April 10, 2024 • 13 mins
Embark on a journey with me as we unlock the power of strategic sisterhood. Discover the seven pivotal relationships every woman should have in her corner, from a mentor who helps you navigate the learning curves of life to the cheerleaders who amplify your victories. It's not just about making friends—it's about forging alliances that propel you towards personal triumphs and spiritual fulfillment. Every role, be it a coach, counselor, or encourager, serves a definitive purpose in crafting a life of success and contentment. I'll guide you through the nuances of these relationships and the art of choosing the right individuals to support your journey.
This episode is not just a treasure trove of wisdom; it's a call to action to cultivate and cherish the sisterhood that can shape your destiny. Tune in and let's nurture the connections that matter, for a life rich in guidance, support, and love.
Mentioned in this episode:
Podcast Episode 9 - What You Should Know Before You Hire a Coach https://apple.co/441pHWz
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, it's Kimberly Knight with Position Podcast,
and I am going to share with youtoday the seven women every
woman needs in her life.
Now, I had an opportunity overthis past weekend to minister at
a conference in New York and Ispoke about how relationships
impact our life, our success,even our relationship with God,
(00:21):
and I wanted to share some of mynotes with you.
So here are the seven womenthat I feel every woman should
have in her life.
Let's hit it.
Number one every woman needs amentor.
Oh, my gosh.
Now let me give you thedefinition of some of these
things, because I think one ofthe things that we have done is
we call everybody a air quotesfriend.
Everybody is not your friendand every smiling face is not
(00:44):
for you.
That's another episode.
I might come back and do thatone, but I want to give you some
working definitions so that youcan understand what is and is
not for you.
Okay, so when we talk about amentor, a mentor is a trusted
advisor whose wisdom helps youto navigate your life by sharing
their life and experience, andmuch of the influence and the
(01:05):
power of this relationship is inthe time and the outpour, the
virtue that's poured in.
Now, a mentor, honestly, cancut your learning curve by
decades.
So my mentor taught me a lot ofthings over the course of our
25-year relationship that Itaught to the older girls that I
mentored in about 10.
(01:27):
Now here's the thing After awhile I'm able to dial this down
so that I could create acoaching program with the things
that I've learned, and itdoesn't take these women nearly
as long to catch these conceptswhy I've been doing this for
decades.
So I know where the potholesare, I know where the speed
bumps are and I can cut yourlearning curve.
(01:48):
Here's the other thing, theother relationship that every
woman needs in her life.
You need a coach.
I'm not saying that because Iam one.
I'm saying that because youneed one.
So let me give you mydefinition here.
A coach works with people whoare emotionally stable and ready
to achieve greater success.
So here's the thing Coaches aresupposed to be future focused.
(02:10):
The difference between a coachand a counselor is that the
counselor is going to work onyour past.
By the way, that's one of theseven.
A counselor is going to work ona past to bring you to a
healthy present.
The coach works from a healthypresent to bring you to your
future and be the catalyst foryour future.
So so far, we have threerelationships that every woman
(02:32):
needs.
Now you need that mentor, thecoach, who's going to help you
move forward faster.
The mentor is going to give youwhat you need to cut your
learning curve.
And also we need that counselor.
Now that counselor is going todeal with what you need to cut
your learning curve.
And also we need that counselor.
Now that counselor is going todeal with some of the issues
that hold us back, because forsome of us, well, we've had some
(02:53):
pretty traumatic events in ourlives or we've had things that
we're still working through orrelationships where we need
support.
Don't be ashamed to getcounseling.
If you know me and if you'vebeen listening to any of my
podcasts, you know I believe inJesus, deliverance, prayer and
therapy Hello, and sometimeswe'll need them all at the same
(03:16):
time and don't be ashamed ofthat and don't be afraid of that
.
Right, they're built into yourlife to help you.
Another difference between thecoach and the counselor is that
the coach coaching should bemore client directed, right.
So you come into coachingunderstanding that there's
something you want to work on orsomewhere you need support or
accountability and you directthat course.
(03:38):
With counseling, it is morecounselor directed, where the
counselor would say you know,here are some things that I'm
seeing or some patterns I'veidentified or some issues we may
need to address.
So just keep that in mind.
The other thing is do notconfuse your need for a coach
with your need for a counselor.
I do have a podcast episoderegarding this and I will make
(04:03):
sure that I drop that in theshow description, okay?
Lastly, one of the bigdifferences between a coach and
a counselor is that mentalhealth counselors must be
licensed.
Now, those licensingrequirements vary from state to
state, but they must be licensed.
