December 4, 2025 • 31 mins
The holidays can feel like a high-wire act: keep the magic alive for the kids, honor family traditions, and somehow protect January from December’s receipts. We open our hearts about the pressure fathers carry this time of year and share the practical ways we stay grounded—so joy wins and debt doesn’t.
We talk about the early hit of Black Friday, the second budget that sneaks in for Christmas, and how easy it is to blur wants and needs when the cart is full and the lights are bright. From decor dreams to gift lists, one of us plays the level-headed role: set a ceiling, define the priorities, and spend with the future in mind. That doesn’t mean skipping the sparkle. It means choosing the kind of sparkle kids remember—time, rituals, and shared laughter—over the pile that fades in a week.
We also dive into a different kind of gift: financial literacy. Gifting stock or a simple index fund alongside a favorite toy reframes what generosity can be. Kids learn that money can grow, that ownership matters, and that a gift’s value isn’t only its price tag but the lessons it carries. And yes, we address the social media effect—designer pajamas, label flashing, and performative trees—and why keeping some moments private protects the meaning we’re trying to build.
If you’re navigating partner expectations, schoolyard comparisons, or your own urge to overdo it, this conversation offers perspective, humor, and a toolkit for a calmer season. Join us as we choose presence over pressure, memories over mountains of boxes, and a plan that still feels warm and human. If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a parent who needs it, and leave a quick review to help others find the conversation.
Please follow Pops and Son Conversations on the website, popsandsonconversations.com, and social media @popsandsonconversations
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (03:35):
And welcome to another episode of Pops and Sun
Conversations.
Yes, it is your favorite silverfox, Rob Malloyd.
SPEAKER_00 (03:44):
And yes, it's your favorite poet.
You already know it, Mr.
Ched, three times.
SPEAKER_01 (03:50):
Bam.
Hey, we made it to a new month.
Welcome, December.
How you feeling, Jay?
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
I feel good, Pops.
How you feeling?
SPEAKER_01 (04:00):
I'm feeling good.
You know, um, it's a new month.
It's the last month of 2025.
Man, how time has been flying.
SPEAKER_00 (04:08):
Right.
Sheesh.
SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
Sheesh.
So uh, you know, we're back.
Hey, we want to thank you guysfor an amazing year.
It has been nothing less thanspectacular.
So much support.
We appreciate the love.
You know, we're just thankfulfor, you know, the encouragement
because this isn't this isn'teasy.
And I'm not talking about thepodcast business.
Um, I'm not even talking aboutbuilding a brand.
(04:31):
I'm just talking about theconsistency and uh the bandwidth
and wherewithal to show up everysingle day, man.
It takes a lot of encouragementand support, Jake.
SPEAKER_00 (04:42):
Yeah, that's a fact.
It's days you don't want to,it's days where you rather, you
know, sit back, chill, relax,take a mental day, and all these
different things.
But I will say that, you know,the support that we get when
we're out and about at thesedifferent events or just, you
know, just around the spotlocally has been a great
(05:03):
motivation.
You know what I mean?
People like to hear, you know,our perspective on things.
They like the the father-sondynamic that we have and they
and they want to see it.
They know that um it's importantrepresentation.
So um that definitely means alot.
SPEAKER_01 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah.
Tremendous support.
Uh, we have a lot of uhgratitude and thankfulness and
gratefulness.
So thank you guys.
We appreciate it, and thatmotivates us to keep going.
You know, when we think about uhthe different father and son
dynamics out there, whetherthey're curating an existing
relationship or they may belooking to rekindle a
(05:43):
relationship or you know,rebuild what you already have,
what's existing.
Uh all of that uh we take intoaccount and it motivates us and
inspires us to continue to dowhat we're doing.
That being said, December'shere.
There's some things that we haveto talk about.
And um uh as we go into theholiday, now Thanksgiving family
(06:07):
day was amazing.
Enjoyed the family, ate good.
I consistently had the itis.
Like, man, you just gotta becareful out there when you're
eating, man.
Some folks just eating to beeating because it's there.
SPEAKER_00 (06:20):
Oh yeah.
Like I said, man, you got hey,Thanksgiving, that's the the
time where you guard yourself.
You're gonna be the probably thebiggest.
You're gonna have a food baby.
SPEAKER_01 (06:33):
The biggest.
Hey, man.
Oh man, listen, um, an amazingtime.
But you know, it also carriesover because I think the Family
Day Thanksgiving, you know,kicks off the the holiday uh as
we navigate a little bit closeruh throughout December as we get
to Christmas and and Kwanzaa anddifferent things like that as we
(06:58):
uh navigate that.
So that's what we're gonna talkabout, uh kicking off,
officially kind of kicking offthe holiday season and what that
looks like from a father'sperspective, as a son's
perspective.
Uh I think that's important totalk about.
So uh Jay, let's go ahead and dothis, but let's just kind of
jump in.
And I want to ask you somethinguh right away.
(07:20):
Like as uh as we get closer toyou know the main holiday, uh
Christmas, uh for a lot offolks, like what what do you
feel like is the responsibility,you being a father, what is the
responsibility or the pressures,if you will, of uh as we get a
little closer?
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
Um I would say, oh man.
I would say the main the mainpressure that I'm I'm feeling as
we get closer is just makingsure that, you know, it's it's a
special moment, you know, makingsure that it's it's um, you
know, time to be remembered.
Because, you know, when we thinkabout our childhood and and
(08:03):
around these times during theholidays, um there's a there's
like a particular magic, youknow, that that you may have I
know everybody didn't grow upthe same, but you may have
experienced around Christmastime, you know, with with Santa
Claus and the gifts and thereindeer and all these different
tropes and things that we um,you know, that we kind of come
(08:24):
up under.
