June 5, 2025 • 45 mins
Brotherhood forms the cornerstone of men's health, extending far beyond biological relationships. During this Men's Health Month special episode, we explore what true brotherhood means - those relationships where accountability, vulnerability, and unwavering support create bonds sometimes stronger than blood.
We share personal stories of our earliest brotherhood connections, from elementary school friendships that transcended racial and cultural boundaries to adult relationships that withstand life's transitions. These early bonds teach valuable lessons about acceptance, loyalty, and the joy of shared experiences that carry forward throughout life.
What separates casual friends from true brothers? We dig into this distinction, discussing how depth of commitment, honest communication, and willingness to have difficult conversations define authentic brotherhood. The delicate balance between supporting your brother and enabling negative behaviors requires thoughtful navigation - something many men struggle with.
Perhaps most importantly, we tackle the dangerous tendency toward isolation that affects many men, particularly during difficult periods. Community building beyond immediate friendship circles provides essential support networks that combat loneliness and foster growth. Whether through formal organizations, recreational sports leagues, or neighborhood gatherings, these connections demonstrate how "when men lock arms, nobody gets left behind."
Join our Patreon community at popsandsonconversations.com for more candid discussions about brotherhood and men's health, and stay tuned for part two of this conversation. Remember - vulnerability represents strength, not weakness, and true health encompasses mind, body, and meaningful social connections.
Keeping Veterans Fit, Inc.
Keepingveteransfit.org
Please follow Pops and Son Conversations on the website, popsandsonconversations.com, and social media @popsandsonconversations
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to another episode of Pops and Son
Conversations, and this is Pops,aka your favorite seal Fox, rob
Malloy and.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Son aka Mr Check Three Times.
You already know it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah, man Jay, how you feeling brother.
I'm feeling good, you alreadyknow it.
Yeah, man Jay, how you feelingbrother?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling good, feelinghealthy.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Okay, Well, I'm glad to hear that, because we
definitely have something major.
For those of you that do notknow, June is officially
National Men's Health Month,National Men's Month National.
Give Us Our Due Month in June.
(00:54):
It's official, Jay man, it'sour month brother.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, we out you.
We out you man, we out you.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Hey, you know, shout out to all the fathers out you,
we out you.
Hey, you know, shout out to allthe fathers out there,
obviously, all the sons, all themen.
You know, national Men's HealthMonth is a special time in June
where we have to start talkingabout and mentioning health,
mental health, physical health.
Just kind of encourage you guysto, you know, see your doctors
(01:27):
regularly, make sure that you'recreating peaceful moments,
making healthier choices in lifeand, you know, building strong
relationships.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
You know we don't talk about it enough but, jay,
it actually shows up in oureveryday life, uh, the choices
that we make and don't make yeah, yeah, I 100 agree, you know,
especially with with health,like it's it's so easy to to be
unhealthy or make those wronghealth moves or move, uh, health
(02:01):
choices yeah, but you know,just staying conscious about it
goes a long way.
So I'm sure we'll kind of getinto some of those good habits.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, good habits, not so good habits, and
everything in between.
So again, welcome to anotherepisode of Pops and Son
Conversations.
And look, this is what we'regoing to do for you guys.
We want you to continue toshare our podcast, share our
(02:33):
platform, not only with you knowthe fathers and the sons out
there, but also with the mothers, the daughters, you know the
cousins and all that.
It's a family podcast and, eventhough you may not be a father
or a son, it's information thatcan be shared abroad and we want
to encourage you to continue todo that and we appreciate it
(02:56):
and I definitely want to showsome love.
That's right Now let's get intoit.
Jay, where do you think weshould start when we start
talking about men's health andrelationships and all that stuff
, and where you want to go tothat?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah.
So I want to.
I want to hit some that youknow we don't.
We don't really talk about alot and I can really sum it up
in one word, and that's going tobe brotherhood.
Okay, all right.
So brotherhood is, is one ofthose things that you know.
(03:35):
Some guys got it, some guysdon't, some guys understand it.
Um, when I think aboutbrotherhood, you know, uh, you
just think about the peoplearound you.
You know the people around you,your friend circle.
You know who do you?
You know who are you talking toyour sports with?
Who you?
You know what I'm saying, whoyou hitting the bars with, stuff
(03:57):
like that, you know, and thereason why it's so important,
you know the reason why it's soimportant.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
You know, yeah, it's it.
It is one of those things thatreally just depends on, you know
, your family dynamic.
I, I know I have a few friendsthat you know may be like the
only sibling who's a male.
They may not have grown up witha lot of of male figures in
their life and it may be alittle challenging for them to
(04:28):
kind of understand thisbrotherhood thing.
You know, I have a few guys andyou met them when we went down
to Jack's, ben Ran, gary.
You know those guys were guysthat I met in like middle school
.
But growing up, you know, mydad was military and so we
(04:50):
bounced around a lot, you knowtraveling.
But growing up in Jacksonville,you know, the first, I would
say, guys or boys in theneighborhood that I felt like
was brothers.
One was a Filipino kid by thename of Rod Shout out to Rod in
Jacksonville man, the wholeSabio guys.
(05:11):
And and also a white dude namedAndrew, so shout out to Andrew
Whalen.
These are guys that I met atfive, six, seven years old, you
know, and I grew up in a verydiverse neighborhood because
mostly, you know, it wasmilitary, so it was people from
all over the map and you know so.
(05:33):
I didn't see color.
You know, growing up I didn'tlearn about discrimination and
racism and prejudice.
I didn't know that until I waslike a teenager almost.
You know, in high school age Ididn't know anything about that,
(05:54):
you know.
So I knew that the kids wasdifferent and you know people
had different things going on intheir family and you know,
culturallyurally I peeped that.
But as far as favoring Blacksor feeling some type of way
about brown and white, I didn'tgo through that growing up.
(06:17):
Jay, how do you feel as far asin the early stages, uh, meeting
, you know, different young men?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, in the early days, when I think back, um, I
had a homie you know it's it'sfunny, cause these memories kind
of are just resurfacing now butI never forget, yeah, it was,
uh, it was a white kid namedJosh Josh White actually, OK, it
was me and I had another homienamed Edward Fry, and so he was
(06:52):
like a little chubby, littlechubby kid, black black kid, and
we all had what, no, what wasthe name.
It was first.
I want to say it was firstgrade.
It was first.
I want to say it was firstgrade.
Ok, yeah, no, actually Iremember back to second grade.
We had Mrs Sheldon in secondgrade and we would just be in
(07:12):
there, oh man, we'd be in thereclowning, just you know, joking,
laughing, acting goofy orwhatever the case is.
But those that like that's kindof my first memory of just kind
of having like a little, alittle brotherhood clique or
whatever you know going intoschool and just you know, always
being like, hey, what's up?
You know, we was always hangingout in school and stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
So, yeah, even, even that early on.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You know I remember that.
And yeah, it wasn't for me.
It wasn't like a you know acolor thing, or worried about
race or whatever the case is.
I've always just been one ofthose kids that likes to laugh,
and anybody that can make melaugh, you know what I mean.
We'll be good friends Because Ilike to laugh, I like to be
(07:58):
goofy sometimes.
So, yeah, yeah, shout out.
Definitely shout out, man.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I hope them brothers doing good Cause.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I, I haven't, you probably haven't even thought
about those names in a long time.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Hey look, you got to reach back out, man, you got to
reach back out.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah, um, but, yeah, rod and, uh, andrew, I talked to
them from time to time.
