February 3, 2025 • 45 mins
Get ready to uncover the secrets of reigniting your dormant dreams with the inspiring Albert Pelletier, a motivational speaker dedicated to helping others find fulfillment. Discover how Albert's transformative Man Camp Retreat series has been making waves by empowering dads to become more present and positive in their families. We'll also delve into his unique three-step process from "What's On Your Backburner," designed to help you overcome obstacles and passionately pursue those dreams you've set aside.
Feeling like life's on repeat and missing purpose? You're not alone. Many of us grapple with the "Is this all there is?" question at some point. Join the conversation as we explore the journey toward personal authenticity and fulfillment, sharing stories of career changes and passions rediscovered. Whether it's furniture making or owning a goat farm, we emphasize that meaningful activities don't always have to be financially driven, and living out those dreams on your back burner is possible in small ways.
We also tackle the hidden obstacles we face in reaching our personal goals. Learn how childhood beliefs and subconscious barriers can hinder your progress and how resolving inner conflicts can lead to unexpected breakthroughs. Albert sheds light on the power of retreats and self-help techniques, offering motivational insights and reminders that it's never too late to pursue your dreams. Tune in for a compelling discussion on aligning with your true calling and overcoming internal struggles to achieve success.
God, doubt, and proof walk into a podcast... it goes better than you’d expect!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, Baton Rouge, this is Albert Pelletier.
Keep listening to Porch andParish the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Ever had a dream that you just couldn't seem to get
off the ground, a passion thatfizzled out, leaving behind a
trail of what-ifs?
Life has a way of sideliningour desires, but what if you
could reignite that spark?
Today we're joined by AlbertPelletier, a man I've known for
years and whose insights havehad a profound impact on my own
life.
Albert's not just amotivational speaker.
He's a guide, helping peoplenavigate the tricky terrain of
(00:33):
unfulfilled dreams.
He and his wife also own thePink Elephant on Government
Street.
Through his transformative manCamp Retreat series, he's helped
grouchy dads become more of apositive and present force in
their families.
Through his unique three-stepprocess, outlined in what's On
your Backburner, albert ishelping countless individuals
rediscover their passions andmove forward with renewed
purpose.
(00:53):
In this episode, we'll delveinto that process, exploring how
to identify the obstaclesholding us back and reignite the
fire within.
If you're ready to dust offthose dormant dreams and tap
into something powerful, thenstay tuned.
As always, we're here to bringyou the best of Zachary in the
Baton Rouge area throughengaging conversations every
Monday from our Virginia Streetheadquarters.
(01:13):
This is Portion Parish thepodcast.
Stay tuned because the lightningis coming up.
Looking for a family outing offthe beaten pathot over to
breck's far park equestriancenter for a unique experience?
Far park offers guided trailrides throughout the fall.
Starting on september 22nd, youand the family can enjoy the
(01:35):
fresh air, beautiful scenery andquality time with loved ones
perfect for all ages.
Follow the link to sign up.
Spots are limited, okay, andwe're back with the lightning
round.
Um, albert, because I know you,I've I've crafted some of these
questions specifically for you.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So first, please tell us about your unique
anniversary gift exchangetradition well, my wife and I
were coming up on 35 years ofmarriage.
So you know, when you've beenmarried that long, it gets tough
to, you know, even think of aanniversary gift.
So usually about a month inadvance, my wife will say, hey,
what do you want for youranniversary?
And I'll say you know, I reallydon't need anything, I don't
(02:18):
want anything, you don't have toget me anything.
And she'll say, okay, so we're,we're just going to agree not
to get either of us a visit, youknow?
And um, that goes about tillthree days before.
And then she checks in with meuh, hey, I just wanted to check
and make sure you didn't get meanything, did you?
And I said, are you kidding?
Of course I got you something.
(02:38):
You know, I'm not going to showup on our anniversary with no
gift in hannah, you know you mayhave made that deal, but I know
it's not a deal that you reallywanted to.
So then she goes into acomplete panic.
I joke with her that I reallyhadn't gotten anything yet.
And usually what we end updoing is deciding to go in on
something together.
So it'll be like, hey, you wantto go somewhere, I'll buy the
(03:01):
plane tickets, you pay for thehotel.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, you're not going to mention the taxidermy
thing uh, you know she's kind ofover that oh okay, that was
last time I checked in.
Well, can you you know?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
early on she was into , yeah, taxidermy, being an
antique store owner, yeah, andit was easy.
You know, I could just seesomething really crazy like a
zebra or a fox or a bobcat anduh, but at some point she was
over it and then she becameimpossible to buy for?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, I went to your house for a New Year's party and
then you had like a baboon onthe wall and like a giraffe and
all this and I know you're notlike a big game hunter.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Everybody who came over in those days did think
that we were big game hunters.
We didn't shoot a single thing.
No, I love animals, loveanimals.
I wouldn't.
I just wouldn't do it and uhbut they were just old.
Uh, you know, vintage taxidermythat people were collecting.
Usually, you know, that's thekind of piece that a husband has
and, uh, then the wife saysthis has got to go and they
(03:58):
would end up at my house allright, I love that.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I love that.
I've I've, uh, offered thatdeal to many hunters, so so I've
got like ducks, all kinds offun things.
So, um, all right.
Next people call you sir, luncha lot.
What is your favorite diner andwhy didn't we just do the
podcast there today?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Probably cause it's too noisy, but uh, I would say
in the city it's really probablyhas to be Zeeland street market
.
Yeah, Love that on Perkinskinsroad um what's your favorite
dish there uh, really, I likethe pecan smoked brisket with um
cornbread dressing and gravygotcha, it's old school, yeah,
but I've had it.
I love that place.
You know the menu rotates, soyou can always get something
(04:36):
different yeah, uh, do you likelouie's?
I do like louie's.
I love the burger I do too.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
That's.
That's all I get.
I've ordered the same thing for20 years.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I just get the big cheesy lou there was a time, uh,
in my early career I was in thepublishing business and we
worked out of that kinko's rightthere on state street, yeah,
and we would stay all night.
It was 24 hours.
Louie's was 24 hours and I atea lot of those burgers at 4 am.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I can tell you yeah, yeah, there was just an.
It was a little bit moreauthentic back then when it was
just 24 hours, because you knowthat the grease would never come
off the floor you know it was aperfect little place.
Yeah, I'm sad now it's onlyopen in the mornings I know, I
know, but still I bring my kidsthere and I screenshot all the
old college friends and just saylook, you know my kid's six
(05:23):
years old.
Here we are at Louie's and yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I only feel good for the owner that he doesn't have
to run that thing 24 seven.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I know he's happier.
Oh, that's impossible.
All right, please give a bigshout out to the family and pets
.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Okay, hello, wife and kids, and the only person that
has a pet is my oldest daughter,who doesn't live with us
anymore because everyone elsewas allergic.
So she's got a little poodlenamed Pepper, and we do love
that dog.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Great man.
All right, let's get into someof the content today.
So you know, we saw that youwrote your classic hit here.
What's on your Back, Burner,Using Dormant Desire to Relight
your Fire, and just had to haveyou on.
So thank you for doing this andcongrats.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Thank you so much.
It's been, it's been a funjourney, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So, speaking of journeys, take us through the
journey to personal authenticity.
Let's just jump right in andshed light on your passion for
helping others.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Well, I think it's when, if anybody, gets to the
point where you're askingyourself is this all there is?
Maybe some people might callthat a midlife crisis, but if
you come to the point in yourlife where it's get up, work,
pay bills, come home, makedinner, go to sleep, get up, and
you just feel it's just overand over the same thing, yeah,
(06:44):
At some point you're you aregoing to ask yourself is this
all there is?
And I did get to that point.
It was um, I was 48 at the timeand I felt like I had
accomplished, you know, most ofwhat I thought I would do in
life.
And I just wondered uh, youknow I I don't feel fulfilled,
I'm not enjoying it that much.
You know, I don't feelfulfilled, I'm not enjoying it
that much.
(07:04):
And at some point everythingthat was going well took a turn
for the worse and that kind ofmade me ask the question okay,
I'm pretty sure I can put someeffort back into it and get it
to where it was before it took adownturn.
It was a little bit of aprobably a economic downturn at
the time that just made mybusinesses take a turn for the
(07:26):
worst, and I thought to myselfwell, if I do that, I'm only
going to go back to where I was,which was still wondering is
there something else besidesjust survival?
And so it led me to ask thequestion you know, what is it
that makes a person happy?
And so that's where the journeystarted was trying to
(07:47):
investigate what is the secretto really feeling fulfilled and
being happy.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I think that's a perfect question.
I mean, what else is thereright?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, but you know it's, it's.
It's a hard one to solve.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I mean the short answer to it, Mike, was you
really do have to do work that'smeaningful, and I think that is
the problem right.
Most people you're doing,whatever job you happen to fall
into and whatever industry orcareer that just you know
presented itself to you yeah,probably.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Most people.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Some people know what they want to do from the time
they're in first grade, but youknow, I was never one of those
people.
But they want to do from thetime they're in first grade.
But you know, I was never oneof those people.
But you know, is the work thatyou're doing meaningful?
and most people say no yeah butit doesn't mean, you know, when
you're, say, at middle age oryou know even younger, I do find
people earlier and earlierasking themselves this question.