And, you know, my my thoughtsand opinion on on it has evolved
over time.
Yeah, you know, especiallygrowing up and just kind of
looking back, but um it's stillit's still something I want to
provide for my son.
At least him, you know, justhaving a good a good memory of
(08:47):
these times around theseholidays because there's just so
much that that influences it,right?
Yeah.
Um, you know, so uh as a dad, ashe gets older, I also want to
instill in him as as he's ableto understand, he's so young
right now that he it's it's justlights and and snow and Santa
and all and gifts and stuffright now.
(09:10):
Um but as as he gets older, it'sum, you know, I also feel the
pressure of, you know, kind ofhaving to explain to him like,
you know, son, this what whatthis the meaning behind this
holiday, you know, what what itwhat it really is about um from
uh unfortunately from you knowthe the capitalist standpoint um
and just how these differentholidays are manufactured to get
(09:32):
and you know I know I'm kind ofgoing off on a tangent, but
these these are the pressuresthat I think of, you know, as
I'm you know, as I'm raisinghim.
But for right now, it's justmainly making sure that, you
know, he got some good gifts andhe's you know he's happy at the
at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
Yeah, that's that's uh some important parts.
And I can I can kind of rememberaround that time, you know, when
the kids are a little bityounger.
And it's a it's a sense ofresponsibility, right?
When you think about it, theperson that I would say has a
lot of of leeway, or at leastwants to have a lot of leeway
(10:09):
and opportunity to create istypically gonna be, you know,
the mother.
Um, typically gonna be a ladyand whatnot.
Um, I don't know too many guysthat is all about, hey, let's
put some lights up.
Uh let's, you know, have aspecific kind of tree.
Let's do an eight-foot tree thisyear, right?
And and and make sure that ithas, you know, snow, the
(10:31):
icicles, four or five differentrows of lights.
I don't care about none of that.
You know, uh, I don't know toomany men that that get into
that.
So I would say that the ladies,you know, definitely have the
decor.
Um, but at the same time, it hasto be funded.
SPEAKER_00 (10:50):
That's funny, see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01 (10:51):
It has to be funded.
So, so as men, and I'm notsaying that the ladies can't
afford it, because they can,right?
They can.
But the overall responsibility,like like one guy is gonna be
like, all right, baby, go aheadand spend a thousand dollars of
your own money, and then I'mgonna work on some other things,
right?
It typically doesn't work likethat, you know.
(11:12):
So she comes up with all theseideas, she comes up with these
things that that, you know, theexperience, if you will, that
she wants to create.
And then we basicallyco-signers, man.
SPEAKER_00 (11:22):
Yeah, yeah, you'll you'll begin some some Amazon
screenshots of shopping cartsand and the stuff that that's
that's decor and things likethat.
SPEAKER_01 (11:33):
Yeah, so I think that the the pressure um is more
so is making overseeing andmaking sure that a lot of
certain things that that arebrought to your attention
happens.
And you know, as I've gottenolder, you know, I've I've
looked at, you know, umChristmas uh around that time is
(11:56):
the most expensive time frame.
So we're talking about the monthof December because you have to
(13:29):
think about things kick offBlack Friday.
All right, so so your money isalready moving before December
gets here, right?
And so the Black Friday is acombination or a culmination, if
you will, I'm pulling out thethe Websters, of when uh money
money gets spent.
Right?
So we're talking about all kindsof stuff happening around Black
(13:53):
Friday that does not necessarilyhave to do with anything for
Christmas, Jay.
We're talking about TVs, we'retalking about furniture, uh,
we're talking about you know,wardrobe.
Now none of this, like this is adifferent budget than Christmas,
Jake.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, right.
Right?
So you need the Black Fridaymonies, and then as December
(14:16):
kicks in, it's almost like thisain't got nothing to do with
what you just spent for BlackFriday.
We need a new budget, sir.
Right, and so as we get intothat, um man, it it's it can be
uh a financial challenge.
And I'm not saying like you'respending money that you don't
have, but you know, credit carddoes go up 70% right in in
(14:41):
December, the the usage, if youwill.
But when you start thinkingabout things that are bought, is
it necessary?
We are getting the especiallyfor the people that we're
getting them for.
Like, look, I don't I don't havea wife right now, right?
(15:03):
But if I did have a wife and shegot to talking about how she
wanna everybody that she knowsneeds a gift, she may not be my
wife next year.
I'm just kidding.
Like I'm just saying we're gonnahave to have a conversation,
right?
Because you got the guy kid.
Now hold up, hold up, baby.
(15:24):
Your guy's son 35 years old.
I I think he I think he's goodon on uh on an Apple Watch.
I don't think that we need toget him a thousand dollar apple
watch at 35 years old.
He should be in his career bynow, right?
Right?
So I just think, man, thegenerosity can can be uh uh just
a little bit too much when weget into December.
(15:47):
And so again, my expectation isto be the level-headed
individual as we approach theholidays.
How about that, y'all?
Y'all like that?
Uh-uh.
Don't be hitting the button.
No, there ain't no otherepisode.
You gotta stick with this one.
Ain't nothing happens.
SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
They try to click next, next episode.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
All right, just like the barbecue, right?
This is it.
So uh the expectation um for uhfor a father again is to be the
the one that is gonna thinklogical uh during the season, uh
the one that's going to think uhresponsibly and the one that's
(16:30):
really just gonna have to takecharge.
Now, I know that there's this,you know, we create the vibe
because we don't want to becalled a Grinch.
I I get that.
But at the same time, we don'twant to be, you know,
overspending foods as well.
So that's something that we haveto take uh in consideration.
I don't think that women reallyhave to process that part.
SPEAKER_00 (16:55):
No, no, I don't think so.