For coaches, there is currentlyno licensing, but they can be
(04:27):
board or coaching federationcertified, so you can always
check into that, okay.
So so far, we've talked aboutthree relationships that every
woman needs in her life hermentor, coach and counselor.
So let's look at for another oneyour connector.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
So you need a connector.
Now, my definition forconnector is that this connector
(04:51):
knows many people and iswilling to connect you to others
, to broker deals, supportprojects or promote you right.
So when you think about aconnector, a connector is
putting you in front of theright people in the right place
at the right time.
You know we talk about gettinga seat at the table.
Well, this person knows thehost who is hosting the table
and is going to bring you intothe space and place.
(05:14):
So everyone needs a connector.
Now, I'm a connector and I havea really good friend who is a
connector and most of the timespeople tell me I don't bother.
Google, I just ask you, do youknow anyone who and it's always
I've got a guy, I have aconnection?
Yes, I do know someone Wait,let me make a call is willing to
(05:35):
make that introduction so thatthe two of you have the
opportunity to connect and tomove forward on the business
that you have at hand.
So everybody needs a connector.
Let's look at the fifthrelationship that every woman
needs.
Oh, my gosh, the encourager.
You need an encourager, and Idon't even have to look at the
(05:58):
definition.
Everybody needs a cheerleader,right?
Everybody needs somebody whosays you can do it, or I knew
you could do it, or I'm here foryou, or I'm watching you work.
You better make it happen, girl, right?
Somebody who is in your corner.
You need an amen corner.
Let's face it, life is tough.
Life be lifin' out in thesestreets.
You need an encourager.
(06:19):
So everybody needs somebodywho's going to exhort them to go
further, do more, experiencelife right.
And I have a friend who I wasrunning some new ideas by her
for some new programs.
Oh, stay tuned because thisstuff is going to be really,
really good.
But I was running them by hertoday and she was like let's go.
(06:40):
What can I do to help?
What can I do to help you getit done?
I believe in you.
That really sounds great.
Let me support it.
I'll be here for you.
Everybody needs that encouragerin her life.
A friend.
Now when I say friend, let meread my definition of friend.
(07:05):
I'll be right back.
I'm going to read my definitionof friend Someone who helps you
put your flowers in a vase andsmell them too.
She lets you walk the journeywith her and she with you.
As you live, love and learn.
Now listen, girls.
I got to tell you, as you live,love and learn.
Now listen, girls.
I got to tell you some of thesefriends ain't friending.
(07:25):
A friend should be loyal.
A friend should be trustworthy,and some of us are calling
people friends when they'rereally acquaintances.
Some of us are calling peoplefriends when really what they
are is watchers.
The word says that you knowthat a friend is supposed to be
(07:48):
friendly.
So this frenemy stuff wherethey're giving you backhanded
compliments and you don't trustyour children or your husband
around them, even when you're inthe room Baby, that's not a
friend, that's a problem.
Even when you're in the roombaby, that's not a friend,
that's a problem.
So choose your friends wisely,because you show me who your
friends are.
I can just about show you yourfuture.
You show me your friends.
I can tell you how much supportyou have, and a lot of us are
(08:11):
calling people friends that arenot friends.
So make sure that you'recategorizing these people in
these relationships correctly,so that you're not expecting
something from someone thatthey're not equipped to give by
nature of their relationship toyou.
For example, some of us tend toshare too much too soon with
(08:32):
the wrong people and every airquote again friend has another
friend who's not your friend,who's waiting for your
information, right, every friendhas a friend who they can trust
with your secret, and they havea friend and they have a friend
, and so on and so on and so on.
(08:52):
So, before you call someonefriend, make sure they meet the
right criteria they're loyal,they're trustworthy, they're
honorable, they have a goodreputation.
Why?
Because we become the peoplethat we hang around the most
have a good reputation.
Why?
Because we become the peoplethat we hang around the most.
Make sure that you don't haveto agree on everything, but you
(09:16):
should agree on the major lifecomponents, right?
You definitely want somebody.
We don't want, yes, people.
We don't want people who arejust carbon copies of us, but we
do want people who understandour walk and respect it.
Check your friends.
I saw this post it.
One day that you know, I prayedto God to take away any hidden
(09:37):
enemies and I lost most of myfriends.
Yeah, yet again, another show.
I'll be back, all right.
So the last relationship thatevery single woman needs in her
life is a happily married sister.
