March 7, 2025 • 36 mins
A father and son duo dive deep into what Women's Month truly means beyond just a designated celebration in March. Rob "Silver Fox" Malloy and Javan "Mr. Check Three Times" share personal stories about the influential women who shaped their lives, particularly their mothers whose wisdom continues to guide them decades later.
The conversation takes unexpected turns as they explore authenticity in relationships, with Javin revealing the most valuable advice he's received from women: "always be yourself." This leads to a thought-provoking discussion about reciprocity—how men often try to meet women's expectations while wondering what they receive in return. It's a refreshingly honest take on relationship dynamics rarely heard in mainstream conversations.
What makes this episode particularly powerful is their examination of how men can better support women by creating safe spaces where women can express themselves without judgment. They don't shy away from acknowledging toxic masculinity and the tendency for men to speak over women rather than truly listening. Their vulnerability in discussing these topics provides a blueprint for how men can engage meaningfully in conversations about gender appreciation.
The episode culminates with Rob sharing a remarkable piece of family history—his grandmother was recognized as Rhode Island's first woman welder in the 1930s, highlighting the legacy of female pioneers whose contributions shaped history. This personal connection adds depth and perspective to their celebration of women's impact.
Whether you're interested in intergenerational perspectives, relationship dynamics, or simply how men can be better allies to women, this heartfelt conversation offers wisdom, humor, and actionable insights for appreciating the women in your life—not just during Women's Month, but every day.
Please follow Pops and Son Conversations on the website, popsandsonconversations.com, and social media @popsandsonconversations
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Okay, friends and family, welcome to another
episode of Pops and SonConversations.
Of course, it is your favoriteSilver Fox, Rob Malloy.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And Son is here, Javin, aka Mr Check Three Times.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hey, that's what I'm talking about, man.
Hey, shout out to Mr Checkthree times, man, you have been
crushing it.
You know, in that spoken word,poetry speaks bespoke.
All that stuff, amazing stuffgoing on because it's a really
(00:41):
strong message and people listen, man, I was surprised how
people were just shutting theirmouths and they was actually
listening.
And you know the who's and oursthrough, uh, through the whole,
the whole poem, man that's,that's pretty cool yeah, thanks,
pop.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You know, hey, I got some on my hands.
I'm about to uh go up with it.
Just wait, y'all, just wait.
I got something in store foryou, I promise oh man, so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
So, look, we're, we're in, uh, the beautiful
month of march, which is women'smonth.
I mean, it's always women'smonth, it's always women's day.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Let's just oh yeah yeah, let's not just reduce it
to one month?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
right, we won't, but we will go the extra mile
because it is March and we doappreciate you, ladies.
Without you obviously nobodycares about nothing, because
that's where all the emotion andsensitivity and all the extra
concern and nurturing comesbecause of women.
(01:43):
You know, we're boring man, tobe honest with you, Without
women, dudes are boring.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Hey, that's a fact.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Right, just think about it.
You know, and of course,speaking for a man, because I am
one, I would rather hang outwith my fellas for a short
period of time.
But man, just knowing I'm goinghome or meet with my woman and
like I don't care how y'all feelabout me leaving man, I'm out.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
When it's time to go, it's timeto go.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
It's time to go.
And of course you, you know,sometimes you need that space
from your lady so you canappreciate each other right.
But I guarantee you, man, it'snothing like reconnecting with
your lady when it's time toreconnect, that's right.
You just have to have that.
You know, you just have to havethat space man.
(02:41):
That's a whole otherconversation.
You just have to have thatspace man.
That's a whole otherconversation.
But much love and respect toall the ladies.
We celebrate you every day, butespecially Women's Month, march
2025.
What direction do you want togo to man when it comes to just
talking about how women are soamazing, jay?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, you know, I want to.
I think we could, you know,just kind of take a little time
to just talk about some women inour life that we appreciate.
You know what I mean.
Okay, bring that to theforefront.
Yeah, you know, as I sit andthink, man, you know women have,
just, they've been so impactfulin my life, in my family.
(03:22):
You know so many aunts, ofcoursets, of course, my mom,
grandma, great-grandma, god resther soul.
You know, just like you said,like the nurturing man, the
caring, the love.
It's nothing like that, thatlove from a woman, right, they
just make you feel so, so goodabout yourself, like you could
go and and just just jump over amountain to conquer the world
(03:45):
man exactly superman, put thatcape on your back man you know
facts on facts, man for
Speaker 1 (03:53):
real women.
Pouring into men is unmatched,um.
They have an amazing ability totake little bits and pieces of
energy and multiply it Right.
You just have to be reallyconsistent in pouring into your
(04:14):
woman, to.
You know your woman, or thewomen that are around you.
You know your daughter, yoursisters, you know those that you
care about.
All you have to do is justconstantly pour into them, you
know, um, and and they'llmultiply that energy that you,
you give them.
So that's what makes it amazing, you know, for us, man, you got
(04:36):
to pick us all the way up Likewe're flat on our face.
Yeah, and you, you, just youknow you got to go get the crane
, or the jaws of life as theysay, and you got to pick us all
the way up, and even still wejust kind of lingering and
hovering until we get ittogether, man.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's true, man Brother.
Be down in the dumps.
Man Down in the gutters, broDown in the gutters.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
But there's nothing like the encouraging words of a
woman.
You know, just for sincerity,just for honesty, man will, will
change your life.
Man, I gotta be honest with you.
I ain't trying to get too deep,but that's that's really what
it is.
That's why, you know, some ofthe most golden moments are with
your mother, because you knowthey care about you and they
(05:25):
want to make sure that you knowyou feel good, but at the same
time, man, they have to give youthat hardcore truth, because
nobody else is going to give itto you like that.
Oh, man, yeah, yeah, and so, uh, you know.
So shout out to my mom, doloresMalloy uh, we, you know, um, she
, she's so unique because she'salways been tough Like, you know
(05:52):
, really tough, Like moms istough.
