, go to another
place oh, I forgot my key to myplace, and I don't realize that
I forgot my key.
Until I get there I'm like, oh,my goodness, I am such an idiot
.
These are things that thathappen, right.
(28:47):
And I get frustrated withmyself when these things happen,
when I'm moving so fast andI've had to kind of reverse it
and say, no, hey, no, this isnot who you are.
You know, you have a lot goingon.
Your mind is going from thisplace to this place.
Let's just go back and go grabthe iPad, and next time we'll
(29:09):
start to be a little bit morepresent, right?
So these are just things thatwe can start to correct in real
time.
They'll happen.
That first thought might beuncontrollable, but that second
thought you can change itquickly so that it becomes
muscle memory moving forward,exactly, it becomes muscle
memory moving forward Exactly.
So that's just an example, rightMm-hmm, our inner critic, right
(29:37):
Walk me through that People askme so much.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
You know, when I was doing that 12-step work and we
got to that ninth step, you knowpeople want to know how did you
do that?
How did you go from threedecades of beating yourself up
to this woman proposes thisquestion.
You know, have you everforgiven yourself?
And now and now, what, here'swhat, what, here's what.
(30:12):
First of all, in that time inmy life that was about, I mean,
not including the eight monthssleeping on multiple people's
couches before the six-monthlease but it was months and
months of a deep depression, insobriety.
So, even as I was doing thework, even as she asked me that
question every day that I wokeup, I was so sad and so scared.
When she asked me that it was ashattering of a belief system
(30:40):
that I didn't know had a noosearound my neck.
The belief system was this ishow you speak to yourself, this
is how we get shit done, this ishow it looks, this is how it
feels, this is how it works.
The shattering of that beliefsystem, number one, was possible
because she gave me permissionand number two because I was in
enough pain to want to blow itup.
(31:02):
I was like well, this shit.
I might have believed this upuntil this part of my life, but
this voice that's telling me Ideserve this shitty marriage is
fucking killing me.
It's killing me and I don'twant to die.
So if that's true, that means Ineed to stop using it.
(31:23):
Great, now what?
This is?
An obsessive train of thoughtsthat goes by and, as you said,
you can't control the first one.
What it means is I started toturn the dial up on my awareness
of the thoughts in my head, soit became like an experiment.
(31:44):
Okay, for the remainder of theday, I'm just going to try to
notice how I'm speaking tomyself.
Step one this is everyspiritual teacher and
methodology on earth you musthave consciousness around the
thing you want to try to change,especially if it is a
longstanding habit that you wantto break, especially if it is a
(32:09):
long standing habit that youwant to break.
So I started to pay attentionand then, much like you said, I
would notice the critical voiceand I would say, okay, well, I
know how that story ends If Ikeep speaking to myself that way
.
It ends in an apartment, in abroken marriage, where I feel
depressed and miserable everyday.
I know that.
So I can just feed that voiceand agree with her and sort of
(32:31):
double down on that she's rightand what she said.
Or I could say huh, if I'mtrying to become a person who
forgives themselves for what shedid, then what would I say to
myself?
Because they're two differentthings.
If I'm a person who doesn'tforgive herself, then I'm going
to keep saying this is what youfucking get, piece of shit.
(32:54):
So if I forgive myself, I can'tsay that I have to say
something like wow, this is thecraziest thing you've ever
navigated sober, this is thescare.
You have absolutely no ideawhat the future of this marriage
is going to look like.
But we don't know how, we don'tknow when you're going to find
(33:20):
your way forward, and right nowyou just need to do the next
right thing.
You just need to go, you know,take a warm bath.
You don't need to know theoutcome, you don't need.
But you, you, you definitelydon't deserve to keep feeling
bad.
I had to kind of dream up, and Ithink it's important that it
(33:41):
came from me.
I had to dream up what I wouldsay instead, and then I had to
practice saying it.
And then, if that softer sideof me had an idea for something
I should do.
I definitely had to practicedoing it, because saying is
(34:03):
important.
All this stuff rewires thecircuitry in our brain if we
practice it.
So we want to talk aboutchanging ourselves.
This is the science of realchange.
It's practice, practice,practice, practice, practice
again and again, and again andagain.
The other thing, though, aboutthe action taking.
So, for example, it was in thistime period of the marital
(34:26):
crisis that my intuition saidhey girl, hey, you're broke as a
doctor and you might want tostart your own thing, because
there's this whole need in thehealthcare climate that isn't
being met.
And you can meet that need.
You should start asking yourclients where they're going when
(34:48):
they get discharged.
She said that to me, so I didso.
I asked them, and they said ohwell, yeah, I guess I was just
going to hire a trainer, but I'drather work with you.
So then I said great, do youwant me to come to your house
once a week?
We'll do strength andconditioning Eventually.
I got fired for this, by theway.
But why is the action taking soimportant in this behavioral
(35:13):
shift?
Because taking action from aloving place results in
self-worth.
I now have proof of conceptself-worth.
I now have proof of concept.
(35:33):
Holy shit, I just spoke tomyself in a kinder way, took a
suggestion from that kinder partof myself, did something and I
had a win.
I have proof that somethinggood happened when I don't shame
myself and I feel good about it.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Damn, is this what my life could look and feel like
yeah, and then you continue todo it.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Correct.
I have been in deep communionwith my intuition, which I now
call God, for I'll be 16 years,sober next month, so 11 years.
She is the guidepost of everydecision I make.
Every time I am out of sorts, Igo right back into my thinking
mind not so much my criticalmind, I mean I have really
(36:28):
arrested her in her tracks.
I I have taken away so muchpower from her, but that's
because I acknowledge why she'sthere.
She's always there when I'm infear, when I feel powerless,
when I feel great bouts of grief, like losing my sister, which I
(36:51):
want to talk about, somethingyou can't control she'll show up
.
She'll have a whole bunch ofsuggestions about what I could
double down and do, how thin Icould get, how I could obsess
over escaping the life I'm in togo run off with someone else,
cause maybe then I'll feel alivebecause I feel so dead inside.
(37:12):
She'll make suggestions to tryto protect me, but they're not
in my best interest and I knowthat.
So I wait for the whisper of myintuition, for the whisper of
my intuition.
I can always feel thedifference, and that's the thing
(37:33):
when people ask these questions.
You know, how do you know?
How do you know, this is reallyimportant that we also try to
embody this.
It's not just a cerebral thingbecause as a dancer, I just a
(37:55):
cerebral thing because as adancer I I'm always checking in
with my body and our body isalways speaking to us.
So if I'm in fear and I'mruminating and obsessing,
because my controlling mind isshowing up to the party and
she's most likely going to sayif you don't fucking do this,
it's all going to fall apart, ifyou don't do this, you're an
idiot, and it makes mephysically feel tight,
(38:19):
constricted, anxious.
There's a physicalmanifestation of that because
really, on a nervous systemlevel, it's fight or flight.
Physical manifestation of thatbecause really, on a nervous
system level, it's fight orflight.
It's like, oh, my shit'sgetting real.
We got to fucking arm up, suitup, get ready to go to war.
They're coming Right.
(38:43):
And that's not it, that's notGod, that's not intuition,
that's not your most loving,patient, compassionate self,
it's not, because when that partof you shows up, it's the
opposite, it's a parasympatheticstate.
It comes in stillness.
