"May God Have Mercy On Your Soul." - Billy Madison

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In this episode of Please Don't Spoil The Movie, we spoil an Adam Sandler classic, Billy Madison. A 27-year-old man-child goes back to school to prove to his dad that he’s mature enough to take over the family hotel business. Tune in as we talk about Michael B. Jordan’s new movie Sinners, the privilege of being a nepo baby, and unfortunately flaming dog shit.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_02 (00:00):
please

SPEAKER_01 (00:16):
don't spoil the movie by adding your own
soundtrack hello my name ispatrick star my name is my name
is

SPEAKER_00 (00:32):
Googling.

SPEAKER_01 (00:35):
My name is Miranda Bailey.
Miranda.
I don't know who that is.
Sex and City?
No.
Grey's Anatomy.
It's somebody who popped up.
I think you did Grey's Anatomylast time.
Or one of those times.

(00:55):
Couldn't have.
I've never...
Seen the show.
Right.
But then we got on the topic howyou said your friend told you to
watch the show.
Oh, I kind of remember that.
And you watched that one episodeand you cried or something.
I kind of remember that.
And welcome back to, I don'tknow what name you picked
though.
And welcome back to Please Don'tSpoil the Movie.
A podcast brought to you bysisters who love each other.

(01:17):
What'd you say?
Upon occasion.
I didn't say anything.
For sure.
I've been saying the same thingsyou've been saying.
Okay.
How are you today?
I'm fine.
How about yourself?
I'm sleepy,

SPEAKER_00 (01:33):
but

SPEAKER_01 (01:34):
I'm fine.
Me too.
I took a nap before we beganthis.
Good.
Solid nap.
What else is going on?
How's the new job?
Did we talk about that last timeyou got a new job?
It's okay.
It's fine.
It's a state government job.
What's your day-to-day looklike?

(01:55):
What are you doing?
Supposed to be looking atgrants.
Oh, right.
Sounds like riveting stuff.
Huh?
Sounds like riveting stuff.
Yeah.
But it's fine.
The people are nice.
They got an office, I guess.
That's decent.
I don't know.
Anything is better than acubicle.

(02:17):
I know, but it's so ugly.
And it's just like someoneelse's office, like...
you know there's always there'salready papers there and stuff
yeah it's just like the paperssay the person moves you know
right who knows how long thosepapers have been there right
that's how it was when i youknow got my office i was like
what are these binders here forcan i throw them away right

(02:39):
could you have i never did ohyeah i've been sitting there for
at least Eight years now.
If I open this brand in one moreyear, skin in the trash.
There you go.
I saw a new movie.
What did you see?
I watched that...

(03:01):
What's that?
I actually don't know the nameof it.
Novocaine.
Oh, how was that?
It was okay.
Nothing like...
The premise surrounding it...
I'm just like, it looks likehe's playing the exact same
character that he plays in TheBoys.
It seems like a similar movie.

(03:23):
I'm just like, it looks like thesame thing.
So I can't speak on that.
That's fair.
Yeah, but it was just like, niceguy.
Not really gets into trouble,but he tries to rescue this girl
that he likes and uses hissuperpower.
How does he become...
He was like immune to pain.

(03:44):
He was like born, he was justlike born like it.
And he's usually like a reservedguy.
And this is like his first time,like, like apparently like in
one scene he was like, I don't,I only drink liquids because I'm
afraid that I'll bite my tongueoff and I won't know.
Oh, just a bit much.
I was like, okay, I think youhave some sort of idea, but
like, that's how much pain thathe's, he's afraid that he'll

(04:06):
hurt himself by not knowing.
Oh, because he doesn't recognizepain.
Yeah.
so he could bite his tongue offand not know he bit his tongue
off like he won't chew food incase he's like and he doesn't
realize or whatever I mean thatwon't like kill him though it
won't kill him and also like Imean what are the chances right

(04:29):
just like eat a piece of cakedude just eat slowly I don't
know he's like only drinksmoothies I'm like okay well
this is a little too much I meanat that rate like you'll never
learn how to chew And thelikelihood of you biting your
tongue off increases.
Right, exactly.
And then he has to set an alarmto go pee every 30 minutes
because he doesn't know when hisbody is ready to pee.

(04:51):
Oh, really?
Okay, that's tough.
But it was decent.
It was a nice original movie.
Nothing like, wow, the greatestmovie I've ever seen.
But it was a pretty niceoriginal movie.
What did you watch it on?
I may or may not have watched itillegally.

(05:11):
Illegally.
I see.
I see.
Have you seen movies lately?
I haven't watched anything new.
But before we went to Chicagothis past weekend for the
wedding, I had an inkling.
I was like, I'm going to get onthis airplane.

(05:33):
And Hairspray is going to be oneof the movies to watch.
And I'm going to end up watchingit.
And that's what I did.
It's like I had a vision likeRaven Baxter.
I had a vision of me watchingmyself watch Hairspray on an
airplane.
And then we got on an airplane.
They had Hairspray.
And it said it was new.

(05:53):
It was like new editionHairspray.
And I was like, of course.
And so I put it on.
That's the last thing Iremember.
It was fantastic.
I was like, oh my god, thismovie's so good.
And I was like, this is astar-studded cast here.
We have Queen Latifah.
We have Amanda Bynes in one ofher final roles.
We have Zac Efron fresh out ofthe Disney Channel factory.

(06:19):
We've got freaking MichellePfeiffer.
I was just like, oh my god.
Fucking Christopher Walken is inthere.
And fucking John Travolta.
John Travolta playing the mom.
In drag.
Mm-hmm.
I was like, ugh.
Chef's kiss.
It was star-studded.
And I forgot.

(06:40):
After watching it, I was like,oh, Nikki Blonsky is wrong for
being racist.
Because, bitch, why are you inthis movie?
I was like, this whole movie'spremise is about integration.
And you have the nerve to beracist?
I was like, wait, this isactually really crazy.
I'm sure they didn't even thinkto ask that question.
Like, hey, are you racist?
I completely forgot.

(07:02):
Not that that being the premiseof the movie, but I forgot that
that was a layer to her...
Being racist.
I'm like oh but you were in thismovie.
That's about integration.
She watches her family beat up ablack woman.
Right.
It's crazy.
And then you know how people arelike.
On TikTok you'll see her little.

(07:22):
What are they called when youlike.
Cameos.
Okay those.
There was one.
Where somebody said.
Because after watchingHairspray.
I was inspired to go to like.
A Black Lives Matter rally.
Or something like that.
Or protest.
And so she's reading it.
Like she's reading what someonelike sent her.

(07:42):
Oh, after watching Hairspray,like I was inspired to go to a
BLM protest.
And she's like, um, that's,that's, uh, good for you.
Um, yeah.
I mean, I, I, uh, yeah.
Uh, thank you for sharing that.
Like the, she hated that.
The video was her literallyreading it and like her face

(08:03):
falling.
By someone saying that she wentto a Black Lives Matter protest.
And she's like, I too went toone myself.
And then people in the commentswere like, yeah, the one in the
movie.
Like the one in Hairspray?
Yeah.
Because I was confused.
I was like, why would they beinspired for that?
Because of the movie.
Because I'm thinking about rightnow.

(08:24):
But yeah, that is hilarious.
That's so funny because shecould have inspired a couple of
people not to be racist.
Right.
But she was racist the wholetime.
But her herself.
That's wild.
Crazy.
But you know, to me, if you'regoing to be racist, you need to
stand on that business.
Why would you do a movie aboutintegration?
You know, when you're a youngkid in Hollywood and the doors

(08:50):
come a knocking for a lead role,she's not going to turn it down.
She's not going to be like, oh,I'm sorry, I'm actually
incredibly racist.
I can't do this role.
And I'm very surprised that wedidn't get...
more stories about her on setbecause this can't...
They had to be eklings.
She was...
I don't even know.
She must have been her bestbehavior.

(09:11):
She was like, I don't talk tothem.
I'm just going to stay overhere.
I'm going to talk to QueenLatifah and Lil' Ahnez.
Sinners is out.
Oh, yeah.
Another issue.
I do want to watch it, but Idon't like that whoever the main
girl is, she's like...
I don't know the story.

(09:33):
Somebody at work told me thatshe plays a biracial woman, but
she's

SPEAKER_02 (09:37):
white.

SPEAKER_01 (09:38):
Huh?
She plays a biracial woman?
That's what someone said.
But then someone was like, oh,no, she's actually not supposed
to be biracial.
So I'm like, I don't.
I was like, is this a whitewoman playing a black woman or
not?
I'm like, what's happening here?
There's no way they wouldn'thave allowed that.
No, I think it's a thing.
Because then I've seen likeTikToks.

(09:59):
you know, think pieces, like,people dissecting her, like,
identity, her racial identity.
Like, there's discourse on,like, what she identifies as or
what she is.
I don't know.
I hope she doesn't like that.
I like her as an actress or whatI've seen her in.
I am more disappointed if she isplaying a biracial woman.
I am more...

(10:19):
irritated with the director.
I'm going to choose.
You need to know better.
Right.
I'm going to choose to believethat she's, they're not trying
to pass off as a biracial personbecause there's no way.
I know.
I need to watch the movie tosee, but.
It's a scary movie.
I do know that.
You don't do scary movies.
Yeah, but it's about vampires.
Is it?

(10:39):
Okay.
What's your...
know nothing about the moviebecause they didn't promote it I
haven't seen not a damncommercial but honestly I'm
slowly like didn't know didn'trealize I thought it was gonna
be like a psychological thrillerbut then I hear people talk
about vampires and then I'm likeokay vampires and then I hear
people talking about like theAsian culture with the black

(11:01):
culture and then I hear peopletalking about like then I'm like
so what is his doppelganger andI don't know I don't want to
know anything my whole thing iswhy Is there a twin component?
Like, that's the whole thing Ididn't understand.
See, is it a twin?
Because I thought this movie,no, it's his twin.
Oh, it's his twin.
They're twins.

(11:22):
Because I thought this wholemovie was about them being,
like, twin mobsters.
But then someone was like, no,it's about vampires.
So why the fuck does he need atwin if the plot is about
vampires?
Why is it so detrimental that hehas to play a twin?
It's either like you're a twinand that's what the movie's
about or it's about vampires.
You can't have twins andvampires.

(11:42):
There's like too much going on.
It doesn't make any sense.
I'm excited.
And then Jordan Peele's supposedto be having another horror
movie that's supposed to becoming out about football and
CTE.
Excited.
Oh, that'll be interesting.
Yeah, I'm excited for that.
Can't wait to see that one.
Can't wait to see that one.
Yeah, he needs to start pushingthese out more.
Yeah.
He needs to push out more.
He needs to be like StephenKing.

(12:04):
And I also kind of just need to,like, I mean, like, I appreciate
with, like, Jordan Peele and,like, Ryan Coogler.
Is that his name?
Whatever.
Or Jewing.
But can we stop making blackhorror movies?
I just want a regular blackmovie.
Why does it have to be a horrormovie?
I don't want to see horrorfilms.
I do.

(12:24):
Why is this a genre that we haveto step in?
Where is the comedy?
The romance comedy.
Diversity.
Even the action.
I don't want to see the horror.
It's not that scary.
It's not that scary.
Like, Nope wasn't scary.
It wasn't.
But, oh, Nope.
I've never seen Nope.

(12:44):
I bet you're talking about GetOut.
I've never seen Nope.
Get Out wasn't scary?
Yeah, it wasn't scary.
Nope wasn't scary.
Who's to say this one won't bescary?
What's that other movie thatcame out?
Candyman?
It's just like, what are wedoing?
That was a really good one.
I wanted to stop.
Don't say his name up here.

(13:06):
Let the horror movies thrive.
As long as I don't get a slavemovie, I'm very happy.
I mean, yeah, anything over aslave movie.
God, please.
If y'all make another freakingslave movie.
Unless it's Django-esque, Idon't want it.
Yeah.
That was the last slave movie Iwould watch.

(13:27):
Oh, you have an action movie forus?
How about instead you make amovie where you have 100 black
people play slaves and they'remutilated and tortured?
I think that would actually doso much better at the box
office.
Can you write that for us?
Who's watching?
And it's almost like, okay, Idon't want to go see it.
And then it's like, the whitepeople do want to see it.

