Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
all right guys.
Welcome back to another episodepops and son conversations.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
And of course, it's
your favorite silver fox rob
malloy and it's check threetimes here on the ones and twos.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Oh, okay, all right,
you're in the booth, you in the
booth.
Huh, hey, I'm trying, oh man.
How you feeling.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
I'm feeling good,
pops, you know.
Another day, another dollar,the birds chirping, it's good.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Buzzing, right, all
that you know.
I have to let everybody knowbecause let's address the
elephant in the room my throat,as they say.
Right, the Ebonics my throat,you know.
So I'm recovering from dealingwith the weather and screaming
(00:59):
at events and celebrating andjust having a good time.
So you guys just bear with me.
This will probably be the lastepisode where you hear the Raspy
Rob Malloy right Double R,raspy Rob.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Raspy Rob is crazy,
oh man.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
It kind of makes you
want to go on the booth and lay
some tracks.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
MC Raspy Rob MC.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Ratsby Rob MC Double
R man that is funny.
Oh man, so welcome everybody.
We're happy that you're joiningus, preferably on a Thursday,
because that's when our newepisodes come out, so you want
to catch them fresh so that youcan share them, and they can be
(01:47):
the water cooler topics or stuffthat you just share with your
significant other, your son,daughter.
Our content is universal, eventhose pops and son conversations
.
Everything we talk about, youcan put it anywhere, you can
table it anywhere and have thoseconversations, so that's why we
(02:09):
enjoy it.
So, uh, jay, what's lined upfor today?
Man, I think that we alludedmaybe last episode or episode
before that we was going to havea specific topic, plus a lot of
people were emailing us andDMing us, so we're going to
address that now.
What's that topic for today,jay?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yeah, so today's
topic is green flags, the green
flags that you see while dating.
We already know about the redflags.
We talk about that enough, soon this episode, we want to
highlight the good side, thebright side, the green flags
that make you want to go.
You don't want to stop, youwant to go.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
On go.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
You know that's a
different take.
You don't really hear a lot ofpeople talk about this, so I'm
excited to share on this episode.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
You know.
I wonder why, though?
Because you can't be having badtimes all the time.
It's like you don't want peopleto know when you had a good
experience.
You know, when you're gettingto know somebody, you don't want
people to know that.
Hey, you know what?
I met a gentleman, I met abeautiful lady.
We had great conversation.
(03:19):
It was stress free, it was nopressure, like man.
Where are those stories at man?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Where they at, though
.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Where they at.
So we're going to talk aboutthe green flags and really the
getting to know process, becauseif you don't have green flags
in the getting to know process,then you need to hit the stop
sign Right, you need to take ahard stop and when you do see
(03:51):
these green flags, you know youshould appreciate them.
I think you should alsoacknowledge them and then really
just just roll with that.
Just roll with that.
You know a lot of people willroll with you.
Know someone who is.
They're not, they're not sureof anyone.
(04:11):
The benefit of the doubt, butit's.
It's actually OK if you juststick to someone that is giving
you the green flags to moveforward.
So that's what we're going todo.
How do you want to start thisthing off, Jerry?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm going to start.
I'll start with one of my greenflags.
You know my generation.
We are the social media folks,the texters, the Twitter fingers
.
So for me, a green flag is theeffort to get to know somebody.
(04:47):
Right, okay, um, yeah, I knoweverybody.
Everybody gets busy, we all gotlives.
But if you showing genuineinterest in somebody, then you
know it should be nothing to tobe able to to hold a
conversation or or give a phonecall or reach out.
You know, a lot of times, asmen, we always have to be able
(05:08):
to hold a conversation or give aphone call or reach out.
You know, a lot of times, asmen, we always have to be the
guys to.
You know, reach out the goodmorning text.
They don't even like goodmorning texts.
Now, this is crazy.
The good morning text used tobe the one surefire, like you
know.
You on my mind.
I'm thinking about you, but nowthey saying they don't even like
that, no more.
But I digress.
So, um, yeah, but for me, justjust putting in that effort.