So the people listening whodon't know how to be still, who
are afraid to sit still, you'rethe ones that need it the most
(39:04):
because you're missing out onyour God-given intuition, your
instinct, the thing that youhave, that you were born with,
that you exercised as a kid andthat at some point got silenced.
You got to know what that partof you has to say, or you don't
really fully know what you needand want in this life.
(39:26):
So you got to pay attention.
It's not just your head, it'syour body, it's your gut, it's
your heart.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, you know, it's a few things you mentioned.
You were talking about yourstory and how negative self-talk
, right?
Or you know that inner critic.
You say you knew that storyright.
And a lot of times a lot offolks are afraid of the
(39:54):
uncertainty with the other wayright, the positive way, the way
that's more self-loving.
They don't know what that islike.
So we continue to have thatinner critic or we just want to
stay comfortable in thisbehavior because we know, we
know where that story is goingto go.
Yeah, you know.
Hey, I'll bounce back and thenI'll, you know, sabotage and
(40:16):
then I'll bounce back and I knowhow that's going to go, right.
But if I actually go this way,I really don't know how that's
going to go.
And so the action is important.
But also to being uncomfortablewith I mean being comfortable
with uncertainty, right, it canbe tough, and when you feel,
(40:39):
when you're still and you areable to just spend time alone
with no distractions and nosocial media, and you're able to
just, like you said, hear thevoice of God, it's something
about that.
Even for myself, that first 10to 15 minutes of being still, I
(41:01):
got all these thoughts going onin my head and it's so uneasy
and it's so uncertain going onin my head and it's so uneasy
and it's so uncertain, and whenyou just continue to sit still,
all of a sudden, things getcalmer.
Things start to slow down.
I can hear that voice talk tome and show me my real,
(41:23):
authentic version of who I am,as opposed to authentic version
of who I am as opposed to, maybe, what I've built up.
Right, I don't know, you justsaid it.
You know I feel likeuncertainty, and controlling
(41:44):
what we can is kind of a anotherstage of growth.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Right, yeah, I there's of growth.
Right yeah, there's in adjunctto the way I've reinvented the
12-step process so that itresonates with me.
There's so much spiritualliterature that I read
(42:07):
constantly in a personal growthpodcast that I listened to.
And there's this guy, DavidGuillaume, who's a Kabbalah
master, and I recently heard himon Lewis house podcast and he
talks about certainty beyondlogic.
And he talks about certaintybeyond logic and I do think that
(42:29):
one of the scariest thingsabout going into recovery
initially was the God-centricnature of it and that I grew up
in a house where if you believedin God, you were an absolute
fool and the only person youcould count on is yourself.
So there's a lot of people likeme who have very sort of
atheist upbringings and orheavily Christian upbringings
(42:51):
where there's a punishing God,that come into the rooms and
hear that and are like hell.
No, because it undoeseverything that you learned that
kept you safe, and unlesseverything has fallen apart in
your life where you are primedto go has fallen apart in your
life where you are primed to go,I will take any suggestion to
(43:12):
turn this around.
You're going to run, and sothat was me in recovery like
running from doing the work.
I stayed abstinent but I wasrunning from any sort of
spirituality and I can saysafely now that probably the
greatest gift that I've beengiven in recovery is to learn
(43:33):
how to be comfortable in the notknowing.
I mean, that's what we'retalking about and every, every
human on earth is going toexperience uncertainty.
And so what?
(43:53):
What are we going to do when itshows up and you know, when I
started to do step one on mymarriage and it became step one
in AA is like you know, I'mpowerless over alcohol.
My life has become unmanageable.
At some point we get it.
You know, if you drink againyou're probably going to drink
to excess.
You might buy a bag of cocaine,you might end up overdosing and
(44:14):
dying like probably not a goodchoice for you.
But then what about thebusiness of living?
What does that step mean aboutthe business of living?
In my case, with the marriage,right.
That step mean about thebusiness of living, in my case,
with the marriage right.
Wait, what if I say I'mpowerless over my husband and
trying to change his mind andthe past and the future of the
marriage?
And and when I try to exertpower over him, my life becomes
(44:38):
unmanageable in the followingways I have my.
My peace of mind and worthinessis completely contingent on him
.
I'm constantly anxious aboutthe next right thing I'm going
to say to him to change his mind.
You know, and the list went on,and so that's like that was
like the beginning of step one.
But the second part of that,which is what we're talking
about, is, if that's all true,if every day that I wake up
(45:02):
cause now it's not the marriage,it's sending my children off to
school, so they're going to bea fucking school shooting, am I
going to get into a car accident?
Am I going to where's thescroll of the list of things
every 24 hours that I'mpowerless over, and when I'm
trying to obsess about itbecause it's not going my way,
(45:23):
and how bad that makes me feel.
Okay, I can see how that makesmy life unmanageable, but then
what do I have real power over?
What can I change?
So something as simple as I'mstuck in traffic.
When I'm someone who loves to beearly and that is true for me I
don't show up on time.
I show up early.
(45:43):
Now I'm on my way to animportant meeting and there's a
fucking traffic jam and I'mgoing to be late.
What I want to do is curl up ina ball and scream and honk the
horn and bring out my best innerNew Yorker and flip everyone
off right.
That's going to make me feelterrible.
(46:03):
It's not going to get me theresooner.
That's going to make me feelterrible.
It's not going to get me theresooner.
So I need to radicallysurrender.
There's literally nothing I cando about this.
What can I do?
Well, okay, let's start withthe logistics.
I can call the person who I'mon my way to see and just
communicate.
Hey, eta, was this?
(46:26):
It just increased.
Do you still want to have themeeting?
Uh, if so, I'll be.
I'll be able to be there atthis time.
So sorry about theinconvenience.
Cool, and then I'm stuck in thecar.
So do I use it as a time formoving meditation?
Do I keep the music off?
Do I roll the window down?
(46:46):
Do I just really witness what'scoming up for me?
Uh, do I call a friend that Imiss, that I'd like to check in
on?
Is there someone who I couldcall, who might need my help,
who I can serve by just being alistening ear?
Is there a podcast that's goingto give me new insight into how
(47:09):
I'm thinking and behaving andliving my life.
Every day we have anopportunity to practice
admitting to some extent what wecannot control and really
honing our skills over what wecan.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Yeah, Letting go.
Let just let go of what wecan't control, because that's
the things that make us anxious.
Right, the things that we can'tcontrol.
That we try to control otherpeople other people's opinions
of us Right.
That we try to control Otherpeople other people's opinions
of us right?
These are things that we can'tcontrol, that we get anxious
(47:51):
about, as opposed to just saying, hey, I can't control it, let
go and let me focus on what Ican, and then you start to like
you did list a bunch of things.
That's right.
Put your energy towards, asopposed to this, right, yeah, do
(48:14):
you have you looking at you?
Right, you're you, you, you are, you feel very authentic, very
real, very various differentfacets right, you are in the
arts.
Right, also a doctor.
Right, these are so manydifferent facets that you have.
On the way of doing all thesethings, have you struggled with,
(48:38):
with the opinions of others,right?
Has that been a struggle foryou?
Speaker 2 (48:44):
Oh God, yeah, right.
Has that been a struggle foryou?
Oh god, yeah.
Uh, I think for sure, when Iwas actively pursuing dancing
and singing.
This is when I had, you know,my addiction was active.