You know, I think that's whysocial media can be so effective
, because you can.
You can find some people thatyou grew up with you know what
high school, with college,military buddies, and I think
that that's a really coolopportunity.
(08:35):
But you know what?
There's a difference, jay.
There's a difference between,like, friends and brothers and,
uh, man, I think it's a.
It's a big difference becauseyou can have a lot of friends,
like guy friends, you can have alot, but there's always a
distinction.
(08:56):
Where you know people, you knowyou would call them your
brothers.
As far as brotherhood Now, I'mnot talking about your siblings,
but I'll talk about you know,this is my brother and sometimes
you know those brothers, uh,from your brotherhood, you know
is you know the saying is, uh,they say blood is thicker than
water, but, man, sometimes, uh,you meet some people that's even
(09:22):
thicker than that.
Right, they're close to you tohave your back, they're
nonjudgmental and, you know, canyou think back?
Or maybe even today, you knowsomeone who you would consider
like a true brother, but youguys aren't related.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Of course, as a
matter of fact, one of my closehomies, one of my brothers, just
let me know the other day thathe proposed and he's getting
married in August.
Yeah, in August.
So he put us all in a grouptext like, hey, this was going
down.
But yeah, so I got, you know, Igot, let me see, it's one, two,
(10:06):
three, probably about four thatI would consider my brothers
and we've just been close eversince high school.
We all went to the same, yeah,we all went to the same college
and we just got mad, madmemories just you know of, just
you know, really kind ofsupporting each other, watching
each other grow, having eachother's backs.
(10:28):
You know the parties and thefun and all that stuff is in
there in between too, butdefinitely a lot of late night
conversations and just reallyhashing some stuff out and
holding each other accountable,which I think is a big part, an
important part, of having abrother and having that
(10:48):
brotherhood.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, for sure you know you don't have any
biological brothers, man.
Hey, sorry, sorry, I couldn'thelp you out, man.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, I mean yeah, but that's the thing too.
So it's, you know.
It's even more emphasis on thatwhen you don't have any but you
find somebody that's kind oflikable, like you said.
You know, blood couldn't makeus any closer.
You know what I mean.
Sometimes you get that type ofthat bond and relationship and
(11:19):
one of your homies and it's likeman, you know, that's my dog,
like that's my road dog, youknow.
So you know, still thankful.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Brother from another mother for brother from another
mother.
Hey, you know, I have onebrother shout out to, to david,
you know you got your unclethere and you know, uh, when it
comes to that, you know we haveI think we're like 10 years
apart, you know, uh, he's the,he's the oldest, I'm the
youngest and of course there'stwo girls in between us and you
(11:48):
know my story is with mysiblings.
All of them, they was, they wasstep step ladder kids.
Right, they were, they were,they was one back to back to
back, and so then I came along,so I didn't really grow up with
them.
By the time I was like eight,nine, 10, you know they was,
they was already up out of there, you know, doing their thing.
(12:09):
And so a lot of our relationshipbuilding came as adults, you
know, especially when I got outof the military, when I got out
of the military move back toAtlanta, or move to Atlanta,
rather, you know he had, youknow, relocated to Atlanta and
you know he had relocated toAtlanta and you know, of course,
our parents were there andthat's kind of how we built our
(12:32):
relationship, you know, asadults, responsibilities and you
know just kind of shared, youknow some, some moments, you
know.
So we started spending a lot oftime together going to we went
to the US Open, man.
We went to the U Open.
Man, we went to the US Opentogether.
We went to a lot of basketballgames and stuff like that.
(12:53):
Matter of fact.
Matter of fact, man, we havethree championships together.
Man, shout out to the SmyrnaRec League, where they had the
over 30 teams, they had thecommunity teams.
So, yeah, we had uh, we, youknow, played for the the
community um teams and man, yeah, we won.
(13:15):
We won three chips in a rowthat's dope yeah and uh, that
brought us together, obviously,and you know, just a camaraderie
and it's, it's been a greatexperience.
You, he's I would say he isextroverted.
You know I'm a hybrid.
You know people don't thinkthat because when they see me
(13:37):
usually I'm talking, but yeah,he's very extroverted.
So, you know, when he's aroundhe's talking to stuff like that,
I get a chance to just be quiet, ain't nobody.
I get a chance to just be quiet,ain't nobody.
I don't have to make anybodylaugh, you know I can just, you
know, let him do do his thing.
So I think that that's, youknow, that's always fun.
I will consider my brother mybest friend and you know, of
(14:03):
course, my best friends, I wouldconsider them brothers and my
brothers.
My brother knows my bestfriends, I know his best friends
and you know, man, it's been apretty, pretty good journey.
So, as I'm thinking about itthough, jay, let me ask you this
man, like, what doesbrotherhood mean nowadays as far
(14:27):
as day ones, versus, you know,new friends?
You know some people are likeno team, no new friends, like I
really understood that conceptbecause as you elevate, you
better be getting some newfriends on different levels.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, it's mandatory.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's mandatory, so I mean, you know when.
When you start hearing, youknow about day ones versus team.
No new friends, man, what?
What comes to mind?
What are your first thoughts?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
so when I hear that I , I think that the uh, the no
new friends to me is kind oflike, just maybe, just like a
little, uh, a little old to allright, you know loyalty and
stuff like that.
You know people want to say thatwhen, um, because a lot of
(15:16):
times I guess we perceive thatany new friend won't be as loyal
as your previous friendsbecause they don't have really
any skin in the game, like theyhaven't seen you at certain
points, y'all haven't beenthrough anything, um, which
isn't always the case, but Icould see that.
But, um, definitely, day ones,man, you know that's that's,
(15:37):
that's your partner, that's who,that's who was there when, when
you, you know, maybe you wentthrough a bad breakup and you
know the homie was there.
You know what.
Know what I'm saying?
Get you, help you get back onyour feet or get over that, or
you know, let you buy 20 bucksor y'all went out and they
covered the tab.
You know stuff like that, justthose, those memories that you
have, that it's like you can't,you won't forget, and you, you,
(16:02):
you can't replace that, thattype of camaraderie.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah, you know, something stood out what you
said, kind of like theaccountability partner.
You know, speaking ofaccountability, you know I think
it's important to talk about,you know, in our communities,
kind of beyond the barbershops,beyond riding bikes and and the
(16:28):
group chats and things like thatman.
So how important do you thinkyou know community is, with not
only the you know you click yourhomies and stuff like that, but
just men building a brotherhoodoutside of those close ones and
actually being active in thecommunity.
Like how do you feel?
(16:48):
Like where does that stand?
How does that rate with thingsnowadays in your opinion?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, I think it's a big deal.
I think a lot of men have atendency to isolate, especially
when we're going through stuff.
You may be going through somethings mentally, emotionally,
spiritually.
Best way is never going to bealone.
Right, you're going to need tosurround yourself with some good
(17:22):
energy, some good people.
Get out in the community,around, some guys that you know
what I'm saying can help you.
You know, work through whateverit is, it's major, majorly
important, and the reason why isbecause once we see, you know,
once you do that, it breathes anew outlook for you, right, and
so you're also able to teach thenext, you know, coming up and
(17:46):
kind of create a new cycle.
