September 25, 2021 • 30 mins
In a world where everything appears to be out of control, one thing we can always focus on is controlling that which we can and then putting all other things out of our head. In focusing on what we can control rather than what we can not, we learn to be the masters of our own destiny in all areas of our lives.
In today’s episode, host Jason Ramsden has a conversation with Laura Tierney, Founder and CEO of The Social Institute, whose mission is to empower students and their role models to use social media in a positive way. We cover lots of ground in this episode from mindset to empowering children, to how you can bring a positive spin to managing your home life. Hold on tight, friends, as this episode will not disappoint.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Laura Tierney (00:00):
My experience growing up is to avoid failure
(00:05):
at all costs. And sometimes evenyou know, to the point of
burnout because you are almostso afraid of failing that you
will do anything to avoid andthat has been a fear I've had to
think about head on.
Jason Ramsden (00:23):
Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden and I believe we can all
work on leading a more positiveand intentional life. And this
show details my journey bysharing my learning stories and
conversations with guests. Ifyou want to lead a more
intentional life focus on beingthe best view possible, please
subscribe today. Now, let's getinto today's episode. Low my
positivity posse and welcome toanother episode of positivity on
(00:46):
fire. Today, I had the pleasureof reconnecting with Laura
Tierney, the founder and CEO ofthe social Institute, whose
mission is to empower studentsto navigate social media and
technology in a positive highcharacter way lowers prior
experience in the social mediarealm involved helping build
strategies and campaigns forbrands including ESPN, Samsung,
(01:08):
Coca Cola, Travelocity Oakleyand Disney. Along with her
passion for competition, thisLED Laura's company to create a
unique gamified social mediacurriculum, which has been
featured on NPR and by theWashington Post and USA Today.
We cover a lot of ground intoday's show. So let's get
started with my friend. Andtoday's guest, Laura Tierney.
(01:30):
Laura, good to see you. Welcometo the show. Welcome to
positivity on fire,
Laura Tierney (01:34):
thank you for having me, it's great to be back
and talking with you.
Jason Ramsden (01:38):
It's been a while probably been a year or two
since we've actually interacteddirectly.
Laura Tierney (01:43):
That's right. But your influence on our work, I
feel like it's still felt in theday to day. So it's been a while
but also doesn't feel like it.
Jason Ramsden (01:52):
People may not know who you are. So I want you
to introduce yourself. And Ialso want to share what your
life motto is.
Laura Tierney (01:58):
I'm Laura Tierney, founder and CEO of the
social Institute. And my lifemotto is to control the
controllable knowing thatthere's not a lot of things that
we can control. But there aremany things that we can stay in
control of like our attitude andour interests and our goals. And
(02:22):
our priorities. And that hasreally helped me along the way,
Jason Ramsden (02:26):
control that control over what are you what
are you controlling right now?
Laura Tierney (02:30):
I am controlling it my you know, my outlook on a
Monday, a busy Monday afternoon,where there's a lot going on.
And I think it's you know, it'seasy to sometimes feel
overwhelmed by the times thatwe're going through these
unique, you know, times thatwe're navigating. But I think I
(02:51):
also think that for everychallenging meeting or
challenging conversation, you'reone step closer to something
positive happening. So I thinkI'm you know, controlling,
controlling my attitude and likeoutlook these days. The phrase I
use with our team is CTC. Socontrol the controllable. And
(03:12):
that's, that's all you could doat the end of the day.
Jason Ramsden (03:14):
Love it. And so people don't know you're you're
the founder and CEO of thesocial Institute. I know you did
that pre kids. So you've gotgrant, and then you got another
one on the way in a couple ofmonths. So you got a lot of
control the controllable goingon running pretty amazing
company. I know the mission ofthe social Institute is to fuel
(03:35):
students health, happiness, andfuture success. Now that's not a
positive mission. I don't whatis a positive mission? How did
it all come to be? telleverybody how it all came to be
Laura?
Laura Tierney (03:46):
Well, the social Institute is definitely a labor
of love and taking risks andkind of pursuing what fulfills
me, you know, at the end of theday, and so I started the social
Institute in 2016. And I'm sothankful because I got paired up
(04:08):
with you and your colleagues atravenscraft to think about this
mission of helping students andthe five inches between their
ears and making positive choicesespecially online. And that
started out as great I'm goingto be helping this one school,
you know, and maybe a fewothers, and over the years,
(04:32):
always go with your gut and makecertain decisions and five years
later, we're helping 150 schoolsacross the country 10s of 1000s
of students and has taken off ina way I never ever dreamt it
would when you and I and otherswere like reviewing surveys and
content together and very justgetting scrappy about it but
(04:55):
putting in you know the work.