(13:49):
I'm just like, looking at yousideways, like, why you want to
see this movie?
It's just weird.
Like, who is this appealed to?
They're good movies.
I mean, they are great movies,but they're one and dones.
I'm not watching this shit everagain.
Let's take a break.
Speaking of horror, Black Mirroris back.
Have you been watching?

(14:09):
No, I haven't seen a season ofBlack Mirror since like the one
when they go into space.
Uh, Callister.
Yeah.
Do you see that they haveanother one in this season?
Oh, a Callister one?
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Have you watched it?
No, I haven't watched it yet.

(14:30):
It's an hour and 30 minutes.
We're watching it in order.
That's the last one.
How is it?
Some hits, some misses.
The first one was good.
There's one about like...
What the fuck was it?
Oh, it was like this...
The wife gets brain damage andthis company was like, oh, we

(14:51):
can fix her.
Um...
you just gotta pay thissubscription basically to keep
her brain going they keep uppingthe price and they can't afford
it that one has um that one hasuh right that one has uh
racially ambiguous uh fuckwhat's her name from the office

(15:12):
oh Rashida Rashida has Rashidathat one has Rashida in it and
Tracee Ellis Ross is in that oneoh two biracial gals kicking it
There's the Issa Rae's one.
There's not.
So she has a second.
Yeah.
It was the second longest one inthis, this season.
And it was, did not like it.

(15:33):
I did not like it.
What was it about?
She is an actress and she, shegets this role where she like
this new way of shooting film islike, they, I don't know.
They put you in a reality show.
it's not like they put you backit's not like they throw you
back in time but they basicallyput you in this reality where

(15:54):
the people in the movie are realor like they think they're real
I guess it's up tointerpretation if you think
they're real but they're likeprogrammed like I don't know but
while she's in there somethinggoes awry and she gets stuck in
like the she gets stuck in therefor like I think it's like a
year in her time because in thein the where she's in it moves

(16:16):
slower but like maybe on theoutside it was like a month or
two um and then she falls inlove with the lady in the movie
but isa ray god she was actinglike isa it was just boring it
was just slow it was so slow itcould have been shorter um isa
could have acted better but youstill know how to act like

(16:41):
herself what like herself Imean, she's not...
Yeah.
It wasn't.
It gave Issa from Insecure.
But loved it.
Enjoyed seeing her.
I want to go back to the seasonswhere they didn't have a
celebrity in every episode.
Thank you.
And give it back to the Brits.

(17:03):
Give it back to the fuckingBrits.
Why are all these Americans inthese Black Mirror episodes?
It's a British fucking show.
Right.
So the one with Rashida...
You know the guy.
I can't think of his name.
He's not super famous, but he'sAustralian, I think.
I was like, okay, this one'sgoing to be decent because this
man's Australian.
It's going to be a little good.

(17:25):
There's one about...
There was a really Black Mirrorone, which was very British, and
I was like, that was a good one.
I need to go look at TikToks soI can deep dive into it, but it
was this guy...
I'm not, this guy created thisvideo game and he was able to

(17:48):
talk to the video game.
And basically the, the, thecharacters in the video game,
they escape or like they hash.
I don't, I don't even know howto describe it, but it was like
a good story.
And it was like, it sounds likethe, the Callister one.
Yeah.
It's kind of like that similar,but like the people in the video
game weren't people, they werelike little characters.

(18:09):
It was, it was, it was weird,but it was good.

UNKNOWN (18:11):
Um, Interesting.
I think that's how we watch.

SPEAKER_01 (18:17):
We have two more left.
I mean, how many, like, whatseason is this?
It's like seven or something,seven or eight, but you know
that some of the seasons beshort.
Because I haven't seen, like,the previous two, at least.
It's crazy.
You know, though, the best, thebest episode in all of Black

(18:38):
Mirror history is Hang the DJ.
It's so good.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
Those Black Mirror episodes,those are the ones I want to
watch.
I don't see none of that shitwhere somebody gets burnt up or
their brain or likeness getsstuck in a virtual reality or
their soul is stuck in a teddybear.

(19:00):
I don't see none of that shit.
Oh, I feel bad for the bad guy.
What was that one where it'slike they make him do stuff and
this guy watched kiddie porn andthen like They made him like
kill somebody.
But the end, like it was allvideotaped.
I was like this.
I don't feel good.
I didn't watch that one.
But I know which one you'retalking about.
I don't feel good about this.
Right.
Or the one where the girl.

(19:20):
Yeah.
White bear with the chick.
She like her and her boyfriendkidnapped this girl and kill
her.
But we don't know that.
So we're watching all thishorrible shit happen to her.
And at the end, they're like,oh, she saw.
I'm just like, I don't know.
I feel like.
bamboozled and traumatized.
Yeah.
Like, I don't know.
Like, why am I on the crazy girlside?
Right.
This still feels like sick andunusual punishment.

(19:43):
Sick and unusual.
Because she don't know what'sgoing on.
Oh, God.
Right.
She has to do that every day.
They do that to her every day.
They erased her brain and didthat to her every day.
I don't want to watch that.
That's not what I want to watch.
It makes my stomach turn.
I want to watch them find love.
Yeah.
I like sci-fi with a little bitof fucked up.
Not too fucked up.
Yeah.

(20:04):
Hang the DJ and what was itcalled?
Interstellar?
Callister.
Oh, S.S.
Callister?
Yeah, S.S.
Callister.
Those two.
Give me those.
And then X.S.
Callister is a perfect thingbecause you think it's going to
be super fucked up.
Yeah.
And then they win in the end.
But I do wonder how this one'sgoing to end because now this

(20:26):
one's about them being in avideo game.
I think it's just about themsurviving the video game.
I'm sure it'll be depressing.
Oh, no.
I wonder if the girl fromChewing Gum is going to be in
it.
Yeah, I was just about to say, Iwonder.
I'll watch it if she's in there.
I hope so.
I'll keep you posted.
But that one's like an hour and30 minutes.

(20:47):
So I have to plan that one outbecause that's like a movie.
Speaking of hour and 30 minutemovies, I want to take you all
back to a time.
Think nepotism.
Think nepotism.
Wealthy, spoiled, rich kid.
Think bumbling idiot.

(21:08):
Think hotel multimillionairefather.
Think butlers and maids.
Think hot teacher.
Think first, second, third,fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh,
eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh,and twelfth grade.

(21:28):
We're doing it all over again,baby.
Think...
Chris Farley in a very small,uncredited role.
Think every SNL character thatwas in the 1990s is in this
movie.
Think a young, young, young,crispy Adam Sandler.

(21:49):
And that brings us to, drumrollplease.
Billy Madison.
Are you okay?
I was about to say HappyGilmore.
I knew you were.
I knew you were.
Billy Madison.
AJ, when I tell you, I have tokeep checking.
I was like, which one do weagree on?
Because I'm going to pull upBilly Madison.
No, Happy Gilmore and halfwaythrough the notes, I'm going to

(22:13):
be like, damn, you're supposedto do Billy Madison right now.
I knew it.
That was a fear of mine, too.
I was like, let me make surewe're doing Billy Madison and
not Happy Gilmore.
That came out within the sameyear of each other.
Yeah.
I always get them confused.
Because it's just crazy he hastwo movies with two names.

(22:34):
Right.
What was he doing there?
Yeah.
Summary.
Billy Madison is a lazy andimmature man-child who spends
his days partying and goofingoff thanks to his wealthy
father's fortune.
When his father announces plansto hand over the family hotel
empire to a more competentassociate...

(22:54):
Billy strikes the deal to provehis worth.
He must complete all 12 gradesof school, two weeks per grade,
to show he's capable ofresponsibility.
Along the way, Billy navigatesthe challenges of school,
scheming rivals, and maturingall in the pursuit of learning
the value of hard work,education, and self-respect.

(23:20):
Party!

UNKNOWN (23:20):
Party!

SPEAKER_01 (23:23):
Is American comedy written by Adam Sandler and Tim
Hurley and directed by TamaraDavis.
A woman?
Principal photography for BillyMadison took place.
That's a woman?
Yes.
Oh.
I was surprised myself.

UNKNOWN (23:40):
Okay, director.

SPEAKER_01 (23:41):
We'll get into more of that later.
Okay.
Principal photography for BillyMadison took place from June
26th to August 29th, 1994.
Wow.
In and around Toronto, Canada,of course, you know.
Toronto's the Hollywood ofCanada.
Billy's lavish mention...

(24:03):
Actually, it's called theParkwood Estate and is a popular
filming location.
Located in Ontario, the houseand the grounds has appeared in
a huge range of films, excuseme, in a huge range of films and
television series, as well asacting as Professor Xavier's
school for the gifted in the2000 X-Men.

UNKNOWN (24:26):
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (24:27):
Fun fact.
So yeah, this is a popularhouse.
2000 which, which one, whichone?
X-Men 2000, the one that cameout in 2000.
Okay.
I concur.
I know that house.
For filming, Adam Sandlerinitially convinced Universal
Pictures, those are the peoplewho distributed the film, to
hire Stephen Keschler asdirector.

(24:51):
That was, like, one of AdamSandler's, like, writing
childhood buddy friends,whatever.
Okay.
However, Interesting.
Interesting.

(25:17):
In an interview or something,she said, like, she met with
Adam Sandler.
And she was, like, she thoughtit, like, before all of this,
like, to do the movie.
Because she was the studio's toppick.
She met with him.
She thought, like, theconversation went really well
and everything.
Like, she was like, oh, yeah,I'm definitely going to be asked
to direct this movie.
He didn't want her.
He wanted his little friend.

(25:37):
He's like, I'm just doing this.
So the studio was like, fine,we'll give you your little
friend.

UNKNOWN (25:42):
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 (25:42):
The little friend wasn't doing good.
So after three days they firedhim and then they called her up
and they're like, hey, can yoube here by like Monday?
And she was like, I guess, fine.
And I guess like him, AdamSandler having to like, his
friend being fired, him notknowing like, you know, if the
movie was going to be good,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

(26:02):
She said when she got there, hewas so stressed that his neck
was so stiff that he couldn'tturn his head.
He was stressed out.
That is amazing to think a guylike Adam Sandler could be
stressed out.
It makes me feel great.
Right?
It makes me feel amazing.
It's just so funny.
It makes you feel seen.
I just can't imagine him beingstressed and going from penguin.

(26:25):
Let's burn up.
Right.
Speaking gibberish.
Yeah.
Improving gibberish talk tobeing like stressed out and
can't turn around.
How was that?
Was that good?
Is that what you're looking for?
Poor thing.
Poor baby.
Sandler also lobbied for BobOdenkirk, a former SNL

(26:47):
colleague, to play theantagonist of Eric Gordon, the
guy from Better Call Saul.
Oh! He was on SNL?
Apparently he was.
I don't know if he was a writeror if he was on there, but he
was in there.
Yeah.
He wanted him to play EricGordon, but the studio declined

(27:07):
as Arden Kirk was not yetconsidered a serious actor, even
though this is not a seriousmovie.
Period.
Don't see why that's relevant.
Right.
Sandler then suggested PhilipSeymour Hoffman, the guy who was
in, like, The Hunger Games, andhe died.
Not in The Hunger Games, but in,like, Relay.
He plays, like, the new gamemaker.

(27:28):
You know who I'm talking about.
Oh, Snow?
No.
Wait, what?
He plays the new game maker whohelps Katniss take down the
capital.
He died?
Yes, bitch.
Where have you been?
He's been there for like sixyears.
I

SPEAKER_02 (27:43):
don't

SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember.
I don't remember that.
Yeah, well, he's deceased.
He's no longer with us.
So Sandler then suggested him toplay the role of Eric Gordon.
He auditioned but ultimatelyturned down the role.
Adam Sandler called him and waslike, hey, why don't you want to

(28:06):
do the movie?
I really want you to do themovie.
Why don't you want to do it?
And his response was like, Ijust don't want to.
That's really smart.
Could you imagine Adam Sandlerbegging you to be in his movie?
He wasn't that big then.
I don't think he was.
Right, which is crazy.
Like, bitch, you missed out.
Right.
I mean, the movie didn't do thatgreat.
It was an Adam Sandler classic.

