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June 19, 2025 26 mins

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Ever felt like you're supposed to have it all figured out but secretly you're drowning in doubt and uncertainty? You're not alone. 

In this raw, unfiltered solo episode, Rob "Pops" Malloy steps up to deliver a message straight from the heart to men everywhere who are silently struggling. With his son taking the day off, Rob seizes this moment during Men's Health Awareness Month to speak directly to those carrying burdens they've never been taught to process.

"Dear Son, you're not lost, you're just becoming," he writes in a powerful letter that forms the centerpiece of this episode. Drawing from his own journey as a father, mentor, and once-confused young man himself, Rob dismantles the harmful notion that masculinity means having all the answers or suppressing emotions. Instead, he offers a refreshing alternative: true manhood is about showing up authentically, embracing your journey of becoming, and understanding that vulnerability isn't weakness—it's wisdom.

As he approaches his 50th birthday, Rob reflects candidly on regrets, celebrations, and the liberating understanding that while our past decisions shape us, they don't define us. His message resonates with surprising depth: you don't need perfection to become the man you're meant to be. You need presence, patience, and purpose.

Ready to stop suffering in silence? This episode isn't just content to consume—it's an invitation to join a community of men walking similar paths. Share this message with someone who needs it, then connect with us at PopsandSonConversations.com because your journey of becoming doesn't have to be walked alone.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Okay, welcome to another amazing episode of Pops
and Son Conversations.
And guess what, ladies andgentlemen, it's a solo act today
.
It is just me, your favoritesoul fox, rob Malloy, doing a
solo job.
Look, it's still Men's HealthAwareness Month.

(00:29):
I gave my son the day off and Iwanted actually to have an
opportunity to speak to him.
Other fathers, other sons,other brothers out there, and I
wanted to send a message outtoday.
This episode is personal.
There's no guests, no extravoices.

(00:51):
It's just me and you, son, ofcourse, in spirit.
All right.
So, look, this message today isfor the ones out there.
You may feel like you've beenleft to figure it all out alone.
You know the ones that's outhere suffering in silence, you
know, walking around with asmile but carrying the weight of

(01:13):
the world on your back.
If you ever looked in themirror and asked yourself, you
know, am I doing a good job?
Am I enough doing a good job?
Am I enough?
If you've ever, you know, justlaid there awake at night,
wondering, you know, why am Istill stuck?

(01:34):
Why aren't I reaching my goals?
You know it can be tough outthere, I understand.
So you may be feeling unseen,unheard or just unsure.
So I want you to sit with mefor a minute, because I've been
exactly where you are.
Now I can't say precisely whereyou are, because we all have
our own unique journey, but whatI can say is I've battled the

(01:57):
silence, I've wrestled with someissues, personal doubt.
You know I've walked a lot ofroads without direction, even at
a young young age.
So I want to talk to you guystoday, not as a critic, but as a
man who sees you Not as apreacher, but a father, a

(02:18):
brother, a coach, someone whoknows what it's like to carry
questions with nobody to answeror nobody to ask.
So, look, you don't needperfection to become a man.
What you do need is you needpresence, you need patience and,
as you know, I strongly feel,you need purpose.

(02:41):
So lean in on this one.
This one's for you All.
Right Again, look, nobody hasall the right answers.
These are my personal opinions.
This is my perspective as a dad, as a brother, as a man,
someone who was a husband,brother, you know, as a man,

(03:02):
someone who was a husband, youknow, as a coach, a mentor, a
mentee.
I've been on all sides of it.
So let's do this.
You know I decided to give atitle for this particular

(03:22):
episode, and I want this to besomething for the sons out there
, so I labeled it.
I titled it Dear Son, you'renot lost, you're just becoming.
Yeah, that was fly right, allright.
So look, let's talk about whatit means to become, because
truth is, most young men aren'tlost, they're just not given

(03:43):
room to grow.
Aren't lost, they're just notgiven room to grow.
Society expects results rightaway.
Family expects a young man tobe stable.
Your peers expect for you toperform, but nobody teaches you
how to process.
Nobody teaches you how toprocess.