And you know, as black men Isee a lot of times, you know, we
don't tend to want to expressor want to or feel like we need
to lean on somebody.
You know what I mean, but that'slike I'm saying, like that's
the exact opposite.
Right, we got to work moretowards being okay with, you
(18:09):
know, calling a brother up orcalling a homie up, and just
understanding that, the same way, you know, a lot of women have
those.
You know the women'll havetheir little girl nights where
they go and get the uh for sure,the ice cream, and uh, that's
right man exactly.
You know we gotta, we gottacreate a community like that,
(18:31):
where it's okay, you know, to bea little vulnerable and or, or
you know, to express yourselfand just express how you feel,
man, like not not bottling it in, and just get it out, because
you know it's always better outthan in.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Man that is so powerful and I'm glad that you
said that.
You know when we start talkingabout community again, you know
beyond just the people that weknow and went to high school
with and things like that.
You know as, as young men, youknow we grow up as adolescents
and young adults and sometimesyou know people move out of the
(19:08):
community.
You know you go to college, yougo to the military, you start a
business.
You know you move out, you dodifferent things and it's almost
like If you stay in thecommunity, it's deemed that
you're not making any moves.
If you don't go travel abroad,if you don't go create, you know
(19:28):
different businesses and thingslike that that you're not as
successful.
So I think that one of thereasons, or another reason
rather, is in that community,building those relationships,
because, like you said, man, wehave to prepare the next
generation as well as beinnovative and be strong and
(19:49):
build up where we are now, andso building that community is
not, you know, just to stickaround and said, hey, you know
what, I stayed around, I didthis, I was able to accomplish
this but to just kind ofstrengthen that foundation that
you grow up in.
You know you can't have an OGif you never taught anybody
(20:13):
anything.
If you're not a resource, thenyou know you.
You can't be an OG resource,then you know you.
You can't be an OG.
You know, people always thinkthe OG got to be the older guy
and and you don't really knowwhat his background is.
But he just wise.
You know, og man is definitelysomebody who is very intentional
(20:33):
about pouring into hiscommunity, about pouring into
the youth, about holdingeverybody accountable.
Like to me, man that is a, thatis an OG man.
That is somebody who caresabout not only the future but
embraces the past andunderstands that man.
We got to make some adjustmentsto have a strong presence and
(20:55):
to have an even better tomorrow.
So, you know, shout out toeverybody who you know
understands the importance ofbuilding that community.
You know, a lot of times, jay,you know, when you stick around
in that community it gets realinteresting because you may see
somebody you went to high schoolwith that you didn't really
know, or you know grade schoolor something like that.
(21:16):
But now they may be, you know,be the sheriff, they may be a
political position, they may besomebody like the superintendent
in education, they may be oneof the CEOs of one of the larger
corporations that employs andempowers economically the
(21:39):
community.
So I think, man, that alone isso important, why we have to
continue to build these strongrelationships.
They don't have to be your A1,day ones, but, goodness man,
make some solid relationships.
So, when it comes to, oh, myson is looking for, uh, a good
community center, or you knowhow can we participate and and
(22:04):
making an impact in theneighborhood?
Uh, because you definitelydon't want to be in a situation
to where, uh, it's, it's a a badsituation.
Now you're looking for help.
And that's the only time you'relooking for help.
You understand, right, right?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, yeah, and now folks looking around like who is
this guy Like you ain't.
You haven't reached out, wedon't.
You know what I'm saying.
But that's, you know.
That's how it goes and that'spart of why things can become
fragmented the way they are.
But in reality, if everybody,you know, is more connected,
then everybody can grow.
Everybody you know is moreconnected, then everybody can
(22:38):
grow.
Everybody, you know, it'sreally that village type of
mentality and that's why, youknow, just like a real
brotherhood, you lock arms.
You know nobody could fall off,nobody gets left behind.
You know what I mean.
So, yeah, super, superimportant for the community
aspect.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
(22:59):
So I wanted to ask you aboutthis is I kind of mentioned a
little bit earlier, but let mepose this question to you Think
about this loyalty, what loyaltylooks like in your brotherhood
versus enabling?
Because you know it's a littledifferent side to it.
(23:20):
Because you know, sometimes youknow we want to be loyal, but
then you know we got to hold ourbrothers accountable and not
just kind of let stuff slide.
You know, sometimes so like,have you ever been in that
situation where you was like man, look, I want to tell bro this,
but you know you like, you getwhat I'm saying, yeah, I get
(23:42):
what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You know it's tough, man.
You just have to kind of makethat decision because your
buddies are always going to feelentitled.
You may even feel entitled Likeman.
I've known you for 20 years.
Don't look out for me,meanwhile, you know they may not
even have the credentials orthe background to you know.
(24:04):
Look out for me, meanwhile, youknow they may not even have the
credentials or the backgroundto you know.
Put them in position.
So I would say, loyalty is sostrong and it's about, you know,
being transparent with yourbrother, you know, being real
with them, being able to just,you know, actually communicate
and talk to them.
And if you can do that on aconsistent basis, then it does
help with when you, when you,might have to make those
(24:26):
particular decisions.
I just think that a lot oftimes when you have a
relationship, especially you gotsome age to it, some some
tenure, if you will, you knowyour guys are going to feel
entitled, you know.
But the enabling part, I thinkthat comes with the
communication, because you haveto, you have to talk to him and
(24:47):
say, hey, man, you know what?
I can't give you anything forme.
That's, that's bad business.
Yeah, that's something that Ican't even build a future on,
because people are looking at meas somebody in position to be
able to do things and you canhook up your people, you know,
all day long you can hook upyour homie and stuff like that
(25:07):
man.
But you definitely don't want tobe that one that just fixes
everything.
I mean, even when it comes tomoney, man, there's situations
where somebody might need, youknow, some money, but then you
also realize, look, this brothergot bad habits right.
So you know, start out at $10,$100.
Now you're talking about youneed $2,000.
(25:28):
What you need $2,000 for, whatare you doing where you $2,000
in the hole?
That means you got some badhabits.
I can't just give it to you.
That will be enabling yourwhole troubleshooting and
resolution process, like you gotto feel it sometimes and man.
So you know the loyalty thingfor me, man, is just always
(25:50):
being transparent.
You know there's going to besome times where, of course,
obviously they need that and itmay be bigger than them.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
So it may be some family issues.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
It may be you know something to get them.
They're right there and insteadof them going outside of the
crew, then you know you had thatintervention.
You know, and I thinkinterventions are really
important because I don't wantto be on a one-on-one situation
and my guy mad at me because Iain't drop him two stacks Like
(26:22):
hold on, man, let's get someother folks involved here.
Not that I don't want to blessyou.
But if we can get five guystogether, no burgers.
But if we can get five guys.
You know that two stacks is 400.
But more importantly than that,you got five guys that are
going to hold you accountable.
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yep, that's why that brotherhood is so important, man
, so important.
So, so I thought, I thoughtabout this one too, while you
were, while you were speaking onthat.
So so, in that situation,that's your day one, right?
Yeah, so think about this.
Can you do you think you canoutgrow your day ones, or should
(27:05):
you outgrow your day ones, orcould?
Could it come to a point whereit's like because it's hard, you
know what I'm saying like youdon't want to.
You don't want to have to leaveyour day once behind.
Y'all was swimming, you know,in the kiddie pool, in the
sandbox, it's the sandboxWalking through the woods, man
that's what I'm saying Pickingup lizards and frogs, putting
them in jars and stuff that'swild.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Exactly, I think that there's some natural
occurrences that happen.