(28:27):
That's true.
What movie is that guy in thathe's funny?
Sorry.
Was also offered the role ofEric Gordon.
There was a lot of debate aboutwho was going to play Eric
Gordon.
Jeff Daniels was also offeredthe role, but decided to do Dumb
and Dumber instead.
Who's Jeff?
Dumb and Dumber instead.
The blonde one?

(28:48):
Yeah, the one who's clearly notJim Carrey.
I don't know if he's a lead ornot.
The part was eventually given toBradley Woodford, who plays Eric
as we know it.
For his role as the overworkedand eccentric bus driver, Chris
Farley reportedly drank sixshots of espresso before filming

(29:09):
his scene.
Is that really necessary?
Right.
But why not?
Method acting.
Some other SNL cast members andwriters make appearances in the
film.
SNL writers Jim Downey andRobert Schmiegel play the judge
of the...
decathlon and then the chemistryteacher respectfully so the guy

(29:34):
who judges the decathlon he'slike an SNL writer the new
acting principal yeah and thenthe guy who was like the
chemistry teacher when he wastalking about chloroform or
whatever it was he's an SNLwriter too while Norman McDonald
plays one of Billy's dim-wittedfriends as Frank he was also an

(29:55):
SNL hmm Oh, the tall one or theshort one?
The tall one.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
He is also now deceased.
He also had a gambling problem,I read.
What?
The film was released February10th, 1995 and was distributed
by Universal Pictures.

UNKNOWN (30:16):
Nice.

SPEAKER_01 (30:16):
Turns 30 this year, or turned 30 this year, just
like heavyweights.

SPEAKER_00 (30:21):
Daddy 30.
Daddy

SPEAKER_02 (30:22):
30.

SPEAKER_01 (30:26):
Okay.
budget 20 million no 10 millionthat is correct oh man i thought
he was gonna like throwing outthese money to his snl
motherfuckers he's like herehere's a check to you here's a
check to you no this is like hisfirst ever movie yeah well can

(30:50):
we talk more about that where ishe in his career here um i guess
he's like done with snl he'sdone like this is his first
movie that he's like written andlike produced and stuff okay so
this is like the start of itokay we did number one what's
the second movie happy happygilmore's came out like five

(31:11):
seconds after this five secondsthey're like you're hooked your
book buddy you did good it wasonly downhill from there After a
long time.
But once he gets his Netflix.
Yeah, he's gonna go with likethis one.
Happy Gilmore.
Big Daddy.

(31:32):
And then like, I don't know.
Once he hit Lil' Nicky.
Even though I love Lil' Nicky.
That's a good one.
But the people didn't love Lil'Nicky.
I said once he hits like Lil'Nicky, that's where it kind of
goes downhill for him.
I love Lil' Nicky.
But the people.
The people did not.
They didn't?

(31:53):
That movie has like a 7% onRotten Tomatoes.
That was the Catholics.
Because that movie was good.
Not the Catholics.
Not the Catholics.
The Catholics.
Let's see.
Little...
Catholic, I can say that.
Nikki.
It has a...
Where is it?

(32:17):
It's so bad it won't even tellme.
It has a 22% which is higherthan I would have anticipated,
on Rotten Tomatoes.
And...
Oh, they had a very largebudget.
Money laundering scheme.
We forgot to talk about frickin'Waterboy.
Waterboy, that was good.
Oh, Waterboy, yeah.
Can't forget about Waterboy.

(32:38):
Set in Lafayette, Louisiana.
Yes.
I never got into The WeddingSinger, but I think people like
that one.
I don't think I've ever seenthat.
But that's not one of his,like...
I think he's just in that.
Like, he didn't write that andproduce that one.
Oh.
He did Waterboy, though.
Okay.
Mr.
Deeds.

(32:59):
Mr.
Deeds is cool.
Anger management.
I do like anger management.
I think the ones that, like, arerelatively decent, he had
nothing to do with them.
He's just in them.
No, I'm looking at...
They have a chart, and it has,like, a...
Right, right, right.
I've seen the chart.
What did he do in AngerManagement besides starring in

(33:22):
it?
No, it said he was a...
He got some fucking mini,honestly.
It said he produced it.
What does that even really mean?
Yeah, I guess.
Just give me the credit.
True.

(33:43):
I forgot about Click.
They're like, don't mess withthe Zohan.
Damn, this nigga got a lot ofmovies.

UNKNOWN (33:50):
Damn.

SPEAKER_01 (33:52):
You know he trying to do a happy weekend more too?
I did see that.
Yeah, you're really late.
Everybody knows that.
We didn't talk about it.
The trailer hasn't even beenreleased yet.
And he's got a movie called JayKelly.
I wonder what that's going to beabout.
I don't know.
Okay, last thing.
What's his duck birth?
We can move on.

(34:13):
That sounds about right.
$420 million.
How many?
He has an estimated net worth of$420 million in 2020.
He signed a new four-movie dealwith Netflix worth over$250
million.
Oh, wow.
That's why he was selling allthose crappy movies on Netflix.
Right.

(34:34):
Mystery date.
One of the Google questions is,why is Adam Sandler so wealthy?
What do you mean?
Because he makes seven moviesevery year.
Yes.
He's been making movies sincethe 1990s.
And every hetero white man inAmerica goes to see it.
Yes.
Technically speaking, he's neverstopped.
Right.

(34:55):
That's why he's so wealthy.
He's the Tyler Perry of whiteAmerica.
Honestly?
That's not a bad analogy.
Okay.
Let's dive in.
Oh, I didn't guess the gross.
Oh, yeah.
What is it?

(35:15):
$50 million.
No.
$80 million.
No.
Am I going too high?
Yes.

UNKNOWN (35:23):
Damn.
I didn't do good.

SPEAKER_01 (35:23):
$30 million.
Closer.
$20 million.
In between$20 and$30 million.
i just i miss the days where youcan make that much money on the
movie and they'd be like that'sgreat right because i i see
people talking about sinnersi'll be like the box you know

(35:44):
those freaking movie articles orthose movie magazines are like
sinners did good but they didn'tmake one billion dollars i was
like shut up Right.
Well, I just don't understandwhy it takes$700 million to make
a movie these days.
Why do you need that much?

SPEAKER_00 (36:05):
I

SPEAKER_02 (36:05):
don't know.

SPEAKER_01 (36:06):
Figure it out.
Do it in 50.
It's possible.
I know it can be done.
It's money laundering.
That's what they're doing now.
It's gotta be.
It's gotta be.
Because what is it?
I know times are hard, butgoddamn.
Right.
What's going on?
Who's getting the check?
Because it's...
I know the actors are gettingsome of it, but still.

(36:28):
Y'all ain't paying the peoplebehind the scenes.
Yeah, this budget is$90 million.
Sinners?
Yes.
Like, y'all couldn't have donethis in 65?
Right.
I mean, I ain't seen it, but itwas just like, come on.
Like, where'd y'all shoot it?
Like, it's like, it's givingback country.
What y'all paid for this?
We're giving retro?

(36:51):
How much does it cost to hireMichael B.
Jordan?
Right.
He ain't got it like that.
Okay.
Guess the cost, please.
Guess the what?
The box office.
You still haven't guessed it.
I thought you told me it was 20.
I said, no, I said between 20and 30.

(37:12):
That's what I said.
26.4.
Thank you.
Okay.
I gave him 80 movies after thatfor that.
Times are different, buddy.
Times are different.
Girl, that's what I like to callwhite privilege.
Okay.
Because he's not cranking outblockbusters like that.

(37:33):
That's why I said 8 million.
People are giving him movie dealafter movie deal after movie
deal.
Because at that, I mean, I feellike white privilege in today's
time, if you make that much,they'd be like, we can try
another 5 to 10 years.
Not...
I'm like, no.
If you make that, they're like,we'll never allow you to make a
movie ever again.
We're never giving you money.

(37:54):
Exactly.
It's crazy.
I guess it helps that he comesfrom SNL.
I guess.
I guess.
Not too much.
Okay.
Billy Madison.
He's an idiot.
A buffoon.
He's a drunk.
He's a rich white boy with a lotof money.

(38:14):
He's privileged.
He's a nepo baby.
He is living in his mansion.
We meet him.
He's at his multi-million dollarhome, at the pool, drunk with
his friends.
That's what he does every singleday of his life.
He wakes up.
He gets drunk.
He looks at a nudie magazine,falls asleep, gets in the pool,
eats some food, gets drunk.

(38:38):
throws a bag of dog shit on hisneighbors lawn and watches them
try to take out the fire.
He does all of these things.
And for some of it, I'm not madat him.
Just let me have a mansion.
Let my daddy have a mansion.
I might sit a couple things out.
Yeah, I might sit the whole lifething.

(38:59):
I might sit that one out.
Yeah.
I might let my father sign me upto be, I don't know, the head of
a nonprofit and call it afucking day.
Right.
Let me start a foundation.
Let me start a foundation.
And leave me alone.
Leave the fuck alone.
So this is how he spends hisdays.
He spends his days gettingdrunk.
Poop fire bags on the neighbor'slawn.

(39:22):
Like this is what he does.
This is his daily routine.
Meanwhile, we are introduced toBilly's father.
I think his name is Brian.
Oh, I didn't do cast.
Oh my God.
I hate when I do.
Sorry.
Gotta go back.
You're terrible at your job.
I am, actually.
And I can barely read.
Adam Sandler as Billy Madison.

(39:43):
Bradley Whitford as Eric Gordon.
Billy's arch-anonymousess whotries to take the company from
him.
Josh Mostel as Principal MaxAnderson.
Bridget Wilson as VeronicaVaughn, Billy's third grade
teacher and love interest.
Norm MacDonald as Frank, Billy'sdumb-witted friend.

(40:07):
Darwin McGavin as Brian Madison,Billy's father.
Mark Beltzman as Jack, Billy'sother dumb-witted friend.
Deena Plattis as Miss Lippy,Billy's first-grade teacher.

(40:28):
Chris Farley as bus driver in anuncredited role.
And...
Steve...
And don't forget to rate,subscribe, tell your friends,

(40:54):
follow us on TikTok.
And please don't spoil themovie.
Instagram, please don't spoilthe movie.
Or please don't spoil.
And we're also on Pinterest ifyou want to follow us there.
Love us.
Totally.
Talk about us.
Tell your friends.
So, next up, what?
We meet the dad, Brian.
We're introduced to Billy'sfather, Brian, who is the
complete opposite of Billy.

(41:14):
He actually seems competent.
And he is a multi-million dollarhotel mogul.
He's like the Hilton in thismovie.
He owns Madison Hotels.
And he's getting old.
He's getting up in age.
And he's been meeting with a lotof his business consultants.

(41:35):
And he is looking to hand overthe company to somebody.
Ideally, for whatever reason, hewants to hand it over to his
son.
Crazy idea.
But he is now at the point wherehe's like, okay, my son's a
fucking idiot.
I can't give it to him.
So I may have to give it tosomebody else.
And who that someone else is...

(41:57):
No other than the one, the onlyEric Gordon, who is, I think
he's like the vice president ofthe company, and he's a weasel.
Also, who is in on theconversations between like who
should take over the company isCarl, which is like Brian's like
a right-hand man.

(42:17):
He's like chief of operations.
I love how I...
In the movie, Billy calls Carlcrazy Carl.
He's just the most neutral guyin the world.
He's just so calm.
He's just so calm.
Crazy Carl! Right, and heactually takes up for Billy,
which is also stupid.
The nicest man ever.
So, Billy is doing what Billydoes.

(42:40):
He's being an idiot.
He's being a buffoon.
And Brian has some businessassociates come to town, come to
the house.
They're having dinner.
These are his stakeholders.
He's like, freaking boardmembers and for whatever reason
he invites billy to the dinnerwith all of his business

(43:00):
associates and of course billybilly being billy he's a buffoon
and he makes an ass of himselfand of his father at this dinner
table he's speaking gibberish Herefuses to talk in English.
He's only talking in his ownpersonal language.
He's drunk.
He's irate.
And at this point, Brian has todismiss his son.