I had no spiritual template forgetting through life, and so
(49:05):
the rejection of that industry,the compare and despair, was so
acute and really insufferable,which is another reason why
choosing academia for a timefelt so good, because I knew how
to thrive in that environment.
And I think there are layersand layers of letting go of what
(49:33):
the outside world thinks, andnone have been as profound as
losing my sister and, in thewake of that, whatever shackles
(49:54):
were still around me about whatI deserve to do, based on when
other people gave me the greenlight to do it they broke off,
so this whole.
you can't start a podcast yet.
(50:17):
Nobody knows who you are.
What are you doing?
Writing a book?
You're not a celebrity.
No one's going to buy it.
That's another form ofcomparison.
I've got to be this before Ican do that.
(50:50):
And now I'm not saying I'm freefrom it, right, Because here I
am talking to you, you with big,huge dreams of being one of the
greatest public speakers of alltime.
There is an element of thatthat is so out of my control.
(51:14):
In fact, as we speak, I've beenwaiting for almost two weeks to
find out if I booked a speakinggig, a paid speaking gig.
I will be lying if I said Ihaven't been thinking about it
every day.
Am I going to get it?
Are they going to pick me?
I want it bad, but thedifference is because of how
(51:38):
much work I've done on myself.
The truest part of me knows thisto be true.
If not this, then somethingelse.
If not now, soon.
I know in my bones that I'mgoing to be sharing these
(52:04):
messages to audiences on stages.
And if that's true, if I havecertainty beyond my logical mind
because my logical mind islooking for evidence really
You're going to sell outstadiums.
How do you figure?
How do you figure that's goingto happen, Sam.
But if I have certainty on asoul level, on a gut level, then
it doesn't actually matter ifthese people say yes or no,
(52:30):
because I know where I'm going.
I just don't need to know howor when or what it's going to
look like.
So are all the other parts ofme creeping up and going.
Are they going to pick me?
Are they going to pick me?
Are they going to pick me?
Of course, yes, A hundredpercent.
But so much more of me is likeit's all good girl, you are in
(53:01):
the running, your name is in thepot In January.
It's all happening In divinetiming.
You have evidence of this inyour life.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Where it never went according to your plan Ever
Nothing if you look back, everand it was all good.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Might have been even better right.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
That's right, and so I'm the freest that I've ever
been from that place, and Ithink loss can teach us how to
live more fully and more freelyIf we're brave enough to face
(53:52):
the pain of the loss, and thatis what it is doing for me.
But I would be lying if I saidit doesn't affect me.
Of course it does.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
We don't graduate from our spiritual curriculum
here on earth.
We just have more opportunitiesto learn the next layer of
healing and growing.
That's it.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Just the next layer, the next growth.
I love that.
Where I mean, I can't believehow jam-packed this episode has
been.
I feel like we've talked a lot,right, about so many different
things, and I think the mainconcept is stillness, awareness,
(54:43):
consciousness, understandingthat we all have struggles.
Right, we all have struggles.
How can we have the courage tolook within and take action from
a loving place, right?
Where can people find you?
(55:05):
Where can, where can folkscontinue to follow your story?
I want to, um, I just want togive you a shout out because I
feel like you know you are veryvulnerable, which is a
superpower, right, Especially intoday's world where we want to
just show our best self.
Everything has been perfect, Um, and you've been able to help a
(55:27):
lot of people, um, with yourvulnerability.
Where can people continue tofind your journey, hear your
story and, um, follow what youhave in?
Speaker 2 (55:38):
the future.
Yeah, I, I'm pretty much thesame across all social media
channels.
Which is Dr she put it in hername, guys Dr Dr Samantha Hart,
h-a-r-t-e.
So Instagram is probably thesocial media platform I'm the
most active on and you can justDM me.
And if you go on my website,which is the same
(56:00):
drsamanthahartcom, you can booka discovery call the same
drsamanthaheartcom.
You can book a discovery call.
Uh, you can click a link to getsent to the amazon page and get
my book and just learn aboutall the things that I'm doing.
Andi think you know we spoke atthe top of the conversation
about the two biggest passionpoints and they're coaching
(56:24):
other people in this containerthat is uniquely curated for
where they're at, and what thatmeans is, you know, the perfect
client wants to do mind, body,soul work with me, and having
the doctorate is an amazingasset to being able to create
(56:46):
programs that are based off ofscience to get the person fit to
be doing the physicalactivities that they really want
to be doing in their lifewithout injury.
But spiritually speaking, I usethe 12-step process on whatever
the pain point is in theperson's life.
It doesn't have to do anythingwith addiction, whatever the
pain point is in the person'slife.
It doesn't have to do anythingwith addiction.
(57:07):
You feel trapped in a job oryou're having trouble finding a
stable friendship and you'restuck in some cycle and you're
not even sure why or what it isor how to change it.
And that kind of work is someaningful to me.
It lights me on fire.
It really makes me feel likeI've taken my pain and
(57:27):
repurposed it, because I thinkthe gift of pain is what we do
with it and if we can use ourpain to help the next person
that's suffering, then it's notin vain.
It really feels not like it wasworth it, necessarily, but like
(57:51):
it matters.
Speaker 1 (57:52):
Yeah, it gives it purpose right, it really does.
Yeah, yeah.
And you know what I made amistake.
I meant to say Dr, dr, samanthaHart, even ina, right, I made a
mistake.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
I actually think it's really great that you did it.
It's so on topic witheverything we talked about.
I mean it's just epic.
Speaker 1 (58:18):
No, I love it.
Well, dr Samantha Hart, Iappreciate you coming on the
show.
This is a very powerful episode, so I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
Thank you so much for having me, Josh.
Welcome to another episode of Playing Injured.
We have a very special guest,samantha Hart.
She is the founder of StrongHeart Fitness, best-selling
author of her book Breaking theCircuit, and a speaker and life
coach.
Samantha, welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello Josh.
Thank you for having me.
I'm very excited to talk to you.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
I'm excited as well.
So obviously I put some titleson you.
But kind of going through allof your social media, going
through other podcasts thatyou've been on, you have so many
different facets to who you are.
How would you describe who youare Right?
Who is Samantha Hart?
How does she spend her time?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
who?
You are right.
Who is Samantha Hart?
How does she spend her time?
It's funny.
I spent so much of last yearfrom a business perspective
trying to figure out the answerto that question, and even the
way you introduced me is such apivot from the way I have been
(01:07):
identifying myself, if you will,as a professional for over a
decade.
So there's a shattering, if youwill, of decades of growing up
in a house where getting yourdegree equals your worthiness
(01:30):
and finally having doctor infront of my name and being able
to lead with that.
And then not that I'm not stilla doctor of physical therapy,
and not that that work does notbleed into life coaching,
because of course it does.
If you're coaching somebody whowants to improve the quality of
their life, movement is a partof that, and if it isn't, it
(01:53):
should be, and I have anexpertise.
But to dismantle my identityfrom doctor of physical therapy
such that I got comfortablesaying speaker, life coach,
author, founder, and and youknow funny that when we say
(02:27):
hello and we introduce ourselves, we're introducing ourselves
based on what we do.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
As opposed to who we are.
So you asked me who I am.
I am a sober woman.
I am a mother trying to figureit out.
I am a soul seeker.
I am a thought leader.
I am a cycle breaker.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
That's deep.
Yeah, that's deep.