You know the women are like thetougher ones because you don't
expect them you know what I'msaying to give you a right cross
.
You know, right across that jaw, like that, and you never knew
that there that so much power init.
But, nah, on a serious note,she's um, doesn't have to say a
(06:14):
whole lot.
She's very, um, meticulous withher words and she's very
intentional in the messages thatshe gives you.
Like, my mom has never likegiven me a long speech.
She's like going to get rightstraight to it, like, look, you
know.
First of all, you already knowLike this is your lesson.
(06:35):
You know, you picked yourselfup, you see what the issue is.
Now you have to make sure thatyou take this learning
experience and you apply it soyou don't do the same dumb
things over and over and over,because now it's on you.
You know, just something thatsimple, that kind of lingers
with you hours, days, months anddecades after.
(06:56):
You know what, man she made agood point because you find
yourself still doing certainthings and repositioning
yourself that you've knownbetter doing certain things and
repositioning yourself thatyou've known better, jay, that
you know better.
You see yourself in that sameposition and nobody needs to
tell you anything.
You just need to reflect backto what mom or that significant
woman in your life poured intoyou and told you.
(07:17):
You just have to take yourselfback to that place, man.
They don't have to tell youagain.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, man, m don't haveto tell you again, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, man, moms, they gotthat, you know, I guess you
could call it like a magic touchat some point, like they got
that Midas touch man, one of thethings about my mom, like that
I just know.
I got from her, just from, youknow, just from observing and
(07:44):
just seeing, you know how shewas.
She was always like super,super patient, you know what I
mean.
Like she was never like, youknow, knowing that she might be
(08:09):
facing some disappointment.
You know, and I ain't going tolie, I did get.
I got my behind whooped right,like listen, that is a fact.
Plenty of lashings, okay, okay,but you know, it was always
with love and you know how theysay it's hurting, it's going to
(08:29):
hurt me, then it's going to hurtyou.
I'm not so sure about how truethat statement is.
I don't think it has validity.
Okay, you're not gettingwhooped right now.
Yeah, hey, that says blackfolks.
But nah, you know, yeah, likemom's super patient man, you
know, and I got a lot, I think,of just my being able to observe
(08:54):
and just kind of witness justpeople.
You know what I'm saying.
My mom is really like super,super smart, super intelligent a
reader, saying my mom is really, uh, like super, super smart,
super intelligent a reader andshe's always, um, I don't know
what, what's the word like uh,empathetic, you know empathetic,
kind of able to to see, youknow what people not still able
(09:18):
to, to kind of peep from afar,like you gotta, like, you gotta
mind your business too, but youstill gotta see, like what, what
people you know what I'm sayinglike like what people got going
on man, so, um, yeah, man,shout out, shout out to mom, um,
so many lessons, so many, so somuch instilled and just um, so
(09:40):
much love, man, yeah, so muchlove.
Yeah, yeah, I dig that, so muchlove.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, yeah, I dig that.
Let's talk about when it comesto relationships, jay, what has
been the best advice that you'vegotten from a woman, whether it
was a best friend, whether itwas mom, whether it was grandma
what do you feel like was one ofthe most impactful things
(10:07):
lessons or the most impactfuladvice, I should say when it
came to relationships, whetherhow to heal, how to approach it,
any of those aspects?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah, the best lesson I definitely would say probably
.
For me the best lesson was justalways be yourself.
Be yourself.
Don't try to impress orshapeshift into something that
you're not, because you want awoman that is going to love and
(10:45):
like you for who you are.
So no flexing, no flogging.
You know Not the flog?
Hey, that's some slang, ain'tit?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
That's regional, that's regional.
But yeah, you know, just nofaking it, man.
Definitely, just be yourselfand always do your best.
You know, give it your best andif, at the end of the day, you
know you did your best, then hey, you got nothing to hold your
head over, so yeah, when itcomes to relationship, I just
(11:26):
always be myself.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I think that's powerful.
I want to pivot a little bit.
I know, uh, you know we'regiving women their flowers.
I also have to give, uh.
Put women on notice, uh.
And you sparked it, though, jay.
You sparked it when you saidyou know, be yourself.
You know, a lot of times menact a certain way because they
(11:51):
want to impress a woman.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh, 100%.
You know what I?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
mean, I don't think that women really understand
that, like, when, when they talkabout representative, it's not
a representative.
They don't want to be who theyare, but they want to be someone
who you can appreciate becauseof what you have been describing
, what you've been talking about.
Like you know, ladies will havea whole conversation about what
(12:15):
she likes men to do and thenwonder why men are trying to do
what she said she likes men todo, right, you know, hey, yeah,
I'd like to.
You know, boat rides are reallynice and you know weekend trips
or spa days, and he's thinkingto say I don't do none of that.
(12:36):
He's thinking his head, I don'tknow when I horseback riding,
you know, like, they gohorseback riding every other
weekend or something.
Stop, right.
So just, you know, guys aregoing to do the things or
attempt and, as the lady say, aguy that pays attention right is
(12:57):
going to notice some of thethings that she mentioned, and
so he's going to try his best tofacilitate that, if you will
Right, if you will right and sogot as, uh, you said, jay, you
know, being yourself, there'ssome things that he may not even
(13:17):
be with he may.
Are you talking about?
Yeah, I like seafood.
I want to go and just have afresh grouper.
And you know, snapper and allthat and a guy like me.
I'm going to get sick.
I'm going to get ill if I takeyou to a restaurant and you're
eating ill Seriously, right, andyou know you talk.
(13:41):
Oh yeah, I want a grouper andall this.
I don't know why grouper keepscoming into mind, but a lot of
ladies be talking about you know.
Meanwhile, you know Good Well,you got tilapia and catfish in
your freezer.
Come on, stop playing with me.
You might have some fish sticksin there, man.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
No, seriously.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Straight up man, but you want snapper and grouper
okay.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You want the salmon and the no grouper.