(43:22):
And this is where Brian's kindof like, okay, you can't run
this company because you'reclearly not all there.
Something's wrong with you.
Brian, after the dinner andafter speaking with his two
right-hand man, Eric and Carl-He's like, I don't know what to
do.
He comes to a decision and hesits them all down, including

(43:45):
Billy.
He tells Billy, I'm handing thecompany over to Eric because he
knows how to do the business.
He cares.
And this dinner was your lastchance and you messed it up.
At this point, Eric's excited.
I honestly think Eric should getthe company, but that's a whole
different story.
In the beginning.

(44:06):
The whole time.
In the beginning.
Eric is not the villain.
He later turns out to be one.
Later.
But in the beginning...
Eric's like, yeah, yourhalf-brained son does not need
to be running this company andit's 61,000 employees.
You, for whatever reason, havethis delusional idea of allowing

(44:30):
your freaking damn nearbrain-dead son run this company
because for whatever reason youjust want to live on this
legacy.
He is an idiot.
He will tank your company andit's 61,000 employees.
Do you not care about that?
I am on Eric's side.
And then Carl's like, Billy'snot that dumb.

(44:54):
It's like, hello.
He was speaking gibberish at thedinner table.
Right.
20 minutes ago.
I'm not convinced he knows howto read.
He actually doesn't know how toread.
I just think he memorized.
He doesn't know how to spellrock.
He just remembered a lot ofwords.

UNKNOWN (45:15):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (45:16):
i carl is playing the long game i am on eric's
side like i if i can't if i givea fuck about company and you're
gonna give it to your dumb sonit would be the start of my
villain story as well i meanthis this is the start of eric's
origin story yeah literally i'mnot mad at him but yeah at the
sit down um Brian tells Billythat I'm getting to come in over

(45:41):
to Eric.
Eric's ecstatic.
Billy's like, what?
What are you doing?
For whatever reason, he'sshocked.
He's stunned.
He's like, how could you do thisto me?
Mouth drop.
The dad is like, yeah, it'sover.
It's not happening.
Billy chases after his father.
He's like, please give me asecond chance.
Somebody get on the topic ofschool.
He was like, I went to school.
I'm smart.

(46:01):
He was like, I was able tograduate high school.
If I can do that, I can run acompany.
And then the dad's like, youdidn't graduate, you idiot.
I paid everybody off.
And he's like, oh.
What did Brian expect?
Oh, he does say, like, I thoughtthat if you made it through high

(46:22):
school, you would go to college,you would become a smart kid.
That's not how that goes, Brian.
You're a terrible father.
Yeah, you can't, like...
He just throw money at thesituation.
Yeah, you can't freakinghand-hold this kid all of his
life, and then when he's 18, belike, oh, I think you can handle
it now.
Also, why do you think...
Okay, I'll give him maybe 25.
Why do you think he can run acompany at 25?

(46:43):
He's 27.
27.
Yeah, exactly.
That's so young.
The villain in this story is thefather.
I hate this man.
He's like, I so desperately wantmy idiotic son to run this
company.
He puts flaming dog shit onpeople's doorsteps.

(47:05):
Disgusting.
As a 27 year old.
He scoops up shit.
Did you see that scene?
Puts it in a brown paper bag.
He scooped it up, puts it in abrown paper bag, lights it on
fire, places it on someone'slawn, and then lights it on
fire.

(47:26):
And he does that on the daily.
It's not funny.
He's brain dead, damn near.
He's one step away from being avegetable.
But yes, Brian is telling him, Ipay for schooling.
What are you talking about?
And then Billy was like, youknow what?
I can prove myself.
Allow me to prove myself.
I will go back to school fromfirst grade to high school.

(47:48):
I'll start

SPEAKER_00 (47:49):
all over.

SPEAKER_01 (47:49):
I'll start over again.
I'll do each grade in two weeks.
And if I pass all of the grades,I get, I get the company.
And Brian is like, that's anexcellent idea.
He's like, yes, that's whatwe'll do.
You have two weeks to pass everygrade.
And if you do, you get thecompany, not Eric.

(48:11):
He's such a good dad that he's aterrible dad.
He, yeah, like at this point,you should not be putting this
much faith into your son.

UNKNOWN (48:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (48:19):
Like you're putting way too much faith.
You should be putting faith intohim that he can like open up
like a skateboard shop.
You should, right.
You should help him find hispassion.
Yeah.
Like, oh, I'll give you themoney to open up a video arcade
store.
Right.
We can do that.
Not run.

(48:39):
Yeah.
my multi-million dollar companywith 61,000 employees that will
now be unemployed if I give youone day of being in charge.
And of course, Eric is like,Brian, hold your horses.
Are you sure?
You want to leave Madison Hotelsand its 61,000 employees in the

(49:03):
hands of your son via this game?
I think this is more importantto that.
Madison Hotel is in your 61,000hotels.
And he's like, no, it's not.
And I'm just like, okay.
This is why I'm on Eric's side.
Let me work for a company for soand so years that I become the

(49:24):
vice president and you'rethinking about stepping down and
you're going to give it to yourdog shit throwing son?
I don't think so.
That's why he pulled out thatgun.
That's why he pulled out thatgun.
Stress induced.
I hope he wins the lawsuit.
Poor Eric.
He's been driven to it.
Right.
White man on the edge.
Ambition.

UNKNOWN (49:44):
It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 (49:49):
so Carl sets it all up he's gonna set up Billy go to
I don't even understand is Carlthe fucking secretary what do
you mean he's the chief ofoperations this is part of the
operations he sets up for Carl Imean for Billy to go to a new
fucking grade every two weeks sohe's starting from ground zero

(50:10):
I'm surprised he didn't start inkindergarten he really should
have started there but he startsin first grade So come Monday,
he's starting all over again.
It's Monday.
He's got his lunch packed.
First day of school.
He's getting on the bus.
He arrives and the first personhe meets is Miss Veronica

(50:35):
Vaughn.
She's not the first gradeteacher.
She's the third grade teacher.
He's interested in her.
He thinks she's hot.
She thinks he's an idiot.
And more will come from thesetwo later.
She's not with the shits.
And I like that about her.
And I wish she'd have kept thatenergy.
Anyone with the right brainwould have known to stay away

(50:58):
from him.
I wonder how much money Billy'sdad gave to that school to be
like, Yeah, he can definitely dothat for sure.
Enough to probably buy theschool.
Enough to probably buy theschool.
So he makes his way to the firstgrade classroom.
He introduces himself to MissLippy, who is the first grade

(51:19):
teacher, and she introduces theentire class to Billy.
And this is it.
He's doing this?
Yes.
We're doing this.
Right, we're doing this.
So to sum up first grade forBilly...
He hears a story about a dog.
He's having a great time.
The puppy who lost his way.

(51:40):
The puppy who lost his way, yes.
He's very invested in the story.
His fellow classmates havefallen asleep.
He's pissed off at the kidbecause somehow the kid lost the
dog.
And he's like, if you have adog, you have responsibilities.
You can't just give up onfinding your dog.
Yeah, he's like, this kid inthis puppy story only looked for
the dog for like an hour.
If you have a dog, you need toget your ass up and look for the

(52:01):
damn dog.
There's a dodgeball scene.
Billy goes to play dodgeballwith the kids.
At first, he's a little shybecause he gets out in like the
first five seconds, but he comesback with a vengeance and he's
coming back and he's throwingdodgeball full force at a bunch
of kids.
And it's hilarious.
I love when adults are mean tokids.

(52:21):
It's my favorite joke in movies.
That's interesting.
No, I love it.
It's hilarious.
There's like, there used to bethis one TikTok.
She took no one on it.
I think it was like a TikTok orvideo.
It was like this guy is yellingat someone.
He was like, youda-da-da-da-da-da-da.
And then they turned the camera.
It was like a little kid.
But it made to believe it's likethe, I don't know, like his

(52:43):
landlord or something.
I just love it.
It's so funny.
And then like he's having thetime of his life.
There's one scene he's eatingglue.
Did you see that?
Oh yeah, of course.
Have you ever eaten glue?
Will people eat glue?
No.
I like to put glue on my handand do the sticky thing.

(53:04):
Oh yeah, put glue on your handand then peel it off.
Yeah, I just love that.
But yeah, he's having a time ofhis life.
He's doing great.
The teacher, what's her name?
Miss Lippy.
Miss Lippy's having a time ofher life.
I don't think she really knowswhat's going on fully because
I'm not sure if that lady issober fully.
I can't tell if that's life,mushrooms.
She definitely has a little

SPEAKER_00 (53:23):
bit of hippie in

SPEAKER_01 (53:25):
her.
Yeah.
She definitely has a little bitof hippie in her.
Yeah.
She is what you think of a firstgrade teacher, but like to the
max.
But yeah, all's well and iswell.
Billy passes the first grade.
Woo! And to celebrate such agreat accomplishment, his dad
throws him a birthday party.

(53:46):
Which to me...
Shows how much the dad doesn'tgive a fuck.
Because, like, why would youthrow a birthing party for that?
Like, whose idea was that?
It's just weird.
Yeah.
And it's strange.
Extravagant.
There's clowns.
There's Rolexes.
People on stilts.
There's magicians.
There's balloons.
There's face paint.
It's like as if, like, aseven-year-old is, like,

(54:09):
turning.
There's Rolexes.
And, like, the.
Yeah, there's, like, pinatas.
Inside the pinatas, there'sRolexes.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It's wild.
While they're at the party, Ericis looking around and he's like
trying to come up with a way toruin Billy's chances.
So he could get the companybecause this doesn't make any

(54:30):
sense for him.
And he deserves a spot.
And I agree with you, Eric.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
I mean, it's just like this isridiculous.
It is ridiculous.
How am I supposed to be rootingfor Billy right now?
Like Eric, I am worried aboutthem 61,000 employees.
And you know what?
When I watched it, I was like,Eric's so terrible.
Watch it again now.
I'm just like, he's a littlejustified.

(54:52):
He's justified.
He's justified.
All of his reasonings.
All of his reasonings.
I would have pulled out that guntoo.
In my head, Eric came from apoor background.
He had to fight his way throughcollege.
He started bottom up as anintern at this company to vice
president.
And he's finally made it wherehe wanted to be.
And he's like, I'm going to getto my son.

(55:13):
Yeah.
I don't think he...
came up poor i think he probablywent to like harvard um but i do
think yeah he he still deservesthe company i feel like carl is
more like carl started as abellhop they said that carl did
start as a bellhop i what i likeabout carl i feel like carl

(55:34):
knows the way of the world andhe was never that invested in
his company because he's like hegonna give it to his son no
matter what And, you know, thatain't none of my business.
Yeah, Carl's like, I'm justhere.
I started off as a bellhop.
I'm just lucky to still be thechief of operations now.
Carl has inner peace.
He does.
And I hope to have that.

(55:54):
Just like, yeah.
If you want your son to have it,I'll make that happen.
If you want Eric to happen, sureor not.
If you want me to have it, evenbetter.
He's just inner peace.
I don't give a fuck.
He's like, I'm over 55.
I'm five years away fromretirement.
Let's all be, let's all be Carl.
Right.

(56:15):
Carl's just looking around.
He's like, I'm just happy to behere.
I'm just happy to be here.
So the party is bumping andBilly has now passed one level.
Hip hip hooray.
Now it's on the second grade.
Now he's in second grade.
All he has to do is likecomplete this like spelling bee

(56:35):
thing.
all he has to do is spell couchcorrectly and he passes the
second grade and he stumbles onthat and not before the word
couch trips him up not beforebullying the last finalist in
the spelling bee contest withhimself yeah he's like he's so
mean he's such a bully he ishe's such like a douche he's

(56:56):
such a douche he's like makingfun of her she her word was
couch She misspells couch.
Now it's his turn to spellcouch.
And he also cannot spell couch.
I could remember.
You just got in her ass for notspelling couch.
I couldn't remember if he wasgoing to spell it right or not.
I was like, does he spell itright?
Barely.
Yeah, barely.
Because I thought it was like,oh, is this why he runs off?