Talk to me about that, becauseyou just talked about breaking a
whole cycle last year.
Right, yeah, being a doctor,education was big in family and
your family.
Right, being a doctor, I'm sureit was a big accomplishment.
(03:21):
I'm sure when you got it, Idon't know how you felt, did it
feel?
How you thought it would feel?
You know, all these things thatare external, that we feel like
will make us feel better if weobtain it right, instead of kind
of the internal work ofunderstanding who we are and
(03:41):
what is unique for us, who arewe and what path should we take
in life?
Right, how did you break thatcycle?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Well, wanting to be in entertainment as a young girl
, but growing up in a housewhere my mother's word ruled and
what she felt we should bedoing with our lives is the
cookie cutter culturalconditioning that is bestowed
(04:15):
upon us in capitalist society,which is you get the degree, you
get the boyfriend and thehusband, the house and the car
and the kids, and it's asurefire way to a stable life.
So I will say, because Idabbled in the arts at the same
(04:37):
time as I dabbled in drugs andalcohol, which quickly became a
cocaine addiction that almostkilled me, School felt so safe
and when I went to physicaltherapy school it did feel like
the truest thing to me at thetime.
If I were to go into academia,the truest thing was singing and
(05:00):
dancing.
That I knew.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
But second to that, it felt like a really good fit.
So when I graduated, I was soproud.
I was so, so proud.
And then I was met with thereality of the healthcare
climate and how broken it is,and I was watching PTs treat
(05:24):
four or five patients at a time,not make anybody better and
also not make any money at allcompared to the debt that we're
in from graduate school, and Iwas like, no, this is not, this
is not it.
So I quickly set on a path,within a few years of working
for someone else, to start myown practice and for a long time
(05:49):
it was this cash-based wholebody, whole person practice
where a lot of people would findme after they went to
traditional therapy and paidtheir $30 copay and got 60%
better.
And they were like I want toget a hundred percent better.
And as somebody who grew uploving to dance, thinking about
(06:11):
wanting to be the veryembarrassing grandmother at 95,
who's literally dropping it likeit's hot and wanting to know
who that person was going to bethat was going to keep my body
conditioned to do those things,I was like I'm that person for
you.
I am going to be the person whogets you from 60 to a hundred
percent and I was able to createa business because I was
(06:35):
filling a need that wasn't beingmet.
And if it was being met, it wasbeing met by trainers and
Pilates instructors and yogateachers, but I had a doctorate.
So it was an easy sell to sayto someone you know what.
You could go to Equinox and pay$1,500 for a 12 pack of
sessions with a personal trainerwho got their certification in
three weeks or three months atbest, or you could pay me, and I
(07:00):
would find out the rates thatwere comparable, and charge a
similar amount, which wassignificantly higher than what I
was making working for someoneelse, which, by the way, was $33
an hour for three yearsstraight, with no raise as a
doctor.
And at the same time as I wasbuilding this business and
(07:22):
identifying as Dr Hart, I wasgathering time in sobriety.
I was living through somereally hard shit and going into
these 12-step rooms and hearingstories of overcoming adversity
(07:43):
and resilience and grit.
And then I'd come back out intomy clinic with these ordinary
folks, many of whom were highnet worth, and I was noticing
their own emotional cycles ofdysfunction not at all a heroin
or cocaine addiction, but anaddiction to work, or
(08:09):
self-denial, or self-pity, orthinness, and I thought this is
soul sickness and I want totreat this.
But that's not what they paidme for and it bothered me.
(08:30):
It bothered me and and becauseI was a practitioner that spent
an entire hour with people,which was which is still unheard
of to this day to get an hourof a doctor's time unless you're
paying for it I was able, to acertain extent, to meet the
person where they were atemotionally, because I had to do
(08:53):
something about the thing thatwas going to get in the way of
me curing their knee pain and,at the same time, it wasn't
completely in the scope of mypractice.
So there was like an itchinside of me that I couldn't
(09:14):
scratch and I would dream aboutgoing back to school to get a
psychology degree.
And then I thought, oh God, I'mnot doing this again.
You know I mean no way.
No way, the debt and the timecommitment, and but that I was.
You know that's how much of anurge I had to treat the soul
side of health and wellness.
(09:37):
And then, on March 13th of 2022,I lost my sister to a drug
overdose and it was full stop.
I am no longer Dr Hart, everagain in this world.
I am no longer just a personwho is an expert at the body,
(10:01):
and whatever I do next andwherever I go next, I'm bringing
all of me and everything I'velearned from the spiritual side.
I spent all this money and Ispent all this time getting this
(10:29):
degree and building a practicein Santa Monica, by the way that
was successful for 10 years,very hard to do, and now I'm
walking away from it identitycollapse and building something
new.
But what I really mean by cyclebreaker and what I really want
(10:51):
people to know when we say youknow who we are, no matter how
big my dreams are.
I want to speak on stages.
I want to sell out stadiums.
I want to be the girl who12-stepped the world.
I want to cast the widest neton who I can help.
That's amazing, but ifeverything ended today and my
(11:19):
life was cut short, I still didthe hardest and bravest thing
that I could ever do with mylife, which is break the cycle
of addiction, mental illness andchronic emotional cycles of
dysfunction that has run in myancestral heritage for centuries
(11:42):
, and I cannot think ofsomething better to have done
with my life than that.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
Yeah, 100%, breaking a cycle.
That was learned right.
And then also, too, you get,you know, examples of past
generations before you whichcreate some type of beliefs
about you, about yourself,things you might have in you
(12:14):
interpret it.
That happened, but you saw it adifferent way or you perceived
it a different way aboutyourself, right?
And so I actually you know, Iwas going through kind of your
Instagram and when you saidcourage, bravery, right, I think
about action, I think aboutactually taking a step, right.
(12:34):
And you said a quote and you'llyou'll remember this when I say
it you said you cannot thinkyour way into better acting, you
have to act your way intobetter thinking, right, so many
folks especially when they'rehaving addiction or they have
these beliefs we spend so muchtime thinking about getting
(12:57):
better.
Oh, as soon as I move here,then I'll get better.
When I get that new job, thenI'll get better.
When I get this gym membership,then I'll get better.
We think about getting better,we think about growing ourselves
, as opposed to just puttingaction behind it, which takes
courage, which takes bravery.
It is scary, right.
(13:18):
So when you talked aboutbravery, you talked about
courage.
That was like the first thingthat came up in my mind is
putting action behind it.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah, and it's, it's.
I love having theseconversations because, well,
first of all, I'm going to nerdout because, on a brain level,
any, any conversation you gointo your brain is literally
going to be different at the endof it.
I don't know what you're goingto ask me and what you're going
to say in response to what I say.
And then it makes me thinkabout what's what is coming up
(13:56):
for me while he's talking, notsuch that I'm plotting out my
answer.
That's what I used to do when Iwas so anxious and it was all
about me and what I was going tosay.
Now, when I speak, it's aboutwho I can help.
It's not about me, it's aboutyou, it's about your listener.
It's so cool to dynamicallychange and push our brain from a
(14:19):
neural network perspective.
And when I hear you say that, Ithink back to how I became
brave.
If bravery is taking action, ifthat's one version of being
brave, then what is required toget out of the thinking mind and
(14:42):
into action Because again, wecan say it but what is required
to act?