You know, I I think like this,like I could be a Grinch now or
I could be a Grinch laterbecause we done spent too much.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you're gonna have to pickyour poison on on what we gotta
do.
So I think that is a big part ofit, Pop.
Just um being level-headed, youknow, making sure that the
expenses and and and and youknow, honestly what it is,
(17:18):
women, we love you, but y'allare sopaholics, man.
Y'all don't know how to, like,y'all, y'all will spend and
y'all will buy things that arecompletely unnecessary.
Yeah, you you know you do it.
You got stuff in your houseright now that you don't even
use, but you bought it becauseyou wanted it and and now it's
just sitting there.
So yeah, you need that littlevoice on your shoulder that's
(17:41):
saying, nah, don't buy that.
You don't need that one.
Put that back.
So I think that um, especiallyduring the holidays when there's
so many different sales andthings going on, and folks just
trying to get you to buy stuffjust because it's 50 and 80%
off, just to have it.
No.
No.
We we we we gotta we gotta havea voice of of reason during that
(18:04):
point.
And, you know, during theholidays, you know, gift giving
is is is is great, you know,it's awesome, but really I think
it's it's it's more about um,you know, just kind of not I I
was I definitely would sayfamily time for sure, but it it
always comes back to, you know,really understanding, like every
(18:29):
every these these holidays, man,I don't want I don't want to get
too political.
I don't want to get toopolitical, but um I just use
them as as reminders, you knowwhat I'm saying, of like how
important the family is becauseeverybody doesn't have the
luxury to to go out and stopuntil they drop or go and do the
(18:49):
black, the Black Friday thing.
So it's really people out therethat's not even really concerned
about, you know, the financialuh side of it.
Um and they're just kind ofusing, you know, what they have
and being thankful for that.
And the gifts, you know, theymay, you know, create create
gifts out of just you know, justmoments and memories, you know,
(19:10):
and that's just as important,right, than going out and
spending a thousand bucks on ona on a bunch of different gifts.
I think that we have to kind ofremember um the root of it all
and and what that really is, andthat's the moments and memories
that we make it during thesetimes.
SPEAKER_01 (19:26):
Sure, sure.
Um, that's extremely importantand in value because you also
have to think about theprecedence that you're setting,
right?
Uh so when we start talkingabout uh, and I'm not really,
you spend what you want tospend, okay?
So we're not here to to befinancial planners or even your
budget, but I think just to putsome reminders out there of a
(19:50):
lot of times we do spend moneyon frivolous things, right?
You you uh have opportunities tobuy stock, right?
Think about that.
Instead of buying a thousanddollars or five hundred dollars
in Nike, how about gift yourchild five hundred and night
(20:11):
stock?
Like, what do you think aboutyou know something like that?
I think that that would showvalue, and then it it'll also
set a principle of how to spendmoney wisely and how to make
your money make money.
SPEAKER_00 (20:26):
Yeah, so that's a great lesson.
SPEAKER_01 (20:28):
Yes, yeah.
So I think that we have to getinto that.
I know that I haven't beenpreviously, because you know, a
lot of people look at the valueof the gift versus the value in
the gift.
And I think that if we can justkind of have that mindset, um,
that that would help.
You know, it it would help,especially when it comes to what
(20:50):
what kids value and what theylook at, you know.
Um, because I I don't know toomany kids out here talking about
mommy and dad, me, mommy and dadhad bought me a thousand dollars
in um in Amazon versus theAmazon boxes was to the ceiling
when I opened the door.
So I think that that's prettypowerful.
(21:11):
We can start using it as anopportunity of some financial
literacy, Jack.
SPEAKER_00 (21:16):
Facts.
You know, that really opens uhthe door to uh a much, a much
wider conversation just about,you know, materialism and and
like you said, how we spend onthings that, you know, how many
Christmas gifts do you have thatyou've gotten over the years
that you still utilize today orthat you still, you know what
I'm saying?
Like it eventually, you know,these gifts and things like that
(21:40):
will um, you know, come to anend of their use or they'll get
older, or you know, whatever thecase is.
Maybe you do have some thingsthat, you know, you still have,
but I think most gifts that thatwe receive um, you know, it are
are finite or or they come to ato the limit of usage.
But like you said, investing insomething like um some type of
(22:04):
stock that, you know what I'msaying, that maybe you are
going, like you said, you'regonna go buy some Nike or going
to go buy some, look into thatstock because um as it
appreciates over time, you notonly are, you know, giving them
an uh a valuable asset, butyou're also teaching, right?
You're teaching and kind ofreframing the narrative around
(22:28):
what a gift is, what a giftmeans, because I mean, let's
think about it.
You know, that's kind of likeone of those gifts that keeps on
giving, so to speak.
You know, you stocks, you gotdividends, you you know, you
continue to buy um and you seethat price rise over time.
Like that's really one of thebest gifts that you can get.
You know what I'm saying?
It's gonna beat out the AppleWatch or or you know, the pair
(22:52):
of shoes or whatever the caseis.
And I'm not telling nobody notto buy gifts, but maybe we can
incorporate um a part of thebudget into, you know, let's
diversify it a little bit.
Let's diversify the gifts.
I think that that's a good agood concept, Pops.
SPEAKER_01 (23:08):
Yeah, I agree with you 1,000%.
Um, you know, let's let's kindof drag social media into this
thing because they typicallyamplify, you know, the
comparison.
You know, you you uh you pull upyour uh Instagram or TikTok or
something like that, and you seeall these extravagant trees and
the light show in the front yardand the estates of uh of just
(23:33):
all of these things going on,and and then under the tree, you
got 2,000 presents in there,right?
And you know, certain presentsaren't gonna be wrapped, right?
The the designer gifts, thosethose don't you gotta see that.
SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
Oh, yeah, you gotta see that label.