(05:29):
You know the um asking mequestions about what I got going
on, you know, seeming genuinelyinterested in you know my life
or or or whatever I have going,because I know me personally,
when I'm, when I'm getting toknow a woman, I want to know,
like I want I.
I ask these questions.
(05:50):
I'm curious, I want to know what, what you're passionate about,
what's your likes, what's yourdislikes.
Not because I want to like,mold or or transform into what
that is.
It's not just I'm askingbecause you know well for one.
I want to know if you know wehave some things in common, if
we could be compatible.
(06:10):
But it's also just good to toget to know the person that you,
that you're interested in,right, yeah.
So, um, definitely, effort is agreen flag.
So if I, if she's asking me youjust different questions that I
don't normally get asked, offthe rip, I'm like, okay, all
right, so you might genuinely beinterested in what I got going
(06:31):
on.
Maybe you could be.
You know, you could be bait,you might be bait, okay.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
You know what that
should hold a lot of weight,
because in this world, man,we're in a world of instant
gratification.
We're in a world, or datingspace, specifically of you know.
Prove to me that you're worthmy time.
(06:58):
What do you bring to the table?
Date them all sis to the table.
Date them all sis.
I had to go to date them allsis and let that one step up.
And it's really interesting thedifferent mindsets you know,
(07:20):
being late 40s, going into thehalf a century mark, which makes
it sound really interesting,right?
Yeah, there's a group of ladiesthat really want guys to show
(07:41):
and prove, and that's okay.
But when you talk aboutreciprocity, what does that mean
for you?
Because if you want a guy to goall out, show you that he's
interested, show you that he'spaying attention and show him
(08:02):
that he's all in as far asshowing you who he is, what is
his incentive, and if you don'tthink that a man needs an
incentive and he should just puthis best foot forward, then you
don't realize what competitionyou're against that's a good
point right there, it's a greatpoint.
(08:25):
There are women that understandthat there are some amazing men
out here, just like there'samazing women.
And how would I, you know, setmyself apart initially?
And the thing is, you know,we're not talking about matches,
dollar for dollar, what's spentin dinners and gifts or things
(08:48):
like that, but you know greatenergy is high stakes, like you
mentioned, showing genuineinterest, reciprocity, when it
comes to, you know, just beingpresent, being vulnerable,
(09:09):
meaning okay.
well, typically you know Iwouldn't say this or share this
or be open to this, but this isa brand new, unique opportunity.
So, again, I want him to knowthat I'm not like any other
women.
You know there's women thatwill sit back, wait for a phone
(09:32):
call, wait for a text message,and a day or two goes by and
she'll be like hey, I've beenwaiting for you to call me.
That man might have been in thehospital the last 12 hours Come
on now.
That man might be dealing withan emergency the last 12 to 18
(09:53):
hours, you don't know, right,but just kind of waiting around
and seeing what a person's goingto do, testing them.
From my understanding, womendon't like to be tested, right,
right.
So so I go through those sameshenanigans to see what this guy
is doing or what he's not doing.
(10:14):
If you feel some type of waymeaning, hey, you was on my mind
or hey, I was just checking in,or hey, is everything OK, do it
.
That alone is going to separateyou from a lot of women that
are sitting back and waiting.
And the crazy part about that,jay, is they're waiting on
(10:36):
multiple individuals, jay.
They're waiting on multipleguys to see who's going to step
up.
That's a lot of energy, man.
That's a whole lot of energy.
That's a whole lot of energy.
That's a whole lot of uh, whatthey call rent space.
That's a whole lot of space.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Oh yeah, dealing with
free rent.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Yes, free man rent
free, oh man.
So anyway, uh, let's, let'sjust uh move forward, because I
know we got a lot that we wantto cover um in this.
So, that being said, uh yeah,green flag.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, that's a green
flag for me.
I got another one, I think inthis one you know, I hate to
even have to say this, but itcan be lacking at times mutual
respect is a green flag.
Just respect.
Period.
You know man.
Respect for you know time.
(11:33):
Respect for um.
You know values, just respect.
I think.
A lot of times, you know therecan be some disrespect going on,
and and and sometimes, yeah,exactly that's what right,
inadvertent disrespect.