(08:42):
Usually you can't necessarilyjust shift careers because you
know you've got a mortgage,maybe you have kids in school,
you have a car, notes to pay,and so you don't have the luxury
of just like doing whatever youwant to do.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, I feel like I gave my father-in-law so so much
heartburn because I just didwhatever I wanted to do.
Jen's always been like thestable one and I'd be like, yep,
I think I'm going to go makefurniture, and he was like good
God, no.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
You know what I do.
Remember that face now that yousay it.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
That was seven years of life.
It went by in a flash.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
But you know, but you know you're an anomaly, aren't
you Somebody who will pursue?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I guess you, You're an anomaly, aren't you, of
somebody who will pursue.
I guess you know I've been,I've taken my licks, though.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Well, you know, that's how you learn, right?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I mean for doing those things.
You know, now I'm at a reallywonderful job and we do Porch
and Parish and there's meaningand stability in some of it.
I think stability might be thatword that a lot of people
struggle with.
I think stability might be thatword that a lot of people
struggle with, I know.
For me, certainly, that wasalways.
Why can't I have stability andcreativity?
Because that seems to be themix right.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
It's just hard sometimes to make a living out
of your passion.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
But if you don't have anything that you're doing,
that you're passionate about orhas a lot of meaning're probably
not gonna.
You're gonna feel likesomething's missing.
Yeah, yeah, and so I know whenI would talk about this.
You know, maybe I'm at agymnastics uh, practice.
My son was doing gymnastics,that's at the time.
And when I talked to you know,the other parents next to me,
they all seem to say the samething, so I knew it wasn't just
(10:24):
a problem, you know, for me.
But at some point I reallynailed down that you have to
pursue something that you'repassionate about, that's
fulfilling to you.
And the advice I usually givepeople you don't necessarily
have to make a living at it, sothat eliminates too many options
for people if they think, oh, Ihave to switch to this and make
(10:45):
a living so it can start as ahobby or just some kind of
initiative you've had or a goalor a dream.
And usually what I find is whenI ask people that question,
which is the title of the book,is what's on your back burner?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah, they know what it is.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I could tell you mine.
Your title is excellent becauseit does elicit well what is my
forgotten dream is kind of whatit seemed to speak to me.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
You want to share yours, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I own a goat farm, but it was always in the
mountains of North Carolina.
But now I've come to realizethat my roots are in Louisiana,
I'm staying here, but some sortof some sort of homestead with
some acreage.
So I've always just tried tolive out the back burner stuff,
Even when I'm living small.
I'm just gonna, I'll go farm upmy 0.25 acres, you know like,
(11:38):
let's do it, I mean you reallyfigured it out, but again, I'm
going to predict that you're arare bird.
Well, I have been to your mancamp.
You know that was maybe 10years ago now, Could it have
been?
I was man camp class six.
That was probably about sevenyears ago, about seven years ago
, and you heard, jen, it didchange me, yeah, a little bit
(12:00):
less grouchy when I came home.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, well, that's the secret you know it's because
if I can turn people on intothe direction of doing something
that means something to them,it does make everything else a
little more.
You know, easy to deal with.
Yeah, it's easier to go to workin a job Maybe you don't love
if you also have something goingon that you're pursuing,
something that you've alwayswanted to pursue.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, yeah, well, um, so the the this book strives to
solve a central issue that mostare struggling with.
These dreams that we hold onto,that are all but buried alive,
and I'll use some of your words.
You describe them as having afaint heartbeat, and a part of
you knows resuscitation ispossible.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Um and look, that comes from the fact that if I
ask you the question, what's?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I'm crazy, just mentioning this, but for me,
when I when we moved from ourvery stable subdivision into
(13:10):
this massive project, uh, thisreal estate.
You know what would you callthis?
We're in 120 year old Victorianright.
It's just an adventure, that'sall it is.
I, um, I noticed I was, I waslike doing a lot of farming in
this subdivision, in my backyard, and people were like, why, why
are you, why do you live here,what are you doing?
(13:31):
And I said, um, there wassomething inside of me, like
when I was a kid, there wasnothing that made me happier on
planet earth than finding a boxturtle.
And that's where it all started.
I just started finding boxturtles again and keeping those,
and then I was like you knowwhat?
Now it's going to be rabbits,now it's going to be some
turkeys, and then we're going toadd more.
And that box turtle was like myswing key Whenever.
(13:54):
I would think am I on the righttrack or not?
Does it make me happier thanthat?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, is that weird?
No, it's not weird at all.
Again, I think you're totallyunique because most people just
I don't think they really pursueit.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah but that was a back burner item.
Yeah, what about you?
Do you want to talk about yours?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Well, the one that really got me going is at first,
I just wanted to share what Iwas learning on my own journey.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I was in a serious self-help book, phase of my life
where I was just reading bookafter book.
We met in Toastmasters and Ithink I've met you during this
phase.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
During that time.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
And you know I just wanted to.
There's so many good nuggets inthese books, yeah, that I
wanted to share.
I just texted a friend of mineone morning something you know a
one-liner and he said can yousend me one of these every day,
okay?
And I thought, well, I mean I'mreading every day, at least at
this point.
And so, yeah, I'm going to sendyou one a day, okay.
(14:55):
And then, as I met other peopleand they found out about it,
that list grew until everymorning I was sending it to
about 200 people.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And um, and then I said, well, how could I really
sort of share what I'm learningwith more people?
That's probably why I went toToastmasters to get into public
speaking, which led to theNational Speakers Association,
which led to a group of peoplewho were really trying to figure
out a way to do it for a living.
And then, once I was there,it's like, okay, what is it that
(15:29):
I really want to share?
And eventually I had gone to abreakout session and one of the
women there was showing you howto do retreats, and so I said
this is really the format for me, because what I really want to
share, it can't be done in a 45minute keynote necessarily.
(15:49):
Yeah, and I want to spend moretime with the person to give
them the, the background, laythe groundwork to really
understand what it is that cancan change their life yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
What I like about you is that I think if you're
running the speaker circuit,you're you're telling, but your
retreats are listening and it'sjust a big difference, you know
know, it's just.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I want to deliver a transformative experience.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, so the book essentially is just the process
we were going through at theretreat to achieve the
transformation.
Now it's a little bit differentthan the one you came to seven
years ago.
You know it was refined andevolved over the years.
But eventually we just came upwith sort of a cocktail of
exercises that if you did themin sequence you could really
(16:34):
just walk out the other end andjust know something about
yourself that you didn't knowbefore.
Yeah and uh, when we left oneof the retreats, one of the guys
said you know, albert, this,this is your book.
And I said what do you mean?
He said what we just did is abook.
And I went home and I thoughtabout it and I said yes, he's
right.
And then I wondered cansomebody take themselves through
(16:58):
this process on their own?
And so really it was anexperiment and so I wrote the
book.
I started giving the manuscriptto advanced readers just to see
hey, can you follow thesedirections?
It's simple, but withoutsomeone explaining the context.
Sometimes it's like I wascurious if people could do it on
their own, and when I wouldmeet with whoever read it, and
(17:22):
when they told me what happenedto them, I said, oh man, I like
I've got to get this out becauseit will work, you know, for an
individual.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I like it, um, even more because I know you and the
author's voice.
And then it's funny.
That's like one of your bigcharacters.
The first time I met you youwere at Toastmasters telling a
story about when you're in thefrat and driving the bus
somewhere.
I just uh, you had the wholeaudience rolling and you know
you're winning the bestToastmaster of the Day award and
(17:55):
all this, but it's funny.
So the three steps from whatI'm gleaning is knots, correct,
Character mining and goldendialogue.
Yeah, Do you want to kind ofjust touch on those real quick,
or is it too much to go into?
Well, it's.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You know, of course I can't explain the whole thing,
but let me just go to thefundamental first part of the
first exercise, you know.
So you know, Mike again, you'reunique.
You think of something crazygoat farming, turtle raising,
having gardens in your suburbanbackyard.
A lot of people just putanything that they're interested
(18:34):
like that they do, put it onthe back burner and they don't
take any action, I find,typically because in their mind
it's not big enough, it's notglobal enough in scale, it won't
make a living for them.
They don't have the time or themoney.
They have this long list ofwhat I call just practical
reasons why they can't do it,either now or, you know, maybe
(18:59):
ever.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
And they think that's the reason they're not doing it
.
So the first phase of the bookI call it not therapy and you
have these little knots thatneed to be untangled and need to
be unraveled, and the essenceof the knot is it's just
something that you don't realize.
You're thinking about your goalor your project, your
(19:23):
initiative.
You just don't realizeconsciously that there's another
reason that you're not doing it, and so the first step is for
me to help someone reveal thatto themselves.
What is it really that's keepingme from doing it that they're
(19:45):
unconscious of, and it happensin 10 minutes.
You want to go through a littlething?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah, sure, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
So the goat farm in.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Gotcha, let's do it.
Yeah, where was it?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
going to be West Virginia.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
There was just this perfect goat farm that belonged
to poet Carl Sandburg inHendersonville, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Okay, North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, but I never figured out where it could be,
because goats don't like to beon wet ground.
They don't, they don't.
You know, you'd have to have ahigh piece of ground in
louisiana to even do this okay,so it needs to be dry okay so.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
So that's like a practical yeah you know reason
that you might not do it, okay.
So here's what I want you to Iwant you to close your eyes and
I want you to imagine thatyou're actually doing it.
You have the goat form.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
All right, yeah.
What I want to know is, nowthat you're doing it you know
it's already done.
You don't have to figure outanymore how you did it or what
needed to be done to get there.