Like I said, people, you know,you grow up and you have
different paths.
You go to college, maybe youstart working, maybe you start a
business, maybe you're in thefamily business, maybe you
travel abroad.
You know the military.
So I wouldn't say that younecessarily outgrow them in
(27:50):
terms of you know thesignificance of the relationship
, but I do think that you knowsometimes, as you get older and
you transition into adulthood,you know you can, you can have
different paths and you reallynever know how to properly
navigate.
(28:10):
Just because you may have hugedifferences Like when you start
getting older and you start youknow high school and college and
military and things like thatyou realize a significant
difference between then and thenwhen you was little kiddie,
kids you know throwing a mudballs at each other.
You know you, you start seeingthat as a, as a person develops,
(28:34):
they find different interests,you see that they may start
rocking with a different crowd.
You kind of see those nuancesand the differences between you,
but you always keep thatfriendship.
That's why, again, I think thecommunication is so important
(28:56):
because I'm sure you havesomeone or a handful of guys
that you know you don't talk toall the time, but when you guys
do connect whether it be viaphone or through social media,
whatever man you like catch up,you have a good time.
You know you genuinelyconcerned about you, know you
have a good time.
You know you genuinelyconcerned about you, know their
progress in life and you knowthe family and stuff like that.
(29:19):
So you know, I think that thatis a very unique situation.
Each relationship, eachfriendship is unique and you
have to look at that one at atime.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah, that was good, I agree, I agree 100%.
You just especially with theaspect of because I kind of
experienced that myself One ofmy homies he was the first out
of the crew to have kids.
You know he had a little girland then he had a boy and none
(29:53):
of us had kids.
So you know, kind of watchinghim go through that, you know
what I mean Transitioning intobeing a dad and kind of you know
, having to not really be ableto, you know come out as much
and things like that.
But he was still the homie,like he's still the day one.
But you know you just kind ofadjust and you know things
(30:15):
change.
You know you grow differentlyand you have just different
obligations and responsibilities, but you always be the homie
though.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Always be the homie man.
You know that's interesting how, when you think about it, you
know there's differentfraternities, there's different
male groups and stuff like thatthat you know focus on, you know
building a brotherhood.
But I think that thesignificance of those is having
that structure, you know, likelooking out for your brother,
(30:49):
making sure that you know you'represent, you know not judging
but at the same time holdingeach other accountable.
So how, how important do youthink you know those type of
groups?
You know whether it befraternities or just kind of
community groups.
How do you feel about thesignificance of those?
(31:10):
Jen?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Yeah, I think it's essential.
You know, I think those type ofgroups do so much for men, for
the community, just for thepsyche of men and just, you know
, to understand and frame areference of how the world works
and how it can go.
I think it's important to seekthat out.
(31:35):
If you have an opportunity toget involved, definitely go for
it.
I don't see any drawbackstoward that.
I think that they do a greatservice overall.
I didn't get a chance to pledgeanything but you know I always
(31:58):
admired, you know thatbrotherhood and I know you know
a few Greeks, so always, alwayssolid guys and you know they
have a real good foundation andjust understanding of how
important it is for men toconnect and for men to really
(32:18):
lock arms and get some thingsdone.
So, just having that mindsetwhich, like I spoke about
earlier, it's a lot of guys thattry to thrive in this isolation
or try to do things alone, butwe have so many examples of how
it can be.
When you work together, youknow, when you come together,
(32:40):
when you, uh, you know, create a, uh, a community and a
brotherhood man, you, you knowwhat I mean.
It's it's the sky's the limit.
You know, we got plenty ofexamples.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, 1000%.
If you really just take thoseprinciples and apply them and
understand how important it isto have an accountability
partner, like it could be assimple as you know for me.
I remember a handful of guys.
We would always meet up severaltimes to shoot ball.
You know to play ball, you knowevery Saturday, definitely, but
(33:15):
you know we would have like ourWednesdays, wednesday nights,
and then you know, friday,saturday type thing, and I
remember man number one thatkept you in amazing shape, man.
Matter of fact, man, we need togo play some ball, man, we need
to go get out there and shootsome hoops.
There's a couple of courts wecan go to, so we're going to
(33:35):
have to have like a wholesituation out there, but I think
things like that.
I remember playing for a groupof, or playing with a group of
guys and we would pray before weplayed and people would be
(33:55):
looking for jobs, and I rememberthat sometimes, like we would
even have like ministers and wehad a pastor.
I remember pastor E shout outto pastor E I'm going to have to
look him up Cause it's been along time, but you know we used
to play a direction, and when Isay we used to get we I'm
talking about five o'clock.
5 o'clock, we got started.
We would play until about 5 to8.
(34:17):
Some people have to leave andget to work, man, but just the
camaraderie and then you'replaying ball, so you're having
fun.
It's competitive.
Sometimes folks want to swingon each other.
You can't have no guys andnobody not want to swing on
somebody in the course ofplaying ball.
If you guys have been in thisgroup for months or years, it's
(34:39):
going to get really competitiveand intense.
And, man, I kind of missed thatman and I used to just think,
man, we would play Monday,wednesday and Friday five
o'clock in the morning and itwould be nothing, jay, to get up
at four, four, 30 and drive youknow, 20 minutes, 25 minutes,
and then go all out and playball.
(34:59):
Yeah, that was, that was apretty amazing yeah, it feel
good yeah, it feel good.
You wouldn't even trip, and ofcourse it would.
It would hurt, but it wouldhurt so good afterwards yeah
like that's the'm saying, that'sthe best sleep, the best naps.
Yes, man, you can eat anythingand it wouldn't even bother you.
Recuperate your whole digestivesystem and immune system and
(35:23):
recovery system is on a wholeanother level.
So, yeah, man, I used to lovethat, I used to truly love that.
So, you know, know, got to getback into to doing that, because
if we feel this way, jay,there's got to be a handful of
guys that also feel the same wayoh yeah, for sure just looking
for somebody to uh, to initiateand then, uh, you know, join the
(35:46):
team.
So, speaking of joining the team, uh, quick reminder, we do have
Pops and Son Conversations,patreon.
Let me talk about theimportance of it as we wrap up.
The importance of the Patreonis to bring us together.
It's a platform where we canhave candid conversations, we
(36:08):
can have some intenseconversations, but at the end of
the day, it's very intentionaland we want to bring everybody
from all different walks of life, different backgrounds, you
know, even different culturalhabits and traditions.
We want to bring it all in oneplace where everybody that's
there is supposed to be there,right, and so that's what makes
(36:30):
it real beautiful.
So, obviously, you know, youjust go to the website, pops and
sun conversationscom and youcan check out the patron.
You can join us, man, obviously, here in June, men's health
awareness, man, we got a lot tosay, a lot to talk about.
Um, matter of fact, as we wrapup, man, we even have we're
(36:50):
going to be doing a 5K coming up, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Yeah, I'm excited too , man.
It's going to be a 5K walk foryour pops, though man Ain't
nobody what it's going to be a5K walk.
Man Don't even be thinkingabout seeing me jog.
I don't know.
No jogging, I don't know, nojogging I don't know, man, maybe
I mean who knows we're going tocross the finish line.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Oh, that's a fact.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
That's.
All that really matters, man,is that we start and then we
finish strong.
