May 16, 2025 • 37 mins
"James Serpico continues to share his journey from addiction to redemption, revealing how God transformed his heart, after completing their recovery program, and gave him purpose as the Director of Programming at America's Keswick."
• Started experimenting with alcohol at age 15 to alleviate social anxiety and fear
• Found painkillers in college which "killed" both physical and emotional pain
• Maintained weekend use for 10 years before progressing to daily dependence
• Eventually needed substances just to feel normal, not to get high
• Had a life-changing car accident on the NJ Turnpike after using contaminated drugs
• Called 911 and admitted his addiction, marking the beginning of his recovery
• Entered America's Keswick recovery program two weeks after the accident
• Transitioned from colony member to staff to Director of Programming
• Experienced significant loss including his father and mentor Robert Hayes
• Discovered that vulnerability and dependence on God are his true strengths
• Now uses his experience to help others find recovery through Christ
If you're struggling with addiction or know someone who is, James's story demonstrates that recovery is possible. Reach out to America's Keswick or another Christian recovery program to find the help you need.
Addiction Recovery at Keswick - https://addictionrecovery.org/
Barbara's Place - https://addictionrecovery.org/barbarasplace/relaunch/
America's Keswick - https://americaskeswick.org/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Lord, you know you will now listen to Plays on Word
Radio.
It's the best If God stoppedthere.
Took me from here to here.
Here's you before Keswick andhere's you at Keswick.
And I just hung out atAmerica's Keswick in Whitey, new
Jersey, in the Pine Barrens.
That'd be enough.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Trust me, that'd be enough.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
But he has not stopped anywhere close to there.
This is deep.
This is not environment.
This is not environment.
This is not a location.
This is a heart set and a heartlocation and a heart condition,
and so he has not stopped at myphysical location.
He is working on my heart.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You're the only name.
You're the only name.
You're the only name.
Hello and welcome to Plays onWord Radio, where we discuss,
(01:04):
analyze, work and play on theWord of God.
Thank you for joining us onthis excursion.
Today let's join Pastor Teddy,also known as Fred David Kenny
Jr, the founder of Plays on WordTheater, as he does a deep dive
into the Word of God.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Okay y'all.
Thank you very much, joshTaylor and Katie Kenny, for that
introduction.
We're going to continue ourinterview with the James Serpico
of America's Keswick.
Come on.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, about 15 years old, I was definitely taken by
got its hooks in me by alcoholand really it was like a
substance thing.
The alcohol was just, I thinkalcohol is convenient, and so it
was around and it was somethingas lighthearted as playing ping
(01:51):
pong with my brother anddrinking my parents' wine and
saying, man, this feels prettygood.
The next few things, next fewexperiences were being in a
social environment and saying,oh I don't, I don't have those
fears anymore.
This has alleviated, um, thefears of being around people.
(02:12):
I don't really care about whatthey think of me, I'm just gonna
say what, what comes to mind,and I was probably a fool a lot
of those times because I didn'tcare, yeah, but that's what I
felt and it alleviated thosefears and those stresses and the
anxieties, and so I think atthat point I was really hooked
in the idea or thought of if asubstance can give me, um, the
(02:36):
experience, the feeling of beingalleviated, of anxiety, then
I'm gonna, I'm gonna check thesethings out.
That was a big reason for me tocontinue going down that road of
of substances, of exploring andexperimenting with substances,
and pretty much each one that Ifound I was like okay, and
(02:57):
there's a fun aspect to it too.
There's a peer pressure aspectto it, there's a hanging out and
social acceptance aspect to it,um, but for me, I think the big
thing that led me down thatroad and I continued down that
road was because I was soanxious around people and it
just took that.
(03:17):
It took that fear away I wasinto.
I got into a differentheadspace, different mindset.
I found some that I didn'treally like, but at least it was
still something that wasdifferent from just me, just
James, being scared and anxiousand sober.
And then eventually, I foundone I really did that clicked,
and it was painkillers.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
That's a big deal with a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
It became huge right around that time too.
I was probably a freshmansophomore in college, and so
that was probably around 2002,2003, when we didn't know how
bad they were and how addictivethey were, and there was a lot
out there as well.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Doctors were prescribing it like it was a
candy or whatever yeah, takethey flooded the market so you
could get them everywhere.
And uh, oh, yeah, man that's a,that's a.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
that's a documentary out there.
That's the number ofdocumentaries.
But for as far as my personalstory, they were out there,
they're available and they whenyou talk about pain killers,
they definitely kill physicalpain, but they also do a lot to
emotional and mental pain andthey did that for me.
They I didn't have any, Ididn't have a broken bone, I
(04:37):
didn't have a hurt back, Ididn't have a bad knee.
I was in good shape, but I wasin really bad shape.
I had a broken heart and itfelt like it healed.
It felt like it administeredpain relief to my broken heart
and it did that in a way whereit took away the anxiety really
(04:59):
significantly and I felt morelike me than I had ever felt.
But I was on this pill, I wason this drug.
It was an opiate and all it wasdoing was releasing dopamine,
but in an unnatural way.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And I was really, really hooked and I did that for
a number of years only on theweekends.
I said I got this under control, I can handle it, but it was
just messy story.
You know, once a month, twice amonth, messy story, messy story
I'd still be drinking.
One thing led to another.
I, I held that.
I held that lifestyle togetherfor about 10 years and most
(05:40):
people that's that's amazing,that's really people are like
what?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
that must have been a lot of work it's very tiring.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, I bet, but the thing is too a lot of my friends
are doing the same thing.
So you get, you hang out with a, you hang out with a certain
crowd and you're just.
It's the norm, that's how it is.
But the fact that I didn't gethooked, uh, on a daily basis, I
think is the surprising thingbut that was just part of my
routine was I'm gonna use on theweekends and have fun, I'll go
(06:09):
and I'll go to work during theweek.
But that even was tearing at meand I eventually started using
on Thursdays.
And then the big turning pointwas I lost my job because I
wasn't showing up on time,because I didn't want to be
there.
I hated my job, I didn't likemy life and I wasn't using up on
time because I didn't want tobe there.
(06:30):
I hated my job, I didn't likemy life and I wasn't using, but
my sobriety was miserable.
Okay, and so eventually I gotfired and I was a good worker,
but I was doing stuff thatwasn't good.
I was showing up late and I wasleaving early, and that's
plenty to get someone fired.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, right there, those two things, that those are
pretty crucial you know.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And so I got fired and that I mentioned that
because at that point I Istarted being a personal trainer
and I had my own schedule, yeah, and I had my own apartment and
didn't really have anyonelooking after me or over me and
I said, yeah, let me use.
On a Monday, I'll have a fewbeers tonight, let me use.
(07:12):
And I think that first, likewhat I considered a weekday of
using, was like it just openedand I remember thinking I said,
if I do this, I think in likefive or six days in a row, it's
not going to be good, becausethen you got withdrawal to deal
with and I was absolutely right.
I started using and for thenext five years probably, I was
(07:36):
using every day If I had it, forthe next five years, if I had
opiates in the pill form and andeventually heroin, if I had
heroin in powder form, I nevershot anything into my veins,
thank the lord, because I knowthat's really dangerous.
But at this point today, if youyou could be around fentanyl and
(07:58):
you can have a reaction thatmight kill you, wow, oh yeah,
and so even just snort.
Yeah, there's cops that havetouched it and they have a
reaction that they have to go to.
They have to go to the hospitalliterally, and they're putting
all kinds of stuff in it.