And, spiritually speaking, Iwas absolutely stuck under a
pattern of living which was if Ican just control things outside
(15:07):
of me?
Back to what you said at thebeginning of this talk, then
I'll be okay.
And I learned that it was deeplyingrained and I tried it well
into recovery because I had alot of evidence that that worked
until it didn't.
And so my marriage startedfalling apart.
And then, when I tried tocontrol him and I was sure that
(15:29):
if I said or did the right thinghe would forgive me for all the
times I cheated before we gotengaged and married that if we
went to therapy and we both did12 step programs, that our
marriage would be okay.
I was so sure because when Iwanted to go get a doctorate, I
did X, y and Z.
And then I so sure because whenI wanted to go get a doctorate,
I did X, y and Z and then I gotthe degree.
When I wanted to get the job, Iapplied and I had my interviews
(15:50):
and then I got the job.
When I wanted to find anapartment in New York city, I I
got into you know, a bartendingjob and made the cash and got
the.
I could do all of these things,watch me go.
And then it didn't work.
And when I slept on couches formonths and months and months
(16:13):
and hit spiritual rock bottomwhere a girlfriend in recovery
was like if you're not ready toleave this marriage, you can't
live like this.
And I signed a lease at 30years old in this marital
separation.
Just bankrupt five years,physically sober, spiritually
bankrupt, this woman came intomy life and said what if we do
(16:36):
the steps on your marriage?
Because the thing is, the onlyaction I was taking up until
this time in my life was whatcan I say or do to make this
person love me again so that Iam okay?
That was the only action Icould take.
The idea of taking a differentkind of action it was
(16:58):
unimaginable to me because I wasrunning on a program that my
nervous system had used, andused very well, to survive a
very tumultuous growing up, andI didn't know any other thing to
do besides take action in thatway.
So that's the other thing,right, like bravery and action
taking.
(17:18):
We're only going to be able todo what we've been exposed to
doing and what we're hardwiredto do, and it's going to work
until it doesn't.
And then when it doesn't.
So if you have a pain point inyour life, whether it's like
everything's good but romance,romance is killing I can't find
(17:39):
the person.
I'm doing all the things I'mtrying to manifest my partner.
I'm doing all the things I'mtrying to manifest my partner.
Then there is some patternaround relationships that you
have been in that's probablybeen very unconscious, that
isn't working anymore.
It's causing now more pain,more harm than it is helping you
(17:59):
.
The pain, the discomfort, thefrustration is a wake up call to
going okay, what's happeninghere and what is really going on
spiritually that I need tounblock so that I can open
myself up to miracles in thispart of my life, and then the
(18:20):
action I might take from a morehealed place is going to be
different than the ones I'vebeen taking over and over that
haven't worked.
So in my case, I did the 12steps around my marital crisis
and when we got to the ninthstep, which is making an amends,
(18:41):
this woman said have you evermade an amends to yourself?
And I hadn't.
Now, what does this have to dowith action?
Everything, in my opinion, inmy experience, everything,
because I was a person who ranoff of self-ridicule.
The voice inside my head thatwas the loudest said this is
(19:03):
what you get for what you did tohim.
Tough shit.
The only action you get to takeis begging and pleading and
convincing so that this worksout, so that you're okay, cause
you're a piece of shit and youcheated on him, and this is what
you get for what you did.
There was no other option ofaction because I had so much
(19:24):
shame and such a lack ofworthiness that, until I gave
myself permission to forgivemyself for what I did and who I
was, so that I could look mymarriage squarely in the eye and
see it as something that wasdeeply unfulfilling, that I
actually didn't want and didn'tdeserve, there was no other
(19:46):
action I could take.
When I started the process ofmore compassionate self talk,
the miracle is that I heard myintuition.
She started to be a differentvoice that I was interested in
listening to.
How did I know it was adifferent voice?
(20:07):
It sounded nothing like mycritical voice.
It was not loud, it was notobsessive, it was not mean, it
was calm, it was curious, it wasclear, it was compassionate,
often very simple.
It was clear, it wascompassionate, often very simple
(20:29):
, and when she started to speakup, I took action in the
direction she was nudging me,and then my life started to
(20:50):
change.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
So we want to talk about bravery.
The bravest thing we can everdo is forgive ourselves for shit
.
We've done that's.
I mean that's huge, because Italked about action is and, like
you mentioned, it's action thatcan.
You're gonna take some type ofaction.
Which way is it going to serveyou or not?
Speaker 2 (21:04):
is the action coming from a loving place or is it
coming from a punishing place?
If it's coming from a punishingplace, watch out.
Yeah, you're going to hit thewall.
You're going to hit the wall.
Maybe not for five more years,but you will.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Yeah, you talked about you know, in a way, you
know how can I get this personto love me, what can I say, what
can I do, almost in a peoplepleasing form of fashion, right.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
And.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I've been there.
I mean, I grew up it was aboutpeople pleasing.
How can I shape shift that?
And that's why I valueauthenticity and vulnerability
so much now, because growing upI wasn't very vulnerable and I
wasn't very authentic, because Ialways wanted to be in that
(21:55):
mode of being perfect andpleasing people, pleasing right,
Until you kind of change thosethoughts right or those beliefs
and start to act in a differentway.
And, man, it's so huge that yousaid that bravery, forgiving
yourself.
Why do you think it's so toughto forgive yourself?
(22:18):
I know that's a deep questionand it's probably everybody
right probably everybody.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Right, it is.
Um, I think, as someone who's ahardwired perfectionist type a,
I think we run on our abilityto perform and part of what
seemingly gets us there is thatpush, come on, do better, try
harder.
And so there's this againpotential identity collapse at
(23:01):
the thought of well, if I don'tdo that, will I actually achieve
the thing?
I mean, who am actually achievethe thing?
I mean, who am I without thatedge?
Yeah, and when you have a stackof evidence all around you and
also we're so deeply culturallyconditioned that the more things
(23:23):
we have, the better we are, andif how you're getting those
things is by criticizingyourself into perpetuity.
But you got the thing, theneveryone tells you how fabulous
you look, how amazing your lifeis.
Why would you give that upuntil you have a dark night of
(23:48):
the soul and I say this all thetime that perfectionism is so
great but it collapses withmatters of the heart.
So if you want all the shinythings and you want to be mean
to yourself on the way there,you'll get them, I guarantee
(24:11):
you'll get them.
But you won't feel good.
And then if someone you lovebetrays you or dies suddenly,
what are you going to do?
Are you going to beat yourselfup about everything you should
have said or done you can?
(24:33):
How's that going to make youfeel?
Who are you going to help fromthat place?
You're going to drown in regretand shame.
And guess what you're going towant to do more of?
Get those external thingsEscape, because the
self-ridicule will beunmanageable when it comes to
(24:55):
those big life events.
I don't know that we're taughtthis shit.
I mean, I've met almost no onewho grows up in a house and has
a blueprint for how to navigatelife's hardest things, which is
also why I'm on the mission.
(25:15):
I am to take the universalprinciples of the 12 steps and
make them applicable living,because at some point every
single one of us everyone who'slistening is going to go through
something that there's no clearpathway through and it's going
to hurt like hell becausethere's going to feel miserable.
(25:55):
Everything that worked to getyou those shiny things is not
going to work, with a dark nightof the soul.
So you can wait until thathappens to try and cultivate a
more compassionate self-talk.