I'm really grateful for the thechance I have now to help
students to build a team. But itdefinitely comes with taking
risks too at the same time.
Jason Ramsden (05:07):
What do you think has been the biggest risk in the
last five years?
Laura Tierney (05:11):
Oh, man, my experience growing up is to
avoid failure at all costs. Andsometimes even, you know, to the
point of burnout, because youare almost so afraid of failing
that you will do anything toavoid. And that has been a fear,
(05:33):
I've had to think about head on,you know, as we at, we're a
small business and during thepandemic, as we grew, the team
had to make other decisions, youknow, about growing the team or
not growing the team and justthat, that constant that that
fears in the back of your mind.
And so that's, I think that thatis one of the biggest risks I've
had to take is just acceptingthat. And, you know, even if you
(05:56):
if you fail, you know, you, yougave it your best shot, there's
certainly other day to dayrisks, you know, that come with
leading a team, or leading anorganization, the risk of
agreeing to something that mightnot be the best for you, or the
organization, the risk of hiringsomeone that might not be a
(06:19):
great fit for the culture. But Ithink if you constantly think of
like, well, what if in anegative way, you'll drive
yourself nuts, because there'sso many what ifs, that could
happen from a negativestandpoint. And so for me, the
thing I keep in the back of myhead well is like, well, if we
make this decision and go thisdirection, we can always pivot,
you know, no matter whathappens, and that has helped me
(06:43):
Just think, you know, navigatethe last five years and starting
a company, while you know,having two kids and juggling
everything that comes with it.
When you
Jason Ramsden (06:55):
talk about the fear of failure, and I've done
other episodes around that hereon positivity on fire, I want to
know what that that means toyou, especially as it relates to
control the controllable
Laura Tierney (07:07):
I think for for me, because what I'm doing is so
mission oriented, that fear offailure could mean letting that
mission down, you know, in oursense, like letting the students
down at the schools that weserve at the schools that we
want to serve, is an immenseweight to put on your shoulders.
(07:29):
And for me, that acts as adriver, but it also acts as
extra stress and pressure. Whenyou make it so lofty, like that.
And you step back then, okay?
The kids are going to be allright. Even if, even if even if
you do fail with this company,if we can stay positive about
(07:50):
what we're doing. And I thinkthat only just fuels your
success. I'm curious, whenordered some of the themes that
you all saw on previous podcastsaround fear of failure,
Jason Ramsden (08:06):
I think for me, I was telling my own story about
being afraid even to leap intodoing a podcast and starting a
company, everybody has fears,everybody has fears of failing
for whatever reason it may be,it may be how you were brought
up, it may be you don't want tolook poorly in the eyes of your
peers, you don't want to let aspouse or a partner down. And
(08:28):
sometimes you just don't knowenough about how to launch
something to even try. But youknow, I know the work that you
do. And then also the work thatlots of educators do today is
talking about how it's okay tofail because we learn from
failure. And so when we talkabout not fearing failing, or
(08:48):
not fearing failure, it's a wayto grow personally. And
professionally, depending onwhere you're you're choosing to
fail. For me failure is anoption. You talked about a
failure not being an option. Butit is an option, because it's
the only way you're going togrow and learn. So I'm curious,
all entrepreneurs fail at somepoint, or have a failing, what's
(09:09):
that been for you? What's beenyour biggest failing
Laura Tierney (09:12):
on there? There's small scale and large scale, I
think failures. And when I lookback on work with the social
Institute, the small, you know,one small failure, I remember
going into a meeting with apartner school and I had the
wrong logo. Up on the screen. Iliterally had a different school
(09:33):
reference with this meeting. Iremember walking out of there
just being like, oh, mygoodness, you know, just the
conversation that goes throughyour head after mistakes like
that you feel like a failurewhen moments like that you just
silly and then there's othermore large scale failures where
(09:54):
you might bring someone on toyour team and in retrospect,
they might might not be a goodfit, and you made that decision
and you're trying to nurturethem and, and grow with them.