These days it's so dangerous.
But if I didn't have pills orheroin, some sort of opiate, in
(08:21):
my system, I was withdrawing.
And if I did have it, I wasusing it as as quickly as I
could, um, to feel good.
I always wanted to feel high,but eventually got to a point
where I was just feeling normaloh man, wow, so you weren't even
getting high anymore, you'rejust like can I just get into
(08:42):
the baseline?
oh man, just to, just to be ableto function.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh my goodness, there's probably, there's
probably a lot of people nothopefully not listening to this
right now, but if you are, I'mgonna give you james's contact
please do.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I hope, I hope, I hope.
A lot of people are listeningyeah, yeah, yeah that's.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I mean that's, I know what you.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I know what you mean, because you hope that people
aren't going through that.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
That's what I mean.
But if they are, if they areright, there's a place where
they can.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Oh Lord, there's a place and there's a time, and it
is now to stop it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
So continue with this , because you were just trying
to break, just trying to getyour head to the above water,
not even trying to be high, justto get.
Okay, can I function?
I'm gonna have to take this tofunction.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yes and so I I was thinking about this recently
because I was sharing.
I'm married today.
It's just god has done so much.
Uh, it'll be two years marriedin august.
Amen, praiseth, amen, praisethe Lord, praise God.
I still counsel, I still goto—I counsel myself.
I go to a counselor yeah,hopefully, I'm counseling others
(09:51):
, but I still need counseling.
So I go to Pastor Noah whoworks here at Keswick and we
still process through things Iwas saying.
And just bringing up some oldstories and war stories are
never good if that's all youtalk about, but they are good to
remember where you came from,what god has brought me from.
And right, it got so desperatethat I mean just the lies alone,
(10:15):
because I was trying to hold mylife together.
I was trying to be one personin front of my parents, some of
my friends.
I did eventually start soreally quickly.
I want to say I grew up goingto church.
My dad would bring us to churchon the weekends.
My stepfather's a pastor tothis day.
From when he married my mom, hewas a pastor and he's a pastor
(10:36):
to this day.
We have a wonderfulrelationship.
But I say that to say that Ididn't know jesus.
I was just kind of followingthe leader and I was talking to
Pastor Noah about thedesperation of driving to go and
(10:56):
pick up the dealer, not havinganything that day.
Surprise, surprise, someonesaying they do have something
and never showing up just thelifestyle of a user and a pusher
.
And I'm not even judging them,I'm just saying there's just
that's what it is.
(11:17):
It's just what it is.
It's just a chaotic.
You know, my life was alreadychaotic and I said all right,
here we go, let's dive in thedeep, deep end of chaos and just
trying to get by in the worstpossible way.
And if god stopped there, if hestopped there took me from here
(11:40):
to here and said here's a,here's you?
Here to here?
And said here's a here's youbefore keswick and here's you at
keswick.
And I just hung out yeah,america's keswick and whitey,
new jersey, in the primaries.
Yeah, that'd be enough.
Yeah, but he has not stoppedanywhere close to there.
Yeah, yeah, this is deep.
This is not environment, thisis not a location, this is, this
(12:03):
is a heart.
Yeah, set in a heart locationand a heart um condition.
Yes, and so he has not stoppedat my physical location.
He is working on my heart and,uh, but it was rough.
It was rough for a long time.
(12:24):
Um, I got, I was alreadyisolated.
Yeah, I got more isolated.
Dangerous, it's part of thestory is I started going to AA.
So much of it was forappearances.
(12:44):
Right, I'll go to aaa becauseit looks good, sounds good.
Right, I'll stop drinkingbecause it looks good, it sounds
good, I'm not drinking anymore.
Didn't really talk about am Iusing heroin anymore, because
people didn't really know that Iwas doing that.
I went on suboxone.
If you don't know what that is,it's a drug to keep you from
withdrawing right.
So if you go off of opiates, ifyou go off of the pills or the
(13:07):
heroin, you're gonna feel sickyeah it's just what happens.
So you need there's methadone orthere's Suboxone.
You go from one drug to anotherdrug.
I was just a captive to thisother.
I was in bondage to this otherlittle orange pill that didn't
(13:30):
even make me feel all that good.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I was like, if I'm going to be, taking a pill.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Let me at least feel good.
That was part of the reason Iwas taking it, because I wanted
to feel better.
Yeah, now I'm just taking thispill, paying for it, going to
doctors visits, and what I didwas I made the decision now I'm
gonna take suboxone and I won'tbe sick, but I will still go and
drive and meet my dealer andpick up as often as I can
(13:53):
because I want to feel high too.
Yeah, yeah.
And so I think about the lastthree years.
That's what I was doing.
So there's five years of usingevery day, the last three
because I got caught forstealing, because I it takes
money to pay for drugs.
I got caught, came out to myparents, went on Suboxone and
for like the next three years, Idon't know how I made this
(14:15):
stuff last.
I don't know how I made thisstuff last.
I don't know how I prolongedthis lifestyle.
But man, time just rolls, tellsme something that I can do.
That's like in my sobriety,that I'm perseverant, that I can
like push through things if Ireally dedicate myself to it.
That even speaks to me, where Iwas dedicated to my drug use and
(14:36):
I was dedicated to my addiction.
If I can take that dedicationand put it towards the Lord,
what's the possibilities arereally big time.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
He built you a certain way, man, and it's good.
Now you're realizing yourfullest potential in him
realizing your fullest potentialin him.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I think a lot of people, when they uh, get sober
and I don't mean I don't meanthat specifically to substances
or or pornography like sobrietyis across the board.
Yeah, it is.
If we have an idol, um, you can.
You can get sober from tv, youcan get sober from food, you can
get sober from people.
And so when, when people getsober, I think they think
sometimes that they have tochange entirely.
(15:22):
But, like you said, god made mea certain way and he's a God
that uses everything.
Yeah, yeah.
And so if I found a way to bededicated, if I can think in my
mind I did all that to get drugs, well then, now I care about
this, that I can take thatexperience and say, no, I'm
(15:43):
going to turn it this way andrefocus it and really dedicate
myself to the Lord, and it'ssomething that I truly believe
in.
And so I was on Suboxone forabout three years.
I was thinking I had everyonefooled.
The only one I had fooled wasmyself.
And uh, eventually I picked upa, um, I guess like a dirty bag,
(16:05):
whatever you want to call it.
Oh no, and I I used it.
I used to use because I droveabout an hour to pick up and I
used to use on the drive homeand I used and it went right to
my system, oh no, and I crashedmy car.
Whoa yep what happened?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
you, you like, passed out, or it was?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
uh, the, the reaction I had was like a whiteout.
I wouldn't call it a blackout,it was like a whiteout, like I
couldn't breathe, at the extremeof a panic attack.
Oh man, and I crashed my car onthe new jersey turnpike, going
from the Turnpike to the parkway.
Oh, exit 11?
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Up there.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Exactly yes.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
I know it.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Right on the connection, whatever they call
that.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Oh no, you crashed your car over there.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I hit the curb and in my mind I thought I told them
my car Never even got out of thecar.
I tried to think of ways that Icould get out of it and
eventually car I tried to thinkof ways that I could get out of
it and eventually I had thepeace that goes beyond
understanding.
Oh, because in that carprobably the worst position
condition I've ever been in inmy life I said no more like this
(17:09):
is not gonna go any further.
I took the rest of the drugs Ithrew them up.
