In this episode (273) of the PBSE podcast, hosts Mark and Steve respond to a heartfelt message from a betrayed partner whose addict spouse keeps saying he’s “sorry” and that he’s “trying,” yet still fails to meet her emotional needs. The conversation highlights the profound frustration and exhaustion that many partners feel as they repeatedly express their pain and needs, only to be met with minimal awareness or inconsistent effort. The hosts emphasize that while an addict may be sincere in their apologies, sincerity without emotional capacity or real change isn’t enough to rebuild trust or connection.
The article goes on to explore the concept of emotional “capacity,” explaining that in early recovery, addicts often lack the internal tools needed to hold space for their partner’s pain. This isn’t to excuse poor behavior, but to help partners understand why they may be feeling unseen or invalidated despite their partner’s promises. Mark and Steve caution against the common trap of overextending emotional energy in hopes of breakthrough and instead stress the need for healthy, clearly defined boundaries. These boundaries are framed not as threats or punishments but as vital self-protection—ways to maintain one’s authenticity, dignity, and well-being when the addict is not yet capable of genuine connection.
Ultimately, the article challenges readers to reflect on compatibility, effort, and emotional sustainability within the relationship. It encourages betrayed partners to gain clarity around their own values, needs, and limits, while recognizing the difference between compliance and real change. Whether a partner is able to rise to the occasion or not, the message is clear: you are not alone, your needs are valid, and healing—whether together or apart—is possible with the right tools, support, and boundaries in place.
For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Addict Partner Keeps saying "Sorry" and He's "Trying," but He's NOT Meeting my Real Needs!
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
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