And also you have to look attheir strengths and how it, you
know, fits the organization. Andif that's good for the long
term, and if it's not, you couldfeel like a failure as a leader
(10:16):
for making that initialdecision. But I think, kind of
like back to what you said,though, for me, failure has
always acted like a fuel to thefire, but at the same time, you
can take it so seriously to thepoint that you're not okay, at
all with failing, and you'refocused solely on perfectionism.
(10:37):
Because I find that you innovatea lot slower. When you're just
focused on being perfect, then Ithink that there's this great
principle with startups and thisgreat book called the lean
startup. And it talks about howthe most innovative
entrepreneurs can go throughthis circle of innovation. And
(11:00):
the faster you go through thiscircle, the more that you
innovate, and part of thatcircle is failing, and getting
feedback and implementing thatfeedback. And so if you can
measure and if you get kind ofnegative feedback from
measuring, I see that again,it's like only taking one step
forward, because you have nowmore input, you're a better
(11:21):
leader for it, you're a betterinnovator for it.
Jason Ramsden (11:24):
If you look back on this past year, what's been a
defining moment, talked a littlebit about fear of failure, and
kind of the things that maybeyou've learned from that along
the way. But in this past year,especially through COVID, what's
been a defining moment for you.
And it can be personal orprofessional,
Laura Tierney (11:40):
when COVID initially hit schools, and
schools began to really lockdown what they were doing with
the students, they locked downon budgets. as a, as a small
business. That was a scary time,because you didn't know, there's
(12:01):
just kind of also like fear ofthe unknown, you didn't know
what was going to happen. And Iremember our team getting
together. And we started justtalking with schools. And I
think that's one thing we'vedone really well over the past
12 months is we don't assume weknow what you know, our audience
wants, we want to go out andtalk to them and see what makes
(12:23):
you know, what makes them tickand what they their needs are.
And so that's what we did backto controlling the controllable.
Like, you could just controlthat inspiration and that input.
And then we out of that, out ofthose conversations, we ended up
launching a whole new productcalled winedt social life, and
it's lessons about currentevents and things going on in
(12:44):
society. And that ended uptaking off in you know, a few
months later. And the whole teamfelt like just rallied behind it
felt like it felt like someonejust giving you a ton of energy
during that time when manypeople didn't have energy at the
(13:04):
beginning of the pandemic,because we felt like we were in
control of something we were incontrol of how we responded to
this sort of unknown time andnot knowing how how schools were
going to react to COVID. Soprofessionally, that that stands
(13:24):
out to me as a defining momentwhere you, you make something
out of what you think might benothing. And then personally,
our family has started havingfamily meetings, even with our
little four and a half year oldson just talking about what each
of us needs to like get throughthe week, or to get through the
(13:46):
day. And that open likecommunication has come out of
the pandemic where we didn't dothat beforehand. But now, like
my husband knows, he can alwayscome to me and just say, hey,
like, here's what I need to getthrough this week, and it's
going to be a stressful week,things go a lot more smoothly.
When you're able to communicatewhat you personally need, you
(14:10):
know, to get to get through acertain time
Jason Ramsden (14:12):
chakra that open and transparent communication is
actually something good,
Laura Tierney (14:18):
right? That's right. That's right. And even
like our you know, little grantman has gotten in on it is a
four and a half year old tellingus what, what, what he needs,
even though sometimes like athird of his answer, usually
just like chocolate, chocolate,or something else. Right?
Jason Ramsden (14:36):
He's only forecasting what we all know is
Yeah, we need chocolatesometimes to get through a day.
Right when it's tough, though.
Laura Tierney (14:43):
Exactly. Exactly.
The students Yeah, the kids knowmore than than we think we can
take a lot of pointers for themas adults.
Jason Ramsden (14:53):
That is true.
That is true. Talked aboutcontrol controllable. You talked
about fear of failure and kindof learning from that. He talked
about things you've learned fromthe pandemic here in terms of
opening up family meetings andconversation, through all of
that, what's what's somethingthat you've learned about
yourself, or
Laura Tierney (15:11):
I've learned that you can always be learning that
you can always like, surroundyourself with people who have
been there done that before. Andyou can always take notes from
them. And I think of, you know,my, my interactions and in our
work together, like I think backto the time, like three years
(15:33):
ago, where I thought, I had agreat sense of where I wanted to
go with the social Institute.