(57:18):
I couldn't remember.
So yes, Billy passes the secondgrade.
Now he's in third grade.
Who teaches third grade?
Now, we are introduced back toMiss Veronica Vaughn, who is
Billy's third grade teacher, whohe met on the first day of first

(57:39):
grade.
And Veronica Vaughn is not withhis ship.
Not with his ship.
She knows exactly who he is.
She thinks it's sad and patheticthat his daddy is paying for him
to redo school just to...
i would have to prove what dowhat who knows who cares but
she's not into it she thinkshe's a spoiled little nepo baby

(57:59):
who has nothing to offer and iagree with her i stand with
veronica bond in the beginning iwas reading for her so um billy
enters the classroom veronicaeven apologizes to the students
and she's like this is bullybilly he will only be here for

(58:20):
two weeks he is a nuisance sorryfor the inconvenience and he's
like tough crowd tough crowd didwe ever discuss we don't know we
haven't discussed but can wediscuss the fact that it is
inappropriate for an adult to bearound children and i think we
should all be a little moreconcerned yeah we should be
genuinely concerned likeabsolutely not i don't think

(58:42):
this movie would have been ableto pitch in today's age I know
it'd be crazy it was hilariousthere's like one scene where
like he's getting like loveletters from like the girls in
third grade and he's likelooking at all of them and he's
like oh shucks thanks Christineright thanks Sally and they're
like eight yeah it's fuckingweird no and then has he ever

(59:05):
heard of a G-R-E is it G-R-Eyeah no it's G-E-D G-E-D have
you ever heard of a G-E-D yeah Iguess not.
But he don't even have to dothis.
He has a high school diploma.
You ain't lying.
But anywho.
So, third grade is where it's atfor Billy.

(59:27):
This is where he shines themost.
This is where he hangs out thelongest.
This is where he makes hislifelong friends.
This is where he cements hisrelationship with these kids.
Third grade is his year.
He peaks in the third grade.
He peaks in the third grade.
We're introduced to some of thekids.
We're introduced to Ernie, afellow third grader.

(59:49):
Ernie is the cutest fuckinglittle boy ever.
He is so adorable.
That freaking haircut.
Freaking haircut and thosefreaking glasses.
And that freaking voice.
Oh, my God.
He's so adorable.
Oh, my God.
When I was watching it, I waslike, oh, my God.
I do not remember this kid beingthis freaking precious.

(01:00:11):
He's so precious.
He's so freaking adorable.
He's a star.
Where is he?
He is adorable.
I looked him up on Instagram andeverything.
I was like, I hope this littleboy is doing well.
Oh, how's he doing?
It looks like he's in the filmindustry still, but kind of like
the back of house, kind of.
Yeah.
Precious, precious little boy.

(01:00:31):
I was doing some research, and Ifound this TikTok talking about
the movie.
And in the TikTok, they had apicture of Ernie with the guy
who plays Jack.
Billy's stupid, like one ofBilly's stupid friends.
Yeah.
And he just looked so adorablein the picture.
He was just like...
I was just like, oh my God, whyis he so adorable?

(01:00:55):
He just looked like such aninnocent, precious little baby.
Right.
God, I'm obsessed with him.
I think it's so...
The idea of child actors isfunny because you have to get a
child to be serious aboutsomething.
And I love that.
It's also fucked up.
But I just think it's such acute idea when you meet a child
and they're like...
They be acting and they be deadass and they have to be serious.

(01:01:19):
And I need you to be for realwhen you do this.
Yeah, I need you to be for real.
You hear me, Ernie?
I just think it's...
It's just so funny It's preciousSo we're introduced to Ernie
We're introduced to Ernie That'slike Billy's bud They hang out,
they kick it Ernie's at thehouse Playing video games and

(01:01:39):
shit Even though it's likereally weird Ernie, Billy hang
out at the mansion.
Billy even gets Ernie to call upMiss Vaughn to see if she likes
anybody in the class and if thatshe would date anybody in the
class.
And Miss Vaughn is like, no,y'all are all children.

(01:02:00):
And Ernie's like, well, whatabout Billy?
And Miss Vaughn's like, Ernie,you're a bigger adult than him.
You blew it! You blew it! It'sjust funny, the thought, because
in the scene, you can't tell methat Billy thinks that Veronica
knows that he's talking aboutBilly.

(01:02:20):
You know what I'm saying?
You can't tell me that Veronicadoesn't know that Ernie is
asking for Billy?
No, I wholeheartedly believeBilly...
thinks that he's keeping like...
Oh, he's being coy.
I'm not here.
Right, right, right.
Veronica, I'm not on the otherline.
Right, like she knows thatyou're asking about the one

(01:02:43):
adult in class.
Exactly.
You blew it.
You blew it.
I did not blow it.
You blew it with your life.
Exactly.
So, one day, Ms.
Vaughn is sick and...
The kids have a substitute comein, and the substitute just so
happens to be the principal,Principal Anderson.
And he is a chubby, sweaty,shell of a man.

(01:03:09):
Seems like a really sweet guy,though.
Sweetheart.
Just, you know, awkward andglasses and corny.
yeah exactly so he comes in hesubstitutes for the students for
Miss Vaughn and we'll talk moreabout him later just know that

(01:03:32):
he's got the hots for Billy hedoes next scene that we have in
third grade Billy goes on afield trip with a bunch of kids
I don't know where the fuckthey're going.
Maybe some, like, um...
It's like they're going to,like, some, like, industrial,

(01:03:55):
like...
It looks like they're going to,like, the Pilgrim's House or
something.
Yeah.
Something like that.
Like, one of, like, theoriginal, like, 13 colonies.
Yeah.
Some shit like that.
Something like that.
They're, like, going to, like,Jamestown or something.
So while on the bus, Billy'shanging with his third-grade
friends that he's really bondedwith.

(01:04:16):
And one of the kids...
Double dog dares him to touchthe teacher's, Veronica's,
breast on the bus.
I dare you to touch Ms.
Vaughn's boobie.
And I was surprised with hisfirst reaction, which was, I
don't have consent or somethinglike that.

(01:04:36):
Because I can't do that withoutasking.
I was surprised he said that.
That was big for Billy.
Yeah, that was big for Billy.
But then he was like, do youdouble dog dare me?
And the guy was like, yeah.
So he goes up to Veronica.
He pretends to trip on her.
And she goes something aboutlike, go sit back down.
I double dog dare you.
Letting him know that she heardthat he was double dog dare to
touch her boobs.
And after that, the two hit itoff.

(01:04:58):
And I do not understand it.
It was like such a...
It was a huge switch.
Even when he went up there totouch her tit, she like laughed
it off.
She was like, it's okay, Billy.
Go sit down.
I double dog dare you.
I didn't...
So...
I was like, what?
This quickly?
So, like, after that, the kidsare off playing and interacting

(01:05:21):
with the field trip.
And those two are back talking.
And Veronica, to me, is justlike, I've been loving you ever
since you touched my boob.
I don't know what's happening.
No, it's, like, literally, like,the next day, she's just, like,
flirting with him.
And they're walking on the fieldtrip.
And she's like...
I'm just trying not to hold youto a higher standard than the

(01:05:43):
other kids, even though Ishould.
Wink, wink.
You hated him two days ago.
Did someone call you and tellhis daddy's nothing word?
You know what I think happened?
Exactly.
She Googled.
Google wasn't around then.
She...
Whatever you did back in 95.
She looked him up.
She asked around.

(01:06:04):
She asked around.
She called around.
She called around and said, youknow what?
I actually probably really needto lock in because this dude is
about to be heir to the MadisonHotel fortune.
And this is my way out of here.
This is my meal ticket.
So let me stop playing hard toget and start locking in.

(01:06:25):
because it happens overnightlike she literally on the field
trip she's like hey like I thinkI like you what would have made
more sense is okay so the nextscene Billy's best friend what's
his name Ernie Ernie pees hispants Billy notices and he pours
fountain water on his pants andthen shows everyone that he
quote unquote peed his pants andhow cool it is and Ernie turns

(01:06:49):
around he peed his pants and allthe kids are like oh my god
you're so cool oh my god Erniepeed his pants too what would
have made more sense is afterthat Veronica was like oh that's
cool of you but she liked himbefore that yeah it would have
made more sense if after thefact that Billy you know stood
up for Ernie and you know helpedhim in this moment that could

(01:07:13):
have been really embarrassingand detrimental to his
development as a Fuckingeight-year-old.
Then she would have been like,oh, you're not so bad.
Like, you have, you know,mature, you know, nurturing side
to you.
Yes.
But she was feeling him beforethat.
She was feeling him on thedouble dog dare you.
Yeah, she was feeling him whenhe tripped.
When he got on the bus.

(01:07:34):
Faked tripped and touched herboobie.
So weird.
Strange.
I don't get it.
Why does, why does, where isFarley in his career by this
time?
um Chris Farley is currentlyfilming is it Tommy Boy with uh
David Spade okay so this is likebefore he hits it big almost is

(01:07:58):
Tommy Boy his big break oh Idon't know Chris Farley's
freaking I know you be knowingrandom stuff is he on SNL yes I
don't know if he's still on SNLbut he was on SNL um but by the
way he's a bus driver he'shilarious I mean, he only did
like five movies before he died.

(01:08:21):
Shout out to Chris Farley,R.I.P.
R.I.P.
I'll never forget.
I didn't watch this documentary,but I saw this commercial for
this documentary that was aboutChris Farley.
And, you know, his co-star,David Spade, who was in Tommy
Boy with him.
it was so sad I was like oh mygod I was like ugh I can tell

(01:08:41):
that he really means this and hesaid about Chris Farley he was
like there's not a day that goesby that I don't think about him
and there never will be a daywhere I don't think about him I
was like ugh that's so sad I waslike oh my god that broke me he
said there's never been a daythat I don't think about him and

(01:09:03):
there will never be a day when Idon't think about him that's so
sad And it's just like watchingthat movie with them.
Because, you know, they hateeach other.
They love each other so much,though.
I know.
So sad.
R.I.P.
Shout out to Chris Farley.
What we almost would have gottenwas him as Shrek.

(01:09:26):
That would have been crazy.
That would have been crazy.
Because he didn't have aScottish accent when he did.
Right.
He wasn't supposed to beScottish at first.
Right.
He was crazy times like thebutterfly.
Right.
Anywho, bus trip goes amazing, Iguess.
Some hiccups.

(01:09:47):
Chris Farley eats everyone'slunch with his with Billy
Madison's two friends, which Idon't know how they got there.
Exactly.
Don't know how they got there,but they somehow got there on
the field trip, too.
And they were eating all thekids lunches along with Chris
Farley's character.
But yeah.
school bus goes well billypasses the third grade and once

(01:10:07):
again he has a party everyone'sattendance and attendance all
the school kids includingveronica which she's very
excited to see um so veronicacomes the party as she's having
a great time it's a party'swinding down billy introduces um

(01:10:28):
Veronica to his tent that he hasin his backyard.
This is where he lives for thetime being so he can focus on
his studies because in the bigold mansion there's so many
people that come and go with thestaff and his father's friends.
It's just too noisy in the 15room house.
He must stay in the tentoutside.

(01:10:49):
The 20,000 square mansion isjust too overwhelming.
So I set up a fucking tent inthe backyard.
I always thought that was themost random thing ever.
It was actually pretty on brandfor him.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, you very well could justhave your own wing of the house,

(01:11:09):
but sure.
You do act like athree-year-old, so I could
understand why you would want afort tent as your house.
He's glamping.
He was the original glamper.
That's true.
So he takes...
Miss Veronica Vaughn into hisbackyard tent where he resides.
He's showing her around.
She's flirting back with him.

(01:11:30):
I don't know who this woman isanymore.
I don't recognize her.
She turns so

SPEAKER_02 (01:11:34):
quickly.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:35):
She just turns so quickly.
She's flirting with him.
He's an idiot.
And just when they get closeenough, they're all cozy and
comfortable with each other.
They're just about to kiss.
and enters Carl to kill themoon.
And Carl tells Billy, look,Billy boy, I think Eric is up to

(01:12:01):
something.
He's got this conniving littlelook in his eye.
He was doing his evil littlelaugh.
I think he's trying to take youdown in some way.
And Billy's like, oh, gee,thanks for letting me know.
But I was about to make out withthis hot chick, and you really
interrupted that.
So I don't really care what youhave to say.

