In this layered, vulnerable, and intellectually powerful episode of the Kink Series, we go far beyond basic BDSM concepts and drop directly into the psychology, ritual, and emotional architecture of kink with Mistress Audry Lu Black — a professional dominatrix, lifestyle FemDomme, educator, and respected kink community leader.
Together we explore how bondage, ritual, humiliation, sexual sadism, and power exchange can serve not only erotic expression but also nervous system regulation, trauma processing, and emotional liberation. What begins as a conversation about rope quickly expands into a rich discussion about worship, devotion, fear release, identity, surrender, and the transformative role of a Dominant who leads with intention and precision.
This episode opens the door to understanding kink as both art and psychology, and how deep D/s can create safety, stillness, and meaning for those who crave structure, containment, or catharsis.
• Why 20% of the body’s energy feeds the brain and how cognitive load, overthinking, and perfectionism show up in bondage scenes
• Bondage as nervous system regulation — creating stillness, presence, and relief for anxious or neurodivergent minds who struggle with meditation
• Somatic containment through rope and restraint for anxiety, trauma, and hypermobility conditions (including Ehlers-Danlos and other connective tissue differences)
• The paradox of safety through restriction — how removing choice, movement, and anticipated pressure can reduce anxiety and soothe a dysregulated nervous system
• Femme Domme philosophy and energetic leadership — what it means to embody dominance, hold power, and create psychological structures for surrender
• Sexual sadism and humiliation — how intention, emotional tone, and negotiated meaning differentiate harm from healing, and cruelty from catharsis
• The psychology of worship and groveling — why submission, devotion, and being at Her feet can be grounding, erotic, or spiritually significant
• Ritual in kink — how structure, ceremony, and symbolic actions frame scenes, build trust, and regulate the body’s response to intensity
• Lifestyle vs. professional domination — the differences in purpose, boundaries, emotional bandwidth, and the Dominant’s role in each dynamic
• Deep-dive negotiation practices — understanding limits, desires, tone, chemistry, and psychological triggers before entering a scene
• A full, realistic BDSM pre-scene negotiation role play so listeners can hear how safe, ethical, consent-based kink is structured before any play begins
• The Dominant’s internal process — emotional labor, reading the submissive’s physiology, and creating a safe container for intensity
• How humiliation can be affirming, transformative, or erotic depending on the submissive’s psychology and agreed roles
• Bondage as an anchor for embodiment — helping the mind exit constant vigilance and enter stillness, surrender, or erotic presence
Touch Me There: Vaginal Reflexology, Squirting Secrets & Orgasmic Magic — available here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0AsOZmGPvMiR3pQfVZKfxR?si=fFDg8SQqS7OCQQn5ptYGoA
Connect with the Guest
Mistress Audry Lu Black
Podcast: Placemaker for Perversion
Substack: https://audrylublack.substack.com/
Official Website: https://mistresslublack.com/
Mentioned Resources
Hani Cheng – Talk to the Peach: Sensual healing, feminine pleasure, and reconnecting with your body (Listen here)
Hani Cheng – Reflexology: Mapping female genitals with reflexology for pleasure and body awareness (Listen here)
Shameless Care — Use code PLEASME for $15 off at-home sexual health testing: shamelesscare.com
Eve’s Substack — Q&A, workshops, & exclusive content: https://pleasemewitheve.substack.com/
Please Me Podcast Patreon — Extended episodes & bonus content: patreon.com/PleaseMePodcast
SDC.com — Use code 37340 for a free trial membership
World Vision
Support survivors of typhoon & earthquake: worldvision.org
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