(04:03):
No one tells you it's okay tonot be okay to to admit that
you're, you're scared, you maybe confused or you just plain
tired of pretending, like you,you can't figure it out and you
don't want to continue thefacade like everything is OK and
you got it all together.
So so let me say this loud andclear You're not late, you're

(04:27):
not broken, you're not weak,you're becoming, and becoming
takes time, it takes mistakesand, trust me, a whole lot of
grace.
So let me share something withyou, because I actually decided
to write something.
I don't do it often, but when Ido put my head down and write

(04:48):
and focus, I can put some thingstogether.
So this is what I wrote justfor you.
Dear son, I know you're tired,tired of trying to figure it all
out on your own, tired.
Tired of trying to figure itall out on your own, tired of

(05:18):
wondering if you're good enough,smart enough, strong enough,
like tired of holding things inbecause nobody ever gave you a
safe space to to just let it allout.
But let me say this, and let mesay this very clearly you are
not lost, you are not becoming,you are becoming.
You are not lost, you arebecoming.
And even when the roads feeldark, I promise you you're still

(05:43):
on your way.
See, life doesn't hand you amap.
It hands you moments, momentsto rise, moments to fall,
moments to choose who you wantto be, even when the world is
shouting who it thinks youshould be.
I need you to know.
It's OK to be unsure, it's allright to cry, it's OK to not
have all the answers.
You're not weak for feeling.

(06:05):
You're actually wise foracknowledging.
Son, being a man isn't aboutbeing cold, hard, tough and
emotionless.
It's about showing up.
It's about owning your truth.
It's about healing, growing,building a life you're proud of,

(06:29):
not a life that just looks goodon the ground, or whatever.
Your social media is right.
You don't have to become yourpain.
You can become your purpose.
If your father wasn't there, iflife beat you down, if love
portrayed you, you still get tochoose how your story unfolds.

(06:51):
You're the author.
You get to write and rewritethe chapters in your life.
You're not your failures,you're not your setbacks.
You're not who they say youwere.
You are still becoming.
So.

(07:12):
Take your time, but don't wasteit.
Take a deep breath, breathe outdeep, love yourself enough to
forgive yourself and remember,no matter how far you've gone,
you can always come back home,son, with love.

(07:35):
Pop.
Look, I know for me, writingthis letter is near and dear to
me, because I've never had aletter written to me.
I love my dad.
He's amazing.
He showed me how to be a man,how to be responsible, how to be

(07:59):
accountable, how to be aprotector and provider, and
that's amazing.
So you know, I just want toencourage all of you guys, even
the fathers, that you know youfeel like you're not doing
enough and you can actually domore.
I get it.
I understand that.
Even with that, I don't wantyou to feel any type of way I

(08:22):
don't want you to feel likebecause you didn't make enough
money, because you didn't haveall of this wealth to give to
your heir.
You know we're still learning.
We're still learning on a dailybasis.
We're still figuring it out.
You know it gets realinteresting because as you

(08:44):
become older I'll be 50.
Right, I'll be 50 in Octoberand I still look back and
sometimes I think you know whatI could have did this better.
I could attribute, I could havecontributed a little bit more
here.
I also think about the thingsthat did work out Four beautiful

(09:09):
children, one son, threeamazing daughters, building a
legacy while I'm here, notwaiting for my name to mean more
when I'm gone.
So this journey, even havingthis platform y'all, has been
pretty incredible.
It's been therapeutic.

(09:29):
It's definitely been a growthspurt for me in all aspects
spiritually, emotionally,physically, even from a
financial standpoint, learninghow to be a better steward over
the things that God has blessedme with.
So you know, just big shout outto everybody.

(09:51):
You know your support is isalways appreciated, you know.
So you know I think aboutsometimes the things that, the
things that I feel like I couldhave done better, but the things
that I've learned, though youknow I was a late bloomer, I'll

(10:17):
admit it and what I mean by alate bloomer is really
understanding the power ofpurpose and understanding the
motivation of being on a missionand turning your pain into
progress and just being a pupilof life and taking every lesson,
every experience and allowingthat to mold my present and

(10:39):
future, and not holding on tothe past.
I think that's one of thebiggest things, as men, we deal
with is just thinking aboutregret.
What if we went to college?
What if we didn't go to college?
What if we became anentrepreneur early in life?
What if we took better care ofour bodies?

(10:59):
What would our health look likenow?
What if we made differentdecisions and the people that we
decided to be in a relationshipwith or invest time in, our
resources and in our mentalcapacity, our emotions, you know

(11:20):
you got to take inconsideration, but you can't let
that be who you are or who youare becoming.
You have to allow all thoseexperiences to help mold your
future, should be motivating,should be inspiring.
I know for me, you know I thinkback.
What, what I could have beendoing.