SPEAKER_01 (23:46):
You gotta see the label on the screen.
And then, you know, you got thematch of pajamas, and you know,
the the pajamas are designer.
And so the thing is, like, ifyou really just if that's just
what you got going on, then thenwhy does it have to be on
display?
I would think that some momentswill be intimate moments, right?
(24:07):
So there's certain things, I inmy personal opinion, y'all,
certain things don't even needto make it to social media,
right?
It just needs to be our privateexperience as our family member,
as our family members, and justkind of cherish these moments,
man.
Not everything needs to be outthere, but we're talking about
social media, right?
(24:27):
So that'll never happen.
People are gonna do the mostmany times.
So uh that's kind of how thatgoes.
But you know, but as a father,again, you know, we still have
some responsibilities.
Like, for instance, you know, wewe have to be the voice of
reason when it comes to, youknow, shielding the the family's
(24:49):
financial stress.
Like it's almost like, okay,babe, if you have a significant
other, whatnot.
Like we we still have to live in2026, right?
We we still got some other goalsthat have nothing to do with
spending money during theholidays that we need to take in
(25:09):
consideration.
So I think that that's somethingthat uh we also have to do.
And Jay, just let me let me uhgive you this here as we as we
wrap this thing up now.
Um as a father of uh of ayoungin', do you feel like as a
as a father that there's sometype of fear of disappointing
the kids, you know, or thepartner if if the holiday isn't
(25:33):
big enough, if if there'scertain gifts that aren't
giving, if if there is not thethe uh certain aesthetic of the
holiday season, is is there afear of that or is there uh a
major uh you know thoughtprocess or mindset of that
happening?
SPEAKER_00 (25:51):
Well, for me, I have to say, I have to say no.
I think that not so much as afear.
Um my son is five, and you know,he's had some he has some some
good holidays.
You know, I I can say that he'shad some good holidays, you
know.
He's he isn't at that age yet towhere he understands to ask for
(26:13):
certain things or right, youknow what I'm saying, son, or
this is what I want.
I haven't started getting thosethose questions yet.
So we'll I will that'll be we'llI'll check back in on the
pressures and you know what I'msaying.
SPEAKER_01 (26:25):
Yeah, because he's in school now.
SPEAKER_00 (26:26):
Right, right, right.
So yeah, right.
So that compares to yeah, so um,but so far, you know, it's it's
been good.
He's been, you know, gratefuland and and you know, he's he's
had some good holidays.
So yeah, so it's it's been good.
But I do think that, you know,like I said before, I do want to
make it a point, you know, kindof that he understands what
(26:50):
these holidays are and just kindof explain it to him.
Um, you know, that gifts aregood, gifts are great, but you
know, at the end of the day, um,you know, it's really just more
about presence, you know, beingpresent and being around family
and and and spending that timeand making moments, you know,
(27:11):
because I do think about youknow my childhood and and and
maybe sometimes I was ungratefulum for some things and that
wasn't right, you know, but Ididn't I didn't understand it.
You know, nobody reallyexplained to me, you know what
I'm saying, like all right,yeah, this is the holidays or
whatever the case is, but it itain't all about gifts.
(27:31):
Um I think that's the main thingis just just to know, like, hey
man, it's not all about what youdon't get, you know, around this
time.
Um, you know, just just be happyfor what you have.
I think that's that's a goodreminder of being thankful and
grateful for your health, yourlife, your family.
You know, you got a roof overyour head, and and this kind of
(27:52):
sounds cliche, but it's so easyfor us to stray, especially
during the holidays, is justthink about what we want, what
we gotta get, and you know whatI mean.
So um, yeah, but I say we'llcheck in down the line.
You know, I'll let you know howhow that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_01 (28:06):
We perhaps check in down the line because when he
does get back to school, thankGod for the for the holiday
season, right?
Um for the kids, but there'sgonna be, you know, some
stories.
My daddy got me a motorcycle formy mommy bought me an iPhone 25.
Like, man, right.
(28:27):
Who is she?
Right?
So uh, yeah, so those storiesare coming.
Um, but you know, I definitelycommend you.
And I'm so proud of you of theprinciples that you installed in
my grandson.
And he does understand and kindof appreciate uh that things are
gifts and everything is justautomatically afforded to you.
You're not entitled to anything.
(28:50):
And so, you know, that's a greatjob on that.
So, look, uh, I think we mayhave to kind of extend this.
You know, all month long we'regonna be talking about, you
know, what goes on in this monthof the holiday season of
December.
And, you know, we'll we'llnavigate from what we did today
to, you know, dating during theholidays and what those
expectations look like.
(29:11):
Um, really quick reminder thoseof you in the Atlanta area,
December the 6th, which is thisSaturday, um, I will be your
official Santa for the city ofStonecrest.
So big shout out to the city ofStonecrest.
If you guys know anything aboutthe city of Stonecrest, on uh uh
(29:32):
D the first weekend of December,um I've been the official Santa
for the last, I think this isgoing on four years now.
And so I'll be there, freeevent.
Uh just pull up, look on all thesocial media, uh, and we'll make
sure that it's that it's upthere.
But the city of Stonecrest, um,we will uh be in the building.
Uh Jay, are you you gonna beSanta's helper, man?
(29:53):
You dressed up as an elf thisyear?
SPEAKER_00 (29:55):
Oh, Pops, don't do it to me.
SPEAKER_01 (29:58):
Gotta be a Santa's helper, man.
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
Oh man.
Hey, man.
Hey, I'm down for the cause,man.
I I get one of them uh elf elfelf costumes, man.
SPEAKER_01 (30:08):
Yeah, it is, man.
At least just the hat, man.
We ain't gonna require the earsthis year, man.
But drop the hat off on yourselfand uh let's get it.