You could do the work now, whenthings aren't as hard.
(26:22):
You could spend the rest ofyour life speaking to yourself
that way.
But then you're going to needto numb that pain, and it might
not be with cocaine, like what Iused.
It might be with sex scrollingwork.
(26:42):
But how do you want to feel whenyou get to the end of your life
?
How do you want to feel?
How do you want to say you'velived?
I bet you will wish that youdidn't spend so much time
beating yourself up.
That is not the goal ofanyone's life.
You know, I'm going to spendmost of my day telling myself
(27:05):
I'm a piece of shit and that Ishould lose weight.
Nobody fucking signs up forthat.
Yeah, but it's tricky.
We don't have a culture thatembeds in us.
Love who you are fiercely andferociously first, and then go
(27:29):
out and do God's bidding.
That's not what we're taught.
In fact, the more broken yourvessel is, the easier it is to
sell you shit.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:41):
And then we come out into adulthood and some shit
hits the fan and we're like Idon't even fucking know who I am
, let alone know how to lovemyself.
Through this it's backward,Everything is backward.
Life is an inside job.
Happiness is an inside job.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
We don't get taught it, like you said.
So how can people, you know,folks can't even be aware of
when they are shaming themselves.
You just think this is aregular voice.
It's just, it's just it.
Oh, I need to lose weight.
Every time you go to the mirrorevery morning, it's a negative
self-talk, right?
Every time you, you know,something bad happens.
(28:25):
I know for me, and I can bevulnerable and say that I'm
somebody that loses things.
Often I go to a place forgot Iforgot my iPad, go to another
place oh, I forgot my key to myplace, and I don't realize that
I forgot my key.
Until I get there I'm like, oh,my goodness, I am such an idiot
.
These are things that thathappen, right.
(28:47):
And I get frustrated withmyself when these things happen,
when I'm moving so fast andI've had to kind of reverse it
and say, no, hey, no, this isnot who you are.
You know, you have a lot goingon.
Your mind is going from thisplace to this place.
Let's just go back and go grabthe iPad, and next time we'll
(29:09):
start to be a little bit morepresent, right?
So these are just things thatwe can start to correct in real
time.
They'll happen.
That first thought might beuncontrollable, but that second
thought you can change itquickly so that it becomes
muscle memory moving forward,exactly, it becomes muscle
memory moving forward Exactly.
So that's just an example, rightMm-hmm, our inner critic, right
(29:37):
Walk me through that People askme so much.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
You know, when I was doing that 12-step work and we
got to that ninth step, you knowpeople want to know how did you
do that?
How did you go from threedecades of beating yourself up
to this woman proposes thisquestion.
You know, have you everforgiven yourself?
And now and now, what, here'swhat, what, here's what.
(30:12):
First of all, in that time inmy life that was about, I mean,
not including the eight monthssleeping on multiple people's
couches before the six-monthlease but it was months and
months of a deep depression, insobriety.
So, even as I was doing thework, even as she asked me that
question every day that I wokeup, I was so sad and so scared.
When she asked me that it was ashattering of a belief system
(30:40):
that I didn't know had a noosearound my neck.
The belief system was this ishow you speak to yourself, this
is how we get shit done, this ishow it looks, this is how it
feels, this is how it works.
The shattering of that beliefsystem, number one, was possible
because she gave me permissionand number two because I was in
enough pain to want to blow itup.
(31:02):
I was like well, this shit.
I might have believed this upuntil this part of my life, but
this voice that's telling me Ideserve this shitty marriage is
fucking killing me.
It's killing me and I don'twant to die.
So if that's true, that means Ineed to stop using it.
(31:23):
Great, now what?
This is?
An obsessive train of thoughtsthat goes by and, as you said,
you can't control the first one.
What it means is I started toturn the dial up on my awareness
of the thoughts in my head, soit became like an experiment.
(31:44):
Okay, for the remainder of theday, I'm just going to try to
notice how I'm speaking tomyself.
Step one this is everyspiritual teacher and
methodology on earth you musthave consciousness around the
thing you want to try to change,especially if it is a
longstanding habit that you wantto break, especially if it is a
(32:09):
long standing habit that youwant to break.
So I started to pay attentionand then, much like you said, I
would notice the critical voiceand I would say, okay, well, I
know how that story ends If Ikeep speaking to myself that way
.
It ends in an apartment, in abroken marriage, where I feel
depressed and miserable everyday.
I know that.
So I can just feed that voiceand agree with her and sort of
(32:31):
double down on that she's rightand what she said.
Or I could say huh, if I'mtrying to become a person who
forgives themselves for what shedid, then what would I say to
myself?
Because they're two differentthings.
If I'm a person who doesn'tforgive herself, then I'm going
to keep saying this is what youfucking get, piece of shit.
(32:54):
So if I forgive myself, I can'tsay that I have to say
something like wow, this is thecraziest thing you've ever
navigated sober, this is thescare.
You have absolutely no ideawhat the future of this marriage
is going to look like.
But we don't know how, we don'tknow when you're going to find
(33:20):
your way forward, and right nowyou just need to do the next
right thing.
You just need to go, you know,take a warm bath.
You don't need to know theoutcome, you don't need.
But you, you, you definitelydon't deserve to keep feeling
bad.
I had to kind of dream up, and Ithink it's important that it
(33:41):
came from me.
I had to dream up what I wouldsay instead, and then I had to
practice saying it.
And then, if that softer sideof me had an idea for something
I should do.
I definitely had to practicedoing it, because saying is
(34:03):
important.
All this stuff rewires thecircuitry in our brain if we
practice it.
So we want to talk aboutchanging ourselves.
This is the science of realchange.
It's practice, practice,practice, practice, practice
again and again, and again andagain.
The other thing, though, aboutthe action taking.
So, for example, it was in thistime period of the marital
(34:26):
crisis that my intuition saidhey girl, hey, you're broke as a
doctor and you might want tostart your own thing, because
there's this whole need in thehealthcare climate that isn't
being met.
And you can meet that need.
You should start asking yourclients where they're going when
(34:48):
they get discharged.
She said that to me, so I didso.
I asked them, and they said ohwell, yeah, I guess I was just
going to hire a trainer, but I'drather work with you.
So then I said great, do youwant me to come to your house
once a week?
We'll do strength andconditioning Eventually.
I got fired for this, by theway.
But why is the action taking soimportant in this behavioral
(35:13):
shift?
Because taking action from aloving place results in
self-worth.
I now have proof of conceptself-worth.
I now have proof of concept.
(35:33):
Holy shit, I just spoke tomyself in a kinder way, took a
suggestion from that kinder partof myself, did something and I
had a win.
I have proof that somethinggood happened when I don't shame
myself and I feel good about it.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
Damn, is this what my life could look and feel like
yeah, and then you continue todo it.
Speaker 2 (36:06):
Correct.
I have been in deep communionwith my intuition, which I now
call God, for I'll be 16 years,sober next month, so 11 years.
She is the guidepost of everydecision I make.
Every time I am out of sorts, Igo right back into my thinking
mind not so much my criticalmind, I mean I have really
(36:28):
arrested her in her tracks.
I I have taken away so muchpower from her, but that's
because I acknowledge why she'sthere.
She's always there when I'm infear, when I feel powerless,
when I feel great bouts of grief, like losing my sister, which I
(36:51):
want to talk about, somethingyou can't control she'll show up
.