Yeah, every woman needs ahappily married sister in her
(10:00):
life, and I can tell you that Ihad the blessing, when I was
single and now that I'm married,of having happily married women
who were encouraging me notonly in my singleness, but also
as I got married, as I wascourting and getting married.
They were right there for me,setting a good example, calling
(10:20):
me out on my stuff, telling mewhere I needed to be healed,
showing me how to navigate arelationship right.
I hadn't been married in almost15 years so I needed help.
Girls, I really needed help.
I needed support.
I needed someone that I couldrun things by.
I needed someone who would justsay hey, that's just marriage,
(10:41):
it's a give and take, there'sebbs and flows, it'll be okay.
You know it's a give and take,there's ebbs and flows, it'll be
okay.
I needed people that I couldsee their walk with their
husband and that that walk wasgood and it was holy and it was
right, and who had gone throughsome stuff and made it out.
On the other side, I neededhappily married sisters who I
hadn't heard mentioned the Dword, divorce what y'all think I
(11:06):
was going to say Okay, divorcewho were in it to win it, who
were in it for the long haul andthey were only going to be
separated by death.
So I am blessed to have thosekinds of women.
I have several happily marriedsisters.
Some of you don't even have one.
(11:26):
Remember, we become what we seeand hang around the most, and
it's all right to be a copycatif you copy the right cat, so
they really cut my learningcurve when I got married I guess
it's been like eight years nowwhen I got married eight years
ago, because this was all new tome, it was like all new all
over again and it was verydifferent being married at 48
(11:49):
than it was at 28.
So I needed their help.
I needed their support.
I needed them to give mefeedback.
I needed to know you know, whatam I going to do when I'm right
and I want to argue and I'm goodat it.
What am I going to do with thatright?
So I'm saying to you getyourself some happily married
(12:10):
sisters.
And if you can't find any, I'vegot a whole bunch of folks that
you can talk to.
I'm one of them.
I have a whole bunch of folksthat you can talk to and come
into community with over in mydifferent coaching groups.
So do check those out.
All those links will be in theshow description as well.
(12:32):
But you definitely have to gethappily married sisters and if
you really want your marriage tosucceed.
Not only would you includehappily married sisters, you'd
be very mindful of those whoaren't happy in their marriage
and how much access they have toyour relationship and how much
advice you take from them,because, remember, the advice
(12:54):
you take will help you to makedecisions, whether those
decisions are good or bad, sogovern yourself accordingly.
In the meantime, please likeand share this broadcast with
your friends.
You know a friend who needsthis.
You know someone in your lifewho needs to make these finer
distinctions about the sevenrelationships that every single
(13:16):
woman needs, every married womanneeds, and regardless of their
circumstances or their maritalstatus.
You need these women in yourlife.
So until next time, have awonderfully blessed day.
Hi, it's Kimberly Knight with Position Podcast,
and I am going to share with youtoday the seven women every
woman needs in her life.
Now, I had an opportunity overthis past weekend to minister at
a conference in New York and Ispoke about how relationships
impact our life, our success,even our relationship with God,
(00:21):
and I wanted to share some of mynotes with you.
So here are the seven womenthat I feel every woman should
have in her life.
Let's hit it.
Number one every woman needs amentor.
Oh, my gosh.
Now let me give you thedefinition of some of these
things, because I think one ofthe things that we have done is
we call everybody a air quotesfriend.
Everybody is not your friendand every smiling face is not
(00:44):
for you.
That's another episode.
I might come back and do thatone, but I want to give you some
working definitions so that youcan understand what is and is
not for you.
Okay, so when we talk about amentor, a mentor is a trusted
advisor whose wisdom helps youto navigate your life by sharing
their life and experience, andmuch of the influence and the
(01:05):
power of this relationship is inthe time and the outpour, the
virtue that's poured in.
Now, a mentor, honestly, cancut your learning curve by
decades.
So my mentor taught me a lot ofthings over the course of our
25-year relationship that Itaught to the older girls that I
mentored in about 10.
(01:27):
Now here's the thing After awhile I'm able to dial this down
so that I could create acoaching program with the things
that I've learned, and itdoesn't take these women nearly
as long to catch these conceptswhy I've been doing this for
decades.
So I know where the potholesare, I know where the speed
bumps are and I can cut yourlearning curve.
(01:48):
Here's the other thing, theother relationship that every
woman needs in her life.
You need a coach.
I'm not saying that because Iam one.
I'm saying that because youneed one.
So let me give you mydefinition here.
A coach works with people whoare emotionally stable and ready
to achieve greater success.
So here's the thing Coaches aresupposed to be future focused.