Yeah, you're running it Right.
Okay, it's.
What do you not like about it?
Now, now that you're doing it,what is, what are the things
that bother you about this newreality that you've created?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
oh, that's weird, okay.
Um, well, I might not be closeto rouses, okay, so yeah, that's
that's right.
Um, it's inconvenient and andyeah, okay, what else, you know,
um, I may not have a lot ofhelp because my kids are busy
(21:22):
and my wife doesn't like goatsor need anything that they
produce, or like.
Nobody wants to drink goat milk, or I.
I don't want to be, uh, I don'twant to have to sell goat milk
or goat meat, okay so.
So why am I doing it?
Right why are we even doingthis?
Speaker 1 (21:42):
okay, so it's a zoo.
Yeah, okay, so this is perfect.
Yeah, okay, here we are inthree minutes, right, right, you
, you've started a list ofreasons that you really don't
want to do it.
They would just be pets.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
If we sat here for 15 minutes, you could come up with
a list of 20 reasons not to doit that you weren't aware of
when you told me.
Yeah, how happy and excited youwere when you told me about you
know this thing that you mightwant to do right one day.
Yeah, okay.
So that's the problem.
Okay, the back burner idea orgoal that everyone has.
(22:20):
It's kind of romanticized alittle bit yeah yeah, and when I
get them to sort of projectinto the future where, whatever
their dream has happened, theyliterally can come up with a
list of 100 reasons why theywouldn't like it.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Oh my gosh yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Okay, so now you don't consciously realize that
you have this list.
Yeah, you just think well, it'sbecause you know my family's in
Louisiana and I can't move tohigher ground.
Or you know things like thatRight right.
You know, I don't have themoney or I don't have the time.
The practical reasons is whatyou think is the reason why
you're not doing it.
The real reason you're notdoing it is because there's this
(23:01):
other, hidden aspect ofyourself that doesn't want to do
it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Got it, and so do you have to do battle with that and
then do it anyway, or do youjust need to figure out if you
really want to do it?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Well, here's the thing you probably do want to do
it on some level Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I just want to smell the smells of a barn.
Yeah, but you know it's totallyromanticized.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
But this sort of subversive character that
doesn't want it to happen.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
It is part of you, but it's a part of you that
you're not aware of, and theyhave a personality too.
You know this other part ofyourself, and it knows you
better than you know yourself,and since it's sort of hidden
from you, it's always going towin, Got it.
You can't outsmart, you can'toutwill, you can't push, you
(23:53):
know overpower this other partof yourself that doesn't want to
do it.
It's impossible.
So anyone who's ever had a goalthat they didn't achieve, I
swear to you, if you give themto me for 30 minutes, I can help
them discover.
Okay, here's the real reasonyou didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, I used to have a goal of when I was in real
estate make 15 million dollars.
15 because it had to bespecific, it had to be an odd
number, all the stupid stuff.
But I never ended up making 15million dollars.
And I was like, well, I'm sureI'm trying hard, but even if I
could sell that much it wouldhave been nice, but um, it
(24:32):
always.
I think I recognized theinauthentic, inauthentic
elements in that.
Quicker than something like agoat farm, you would have even
more around that, yeah, therewould be other things that would
come up.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah, when, if we did that, yeah, and it points to
you've heard the expressionwe're our own worst enemy, okay.
What we don't realize whenwe're saying that is the enemy,
is really this sort ofunconscious aspect of ourselves
that has already decided theydon't want it to happen.
It's not going to happen, okay,and so essentially, what you
(25:06):
have is an inner conflict thatyou're not aware of, your inner
change manager it's just like um, you know there's, there are a
lot of reasons not to do it.
Yeah, but you're not consciousof them, yeah, so a lot of
people will go through theirentire lives not really
realizing why they didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And they just feel like failures.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, they feel like failures.
Or oh, it just wasn't in thecards for me.
Or if I only, you know had abig inheritance, or if I was
wealthy like somebody else, orif I only lived some.
You know it's just a lot ofexcuses and, you know, to me
it's the biggest tragedy becauseI know what's really going on
is they just need to.
(25:45):
You know, discover, you know,reveal these knots and they're
really like slip knots.
They're so easy to reallyuntangle and untie.
Now I will tell people thisBefore they come do work with me
, come to a workshop orsomething I do online Zoom
workshops and things like that.
I said I hope you really dowant to do it, Because if you do
(26:07):
this process, you're going tofind yourself on the way to
doing it, which can be scary.
I talk about it, I dream aboutit, but now I'm really, you know
, on my way, because whathappens is when you untie the
knots, you just find yourselfleaning into it and doing things
you know sending emails, makingphone calls.
It starts to just happen.
(26:28):
Weird, it's crazy yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
What's on your back burner?
Oh, that's scary.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
So you got to go unearth all of the things that
you you set aside and you can doit in a week, yeah, and usually
I encourage people to do itwith someone else, because you
start to realize, oh, wow, it'snot just me and um, so part of
the phase one, the not therapyis what I call it, and you know,
I say not therapy with a kbecause it's not therapy, but
(26:55):
it's, you know, it's justextremely therapeutic.
Yeah, and when two people do ittogether and you, you read your
your list to the other personand then they read theirs to you
, both people are just shakingtheir head like, oh, I can't
believe.
This is really what's at playhere.
Yeah, but it's true.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Wow, it's.
It's creating a dialecticbetween the, the shadow self,
like you described right, andthen the, the, the guy that
shows up that you think isliving your day, and so then you
get truth out of it right?
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
It's your.
It's your.
It's really just expanding your, your conscious mind to things
that you believe, that you'redon't realize, you still believe
.
And the thing that was reallyso shocking to me is, you know,
the first time this startedhappening was when I did try to
get into real estate and I wasdoing a Tony Robbins course.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
This is dangerous to combine Tony Robbins and real
estate.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, well, you know, and what I realized was when I
was a young boy, my dad told mea story.
He was a bartender in theFrench Quarter.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
And we would go stay at his house on the weekends.
My parents were divorced and hewould come home late.
We got to stay up late.
That was a good part.
But he would say, oh man, therewas all these rich guys in my
bar tonight and they own hotelsand they were rubbing elbows
with the politicians because,like, that's how you make money,
you have to be connected and dothese insider deals, he said.
(28:18):
But you know the real reasonthey're in my bar on a friday
night, it's because their wivesand kids can't stand them.
Yeah, and they would rather behere than home.
Yeah, now, I heard that as a 10year old boy and I didn't
really totally understand whathe was saying.
But yeah, it registered in thatif you wanted to, you know,
earn your 15 million, like youreferred to right.
(28:40):
That, in my mind, you'd have tobe in a bar on a Friday night,
you know, rubbing elbows withpoliticians, which is not
something that would appeal tome.
And so I had this innerconflict that, on one hand, I
wanted to get into real estateand, you know, become wealthy,
but on the other hand, thehidden aspect of myself believed
that if I did that, I wouldbecome estranged from my wife
(29:02):
and children.
Yeah, scary, okay.
So, in other words, there's noway I would have taken the steps
I needed to take, as long as Ibelieve that on some level, but
didn't even know I believed it.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yeah, I can empathize completely with that.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Okay, now, as soon as I, as soon as I resolved that
and you know, kind of updatedthat belief, I jumped in in
January of 2000 and you know itwas, it was crazy, and four
months I had 10 apartment unitsand and then I really went crazy
after that.
You know, before, before I knewit, I had 10 apartment units
and then I really went crazy.
After that, before I knew it, Ihad like 60-something apartment
(29:39):
units in a very short time.
But it wasn't going to happenuntil I came to the truth of
resolving this inner conflict.
So this is really the thingthat I would want people to take
away.
If you're not doing pursuingyour goals, the only real reason
is you have an inner conflictthat you're not aware of yet.
(30:01):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
And that for some people that conflict can be
whether the desire is authenticor not.
Right, like for me.
It goes way deep down, kind oflike for you, like money, bad
Money makes things bad.
I don't know why it would, butit does.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
So you know, here's the thing about each knot.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
It actually comes from a lesson you learned while
growing up.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Part of the process can be.
If you really want to go deepinto it, you can track down
every single knot and find outwho said it to you, where you
learned it.
You can remember when Okay, Oneof the guys that we spoke of
earlier who had done the retreathe said when we were doing this
, he goes.
I can't believe this.
Every one of mine came fromfifth grade.
(30:53):
Yeah, Now, this was a man inhis 60s.
Wow, yeah, Realizing thateverything that was holding him
back was lessons he learned as afifth grader.
Wow, and look, it was the samefor me when I was doing this
work, you know, in my fifties, Iwas just constantly dumbfounded
.
I just couldn't believe, Ididn't want to believe that as a
, as a grown man, that that thethings that were sort of um, you
(31:19):
know, I don't want to saycontrolling my life, but, but
certainly, you know, making mehave to maneuver around it it
was just stuff that came mostlyfrom childhood.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
And and just, it was still there in my fifties, okay.
So think about this.
I mean, you know, when do youever go back and dig it, dig all
that up?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
yeah, you know, probably never amazing that's
just one of these, I mean, andso, look, that's the one that's
probably the most important tounderstand.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
The the next phase really is just to identify the
characters.
You know they have a certainvoice and so you know you talked
a little bit about kind of themoney consciousness voice.
You know money is bad.
Okay, that character probablyshows up in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, you know, in your life talked about my, the
practical father-in-law voice.