Nah, I ain't never had none ofthat.
I'm cool on that.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah, I'm super cool on that.
But you know I said that to sayyou made a good point about
being yourself.
I think that if we really lookat it as face value, you know
there may be some things thatthat you may have to compromise,
because everything else youknow the vibe is good.
You're physically attracted,because everything else you know
(14:30):
the vibe is good.
You're physically attracted tothat person, you know.
You like their intellect, theirvernacular, you like everything
about them, their style, theirpresence.
But there may be some thingsit's like OK, you're not really
into that, or you may not beinto that, or maybe foreign to
you, or you may not be into thator may be foreign to you.
(14:53):
These are really theopportunities to see if you're
willing to adapt and compromise,because it's going to take some
give and take for relationshipsto work, even getting to know
part Like, let me tell yousomething that's crazy.
We'll get back to you I mean,we're talking about you ladies
but we'll get back to giving youthe fly.
Right now I just want to giveyou some game.
Can we give you game first?
Can we give you game alongsidethe fly?
(15:16):
Look, a lot of ladies are outhere with a list of demands.
The lods, I call them man,these ladies have a list of
demands.
Uh, 5, 11, 5'11 or better, allhis teeth.
No side teeth missing.
He has to have style, he has tobe able to change not even a
(15:42):
tire man change your flooring,your tiles or something like
that.
He needs to come with all thisstuff, right.
But what does he get in returnwhen he brings all that to the
table and more?
And of course, you have to berealistic.
(16:03):
He may not be able to do allthose things, but he can learn
to do those things.
But what is his incentive?
What is his incentive?
And thisoh, what is hisincentive?
And this is what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about the guy thatis a good catch.
You know your lady's talkingabout you're a good catch and
things like that.
I'm not talking about the bums.
The bums is not going to doanything anyway.
(16:24):
He don't care.
It's just a numbers game to him.
Either you holler at him or youdon't.
If you talk to him again, hedoesn't really care.
But when we're talking about anactual good match, like
brothers need incentives, man.
Yeah, incentives is important,yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Yeah, yeah, you got to have something to, because,
at the end of the day, if, like,it would go either way.
If I got all this, I'm bringingthis to the table, which I'm
meeting your demands right.
Supply and demand.
I got the supplies to meet thedemand.
Now we didn't came to the point.
And what's on the table for me?
(17:05):
Where's my plate?
Where am I going?
Come on, it can't be lopsided.
Listen, I'm a libra, soeverything is always gonna come
down to balance with me andreciprocation.
And if, if I don't feel thereciprocation, if I don't feel
the balance, I might, I mightbounce, and that's just being
(17:27):
honest.
That's just me.
I have a really hard time withyou know, knowing that I might
be providing this, that and athird pulling this way, or even
in conversation, like if wetalking, and I feel like I'm
pulling, like I'm pulling thelike.
I got the conversation on myback.
(17:48):
I'm carrying this all Like.
Why am I doing this?
There's no, no, I'm not doingthat man.
I'm carrying this all Like.
Why am I doing this?
There's no, no, I'm not doingthat man.
And I hate to go off on atangent right now.
I kind of went off on a tangentright there, but you sparked it
all.
Pops, I did, you sparked thatall.
But yeah, man, just for me it'sbalance.
So the reciprocation, and if Ihave what it takes and you
(18:13):
recognize that, then it's onlyright for you to, you know, to
reciprocate and meet my, meet myenergy and meet me where I am.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
yeah, I like that and that's fair.
Let's be honest, that's fair.
Uh, you, you want someone who'sgoing to put in some effort you
know, effort goes a long wayright?
Just somebody who is concerned,somebody who is putting that
effort using their energy theirresources and being patient and
(18:42):
understanding man.
that goes a long way versusbuying or just saying something
or just doing something in themoment to just get through that,
that effort and thatconsistency of just showing
someone that you truly careabout their feelings for one and
(19:02):
you are enjoying getting toknow them and who they are to
the core.
So let me add this, because Ithink that this is important and
this may take us all the wayout of of of this particular
episode, but I want to talkabout, um, how us men can
support and uplift women more,because I will take
(19:24):
responsibility as acknowledgingnot that I'm part of that
community, but I willacknowledge that there is way
too many men that are aredegrading, that are talking
about our women, that are, youknow, just bringing out a lot of
negative connotation to ourwomen and it's it's drowning out
(19:46):
all the positive empowermentand encouragement for women.
How do you feel about that,jeff?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Yeah, I definitely agree.
There was a little key term awhile back.
I don't know if it's stillbeing used today, but they say
it's toxic masculinity for, youknow, maybe just for the safety
(20:22):
or the surroundings of women,you know, just being careless
around women, not really takingtheir health or their, you know,
through all avenues, just themserious.
So we definitely got to uplift,support our women.
You know that has to be, youknow, target, like moving
(20:43):
forward.
We got to make sure that's apoint.
You know I always, you know, Italk to my son's mom and I
assure her that it's like.
You know, he's going to be theperfect gentleman.
He's going to make sure that hetreats women with respect.
You know he's going to makesure that he treats women with
respect.
He's going to make sure thatthere's no misogyny going on,
(21:10):
there's no making themuncomfortable in the workplace
and doing all that.
But at the same time, becausewe are also in a world where we
kind of on a little bit of atightrope with how much we can
say to women without themfeeling uncomfortable.
But you just got to teach themand learn, right.
(21:30):
I mean teach my son, raisinghim.
But we have to learn from ourwomen.
We have to listen to what theywant and expect from us, right?
We gotta stop shutting them outand and doing the the um, the
mansplaining and the toxicmasculinity or assuming that we
know all the time what they want, like we.
(21:51):
We just got to stop and listenand that's where the support is
going to come from right,because the best way to get your
information is from a primarysource.
So we go to them.