So look, guys, we appreciate youuh once again, another episode
of Pops and Sun Conversations.
Uh, remember, we're streaming onall platforms where you can
listen to a podcast, right?
So just uh make sure you canalso go to our website, w dot
(30:31):
popsandson conversations with anS dot com, and you can find out
about our events, uh how to bookus, and uh everything that we
have coming, as well as what youguys want to see from us.
So signing out once again.
It's your favorite Silver FoxRobin Lloyd.
SPEAKER_00 (30:49):
Mr.
Check three times, baby.
SPEAKER_01 (30:51):
All right, happy holidays.
We'll see you next episode.
Yep.
And welcome to another episode of Pops and Sun
Conversations.
Yes, it is your favorite silverfox, Rob Malloyd.
SPEAKER_00 (03:44):
And yes, it's your favorite poet.
You already know it, Mr.
Ched, three times.
SPEAKER_01 (03:50):
Bam.
Hey, we made it to a new month.
Welcome, December.
How you feeling, Jay?
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
I feel good, Pops.
How you feeling?
SPEAKER_01 (04:00):
I'm feeling good.
You know, um, it's a new month.
It's the last month of 2025.
Man, how time has been flying.
SPEAKER_00 (04:08):
Right.
Sheesh.
SPEAKER_01 (04:10):
Sheesh.
So uh, you know, we're back.
Hey, we want to thank you guysfor an amazing year.
It has been nothing less thanspectacular.
So much support.
We appreciate the love.
You know, we're just thankfulfor, you know, the encouragement
because this isn't this isn'teasy.
And I'm not talking about thepodcast business.
Um, I'm not even talking aboutbuilding a brand.
(04:31):
I'm just talking about theconsistency and uh the bandwidth
and wherewithal to show up everysingle day, man.
It takes a lot of encouragementand support, Jake.
SPEAKER_00 (04:42):
Yeah, that's a fact.
It's days you don't want to,it's days where you rather, you
know, sit back, chill, relax,take a mental day, and all these
different things.
But I will say that, you know,the support that we get when
we're out and about at thesedifferent events or just, you
know, just around the spotlocally has been a great
(05:03):
motivation.
You know what I mean?
People like to hear, you know,our perspective on things.
They like the the father-sondynamic that we have and they
and they want to see it.
They know that um it's importantrepresentation.
So um that definitely means alot.
SPEAKER_01 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah.
Tremendous support.
Uh, we have a lot of uhgratitude and thankfulness and
gratefulness.
So thank you guys.
We appreciate it, and thatmotivates us to keep going.
You know, when we think about uhthe different father and son
dynamics out there, whetherthey're curating an existing
relationship or they may belooking to rekindle a
(05:43):
relationship or you know,rebuild what you already have,
what's existing.
Uh all of that uh we take intoaccount and it motivates us and
inspires us to continue to dowhat we're doing.
That being said, December'shere.
There's some things that we haveto talk about.
And um uh as we go into theholiday, now Thanksgiving family
(06:07):
day was amazing.
Enjoyed the family, ate good.
I consistently had the itis.
Like, man, you just gotta becareful out there when you're
eating, man.
Some folks just eating to beeating because it's there.
SPEAKER_00 (06:20):
Oh yeah.
Like I said, man, you got hey,Thanksgiving, that's the the
time where you guard yourself.
You're gonna be the probably thebiggest.
You're gonna have a food baby.
SPEAKER_01 (06:33):
The biggest.
Hey, man.
Oh man, listen, um, an amazingtime.
But you know, it also carriesover because I think the Family
Day Thanksgiving, you know,kicks off the the holiday uh as
we navigate a little bit closeruh throughout December as we get
to Christmas and and Kwanzaa anddifferent things like that as we
(06:58):
uh navigate that.
So that's what we're gonna talkabout, uh kicking off,
officially kind of kicking offthe holiday season and what that
looks like from a father'sperspective, as a son's
perspective.
Uh I think that's important totalk about.
So uh Jay, let's go ahead and dothis, but let's just kind of
jump in.
And I want to ask you somethinguh right away.
(07:20):
Like as uh as we get closer toyou know the main holiday, uh
Christmas, uh for a lot offolks, like what what do you
feel like is the responsibility,you being a father, what is the
responsibility or the pressures,if you will, of uh as we get a
little closer?
SPEAKER_00 (07:41):
Um I would say, oh man.
I would say the main the mainpressure that I'm I'm feeling as
we get closer is just makingsure that, you know, it's it's a
special moment, you know, makingsure that it's it's um, you
know, time to be remembered.
Because, you know, when we thinkabout our childhood and and
(08:03):
around these times during theholidays, um there's a there's
like a particular magic, youknow, that that you may have I
know everybody didn't grow upthe same, but you may have
experienced around Christmastime, you know, with with Santa
Claus and the gifts and thereindeer and all these different
tropes and things that we um,you know, that we kind of come
(08:24):
up under.
And, you know, my my thoughtsand opinion on on it has evolved
over time.
Yeah, you know, especiallygrowing up and just kind of
looking back, but um it's stillit's still something I want to
provide for my son.
At least him, you know, justhaving a good a good memory of
(08:47):
these times around theseholidays because there's just so
much that that influences it,right?
Yeah.
Um, you know, so uh as a dad, ashe gets older, I also want to
instill in him as as he's ableto understand, he's so young
right now that he it's it's justlights and and snow and Santa
and all and gifts and stuffright now.
(09:10):
Um but as as he gets older, it'sum, you know, I also feel the
pressure of, you know, kind ofhaving to explain to him like,
you know, son, this what whatthis the meaning behind this
holiday, you know, what what itwhat it really is about um from
uh unfortunately from you knowthe the capitalist standpoint um
and just how these differentholidays are manufactured to get
(09:32):
and you know I know I'm kind ofgoing off on a tangent, but
these these are the pressuresthat I think of, you know, as
I'm you know, as I'm raisinghim.