What the hell are you doing?
You know, so you can.
My dad's voice, like all ofthem, yeah, yeah, they're all,
they all become like like apersonality.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, and so what we do?
The second part of the processis to kind of identify those
characters and sort of learnwhat they're all about and where
they came from.
Yeah, you know, like, what'stheir history, when were they
born?
You know why did they come out.
So then, once you know thecharacter, then the final phase,
phase three, is to resolve your, your inner conflict with these
(32:35):
characters.
Now, if you don't resolve them,they're going to work against
you in the in secret and youwon't know exactly why.
You know you're doing somethingor not doing something.
When you bring them into thelight, you identify the
character.
Then you have a conversationwith them.
So the third phase is goldendialogue, where you really talk
(32:56):
to them like they're a differentpersonality, and it can be done
in a journal form and live inperson.
We do it with chairs andsomebody gets up and sits down
in a chair and talks to theirpartner.
And it sounds crazy.
When I'm giving theinstructions, people are kind of
wrinkling their nose and sayingcome on, man, really.
But when you watch somebody doit and talk to an inner
(33:19):
character, you know you have noidea what they're going to say.
That's hilarious, you reallyhave no idea.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
And when people start to see it, when you witness it,
you really realize like, oh myGod, this is crazy because that
personality has its own whole,whatever reason for being yeah
that, that you're kind of liketaking something out of
toastmasters there as well, likethis big speaking exercise of
you're gonna talk to your innerself, yeah, on each side of the
(33:47):
table, in front of everyone yeah, not, look, that's the part
that takes.
You know a little bit of courage, like if you're gonna have wind
, wind Once somebody gets intoit, though they forget anyone's
in the room.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
And they just roll with it.
And it's just so fascinating tohear an inner aspect of
yourself talk back to you andtell you what they're thinking
and why they do what they do.
Yeah, and so the way that weresolve these characters is
these characters, on some level,want the same things you want.
(34:18):
They just have a different wayof going about getting them and
usually it's unhelpful from sortof like the person you are
today.
Yeah, and so you make a dealwith your character.
You find out what their needsare, what they want, and and
this may sound like you knowyou're schizophrenic, right,
(34:41):
it's really.
You know, maybe on some level,you know, you always do have
different personalities inside,but you can make a deal with
your character once youunderstand what's their
motivation and what they want.
And so what happens is thisforce that's working against you
all your life.
Up to this point, from the youknow, when it was, uh, the
inception of this character,till now, they've been working
(35:02):
against you.
As soon as you make a deal withthem, now, all of a sudden, all
of that um energy, they becomeyour ally yeah, so it goes from
adversary to ally.
Yeah, and now, as strong as theyare and as much as they know
about you, they're on your sideand this is why I say things
(35:23):
start happening, because you'reno longer working against
yourself.
This is cool.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Okay, well, I have a burning question to ask you.
Go ahead.
So you know, look, we're inLouisiana.
In the South A lot of peoplehave religious upbringings and
you know there's a godlike voicethat guides people right when
you're on that path.
Can that be mistaken for acharacter?
(35:50):
Can you build that character inand actually be working in
opposition to that voice?
And it may be inauthentic?
That's a really kind of deepand tricky question.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Here's the thing.
So, okay, if you're a religiousperson, you believe in God,
which I do.
Yeah, right, what does God wantfor you?
They want you to be whole,don't they?
They want you to have self-love.
Would anyone's God want them tobe anything other than totally
accepting of themselves, theirtrue nature?
(36:23):
Yeah, Okay, all this is istaking a part of yourself that
you've judged as wrong at somepoint and decided that they
don't need to be in your life,yeah, and tried to suppress it
and push it down into the, tothe subconscious mind.
And they're trying to operateand be good people and be
(36:45):
authentic and bring the fullforce of their being, but yet
they've judged themselves in somany aspects as being wrong that
they're really just operatingon partial capacity and and on
some level, they don't fullylove and accept themselves, you
know, as as the way they are, soI I feel like it's definitely
(37:07):
in line with what god would wantfrom you.
Know, for you is to acceptyourself fully.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah, I guess the question was also asking can we
also accidentally build up thewrong voice for God inside?
That's kind of saying somethingcounter to what may you know.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
I think you can hear the difference, I guess, is the
bottom line you know thesecharacters.
It is really just you and it'sjust a programmed belief.
That is not true.
Yeah, it's just something thatyou believed or came to believe.
Maybe someone told you you know,a parent, a teacher, a
(37:52):
grandparent, a friend, and atwhatever age you were, as you're
trying to learn about what theworld's all about, you sort of
adopted a belief that served youat the time, that doesn't serve
your growth any longer, but yetit's never been refuted in any
way, and so now it's holding youback, the calling the back
(38:18):
burner idea and goal.
I think that's the drivingforce of God letting you know
that this has always been there,that this desire has always
been there, that this issomething you should pursue,
because normally that desireI've never come across where
it's anything harmful.
It's always something that'seither helpful to someone else
(38:40):
or some way you want to serve,or just something you want to do
that creates joy for yourselfor your family, your kids or
neighbors, and you're holdingyourself back from that, from
these beliefs that are just notrelevant anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
It may have actually been the religion teacher or the
pastor's voice, or something.
I mean not a God force.
Yeah, it could.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
It's just something that no longer serves the
calling.
Yeah, you know, when I say backburner, ultimately it's your
calling Gotcha Gotcha, and thatis a different voice.
I don't think you know we'retalking about.
You know, getting up andhearing it, one of your
characters is is probably notgod in that sense where you know
(39:26):
they're going to say.
I think the the god voice forme is it's just more of a
knowing.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yeah, it's not really words, it's usually just like
it's not Morgan Freeman, it'slike you just know.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
You just know what to do.
Yeah, you know what it'stelling you.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Without words, right, right, and that drives.
So I think this really getsyourself out of the way of your
own destiny.
Yeah, and you know, I hate tosay, not everyone's going to do
it in their lifetime, and to methat's, you know, a tragedy.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
What about people who are in trouble, Like if they're
sick or, you know, financialduress, anything like that?
I mean, do you have anything tosay to them today?
You know if, for instance,there's somebody that wanted to
be a pro golfer but they got aleg amputated?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
or something.
Well, I think there's always away for you to take whatever
your life experience was and anddo something positive with it.
You know, um it's like the oldadage of the mess is the message
interesting.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Have you heard?
You heard that before Never.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
It's where you take your struggles and your
challenges and then you can usethat to to advise some someone.
I will say from a practicalsense when my, my mother-in-law
she's she's no longer with us,but when she was in her final
years she had a hospice nurse,and so I would get into a
conversation with her and andshe said really, my clients fall
(40:57):
into two categories.
One is at the end of the life.
They really realize that theydid the things they pursued, the
things they wanted to pursue,and they led a good life.
And she says and the other halfget to the point where they
realize they didn't do thethings they wanted to do and
they're bitter yeah because whathappened was, by the time they
(41:20):
really started bringing it up tothe you know a priority, they
no longer had either theresources of the physical
capacity to do it yeah and so itwas like really kind of a stark
warning there, you know,there's two forks you can take.
You're going to either live alife of bitterness and regret at
the end for not doing it, oryou get to it early enough that
(41:44):
you just do the things thatyou're called to do.
Yeah, and so I feel like I'mhelping get the message out or
at least give people a frameworkwhere they can get over
something that's in their waythat they're not aware of.
Yeah, to not end up one of thepeople with regret.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
There's a sense of urgency to it there is why I
like gary vaynerchuk so much,because he's like look peak in
your 60s.
Um, you know, there's stilltime.
If you're sitting herelistening to this today and
you're 40, you still have theworld by the tail and you're
just healthy.
And you, I mean, come on umyeah, plenty of time yeah yeah,
(42:21):
well, call it there and letpeople know where to get the
book and where to find you.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
So it's on amazon and you can I got my copy yeah,
it's what's on your back burner.
uh, if you want shortcut, youcan go to backburnerbookcom and
that'll take you to my webpage,which has a link to the book.
It also has the worksheets thatyou'll need to sort of do that
little exercise you and I did oflike, hey, what don't you like
about this idea, now that you'vedone this goal that you've
(42:49):
thought about?
And then there's otherresources in there too, as my
next online workshops and thingslike that.
If you, if you don't want to doit on your own, I'm always
happy to to to guide peoplethrough it in small groups on.
Zoom and just help them get over.
It's just some of thetrepidation of like digging it
(43:10):
it's.
It is fun.
I think most people have funwhen they do it and you
definitely learn something aboutyourself that you didn't know,
are you still doing the man campretreats?
I didn't do one in 2024.
But I am part of the reason ofdoing the book is to find a
bigger platform so I can attractmore people to do retreats.
(43:30):
So, I like the workshops, I likegoing and speaking to groups
and, yeah, I definitely want tokeep doing the retreats Awesome.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Well, it was a gift to have you up here today in
Zachary, just 30 minutes northof where you are in the hip zip.
But, Albert, thank you so muchfor being here.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Thanks, mike.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Yeah, I can't, wait to read your next book too.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
All right, I'm going to have to start working on it.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Yeah, that's it for this week's episode of Porch and
Parish.
Be sure to catch us on localnewsstands or online at
porchandparishcom.
Huge thanks to AlbertPalaszczuk for sharing his gifts
with our community and forfinally inking that bestseller,
and to all of our sponsors, whomake this content possible and
free.
