Letting Partners In: Overcoming Hyperindependence & Codependence in Polyamory

This episode of Poly Pathways tackles the complex challenge of letting partners truly show up for you, especially when past relationship trauma has built walls of hyper-independence. Hosts Kat and Doc dive deep into how polyamory culture can sometimes reinforce the harmful idea that needing help equals weakness or codependency. They explore personal stories—from major surgery recovery to cancer treatment—revealing how scary yet transformative it can be to accept genuine care from loved ones. The conversation unpacks why many people excel at giving support but struggle desperately to receive it, often shutting out partners who genuinely want to help.

Kat and Doc emphasize that receiving care is actually a skill requiring practice, starting with small gestures like letting someone cook dinner or tuck you into bed. They discuss how weaponizing independence during conflicts damages relationships and stress the importance of building emotional safety within your polycule before crises hit. Rather than waiting until you're falling apart to ask for help, they advocate for normalizing the giving and receiving of care through everyday moments. The episode concludes with practical strategies for communicating needs clearly, resisting the urge to apologize for needing support, and understanding that choosing to be vulnerable with partners is ultimately a gift that strengthens intimacy and trust.

About Us:

• Hosts: Kat and Doc
• Website: polypathwayspodcast.transistor.fm
• YouTube: @polypathwayspodcast
• Instagram: @polypathwayspodcast
• TikTok: @polypathwayspodcast

Resources (affiliate links):

• The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown | TED
• Drink LMNT (Electrolyte Replacement Drink)

• (00:00) - - Welcome & Intro
• (02:07) - - Independence, Hyperindependence, and Interdependence
• (21:29) - - Offering & Accepting Love, Support, and Partners
• (40:59) - - Being Present in a Supportive Relationship