But for right now, it's justmainly making sure that, you
know, he got some good gifts andhe's you know he's happy at the
at the end of the day.
SPEAKER_01 (09:47):
Yeah, that's that's uh some important parts.
And I can I can kind of rememberaround that time, you know, when
the kids are a little bityounger.
And it's a it's a sense ofresponsibility, right?
When you think about it, theperson that I would say has a
lot of of leeway, or at leastwants to have a lot of leeway
(10:09):
and opportunity to create istypically gonna be, you know,
the mother.
Um, typically gonna be a ladyand whatnot.
Um, I don't know too many guysthat is all about, hey, let's
put some lights up.
Uh let's, you know, have aspecific kind of tree.
Let's do an eight-foot tree thisyear, right?
And and and make sure that ithas, you know, snow, the
(10:31):
icicles, four or five differentrows of lights.
I don't care about none of that.
You know, uh, I don't know toomany men that that get into
that.
So I would say that the ladies,you know, definitely have the
decor.
Um, but at the same time, it hasto be funded.
SPEAKER_00 (10:50):
That's funny, see what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01 (10:51):
It has to be funded.
So, so as men, and I'm notsaying that the ladies can't
afford it, because they can,right?
They can.
But the overall responsibility,like like one guy is gonna be
like, all right, baby, go aheadand spend a thousand dollars of
your own money, and then I'mgonna work on some other things,
right?
It typically doesn't work likethat, you know.
(11:12):
So she comes up with all theseideas, she comes up with these
things that that, you know, theexperience, if you will, that
she wants to create.
And then we basicallyco-signers, man.
SPEAKER_00 (11:22):
Yeah, yeah, you'll you'll begin some some Amazon
screenshots of shopping cartsand and the stuff that that's
that's decor and things likethat.
SPEAKER_01 (11:33):
Yeah, so I think that the the pressure um is more
so is making overseeing andmaking sure that a lot of
certain things that that arebrought to your attention
happens.
And you know, as I've gottenolder, you know, I've I've
looked at, you know, umChristmas uh around that time is
(11:56):
the most expensive time frame.
So we're talking about the monthof December because you have to
(13:29):
think about things kick offBlack Friday.
All right, so so your money isalready moving before December
gets here, right?
And so the Black Friday is acombination or a culmination, if
you will, I'm pulling out thethe Websters, of when uh money
money gets spent.
Right?
So we're talking about all kindsof stuff happening around Black
(13:53):
Friday that does not necessarilyhave to do with anything for
Christmas, Jay.
We're talking about TVs, we'retalking about furniture, uh,
we're talking about you know,wardrobe.
Now none of this, like this is adifferent budget than Christmas,
Jake.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, right.
Right?
So you need the Black Fridaymonies, and then as December
(14:16):
kicks in, it's almost like thisain't got nothing to do with
what you just spent for BlackFriday.
We need a new budget, sir.
Right, and so as we get intothat, um man, it it's it can be
uh a financial challenge.
And I'm not saying like you'respending money that you don't
have, but you know, credit carddoes go up 70% right in in
(14:41):
December, the the usage, if youwill.
But when you start thinkingabout things that are bought, is
it necessary?
We are getting the especiallyfor the people that we're
getting them for.
Like, look, I don't I don't havea wife right now, right?
(15:03):
But if I did have a wife and shegot to talking about how she
wanna everybody that she knowsneeds a gift, she may not be my
wife next year.
I'm just kidding.
Like I'm just saying we're gonnahave to have a conversation,
right?
Because you got the guy kid.
Now hold up, hold up, baby.
(15:24):
Your guy's son 35 years old.
I I think he I think he's goodon on uh on an Apple Watch.
I don't think that we need toget him a thousand dollar apple
watch at 35 years old.
He should be in his career bynow, right?
Right?
So I just think, man, thegenerosity can can be uh uh just
a little bit too much when weget into December.
(15:47):
And so again, my expectation isto be the level-headed
individual as we approach theholidays.
How about that, y'all?
Y'all like that?
Uh-uh.
Don't be hitting the button.
No, there ain't no otherepisode.
You gotta stick with this one.
Ain't nothing happens.
SPEAKER_00 (16:06):
They try to click next, next episode.
SPEAKER_01 (16:09):
All right, just like the barbecue, right?
This is it.
So uh the expectation um for uhfor a father again is to be the
the one that is gonna thinklogical uh during the season, uh
the one that's going to think uhresponsibly and the one that's
(16:30):
really just gonna have to takecharge.
Now, I know that there's this,you know, we create the vibe
because we don't want to becalled a Grinch.
I I get that.
But at the same time, we don'twant to be, you know,
overspending foods as well.
So that's something that we haveto take uh in consideration.
I don't think that women reallyhave to process that part.
SPEAKER_00 (16:55):
No, no, I don't think so.
You know, I I think like this,like I could be a Grinch now or
I could be a Grinch laterbecause we done spent too much.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, you're gonna have to pickyour poison on on what we gotta
do.
So I think that is a big part ofit, Pop.
Just um being level-headed, youknow, making sure that the
expenses and and and and youknow, honestly what it is,
(17:18):
women, we love you, but y'allare sopaholics, man.
Y'all don't know how to, like,y'all, y'all will spend and
y'all will buy things that arecompletely unnecessary.
Yeah, you you know you do it.
You got stuff in your houseright now that you don't even
use, but you bought it becauseyou wanted it and and now it's
just sitting there.
So yeah, you need that littlevoice on your shoulder that's
(17:41):
saying, nah, don't buy that.
You don't need that one.
Put that back.