Ask the women in your life youknow, fellas, y'all listening
right now.
Ask the women in your life.
What can I do to support youmore, what can I do to make sure
(22:12):
that I'm making sure that youfeel heard and I'm uplifting you
, and they'll tell you.
I'm sure they probably listen.
Yeah, yeah, indeed, they willlet you know.
You know what it is they needand how you can help and provide
them with a better, you knowsafety net and well-being and
the relationships, friendships,all the above that's really good
(22:37):
.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
That's really good.
I think that something that wasmentioned or was very popular
in the last couple of decades issafe space.
Um, there's always going to be.
Um, an important aspect ofthings is creating a safe space,
because I've never you know theway they're talking to each
(23:02):
other.
You would think that they'veknown each other because they
(23:28):
were so comfortable to argue anddebate, and I'm just like man.
First of all, dude, why are yougoing back and forth with a
woman Like, first of all, that'syou breaking the you breaking,
breaking one of the commandminutes yeah, we know what that
is you know I'm saying so.
You already in violation ofc45-68, not man code.
(23:51):
You're breaking the man codeand it makes me, um, you know,
really wonder, like youmentioned, just what is the
relationship within yourhousehold.
How do you talk to your sisters?
How do you talk to yourdaughters?
How do you teach your daughters?
Are you teaching your daughters, are you learning from those
that are, you know, have yourbest well-being at heart, your
(24:16):
grandma, your mom?
And it just lets me know, uh,some of those internal
relationships you know are needsome improvement.
Let me just put it like that,because everybody's situation is
unique.
But, at the same time,respecting others is respecting
yourself.
Respecting other people is isactually respecting yourself.
(24:40):
So it shows that you arewilling to learn, willing to
listen.
You know ego and pride issomething else, especially men.
We already know how it is withwomen.
But men, as as leaders, asthose that you know are supposed
to be, you know the one to.
(25:01):
You know, help navigate thefamily and give the guidance you
know from God, and doing thatfor the family man.
You have to be approachable.
You, you know your significantother or the women around you.
They have to feel confident ingiving you information or
sharing information or evenexpressing themselves.
(25:24):
But if you typically, you know,have an attitude and you always
got too much, what did you say?
too much dip on your chip likethat's you all the time, like,
damn, maurice is always mad, mad, I can't say nothing to him.
I got to, you know, doubledutch, to talk to this brother,
(25:46):
you know, you got to say alittle bit and get about it, you
know.
And so, um, supporting ourwomen is is really creating that
safe space, because women canthrive in a safe space, jay,
they can thrive, you know, andthat can change the whole
trajectory of what's going on inthe household.
(26:07):
Because, again, sometimes, asbrothers, man, this world beats
us up.
You know, god is going to givethe energy and the wisdom to the
woman.
I mean, you think you're justgoing to be on your face and
then you're going to levitate abig hand they come from the
clouds is going to come and pickyou up.
No, it's going to come throughsomeone.
(26:28):
So if, if you can't even give asafe space to your mom, to your
sister, to your, your daughter,to your wife, your companion,
that that's where your help andsupport is gonna come from.
It ain't gonna be me.
I'm not coming to your house topick you up when you got a
whole woman over there, whywould you want me to?
That's think about it, man.
(26:51):
That is insane work crazy workcrazy work, man.
Even nasty work sometimes, rightNasty.
So, yeah, actually that's myguy, we're going to have to get
my guy, we're going to have toget him on the show.
He is hilarious.
Yeah, we're going to have toget him on the show.
(27:15):
But, you know, obviously we'regoing to continue to honor, give
flowers to our women, not onlythis month, but just be mindful
and more aware of just creatinga safe space and encouraging and
supporting our women, becauseit's tough out there for them as
well.
It's really tough.
I'm not, you know, we're noteven going to compare and
(27:37):
contrast the battle of men andwomen.
You know, uh, melanated men andwomen, it's a tough world out
there, you know.
So we have to stick together.
We have to be the first ones touh make sure that we compliment
and encourage and show love andthings like that.
(27:58):
So that's always going to playa big part on our community and
in the broad.
Jay.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
That's right.
I could not agree more.
Pop Could not agree more.
At the end of the day,appreciating women isn't just
about this one month, like yousaid.
It's about how we show up everyday, whether it's recognizing
(28:27):
their contributions, supportingthem or just listening with
respect.
But it starts with effort.
As us men, we got to have thatresponsibility to uplift and
protect and stand behind thewomen in our lives.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, yeah, I dig that, I dig that.
So let's do a part two, youknow, and just continue to kind
of show the importance ofwomen's appreciation month, the
importance of just recognizingwomen's appreciation month, the
importance of, uh, justrecognizing women's
contributions.
And you know personal storiesand things like that.
My grandma, my grandma, yourgreat grandma, um, is an icon,
(29:13):
um, in the state of Rhode Island.
Uh, she was the first womanwelder and so she was recognized
by the state of Rhode Island asa first, and I don't even know
how far back.
That's amazing, yeah, so she isamazing.
(29:34):
She did transition or pass at88 years old.
So, you know, lived an amazinglife and, you know, iconic.
So we have that legacy man inour DNA.
So we have to continue to dothat on the male side and the
(29:57):
woman side.
So, yeah, I mean, that was backin the 1930s when she was
honored man.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Good grief.
That's amazing History 100years man.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
That's almost 100 years man.
That's pretty incredible.
Again, we want to shout out tothe ladies, all the amazing
ladies throughout the worldYou're incredible, we love you,
we support you yes.
Not only the month of March,but but always.
(30:30):
So, speaking of always, wealways appreciate when you tune
in and lock in with us, Jay.
Give them the website and justlet them know, man, if they got
any questions and things likethat, man, how to get that
information to us.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yes, indeed, of course.
We appreciate you guys forchecking in.
If you need more information,go to popsandsunconversationscom
, your one-stop shop, to get allthe info right.