Don't forget to support them,and don't forget to support them
, and we'll catch you next weekwith another inspiring
(44:15):
conversation.
Thank you.
Hey, Baton Rouge, this is Albert Pelletier.
Keep listening to Porch andParish the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Ever had a dream that you just couldn't seem to get
off the ground, a passion thatfizzled out, leaving behind a
trail of what-ifs?
Life has a way of sideliningour desires, but what if you
could reignite that spark?
Today we're joined by AlbertPelletier, a man I've known for
years and whose insights havehad a profound impact on my own
life.
Albert's not just amotivational speaker.
He's a guide, helping peoplenavigate the tricky terrain of
(00:33):
unfulfilled dreams.
He and his wife also own thePink Elephant on Government
Street.
Through his transformative manCamp Retreat series, he's helped
grouchy dads become more of apositive and present force in
their families.
Through his unique three-stepprocess, outlined in what's On
your Backburner, albert ishelping countless individuals
rediscover their passions andmove forward with renewed
purpose.
(00:53):
In this episode, we'll delveinto that process, exploring how
to identify the obstaclesholding us back and reignite the
fire within.
If you're ready to dust offthose dormant dreams and tap
into something powerful, thenstay tuned.
As always, we're here to bringyou the best of Zachary in the
Baton Rouge area throughengaging conversations every
Monday from our Virginia Streetheadquarters.
(01:13):
This is Portion Parish thepodcast.
Stay tuned because the lightningis coming up.
Looking for a family outing offthe beaten pathot over to
breck's far park equestriancenter for a unique experience?
Far park offers guided trailrides throughout the fall.
Starting on september 22nd, youand the family can enjoy the
(01:35):
fresh air, beautiful scenery andquality time with loved ones
perfect for all ages.
Follow the link to sign up.
Spots are limited, okay, andwe're back with the lightning
round.
Um, albert, because I know you,I've I've crafted some of these
questions specifically for you.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
So first, please tell us about your unique
anniversary gift exchangetradition well, my wife and I
were coming up on 35 years ofmarriage.
So you know, when you've beenmarried that long, it gets tough
to, you know, even think of aanniversary gift.
So usually about a month inadvance, my wife will say, hey,
what do you want for youranniversary?
And I'll say you know, I reallydon't need anything, I don't
(02:18):
want anything, you don't have toget me anything.
And she'll say, okay, so we're,we're just going to agree not
to get either of us a visit, youknow?
And um, that goes about tillthree days before.
And then she checks in with meuh, hey, I just wanted to check
and make sure you didn't get meanything, did you?
And I said, are you kidding?
Of course I got you something.
(02:38):
You know, I'm not going to showup on our anniversary with no
gift in hannah, you know you mayhave made that deal, but I know
it's not a deal that you reallywanted to.
So then she goes into acomplete panic.
I joke with her that I reallyhadn't gotten anything yet.
And usually what we end updoing is deciding to go in on
something together.
So it'll be like, hey, you wantto go somewhere, I'll buy the
(03:01):
plane tickets, you pay for thehotel.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
Yeah, you're not going to mention the taxidermy
thing uh, you know she's kind ofover that oh okay, that was
last time I checked in.
Well, can you you know?
Speaker 1 (03:13):
early on she was into , yeah, taxidermy, being an
antique store owner, yeah, andit was easy.
You know, I could just seesomething really crazy like a
zebra or a fox or a bobcat anduh, but at some point she was
over it and then she becameimpossible to buy for?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Well, I went to your house for a New Year's party and
then you had like a baboon onthe wall and like a giraffe and
all this and I know you're notlike a big game hunter.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Everybody who came over in those days did think
that we were big game hunters.
We didn't shoot a single thing.
No, I love animals, loveanimals.
I wouldn't.
I just wouldn't do it and uhbut they were just old.
Uh, you know, vintage taxidermythat people were collecting.
Usually, you know, that's thekind of piece that a husband has
and, uh, then the wife saysthis has got to go and they
(03:58):
would end up at my house allright, I love that.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
I love that.
I've I've, uh, offered thatdeal to many hunters, so so I've
got like ducks, all kinds offun things.
So, um, all right.
Next people call you sir, luncha lot.
What is your favorite diner andwhy didn't we just do the
podcast there today?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Probably cause it's too noisy, but uh, I would say
in the city it's really probablyhas to be Zeeland street market
.
Yeah, Love that on Perkinskinsroad um what's your favorite
dish there uh, really, I likethe pecan smoked brisket with um
cornbread dressing and gravygotcha, it's old school, yeah,
but I've had it.
I love that place.
You know the menu rotates, soyou can always get something
(04:36):
different yeah, uh, do you likelouie's?
I do like louie's.
I love the burger I do too.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
That's.
That's all I get.
I've ordered the same thing for20 years.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
I just get the big cheesy lou there was a time, uh,
in my early career I was in thepublishing business and we
worked out of that kinko's rightthere on state street, yeah,
and we would stay all night.
It was 24 hours.
Louie's was 24 hours and I atea lot of those burgers at 4 am.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
I can tell you yeah, yeah, there was just an.
It was a little bit moreauthentic back then when it was
just 24 hours, because you knowthat the grease would never come
off the floor you know it was aperfect little place.
Yeah, I'm sad now it's onlyopen in the mornings I know, I
know, but still I bring my kidsthere and I screenshot all the
old college friends and just saylook, you know my kid's six
(05:23):
years old.
Here we are at Louie's and yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I only feel good for the owner that he doesn't have
to run that thing 24 seven.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I know he's happier.
Oh, that's impossible.
All right, please give a bigshout out to the family and pets
.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Okay, hello, wife and kids, and the only person that
has a pet is my oldest daughter,who doesn't live with us
anymore because everyone elsewas allergic.
So she's got a little poodlenamed Pepper, and we do love
that dog.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Great man.
All right, let's get into someof the content today.
So you know, we saw that youwrote your classic hit here.
What's on your Back, Burner,Using Dormant Desire to Relight
your Fire, and just had to haveyou on.
So thank you for doing this andcongrats.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Thank you so much.
It's been, it's been a funjourney, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So, speaking of journeys, take us through the
journey to personal authenticity.
Let's just jump right in andshed light on your passion for
helping others.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Well, I think it's when, if anybody, gets to the
point where you're askingyourself is this all there is?
Maybe some people might callthat a midlife crisis, but if
you come to the point in yourlife where it's get up, work,
pay bills, come home, makedinner, go to sleep, get up, and
you just feel it's just overand over the same thing, yeah,
(06:44):
At some point you're you aregoing to ask yourself is this
all there is?
And I did get to that point.
It was um, I was 48 at the timeand I felt like I had
accomplished, you know, most ofwhat I thought I would do in
life.
And I just wondered uh, youknow I I don't feel fulfilled,
I'm not enjoying it that much.
You know, I don't feelfulfilled, I'm not enjoying it
that much.
(07:04):
And at some point everythingthat was going well took a turn
for the worse and that kind ofmade me ask the question okay,
I'm pretty sure I can put someeffort back into it and get it
to where it was before it took adownturn.
It was a little bit of aprobably a economic downturn at
the time that just made mybusinesses take a turn for the
(07:26):
worst, and I thought to myselfwell, if I do that, I'm only
going to go back to where I was,which was still wondering is
there something else besidesjust survival?
And so it led me to ask thequestion you know, what is it
that makes a person happy?
And so that's where the journeystarted was trying to
(07:47):
investigate what is the secretto really feeling fulfilled and
being happy.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I think that's a perfect question.
I mean, what else is thereright?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah, but you know it's, it's.
It's a hard one to solve.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (08:01):
I mean the short answer to it, Mike, was you
really do have to do work that'smeaningful, and I think that is
the problem right.
Most people you're doing,whatever job you happen to fall
into and whatever industry orcareer that just you know
presented itself to you yeah,probably.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Most people.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Some people know what they want to do from the time
they're in first grade, but youknow, I was never one of those
people.
But they want to do from thetime they're in first grade.
But you know, I was never oneof those people.
But you know, is the work thatyou're doing meaningful?
and most people say no yeah butit doesn't mean, you know, when
you're, say, at middle age oryou know even younger, I do find
people earlier and earlierasking themselves this question.
(08:42):
Usually you can't necessarilyjust shift careers because you
know you've got a mortgage,maybe you have kids in school,
you have a car, notes to pay,and so you don't have the luxury
of just like doing whatever youwant to do.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Yeah, I feel like I gave my father-in-law so so much
heartburn because I just didwhatever I wanted to do.
Jen's always been like thestable one and I'd be like, yep,
I think I'm going to go makefurniture, and he was like good
God, no.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
You know what I do.
Remember that face now that yousay it.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
That was seven years of life.
It went by in a flash.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
But you know, but you know you're an anomaly, aren't
you Somebody who will pursue?
Speaker 2 (09:24):
I guess you, You're an anomaly, aren't you, of
somebody who will pursue.
I guess you know I've been,I've taken my licks, though.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Well, you know, that's how you learn, right?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
I mean for doing those things.
You know, now I'm at a reallywonderful job and we do Porch
and Parish and there's meaningand stability in some of it.
I think stability might be thatword that a lot of people
struggle with.
I think stability might be thatword that a lot of people
struggle with, I know.
For me, certainly, that wasalways.
Why can't I have stability andcreativity?
Because that seems to be themix right.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
It's just hard sometimes to make a living out
of your passion.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
But if you don't have anything that you're doing,
that you're passionate about orhas a lot of meaning're probably
not gonna.