So, just like we did with thisepisode, listen, it's Men's
Health Month, men's HealthAwareness, it's just Men's Month
.
So we want you guys to staylocked in.
Check out the next episode.
(37:39):
Look like we're going to haveto do this part.
Two thing, man when we starttalking about this brotherhood,
we can't finish it in oneepisode, jay.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Nah, nah, I can't do it.
It's got to be a two part.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Okay, well, let's do a two part.
Hey Pops and Son Conversationyour favorite silver fox.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Hey, check three times we out.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
See you next episode.
Welcome to another episode of Pops and Son
Conversations, and this is Pops,aka your favorite seal Fox, rob
Malloy and.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Son aka Mr Check Three Times.
You already know it.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Yeah, man Jay, how you feeling brother.
I'm feeling good, you alreadyknow it.
Yeah, man Jay, how you feelingbrother?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling good, feelinghealthy.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
Okay, Well, I'm glad to hear that, because we
definitely have something major.
For those of you that do notknow, June is officially
National Men's Health Month,National Men's Month National.
Give Us Our Due Month in June.
(00:54):
It's official, Jay man, it'sour month brother.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, we out you.
We out you man, we out you.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Hey, you know, shout out to all the fathers out you,
we out you.
Hey, you know, shout out to allthe fathers out there,
obviously, all the sons, all themen.
You know, national Men's HealthMonth is a special time in June
where we have to start talkingabout and mentioning health,
mental health, physical health.
Just kind of encourage you guysto, you know, see your doctors
(01:27):
regularly, make sure that you'recreating peaceful moments,
making healthier choices in lifeand, you know, building strong
relationships.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
You know we don't talk about it enough but, jay,
it actually shows up in oureveryday life, uh, the choices
that we make and don't make yeah, yeah, I 100 agree, you know,
especially with with health,like it's it's so easy to to be
unhealthy or make those wronghealth moves or move, uh, health
(02:01):
choices yeah, but you know,just staying conscious about it
goes a long way.
So I'm sure we'll kind of getinto some of those good habits.
You know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah, yeah, good habits, not so good habits, and
everything in between.
So again, welcome to anotherepisode of Pops and Son
Conversations.
And look, this is what we'regoing to do for you guys.
We want you to continue toshare our podcast, share our
(02:33):
platform, not only with you knowthe fathers and the sons out
there, but also with the mothers, the daughters, you know the
cousins and all that.
It's a family podcast and, eventhough you may not be a father
or a son, it's information thatcan be shared abroad and we want
to encourage you to continue todo that and we appreciate it
(02:56):
and I definitely want to showsome love.
That's right Now let's get intoit.
Jay, where do you think weshould start when we start
talking about men's health andrelationships and all that stuff
, and where you want to go tothat?
Speaker 2 (03:15):
Yeah.
So I want to.
I want to hit some that youknow we don't.
We don't really talk about alot and I can really sum it up
in one word, and that's going tobe brotherhood.
Okay, all right.
So brotherhood is, is one ofthose things that you know.
(03:35):
Some guys got it, some guysdon't, some guys understand it.
Um, when I think aboutbrotherhood, you know, uh, you
just think about the peoplearound you.
You know the people around you,your friend circle.
You know who do you?
You know who are you talking toyour sports with?
Who you?
You know what I'm saying, whoyou hitting the bars with, stuff
(03:57):
like that, you know, and thereason why it's so important,
you know the reason why it's soimportant.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
You know, yeah, it's it.
It is one of those things thatreally just depends on, you know
, your family dynamic.
I, I know I have a few friendsthat you know may be like the
only sibling who's a male.
They may not have grown up witha lot of of male figures in
their life and it may be alittle challenging for them to
(04:28):
kind of understand thisbrotherhood thing.
You know, I have a few guys andyou met them when we went down
to Jack's, ben Ran, gary.
You know those guys were guysthat I met in like middle school
.
But growing up, you know, mydad was military and so we
(04:50):
bounced around a lot, you knowtraveling.
But growing up in Jacksonville,you know, the first, I would
say, guys or boys in theneighborhood that I felt like
was brothers.
One was a Filipino kid by thename of Rod Shout out to Rod in
Jacksonville man, the wholeSabio guys.
(05:11):
And and also a white dude namedAndrew, so shout out to Andrew
Whalen.
These are guys that I met atfive, six, seven years old, you
know, and I grew up in a verydiverse neighborhood because
mostly, you know, it wasmilitary, so it was people from
all over the map and you know so.
(05:33):
I didn't see color.
You know, growing up I didn'tlearn about discrimination and
racism and prejudice.
I didn't know that until I waslike a teenager almost.
You know, in high school age Ididn't know anything about that,
(05:54):
you know.
So I knew that the kids wasdifferent and you know people
had different things going on intheir family and you know,
culturallyurally I peeped that.
But as far as favoring Blacksor feeling some type of way
about brown and white, I didn'tgo through that growing up.
(06:17):
Jay, how do you feel as far asin the early stages, uh, meeting
, you know, different young men?
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, in the early days, when I think back, um, I
had a homie you know it's it'sfunny, cause these memories kind
of are just resurfacing now butI never forget, yeah, it was,
uh, it was a white kid namedJosh Josh White actually, OK, it
was me and I had another homienamed Edward Fry, and so he was
(06:52):
like a little chubby, littlechubby kid, black black kid, and
we all had what, no, what wasthe name.
It was first.
I want to say it was firstgrade.
It was first.
I want to say it was firstgrade.
Ok, yeah, no, actually Iremember back to second grade.
We had Mrs Sheldon in secondgrade and we would just be in
(07:12):
there, oh man, we'd be in thereclowning, just you know, joking,
laughing, acting goofy orwhatever the case is.
But those that like that's kindof my first memory of just kind
of having like a little, alittle brotherhood clique or
whatever you know going intoschool and just you know, always
being like, hey, what's up?
You know, we was always hangingout in school and stuff.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
So, yeah, even, even that early on.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
You know I remember that.
And yeah, it wasn't for me.
It wasn't like a you know acolor thing, or worried about
race or whatever the case is.
I've always just been one ofthose kids that likes to laugh,
and anybody that can make melaugh, you know what I mean.
We'll be good friends Because Ilike to laugh, I like to be
(07:58):
goofy sometimes.
So, yeah, yeah, shout out.
Definitely shout out, man.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
I hope them brothers doing good Cause.
Speaker 2 (08:06):
I, I haven't, you probably haven't even thought
about those names in a long time.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Hey look, you got to reach back out, man, you got to
reach back out.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Yeah, um, but, yeah, rod and, uh, andrew, I talked to
them from time to time.
You know, I think that's whysocial media can be so effective
, because you can.
You can find some people thatyou grew up with you know what
high school, with college,military buddies, and I think
that that's a really coolopportunity.
(08:35):
But you know what?
There's a difference, jay.
There's a difference between,like, friends and brothers and,
uh, man, I think it's a.
It's a big difference becauseyou can have a lot of friends,
like guy friends, you can have alot, but there's always a
distinction.
(08:56):
Where you know people, you knowyou would call them your
brothers.
As far as brotherhood Now, I'mnot talking about your siblings,
but I'll talk about you know,this is my brother and sometimes
you know those brothers, uh,from your brotherhood, you know
is you know the saying is, uh,they say blood is thicker than
water, but, man, sometimes, uh,you meet some people that's even
(09:22):
thicker than that.