(01:12:21):
Carl's playing the long game.
Carl is playing the long game.
He not dumb.
Carl's like, I just want mypension.
I don't care.
Carl wants to be the head of thecompany.
He knows he's got to make nicewith Billy.
Maybe so.
I'm watching you, Carl.
I'm watching you.
Next, we get a montage of Billypassing...
Like the fourth, sixth, seventhgrade.

(01:12:46):
All up to the eighth.
The whole time we see like Erickeeping track of the grades that
he passes.
And then like angrily pokingholes and like pictures of Billy
because he's pissed off.
Yeah.
That he's succeeding.
So at this point, it is Billy'seighth grade grade.
party celebration.

(01:13:06):
He's made it to 8th grade.
He's passed it.
His next grade is 9th grade.
He's on his way to high school.
High school.
At the party, Eric, who has beentrying to find a reason to get
Billy out of this competition soEric can take over the company,
spots Max.
We might have spotted him acouple parties ago.

(01:13:28):
Principal Anderson.
Yeah, Principal Anderson.
um max principal and he finallyis a he's like trying to
initiate his plan so he seesthat the principal goes to the
bathroom he follows him and he'slike hey you ever see this
edition of i don't know likewrestling wrestlemania wrestle

(01:13:49):
292 and to this it peaks max'sthe principal's ears because he
turns around he's like where'dyou get that where'd you get
that He's like, I subscribe tothe magazine.
And Eric's like, yeah, I have asubscription.
I have a subscription.
And he's like, there's thisreally interesting article in
here about this guy, thiswrestler from the 80s, and how

(01:14:11):
he was called the Human Torch,and he sat on this guy's head
and murdered him.
You know anything about that?
max confesses it's like it was aplanned stunt please don't tell
me it wasn't supposed to happenthat way he was supposed to hit
my leg if he was running out ofair and eric's like i don't give

(01:14:36):
a shit this is what you're gonnado for me he tells principal
anderson that look you're gonnaget on the news and you're gonna
make a public statement andyou're gonna say that If Billy
Madison bribed you to pass everygrade and that he didn't
actually earn those grades, hedidn't actually pass the first,

(01:14:56):
second, third, fourth, fifth, orsixth, seventh, eighth grade, he
was paying you.
A thousand dollars per grade.
Or I'm taking this shit to thenews.
I'm telling everybody thatyou're a murderer.
And he's like, no, no, no, no,no, no.
You can't do that.
Those kids are my world.
And he's like, Eric's like,okay, we'll do what I say.
I love Max.
And now, poor Principal Andersonis being blackmailed.

(01:15:19):
Why do you keep on calling himMax?
His first name is Max.
Who knows that?
That's what I call him.
I don't know.
Why do you keep calling himAnderson?
Because he's Principal Anderson.
That's what everybody calls him.
He's not my principal.
We're the same age.
He murdered someone.
Okay.
I love how he's like, I love thekids.
I'm like, that's so adorable.

(01:15:40):
He's like, you can't.
Those kids are my life.
I'm like, aw.
That's so sweet.
Poor baby.
So while that is going on in thebackground, Billy begins high
school.
Back in his day when he was inhigh school.
I just want to mention before hegoes to high school, sweet baby
Ernie and the rest of hisfriends are like, oh, Billy,
you're going to high school now.

(01:16:00):
You're going to forget about us.
Us silly little third graders.
Fuck yeah.
And I was just like, oh, wecan't forget about Ernie.
That's it.
I just love Ernie.
Unfortunately, he won't forgetabout y'all.
He needs to.
Y'all need to forget about him.
when they're 27 they were likedo you remember that guy who
came to grammar school who cameto our third grade class for

(01:16:23):
like two weeks that was fuckingweird that was so weird they're
gonna be they're gonna traumadump something like that um but
yes first day of high schoolback in billy's day he was a
king of high school he had agreat time he was number one
fuck the fuck the studies I washere for the popularity.
So he thinks that his first dayof high school or his two weeks

(01:16:43):
of high school are going to goexactly the same.
He rolls up on the first day inhis red Mercedes.
Who knows what it is?
Sports car.
He's playing music loud.
He is very handsome as AdamSandler, a young Adam Sandler.
He pops his collar.
He gets out the car.
He thinks he looks cool.
But everyone's like, ew,laughing at him, which is a lie.

(01:17:07):
There's no way.
that a 27 year old which isdisgusting comes to high school
and the girl in a sports car andAdam Satter looks the way he
does and no one none of thegirls are swooning stop it yeah
that's that's actually yeahthat's unlikely like a 14 15
year old girl would be like ohmy god a boy he's so much older

(01:17:27):
he drives a sports car he's sogood looking right like
seriously there's no way thathe's not cool yeah he should be
he should be And he's rich.
Like, come on.
Hello.
And he's handsome.
Yeah.
But for whatever reason, thissecond round of high school just

(01:17:48):
isn't working for Billy.
He's being bullied.
People are putting manure in hislocker.
He's getting orange juice andslushies poured on his head.
This is not going good for him.
It's not going good.
He's in class and no one wantsto sit next to him.
Even the nerds, the real nerdsare like, yeah, we're the kids

(01:18:12):
who they used to bully beforeyou got here.
So thanks for coming because nowwe get a break.
You're welcome.
So because his first day ofschool went so terribly, Billy
goes to visit his old friends inthird grade, Veronica and, you
know, all the gang.

(01:18:32):
He's like, hey, guys.
Just checking in.
I got fourth period free orwhatever the fuck.
And I just missed you guys.
And they're like, oh, it's highschool.
He's like, oh, it's great.
And one of the kids goes, Ican't wait till I go to high
school.
And Billy grabs him and he'slike, don't you ever say that.
Don't you ever go there.

(01:18:53):
Cherish these moments.
It's a bad, bad place overthere.
Scares the shit out of the kid.
Veronica takes Billy outside andshe's like, what is going on?
I don't know why you're freakingout.
I don't know what's going on.
Billy's like, I want to dropout.

(01:19:14):
High school's not for me.
I want to come back.
I want to drop out.
I'm over this.
Veronica reminds him, stop beinga fucking baby.
We got money on the line.
My future's riding on this.
You only got a couple weeksleft.
stopping a baby push through shereally not like you poor thing
she's like get over it come onyeah and Billy's like you're

(01:19:36):
right before he leaves Veronicasays something along the lines
of like it's not nice beingbullied is it you should how are
you back when you were in highschool and he's like yeah I was
the bully in fact he was thebully so that night he goes home
And he decides to make hiswrongs right.

(01:19:59):
He tries to rectify his wrongs.
And he goes down the list of allof the people that he bullied in
high school.
And he comes across, I forgothis name.

SPEAKER_00 (01:20:13):
Danny.

SPEAKER_01 (01:20:15):
No.
Danny McGrath.
He calls him up.
And he's like, hey, is thisDanny McGrath?
And Danny McGrath is like, yeah,this is Danny McGrath.
I graduated in 1984 from RidgeLake High School.
He's like, yeah, this is me.
He's like, well, this is BillyMadison.
You know, I just want toapologize for all the mean

(01:20:37):
things that I did to you when wewere in high school.
And Danny's like, oh, sure.
OK, that's fine.
Billy's like, really?
You're okay?
Like, you forgive me?
And he's like, yeah, man.
Like, you know, water under thebridge.
Thanks for the phone call.
And then Billy's like, okay,thanks, Danny.
Well, take care.
He's like, you too.
You too.
And so Danny hangs up the phone.

(01:20:59):
We see Danny now turn around.
And behind him is a list thatsays people to kill.
And on that list is BillyMadison.
And he takes a red Sharpie andscratches out the name Billy
Madison.

(01:21:21):
He is no longer on Danny's hitlist because Danny had every
intention of murdering him.
He played it cool on the phone.
But Danny was out to kill.
I don't know when he's like, doyou remember me?
He's like, not really.
He's like, yeah, not really.

UNKNOWN (01:21:37):
Sure.

SPEAKER_01 (01:21:38):
I read that the list of the people, like, the other
people on the list were, like,names of crew members.
Oh.
That's good, at least.
That's good, at least.
The guy, I don't know.
What's his name, the guy thatplays?
Uh...
Sure, what is his name?
Steve...

(01:22:00):
Basami, or something like that.
So, you know when they did thatlittle, on TikTok, they were
doing that cake thing where it'sjust like, hear me out?
It's a cake thing, but it'slike...
It was like people had a cakeand they would...
Oh, and they would put who theirhear-me-outs were on the cake.
Okay, yeah, dude.
He's my hear-me-out.

(01:22:22):
Really?
You had to watch The Sopranos.
That's disgusting, actually.
He's so...
Oh, my God.
To me, The Sopranos...
He's always looked sickly.
Like, he's always looked like hehas, like, the suds.
But, like...
Right.
But on The Sopranos, he justplays like a badass.
He's in a mob.
He just got out of prison.
Ew.
You have to hear me out.

(01:22:43):
His eyes are like bulgy andbuggy.
No, on The Sopranos, you have towatch it.
Also, Tony Soprano is anotherhear me out.
I'm disgusting, actually.
George, you're sick.
It's the power.
It's the money and the power.
He weighs like 115 pounds.
It's something about himsometimes when he's not a

(01:23:04):
complete psycho.
No times is there anything abouthim.
Hey, it's a hear me out.
You can't judge me.
You can't yuck my yum.
Sick word.
Whatever.
He's such a good actor.
Different strokes for differentfilms.
Where was he in his career whenhe did this movie?
He's such a good actor.
I don't know because I alwaysthought his claim to fame was

(01:23:25):
being in Adam Sandler movies andit wasn't until maybe like Five
or six years ago, I realized hehas a career of his own where he
did many other things outside ofAdam Sandler movies.
He was a decent character onSopranos.
Yeah.
He's done many things.
I was like, oh, I didn't knowthat.
He's a really good actor.

(01:23:46):
He does a lot of shit.
I like actors who don't putthemselves in a box.
They do funny things.
They do serious things.
They do TV shows.
They do movies.
Right.
I mean, I think it's easier.
He's in Monsters, Inc.
He's fucking Spy Kids.
He's in Spy Kids?

(01:24:07):
He's a...
Oh, the inventor.
He put his inventor in numbertwo.
Yep.
That's what the fuck he wants.
In his creations.
Yeah.
It's true.
Well, he's not going to killBilly anytime soon.
I love how at the end he puts onlike red lipstick I'm like what
is that about yeah at the end heputs on red lipstick and we're

(01:24:29):
like oh yeah you're a confirmedcrazy person like if the hit
list wasn't enough the fuckinglipstick is taking it all away I
wonder if he like what was hisplan did he have a master plan
or was it like it's on site if Isee you you're done I think it
was just gonna be like a serialkiller spring yeah he lucky he

(01:24:52):
didn't start it off like becauseit doesn't sound like no one
else's name was crossed off ortaken like oh check kill right
yeah so i was wondering whathe's gonna do it he's probably
you know mustering up thecourage first but billy lives to
see another day so remembereveryone go to apologize go
apologize if you believe anyonei i must say this this one scene

(01:25:19):
Is the reason why I haveapologized to my past victims of
my bullying.
Now granted, okay, before y'allcome for me, I understand
bullying is wrong.
That was in 2005, 6, 7, okay?
And I was in like the fourthgrade, okay?
So before y'all try to crucifyme.
And I have rectified my wrongs.

(01:25:40):
I made my apologies.
It was only one person.
That's right.
Okay.
Wasn't a multitude of people.
Just one person that I needed toapologize to.
And because of this movie, thismovie, this very scene inspired
me to do it because I was like,I don't want to die.
Yeah.
She's like, I don't want to die.
And like, obviously what I do isgrow up.
She's like, I don't want to die.

(01:26:00):
This very scene is the reasonwhy I apologized.
Yeah.
It's good to apologize.
And just like Dani, she was verynonchalant.
She was like, oh my God, girl.
It's whatever.
It's whatever.
I was like, were you going tokill me right because it's like
was it because when I look backon it was pretty fucking bad
she's like oh my god like like Idon't care like you're totally

(01:26:22):
fine I was like oh my god am Iin your head looks like you're
worrying me right now don't playit off honey because it was a
lot like we could I could takeyou to lunch right and I would
also like to preface one moretime I was in the fourth grade
so I didn't know any better sheshe's come a long way I've come

(01:26:42):
a long way One could even saythat I've been bullied myself in
adulthood.
Oh, there you go.
Karma.
There's my karma.
There's Michael Muppets.
Oh, Jesus.
So yes, Billy is, you know, he'sdoing better.