You're gonna feel likesomething's missing.
Yeah, yeah, and so I know whenI would talk about this.
You know, maybe I'm at agymnastics uh, practice.
My son was doing gymnastics,that's at the time.
And when I talked to you know,the other parents next to me,
they all seem to say the samething, so I knew it wasn't just
(10:24):
a problem, you know, for me.
But at some point I reallynailed down that you have to
pursue something that you'repassionate about, that's
fulfilling to you.
And the advice I usually givepeople you don't necessarily
have to make a living at it, sothat eliminates too many options
for people if they think, oh, Ihave to switch to this and make
(10:45):
a living so it can start as ahobby or just some kind of
initiative you've had or a goalor a dream.
And usually what I find is whenI ask people that question,
which is the title of the book,is what's on your back burner?
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Yeah, they know what it is.
That's crazy.
Yeah, I could tell you mine.
Your title is excellent becauseit does elicit well what is my
forgotten dream is kind of whatit seemed to speak to me.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
You want to share yours, sure, yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
I own a goat farm, but it was always in the
mountains of North Carolina.
But now I've come to realizethat my roots are in Louisiana,
I'm staying here, but some sortof some sort of homestead with
some acreage.
So I've always just tried tolive out the back burner stuff,
Even when I'm living small.
I'm just gonna, I'll go farm upmy 0.25 acres, you know like,
(11:38):
let's do it, I mean you reallyfigured it out, but again, I'm
going to predict that you're arare bird.
Well, I have been to your mancamp.
You know that was maybe 10years ago now, Could it have
been?
I was man camp class six.
That was probably about sevenyears ago, about seven years ago
, and you heard, jen, it didchange me, yeah, a little bit
(12:00):
less grouchy when I came home.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Yeah, well, that's the secret you know it's because
if I can turn people on intothe direction of doing something
that means something to them,it does make everything else a
little more.
You know, easy to deal with.
Yeah, it's easier to go to workin a job Maybe you don't love
if you also have something goingon that you're pursuing,
something that you've alwayswanted to pursue.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
Yeah, yeah, well, um, so the the this book strives to
solve a central issue that mostare struggling with.
These dreams that we hold onto,that are all but buried alive,
and I'll use some of your words.
You describe them as having afaint heartbeat, and a part of
you knows resuscitation ispossible.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Um and look, that comes from the fact that if I
ask you the question, what's?
Speaker 2 (12:45):
I'm crazy, just mentioning this, but for me,
when I when we moved from ourvery stable subdivision into
(13:10):
this massive project, uh, thisreal estate.
You know what would you callthis?
We're in 120 year old Victorianright.
It's just an adventure, that'sall it is.
I, um, I noticed I was, I waslike doing a lot of farming in
this subdivision, in my backyard, and people were like, why, why
are you, why do you live here,what are you doing?
(13:31):
And I said, um, there wassomething inside of me, like
when I was a kid, there wasnothing that made me happier on
planet earth than finding a boxturtle.
And that's where it all started.
I just started finding boxturtles again and keeping those,
and then I was like you knowwhat?
Now it's going to be rabbits,now it's going to be some
turkeys, and then we're going toadd more.
And that box turtle was like myswing key Whenever.
(13:54):
I would think am I on the righttrack or not?
Does it make me happier thanthat?
Speaker 1 (13:59):
Yeah, is that weird?
No, it's not weird at all.
Again, I think you're totallyunique because most people just
I don't think they really pursueit.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah but that was a back burner item.
Yeah, what about you?
Do you want to talk about yours?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Well, the one that really got me going is at first,
I just wanted to share what Iwas learning on my own journey.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
I was in a serious self-help book, phase of my life
where I was just reading bookafter book.
We met in Toastmasters and Ithink I've met you during this
phase.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
During that time.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
And you know I just wanted to.
There's so many good nuggets inthese books, yeah, that I
wanted to share.
I just texted a friend of mineone morning something you know a
one-liner and he said can yousend me one of these every day,
okay?
And I thought, well, I mean I'mreading every day, at least at
this point.
And so, yeah, I'm going to sendyou one a day, okay.
(14:55):
And then, as I met other peopleand they found out about it,
that list grew until everymorning I was sending it to
about 200 people.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
And um, and then I said, well, how could I really
sort of share what I'm learningwith more people?
That's probably why I went toToastmasters to get into public
speaking, which led to theNational Speakers Association,
which led to a group of peoplewho were really trying to figure
out a way to do it for a living.
And then, once I was there,it's like, okay, what is it that
(15:29):
I really want to share?
And eventually I had gone to abreakout session and one of the
women there was showing you howto do retreats, and so I said
this is really the format for me, because what I really want to
share, it can't be done in a 45minute keynote necessarily.
(15:49):
Yeah, and I want to spend moretime with the person to give
them the, the background, laythe groundwork to really
understand what it is that cancan change their life yeah, I.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
What I like about you is that I think if you're
running the speaker circuit,you're you're telling, but your
retreats are listening and it'sjust a big difference, you know
know, it's just.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
I want to deliver a transformative experience.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah, so the book essentially is just the process
we were going through at theretreat to achieve the
transformation.
Now it's a little bit differentthan the one you came to seven
years ago.
You know it was refined andevolved over the years.
But eventually we just came upwith sort of a cocktail of
exercises that if you did themin sequence you could really
(16:34):
just walk out the other end andjust know something about
yourself that you didn't knowbefore.
Yeah and uh, when we left oneof the retreats, one of the guys
said you know, albert, this,this is your book.
And I said what do you mean?
He said what we just did is abook.
And I went home and I thoughtabout it and I said yes, he's
right.
And then I wondered cansomebody take themselves through
(16:58):
this process on their own?
And so really it was anexperiment and so I wrote the
book.
I started giving the manuscriptto advanced readers just to see
hey, can you follow thesedirections?
It's simple, but withoutsomeone explaining the context.
Sometimes it's like I wascurious if people could do it on
their own, and when I wouldmeet with whoever read it, and
(17:22):
when they told me what happenedto them, I said, oh man, I like
I've got to get this out becauseit will work, you know, for an
individual.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I like it, um, even more because I know you and the
author's voice.
And then it's funny.
That's like one of your bigcharacters.
The first time I met you youwere at Toastmasters telling a
story about when you're in thefrat and driving the bus
somewhere.
I just uh, you had the wholeaudience rolling and you know
you're winning the bestToastmaster of the Day award and
(17:55):
all this, but it's funny.
So the three steps from whatI'm gleaning is knots, correct,
Character mining and goldendialogue.
Yeah, Do you want to kind ofjust touch on those real quick,
or is it too much to go into?
Well, it's.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
You know, of course I can't explain the whole thing,
but let me just go to thefundamental first part of the
first exercise, you know.
So you know, Mike again, you'reunique.
You think of something crazygoat farming, turtle raising,
having gardens in your suburbanbackyard.
A lot of people just putanything that they're interested
(18:34):
like that they do, put it onthe back burner and they don't
take any action, I find,typically because in their mind
it's not big enough, it's notglobal enough in scale, it won't
make a living for them.
They don't have the time or themoney.
They have this long list ofwhat I call just practical
reasons why they can't do it,either now or, you know, maybe
(18:59):
ever.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
And they think that's the reason they're not doing it
.
So the first phase of the bookI call it not therapy and you
have these little knots thatneed to be untangled and need to
be unraveled, and the essenceof the knot is it's just
something that you don't realize.
You're thinking about your goalor your project, your
(19:23):
initiative.
You just don't realizeconsciously that there's another
reason that you're not doing it, and so the first step is for
me to help someone reveal thatto themselves.
What is it really that's keepingme from doing it that they're
(19:45):
unconscious of, and it happensin 10 minutes.
You want to go through a littlething?
Speaker 2 (19:49):
Yeah, sure, okay.
Speaker 1 (19:50):
So the goat farm in.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
Gotcha, let's do it.
Yeah, where was it?
Speaker 1 (19:57):
going to be West Virginia.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
There was just this perfect goat farm that belonged
to poet Carl Sandburg inHendersonville, North Carolina.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
Okay, North Carolina.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Yeah, but I never figured out where it could be,
because goats don't like to beon wet ground.
They don't, they don't.
You know, you'd have to have ahigh piece of ground in
louisiana to even do this okay,so it needs to be dry okay so.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
So that's like a practical yeah you know reason
that you might not do it, okay.
So here's what I want you to Iwant you to close your eyes and
I want you to imagine thatyou're actually doing it.
You have the goat form.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
All right, yeah.
What I want to know is, nowthat you're doing it you know
it's already done.
You don't have to figure outanymore how you did it or what
needed to be done to get there.
Yeah, you're running it Right.
Okay, it's.
What do you not like about it?
Now, now that you're doing it,what is, what are the things
that bother you about this newreality that you've created?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
oh, that's weird, okay.
Um, well, I might not be closeto rouses, okay, so yeah, that's
that's right.
Um, it's inconvenient and andyeah, okay, what else, you know,
um, I may not have a lot ofhelp because my kids are busy
(21:22):
and my wife doesn't like goatsor need anything that they
produce, or like.
Nobody wants to drink goat milk, or I.
I don't want to be, uh, I don'twant to have to sell goat milk
or goat meat, okay so.
So why am I doing it?
Right why are we even doingthis?
Speaker 1 (21:42):
okay, so it's a zoo.