No, I didn't even throw out thewindow, I left them in my middle
console and I called 911.
And they came and a cop cameand he came to the door and I
told him what I had done, what Ihad used.
They put me on a gurney, theyput me in the ambulance, took me
to the hospital.
(17:30):
I handed the drugs to the copand I do remember, throughout
this, like this, what was goingon.
I don't remember beingcompletely naive or ignorant to
the truth of it, but they askedme to take a blood test and a
urine test and I did that.
So they had everything on me tomake sure that I was guilty of
(17:52):
what was actually taking place.
And the next morning so I was inthe hospital in, uh, uh, I
believe, like raritan medicalcenter, something like that,
right up by the twin bridgesthere, by like woodbridge, oh
yeah, rattan bridge, and, um, Iremember the nurse, I think I
(18:14):
the next morning I was, I wasreally desperate and crying and
I believe she either prayed withme or told me God loves me.
I remember that.
Wow, very kind nurse, andhospitals these days and some of
the nurses are not so kind itcan be very routine and very
businesslike, but I remember onein particular.
She definitely comforted me.
(18:38):
It's amazing you don't rememberlike the physical medicine that
eases pain, but you remembersomebody saying you know god
loves you no doubt about it andthat was better than, like
probably any physical medicinethey could have given you and
she said that right before I hadto call my parents to tell them
what happened, and they were onvacation.
Can you imagine that they wereon vacation?
Can you imagine that they're onvacation?
(18:58):
And they already knew threeyears prior that I had a problem
and my life was really in a badplace, but they were hopeful
that I was moving in the rightdirection.
They were praying for you too,weren't they?
They were praying.
Oh my goodness, my parents areprayer warriors.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
So you can see God's hand in this whole thing here.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Look at my family.
Parents are prayer warriors, soyou can see God's hand in this
whole thing here.
Look at my family.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I say, man, it's held together by prayer.
Amen, amen, oh man.
This should encourage any ofyou parents out there that have
a child that's maybe not walkingwith the Lord at the moment.
Do not stop praying, don't stop.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Do not stop.
And so I called them and toldthem for the second time I told
them, actually for the firsttime really what was going on.
And I told them everything thatwas going on.
And I remember talking to mystepfather, pastor Al.
He said you got to do somethingbigger than go on a pill or go
into meetings.
You got to do something serious.
(19:57):
And I called, called, I calledaround.
I probably had the mostintentional few weeks of my life
, my the diligence of callingand saying, yeah, this is the,
this is serious.
I called every rehabilitationcenter.
I wrote down notes, I tooknotes.
I probably have the notessomewhere in one of my uh
(20:19):
storage things but I eventuallygot to a place where there was
two options team challenge oramerica's keswick and I talked
to four people, uh, who had beenthrough either or and one that
had been through both, and Ilanded on america's keswick to
come here April and two weeksafter the accident I was in the
(20:39):
doors.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Okay Room 18, top bunk.
So wait a second.
So two weeks, and possiblywithin two and a half weeks or
maybe three weeks after.
That's when we met After theaccident, so the accident was
fresh when I met you.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Probably within a month of the accident.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
I did not know this.
This is amazing, wow, oh man.
Hey, you know.
Just another little backsidestory on this we prayed me and
Katie, and I want to say Roy butwe prayed for the colony
(21:18):
members and we prayed for thepeople that the Lord would bring
out and we prayed for thethings that the guys are going
through.
And there were some distinctprayers that were, you know,
just, and we always do that.
But I remember I don't know ifthat's where it started, but I
remember praying distinctly forthe that's where it started but
I remember praying, uh,distinctly for the, for the
(21:40):
calling members and the onesthat are struggling, and that
the lord would really breakthrough and then not only bring
them back to, to baseline of ofzero, of being free from
everything, but then go forwardto take them, to elevate them
and use them.
Uh, that's one of the prayersthat I continue to this day that
(22:00):
the Lord would.
When I pray for somebody, theLord would not only save them,
but don't just save them, savethem and then use them mightily,
give them a ministry thatimpacts multitudes.
Yeah, praise the Lord, you know.
So I anyway.
It's just amazing to be on thisend of the timeline hearing
your story and seeing how theLord had us play a small part in
(22:25):
that man, that was fantastic.
So continue.
I'm sorry, I just wanted toinsert that In response to that.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
thank, you, amen, amen.
I think what's left of thestory is we already talked about
some trauma stuff, but so I washere, I was hired, and I was
hired as a staff member, comingout of internship in January.
(22:53):
Let me make sure I got my mathright 2021, I believe Okay, and
it, I believe Okay, and it's2025 right now.
So it was four years as a staffmember, this most recent
January, and I was hired underthe direction of Robert Hayes.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yep, he's with the Lord.
He was the director ofprogramming here prior to me and
he was the artist in residencespectacular piano player.
Oh my goodness, his wife is awonderful singer, yes, and man,
it just even makes me think.
I just want to even rewind alittle bit back because I
(23:33):
remember hearing people tell melike when you become a Christian
, it gets hard, it getsdifficult.
I didn't know what that meant.
I think it will be differentfor everyone because everyone's
life is different.
But in terms of experiences, Istarted to experience some
significant loss where I had twofriends pass away in really
(23:59):
devastating ways, I want to say,before I was hired, maybe the
one was just after I was hired.
So those were really difficultand really painful experiences.
And to be sober and I was soberfrom my father's death, but to
be sober and with the lord, uh,through death, uh, is, is it's
(24:29):
different.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
It's a different thing.
Yes, different.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I don't even want to put the pretty words on it.
I mean it's very good.
God is so good, he makeseverything good but it's
different from just being alone.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
And we have hope.
We have an indestructible hope.
We have a hope that's.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
That is not that the world doesn't have.
Amen, that's right.
And so so I mentioned thatbecause robert, my boss and my
friend who took me under hiswing from basically the start
and had me dressing up as thetime traveler during the summer
conference season that's whereit all started in programming
(25:10):
for me, and he was diagnosedwith cancer shortly after I was
hired.
And I say to myself what ishappening?
Wow, how could this be right?
And I still ask myself that.
But the next, the followingOctober, he passed away of
(25:32):
pancreatic cancer.
And I know you and I we'resitting here mourning that right
now and we miss Robert.
You know as much, as as much aswhen he left us the first day
and they named me the directorshortly thereafter.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Wow, they said what?
And some days.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I still say what, but I don't know if I've ever been
more comfortable in thisposition and I say comfortable,
meaning confident in the Lord,yes, knowing that he has me in
the right place at the righttime for the right reasons, in
(26:20):
the right place at the righttime, for the right reasons, and
that's to share his love witheveryone that I come in contact
with.
And uh, robert's in a goodplace, my dad's in a good place.
They're both believers, amen.
And for those of you that mightquestion, well, my loved one
wasn't a believer.
What's up with that?
First of all, I'm sorry.
Second of all, I don't knowexactly, but I do know God is
good and fair, right, and he hasanswers that I can't give you
(26:44):
outside of the general statement, but it's a beautiful statement
that he's good and he loves youright now, right here.
I was praying this morning formy aunt who is pretty much days
away from passing from cancer.
Okay, I said god, help her.
She has breath in her lungs,help her, yeah, and so that's
(27:08):
all.
That's all we have, and that'sall we need is our father, who's
good, who's done everything onHis end to send His only Son for
our sake, to save us from ourown brokenness and sinfulness
and selfishness, and all thebrokenness and sinfulness and
(27:31):
selfishness that exists aroundus, that he did all that for our
sake.