(02:10):
The difference between a coachand a counselor is that the
counselor is going to work onyour past.
By the way, that's one of theseven.
A counselor is going to work ona past to bring you to a
healthy present.
The coach works from a healthypresent to bring you to your
future and be the catalyst foryour future.
So so far, we have threerelationships that every woman
(02:32):
needs.
Now you need that mentor, thecoach, who's going to help you
move forward faster.
The mentor is going to give youwhat you need to cut your
learning curve.
And also we need that counselor.
Now that counselor is going todeal with what you need to cut
your learning curve.
And also we need that counselor.
Now that counselor is going todeal with some of the issues
that hold us back, because forsome of us, well, we've had some
(02:53):
pretty traumatic events in ourlives or we've had things that
we're still working through orrelationships where we need
support.
Don't be ashamed to getcounseling.
If you know me and if you'vebeen listening to any of my
podcasts, you know I believe inJesus, deliverance, prayer and
therapy Hello, and sometimeswe'll need them all at the same
(03:16):
time and don't be ashamed ofthat and don't be afraid of that
.
Right, they're built into yourlife to help you.
Another difference between thecoach and the counselor is that
the coach coaching should bemore client directed, right.
So you come into coachingunderstanding that there's
something you want to work on orsomewhere you need support or
accountability and you directthat course.
(03:38):
With counseling, it is morecounselor directed, where the
counselor would say you know,here are some things that I'm
seeing or some patterns I'veidentified or some issues we may
need to address.
So just keep that in mind.
The other thing is do notconfuse your need for a coach
with your need for a counselor.
I do have a podcast episoderegarding this and I will make
(04:03):
sure that I drop that in theshow description, okay?
Lastly, one of the bigdifferences between a coach and
a counselor is that mentalhealth counselors must be
licensed.
Now, those licensingrequirements vary from state to
state, but they must be licensed.
For coaches, there is currentlyno licensing, but they can be
(04:27):
board or coaching federationcertified, so you can always
check into that, okay.
So so far, we've talked aboutthree relationships that every
woman needs in her life hermentor, coach and counselor.
So let's look at for another oneyour connector.
Oh my gosh.
Okay.
So you need a connector.
Now, my definition forconnector is that this connector
(04:51):
knows many people and iswilling to connect you to others
, to broker deals, supportprojects or promote you right.
So when you think about aconnector, a connector is
putting you in front of theright people in the right place
at the right time.
You know we talk about gettinga seat at the table.
Well, this person knows thehost who is hosting the table
and is going to bring you intothe space and place.
(05:14):
So everyone needs a connector.
Now, I'm a connector and I havea really good friend who is a
connector and most of the timespeople tell me I don't bother.
Google, I just ask you, do youknow anyone who and it's always
I've got a guy, I have aconnection?
Yes, I do know someone Wait,let me make a call is willing to
(05:35):
make that introduction so thatthe two of you have the
opportunity to connect and tomove forward on the business
that you have at hand.
So everybody needs a connector.
Let's look at the fifthrelationship that every woman
needs.
Oh, my gosh, the encourager.
You need an encourager, and Idon't even have to look at the
(05:58):
definition.
Everybody needs a cheerleader,right?
Everybody needs somebody whosays you can do it, or I knew
you could do it, or I'm here foryou, or I'm watching you work.
You better make it happen, girl, right?
Somebody who is in your corner.
You need an amen corner.
Let's face it, life is tough.
Life be lifin' out in thesestreets.
You need an encourager.
(06:19):
So everybody needs somebodywho's going to exhort them to go
further, do more, experiencelife right.
And I have a friend who I wasrunning some new ideas by her
for some new programs.
Oh, stay tuned because thisstuff is going to be really,
really good.
But I was running them by hertoday and she was like let's go.
(06:40):
What can I do to help?
What can I do to help you getit done?
I believe in you.
That really sounds great.
Let me support it.
I'll be here for you.
Everybody needs that encouragerin her life.
A friend.
Now when I say friend, let meread my definition of friend.
(07:05):
I'll be right back.
I'm going to read my definitionof friend Someone who helps you
put your flowers in a vase andsmell them too.
She lets you walk the journeywith her and she with you.
As you live, love and learn.
Now listen, girls.
I got to tell you, as you live,love and learn.
Now listen, girls.
I got to tell you some of thesefriends ain't friending.
(07:25):
A friend should be loyal.
A friend should be trustworthy,and some of us are calling
people friends when they'rereally acquaintances.
Some of us are calling peoplefriends when really what they
are is watchers.