And I remember sitting down andwatching one of your
presentations at the Atlasconference, I believe it was,
and you presented about theintersection of how schools are
making decisions based on data.
And that for me, it was like,mind blowing, and we ended up
(15:57):
incorporating that into justthinking about how do we
approach our work, that rangingto you're sitting down with my
colleagues, my teammates, whohave sometimes different
personalities, you know, than Ido, they might be more
introverted or more extroverted.
Right, and then, but learningnot only how to interact with
them, but how that is such astrength, and you know, what
(16:19):
they bring to the team and I, soI think, for me, it's just
you're always learning like younever, you never definitely
never know everything. And ifyou can have that mindset of,
you know, being humble andvulnerable, and have your ears
open, for different people thatcome in, into your life, I think
(16:40):
you could just be a sponge. Andso for me, the pandemic has
actually allowed me to use likeLinkedIn and zoom and, and other
tools to connect with so manydifferent people who have all
these great strengths, where Icould just learn a lot from
them. And sometimes it just thatstems from like reaching out on
(17:02):
LinkedIn and saying, Hey, I cameacross your profile, I was
reading an article on thiswebsite about your team's work
and would just love to hear moreabout it, there are silver
linings, and that that would beone silver lining, I definitely
look to from the last 12 months.
Jason Ramsden (17:19):
And I know you love acronyms, right CTN. So abl
always be learning, always canlearn something new. How do you
apply that in your daily work?
Laura Tierney (17:28):
Well, especially at the social Institute, we love
learning from students. And so Imake sure nearly every week we
have meetings with students,where we could ask them
questions about what they'reexperiencing, like, what does
your day to day routine looklike? What are your concerns
about starting school this fall,and I find that taking a seat,
(17:53):
coming to those calls, knowingthat you don't know everything
about the students and factsoften Far from it, of what
they're going through. And ifyou can sit there and truly,
actively listen to what they'regoing through and, and hear them
out and take those insights andapply it, you know, to our work.
It puts us in a position ofconstantly learning because what
(18:15):
students are navigating isalways changing, you know, from
year to year, and online andoffline. And that's definitely
one of the things I love aboutthis industry and this
organization is that technologyis changing so quickly. And then
when you combine that with how astudent's life is
developmentally changing soquickly, you're in a position to
(18:37):
just have nonstop learning.
every single week.
Jason Ramsden (18:42):
I know we serve a kids all the time, or around
their social media habits. Andyou also have student
ambassadors who are tend to becollege kids who are kind of
giving back to your programthrough internships and that
sort of thing. You've learned alot about kids, if you had to
give advice to parents, becauseyou know, my listeners are
parents and have kids. Likewhat's one piece of advice that
(19:04):
you would give to parents today?
about kids?
Laura Tierney (19:07):
I'm going to speak for the students on this
one because we actually havethis is a great question. And
it's a question we ask studentsto share. What advice would you
also give to parents and themost popular response that the
students shares that how socialmedia and technology, it's not
all negative, and it could beused for it could be used
(19:28):
positively, if we choose to seethe positives, and how it's not
going away anytime soon. And sothe more that we can empower and
equip, instead of scare andrestrict, you end up helping a
child, you know, set a child upfor success no matter what they
(19:48):
have to navigate, rather thanrestricting them from this world
that is not going away. And soit's taking I think your your
same foundation, you know, toyour work of positivity, and
applying it to the world ofsocial media and technology with
students
Jason Ramsden (20:05):
do parents whose kids not you know, work with the
social Institute, have abilityto get stuff at your site to
power equip themselves to workbetter with their kids,
Laura Tierney (20:16):
definitely, we have resources for parents free
resources were ranging fromfamily tech contracts that can
help your entire family, notjust the child or children, but
your entire family, navigatesocial media and technology,
like, like nearly everything wedo. We built it with students,
we built it with students at atravenscraft. And we have
(20:42):
optimized, you know, enhanced itover the years with input from
other students across thecountry, parents are able to go
in and get the, you know,rundown on different insights
about students, the most popularapps that students are using
across Middle School, acrosshigh school and beyond. And so
we're, we're hoping to be that,that friend in your corner,
(21:04):
that's not getting you ahead ofyour children. But we're we're
keeping you pretty close towhere your child is when it
comes to navigating social mediaand technology. And so parents
could head over to the socialInstitute COMM And there's a
Resources tab on our websitethat that lists a lot of these
great resources and downloads,and reports and more.