So you know, when you comeacross somebody that's mindful
(11:56):
and that's self-aware, you knowI didn't mean to, you know I
don't want to disrespect you Letme, you know, go about this a
different way.
Let me figure out how I cannavigate this.
I think that's a green flag,you know, just having that, that
consideration and being, youknow, woman enough to actually
(12:17):
admit you know that's good.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
That's good, that's a
green flag.
That is a green flag, uh, thatawareness of respect and uh, and
you have to be able to umchannel that, because I know
that there's a lot of brothersout here that may be uh,
aggressive, uh, or tooaggressive, um, maybe not even
(12:42):
you know uh respectful, justbecause of aggression.
And so sometimes, you know,women can just straight up
guilty until proven innocent,like she doesn't even know who
you are, your character, butmaybe because of the way you
look, uh, maybe because of yourmannerism, maybe because of your
(13:05):
confidence, you know she's likelet me get this brother off his
high horse real quick.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
You know, and it may
just be because of a previous
experience, that's nothing to dowith what you've done
Personally.
Just you know there's a lotgoing on.
A lot of sisters have a lot ofstuff going on.
I'm not going to lie to you, Iain't going to sugarcoat it and
a lot of them do know that theywear it on their sleeve, they
wear it on their face, like eventrying to approach a woman, you
(13:39):
know you coming down and to youknow she can see you coming and
she might not be in the mood,she might not, you know, want to
be bothered.
But at the same time you don'tknow who you're meeting.
You might meet your next client, next business partner, someone
who actually help youcontribute um in your life,
(14:01):
someone that might, might windup being a really good friend,
really good colleague, becauseyou got a steak face, you
brother got to navigate throughthat and you know I'm not that
patient, jay, I'm not the guy.
That's hey, baby, why are younot smiling?
What can I do to help you smile?
No, I'm not.
No, no, man, no, I'm, hey.
(14:23):
You need to acknowledge whatyou got going on, sister.
You know I'll be cordial.
I definitely will be, you know,uh, I'll be cordial, uh, I
definitely will be, uh, you know, cool, complimentary or
complimenting rather.
But uh, you know, all of usneed to check ourselves.
Man, a kind demeanor goes along way right, it goes along a
(14:47):
lot further than women think.
So the respect thing, I think,is really important because it's
in your character.
I don't think that it'snecessarily learned behavior
unless you consider yourself.
You know, you remember the termmean girls.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Oh yeah, that's a
thing.
Speaker 1 (15:07):
A lot of women
embrace the term mean.
You know I'm a mean girl, athing.
A lot of women embrace the termme.
Well, you know I'm a mean girl.
I don't, I I don't you knowreally like to talk to people
and you know I'm gonna look atyou.
Funny, why, why, how does thatbenefit you know anyone?
So, um, I like that man, let's,let's, let's move on.
I think I have something that Ijust feel like goes a long way.
(15:31):
I think a sister with a goodsense of humor, a sister with a
good sense of humor, understandsthat everything doesn't have to
be serious, like no.
It doesn't have to be serious,like, oh now, and that's really
(15:53):
a kind demeanor, a kind gesture,when you know you're in the
grocery store and she's like,hey, you know there's 20 of us
in the line and there's noself-checkout.
You know just something likethat man, self-checkout.
You know just something likethat man, that simple, fun,
(16:17):
non-invasive, if you will,non-intrusive, that just lets
you know that, hey, man, youknow what she has?
Good energy, she can make anysituation.
You know a good one, a positiveone, so I would say a good
sense of humor.
How do you feel about?
You know a good one, a positiveone, so I would say a good
sense of humor.
How do you feel about?
You know, do you actually payattention to a woman with a good
sense of humor?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Listen, Pops, I am
one of those people that I love
to laugh.
I think laughter is one of the.
What do they say?
What's that phrase?
It's the cure, it's one of thegreatest happiness, it's some
phrase?
I can't think about it.
But long story short, I love tolaugh.
So if I'm with somebody and ifI'm going to know somebody and
(17:02):
they cracking jokes and they canmake me laugh or they laughing
at my jokes, like not just likefake laughing, but really
laughing, and we can keeplaughing, Like we can just sit
and that's the greatest thingever to me.