Man that's a good reason to talkto Him and pray to him.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Amen to that.
You said something interesting.
You said you know you'refeeling confident in this
position.
You know, I find the weakerthat we understand ourselves to
be, the stronger and moreconfident we actually become.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
And it's because the source of our confidence is not
from within us, but it's fromwithin, it's him.
And so the more dependent onhim, the weaker we recognize
that we are.
Exponentially, our strengthincreases because our strength,
(28:21):
uh, is powered by him, not us,and it's almost as if we, uh, we
, can hinder the power of him bythinking that we are something
greater than than we actuallyare, you know, and so a lamp is
pretty.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
A lamp is pretty weak if it's not plugged in, right.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Well, there you go, there you go.
That's it.
It's got to have the power.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
If the light thinks that it is shining light but
it's not and it's not plugged in, then it's kind of bad.
Yeah, there's a scripture thatsays if your light is dark.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, how dark is that darkness in you?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
oh, yeah, yeah, I was um, I was yesterday, this, the
earlier this week.
I was very stressed um life ingeneral.
I think can be strut, can bestressful, um, but there's, as
the programming director andeven just anyone really working
at keswick, there's just a lotgoing on and I couldn't pinpoint
(29:25):
it exactly.
But I'm like man, I'm feelingstressed yeah and I reached out
to my administration team and Isaid I'm really feeling stressed
.
This is what's happening atwork a little bit, this is
what's happening in family lifea little bit, but there's I'm
sure there's other stuff.
Can you please pray for me?
And they did, and I had a fewpeople say, man, I can relate.
(29:47):
So that's nice that you haveother people saying yeah kind of
going through the same thing.
That helps, but just theirprayer.
You ever, you ever ask forprayer and you can feel it.
Yeah, yeah, you can feel theweight.
Yeah, be lifted, and it's notalways immediate, sometimes it
is.
But, man, it was like, it waslike the weight just started and
(30:07):
I looked around.
I was like man, I'm still alittle tired, I'm still a little
bit stressed, but not anywhereclose to what I was.
And I made it to the end of theday yesterday and a woman, one
of our guests, had locked herkeys in the car and I hung out
for about half an hour, whereasif I'm stressed, man, I'm like,
good luck with that, I'm out.
So praise the Lord for prayer,um, for the fellowship of the
(30:36):
saints and for like, for, likeyou said, like you said, when
I'm weak, then I'm strong.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
That's it, man.
Yeah, that is it we have.
You know, we, we fightspiritual battles, uh, and I
think not that every, noteverything, is from the enemy
and not everything is aspiritual battle.
You know, if you run out of gason the road, that's not that
Satan didn't drain your gas tank.
That means you didn't fill itup, you didn't put any gas in
(31:03):
your gas tank.
Yeah, you know, we blame theenemy for a lot of stuff, but,
having said that, there isabsolutely an element of
spiritual warfare that's goingon and we're told to put on the
armor of God and, at the end ofit, praying in the Spirit, man
and prayer is firing the winningshot.
(31:24):
Prayer is the first and thelast thing that we should be
doing and, uh, many times theagitation and stress and worry
and concern and fear, even fear,can cripple people.
The even the fear, uh is iscoming from the opposite team in
(31:46):
order to disrupt our walk andour peace and our joy in the
lord, and uh, so they have avested interest in that, and
that's why, when you findyourself in a stressed out
position, not even sure why,it's paramount that you get
somebody to pray for you to getinto the spiritual realm of
(32:11):
firing some spiritual missilesback.
How it all works, we don't know, but it's artillery man, and so
I'm a big fan of requestingprayer when I'm feeling a little
bit stressed or feeling.
But that's not natural.
The natural, my natural defaultis no, I got this, I'm just
(32:31):
going to get by myself and bookup with it.
You know what I mean.
I'm going to pull up thebootstraps, that's it, and but
that is the wrong way to goabout it.
So I have to, I have to resortto my training my, you know my
practice in this spiritualwarfare rather than my default
natural setting of no.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
I got this.
I'm just going to get alone fora little bit.
One of my friends told me thatmy superpower is vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Wow, it's true, I mean half the time I preach at
the colony, which has been anhonor because Keswick is so
amazing to have invited me andallowed me to preach the word of
god at the colony of mercychapel.
Yeah, I mean half the time Iend up crying yeah, yeah, yeah,
I believe it.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
It's important, man, I mean, and the the
vulnerability is, is asuperpower, and that goes
against everything the worldwill tell you that's right.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
counter, cultural, counterintuitive, which is such
a good thing, because most ofthe stuff I think and do, or at
least want to do, is not good.
I need a counter, amen.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Amen to that.
Thank you for being on Plays onWord Radio.
This is not the last timeyou'll be on.
We're going to get you back on.
We absolutely love thisinterview with you and it's been
a long time in the making,going back to 2019, april 2nd
2019.
Amen, amen, that's right.
So, yeah, we're interested inhearing the rest of the story
(34:05):
and whatever the good Lord isdoing, because we didn't even
get into the fact you gotmarried, right.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yep, praise the Lord man.
That's a whole life change.
There's more where that camefrom.
We're going to have to continuethis interview at some point,
but thank you.
Why don't you close us inprayer, bro?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Yeah, let's pray Father, thankyou, lord, for this day.
God, lord, you're a God of oneday at a time, while also being
within yourself, lord, a God ofeternity, and that is
(34:44):
mind-blowing, lord, it's soawesome that we don't have to be
concerned, lord, with eternity.
God, the Lord with eternity,god, we can be comforted that
that you exist and you'reconcerned and you, lord, are in
control and sovereign andprovide for eternity, god.
(35:06):
And so that gives us theopportunity gives me my friend,
pastor Kenny Lord, to to bepresent, lord, to live in the
moment, live one day at a time,or to not worry.
And so thank you for that.
(35:28):
Lord Jesus, you give every goodFather, and help us to have
eyes to see the gifts.
Lord, even just recently in mylife, lord, just walking in
nature and breathing fresh air,lord, and it's not just nature
(35:50):
and fresh air, Lord, sometimesjust going to the supermarket
and just being alive, god issuch a gift, and it's all
because of you, lord, because inthe past I was trying to have
everything else, god, and all Iwas doing was killing myself.
And so thank you for that, forboth of us, lord, and our
listeners.
And Lord, I pray that, ifthere's anyone listening, lord,
and even for those that aren't,god, your prayers, our prayers
(36:13):
to you go beyond what we canfathom, lord.
So I just pray, god, for thosethat are struggling, lord, for
their hearts to be touched.
Lord, for a seed to be plantedand for it to start to grow in
them.
Lord, a conviction, lord, anidea, a thought, belief, faith,
truth.
Lord, that you're good withinall the badness of the world,
(36:37):
lord of each day, that you'regood and you're the only hope
that we have.
You're the only thing we canhold on to, the rock that we can
stand on and build our livesupon, lord.
And when any sort of storm comes, lord, that it stays true, lord
, and that we can do that,beginning with ourselves.
Lord, that we can do that forothers, lord.
(36:57):
And so thanks for this time,god, we bless you.
Lord, your word says I blessthe Lord O my soul, and so we
bless you with our souls, lord,because you're worthy of
blessing and honor and praise.
Lord, we love you.
God, bring people to Keswick,lord, whether it be to the
Colony or Barber's Place orthrough the Conference Ministry,
(37:18):
lord, so that your name can bea bigger and greater and
glorified Lord on this earththat you created.