So I think that um, especiallyduring the holidays when there's
so many different sales andthings going on, and folks just
trying to get you to buy stuffjust because it's 50 and 80%
off, just to have it.
No.
No.
We we we we gotta we gotta havea voice of of reason during that
(18:04):
point.
And, you know, during theholidays, you know, gift giving
is is is is great, you know,it's awesome, but really I think
it's it's it's more about um,you know, just kind of not I I
was I definitely would sayfamily time for sure, but it it
always comes back to, you know,really understanding, like every
(18:29):
every these these holidays, man,I don't want I don't want to get
too political.
I don't want to get toopolitical, but um I just use
them as as reminders, you knowwhat I'm saying, of like how
important the family is becauseeverybody doesn't have the
luxury to to go out and stopuntil they drop or go and do the
(18:49):
black, the Black Friday thing.
So it's really people out therethat's not even really concerned
about, you know, the financialuh side of it.
Um and they're just kind ofusing, you know, what they have
and being thankful for that.
And the gifts, you know, theymay, you know, create create
gifts out of just you know, justmoments and memories, you know,
(19:10):
and that's just as important,right, than going out and
spending a thousand bucks on ona on a bunch of different gifts.
I think that we have to kind ofremember um the root of it all
and and what that really is, andthat's the moments and memories
that we make it during thesetimes.
SPEAKER_01 (19:26):
Sure, sure.
Um, that's extremely importantand in value because you also
have to think about theprecedence that you're setting,
right?
Uh so when we start talkingabout uh, and I'm not really,
you spend what you want tospend, okay?
So we're not here to to befinancial planners or even your
budget, but I think just to putsome reminders out there of a
(19:50):
lot of times we do spend moneyon frivolous things, right?
You you uh have opportunities tobuy stock, right?
Think about that.
Instead of buying a thousanddollars or five hundred dollars
in Nike, how about gift yourchild five hundred and night
(20:11):
stock?
Like, what do you think aboutyou know something like that?
I think that that would showvalue, and then it it'll also
set a principle of how to spendmoney wisely and how to make
your money make money.
SPEAKER_00 (20:26):
Yeah, so that's a great lesson.
SPEAKER_01 (20:28):
Yes, yeah.
So I think that we have to getinto that.
I know that I haven't beenpreviously, because you know, a
lot of people look at the valueof the gift versus the value in
the gift.
And I think that if we can justkind of have that mindset, um,
that that would help.
You know, it it would help,especially when it comes to what
(20:50):
what kids value and what theylook at, you know.
Um, because I I don't know toomany kids out here talking about
mommy and dad, me, mommy and dadhad bought me a thousand dollars
in um in Amazon versus theAmazon boxes was to the ceiling
when I opened the door.
So I think that that's prettypowerful.
(21:11):
We can start using it as anopportunity of some financial
literacy, Jack.
SPEAKER_00 (21:16):
Facts.
You know, that really opens uhthe door to uh a much, a much
wider conversation just about,you know, materialism and and
like you said, how we spend onthings that, you know, how many
Christmas gifts do you have thatyou've gotten over the years
that you still utilize today orthat you still, you know what
I'm saying?
Like it eventually, you know,these gifts and things like that
(21:40):
will um, you know, come to anend of their use or they'll get
older, or you know, whatever thecase is.
Maybe you do have some thingsthat, you know, you still have,
but I think most gifts that thatwe receive um, you know, it are
are finite or or they come to ato the limit of usage.
But like you said, investing insomething like um some type of
(22:04):
stock that, you know what I'msaying, that maybe you are
going, like you said, you'regonna go buy some Nike or going
to go buy some, look into thatstock because um as it
appreciates over time, you notonly are, you know, giving them
an uh a valuable asset, butyou're also teaching, right?
You're teaching and kind ofreframing the narrative around
(22:28):
what a gift is, what a giftmeans, because I mean, let's
think about it.
You know, that's kind of likeone of those gifts that keeps on
giving, so to speak.
You know, you stocks, you gotdividends, you you know, you
continue to buy um and you seethat price rise over time.
Like that's really one of thebest gifts that you can get.
You know what I'm saying?
It's gonna beat out the AppleWatch or or you know, the pair
(22:52):
of shoes or whatever the caseis.
And I'm not telling nobody notto buy gifts, but maybe we can
incorporate um a part of thebudget into, you know, let's
diversify it a little bit.
Let's diversify the gifts.
I think that that's a good agood concept, Pops.
SPEAKER_01 (23:08):
Yeah, I agree with you 1,000%.
Um, you know, let's let's kindof drag social media into this
thing because they typicallyamplify, you know, the
comparison.
You know, you you uh you pull upyour uh Instagram or TikTok or
something like that, and you seeall these extravagant trees and
the light show in the front yardand the estates of uh of just
(23:33):
all of these things going on,and and then under the tree, you
got 2,000 presents in there,right?
And you know, certain presentsaren't gonna be wrapped, right?
The the designer gifts, thosethose don't you gotta see that.
SPEAKER_00 (23:44):
Oh, yeah, you gotta see that label.
SPEAKER_01 (23:46):
You gotta see the label on the screen.
And then, you know, you got thematch of pajamas, and you know,
the the pajamas are designer.
And so the thing is, like, ifyou really just if that's just
what you got going on, then thenwhy does it have to be on
display?
I would think that some momentswill be intimate moments, right?
(24:07):
So there's certain things, I inmy personal opinion, y'all,
certain things don't even needto make it to social media,
right?
It just needs to be our privateexperience as our family member,
as our family members, and justkind of cherish these moments,
man.
Not everything needs to be outthere, but we're talking about
social media, right?
(24:27):
So that'll never happen.
People are gonna do the mostmany times.
So uh that's kind of how thatgoes.