Jason Ramsden (21:26):
That's great, thank you. I know my listeners
are certainly gonna enjoy thoseresources. It's kind of like
that old commercial that used tosay the more you know, right,
the more parents can equipthemselves with knowledge about
kids and social media. I thinkthat's important. What right
now, what's the biggestmotivator in your life?
Laura Tierney (21:45):
Yeah, I see so many headlines these days about
what students are navigatingfrom a social emotional
perspective, their well being, Isee media, that news tends to
often cover a negative angle ona lot of topics. And for me, the
motivators, giving students somesort of inspiration and
(22:10):
positivity. And if I could craftsomething that even for 15
minutes of their day, helps themreframe how they might think
about their well being thisfall, we just launched a lesson
about thinking, you know,reflecting on what you need to
succeed this fall as, as astudent, even giving them that
(22:30):
1520 minutes, just like smileand connect with their peers, we
know connection is moreimportant than ever. Now, during
the pandemic. That's a hugemotivator for me, because it
feels like oftentimes, you'reswimming upstream, especially
when it comes to negativity,like there's so much of it to go
around in the world, especiallywhen you think about social
(22:50):
media and just media in general.
And so it's kind of motivatingto, to swim upstream, or go
against the grain, whatever youwant to call it. And, like put
more of that positive energyinto the world. And to do it in
a just a really relevant,relatable, engaging way for
students, which is the trickiestpart. But it's, it's an awesome,
(23:12):
awesome challenge.
Jason Ramsden (23:16):
And an important challenge to read is reading the
news today, actually, where astudy had come out and say that
the kids who are enteringcollege now the freshmen are the
most depressed and most anxiouskids ever to enter college. And
the types of things that aremotivating you right now, are
things that should be motivatingcollege educators and parents to
(23:38):
find resources to be able tobetter help kids through, it's
going to be a trying time forthem, right, they're coming out
of the year and a half of beingvirtual more or less than than
having to go off to college,which may most likely be in
person at the moment. And so ittook them to do that, I think is
a is a great challenge. And Iappreciate that you're trying to
(23:59):
tackle
Laura Tierney (23:59):
to build on that I read a statistic early on in
this work about how we care somuch certainly at schools about
student's academic success. Butin order to one big contributor
to a student's academic success,of course, is their social
emotional well being and howthat, you know, fuels child's
(24:22):
ability to be able to balanceschoolwork and focus on their
priorities and more. And so Ithink, I think there's a wave
coming a wave of socialemotional education and focus on
well being and self care. Andthat's going to come I think,
across k 12 schools acrosscolleges and universities across
(24:42):
companies and companies thinkingabout how they prioritize their
employees well being. And soit's, again, something coming
out of this pandemic is thatthat focus on supporting the
whole person and not just a partof a part of them.
Jason Ramsden (25:00):
So important, so important. I appreciate that a
lot. Because I think it's gonnabe, I think it's gonna be
critical for kids success in thefuture, that the whole social
emotional learning package, ifyou will, right, it's not just
academics, it's how theyinteract with others and how
they kind of go through life. Sowell done on that
Laura Tierney (25:20):
will include, I was gonna say, Well done, like
kudos to you all because I feellike you and your time at
Ravenscroft and the team atRavenscroft, you just, you all
saw into the future writing somuch about how this focus on
social media and technology, itwasn't going away. I mean,
(25:41):
you're, you're, of course, likeyour background, with
technology. And then youintersect that with, you know,
people's mindset. That's areally powerful thing,
technology and mindset andattitude. And so a lot of this
was just, you know, trying tokeep up with the vision that you
all laid out, you know, yearsago, and in starting help
(26:04):
helping me get this off theground and starting this work
together. But it's exciting tothink about schools are
prioritizing this more and moreand more. And, and it's
definitely not going away.
Jason Ramsden (26:14):
Yeah, it's been a pleasure to kind of get started
with you and watch you grow,watch the company grow, to watch
it pivot throughout thepandemic, to add the social
emotional learning component, toadd a board of advisors who are
all about kids and kids health.
And you know, I only see greatthings for you in the future as
you continue to grow thecompany. And before I let you
(26:36):
go, I always have two questionsthat I asked my guests to close
out an episode. What, what'ssomething that most people don't
know about you? I'm tough whenyou're a public person, right?