We love you and thank you InJesus' name amen.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Amen, amen.
Thank you, my brother, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
This program was made possible by the Plays on Word
family of supporters.
To find out more, check out ourwebsite at playsonwordorg.
Lord, you know you will now listen to Plays on Word
Radio.
It's the best If God stoppedthere.
Took me from here to here.
Here's you before Keswick andhere's you at Keswick.
And I just hung out atAmerica's Keswick in Whitey, new
Jersey, in the Pine Barrens.
That'd be enough.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Trust me, that'd be enough.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
But he has not stopped anywhere close to there.
This is deep.
This is not environment.
This is not environment.
This is not a location.
This is a heart set and a heartlocation and a heart condition,
and so he has not stopped at myphysical location.
He is working on my heart.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
You're the only name.
You're the only name.
You're the only name.
Hello and welcome to Plays onWord Radio, where we discuss,
(01:04):
analyze, work and play on theWord of God.
Thank you for joining us onthis excursion.
Today let's join Pastor Teddy,also known as Fred David Kenny
Jr, the founder of Plays on WordTheater, as he does a deep dive
into the Word of God.
Speaker 3 (01:21):
Okay y'all.
Thank you very much, joshTaylor and Katie Kenny, for that
introduction.
We're going to continue ourinterview with the James Serpico
of America's Keswick.
Come on.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
Yeah, about 15 years old, I was definitely taken by
got its hooks in me by alcoholand really it was like a
substance thing.
The alcohol was just, I thinkalcohol is convenient, and so it
was around and it was somethingas lighthearted as playing ping
(01:51):
pong with my brother anddrinking my parents' wine and
saying, man, this feels prettygood.
The next few things, next fewexperiences were being in a
social environment and saying,oh I don't, I don't have those
fears anymore.
This has alleviated, um, thefears of being around people.
(02:12):
I don't really care about whatthey think of me, I'm just gonna
say what, what comes to mind,and I was probably a fool a lot
of those times because I didn'tcare, yeah, but that's what I
felt and it alleviated thosefears and those stresses and the
anxieties, and so I think atthat point I was really hooked
in the idea or thought of if asubstance can give me, um, the
(02:36):
experience, the feeling of beingalleviated, of anxiety, then
I'm gonna, I'm gonna check thesethings out.
That was a big reason for me tocontinue going down that road of
of substances, of exploring andexperimenting with substances,
and pretty much each one that Ifound I was like okay, and
(02:57):
there's a fun aspect to it too.
There's a peer pressure aspectto it, there's a hanging out and
social acceptance aspect to it,um, but for me, I think the big
thing that led me down thatroad and I continued down that
road was because I was soanxious around people and it
just took that.
(03:17):
It took that fear away I wasinto.
I got into a differentheadspace, different mindset.
I found some that I didn'treally like, but at least it was
still something that wasdifferent from just me, just
James, being scared and anxiousand sober.
And then eventually, I foundone I really did that clicked,
and it was painkillers.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
That's a big deal with a lot of people.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
It became huge right around that time too.
I was probably a freshmansophomore in college, and so
that was probably around 2002,2003, when we didn't know how
bad they were and how addictivethey were, and there was a lot
out there as well.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
Doctors were prescribing it like it was a
candy or whatever yeah, takethey flooded the market so you
could get them everywhere.
And uh, oh, yeah, man that's a,that's a.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
that's a documentary out there.
That's the number ofdocumentaries.
But for as far as my personalstory, they were out there,
they're available and they whenyou talk about pain killers,
they definitely kill physicalpain, but they also do a lot to
emotional and mental pain andthey did that for me.
They I didn't have any, Ididn't have a broken bone, I
(04:37):
didn't have a hurt back, Ididn't have a bad knee.
I was in good shape, but I wasin really bad shape.
I had a broken heart and itfelt like it healed.
It felt like it administeredpain relief to my broken heart
and it did that in a way whereit took away the anxiety really
(04:59):
significantly and I felt morelike me than I had ever felt.
But I was on this pill, I wason this drug.
It was an opiate and all it wasdoing was releasing dopamine,
but in an unnatural way.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:15):
And I was really, really hooked and I did that for
a number of years only on theweekends.
I said I got this under control, I can handle it, but it was
just messy story.
You know, once a month, twice amonth, messy story, messy story
I'd still be drinking.
One thing led to another.
I, I held that.
I held that lifestyle togetherfor about 10 years and most
(05:40):
people that's that's amazing,that's really people are like
what?
Speaker 3 (05:44):
that must have been a lot of work it's very tiring.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, I bet, but the thing is too a lot of my friends
are doing the same thing.
So you get, you hang out with a, you hang out with a certain
crowd and you're just.
It's the norm, that's how it is.
But the fact that I didn't gethooked, uh, on a daily basis, I
think is the surprising thingbut that was just part of my
routine was I'm gonna use on theweekends and have fun, I'll go
(06:09):
and I'll go to work during theweek.
But that even was tearing at meand I eventually started using
on Thursdays.
And then the big turning pointwas I lost my job because I
wasn't showing up on time,because I didn't want to be
there.
I hated my job, I didn't likemy life and I wasn't using up on
time because I didn't want tobe there.
(06:30):
I hated my job, I didn't likemy life and I wasn't using, but
my sobriety was miserable.
Okay, and so eventually I gotfired and I was a good worker,
but I was doing stuff thatwasn't good.
I was showing up late and I wasleaving early, and that's
plenty to get someone fired.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, right there, those two things, that those are
pretty crucial you know.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
And so I got fired and that I mentioned that
because at that point I Istarted being a personal trainer
and I had my own schedule, yeah, and I had my own apartment and
didn't really have anyonelooking after me or over me and
I said, yeah, let me use.
On a Monday, I'll have a fewbeers tonight, let me use.
(07:12):
And I think that first, likewhat I considered a weekday of
using, was like it just openedand I remember thinking I said,
if I do this, I think in likefive or six days in a row, it's
not going to be good, becausethen you got withdrawal to deal
with and I was absolutely right.
I started using and for thenext five years probably, I was
(07:36):
using every day If I had it, forthe next five years, if I had
opiates in the pill form and andeventually heroin, if I had
heroin in powder form, I nevershot anything into my veins,
thank the lord, because I knowthat's really dangerous.
But at this point today, if youyou could be around fentanyl and
(07:58):
you can have a reaction thatmight kill you, wow, oh yeah,
and so even just snort.
Yeah, there's cops that havetouched it and they have a
reaction that they have to go to.
They have to go to the hospitalliterally, and they're putting
all kinds of stuff in it.
These days it's so dangerous.
But if I didn't have pills orheroin, some sort of opiate, in
(08:21):
my system, I was withdrawing.
And if I did have it, I wasusing it as as quickly as I
could, um, to feel good.
I always wanted to feel high,but eventually got to a point
where I was just feeling normaloh man, wow, so you weren't even
getting high anymore, you'rejust like can I just get into
(08:42):
the baseline?
oh man, just to, just to be ableto function.
Speaker 3 (08:45):
Oh my goodness, there's probably, there's
probably a lot of people nothopefully not listening to this
right now, but if you are, I'mgonna give you james's contact
please do.
Speaker 1 (08:55):
I hope, I hope, I hope.
A lot of people are listeningyeah, yeah, yeah that's.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
I mean that's, I know what you.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
I know what you mean, because you hope that people
aren't going through that.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
That's what I mean.