Yeah, okay, so this is perfect.
Yeah, okay, here we are inthree minutes, right, right, you
, you've started a list ofreasons that you really don't
want to do it.
They would just be pets.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
If we sat here for 15 minutes, you could come up with
a list of 20 reasons not to doit that you weren't aware of
when you told me.
Yeah, how happy and excited youwere when you told me about you
know this thing that you mightwant to do right one day.
Yeah, okay.
So that's the problem.
Okay, the back burner idea orgoal that everyone has.
(22:20):
It's kind of romanticized alittle bit yeah yeah, and when I
get them to sort of projectinto the future where, whatever
their dream has happened, theyliterally can come up with a
list of 100 reasons why theywouldn't like it.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Oh my gosh yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Okay, so now you don't consciously realize that
you have this list.
Yeah, you just think well, it'sbecause you know my family's in
Louisiana and I can't move tohigher ground.
Or you know things like thatRight right.
You know, I don't have themoney or I don't have the time.
The practical reasons is whatyou think is the reason why
you're not doing it.
The real reason you're notdoing it is because there's this
(23:01):
other, hidden aspect ofyourself that doesn't want to do
it.
Speaker 2 (23:06):
Got it, and so do you have to do battle with that and
then do it anyway, or do youjust need to figure out if you
really want to do it?
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Well, here's the thing you probably do want to do
it on some level Okay.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I just want to smell the smells of a barn.
Yeah, but you know it's totallyromanticized.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
But this sort of subversive character that
doesn't want it to happen.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (23:30):
It is part of you, but it's a part of you that
you're not aware of, and theyhave a personality too.
You know this other part ofyourself, and it knows you
better than you know yourself,and since it's sort of hidden
from you, it's always going towin, Got it.
You can't outsmart, you can'toutwill, you can't push, you
(23:53):
know overpower this other partof yourself that doesn't want to
do it.
It's impossible.
So anyone who's ever had a goalthat they didn't achieve, I
swear to you, if you give themto me for 30 minutes, I can help
them discover.
Okay, here's the real reasonyou didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, I used to have a goal of when I was in real
estate make 15 million dollars.
15 because it had to bespecific, it had to be an odd
number, all the stupid stuff.
But I never ended up making 15million dollars.
And I was like, well, I'm sureI'm trying hard, but even if I
could sell that much it wouldhave been nice, but um, it
(24:32):
always.
I think I recognized theinauthentic, inauthentic
elements in that.
Quicker than something like agoat farm, you would have even
more around that, yeah, therewould be other things that would
come up.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Yeah, when, if we did that, yeah, and it points to
you've heard the expressionwe're our own worst enemy, okay.
What we don't realize whenwe're saying that is the enemy,
is really this sort ofunconscious aspect of ourselves
that has already decided theydon't want it to happen.
It's not going to happen, okay,and so essentially, what you
(25:06):
have is an inner conflict thatyou're not aware of, your inner
change manager it's just like um, you know there's, there are a
lot of reasons not to do it.
Yeah, but you're not consciousof them, yeah, so a lot of
people will go through theirentire lives not really
realizing why they didn't do it.
Speaker 2 (25:24):
And they just feel like failures.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Yeah, they feel like failures.
Or oh, it just wasn't in thecards for me.
Or if I only, you know had abig inheritance, or if I was
wealthy like somebody else, orif I only lived some.
You know it's just a lot ofexcuses and, you know, to me
it's the biggest tragedy becauseI know what's really going on
is they just need to.
(25:45):
You know, discover, you know,reveal these knots and they're
really like slip knots.
They're so easy to reallyuntangle and untie.
Now I will tell people thisBefore they come do work with me
, come to a workshop orsomething I do online Zoom
workshops and things like that.
I said I hope you really dowant to do it, Because if you do
(26:07):
this process, you're going tofind yourself on the way to
doing it, which can be scary.
I talk about it, I dream aboutit, but now I'm really, you know
, on my way, because whathappens is when you untie the
knots, you just find yourselfleaning into it and doing things
you know sending emails, makingphone calls.
It starts to just happen.
(26:28):
Weird, it's crazy yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:30):
What's on your back burner?
Oh, that's scary.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
So you got to go unearth all of the things that
you you set aside and you can doit in a week, yeah, and usually
I encourage people to do itwith someone else, because you
start to realize, oh, wow, it'snot just me and um, so part of
the phase one, the not therapyis what I call it, and you know,
I say not therapy with a kbecause it's not therapy, but
(26:55):
it's, you know, it's justextremely therapeutic.
Yeah, and when two people do ittogether and you, you read your
your list to the other personand then they read theirs to you
, both people are just shakingtheir head like, oh, I can't
believe.
This is really what's at playhere.
Yeah, but it's true.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Wow, it's.
It's creating a dialecticbetween the, the shadow self,
like you described right, andthen the, the, the guy that
shows up that you think isliving your day, and so then you
get truth out of it right?
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
It's your.
It's your.
It's really just expanding your, your conscious mind to things
that you believe, that you'redon't realize, you still believe
.
And the thing that was reallyso shocking to me is, you know,
the first time this startedhappening was when I did try to
get into real estate and I wasdoing a Tony Robbins course.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
This is dangerous to combine Tony Robbins and real
estate.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Yeah, well, you know, and what I realized was when I
was a young boy, my dad told mea story.
He was a bartender in theFrench Quarter.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
And we would go stay at his house on the weekends.
My parents were divorced and hewould come home late.
We got to stay up late.
That was a good part.
But he would say, oh man, therewas all these rich guys in my
bar tonight and they own hotelsand they were rubbing elbows
with the politicians because,like, that's how you make money,
you have to be connected and dothese insider deals, he said.
(28:18):
But you know the real reasonthey're in my bar on a friday
night, it's because their wivesand kids can't stand them.
Yeah, and they would rather behere than home.
Yeah, now, I heard that as a 10year old boy and I didn't
really totally understand whathe was saying.
But yeah, it registered in thatif you wanted to, you know,
earn your 15 million, like youreferred to right.
(28:40):
That, in my mind, you'd have tobe in a bar on a Friday night,
you know, rubbing elbows withpoliticians, which is not
something that would appeal tome.
And so I had this innerconflict that, on one hand, I
wanted to get into real estateand, you know, become wealthy,
but on the other hand, thehidden aspect of myself believed
that if I did that, I wouldbecome estranged from my wife
(29:02):
and children.
Yeah, scary, okay.
So, in other words, there's noway I would have taken the steps
I needed to take, as long as Ibelieve that on some level, but
didn't even know I believed it.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Yeah, I can empathize completely with that.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Okay, now, as soon as I, as soon as I resolved that
and you know, kind of updatedthat belief, I jumped in in
January of 2000 and you know itwas, it was crazy, and four
months I had 10 apartment unitsand and then I really went crazy
after that.
You know, before, before I knewit, I had 10 apartment units
and then I really went crazy.
After that, before I knew it, Ihad like 60-something apartment
(29:39):
units in a very short time.
But it wasn't going to happenuntil I came to the truth of
resolving this inner conflict.
So this is really the thingthat I would want people to take
away.
If you're not doing pursuingyour goals, the only real reason
is you have an inner conflictthat you're not aware of yet.
(30:01):
Amazing.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
And that for some people that conflict can be
whether the desire is authenticor not.
Right, like for me.
It goes way deep down, kind oflike for you, like money, bad
Money makes things bad.
I don't know why it would, butit does.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
So you know, here's the thing about each knot.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
It actually comes from a lesson you learned while
growing up.
Speaker 2 (30:31):
Interesting.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Part of the process can be.
If you really want to go deepinto it, you can track down
every single knot and find outwho said it to you, where you
learned it.
You can remember when Okay, Oneof the guys that we spoke of
earlier who had done the retreathe said when we were doing this
, he goes.
I can't believe this.
Every one of mine came fromfifth grade.
(30:53):
Yeah, Now, this was a man inhis 60s.
Wow, yeah, Realizing thateverything that was holding him
back was lessons he learned as afifth grader.
Wow, and look, it was the samefor me when I was doing this
work, you know, in my fifties, Iwas just constantly dumbfounded
.
I just couldn't believe, Ididn't want to believe that as a
, as a grown man, that that thethings that were sort of um, you
(31:19):
know, I don't want to saycontrolling my life, but, but
certainly, you know, making mehave to maneuver around it it
was just stuff that came mostlyfrom childhood.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
And and just, it was still there in my fifties, okay.
So think about this.
I mean, you know, when do youever go back and dig it, dig all
that up?
Speaker 2 (31:40):
yeah, you know, probably never amazing that's
just one of these, I mean, andso, look, that's the one that's
probably the most important tounderstand.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
The the next phase really is just to identify the
characters.
You know they have a certainvoice and so you know you talked
a little bit about kind of themoney consciousness voice.
You know money is bad.
Okay, that character probablyshows up in a lot of ways.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Yeah, you know, in your life talked about my, the
practical father-in-law voice.
What the hell are you doing?
You know, so you can.
My dad's voice, like all ofthem, yeah, yeah, they're all,
they all become like like apersonality.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Yeah, yeah, you're right, and so what we do?
The second part of the processis to kind of identify those
characters and sort of learnwhat they're all about and where
they came from.
Yeah, you know, like, what'stheir history, when were they
born?
You know why did they come out.
So then, once you know thecharacter, then the final phase,
phase three, is to resolve your, your inner conflict with these
(32:35):
characters.