Laura Tierney (26:52):
Most people don't know that I leave my phone
charging in the kitchenovernight. And I love
technology. I love social media.
But I also want to practice whatI preach, and I cannot get
sleep. When I have the phonenext to my bedside table. I just
(27:14):
cannot I am so tempted, like topick it up and check things. So
for me, it's totally like, outof sight, out of sight out of
mind.
Jason Ramsden (27:25):
And then the final question is, it's gonna be
a fill in the blank question. Sohappiness is
Laura Tierney (27:31):
being really self aware of what does and doesn't
make you tick. Because I thinkthat awareness can be in many
ways your North Star for a lotof the decisions you make, and
how you frame differentchallenges that you come across.
It's something that I'mconstantly working on, and
struggling with, and working on.
And for those reasons, like you,you never maybe have full self
(27:55):
awareness, but you can getcloser and closer. You know,
each each project you take oneach team you work with, and you
know, each week that passes. SoI think the self awareness is is
is the key to to happiness.
Jason Ramsden (28:13):
I appreciate you being with us today, Laura, it's
been a great conversation. Wherecan people find you online and
the work that you do?
Laura Tierney (28:21):
Well, you better believe I am on most social
media platforms. So you canalways, you know, connect on
LinkedIn or on Twitter, at LauraTierney, and but you can also
reach out to our organization ifthere's any way that we could
ever be helpful to you or otherparents or children. And that's
the social institute.com. Yeah.
Thanks, Jason.
Jason Ramsden (28:44):
Thank you, Laura.
Here are my three takeaways frommy conversation with Laura
today. The fear of failureshould be a motivator, not
something that paralyzes you andyour work. The social emotional
health of students and youngadults coming out of the
pandemic should be of utmostimportance for educators. And
finally, in life, we shouldfocus more on those things that
(29:04):
we can control rather than thosewe cannot control the
controllable is a strong lifemotto. If you liked today's
episode, please give us a fivestar rating wherever you listen.
And please share this episode asword of mouth is the only way
this shows message grows. Andfinally, as I close every show,
thank you for being here today,my friends, your gift of time
(29:28):
listening to the show means theworld to me. And as always be
well be happy be you. And untilnext time, may your quest for
positivity begin today.
Laura Tierney (29:44):
And how you frame different challenges that you
come across. It's something thatI'm constantly working on and
struggling with and working on.
And for those reasons like youYou never maybe have full self
awareness but you can get closerand closer
Jason Ramsden (30:00):
For more on my positivity quest, follow me at
underscore j y Ramsden onInstagram tik tok and Twitter.
If you like today's episode,please give us a five star
rating and review on yourfavorite podcast app or visit.
Jason calm and search forpositivity on fire. Positivity
on fire is a production ofimpact one media LLC. All rights
(30:22):
reserved.
My experience growing up is to avoid failure
(00:05):
at all costs. And sometimes evenyou know, to the point of
burnout because you are almostso afraid of failing that you
will do anything to avoid andthat has been a fear I've had to
think about head on.
Jason Ramsden (00:23):
Hi, I'm Jason Ramsden and I believe we can all
work on leading a more positiveand intentional life. And this
show details my journey bysharing my learning stories and
conversations with guests. Ifyou want to lead a more
intentional life focus on beingthe best view possible, please
subscribe today. Now, let's getinto today's episode. Low my
positivity posse and welcome toanother episode of positivity on
(00:46):
fire. Today, I had the pleasureof reconnecting with Laura
Tierney, the founder and CEO ofthe social Institute, whose
mission is to empower studentsto navigate social media and
technology in a positive highcharacter way lowers prior
experience in the social mediarealm involved helping build
strategies and campaigns forbrands including ESPN, Samsung,
(01:08):
Coca Cola, Travelocity Oakleyand Disney. Along with her
passion for competition, thisLED Laura's company to create a
unique gamified social mediacurriculum, which has been
featured on NPR and by theWashington Post and USA Today.
We cover a lot of ground intoday's show. So let's get
started with my friend. Andtoday's guest, Laura Tierney.
(01:30):
Laura, good to see you. Welcometo the show. Welcome to
positivity on fire,
Laura Tierney (01:34):
thank you for having me, it's great to be back
and talking with you.