You can follow our social mediafrom there.
You can listen to the podcast.
From there, you can ask yourquestions.
(31:04):
Do it.
It's all there,popsinconversationscom, don't
forget it.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Indeed.
So we will see you, beautifulpeople, next episode.
If you missed the last episodeof the Last Couple, you have an
opportunity to just go back andlisten to them.
That's right.
The beauty of podcasts is youcan go back and listen to some
of the previous podcasts, takedown some notes, share it with
your friends and family and, asalways, we look forward to
(31:35):
rocking with you next week, nextepisode.
All right, it's your favoriteseal fox, rob mulloy and mr
check three times until we meetagain.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Peace we out.
Okay, friends and family, welcome to another
episode of Pops and SonConversations.
Of course, it is your favoriteSilver Fox, Rob Malloy.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And Son is here, Javin, aka Mr Check Three Times.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Hey, that's what I'm talking about, man.
Hey, shout out to Mr Checkthree times, man, you have been
crushing it.
You know, in that spoken word,poetry speaks bespoke.
All that stuff, amazing stuffgoing on because it's a really
(00:41):
strong message and people listen, man, I was surprised how
people were just shutting theirmouths and they was actually
listening.
And you know the who's and oursthrough, uh, through the whole,
the whole poem, man that's,that's pretty cool yeah, thanks,
pop.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You know, hey, I got some on my hands.
I'm about to uh go up with it.
Just wait, y'all, just wait.
I got something in store foryou, I promise oh man, so cool.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
So, look, we're, we're in, uh, the beautiful
month of march, which is women'smonth.
I mean, it's always women'smonth, it's always women's day.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Let's just oh yeah yeah, let's not just reduce it
to one month?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
right, we won't, but we will go the extra mile
because it is March and we doappreciate you, ladies.
Without you obviously nobodycares about nothing, because
that's where all the emotion andsensitivity and all the extra
concern and nurturing comesbecause of women.
(01:43):
You know, we're boring man, tobe honest with you, Without
women, dudes are boring.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Hey, that's a fact.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Right, just think about it.
You know, and of course,speaking for a man, because I am
one, I would rather hang outwith my fellas for a short
period of time.
But man, just knowing I'm goinghome or meet with my woman and
like I don't care how y'all feelabout me leaving man, I'm out.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
When it's time to go, it's timeto go.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
It's time to go.
And of course you, you know,sometimes you need that space
from your lady so you canappreciate each other right.
But I guarantee you, man, it'snothing like reconnecting with
your lady when it's time toreconnect, that's right.
You just have to have that.
You know, you just have to havethat space man.
(02:41):
That's a whole otherconversation.
You just have to have thatspace man.
That's a whole otherconversation.
But much love and respect toall the ladies.
We celebrate you every day, butespecially Women's Month, march
2025.
What direction do you want togo to man when it comes to just
talking about how women are soamazing, jay?
Speaker 2 (03:00):
Well, you know, I want to.
I think we could, you know,just kind of take a little time
to just talk about some women inour life that we appreciate.
You know what I mean.
Okay, bring that to theforefront.
Yeah, you know, as I sit andthink, man, you know women have,
just, they've been so impactfulin my life, in my family.
(03:22):
You know so many aunts, ofcoursets, of course, my mom,
grandma, great-grandma, god resther soul.
You know, just like you said,like the nurturing man, the
caring, the love.
It's nothing like that, thatlove from a woman, right, they
just make you feel so, so goodabout yourself, like you could
go and and just just jump over amountain to conquer the world
(03:45):
man exactly superman, put thatcape on your back man you know
facts on facts, man for
Speaker 1 (03:53):
real women.
Pouring into men is unmatched,um.
They have an amazing ability totake little bits and pieces of
energy and multiply it Right.
You just have to be reallyconsistent in pouring into your
(04:14):
woman, to.
You know your woman, or thewomen that are around you.
You know your daughter, yoursisters, you know those that you
care about.
All you have to do is justconstantly pour into them, you
know, um, and and they'llmultiply that energy that you,
you give them.
So that's what makes it amazing, you know, for us, man, you got
(04:36):
to pick us all the way up Likewe're flat on our face.
Yeah, and you, you, just youknow you got to go get the crane
, or the jaws of life as theysay, and you got to pick us all
the way up, and even still wejust kind of lingering and
hovering until we get ittogether, man.
Speaker 2 (04:53):
That's true, man Brother.
Be down in the dumps.
Man Down in the gutters, broDown in the gutters.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
But there's nothing like the encouraging words of a
woman.
You know, just for sincerity,just for honesty, man will, will
change your life.
Man, I gotta be honest with you.
I ain't trying to get too deep,but that's that's really what
it is.
That's why, you know, some ofthe most golden moments are with
your mother, because you knowthey care about you and they
(05:25):
want to make sure that you knowyou feel good, but at the same
time, man, they have to give youthat hardcore truth, because
nobody else is going to give itto you like that.
Oh, man, yeah, yeah, and so, uh, you know.
So shout out to my mom, doloresMalloy uh, we, you know, um, she
, she's so unique because she'salways been tough Like, you know
(05:52):
, really tough, Like moms istough.
You know the women are like thetougher ones because you don't
expect them you know what I'msaying to give you a right cross
.
You know, right across that jaw, like that, and you never knew
that there that so much power init.
But, nah, on a serious note,she's um, doesn't have to say a
(06:14):
whole lot.
She's very, um, meticulous withher words and she's very
intentional in the messages thatshe gives you.
Like, my mom has never likegiven me a long speech.
She's like going to get rightstraight to it, like, look, you
know.
First of all, you already knowLike this is your lesson.
(06:35):
You know, you picked yourselfup, you see what the issue is.
Now you have to make sure thatyou take this learning
experience and you apply it soyou don't do the same dumb
things over and over and over,because now it's on you.
You know, just something thatsimple, that kind of lingers
with you hours, days, months anddecades after.