Right, they're close to you tohave your back, they're
nonjudgmental and, you know, canyou think back?
Or maybe even today, you knowsomeone who you would consider
like a true brother, but youguys aren't related.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Of course, as a
matter of fact, one of my closehomies, one of my brothers, just
let me know the other day thathe proposed and he's getting
married in August.
Yeah, in August.
So he put us all in a grouptext like, hey, this was going
down.
But yeah, so I got, you know, Igot, let me see, it's one, two,
(10:06):
three, probably about four thatI would consider my brothers
and we've just been close eversince high school.
We all went to the same, yeah,we all went to the same college
and we just got mad, madmemories just you know of, just
you know, really kind ofsupporting each other, watching
each other grow, having eachother's backs.
(10:28):
You know the parties and thefun and all that stuff is in
there in between too, butdefinitely a lot of late night
conversations and just reallyhashing some stuff out and
holding each other accountable,which I think is a big part, an
important part, of having abrother and having that
(10:48):
brotherhood.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Yeah, for sure you know you don't have any
biological brothers, man.
Hey, sorry, sorry, I couldn'thelp you out, man.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah, I mean yeah, but that's the thing too.
So it's, you know.
It's even more emphasis on thatwhen you don't have any but you
find somebody that's kind oflikable, like you said.
You know, blood couldn't makeus any closer.
You know what I mean.
Sometimes you get that type ofthat bond and relationship and
(11:19):
one of your homies and it's likeman, you know, that's my dog,
like that's my road dog, youknow.
So you know, still thankful.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Brother from another mother for brother from another
mother.
Hey, you know, I have onebrother shout out to, to david,
you know you got your unclethere and you know, uh, when it
comes to that, you know we haveI think we're like 10 years
apart, you know, uh, he's the,he's the oldest, I'm the
youngest and of course there'stwo girls in between us and you
(11:48):
know my story is with mysiblings.
All of them, they was, they wasstep step ladder kids.
Right, they were, they were,they was one back to back to
back, and so then I came along,so I didn't really grow up with
them.
By the time I was like eight,nine, 10, you know they was,
they was already up out of there, you know, doing their thing.
(12:09):
And so a lot of our relationshipbuilding came as adults, you
know, especially when I got outof the military, when I got out
of the military move back toAtlanta, or move to Atlanta,
rather, you know he had, youknow, relocated to Atlanta and
you know he had relocated toAtlanta and you know, of course,
our parents were there andthat's kind of how we built our
(12:32):
relationship, you know, asadults, responsibilities and you
know just kind of shared, youknow some, some moments, you
know.
So we started spending a lot oftime together going to we went
to the US Open, man.
We went to the U Open.
Man, we went to the US Opentogether.
We went to a lot of basketballgames and stuff like that.
(12:53):
Matter of fact.
Matter of fact, man, we havethree championships together.
Man, shout out to the SmyrnaRec League, where they had the
over 30 teams, they had thecommunity teams.
So, yeah, we had uh, we, youknow, played for the the
community um teams and man, yeah, we won.
(13:15):
We won three chips in a rowthat's dope yeah and uh, that
brought us together, obviously,and you know, just a camaraderie
and it's, it's been a greatexperience.
You, he's I would say he isextroverted.
You know I'm a hybrid.
You know people don't thinkthat because when they see me
(13:37):
usually I'm talking, but yeah,he's very extroverted.
So, you know, when he's aroundhe's talking to stuff like that,
I get a chance to just be quiet, ain't nobody.
I get a chance to just be quiet,ain't nobody.
I don't have to make anybodylaugh, you know I can just, you
know, let him do do his thing.
So I think that that's, youknow, that's always fun.
I will consider my brother mybest friend and you know, of
(14:03):
course, my best friends, I wouldconsider them brothers and my
brothers.
My brother knows my bestfriends, I know his best friends
and you know, man, it's been apretty, pretty good journey.
So, as I'm thinking about itthough, jay, let me ask you this
man, like, what doesbrotherhood mean nowadays as far
(14:27):
as day ones, versus, you know,new friends?
You know some people are likeno team, no new friends, like I
really understood that conceptbecause as you elevate, you
better be getting some newfriends on different levels.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Yeah, it's mandatory.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's mandatory, so I mean, you know when.
When you start hearing, youknow about day ones versus team.
No new friends, man, what?
What comes to mind?
What are your first thoughts?
Speaker 2 (14:56):
so when I hear that I , I think that the uh, the no
new friends to me is kind oflike, just maybe, just like a
little, uh, a little old to allright, you know loyalty and
stuff like that.
You know people want to say thatwhen, um, because a lot of
(15:16):
times I guess we perceive thatany new friend won't be as loyal
as your previous friendsbecause they don't have really
any skin in the game, like theyhaven't seen you at certain
points, y'all haven't beenthrough anything, um, which
isn't always the case, but Icould see that.
But, um, definitely, day ones,man, you know that's that's,
(15:37):
that's your partner, that's who,that's who was there when, when
you, you know, maybe you wentthrough a bad breakup and you
know the homie was there.
You know what.
Know what I'm saying?
Get you, help you get back onyour feet or get over that, or
you know, let you buy 20 bucksor y'all went out and they
covered the tab.
You know stuff like that, justthose, those memories that you
have, that it's like you can't,you won't forget, and you, you,
(16:02):
you can't replace that, thattype of camaraderie.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, yeah, you know, something stood out what you
said, kind of like theaccountability partner.
You know, speaking ofaccountability, you know I think
it's important to talk about,you know, in our communities,
kind of beyond the barbershops,beyond riding bikes and and the
(16:28):
group chats and things like thatman.
So how important do you thinkyou know community is, with not
only the you know you click yourhomies and stuff like that, but
just men building a brotherhoodoutside of those close ones and
actually being active in thecommunity.
Like how do you feel?
(16:48):
Like where does that stand?
How does that rate with thingsnowadays in your opinion?
Speaker 2 (16:56):
Yeah, I think it's a big deal.
I think a lot of men have atendency to isolate, especially
when we're going through stuff.
You may be going through somethings mentally, emotionally,
spiritually.
Best way is never going to bealone.
Right, you're going to need tosurround yourself with some good
(17:22):
energy, some good people.
Get out in the community,around, some guys that you know
what I'm saying can help you.
You know, work through whateverit is, it's major, majorly
important, and the reason why isbecause once we see, you know,
once you do that, it breathes anew outlook for you, right, and
so you're also able to teach thenext, you know, coming up and
(17:46):
kind of create a new cycle.
And you know, as black men Isee a lot of times, you know, we
don't tend to want to expressor want to or feel like we need
to lean on somebody.
You know what I mean, but that'slike I'm saying, like that's
the exact opposite.
Right, we got to work moretowards being okay with, you
(18:09):
know, calling a brother up orcalling a homie up, and just
understanding that, the same way, you know, a lot of women have
those.
You know the women'll havetheir little girl nights where
they go and get the uh for sure,the ice cream, and uh, that's
right man exactly.
You know we gotta, we gottacreate a community like that,
(18:31):
where it's okay, you know, to bea little vulnerable and or, or
you know, to express yourselfand just express how you feel,
man, like not not bottling it in, and just get it out, because
you know it's always better outthan in.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Man that is so powerful and I'm glad that you
said that.