Now, if you don't resolve them,they're going to work against
you in the in secret and youwon't know exactly why.
You know you're doing somethingor not doing something.
When you bring them into thelight, you identify the
character.
Then you have a conversationwith them.
So the third phase is goldendialogue, where you really talk
(32:56):
to them like they're a differentpersonality, and it can be done
in a journal form and live inperson.
We do it with chairs andsomebody gets up and sits down
in a chair and talks to theirpartner.
And it sounds crazy.
When I'm giving theinstructions, people are kind of
wrinkling their nose and sayingcome on, man, really.
But when you watch somebody doit and talk to an inner
(33:19):
character, you know you have noidea what they're going to say.
That's hilarious, you reallyhave no idea.
Speaker 2 (33:26):
And when people start to see it, when you witness it,
you really realize like, oh myGod, this is crazy because that
personality has its own whole,whatever reason for being yeah
that, that you're kind of liketaking something out of
toastmasters there as well, likethis big speaking exercise of
you're gonna talk to your innerself, yeah, on each side of the
(33:47):
table, in front of everyone yeah, not, look, that's the part
that takes.
You know a little bit of courage, like if you're gonna have wind
, wind Once somebody gets intoit, though they forget anyone's
in the room.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
And they just roll with it.
And it's just so fascinating tohear an inner aspect of
yourself talk back to you andtell you what they're thinking
and why they do what they do.
Yeah, and so the way that weresolve these characters is
these characters, on some level,want the same things you want.
(34:18):
They just have a different wayof going about getting them and
usually it's unhelpful from sortof like the person you are
today.
Yeah, and so you make a dealwith your character.
You find out what their needsare, what they want, and and
this may sound like you knowyou're schizophrenic, right,
(34:41):
it's really.
You know, maybe on some level,you know, you always do have
different personalities inside,but you can make a deal with
your character once youunderstand what's their
motivation and what they want.
And so what happens is thisforce that's working against you
all your life.
Up to this point, from the youknow, when it was, uh, the
inception of this character,till now, they've been working
(35:02):
against you.
As soon as you make a deal withthem, now, all of a sudden, all
of that um energy, they becomeyour ally yeah, so it goes from
adversary to ally.
Yeah, and now, as strong as theyare and as much as they know
about you, they're on your sideand this is why I say things
(35:23):
start happening, because you'reno longer working against
yourself.
This is cool.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Okay, well, I have a burning question to ask you.
Go ahead.
So you know, look, we're inLouisiana.
In the South A lot of peoplehave religious upbringings and
you know there's a godlike voicethat guides people right when
you're on that path.
Can that be mistaken for acharacter?
(35:50):
Can you build that character inand actually be working in
opposition to that voice?
And it may be inauthentic?
That's a really kind of deepand tricky question.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
Here's the thing.
So, okay, if you're a religiousperson, you believe in God,
which I do.
Yeah, right, what does God wantfor you?
They want you to be whole,don't they?
They want you to have self-love.
Would anyone's God want them tobe anything other than totally
accepting of themselves, theirtrue nature?
(36:23):
Yeah, Okay, all this is istaking a part of yourself that
you've judged as wrong at somepoint and decided that they
don't need to be in your life,yeah, and tried to suppress it
and push it down into the, tothe subconscious mind.
And they're trying to operateand be good people and be
(36:45):
authentic and bring the fullforce of their being, but yet
they've judged themselves in somany aspects as being wrong that
they're really just operatingon partial capacity and and on
some level, they don't fullylove and accept themselves, you
know, as as the way they are, soI I feel like it's definitely
(37:07):
in line with what god would wantfrom you.
Know, for you is to acceptyourself fully.
Speaker 2 (37:15):
Yeah, I guess the question was also asking can we
also accidentally build up thewrong voice for God inside?
That's kind of saying somethingcounter to what may you know.
Speaker 1 (37:30):
I think you can hear the difference, I guess, is the
bottom line you know thesecharacters.
It is really just you and it'sjust a programmed belief.
That is not true.
Yeah, it's just something thatyou believed or came to believe.
Maybe someone told you you know,a parent, a teacher, a
(37:52):
grandparent, a friend, and atwhatever age you were, as you're
trying to learn about what theworld's all about, you sort of
adopted a belief that served youat the time, that doesn't serve
your growth any longer, but yetit's never been refuted in any
way, and so now it's holding youback, the calling the back
(38:18):
burner idea and goal.
I think that's the drivingforce of God letting you know
that this has always been there,that this desire has always
been there, that this issomething you should pursue,
because normally that desireI've never come across where
it's anything harmful.
It's always something that'seither helpful to someone else
(38:40):
or some way you want to serve,or just something you want to do
that creates joy for yourselfor your family, your kids or
neighbors, and you're holdingyourself back from that, from
these beliefs that are just notrelevant anymore.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
It may have actually been the religion teacher or the
pastor's voice, or something.
I mean not a God force.
Yeah, it could.
Speaker 1 (39:05):
It's just something that no longer serves the
calling.
Yeah, you know, when I say backburner, ultimately it's your
calling Gotcha Gotcha, and thatis a different voice.
I don't think you know we'retalking about.
You know, getting up andhearing it, one of your
characters is is probably notgod in that sense where you know
(39:26):
they're going to say.
I think the the god voice forme is it's just more of a
knowing.
Speaker 2 (39:32):
Yeah, it's not really words, it's usually just like
it's not Morgan Freeman, it'slike you just know.
Speaker 1 (39:38):
You just know what to do.
Yeah, you know what it'stelling you.
Speaker 2 (39:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Without words, right, right, and that drives.
So I think this really getsyourself out of the way of your
own destiny.
Yeah, and you know, I hate tosay, not everyone's going to do
it in their lifetime, and to methat's, you know, a tragedy.
Speaker 2 (40:01):
What about people who are in trouble, Like if they're
sick or, you know, financialduress, anything like that?
I mean, do you have anything tosay to them today?
You know if, for instance,there's somebody that wanted to
be a pro golfer but they got aleg amputated?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
or something.
Well, I think there's always away for you to take whatever
your life experience was and anddo something positive with it.
You know, um it's like the oldadage of the mess is the message
interesting.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
Have you heard?
You heard that before Never.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
It's where you take your struggles and your
challenges and then you can usethat to to advise some someone.
I will say from a practicalsense when my, my mother-in-law
she's she's no longer with us,but when she was in her final
years she had a hospice nurse,and so I would get into a
conversation with her and andshe said really, my clients fall
(40:57):
into two categories.
One is at the end of the life.
They really realize that theydid the things they pursued, the
things they wanted to pursue,and they led a good life.
And she says and the other halfget to the point where they
realize they didn't do thethings they wanted to do and
they're bitter yeah because whathappened was, by the time they
(41:20):
really started bringing it up tothe you know a priority, they
no longer had either theresources of the physical
capacity to do it yeah and so itwas like really kind of a stark
warning there, you know,there's two forks you can take.
You're going to either live alife of bitterness and regret at
the end for not doing it, oryou get to it early enough that
(41:44):
you just do the things thatyou're called to do.
Yeah, and so I feel like I'mhelping get the message out or
at least give people a frameworkwhere they can get over
something that's in their waythat they're not aware of.
Yeah, to not end up one of thepeople with regret.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
There's a sense of urgency to it there is why I
like gary vaynerchuk so much,because he's like look peak in
your 60s.
Um, you know, there's stilltime.
If you're sitting herelistening to this today and
you're 40, you still have theworld by the tail and you're
just healthy.
And you, I mean, come on umyeah, plenty of time yeah yeah,
(42:21):
well, call it there and letpeople know where to get the
book and where to find you.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
So it's on amazon and you can I got my copy yeah,
it's what's on your back burner.
uh, if you want shortcut, youcan go to backburnerbookcom and
that'll take you to my webpage,which has a link to the book.
It also has the worksheets thatyou'll need to sort of do that
little exercise you and I did oflike, hey, what don't you like
about this idea, now that you'vedone this goal that you've
(42:49):
thought about?
And then there's otherresources in there too, as my
next online workshops and thingslike that.
If you, if you don't want to doit on your own, I'm always
happy to to to guide peoplethrough it in small groups on.
Zoom and just help them get over.
It's just some of thetrepidation of like digging it
(43:10):
it's.
It is fun.
I think most people have funwhen they do it and you
definitely learn something aboutyourself that you didn't know,
are you still doing the man campretreats?
I didn't do one in 2024.
But I am part of the reason ofdoing the book is to find a
bigger platform so I can attractmore people to do retreats.
(43:30):
So, I like the workshops, I likegoing and speaking to groups
and, yeah, I definitely want tokeep doing the retreats Awesome.
Speaker 2 (43:37):
Well, it was a gift to have you up here today in
Zachary, just 30 minutes northof where you are in the hip zip.
But, Albert, thank you so muchfor being here.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Thanks, mike.
Speaker 2 (43:50):
Yeah, I can't, wait to read your next book too.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
All right, I'm going to have to start working on it.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
Yeah, that's it for this week's episode of Porch and
Parish.
Be sure to catch us on localnewsstands or online at
porchandparishcom.
Huge thanks to AlbertPalaszczuk for sharing his gifts
with our community and forfinally inking that bestseller,
and to all of our sponsors, whomake this content possible and
free.
Don't forget to support them,and don't forget to support them
, and we'll catch you next weekwith another inspiring
(44:15):
conversation.
Thank you.
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