But if they are, if they areright, there's a place where
they can.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Oh Lord, there's a place and there's a time, and it
is now to stop it's not easy.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
So continue with this , because you were just trying
to break, just trying to getyour head to the above water,
not even trying to be high, justto get.
Okay, can I function?
I'm gonna have to take this tofunction.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yes and so I I was thinking about this recently
because I was sharing.
I'm married today.
It's just god has done so much.
Uh, it'll be two years marriedin august.
Amen, praiseth, amen, praisethe Lord, praise God.
I still counsel, I still goto—I counsel myself.
I go to a counselor yeah,hopefully, I'm counseling others
(09:51):
, but I still need counseling.
So I go to Pastor Noah whoworks here at Keswick and we
still process through things Iwas saying.
And just bringing up some oldstories and war stories are
never good if that's all youtalk about, but they are good to
remember where you came from,what god has brought me from.
And right, it got so desperatethat I mean just the lies alone,
(10:15):
because I was trying to hold mylife together.
I was trying to be one personin front of my parents, some of
my friends.
I did eventually start soreally quickly.
I want to say I grew up goingto church.
My dad would bring us to churchon the weekends.
My stepfather's a pastor tothis day.
From when he married my mom, hewas a pastor and he's a pastor
(10:36):
to this day.
We have a wonderfulrelationship.
But I say that to say that Ididn't know jesus.
I was just kind of followingthe leader and I was talking to
Pastor Noah about thedesperation of driving to go and
(10:56):
pick up the dealer, not havinganything that day.
Surprise, surprise, someonesaying they do have something
and never showing up just thelifestyle of a user and a pusher
.
And I'm not even judging them,I'm just saying there's just
that's what it is.
(11:17):
It's just what it is.
It's just a chaotic.
You know, my life was alreadychaotic and I said all right,
here we go, let's dive in thedeep, deep end of chaos and just
trying to get by in the worstpossible way.
And if god stopped there, if hestopped there took me from here
(11:40):
to here and said here's a,here's you?
Here to here?
And said here's a here's youbefore keswick and here's you at
keswick.
And I just hung out yeah,america's keswick and whitey,
new jersey, in the primaries.
Yeah, that'd be enough.
Yeah, but he has not stoppedanywhere close to there.
Yeah, yeah, this is deep.
This is not environment, thisis not a location, this is, this
(12:03):
is a heart.
Yeah, set in a heart locationand a heart um condition.
Yes, and so he has not stoppedat my physical location.
He is working on my heart and,uh, but it was rough.
It was rough for a long time.
(12:24):
Um, I got, I was alreadyisolated.
Yeah, I got more isolated.
Dangerous, it's part of thestory is I started going to AA.
So much of it was forappearances.
(12:44):
Right, I'll go to aaa becauseit looks good, sounds good.
Right, I'll stop drinkingbecause it looks good, it sounds
good, I'm not drinking anymore.
Didn't really talk about am Iusing heroin anymore, because
people didn't really know that Iwas doing that.
I went on suboxone.
If you don't know what that is,it's a drug to keep you from
withdrawing right.
So if you go off of opiates, ifyou go off of the pills or the
(13:07):
heroin, you're gonna feel sickyeah it's just what happens.
So you need there's methadone orthere's Suboxone.
You go from one drug to anotherdrug.
I was just a captive to thisother.
I was in bondage to this otherlittle orange pill that didn't
(13:30):
even make me feel all that good.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
I was like, if I'm going to be, taking a pill.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
Let me at least feel good.
That was part of the reason Iwas taking it, because I wanted
to feel better.
Yeah, now I'm just taking thispill, paying for it, going to
doctors visits, and what I didwas I made the decision now I'm
gonna take suboxone and I won'tbe sick, but I will still go and
drive and meet my dealer andpick up as often as I can
(13:53):
because I want to feel high too.
Yeah, yeah.
And so I think about the lastthree years.
That's what I was doing.
So there's five years of usingevery day, the last three
because I got caught forstealing, because I it takes
money to pay for drugs.
I got caught, came out to myparents, went on Suboxone and
for like the next three years, Idon't know how I made this
(14:15):
stuff last.
I don't know how I made thisstuff last.
I don't know how I prolongedthis lifestyle.
But man, time just rolls, tellsme something that I can do.
That's like in my sobriety,that I'm perseverant, that I can
like push through things if Ireally dedicate myself to it.
That even speaks to me, where Iwas dedicated to my drug use and
(14:36):
I was dedicated to my addiction.
If I can take that dedicationand put it towards the Lord,
what's the possibilities arereally big time.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
He built you a certain way, man, and it's good.
Now you're realizing yourfullest potential in him
realizing your fullest potentialin him.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
I think a lot of people, when they uh, get sober
and I don't mean I don't meanthat specifically to substances
or or pornography like sobrietyis across the board.
Yeah, it is.
If we have an idol, um, you can.
You can get sober from tv, youcan get sober from food, you can
get sober from people.
And so when, when people getsober, I think they think
sometimes that they have tochange entirely.
(15:22):
But, like you said, god made mea certain way and he's a God
that uses everything.
Yeah, yeah.
And so if I found a way to bededicated, if I can think in my
mind I did all that to get drugs, well then, now I care about
this, that I can take thatexperience and say, no, I'm
(15:43):
going to turn it this way andrefocus it and really dedicate
myself to the Lord, and it'ssomething that I truly believe
in.
And so I was on Suboxone forabout three years.
I was thinking I had everyonefooled.
The only one I had fooled wasmyself.
And uh, eventually I picked upa, um, I guess like a dirty bag,
(16:05):
whatever you want to call it.
Oh no, and I I used it.
I used to use because I droveabout an hour to pick up and I
used to use on the drive homeand I used and it went right to
my system, oh no, and I crashedmy car.
Whoa yep what happened?
Speaker 3 (16:21):
you, you like, passed out, or it was?
Speaker 1 (16:24):
uh, the, the reaction I had was like a whiteout.
I wouldn't call it a blackout,it was like a whiteout, like I
couldn't breathe, at the extremeof a panic attack.
Oh man, and I crashed my car onthe new jersey turnpike, going
from the Turnpike to the parkway.
Oh, exit 11?
Speaker 3 (16:39):
Up there.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
Exactly yes.
Speaker 3 (16:41):
I know it.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
Right on the connection, whatever they call
that.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
Oh no, you crashed your car over there.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I hit the curb and in my mind I thought I told them
my car Never even got out of thecar.
I tried to think of ways that Icould get out of it and
eventually car I tried to thinkof ways that I could get out of
it and eventually I had thepeace that goes beyond
understanding.
Oh, because in that carprobably the worst position
condition I've ever been in inmy life I said no more like this
(17:09):
is not gonna go any further.
I took the rest of the drugs Ithrew them up.
No, I didn't even throw out thewindow, I left them in my middle
console and I called 911.
And they came and a cop cameand he came to the door and I
told him what I had done, what Ihad used.
They put me on a gurney, theyput me in the ambulance, took me
to the hospital.
(17:30):
I handed the drugs to the copand I do remember, throughout
this, like this, what was goingon.
I don't remember beingcompletely naive or ignorant to
the truth of it, but they askedme to take a blood test and a
urine test and I did that.
So they had everything on me tomake sure that I was guilty of
(17:52):
what was actually taking place.