You know when we start talkingabout community again, you know
beyond just the people that weknow and went to high school
with and things like that.
You know as, as young men, youknow we grow up as adolescents
and young adults and sometimesyou know people move out of the
(19:08):
community.
You know you go to college, yougo to the military, you start a
business.
You know you move out, you dodifferent things and it's almost
like If you stay in thecommunity, it's deemed that
you're not making any moves.
If you don't go travel abroad,if you don't go create, you know
(19:28):
different businesses and thingslike that that you're not as
successful.
So I think that one of thereasons, or another reason
rather, is in that community,building those relationships,
because, like you said, man, wehave to prepare the next
generation as well as beinnovative and be strong and
(19:49):
build up where we are now, andso building that community is
not, you know, just to stickaround and said, hey, you know
what, I stayed around, I didthis, I was able to accomplish
this but to just kind ofstrengthen that foundation that
you grow up in.
You know you can't have an OGif you never taught anybody
(20:13):
anything.
If you're not a resource, thenyou know you.
You can't be an OG resource,then you know you.
You can't be an OG.
You know, people always thinkthe OG got to be the older guy
and and you don't really knowwhat his background is.
But he just wise.
You know, og man is definitelysomebody who is very intentional
(20:33):
about pouring into hiscommunity, about pouring into
the youth, about holdingeverybody accountable.
Like to me, man that is a, thatis an OG man.
That is somebody who caresabout not only the future but
embraces the past andunderstands that man.
We got to make some adjustmentsto have a strong presence and
(20:55):
to have an even better tomorrow.
So, you know, shout out toeverybody who you know
understands the importance ofbuilding that community.
You know, a lot of times, jay,you know, when you stick around
in that community it gets realinteresting because you may see
somebody you went to high schoolwith that you didn't really
know, or you know grade schoolor something like that.
(21:16):
But now they may be, you know,be the sheriff, they may be a
political position, they may besomebody like the superintendent
in education, they may be oneof the CEOs of one of the larger
corporations that employs andempowers economically the
(21:39):
community.
So I think, man, that alone isso important, why we have to
continue to build these strongrelationships.
They don't have to be your A1,day ones, but, goodness man,
make some solid relationships.
So, when it comes to, oh, myson is looking for, uh, a good
community center, or you knowhow can we participate and and
(22:04):
making an impact in theneighborhood?
Uh, because you definitelydon't want to be in a situation
to where, uh, it's, it's a a badsituation.
Now you're looking for help.
And that's the only time you'relooking for help.
You understand, right, right?
Speaker 2 (22:17):
Yeah, yeah, and now folks looking around like who is
this guy Like you ain't.
You haven't reached out, wedon't.
You know what I'm saying.
But that's, you know.
That's how it goes and that'spart of why things can become
fragmented the way they are.
But in reality, if everybody,you know, is more connected,
then everybody can grow.
Everybody you know is moreconnected, then everybody can
(22:38):
grow.
Everybody, you know, it'sreally that village type of
mentality and that's why, youknow, just like a real
brotherhood, you lock arms.
You know nobody could fall off,nobody gets left behind.
You know what I mean.
So, yeah, super, superimportant for the community
aspect.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
(22:59):
So I wanted to ask you aboutthis is I kind of mentioned a
little bit earlier, but let mepose this question to you Think
about this loyalty, what loyaltylooks like in your brotherhood
versus enabling?
Because you know it's a littledifferent side to it.
(23:20):
Because you know, sometimes youknow we want to be loyal, but
then you know we got to hold ourbrothers accountable and not
just kind of let stuff slide.
You know, sometimes so like,have you ever been in that
situation where you was like man, look, I want to tell bro this,
but you know you like, you getwhat I'm saying, yeah, I get
(23:42):
what you're saying.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
You know it's tough, man.
You just have to kind of makethat decision because your
buddies are always going to feelentitled.
You may even feel entitled Likeman.
I've known you for 20 years.
Don't look out for me,meanwhile, you know they may not
even have the credentials orthe background to you know.
(24:04):
Look out for me, meanwhile, youknow they may not even have the
credentials or the backgroundto you know.
Put them in position.
So I would say, loyalty is sostrong and it's about, you know,
being transparent with yourbrother, you know, being real
with them, being able to just,you know, actually communicate
and talk to them.
And if you can do that on aconsistent basis, then it does
help with when you, when you,might have to make those
(24:26):
particular decisions.
I just think that a lot oftimes when you have a
relationship, especially you gotsome age to it, some some
tenure, if you will, you knowyour guys are going to feel
entitled, you know.
But the enabling part, I thinkthat comes with the
communication, because you haveto, you have to talk to him and
(24:47):
say, hey, man, you know what?
I can't give you anything forme.
That's, that's bad business.
Yeah, that's something that Ican't even build a future on,
because people are looking at meas somebody in position to be
able to do things and you canhook up your people, you know,
all day long you can hook upyour homie and stuff like that
(25:07):
man.
But you definitely don't want tobe that one that just fixes
everything.
I mean, even when it comes tomoney, man, there's situations
where somebody might need, youknow, some money, but then you
also realize, look, this brothergot bad habits right.
So you know, start out at $10,$100.
Now you're talking about youneed $2,000.
(25:28):
What you need $2,000 for, whatare you doing where you $2,000
in the hole?
That means you got some badhabits.
I can't just give it to you.
That will be enabling yourwhole troubleshooting and
resolution process, like you gotto feel it sometimes and man.
So you know the loyalty thingfor me, man, is just always
(25:50):
being transparent.
You know there's going to besome times where, of course,
obviously they need that and itmay be bigger than them.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
So it may be some family issues.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
It may be you know something to get them.
They're right there and insteadof them going outside of the
crew, then you know you had thatintervention.
You know, and I thinkinterventions are really
important because I don't wantto be on a one-on-one situation
and my guy mad at me because Iain't drop him two stacks Like
(26:22):
hold on, man, let's get someother folks involved here.
Not that I don't want to blessyou.
But if we can get five guystogether, no burgers.
But if we can get five guys.
You know that two stacks is 400.
But more importantly than that,you got five guys that are
going to hold you accountable.
Now.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yep, that's why that brotherhood is so important, man
, so important.
So, so I thought, I thoughtabout this one too, while you
were, while you were speaking onthat.
So so, in that situation,that's your day one, right?
Yeah, so think about this.
Can you do you think you canoutgrow your day ones, or should
(27:05):
you outgrow your day ones, orcould?
Could it come to a point whereit's like because it's hard, you
know what I'm saying like youdon't want to.
You don't want to have to leaveyour day once behind.
Y'all was swimming, you know,in the kiddie pool, in the
sandbox, it's the sandboxWalking through the woods, man
that's what I'm saying Pickingup lizards and frogs, putting
them in jars and stuff that'swild.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
Exactly, I think that there's some natural
occurrences that happen.
Like I said, people, you know,you grow up and you have
different paths.
You go to college, maybe youstart working, maybe you start a
business, maybe you're in thefamily business, maybe you
travel abroad.
You know the military.
So I wouldn't say that younecessarily outgrow them in
(27:50):
terms of you know thesignificance of the relationship
, but I do think that you knowsometimes, as you get older and
you transition into adulthood,you know you can, you can have
different paths and you reallynever know how to properly
navigate.
(28:10):
Just because you may have hugedifferences Like when you start
getting older and you start youknow high school and college and
military and things like thatyou realize a significant
difference between then and thenwhen you was little kiddie,
kids you know throwing a mudballs at each other.