The word says that you knowthat a friend is supposed to be
(07:48):
friendly.
So this frenemy stuff wherethey're giving you backhanded
compliments and you don't trustyour children or your husband
around them, even when you're inthe room Baby, that's not a
friend, that's a problem.
Even when you're in the roombaby, that's not a friend,
that's a problem.
So choose your friends wisely,because you show me who your
friends are.
I can just about show you yourfuture.
You show me your friends.
I can tell you how much supportyou have, and a lot of us are
(08:11):
calling people friends that arenot friends.
So make sure that you'recategorizing these people in
these relationships correctly,so that you're not expecting
something from someone thatthey're not equipped to give by
nature of their relationship toyou.
For example, some of us tend toshare too much too soon with
(08:32):
the wrong people and every airquote again friend has another
friend who's not your friend,who's waiting for your
information, right, every friendhas a friend who they can trust
with your secret, and they havea friend and they have a friend
, and so on and so on and so on.
(08:52):
So, before you call someonefriend, make sure they meet the
right criteria they're loyal,they're trustworthy, they're
honorable, they have a goodreputation.
Why?
Because we become the peoplethat we hang around the most
have a good reputation.
Why?
Because we become the peoplethat we hang around the most.
Make sure that you don't haveto agree on everything, but you
(09:16):
should agree on the major lifecomponents, right?
You definitely want somebody.
We don't want, yes, people.
We don't want people who arejust carbon copies of us, but we
do want people who understandour walk and respect it.
Check your friends.
I saw this post it.
One day that you know, I prayedto God to take away any hidden
(09:37):
enemies and I lost most of myfriends.
Yeah, yet again, another show.
I'll be back, all right.
So the last relationship thatevery single woman needs in her
life is a happily married sister.
Yeah, every woman needs ahappily married sister in her
(10:00):
life, and I can tell you that Ihad the blessing, when I was
single and now that I'm married,of having happily married women
who were encouraging me notonly in my singleness, but also
as I got married, as I wascourting and getting married.
They were right there for me,setting a good example, calling
(10:20):
me out on my stuff, telling mewhere I needed to be healed,
showing me how to navigate arelationship right.
I hadn't been married in almost15 years so I needed help.
Girls, I really needed help.
I needed support.
I needed someone that I couldrun things by.
I needed someone who would justsay hey, that's just marriage,
(10:41):
it's a give and take, there'sebbs and flows, it'll be okay.
You know it's a give and take,there's ebbs and flows, it'll be
okay.
I needed people that I couldsee their walk with their
husband and that that walk wasgood and it was holy and it was
right, and who had gone throughsome stuff and made it out.
On the other side, I neededhappily married sisters who I
hadn't heard mentioned the Dword, divorce what y'all think I
(11:06):
was going to say Okay, divorcewho were in it to win it, who
were in it for the long haul andthey were only going to be
separated by death.
So I am blessed to have thosekinds of women.
I have several happily marriedsisters.
Some of you don't even have one.
(11:26):
Remember, we become what we seeand hang around the most, and
it's all right to be a copycatif you copy the right cat, so
they really cut my learningcurve when I got married I guess
it's been like eight years nowwhen I got married eight years
ago, because this was all new tome, it was like all new all
over again and it was verydifferent being married at 48
(11:49):
than it was at 28.
So I needed their help.
I needed their support.
I needed them to give mefeedback.
I needed to know you know, whatam I going to do when I'm right
and I want to argue and I'm goodat it.
What am I going to do with thatright?
So I'm saying to you getyourself some happily married
(12:10):
sisters.
And if you can't find any, I'vegot a whole bunch of folks that
you can talk to.
I'm one of them.
I have a whole bunch of folksthat you can talk to and come
into community with over in mydifferent coaching groups.
So do check those out.
All those links will be in theshow description as well.
(12:32):
But you definitely have to gethappily married sisters and if
you really want your marriage tosucceed.
Not only would you includehappily married sisters, you'd
be very mindful of those whoaren't happy in their marriage
and how much access they have toyour relationship and how much
advice you take from them,because, remember, the advice
(12:54):
you take will help you to makedecisions, whether those
decisions are good or bad, sogovern yourself accordingly.
In the meantime, please likeand share this broadcast with
your friends.
You know a friend who needsthis.
You know someone in your lifewho needs to make these finer
distinctions about the sevenrelationships that every single
(13:16):
woman needs, every married womanneeds, and regardless of their
circumstances or their maritalstatus.
You need these women in yourlife.
So until next time, have awonderfully blessed day.
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