She'll have a whole bunch ofsuggestions about what I could
double down and do, how thin Icould get, how I could obsess
over escaping the life I'm in togo run off with someone else,
cause maybe then I'll feel alivebecause I feel so dead inside.
(37:12):
She'll make suggestions to tryto protect me, but they're not
in my best interest and I knowthat.
So I wait for the whisper of myintuition, for the whisper of
my intuition.
I can always feel thedifference, and that's the thing
(37:33):
when people ask these questions.
You know, how do you know?
How do you know, this is reallyimportant that we also try to
embody this.
It's not just a cerebral thingbecause as a dancer, I just a
(37:55):
cerebral thing because as adancer I I'm always checking in
with my body and our body isalways speaking to us.
So if I'm in fear and I'mruminating and obsessing,
because my controlling mind isshowing up to the party and
she's most likely going to sayif you don't fucking do this,
it's all going to fall apart, ifyou don't do this, you're an
idiot, and it makes mephysically feel tight,
(38:19):
constricted, anxious.
There's a physicalmanifestation of that because
really, on a nervous systemlevel, it's fight or flight.
Physical manifestation of thatbecause really, on a nervous
system level, it's fight orflight.
It's like, oh, my shit'sgetting real.
We got to fucking arm up, suitup, get ready to go to war.
They're coming Right.
(38:43):
And that's not it, that's notGod, that's not intuition,
that's not your most loving,patient, compassionate self,
it's not, because when that partof you shows up, it's the
opposite, it's a parasympatheticstate.
It comes in stillness.
So the people listening whodon't know how to be still, who
are afraid to sit still, you'rethe ones that need it the most
(39:04):
because you're missing out onyour God-given intuition, your
instinct, the thing that youhave, that you were born with,
that you exercised as a kid andthat at some point got silenced.
You got to know what that partof you has to say, or you don't
really fully know what you needand want in this life.
(39:26):
So you got to pay attention.
It's not just your head, it'syour body, it's your gut, it's
your heart.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, you know, it's a few things you mentioned.
You were talking about yourstory and how negative self-talk
, right?
Or you know that inner critic.
You say you knew that storyright.
And a lot of times a lot offolks are afraid of the
(39:54):
uncertainty with the other wayright, the positive way, the way
that's more self-loving.
They don't know what that islike.
So we continue to have thatinner critic or we just want to
stay comfortable in thisbehavior because we know, we
know where that story is goingto go.
Yeah, you know.
Hey, I'll bounce back and thenI'll, you know, sabotage and
(40:16):
then I'll bounce back and I knowhow that's going to go, right.
But if I actually go this way,I really don't know how that's
going to go.
And so the action is important.
But also to being uncomfortablewith I mean being comfortable
with uncertainty, right, it canbe tough, and when you feel,
(40:39):
when you're still and you areable to just spend time alone
with no distractions and nosocial media, and you're able to
just, like you said, hear thevoice of God, it's something
about that.
Even for myself, that first 10to 15 minutes of being still, I
(41:01):
got all these thoughts going onin my head and it's so uneasy
and it's so uncertain going onin my head and it's so uneasy
and it's so uncertain, and whenyou just continue to sit still,
all of a sudden, things getcalmer.
Things start to slow down.
I can hear that voice talk tome and show me my real,
(41:23):
authentic version of who I am,as opposed to authentic version
of who I am as opposed to, maybe, what I've built up.
Right, I don't know, you justsaid it.
You know I feel likeuncertainty, and controlling
(41:44):
what we can is kind of a anotherstage of growth.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Right, yeah, I there's of growth.
Right yeah, there's in adjunctto the way I've reinvented the
12-step process so that itresonates with me.
There's so much spiritualliterature that I read
(42:07):
constantly in a personal growthpodcast that I listened to.
And there's this guy, DavidGuillaume, who's a Kabbalah
master, and I recently heard himon Lewis house podcast and he
talks about certainty beyondlogic.
And he talks about certaintybeyond logic and I do think that
(42:29):
one of the scariest thingsabout going into recovery
initially was the God-centricnature of it and that I grew up
in a house where if you believedin God, you were an absolute
fool and the only person youcould count on is yourself.
So there's a lot of people likeme who have very sort of
atheist upbringings and orheavily Christian upbringings
(42:51):
where there's a punishing God,that come into the rooms and
hear that and are like hell.
No, because it undoeseverything that you learned that
kept you safe, and unlesseverything has fallen apart in
your life where you are primedto go has fallen apart in your
life where you are primed to go,I will take any suggestion to
(43:12):
turn this around.
You're going to run, and sothat was me in recovery like
running from doing the work.
I stayed abstinent but I wasrunning from any sort of
spirituality and I can saysafely now that probably the
greatest gift that I've beengiven in recovery is to learn
(43:33):
how to be comfortable in the notknowing.
I mean, that's what we'retalking about and every, every
human on earth is going toexperience uncertainty.
And so what?
(43:53):
What are we going to do when itshows up and you know, when I
started to do step one on mymarriage and it became step one
in AA is like you know, I'mpowerless over alcohol.
My life has become unmanageable.
At some point we get it.
You know, if you drink againyou're probably going to drink
to excess.
You might buy a bag of cocaine,you might end up overdosing and
(44:14):
dying like probably not a goodchoice for you.
But then what about thebusiness of living?
What does that step mean aboutthe business of living?
In my case, with the marriage,right.
That step mean about thebusiness of living, in my case,
with the marriage right.
Wait, what if I say I'mpowerless over my husband and
trying to change his mind andthe past and the future of the
marriage?
And and when I try to exertpower over him, my life becomes
(44:38):
unmanageable in the followingways I have my.
My peace of mind and worthinessis completely contingent on him
.
I'm constantly anxious aboutthe next right thing I'm going
to say to him to change his mind.
You know, and the list went on,and so that's like that was
like the beginning of step one.
But the second part of that,which is what we're talking
about, is, if that's all true,if every day that I wake up
(45:02):
cause now it's not the marriage,it's sending my children off to
school, so they're going to bea fucking school shooting, am I
going to get into a car accident?
Am I going to where's thescroll of the list of things
every 24 hours that I'mpowerless over, and when I'm
trying to obsess about itbecause it's not going my way,
(45:23):
and how bad that makes me feel.
Okay, I can see how that makesmy life unmanageable, but then
what do I have real power over?
What can I change?
So something as simple as I'mstuck in traffic.
When I'm someone who loves to beearly and that is true for me I
don't show up on time.
I show up early.
(45:43):
Now I'm on my way to animportant meeting and there's a
fucking traffic jam and I'mgoing to be late.
What I want to do is curl up ina ball and scream and honk the
horn and bring out my best innerNew Yorker and flip everyone
off right.
That's going to make me feelterrible.
(46:03):
It's not going to get me theresooner.
That's going to make me feelterrible.
It's not going to get me theresooner.
So I need to radicallysurrender.
There's literally nothing I cando about this.
What can I do?
Well, okay, let's start withthe logistics.
I can call the person who I'mon my way to see and just
communicate.
Hey, eta, was this?
(46:26):
It just increased.
Do you still want to have themeeting?
Uh, if so, I'll be.
I'll be able to be there atthis time.
So sorry about theinconvenience.
Cool, and then I'm stuck in thecar.
So do I use it as a time formoving meditation?