(11:40):
I could have been out in thestreets, I could have been
selling drugs.
I could have been an alcoholic.
I could have been doing.
I could have been out in thestreets.
I could have been selling drugs.
I could have been an alcoholic.
I could have been a drug addict.
I could have been a thief, youknow, I could have been in
prison for making you know somebad decisions, especially
unnecessarily and beinginfluenced by the wrong people.
So there's just so many thingsto be grateful and thankful for,

(12:04):
but honestly, we also have toleverage those things.
We have to leverage them.
We have to leverage them interms of letting our sons know,
even letting our daughters know,letting our community know that
, hey, you know what?
We didn't make all the rightdecisions and some decisions

(12:24):
just was flat out stupid.
All right, dumb, dd, dumbdecisions.
We've, we've all made them.
But we've also made some verypivotal Decisions.
We've also made some, you know,incredible, amazing decisions

(12:47):
that change the trajectory ofour lives.
So really we have to, we have tocreate that balance, the
balance of accepting who we arebut knowing and understanding
that we are continually growingand developing.
We have to understand that thechoices that we've made in the

(13:10):
past have molded us, but itdidn't completely define us,
because we still can makedecisions and choices every day

(13:31):
can definitely help you, enhanceyour journey for tomorrow, or
three years from now, or 30years from now, and so embrace
your journey.
It's your journey.
Each one of us has a uniquewalk in this thing called life,

(13:53):
and the path that we go is goingto be the path that we decide
to go.
You got to understand that theinfluences on the outside of you
.
If it's not beneficial, if itdoesn't enhance you, If it
doesn't inspire and motivate you, if it doesn't bring life into

(14:14):
your spirit, you don't have toaccept it.
You literally do not have toaccept it.
You have the opportunity tomake a decision.
You have the opportunity tomake choices.
You have the opportunity towork towards your goals and

(14:36):
dreams unapologetically.
It's 100% on you.
If you say, yes, I'm going todo this, I'm going to make
things happen, I'm going toexecute the plan, I'm going to
write the vision, then that'sexactly what you can do, that's
exactly what you got to do.
So, again, I want to encourageyou, because I know that every

(15:02):
day is a different day andsometimes we get caught up in
these thoughts, thinking thatwe're not enough, that we can't
move forward, that we're notbeing the best that we can, that
we don't even have it in us andwe just roll it through the
punches every single day.

(15:22):
That doesn't have to be yourfuture.
It doesn't have to be yourright now, your decision away of
changing your life Real talk.
I mean, it's up to you and it'sjust that simple.
So, you know, big shout out toall the fathers out here.

(15:44):
You know we recently celebratedFather's Day.
It was a pretty amazing day.
I got a chance to spend sometime with my dad, mr Robert Lee
Malloy, 81 years old sharp, andyou know he dropped some gems.
He dropped some gems and so Ican't wait to have dad on the

(16:06):
show really, really soon.
You know that's going to beexciting.
Got a chance to spend some timewith my brother as well.
I only have one brother, justlike only have one son.
Got a chance to spend some timewith Jaden.
You know we we we're businesspartners, so we have a lot of
different experiences that weknow are very special and unique

(16:27):
.
So we love, we love our journey.
It's pretty amazing, so we'rereally thankful for those
opportunities.
Now, if this message kind of hityou in the heart, I want you to
do two things.
First thing I want you to do isI want you to share the episode
with a young man who needs it.

(16:48):
Like, don't gatekeep, is thatwhat the young folks say?
Don't gatekeep, don't keep itto yourself.
You know there's a son, there'sa nephew, a little cousin, a
young brother, a coworker, agodson you know, out there that
thinks that nobody sees them.
You know you got to let themknow that you do.
And the second thing I want youto do is I want you to reach

(17:10):
out, like this isn't just apodcast, this isn't just
something you know to listen toonce or twice a week, you know.
So we want you to actually hitthe link and or visit a Web site
Pops and Son Conversations withan S dot com.
That's Pops and SonConversations dot com.

(17:31):
And look, you know we've gotmore talks.
We have, you know, moreresources.
Continue to build thiscommunity and and you don't have
to walk this journey aloneanymore.
That's the biggest message,that's one of the biggest
reasons why we put this platformtogether.
So that's why we want morepeople to share it.
It's not just for the men, it'spops and sun conversations.

(17:52):
But listen, we want our mothers, our sisters, our companions,
our wives, our daughters.
We want them to know that we'reactually having these
conversations, and I think thatwould be encouraging, right?
So I mean, this isn't just apodcast, it's a podcast, it's an
entire movement, because, Imean, think about every

(18:14):
generation of sons needs realmen to say you're not broken,
You're just building, you're notlate, you're right on time, and
that's what this is all about.
So check it out.
Until next time, I want youguys to continue to embrace your
journey, stand tall, grow slowand always remember you're not

(18:39):
lost, you are becoming All right.
So, peace, love, legacy.
It's your favorite civil fox,rob Malloy, aka Pops, signing
off.
We'll see you guys next, nextepisode.
And again, don't forget ourPatreon.
We're rocking that out, we lovethat community and we're

(18:59):
embracing all of you guys.
So until next time, blessings,peace and we out.
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