(06:56):
You know what, man she made agood point because you find
yourself still doing certainthings and repositioning
yourself that you've knownbetter doing certain things and
repositioning yourself thatyou've known better, jay, that
you know better.
You see yourself in that sameposition and nobody needs to
tell you anything.
You just need to reflect backto what mom or that significant
woman in your life poured intoyou and told you.
(07:17):
You just have to take yourselfback to that place, man.
They don't have to tell youagain.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, man, m don't haveto tell you again, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, man, moms, they gotthat, you know, I guess you
could call it like a magic touchat some point, like they got
that Midas touch man, one of thethings about my mom, like that
I just know.
I got from her, just from, youknow, just from observing and
(07:44):
just seeing, you know how shewas.
She was always like super,super patient, you know what I
mean.
Like she was never like, youknow, knowing that she might be
(08:09):
facing some disappointment.
You know, and I ain't going tolie, I did get.
I got my behind whooped right,like listen, that is a fact.
Plenty of lashings, okay, okay,but you know, it was always
with love and you know how theysay it's hurting, it's going to
(08:29):
hurt me, then it's going to hurtyou.
I'm not so sure about how truethat statement is.
I don't think it has validity.
Okay, you're not gettingwhooped right now.
Yeah, hey, that says blackfolks.
But nah, you know, yeah, likemom's super patient man, you
know, and I got a lot, I think,of just my being able to observe
(08:54):
and just kind of witness justpeople.
You know what I'm saying.
My mom is really like super,super smart, super intelligent a
reader, saying my mom is really, uh, like super, super smart,
super intelligent a reader andshe's always, um, I don't know
what, what's the word like uh,empathetic, you know empathetic,
kind of able to to see, youknow what people not still able
(09:18):
to, to kind of peep from afar,like you gotta, like, you gotta
mind your business too, but youstill gotta see, like what, what
people you know what I'm sayinglike like what people got going
on man, so, um, yeah, man,shout out, shout out to mom, um,
so many lessons, so many, so somuch instilled and just um, so
(09:40):
much love, man, yeah, so muchlove.
Yeah, yeah, I dig that, so muchlove.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, yeah, I dig that.
Let's talk about when it comesto relationships, jay, what has
been the best advice that you'vegotten from a woman, whether it
was a best friend, whether itwas mom, whether it was grandma
what do you feel like was one ofthe most impactful things
(10:07):
lessons or the most impactfuladvice, I should say when it
came to relationships, whetherhow to heal, how to approach it,
any of those aspects?
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Yeah, the best lesson I definitely would say probably
.
For me the best lesson was justalways be yourself.
Be yourself.
Don't try to impress orshapeshift into something that
you're not, because you want awoman that is going to love and
(10:45):
like you for who you are.
So no flexing, no flogging.
You know Not the flog?
Hey, that's some slang, ain'tit?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
That's regional, that's regional.
But yeah, you know, just nofaking it, man.
Definitely, just be yourselfand always do your best.
You know, give it your best andif, at the end of the day, you
know you did your best, then hey, you got nothing to hold your
head over, so yeah, when itcomes to relationship, I just
(11:26):
always be myself.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
I think that's powerful.
I want to pivot a little bit.
I know, uh, you know we'regiving women their flowers.
I also have to give, uh.
Put women on notice, uh.
And you sparked it, though, jay.
You sparked it when you saidyou know, be yourself.
You know, a lot of times menact a certain way because they
(11:51):
want to impress a woman.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Oh, 100%.
You know what I?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
mean, I don't think that women really understand
that, like, when, when they talkabout representative, it's not
a representative.
They don't want to be who theyare, but they want to be someone
who you can appreciate becauseof what you have been describing
, what you've been talking about.
Like you know, ladies will havea whole conversation about what
(12:15):
she likes men to do and thenwonder why men are trying to do
what she said she likes men todo, right, you know, hey, yeah,
I'd like to.
You know, boat rides are reallynice and you know weekend trips
or spa days, and he's thinkingto say I don't do none of that.
(12:36):
He's thinking his head, I don'tknow when I horseback riding,
you know, like, they gohorseback riding every other
weekend or something.
Stop, right.
So just, you know, guys aregoing to do the things or
attempt and, as the lady say, aguy that pays attention right is
(12:57):
going to notice some of thethings that she mentioned, and
so he's going to try his best tofacilitate that, if you will
Right, if you will right and sogot as, uh, you said, jay, you
know, being yourself, there'ssome things that he may not even
(13:17):
be with he may.
Are you talking about?
Yeah, I like seafood.
I want to go and just have afresh grouper.
And you know, snapper and allthat and a guy like me.
I'm going to get sick.
I'm going to get ill if I takeyou to a restaurant and you're
eating ill Seriously, right, andyou know you talk.
(13:41):
Oh yeah, I want a grouper andall this.
I don't know why grouper keepscoming into mind, but a lot of
ladies be talking about you know.
Meanwhile, you know Good Well,you got tilapia and catfish in
your freezer.
Come on, stop playing with me.
You might have some fish sticksin there, man.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
No, seriously.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Straight up man, but you want snapper and grouper
okay.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
You want the salmon and the no grouper.
Nah, I ain't never had none ofthat.
I'm cool on that.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Yeah, I'm super cool on that.
But you know I said that to sayyou made a good point about
being yourself.
I think that if we really lookat it as face value, you know
there may be some things thatthat you may have to compromise,
because everything else youknow the vibe is good.
You're physically attracted,because everything else you know
(14:30):
the vibe is good.
You're physically attracted tothat person, you know.
You like their intellect, theirvernacular, you like everything
about them, their style, theirpresence.
But there may be some thingsit's like OK, you're not really
into that, or you may not beinto that, or maybe foreign to
you, or you may not be into thator may be foreign to you.