And the next morning so I was inthe hospital in, uh, uh, I
believe, like raritan medicalcenter, something like that,
right up by the twin bridgesthere, by like woodbridge, oh
yeah, rattan bridge, and, um, Iremember the nurse, I think I
(18:14):
the next morning I was, I wasreally desperate and crying and
I believe she either prayed withme or told me God loves me.
I remember that.
Wow, very kind nurse, andhospitals these days and some of
the nurses are not so kind itcan be very routine and very
businesslike, but I remember onein particular.
She definitely comforted me.
(18:38):
It's amazing you don't rememberlike the physical medicine that
eases pain, but you remembersomebody saying you know god
loves you no doubt about it andthat was better than, like
probably any physical medicinethey could have given you and
she said that right before I hadto call my parents to tell them
what happened, and they were onvacation.
Can you imagine that they wereon vacation?
Can you imagine that they're onvacation?
(18:58):
And they already knew threeyears prior that I had a problem
and my life was really in a badplace, but they were hopeful
that I was moving in the rightdirection.
They were praying for you too,weren't they?
They were praying.
Oh my goodness, my parents areprayer warriors.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
So you can see God's hand in this whole thing here.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
Look at my family.
Parents are prayer warriors, soyou can see God's hand in this
whole thing here.
Look at my family.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
I say, man, it's held together by prayer.
Amen, amen, oh man.
This should encourage any ofyou parents out there that have
a child that's maybe not walkingwith the Lord at the moment.
Do not stop praying, don't stop.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Do not stop.
And so I called them and toldthem for the second time I told
them, actually for the firsttime really what was going on.
And I told them everything thatwas going on.
And I remember talking to mystepfather, pastor Al.
He said you got to do somethingbigger than go on a pill or go
into meetings.
You got to do something serious.
(19:57):
And I called, called, I calledaround.
I probably had the mostintentional few weeks of my life
, my the diligence of callingand saying, yeah, this is the,
this is serious.
I called every rehabilitationcenter.
I wrote down notes, I tooknotes.
I probably have the notessomewhere in one of my uh
(20:19):
storage things but I eventuallygot to a place where there was
two options team challenge oramerica's keswick and I talked
to four people, uh, who had beenthrough either or and one that
had been through both, and Ilanded on america's keswick to
come here April and two weeksafter the accident I was in the
(20:39):
doors.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
Okay Room 18, top bunk.
So wait a second.
So two weeks, and possiblywithin two and a half weeks or
maybe three weeks after.
That's when we met After theaccident, so the accident was
fresh when I met you.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Probably within a month of the accident.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
I did not know this.
This is amazing, wow, oh man.
Hey, you know.
Just another little backsidestory on this we prayed me and
Katie, and I want to say Roy butwe prayed for the colony
(21:18):
members and we prayed for thepeople that the Lord would bring
out and we prayed for thethings that the guys are going
through.
And there were some distinctprayers that were, you know,
just, and we always do that.
But I remember I don't know ifthat's where it started, but I
remember praying distinctly forthe that's where it started but
I remember praying, uh,distinctly for the, for the
(21:40):
calling members and the onesthat are struggling, and that
the lord would really breakthrough and then not only bring
them back to, to baseline of ofzero, of being free from
everything, but then go forwardto take them, to elevate them
and use them.
Uh, that's one of the prayersthat I continue to this day that
(22:00):
the Lord would.
When I pray for somebody, theLord would not only save them,
but don't just save them, savethem and then use them mightily,
give them a ministry thatimpacts multitudes.
Yeah, praise the Lord, you know.
So I anyway.
It's just amazing to be on thisend of the timeline hearing
your story and seeing how theLord had us play a small part in
(22:25):
that man, that was fantastic.
So continue.
I'm sorry, I just wanted toinsert that In response to that.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
thank, you, amen, amen.
I think what's left of thestory is we already talked about
some trauma stuff, but so I washere, I was hired, and I was
hired as a staff member, comingout of internship in January.
(22:53):
Let me make sure I got my mathright 2021, I believe Okay, and
it, I believe Okay, and it's2025 right now.
So it was four years as a staffmember, this most recent
January, and I was hired underthe direction of Robert Hayes.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
Yep, he's with the Lord.
He was the director ofprogramming here prior to me and
he was the artist in residencespectacular piano player.
Oh my goodness, his wife is awonderful singer, yes, and man,
it just even makes me think.
I just want to even rewind alittle bit back because I
(23:33):
remember hearing people tell melike when you become a Christian
, it gets hard, it getsdifficult.
I didn't know what that meant.
I think it will be differentfor everyone because everyone's
life is different.
But in terms of experiences, Istarted to experience some
significant loss where I had twofriends pass away in really
(23:59):
devastating ways, I want to say,before I was hired, maybe the
one was just after I was hired.
So those were really difficultand really painful experiences.
And to be sober and I was soberfrom my father's death, but to
be sober and with the lord, uh,through death, uh, is, is it's
(24:29):
different.
Speaker 3 (24:29):
It's a different thing.
Yes, different.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
I don't even want to put the pretty words on it.
I mean it's very good.
God is so good, he makeseverything good but it's
different from just being alone.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
And we have hope.
We have an indestructible hope.
We have a hope that's.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
That is not that the world doesn't have.
Amen, that's right.
And so so I mentioned thatbecause robert, my boss and my
friend who took me under hiswing from basically the start
and had me dressing up as thetime traveler during the summer
conference season that's whereit all started in programming
(25:10):
for me, and he was diagnosedwith cancer shortly after I was
hired.
And I say to myself what ishappening?
Wow, how could this be right?
And I still ask myself that.
But the next, the followingOctober, he passed away of
(25:32):
pancreatic cancer.
And I know you and I we'resitting here mourning that right
now and we miss Robert.
You know as much, as as much aswhen he left us the first day
and they named me the directorshortly thereafter.
Speaker 3 (25:53):
Wow, they said what?
And some days.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I still say what, but I don't know if I've ever been
more comfortable in thisposition and I say comfortable,
meaning confident in the Lord,yes, knowing that he has me in
the right place at the righttime for the right reasons, in
(26:20):
the right place at the righttime, for the right reasons, and
that's to share his love witheveryone that I come in contact
with.
And uh, robert's in a goodplace, my dad's in a good place.
They're both believers, amen.
And for those of you that mightquestion, well, my loved one
wasn't a believer.
What's up with that?
First of all, I'm sorry.
Second of all, I don't knowexactly, but I do know God is
good and fair, right, and he hasanswers that I can't give you
(26:44):
outside of the general statement, but it's a beautiful statement
that he's good and he loves youright now, right here.
I was praying this morning formy aunt who is pretty much days
away from passing from cancer.
Okay, I said god, help her.
She has breath in her lungs,help her, yeah, and so that's
(27:08):
all.
That's all we have, and that'sall we need is our father, who's
good, who's done everything onHis end to send His only Son for
our sake, to save us from ourown brokenness and sinfulness
and selfishness, and all thebrokenness and sinfulness and
(27:31):
selfishness that exists aroundus, that he did all that for our
sake.
Man that's a good reason to talkto Him and pray to him.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
Amen to that.
You said something interesting.
You said you know you'refeeling confident in this
position.
You know, I find the weakerthat we understand ourselves to
be, the stronger and moreconfident we actually become.
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
And it's because the source of our confidence is not
from within us, but it's fromwithin, it's him.
And so the more dependent onhim, the weaker we recognize
that we are.