But to me it's rare, Like it'snot often, that I really find
somebody that has that samesense of humor as me.
(17:23):
Oh man, so when I do, yeah,it's definitely a green flag for
me If we could laugh and justbe, you know, kind of goofy
sometimes.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Yeah, yeah it's
definitely a green flag for me
If we could laugh and just be,you know, kind of goofy
sometimes.
I love that.
Yeah, yeah, definitely,definitely.
That's really important and Ithink that's a commonality that
people will be able toappreciate because, again, it's
so simple, right, it's anopportunity to just laugh.
(17:53):
It don't have to be anythingafter that.
You just shared that moment,that's just a green flag.
And then it's so non-intrusivethat it's like, hey, well, you
know what are you doing?
Can we connect another time andjust have some laughs in a
different environment?
Like to me, man, I think that'dbe the flyest thing that's
(18:15):
never happened to me.
I think that would be super flyif that ever happened.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Yeah, yeah, I agree
with you.
So, ladies, I hope y'alllistening, y'all get to get your
sense of humor, man, get to getto get to comedy game Right,
don't be so, don't be so uptight, laugh a little.
Um, I think, another one,another green flag for me is
(18:39):
just, in general, having, um, apositive attitude.
I'm one of those people, I'mone of those silver lining
people.
I'm one of those, um, you know,it's, it's gonna be all right,
everything's like.
I'm not the, the debbie downernegative person.
Yeah, you're not gonna hear mesaying anything that is going to
(19:00):
to bring the mood down.
Like I'm gonna always speak,you know, into speaking to
existence how I want to feel,how I want my mood to be.
Because they say, you know, themore that you smile, like, if
you actually smile, go throughthe motions of smiling, it can
lift your mood, just that actionright there.
So having a positive attitude,you know, regardless of your
(19:23):
circumstance, can actually pullyou out of a slump, sometimes,
like you can actually change.
You know it's crazy how, howour, how the brain, chemistry
and our minds work, but justactually going through the
motions you can convinceyourself and you can feel better
.
Like, because feelings arealways temporary, they fleeting
right.
You don't have to feel acertain type of way if you don't
(19:44):
want to.
You could change that just bychanging your attitude.
And I think a lot of timespeople get stuck in an attitude
and it can kind of be thatlittle rain cloud over your head
and then that can spread toother people.
You get what I'm saying.
So to me that's and I knowwe're not talking about red
(20:08):
flags, that's a red flag, but agreen flag is, you know, having
that positive attitude.
I know that when we get in aconversation you're not going to
be talking about somemiscellaneous stuff.
That's just like oh man, whyare you telling me about?
this there's nothing happy orpositive we can talk about.
(20:28):
I know we all go through stufftoo, but just a positive
attitude, I think, goes a longway.
So that's a green flag for me.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I like that.
Yeah, I like that a lot and Ithink that's really, really
important, because ladies have atendency to hold back.
Let's just be real, you know,because the reason why you know
that is because one of thesaying is I'm going to let the
(20:59):
man lead as if we needpermission.
Ain't that interesting?
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Oh yeah, I'm a let.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
I'm a let.
Oh my God, that right there,that's a red flag.
Yes, Now think about a good law, would you?
Would you think you do, honeyNow?
So let me, let me jump intothis, because I think that this
particular green flag couldalmost literally finish the rest
(21:32):
of this episode, because it'sso important.
I'm just going to go out hereand say it man, no pressure for
commitment is a green flag to me.
When getting to know someone,you want to go through the
(22:00):
seasons, and we know that theseasons you know fall isn't
necessarily, uh, three months,spring isn't necessarily four
months, so each season could belonger and shorter than the
other.
The reason why I think that nopressure for commitment right
away means that they're not in arush, meaning they're not
(22:25):
looking for validation to be ina relationship or to have a man,
if you will.
They respect that there is apace that you both need to be
comfortable with and you bothneed to be patient while you're
getting to know each other.
You both need to be patientwhile you're getting to know
each other.