(14:53):
These are really theopportunities to see if you're
willing to adapt and compromise,because it's going to take some
give and take for relationshipsto work, even getting to know
part Like, let me tell yousomething that's crazy.
We'll get back to you I mean,we're talking about you ladies
but we'll get back to giving youthe fly.
Right now I just want to giveyou some game.
Can we give you game first?
Can we give you game alongsidethe fly?
(15:16):
Look, a lot of ladies are outhere with a list of demands.
The lods, I call them man,these ladies have a list of
demands.
Uh, 5, 11, 5'11 or better, allhis teeth.
No side teeth missing.
He has to have style, he has tobe able to change not even a
(15:42):
tire man change your flooring,your tiles or something like
that.
He needs to come with all thisstuff, right.
But what does he get in returnwhen he brings all that to the
table and more?
And of course, you have to berealistic.
(16:03):
He may not be able to do allthose things, but he can learn
to do those things.
But what is his incentive?
What is his incentive?
And thisoh, what is hisincentive?
And this is what I'm talkingabout.
I'm talking about the guy thatis a good catch.
You know your lady's talkingabout you're a good catch and
things like that.
I'm not talking about the bums.
The bums is not going to doanything anyway.
(16:24):
He don't care.
It's just a numbers game to him.
Either you holler at him or youdon't.
If you talk to him again, hedoesn't really care.
But when we're talking about anactual good match, like
brothers need incentives, man.
Yeah, incentives is important,yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Yeah, yeah, you got to have something to, because,
at the end of the day, if, like,it would go either way.
If I got all this, I'm bringingthis to the table, which I'm
meeting your demands right.
Supply and demand.
I got the supplies to meet thedemand.
Now we didn't came to the point.
And what's on the table for me?
(17:05):
Where's my plate?
Where am I going?
Come on, it can't be lopsided.
Listen, I'm a libra, soeverything is always gonna come
down to balance with me andreciprocation.
And if, if I don't feel thereciprocation, if I don't feel
the balance, I might, I mightbounce, and that's just being
(17:27):
honest.
That's just me.
I have a really hard time withyou know, knowing that I might
be providing this, that and athird pulling this way, or even
in conversation, like if wetalking, and I feel like I'm
pulling, like I'm pulling thelike.
I got the conversation on myback.
(17:48):
I'm carrying this all Like.
Why am I doing this?
There's no, no, I'm not doingthat man.
I'm carrying this all Like.
Why am I doing this?
There's no, no, I'm not doingthat man.
And I hate to go off on atangent right now.
I kind of went off on a tangentright there, but you sparked it
all.
Pops, I did, you sparked thatall.
But yeah, man, just for me it'sbalance.
So the reciprocation, and if Ihave what it takes and you
(18:13):
recognize that, then it's onlyright for you to, you know, to
reciprocate and meet my, meet myenergy and meet me where I am.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
yeah, I like that and that's fair.
Let's be honest, that's fair.
Uh, you, you want someone who'sgoing to put in some effort you
know, effort goes a long wayright?
Just somebody who is concerned,somebody who is putting that
effort using their energy theirresources and being patient and
(18:42):
understanding man.
that goes a long way versusbuying or just saying something
or just doing something in themoment to just get through that,
that effort and thatconsistency of just showing
someone that you truly careabout their feelings for one and
(19:02):
you are enjoying getting toknow them and who they are to
the core.
So let me add this, because Ithink that this is important and
this may take us all the wayout of of of this particular
episode, but I want to talkabout, um, how us men can
support and uplift women more,because I will take
(19:24):
responsibility as acknowledgingnot that I'm part of that
community, but I willacknowledge that there is way
too many men that are aredegrading, that are talking
about our women, that are, youknow, just bringing out a lot of
negative connotation to ourwomen and it's it's drowning out
(19:46):
all the positive empowermentand encouragement for women.
How do you feel about that,jeff?
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Yeah, I definitely agree.
There was a little key term awhile back.
I don't know if it's stillbeing used today, but they say
it's toxic masculinity for, youknow, maybe just for the safety
(20:22):
or the surroundings of women,you know, just being careless
around women, not really takingtheir health or their, you know,
through all avenues, just themserious.
So we definitely got to uplift,support our women.
You know that has to be, youknow, target, like moving
(20:43):
forward.
We got to make sure that's apoint.
You know I always, you know, Italk to my son's mom and I
assure her that it's like.
You know, he's going to be theperfect gentleman.
He's going to make sure that hetreats women with respect.
You know he's going to makesure that he treats women with
respect.
He's going to make sure thatthere's no misogyny going on,
(21:10):
there's no making themuncomfortable in the workplace
and doing all that.
But at the same time, becausewe are also in a world where we
kind of on a little bit of atightrope with how much we can
say to women without themfeeling uncomfortable.
But you just got to teach themand learn, right.
(21:30):
I mean teach my son, raisinghim.
But we have to learn from ourwomen.
We have to listen to what theywant and expect from us, right?
We gotta stop shutting them outand and doing the the um, the
mansplaining and the toxicmasculinity or assuming that we
know all the time what they want, like we.
(21:51):
We just got to stop and listenand that's where the support is
going to come from right,because the best way to get your
information is from a primarysource.
So we go to them.
Ask the women in your life youknow, fellas, y'all listening
right now.
Ask the women in your life.
What can I do to support youmore, what can I do to make sure
(22:12):
that I'm making sure that youfeel heard and I'm uplifting you
, and they'll tell you.
I'm sure they probably listen.
Yeah, yeah, indeed, they willlet you know.
You know what it is they needand how you can help and provide
them with a better, you knowsafety net and well-being and
the relationships, friendships,all the above that's really good
(22:37):
.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
That's really good.
I think that something that wasmentioned or was very popular
in the last couple of decades issafe space.
Um, there's always going to be.
Um, an important aspect ofthings is creating a safe space,
because I've never you know theway they're talking to each
(23:02):
other.