Exponentially, our strengthincreases because our strength,
(28:21):
uh, is powered by him, not us,and it's almost as if we, uh, we
, can hinder the power of him bythinking that we are something
greater than than we actuallyare, you know, and so a lamp is
pretty.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
A lamp is pretty weak if it's not plugged in, right.
Speaker 3 (28:41):
Well, there you go, there you go.
That's it.
It's got to have the power.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
If the light thinks that it is shining light but
it's not and it's not plugged in, then it's kind of bad.
Yeah, there's a scripture thatsays if your light is dark.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
Yeah, how dark is that darkness in you?
Speaker 1 (29:03):
oh, yeah, yeah, I was um, I was yesterday, this, the
earlier this week.
I was very stressed um life ingeneral.
I think can be strut, can bestressful, um, but there's, as
the programming director andeven just anyone really working
at keswick, there's just a lotgoing on and I couldn't pinpoint
(29:25):
it exactly.
But I'm like man, I'm feelingstressed yeah and I reached out
to my administration team and Isaid I'm really feeling stressed
.
This is what's happening atwork a little bit, this is
what's happening in family lifea little bit, but there's I'm
sure there's other stuff.
Can you please pray for me?
And they did, and I had a fewpeople say, man, I can relate.
(29:47):
So that's nice that you haveother people saying yeah kind of
going through the same thing.
That helps, but just theirprayer.
You ever, you ever ask forprayer and you can feel it.
Yeah, yeah, you can feel theweight.
Yeah, be lifted, and it's notalways immediate, sometimes it
is.
But, man, it was like, it waslike the weight just started and
(30:07):
I looked around.
I was like man, I'm still alittle tired, I'm still a little
bit stressed, but not anywhereclose to what I was.
And I made it to the end of theday yesterday and a woman, one
of our guests, had locked herkeys in the car and I hung out
for about half an hour, whereasif I'm stressed, man, I'm like,
good luck with that, I'm out.
So praise the Lord for prayer,um, for the fellowship of the
(30:36):
saints and for like, for, likeyou said, like you said, when
I'm weak, then I'm strong.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
That's it, man.
Yeah, that is it we have.
You know, we, we fightspiritual battles, uh, and I
think not that every, noteverything, is from the enemy
and not everything is aspiritual battle.
You know, if you run out of gason the road, that's not that
Satan didn't drain your gas tank.
That means you didn't fill itup, you didn't put any gas in
(31:03):
your gas tank.
Yeah, you know, we blame theenemy for a lot of stuff, but,
having said that, there isabsolutely an element of
spiritual warfare that's goingon and we're told to put on the
armor of God and, at the end ofit, praying in the Spirit, man
and prayer is firing the winningshot.
(31:24):
Prayer is the first and thelast thing that we should be
doing and, uh, many times theagitation and stress and worry
and concern and fear, even fear,can cripple people.
The even the fear, uh is iscoming from the opposite team in
(31:46):
order to disrupt our walk andour peace and our joy in the
lord, and uh, so they have avested interest in that, and
that's why, when you findyourself in a stressed out
position, not even sure why,it's paramount that you get
somebody to pray for you to getinto the spiritual realm of
(32:11):
firing some spiritual missilesback.
How it all works, we don't know, but it's artillery man, and so
I'm a big fan of requestingprayer when I'm feeling a little
bit stressed or feeling.
But that's not natural.
The natural, my natural defaultis no, I got this, I'm just
(32:31):
going to get by myself and bookup with it.
You know what I mean.
I'm going to pull up thebootstraps, that's it, and but
that is the wrong way to goabout it.
So I have to, I have to resortto my training my, you know my
practice in this spiritualwarfare rather than my default
natural setting of no.
Speaker 1 (32:56):
I got this.
I'm just going to get alone fora little bit.
One of my friends told me thatmy superpower is vulnerability.
Speaker 3 (33:00):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
Wow, it's true, I mean half the time I preach at
the colony, which has been anhonor because Keswick is so
amazing to have invited me andallowed me to preach the word of
god at the colony of mercychapel.
Yeah, I mean half the time Iend up crying yeah, yeah, yeah,
I believe it.
Speaker 3 (33:22):
It's important, man, I mean, and the the
vulnerability is, is asuperpower, and that goes
against everything the worldwill tell you that's right.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
counter, cultural, counterintuitive, which is such
a good thing, because most ofthe stuff I think and do, or at
least want to do, is not good.
I need a counter, amen.
Speaker 3 (33:44):
Amen to that.
Thank you for being on Plays onWord Radio.
This is not the last timeyou'll be on.
We're going to get you back on.
We absolutely love thisinterview with you and it's been
a long time in the making,going back to 2019, april 2nd
2019.
Amen, amen, that's right.
So, yeah, we're interested inhearing the rest of the story
(34:05):
and whatever the good Lord isdoing, because we didn't even
get into the fact you gotmarried, right.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
Yep.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
Yep, praise the Lord man.
That's a whole life change.
There's more where that camefrom.
We're going to have to continuethis interview at some point,
but thank you.
Why don't you close us inprayer, bro?
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, thank you for having me.
Yeah, let's pray Father, thankyou, lord, for this day.
God, lord, you're a God of oneday at a time, while also being
within yourself, lord, a God ofeternity, and that is
(34:44):
mind-blowing, lord, it's soawesome that we don't have to be
concerned, lord, with eternity.
God, the Lord with eternity,god, we can be comforted that
that you exist and you'reconcerned and you, lord, are in
control and sovereign andprovide for eternity, god.
(35:06):
And so that gives us theopportunity gives me my friend,
pastor Kenny Lord, to to bepresent, lord, to live in the
moment, live one day at a time,or to not worry.
And so thank you for that.
(35:28):
Lord Jesus, you give every goodFather, and help us to have
eyes to see the gifts.
Lord, even just recently in mylife, lord, just walking in
nature and breathing fresh air,lord, and it's not just nature
(35:50):
and fresh air, Lord, sometimesjust going to the supermarket
and just being alive, god issuch a gift, and it's all
because of you, lord, because inthe past I was trying to have
everything else, god, and all Iwas doing was killing myself.
And so thank you for that, forboth of us, lord, and our
listeners.
And Lord, I pray that, ifthere's anyone listening, lord,
and even for those that aren't,god, your prayers, our prayers
(36:13):
to you go beyond what we canfathom, lord.
So I just pray, god, for thosethat are struggling, lord, for
their hearts to be touched.
Lord, for a seed to be plantedand for it to start to grow in
them.
Lord, a conviction, lord, anidea, a thought, belief, faith,
truth.
Lord, that you're good withinall the badness of the world,
(36:37):
lord of each day, that you'regood and you're the only hope
that we have.
You're the only thing we canhold on to, the rock that we can
stand on and build our livesupon, lord.
And when any sort of storm comes, lord, that it stays true, lord
, and that we can do that,beginning with ourselves.
Lord, that we can do that forothers, lord.
(36:57):
And so thanks for this time,god, we bless you.
Lord, your word says I blessthe Lord O my soul, and so we
bless you with our souls, lord,because you're worthy of
blessing and honor and praise.
Lord, we love you.
God, bring people to Keswick,lord, whether it be to the
Colony or Barber's Place orthrough the Conference Ministry,
(37:18):
lord, so that your name can bea bigger and greater and
glorified Lord on this earththat you created.
We love you and thank you InJesus' name amen.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Amen, amen.
Thank you, my brother, thankyou.
Speaker 2 (37:44):
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family of supporters.
To find out more, check out ourwebsite at playsonwordorg.
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