(01:27:02):
He's trying to do his school.
He's apologizing for his past.
But unfortunately, when youstart going up, Someone's going
to bring you down sometimes.
Him, his buddies, his dad,they're sitting, they're hanging
out.
A news report comes on live fromMcKinley High.
I don't know.
We're here with Principal Max.

(01:27:24):
What's his last name?
Anderson.
Anderson.
And he's got something to say.
Principal Anderson gets onthere.
It's like a press conference.
There's cameras everywhere.
There's microphones.
There's reporters.
And he makes this publicstatement.
And he says that...
billionaire millionaire billymadison has paid me a lump sum

(01:27:46):
of a thousand dollars each gradei pass him he didn't actually
qualify to pass these grades hejust bribed me and he has been
coasting through this and i mustlet this be known and he looks
in the camera and he says i'msorry billy That would have
fucked me in the head.

(01:28:07):
Fucked me up in the head if Iwas Billy.
Because not only he knows thatyou know you're lying and he's
apologizing.
It's like no one else knows thathe's lying but you know that
he's lying and he's saying I'msorry to you on this camera
while he's lying about you.
I'm sorry.
And he looks so fuckingpathetic.

(01:28:29):
I'm sorry, Billy.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, Billy.
So Brian, the dad, watches thisand he's like, all right, it's
over.
You're done.
The agreement is over.
Clearly, he thinks his son,Billy, is doing what, you know,
Brian did as a dad to get, youknow, him through high school
and elementary school.
And Billy's like...

(01:28:50):
Dad, you have to believe me.
You don't believe me.
Like, this is a crock of shit.
You have to believe me.
And then Brian's like, I don'tbelieve you.
And he's like, Eric gets thecompany.
The gig, the deal, the bet, thegame is off.
And this causes Billy to spiral.
and to slip back into his oldways Eric of course is like

(01:29:14):
ecstatic he's like my planworked he's happy go lucky he's
like well this worked outperfectly for me and Billy is
spiraling he's going back to hisold ways he's drinking he's
sleeping until 4pm he's onceagain lighting dog shit on fire
and putting it on people'sdoorsteps and one night he gets
incredibly drunk and incrediblyplastered and he shows up at

(01:29:37):
Veronica's house and he He'sdrunk, and he's like, hey, baby,
let me in.
And Veronica's like, seriously?
Like, why are you doing this?
Why are you acting like this?
Like, don't you want to proveyour innocence?
I know that you didn't do this.
So, like, why are you lettingthis just happen to you?

(01:29:58):
And Billy's like, there'snothing for me to do.
And Veronica's like, I thoughtyou were better than this.
And he's clearly not.
Obviously, Veronica.
I don't know.
I don't get her.
I don't get her.
Why are you so invested in thisman?
He can't read.
Shit.
I know he's rich, but damn,girl, have some class.

(01:30:19):
Right, come on.
Have some freaking standards.
So, Billy goes on his way.
He goes back to his house to getdrunk, plastered, whatever.
The next day, Veronica pulls upat his mansion.
He's...
In, like, the pool area, drunkon the floor.

(01:30:40):
There's food, cans of beereverywhere.
She pulls him up.
She wakes him up.
And she says, I need to talk toyou.
She pulls him by the chest, byhis shirt, and she punches him
in the face.
He goes flying into the pool.
She hops into the pool, and shepunches him again.
She's beating the crap out ofhim.

(01:31:01):
And he's like, why are you doingthis to me?
And she's like...
why are you letting this justhappen to you why are you
rolling over and letting Ericjust take the company this is
supposed to be my bread andbutter you're supposed to be my
she doesn't say this but she'sspeaking it she's like why are
you letting this happen to youand he's like there's literally
nothing for me to do and she'slike you're better than this

(01:31:23):
she's like the Billy who I knowwould not allow this to happen
to him and I guess he has like achange of heart and he's like
you're right babe I must finish9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th grade
and take back the company fromEric.
And he does what any sane adultwill do.
Breast out in song.

(01:31:44):
We've got a musical number.
Got a musical number.
I don't know how it goes.
But everyone's there.
Everyone's singing.
The kids are there.
The third graders are there.
Ernie is there.
His beloved staff member isthere.
I forgot what her name is.
Black lady that he loves sodearly.

(01:32:07):
She's there.
She's there.
But yeah, this song motivateshim and rallies the troops.
So Billy's former classmates,the people from third and fourth
grade or whatever, they go tothe principal's house, Principal
Anderson, and they go, why didyou lie about Billy?

(01:32:29):
Billy said that you're lying.
So are you lying or is Billylying?
And the principal's like, Andbecause he loves those sweet,
precious children so much, hemustn't tell a lie.
And he goes back to the news,goes back to the reporters, goes

(01:32:52):
back to the cameras, and saysthat he lied about lying about
Billy.
And that he, in fact, did passthose grades.
He did pass those tests and thathe was lying about Billy.
And the reason is, is because hewas being blackmailed because he

(01:33:13):
didn't want news to get out thathe is the wrestler that killed a
man by sitting on his head 10years ago.
We've all been there.
Been there.
You know how that goes.
That old chestnut.
And so he reveals all of this inthis episode.
press conference that he has.

(01:33:33):
I don't know why this is, like,national news.
Or, like, even local news.
Local news.
I mean, it's gotta be messy.
Did y'all hear that BillyMadison, the Madison name is
sending his child back toelementary school?
Now that's newsworthy.
That part.
Well, you know, it's gotta startsomewhere.
We're following the story.

(01:33:54):
I guess.
So, now, Billy's like, he turnsto his dad.
He's like, Dad, did you see thenews?
And he's like, yeah, I saw it.
And he's like, okay, you believeme now?
And Brian is like, well, I guessyou're right.
You know, who are we to believe?
You know, he lied then.

(01:34:15):
He might be lying now.
He might be telling the truthnow.
He was lying then.
So, yeah, I think we should goback.
The deal's back on.
You can finish the first.

SPEAKER_00 (01:34:25):
No, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 (01:34:27):
No, I'm being, sorry, I'm being Eric.
Yeah.

UNKNOWN (01:34:32):
Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 (01:34:32):
Sorry.
I knew what you were doing, butI stopped because my brain kind
of glitched, but whatever.
So Brian is like, okay, the gamedeal, the bet is back on.
And Eric's like, the fuck itain't.
Are you kidding me?
The deal was that he passed eachgrade in the two weeks.

SPEAKER_00 (01:34:54):
He

SPEAKER_01 (01:34:55):
didn't do that.

SPEAKER_00 (01:34:56):
Hence,

SPEAKER_01 (01:34:56):
the company is now mine.
And Brian's like, yeah, but...
And then Eric's like, yeah, butshut the hell up, Brian.
Stop listening to your crap.
Okay?
Is the company mine or not?
And Brian's like...
No, you can't talk to me likethat.
And then Eric's like, well, I'llsee your old ass in court.

(01:35:19):
Hell yeah.
I'll see you in fucking court,motherfucker, because this don't
make no sense.
And Billy says, you know what,Eric?
Why don't we handle this mano ymano?
Without the lawyers.
Yeah, without the lawyers,without two weeks of me going
through all of this crap, let'shave a triathlon?
Academic decathlon.

(01:35:40):
A decathlon.
You know.
Reading, math, English,arithmetic, chemistry.
Sports, college.
All the fundamentals.
And whoever wins gets thecompany.
And is like, okay, yeah, I cantotally do that because you're
stupid.
Like you're going, whatever.
Piece of cake.

(01:36:00):
Eric's like, yeah, totally, wecan do that.
Sign me up.
I would be like, fuck no, I'mjust going to sue you.
Fuck off.
I was like, no, that seems likea lot of work.
I'm actually tired of this.
I've been doing a lot ofplotting and scheming and now I
don't feel like doing this.
A lawsuit would be much easier.
See you in small claims court.

(01:36:21):
Small.
I'm going for millions, honey.
Large claims court.
So after this, we get a montageof Billie training, learning
stuff.
Veronica's coming over and she'squizzing him on Facts and
numbers and dates.
The Spanish Armada.
He's learning how to sew.
Yeah, he's learning how to sew.

(01:36:42):
He's learning how to bake.
He's learning algebra andchemistry and science and
English and literature andShakespeare.
He's preparing for thisdecathlon.
It's a montage of all of this.
So in the next scene, thedecathlon begins.
The new reigning principalbegins.
gets up there, announces we'reabout to start.

(01:37:04):
Because Max is nowhere to befound.
He's gone missing.
He's gone through a lot.
The new reigning principal,which apparently was...
Did he introduce himself as theprincipal?
I don't know.
I just always say he was aprincipal.
I'm not really sure.
I don't know what he was.
Yeah, I don't know what he was.
I just called him the principal.
But he's, you know, he's the onefacilitating the decathlon.

(01:37:25):
And I think his only rule isdon't sleep with my cheating
wife.
Or don't...
Cheat.
But also don't cheat.
Don't cheat.
Yes.
Like my cheating wife.
Maybe that's what he says.
That's what he says.
So the decathlon begins.
I think the first thing they dois like math, geometry.

(01:37:45):
Billy loses it terribly.
Of course.
We got some baking in there.
Billy succeeds.
Eric catches on fire, which israndom, like fully on fire.
Next.
We have a track and fieldcomposition.
I don't know why this matters.
This shouldn't be a part of it.
I guess that was P.E.
Decathlon.
It shouldn't be a part of it.

(01:38:06):
It's like a track and fieldrelay.
Eric wins, which was surprising.
I would have put money on Billiefor that one, but whatever.
Eric wins this one.
Next, we have chemistry.
Billie, by cheating, wins thisone.
I don't that one I was just likeokay I get it's a joke but like

(01:38:29):
why would anyone think that hewould be able to pull a shoe out
of out of like a test tube yeahI don't I didn't get that one I
also didn't get what I didn'tget what the purpose of the test
was besides point then we havemusic a little violin a little
flute Eric wins that one yeahbecause Billy cannot play the

(01:38:50):
flute but then we have acting alittle Macbeth A

SPEAKER_00 (01:38:54):
little theater.
A little theater.

SPEAKER_01 (01:38:57):
Eric does well.
Eric does well.
But not as good as Billie.
To be or not to be, that is thequestion.
Billie puts on an award-winningperformance.
You think they're still teachingShakespeare in high school?
I hope so.
Yeah, people are still learning.
Girl, we're going to be learningabout Shakespeare to the end of
time.
When do you start learning aboutthe people...

(01:39:18):
Not the people we grew up with,but like...
Maybe Momo will, but when hestarted learning about dumb
people.
They're learning about them too.
I was watching Abbott Elementaryand they were like, one of the
main guy from Malcolm, notMalcolm in the Middle, the main
guy from Everyone Hates Chris.

(01:39:39):
He had to teach a music class orwhatever.
And he was like, list someoldies.
And the kids were like, LilWayne and and like all this
other shit.
And they were, he was like, no,like 20 years old.
He was like, like the Wayne is20 years, you know, it's an
oldie.
Like the oldies are changing.
Right.

(01:40:00):
Yeah.
Is that crazy?
So, yeah.
I mean, soon the kids will bereading the hunger games in
twilight.
Yeah.
Is there, I hope so.
I hope so.
I hope to, I hope to turn some,I would love to turn some kids
onto Harry Potter.
I mean, What is the literarynovel of the century?

(01:40:22):
I don't know.
They don't have it anymore.
For Gen Alpha.
I'm happy to have lived throughthat time.
Because I'm not sure if there'sgoing to be another time where
everyone was reading the samefucking book.
Like Fifty Shades of Grey,everybody was reading that shit.
A book.
Not a show.
A book.
Everyone's reading the samefucking book.
And that happened three times.