You know you, you start seeingthat as a, as a person develops,
(28:34):
they find different interests,you see that they may start
rocking with a different crowd.
You kind of see those nuancesand the differences between you,
but you always keep thatfriendship.
That's why, again, I think thecommunication is so important
(28:56):
because I'm sure you havesomeone or a handful of guys
that you know you don't talk toall the time, but when you guys
do connect whether it be viaphone or through social media,
whatever man you like catch up,you have a good time.
You know you genuinelyconcerned about you, know you
have a good time.
You know you genuinelyconcerned about you, know their
progress in life and you knowthe family and stuff like that.
(29:19):
So you know, I think that thatis a very unique situation.
Each relationship, eachfriendship is unique and you
have to look at that one at atime.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Yeah, that was good, I agree, I agree 100%.
You just especially with theaspect of because I kind of
experienced that myself One ofmy homies he was the first out
of the crew to have kids.
You know he had a little girland then he had a boy and none
(29:53):
of us had kids.
So you know, kind of watchinghim go through that, you know
what I mean Transitioning intobeing a dad and kind of you know
, having to not really be ableto, you know come out as much
and things like that.
But he was still the homie,like he's still the day one.
But you know you just kind ofadjust and you know things
(30:15):
change.
You know you grow differentlyand you have just different
obligations and responsibilities, but you always be the homie
though.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Always be the homie man.
You know that's interesting how, when you think about it, you
know there's differentfraternities, there's different
male groups and stuff like thatthat you know focus on, you know
building a brotherhood.
But I think that thesignificance of those is having
that structure, you know, likelooking out for your brother,
(30:49):
making sure that you know you'represent, you know not judging
but at the same time holdingeach other accountable.
So how, how important do youthink you know those type of
groups?
You know whether it befraternities or just kind of
community groups.
How do you feel about thesignificance of those?
(31:10):
Jen?
Speaker 2 (31:11):
Yeah, I think it's essential.
You know, I think those type ofgroups do so much for men, for
the community, just for thepsyche of men and just, you know
, to understand and frame areference of how the world works
and how it can go.
I think it's important to seekthat out.
(31:35):
If you have an opportunity toget involved, definitely go for
it.
I don't see any drawbackstoward that.
I think that they do a greatservice overall.
I didn't get a chance to pledgeanything but you know I always
(31:58):
admired, you know thatbrotherhood and I know you know
a few Greeks, so always, alwayssolid guys and you know they
have a real good foundation andjust understanding of how
important it is for men toconnect and for men to really
(32:18):
lock arms and get some thingsdone.
So, just having that mindsetwhich, like I spoke about
earlier, it's a lot of guys thattry to thrive in this isolation
or try to do things alone, butwe have so many examples of how
it can be.
When you work together, youknow, when you come together,
(32:40):
when you, uh, you know, create a, uh, a community and a
brotherhood man, you, you knowwhat I mean.
It's it's the sky's the limit.
You know, we got plenty ofexamples.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Yeah, 1000%.
If you really just take thoseprinciples and apply them and
understand how important it isto have an accountability
partner, like it could be assimple as you know for me.
I remember a handful of guys.
We would always meet up severaltimes to shoot ball.
You know to play ball, you knowevery Saturday, definitely, but
(33:15):
you know we would have like ourWednesdays, wednesday nights,
and then you know, friday,saturday type thing, and I
remember man number one thatkept you in amazing shape, man.
Matter of fact, man, we need togo play some ball, man, we need
to go get out there and shootsome hoops.
There's a couple of courts wecan go to, so we're going to
(33:35):
have to have like a wholesituation out there, but I think
things like that.
I remember playing for a groupof, or playing with a group of
guys and we would pray before weplayed and people would be
(33:55):
looking for jobs, and I rememberthat sometimes, like we would
even have like ministers and wehad a pastor.
I remember pastor E shout outto pastor E I'm going to have to
look him up Cause it's been along time, but you know we used
to play a direction, and when Isay we used to get we I'm
talking about five o'clock.
5 o'clock, we got started.
We would play until about 5 to8.
(34:17):
Some people have to leave andget to work, man, but just the
camaraderie and then you'replaying ball, so you're having
fun.
It's competitive.
Sometimes folks want to swingon each other.
You can't have no guys andnobody not want to swing on
somebody in the course ofplaying ball.
If you guys have been in thisgroup for months or years, it's
(34:39):
going to get really competitiveand intense.
And, man, I kind of missed thatman and I used to just think,
man, we would play Monday,wednesday and Friday five
o'clock in the morning and itwould be nothing, jay, to get up
at four, four, 30 and drive youknow, 20 minutes, 25 minutes,
and then go all out and playball.
(34:59):
Yeah, that was, that was apretty amazing yeah, it feel
good yeah, it feel good.
You wouldn't even trip, and ofcourse it would.
It would hurt, but it wouldhurt so good afterwards yeah
like that's the'm saying, that'sthe best sleep, the best naps.
Yes, man, you can eat anythingand it wouldn't even bother you.
Recuperate your whole digestivesystem and immune system and
(35:23):
recovery system is on a wholeanother level.
So, yeah, man, I used to lovethat, I used to truly love that.
So, you know, know, got to getback into to doing that, because
if we feel this way, jay,there's got to be a handful of
guys that also feel the same wayoh yeah, for sure just looking
for somebody to uh, to initiateand then, uh, you know, join the
(35:46):
team.
So, speaking of joining the team, uh, quick reminder, we do have
Pops and Son Conversations,patreon.
Let me talk about theimportance of it as we wrap up.
The importance of the Patreonis to bring us together.
It's a platform where we canhave candid conversations, we
(36:08):
can have some intenseconversations, but at the end of
the day, it's very intentionaland we want to bring everybody
from all different walks of life, different backgrounds, you
know, even different culturalhabits and traditions.
We want to bring it all in oneplace where everybody that's
there is supposed to be there,right, and so that's what makes
(36:30):
it real beautiful.
So, obviously, you know, youjust go to the website, pops and
sun conversationscom and youcan check out the patron.
You can join us, man, obviously, here in June, men's health
awareness, man, we got a lot tosay, a lot to talk about.
Um, matter of fact, as we wrapup, man, we even have we're
(36:50):
going to be doing a 5K coming up, oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Yeah, I'm excited too , man.
It's going to be a 5K walk foryour pops, though man Ain't
nobody what it's going to be a5K walk.
Man Don't even be thinkingabout seeing me jog.
I don't know.
No jogging, I don't know, nojogging I don't know, man, maybe
I mean who knows we're going tocross the finish line.
Speaker 2 (37:17):
Oh, that's a fact.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
That's.
All that really matters, man,is that we start and then we
finish strong.
So, just like we did with thisepisode, listen, it's Men's
Health Month, men's HealthAwareness, it's just Men's Month
.
So we want you guys to staylocked in.
Check out the next episode.
(37:39):
Look like we're going to haveto do this part.
Two thing, man when we starttalking about this brotherhood,
we can't finish it in oneepisode, jay.
Speaker 2 (37:46):
Nah, nah, I can't do it.
It's got to be a two part.
Speaker 1 (37:50):
Okay, well, let's do a two part.
Hey Pops and Son Conversationyour favorite silver fox.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
Hey, check three times we out.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
See you next episode.
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