In this powerful episode, we address the heart-wrenching story of a betrayed partner whose marriage has been scarred by nearly two decades of emotional abuse, chronic dishonesty, and sexual betrayal. Despite having initiated divorce proceedings, she finds herself still seeking clarity and wondering if hope remains. Her husband, who continues to act out sexually while refusing meaningful recovery, tells her that she’s overreacting and simply needs to “get over it.” We unpack the damaging impact of that dismissive attitude and the emotional exhaustion that comes when a partner’s pain is ignored or minimized.
We explore the reasons why sex and porn addicts often refuse to change—from deep-rooted denial and shame to emotional immaturity, fear, and pride. By understanding these psychological and relational patterns, partners can gain the clarity needed to make authentic, self-honoring decisions. At the same time, we emphasize that understanding the “why” does not mean excusing the behavior. The addict’s refusal to grow or take accountability places a ceiling on the relationship and prevents the kind of healing and intimacy that both partners deserve.
Ultimately, the question becomes not whether a betrayed partner wants to stay, but whether she can stay without losing herself. We outline the crucial role of boundaries—not as threats, but as life-saving tools to protect dignity and self-worth—and the essential need to rebuild identity, self-trust, and personal sovereignty. Whether a partner stays or leaves, the message is clear: you do not have to settle for pain, silence, or stagnation. You have the right to be seen, heard, and whole—and no, you don’t need to “just get over it.” You deserve better.
For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Porn/Sex Addicted Partner tells me I just need to "Get over it" . . . So, now what?!
Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com
Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling
Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services
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