Don't get me wrong.
(22:47):
I know that love at first sight, but I really feel like it
could be lust, infatuation atfirst sight, because you're only
seeing the external.
That's all you can see rightaway is the external.
And it takes time.
That's all you can see rightaway is the external.
And it takes time, it takeseffort, uh, and it takes a
(23:09):
intentionality when you'rereally getting to know a person.
So I think a woman that is notpressuring for commitment is
important and uh, also, you knowshe doesn't have that time
clock.
Now again, I'm a little bitolder, I'm seasoned gent.
So when a woman, if I'm gettingto know a woman, she's like,
(23:32):
yeah, I'm trying to get married,I want to get married in the
next year, I'm like to who?
You already got him in mindbecause you might need a year to
get to know him.
That's the right one.
So when does the the clockstart ticking?
That's kind of scary, it's,it's very scary.
(23:57):
And so you know, I think that agreen flag is a woman that
understands that there's aprocess, uh, a woman that
understands that when you meet aman who is operating in his
purpose, you have to align withhim.
And this may go over somepeople's head, but this is a
(24:20):
pops and son conversation.
I'm talking to my son and as afather and son conversation, and
I'm talking to my son and, as afather, I'm talking on behalf
of fathers, because this issomething that fathers would say
to their sons, and so it'simportant Find your purpose,
operate in your purpose.
(24:42):
Do not chase.
There's no reason to chase awoman.
Purpose, do not chase.
There's no reason to chase awoman.
There's no need to chase women,because you're going after
women that are going theopposite direction as you.
You want to attract the rightwoman.
You want to attract women thatappreciate who you are and what
(25:03):
you're doing.
How do you feel about that, jay?
Speaker 2 (25:21):
I think that's
probably the best piece of
advice I've heard in regards toconducting yourself as a man and
navigating relationships.
Truthfully, I don't think truewords have been spoken, and I
think that you'll find outquickly if you do the opposite.
You know just how true thatholds.
I mean, it just makes so muchsense Find your purpose, operate
on your purpose and you knowyou won't have any words.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
You can't go wrong
with that yeah, plus, it's
something that you can literallyduplicate.
It's something that that youcan replicate.
It's something it's good adviceand wisdom that you can share
with your son or your daughter,because you don't want your
daughter dating a man who is ina rush, who is, who is, uh, like
(26:10):
what, what you doing, what'swhat you got going on, what you
need me for, right?
So, uh, I think that, uh, it'ssomething we we can revisit this
, um, but I do think that it'ssuper key, super important, that
we do look at these things andpay attention to it.
(26:31):
Pay attention to green flags.
You can spot red flags all thetime and you ignore them.
You cannot afford to ignoregreen flags, because a lot of
people are accustomed to toxicrelationships.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
So they're looking
for the red flags.
So, look, you know green flagslike us too.
Good to be true, you know.
So they may not be used to ahealthy process and getting to
know a person, and that'ssomething that you have to learn
and be patient, but just makesure that you respect it and you
(27:06):
implement it.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Well said.
Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, indeed, the
green flag, and they think that,
oh well, they just being, youknow, nice or it's the
representative, and oh, this,this is who this person is they
are, they're representing to thebest of their ability.
So you know, that's somethingthat we definitely have to keep
(27:42):
in mind.
So we appreciate you guys.
Rocking with us Green flags isa thing.
Speaking of flags, check threetimes.
Let them know how they can getinformation to us and requests
and all that stuff.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
All right, welcome
back listeners.
If you were here last week andyou already know where to go.
If your first time listening isright now, make sure you visit
wwwpopsandsunconversationscom.
That's going to be a one-stopshop to get all the info, all
(28:21):
the updates.
You can follow our social mediaprofiles from there.
You can listen to the podcastfrom updates.
You can follow our social mediaprofiles from there.
You can listen to the podcastfrom there.
You can ask questions.
You can get involved.
Hey, we want to hear what youguys have to say about the
podcast.
All right, we want to hear, wewant to get comments, we want to
get feedback.
We love to get the questionsfrom our listeners, so make sure
(28:43):
you guys go to