But you know, but as a father,again, you know, we still have
some responsibilities.
Like, for instance, you know, wewe have to be the voice of
reason when it comes to, youknow, shielding the the family's
(24:49):
financial stress.
Like it's almost like, okay,babe, if you have a significant
other, whatnot.
Like we we still have to live in2026, right?
We we still got some other goalsthat have nothing to do with
spending money during theholidays that we need to take in
(25:09):
consideration.
So I think that that's somethingthat uh we also have to do.
And Jay, just let me let me uhgive you this here as we as we
wrap this thing up now.
Um as a father of uh of ayoungin', do you feel like as a
as a father that there's sometype of fear of disappointing
the kids, you know, or thepartner if if the holiday isn't
(25:33):
big enough, if if there'scertain gifts that aren't
giving, if if there is not thethe uh certain aesthetic of the
holiday season, is is there afear of that or is there uh a
major uh you know thoughtprocess or mindset of that
happening?
SPEAKER_00 (25:51):
Well, for me, I have to say, I have to say no.
I think that not so much as afear.
Um my son is five, and you know,he's had some he has some some
good holidays.
You know, I I can say that he'shad some good holidays, you
know.
He's he isn't at that age yet towhere he understands to ask for
(26:13):
certain things or right, youknow what I'm saying, son, or
this is what I want.
I haven't started getting thosethose questions yet.
So we'll I will that'll be we'llI'll check back in on the
pressures and you know what I'msaying.
SPEAKER_01 (26:25):
Yeah, because he's in school now.
SPEAKER_00 (26:26):
Right, right, right.
So yeah, right.
So that compares to yeah, so um,but so far, you know, it's it's
been good.
He's been, you know, gratefuland and and you know, he's he's
had some good holidays.
So yeah, so it's it's been good.
But I do think that, you know,like I said before, I do want to
make it a point, you know, kindof that he understands what
(26:50):
these holidays are and just kindof explain it to him.
Um, you know, that gifts aregood, gifts are great, but you
know, at the end of the day, um,you know, it's really just more
about presence, you know, beingpresent and being around family
and and and spending that timeand making moments, you know,
(27:11):
because I do think about youknow my childhood and and and
maybe sometimes I was ungratefulum for some things and that
wasn't right, you know, but Ididn't I didn't understand it.
You know, nobody reallyexplained to me, you know what
I'm saying, like all right,yeah, this is the holidays or
whatever the case is, but it itain't all about gifts.
(27:31):
Um I think that's the main thingis just just to know, like, hey
man, it's not all about what youdon't get, you know, around this
time.
Um, you know, just just be happyfor what you have.
I think that's that's a goodreminder of being thankful and
grateful for your health, yourlife, your family.
You know, you got a roof overyour head, and and this kind of
(27:52):
sounds cliche, but it's so easyfor us to stray, especially
during the holidays, is justthink about what we want, what
we gotta get, and you know whatI mean.
So um, yeah, but I say we'llcheck in down the line.
You know, I'll let you know howhow that's a good thing.
SPEAKER_01 (28:06):
We perhaps check in down the line because when he
does get back to school, thankGod for the for the holiday
season, right?
Um for the kids, but there'sgonna be, you know, some
stories.
My daddy got me a motorcycle formy mommy bought me an iPhone 25.
Like, man, right.
(28:27):
Who is she?
Right?
So uh, yeah, so those storiesare coming.
Um, but you know, I definitelycommend you.
And I'm so proud of you of theprinciples that you installed in
my grandson.
And he does understand and kindof appreciate uh that things are
gifts and everything is justautomatically afforded to you.
You're not entitled to anything.
(28:50):
And so, you know, that's a greatjob on that.
So, look, uh, I think we mayhave to kind of extend this.
You know, all month long we'regonna be talking about, you
know, what goes on in this monthof the holiday season of
December.
And, you know, we'll we'llnavigate from what we did today
to, you know, dating during theholidays and what those
expectations look like.
(29:11):
Um, really quick reminder thoseof you in the Atlanta area,
December the 6th, which is thisSaturday, um, I will be your
official Santa for the city ofStonecrest.
So big shout out to the city ofStonecrest.
If you guys know anything aboutthe city of Stonecrest, on uh uh
(29:32):
D the first weekend of December,um I've been the official Santa
for the last, I think this isgoing on four years now.
And so I'll be there, freeevent.
Uh just pull up, look on all thesocial media, uh, and we'll make
sure that it's that it's upthere.
But the city of Stonecrest, um,we will uh be in the building.
Uh Jay, are you you gonna beSanta's helper, man?
(29:53):
You dressed up as an elf thisyear?
SPEAKER_00 (29:55):
Oh, Pops, don't do it to me.
SPEAKER_01 (29:58):
Gotta be a Santa's helper, man.
SPEAKER_00 (30:01):
Oh man.
Hey, man.
Hey, I'm down for the cause,man.
I I get one of them uh elf elfelf costumes, man.
SPEAKER_01 (30:08):
Yeah, it is, man.
At least just the hat, man.
We ain't gonna require the earsthis year, man.
But drop the hat off on yourselfand uh let's get it.
So look, guys, we appreciate youuh once again, another episode
of Pops and Sun Conversations.
Uh, remember, we're streaming onall platforms where you can
listen to a podcast, right?
So just uh make sure you canalso go to our website, w dot
(30:31):
popsandson conversations with anS dot com, and you can find out
about our events, uh how to bookus, and uh everything that we
have coming, as well as what youguys want to see from us.
So signing out once again.
It's your favorite Silver FoxRobin Lloyd.
SPEAKER_00 (30:49):
Mr.
Check three times, baby.
SPEAKER_01 (30:51):
All right, happy holidays.
We'll see you next episode.
Yep.
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