(01:40:45):
A couple fucking times.
That really happened four times.
Harry Potter.
Harry Potter.
Fifty Shades of Grey, which israndom.
Hunger Games.
And...
Twilight.
Twilight, Twilight, Twilight,Twilight.
There you go.
I was going Twilight witheverybody else.
Yeah.
And then you had them extra onesthat people, you know, floated
in.
Yeah, then you had those otherones that a lot of people were

(01:41:06):
reading, but not like everybodywas reading.
Yeah.
Crazy! So, Billy passes withflying colors.
Fantastic.
He's up by one point.
He's up by one point.
It is now down to like theJeopardy round, final lightning
round of this decathlon.
They are playing like a Jeopardystyle game and the categories

(01:41:30):
are like literature.
Categories?
English novels, Frenchphilosophers, business ethics.
That's some fun stuff.
Industrial revolution.
People's reaction to stepping ondog shit.
Yeah, the human response tostepping on dog shit is one of

(01:41:52):
the categories.
A little mix.
So, it's a mix of all things.
Eric is down one point.
Billy's in the lead by onepoint.
Whoever wins this, takes ithome.
This is the winner of thecompany.

SPEAKER_00 (01:42:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:42:06):
So, Eric gets to now pick Billy's question.
His...
Game buzzer winning question.
And he selects...
What does he select?
I don't know.
The Industrial Revolution.
I think that's what it is.
And I guess...
The effects of the IndustrialRevolution or something like

(01:42:28):
that.
Yeah.
Something about the IndustrialRevolution.
Of course, Billy being the idiotthat he is, he cannot...
articulate anything about theIndustrial Revolution.
And this is like a star-studdedevent, okay?
Everyone and their mama is inthis auditorium watching this

(01:42:49):
final round of this decathlon.
Yes.
Billy looks out to the audienceand one of the people in the
crowd is his first gradeteacher, Miss Lippy.
And he is inspired to now...
Connect the IndustrialRevolution to the story of the

(01:43:10):
puppy who lost his way, whichwas the story that Miss Lippy
told on his first day of firstgrade.
He goes on this tangent andconnects the Industrial
Revolution to the puppy whocould not be found because the
Industrial Revolution was ableto help America because America

(01:43:32):
was lost.
And the puppy, society, was ableto get back on track because of
the Industrial Revolution.
Like, if you don't get it, youdon't get it.
You know what I'm saying?
If you don't get it, you don'tget it.
Yeah.
The crowd goes wild for this,like, stupid story, this
ridiculous tangent.
And the principal, the newprincipal, is disgusted with

(01:43:56):
Billy's answer.
Disgusted.
He looks at Billy and tellshim...
That is one of the most insanelyidiotic things that I've ever
heard.
At no point in between yourincoherent rambling did you come
even close to anything thatcould resemble a rational
thought.

(01:44:17):
Everyone in this room is nowdumber for having listened to
it.
I award you no points and mayGod have mercy on your soul.
Billy says...
A simple no would have beenfine.
A simple wrong would have beenokay.
Zero points for Billy.

(01:44:37):
Okay.
Now it's Eric's turn.
Eric steps up to the plate.
Billy gets to select whatquestion Eric will get.
Between literature and FrenchRevolution and dog shit and the
human response.
Billy picks...

(01:44:57):
Business ethics.
What's her nickname?

UNKNOWN (01:45:03):
Eric?

SPEAKER_01 (01:45:04):
Yeah.
Eric, being the weasel that heis, doesn't know anything about
business ethics.
Even though I feel like heprobably would.
Because...
Yeah, I feel like he could havebeen able to come up with a lie.
Right.
But because...
Eric is not an ethical person.
He knows nothing about businessethics.

(01:45:25):
The nerve.
I'm sorry.
The nerve of Billy talking aboutan ethical person.
You're getting a job because ofnepotism.
That's not ethical.
Neither of you can give a classon ethics.
Technically, we don't knowwhat...
He did try to cheat the game.
But besides that, we don't knowhow bad Eric is when it comes to
ethics.

(01:45:45):
He appears to be unethical forthe sake of the plot.
he would have been a terribleboss but he would have deserved
the job so the question posed tohim about business ethics is
something to the effect of withEnron going under an insider
trading and companies having toadjust what is business ethics

(01:46:12):
and how does it look like todayand moving forward such an easy
question Relatively speaking.
I don't know.
That's kind of like.
It's like a.
I don't know.
Do what's right.
Hello.
I don't know.
Follow the law.
Have policies.
Company culture.
It's such an easy one.
Comparative to industrialrevolution.

(01:46:34):
And its effects on today'ssociety.
I still wouldn't be able to saysomething about that shit.
I'd be like.
car manufacturer yeah I guessthis has got to be the easiest
one I don't know what theeasiest but I guess yeah he
could have you know come up withsomething but he's not ethical
so he malfunctioned so Eric islike um business Ethics.

(01:46:57):
His brain malfunctions.
And he's like...
And he pulls out a gun.
It's funny that he brought thegun.
He planned

SPEAKER_00 (01:47:08):
on using the gun.
It's

SPEAKER_01 (01:47:10):
just funny that he brought the gun.
He brought the gun.
It's not like he...
Did he plan on having...
An episode?
Right.
If this didn't go your way, youplanned on shooting this man?
This is premeditated.
This is premeditated.
Why'd you bring the gun?
Oh my goodness.
He pulls out the gun and he'slike, I demand another question.

(01:47:31):
That's not fair.
This isn't fair.
How the principal and Billy arejust like, oh my God.
They don't.
They're like this fucking guy.
The whole auditorium has runout.
They're like, oh, fuck no.
But the principal and Billydon't.
They're unfazed.
Because they tell him, sit down,crazy.
He's like, sit down, crazy.

(01:47:52):
You lost.
Which is a crazy thing to tellsomebody with a gun.
Right.
So Eric now points the gun atBilly.
And he's like...
I will kill you.
And Billy's like, do it.
Then he cocks the gun.
And he's like, okay.
But he's like, ah, maybe, maybe,maybe I was joking.

(01:48:13):
I'm sorry.
Just a lick of time beforeEric's about to pull the
trigger.
Principal Anderson emerges andhis 1984 wrestling get up.
And he tackles Eric to theground.
I don't know where he got thewrestling costume from.
I don't know why he felt thatwas necessary to put it on,
but...

(01:48:33):
He tackles him.
Still not rendering Ericcompletely useless, Eric is able
to get the gun and is stillpointing it at Billy.
But luckily for Billy, he did avery good act by calling up his

(01:48:53):
old high school chum, DannyMcGrath, who he used to bully,
and apologized to him.
Because of this...
Danny McGrath is there in theaudience and takes out his own
gun and shoots Eric in the ass.
Now, where'd he get his gunfrom?

(01:49:14):
Rendering Eric disabled.
Where did he get the gun from?
Why did he know to show up witha gun, too?
Why is everybody bringing gunstoday?
Why y'all bringing guns onschool campus?
Right.
That ain't right.
So, all's...
Fooled for Eric.
He doesn't get the company,clearly.

(01:49:35):
Oh, man.
He probably going to jail forattempted murder.
Next.
Just kidding.
Now it's graduation.
Billy has...
That would piss me off.
Oh, no.
It's at his house.
Is this at his house?
At his house?
I don't remember, but I thoughtit was at a school.
I thought it was at a school,too.
That would have pissed...
I was about to say, that wouldhave pissed me off if y'all had

(01:49:56):
graduation.
Like, why is this...
For this one human being.
Why is he on stage?

UNKNOWN (01:50:02):
Right.

SPEAKER_01 (01:50:02):
He has some form of graduation.
Yeah, I'm assuming it's a housebecause if he had that with
everybody from high school, I'dbe pissed off.
So he's having a graduation.
He's succeeded.
He's passed all the levels withflying colors.
He's beat Eric.
Billy gets up and does hisspeech and he tells everyone
that he will not be taking overMadison Hotels.

(01:50:25):
He's going to college.
He's going to become a teacher.
The company will go to Carl.
And throughout this wholeprocess, Billy has discovered
his love for teaching.
And that he's going to go backto school and become a teacher.
I hope a P.E.
teacher because, sir.

(01:50:46):
Cannot teach me a damn thing.
He cannot be.
What you going to teach?
What grade?
What grade does he think hewould teach?
Right.
The state of our youth is.
Cannot be left in the hands ofBilly Madison.
You would do great as a PEteacher.
Everyone needs a little breakfrom all the academics.
Right.
Chill the fuck out.
Did you see how good you didwith dodgeball?

(01:51:08):
Yeah, PE would be great for you,Billy.
Right.
The English, the math, and thescience of the Veronica.
Bonds of the world.
Billy, not Billy.
Eric's also an attendance atthis graduation.
I guess like...
Maybe the dad made amendsbecause he didn't want to get
sued.
He's like, I see a lawsuit in myfuture.
So how about we squash the beef,Eric?
Because I'm not sure why Eric'sthere.

(01:51:29):
No, Eric should be in prison.
He tried to kill your son.
Brian's just an idiot.

SPEAKER_00 (01:51:37):
He's just dumb.

SPEAKER_01 (01:51:38):
He's just dumb.
Why was your idea never to giveit over to Carl to begin with?
Well, Eric was the VP.
That would make sense if it wentto him.
nonetheless so I guess Billylearns a little bit of something
he and Veronica end up togetherhappily ever after I'm glad he

(01:52:00):
doesn't take on the company howterrible would that have been I
mean yeah thank you I meanthat's the this movie rectifies
it's wrong by allowing him tonot take over the company mind
you if it was up to Brian hewould have had the company but
right Brian was probably likeare you sure yeah dad I can't

(01:52:24):
read.
I can't read.
In the end, Billy and Veronicakiss.
There's a lot of people in thisscene that kiss.
One of the most troubling kissesis this mom that they showed
throughout this movie that wasone of Billy's former second or
third grade students' mom orwhatever.
She's being kissed by two ofBilly's high school classmates,

(01:52:46):
like on the cheek.
And I was like, whoa.
Oh, I don't even remember that.
What I thought was crazy was oneof Billy's friends, not the tall
one, but the chubby one, triedto kill, hit that little girl,
tried to kiss a ninth grader.
Yeah.
They had, and then, yeah, theywas trying, they was trying to
have all these children make outwith each other.

(01:53:06):
I was like, why would y'all put,why would y'all have that, them
little boys kissing that lady?
I don't even, did they, theykissed her on the cheek?
The cheek.
It was like two boys.
They're like, she's like, I loveit.
I was more concerned about thegrown man trying to kiss yeah I

(01:53:27):
wasn't as concerned about thatone because she was like get
away from me as opposed to theboys that were like actually
kissing the lady and I'm justlike um that's not appropriate
all of it is sick it's fuckingsick Adam Sandler seek hope yeah
just kidding oh no hilariousmovie Justice for Eric.

(01:53:51):
I'm team Eric.
Justice for Eric.
I don't know what Veronica wasthinking towards the end.
She lost herself.
That part.
I remember liking Billy more andliking Veronica more.
And when I rewatched the movie,I was like, Veronica, what are
you doing?
Eric, I get it.

(01:54:12):
Billy, just lay in bed, please.
Carl's my guy.
Carl.
Shout out to Carl.
Be Carl.
In a world full of Billy's andEric's, be Carl.
That's how you get to be thehead of the company.
Have greatness thrust upon you.
That's right.
Step back and be like, oh, youwant me to run the company?

(01:54:33):
Sure.
Don't be such a tryhard.
This is his five-year plan, justto wait it out.
No, seriously.
I just gotta wait these twoidiots out, and I'll be in
charge.
It is low-key messy for him tobe like...
Eric's up to something.
Tell Brian.
Right.

(01:54:53):
He messy.
It's okay.
Messy boots.
Okay, well, this has been real.
This has been fun.
This has been real fun.
Yeah.
I just want to say goodnight,everyone.
Bet you didn't see that coming.
That was strange.
Alright, don't forget, eventhough we said it already, but

(01:55:13):
don't forget to like, rate,subscribe, review, even if it's
a bad review.
Tell your friends.
Tell your family.
Tell your mother.
Tell your mom.
Tell your sister.
Your brother.
And your brother.
And friends.
Okay.
Catch you later.
Bye.
Bye.