Do I keep the music off?
Do I roll the window down?
(46:46):
Do I just really witness what'scoming up for me?
Uh, do I call a friend that Imiss, that I'd like to check in
on?
Is there someone who I couldcall, who might need my help,
who I can serve by just being alistening ear?
Is there a podcast that's goingto give me new insight into how
(47:09):
I'm thinking and behaving andliving my life.
Every day we have anopportunity to practice
admitting to some extent what wecannot control and really
honing our skills over what wecan.
Speaker 1 (47:29):
Yeah, Letting go.
Let just let go of what wecan't control, because that's
the things that make us anxious.
Right, the things that we can'tcontrol.
That we try to control otherpeople other people's opinions
of us Right.
That we try to control Otherpeople other people's opinions
of us right?
These are things that we can'tcontrol, that we get anxious
(47:51):
about, as opposed to just saying, hey, I can't control it, let
go and let me focus on what Ican, and then you start to like
you did list a bunch of things.
That's right.
Put your energy towards, asopposed to this, right, yeah, do
(48:14):
you have you looking at you?
Right, you're you, you, you are, you feel very authentic, very
real, very various differentfacets right, you are in the
arts.
Right, also a doctor.
Right, these are so manydifferent facets that you have.
On the way of doing all thesethings, have you struggled with,
(48:38):
with the opinions of others,right?
Has that been a struggle foryou?
Speaker 2 (48:44):
Oh God, yeah, right.
Has that been a struggle foryou?
Oh god, yeah.
Uh, I think for sure, when Iwas actively pursuing dancing
and singing.
This is when I had, you know,my addiction was active.
I had no spiritual template forgetting through life, and so
(49:05):
the rejection of that industry,the compare and despair, was so
acute and really insufferable,which is another reason why
choosing academia for a timefelt so good, because I knew how
to thrive in that environment.
And I think there are layersand layers of letting go of what
(49:33):
the outside world thinks, andnone have been as profound as
losing my sister and, in thewake of that, whatever shackles
(49:54):
were still around me about whatI deserve to do, based on when
other people gave me the greenlight to do it they broke off,
so this whole.
you can't start a podcast yet.
(50:17):
Nobody knows who you are.
What are you doing?
Writing a book?
You're not a celebrity.
No one's going to buy it.
That's another form ofcomparison.
I've got to be this before Ican do that.
(50:50):
And now I'm not saying I'm freefrom it, right, Because here I
am talking to you, you with big,huge dreams of being one of the
greatest public speakers of alltime.
There is an element of thatthat is so out of my control.
(51:14):
In fact, as we speak, I've beenwaiting for almost two weeks to
find out if I booked a speakinggig, a paid speaking gig.
I will be lying if I said Ihaven't been thinking about it
every day.
Am I going to get it?
Are they going to pick me?
I want it bad, but thedifference is because of how
(51:38):
much work I've done on myself.
The truest part of me knows thisto be true.
If not this, then somethingelse.
If not now, soon.
I know in my bones that I'mgoing to be sharing these
(52:04):
messages to audiences on stages.
And if that's true, if I havecertainty beyond my logical mind
because my logical mind islooking for evidence really
You're going to sell outstadiums.
How do you figure?
How do you figure that's goingto happen, Sam.
But if I have certainty on asoul level, on a gut level, then
it doesn't actually matter ifthese people say yes or no,
(52:30):
because I know where I'm going.
I just don't need to know howor when or what it's going to
look like.
So are all the other parts ofme creeping up and going.
Are they going to pick me?
Are they going to pick me?
Are they going to pick me?
Of course, yes, A hundredpercent.
But so much more of me is likeit's all good girl, you are in
(53:01):
the running, your name is in thepot In January.
It's all happening In divinetiming.
You have evidence of this inyour life.
Speaker 1 (53:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:17):
Where it never went according to your plan Ever
Nothing if you look back, everand it was all good.
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Might have been even better right.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
That's right, and so I'm the freest that I've ever
been from that place, and Ithink loss can teach us how to
live more fully and more freelyIf we're brave enough to face
(53:52):
the pain of the loss, and thatis what it is doing for me.
But I would be lying if I saidit doesn't affect me.
Of course it does.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (54:04):
We don't graduate from our spiritual curriculum
here on earth.
We just have more opportunitiesto learn the next layer of
healing and growing.
That's it.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
Just the next layer, the next growth.
I love that.
Where I mean, I can't believehow jam-packed this episode has
been.
I feel like we've talked a lot,right, about so many different
things, and I think the mainconcept is stillness, awareness,
(54:43):
consciousness, understandingthat we all have struggles.
Right, we all have struggles.
How can we have the courage tolook within and take action from
a loving place, right?
Where can people find you?
(55:05):
Where can, where can folkscontinue to follow your story?
I want to, um, I just want togive you a shout out because I
feel like you know you are veryvulnerable, which is a
superpower, right, Especially intoday's world where we want to
just show our best self.
Everything has been perfect, Um, and you've been able to help a
(55:27):
lot of people, um, with yourvulnerability.
Where can people continue tofind your journey, hear your
story and, um, follow what youhave in?
Speaker 2 (55:38):
the future.
Yeah, I, I'm pretty much thesame across all social media
channels.
Which is Dr she put it in hername, guys Dr Dr Samantha Hart,
h-a-r-t-e.
So Instagram is probably thesocial media platform I'm the
most active on and you can justDM me.
And if you go on my website,which is the same
(56:00):
drsamanthahartcom, you can booka discovery call the same
drsamanthaheartcom.
You can book a discovery call.
Uh, you can click a link to getsent to the amazon page and get
my book and just learn aboutall the things that I'm doing.
Andi think you know we spoke atthe top of the conversation
about the two biggest passionpoints and they're coaching
(56:24):
other people in this containerthat is uniquely curated for
where they're at, and what thatmeans is, you know, the perfect
client wants to do mind, body,soul work with me, and having
the doctorate is an amazingasset to being able to create
(56:46):
programs that are based off ofscience to get the person fit to
be doing the physicalactivities that they really want
to be doing in their lifewithout injury.
But spiritually speaking, I usethe 12-step process on whatever
the pain point is in theperson's life.
It doesn't have to do anythingwith addiction, whatever the
pain point is in the person'slife.
It doesn't have to do anythingwith addiction.
(57:07):
You feel trapped in a job oryou're having trouble finding a
stable friendship and you'restuck in some cycle and you're
not even sure why or what it isor how to change it.
And that kind of work is someaningful to me.
It lights me on fire.
It really makes me feel likeI've taken my pain and
(57:27):
repurposed it, because I thinkthe gift of pain is what we do
with it and if we can use ourpain to help the next person
that's suffering, then it's notin vain.
It really feels not like it wasworth it, necessarily, but like
(57:51):
it matters.
Speaker 1 (57:52):
Yeah, it gives it purpose right, it really does.
Yeah, yeah.
And you know what I made amistake.
I meant to say Dr, dr, samanthaHart, even ina, right, I made a
mistake.
Speaker 2 (58:09):
I actually think it's really great that you did it.
It's so on topic witheverything we talked about.
I mean it's just epic.
Speaker 1 (58:18):
No, I love it.
Well, dr Samantha Hart, Iappreciate you coming on the
show.
This is a very powerful episode, so I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (58:30):
Thank you so much for having me, Josh.
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