You would think that they'veknown each other because they
(23:28):
were so comfortable to argue anddebate, and I'm just like man.
First of all, dude, why are yougoing back and forth with a
woman Like, first of all, that'syou breaking the you breaking,
breaking one of the commandminutes yeah, we know what that
is you know I'm saying so.
You already in violation ofc45-68, not man code.
(23:51):
You're breaking the man codeand it makes me, um, you know,
really wonder, like youmentioned, just what is the
relationship within yourhousehold.
How do you talk to your sisters?
How do you talk to yourdaughters?
How do you teach your daughters?
Are you teaching your daughters, are you learning from those
that are, you know, have yourbest well-being at heart, your
(24:16):
grandma, your mom?
And it just lets me know, uh,some of those internal
relationships you know are needsome improvement.
Let me just put it like that,because everybody's situation is
unique.
But, at the same time,respecting others is respecting
yourself.
Respecting other people is isactually respecting yourself.
(24:40):
So it shows that you arewilling to learn, willing to
listen.
You know ego and pride issomething else, especially men.
We already know how it is withwomen.
But men, as as leaders, asthose that you know are supposed
to be, you know the one to.
(25:01):
You know, help navigate thefamily and give the guidance you
know from God, and doing thatfor the family man.
You have to be approachable.
You, you know your significantother or the women around you.
They have to feel confident ingiving you information or
sharing information or evenexpressing themselves.
(25:24):
But if you typically, you know,have an attitude and you always
got too much, what did you say?
too much dip on your chip likethat's you all the time, like,
damn, maurice is always mad, mad, I can't say nothing to him.
I got to, you know, doubledutch, to talk to this brother,
(25:46):
you know, you got to say alittle bit and get about it, you
know.
And so, um, supporting ourwomen is is really creating that
safe space, because women canthrive in a safe space, jay,
they can thrive, you know, andthat can change the whole
trajectory of what's going on inthe household.
(26:07):
Because, again, sometimes, asbrothers, man, this world beats
us up.
You know, god is going to givethe energy and the wisdom to the
woman.
I mean, you think you're justgoing to be on your face and
then you're going to levitate abig hand they come from the
clouds is going to come and pickyou up.
No, it's going to come throughsomeone.
(26:28):
So if, if you can't even give asafe space to your mom, to your
sister, to your, your daughter,to your wife, your companion,
that that's where your help andsupport is gonna come from.
It ain't gonna be me.
I'm not coming to your house topick you up when you got a
whole woman over there, whywould you want me to?
That's think about it, man.
(26:51):
That is insane work crazy workcrazy work, man.
Even nasty work sometimes, rightNasty.
So, yeah, actually that's myguy, we're going to have to get
my guy, we're going to have toget him on the show.
He is hilarious.
Yeah, we're going to have toget him on the show.
(27:15):
But, you know, obviously we'regoing to continue to honor, give
flowers to our women, not onlythis month, but just be mindful
and more aware of just creatinga safe space and encouraging and
supporting our women, becauseit's tough out there for them as
well.
It's really tough.
I'm not, you know, we're noteven going to compare and
(27:37):
contrast the battle of men andwomen.
You know, uh, melanated men andwomen, it's a tough world out
there, you know.
So we have to stick together.
We have to be the first ones touh make sure that we compliment
and encourage and show love andthings like that.
(27:58):
So that's always going to playa big part on our community and
in the broad.
Jay.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
That's right.
I could not agree more.
Pop Could not agree more.
At the end of the day,appreciating women isn't just
about this one month, like yousaid.
It's about how we show up everyday, whether it's recognizing
(28:27):
their contributions, supportingthem or just listening with
respect.
But it starts with effort.
As us men, we got to have thatresponsibility to uplift and
protect and stand behind thewomen in our lives.
Speaker 1 (28:46):
Yeah, yeah, I dig that, I dig that.
So let's do a part two, youknow, and just continue to kind
of show the importance ofwomen's appreciation month, the
importance of just recognizingwomen's appreciation month, the
importance of, uh, justrecognizing women's
contributions.
And you know personal storiesand things like that.
My grandma, my grandma, yourgreat grandma, um, is an icon,
(29:13):
um, in the state of Rhode Island.
Uh, she was the first womanwelder and so she was recognized
by the state of Rhode Island asa first, and I don't even know
how far back.
That's amazing, yeah, so she isamazing.
(29:34):
She did transition or pass at88 years old.
So, you know, lived an amazinglife and, you know, iconic.
So we have that legacy man inour DNA.
So we have to continue to dothat on the male side and the
(29:57):
woman side.
So, yeah, I mean, that was backin the 1930s when she was
honored man.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
Good grief.
That's amazing History 100years man.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
That's almost 100 years man.
That's pretty incredible.
Again, we want to shout out tothe ladies, all the amazing
ladies throughout the worldYou're incredible, we love you,
we support you yes.
Not only the month of March,but but always.
(30:30):
So, speaking of always, wealways appreciate when you tune
in and lock in with us, Jay.
Give them the website and justlet them know, man, if they got
any questions and things likethat, man, how to get that
information to us.
Speaker 2 (30:43):
Yes, indeed, of course.
We appreciate you guys forchecking in.
If you need more information,go to popsandsunconversationscom
, your one-stop shop, to get allthe info right.
You can follow our social mediafrom there.
You can listen to the podcast.
From there, you can ask yourquestions.
(31:04):
Do it.
It's all there,popsinconversationscom, don't
forget it.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Indeed.
So we will see you, beautifulpeople, next episode.
If you missed the last episodeof the Last Couple, you have an
opportunity to just go back andlisten to them.
That's right.
The beauty of podcasts is youcan go back and listen to some
of the previous podcasts, takedown some notes, share it with
your friends and family and, asalways, we look forward to
(31:35):
rocking with you next week, nextepisode.
All right, it's your favoriteseal fox, rob mulloy and mr
check three times until we meetagain.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Peace we out.
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