Jason Ramsden (01:38):
It's been a while probably been a year or two
since we've actually interacteddirectly.
Laura Tierney (01:43):
That's right. But your influence on our work, I
feel like it's still felt in theday to day. So it's been a while
but also doesn't feel like it.
Jason Ramsden (01:52):
People may not know who you are. So I want you
to introduce yourself. And Ialso want to share what your
life motto is.
Laura Tierney (01:58):
I'm Laura Tierney, founder and CEO of the
social Institute. And my lifemotto is to control the
controllable knowing thatthere's not a lot of things that
we can control. But there aremany things that we can stay in
control of like our attitude andour interests and our goals. And
(02:22):
our priorities. And that hasreally helped me along the way,
Jason Ramsden (02:26):
control that control over what are you what
are you controlling right now?
Laura Tierney (02:30):
I am controlling it my you know, my outlook on a
Monday, a busy Monday afternoon,where there's a lot going on.
And I think it's you know, it'seasy to sometimes feel
overwhelmed by the times thatwe're going through these
unique, you know, times thatwe're navigating. But I think I
(02:51):
also think that for everychallenging meeting or
challenging conversation, you'reone step closer to something
positive happening. So I thinkI'm you know, controlling,
controlling my attitude and likeoutlook these days. The phrase I
use with our team is CTC. Socontrol the controllable. And
(03:12):
that's, that's all you could doat the end of the day.
Jason Ramsden (03:14):
Love it. And so people don't know you're you're
the founder and CEO of thesocial Institute. I know you did
that pre kids. So you've gotgrant, and then you got another
one on the way in a couple ofmonths. So you got a lot of
control the controllable goingon running pretty amazing
company. I know the mission ofthe social Institute is to fuel
(03:35):
students health, happiness, andfuture success. Now that's not a
positive mission. I don't whatis a positive mission? How did
it all come to be? telleverybody how it all came to be
Laura?
Laura Tierney (03:46):
Well, the social Institute is definitely a labor
of love and taking risks andkind of pursuing what fulfills
me, you know, at the end of theday, and so I started the social
Institute in 2016. And I'm sothankful because I got paired up
(04:08):
with you and your colleagues atravenscraft to think about this
mission of helping students andthe five inches between their
ears and making positive choicesespecially online. And that
started out as great I'm goingto be helping this one school,
you know, and maybe a fewothers, and over the years,
(04:32):
always go with your gut and makecertain decisions and five years
later, we're helping 150 schoolsacross the country 10s of 1000s
of students and has taken off ina way I never ever dreamt it
would when you and I and otherswere like reviewing surveys and
content together and very justgetting scrappy about it but
(04:55):
putting in you know the work.
I'm really grateful for the thechance I have now to help
students to build a team. But itdefinitely comes with taking
risks too at the same time.
Jason Ramsden (05:07):
What do you think has been the biggest risk in the
last five years?
Laura Tierney (05:11):
Oh, man, my experience growing up is to
avoid failure at all costs. Andsometimes even, you know, to the
point of burnout, because youare almost so afraid of failing
that you will do anything toavoid. And that has been a fear,
(05:33):
I've had to think about head on,you know, as we at, we're a
small business and during thepandemic, as we grew, the team
had to make other decisions, youknow, about growing the team or
not growing the team and justthat, that constant that that
fears in the back of your mind.
And so that's, I think that thatis one of the biggest risks I've
had to take is just acceptingthat. And, you know, even if you
(05:56):
if you fail, you know, you, yougave it your best shot, there's
certainly other day to dayrisks, you know, that come with
leading a team, or leading anorganization, the risk of
agreeing to something that mightnot be the best for you, or the
organization, the risk of hiringsomeone that might not be a
(06:19):
great fit for the culture. But Ithink if you constantly think of
like, well, what if in anegative way, you'll drive
yourself nuts, because there'sso many what ifs, that could
happen from a negativestandpoint. And so for me, the
thing I keep in the back of myhead well is like, well, if we
make this decision and go thisdirection, we can always pivot,
you know, no matter whathappens, and that has helped me
(06:43):
Just think, you know, navigatethe last five years and starting
a company, while you know,having two kids and juggling
everything that comes with it.
When you
Jason Ramsden (06:55):
talk about the fear of failure, and I've done
other episodes around that hereon positivity on fire, I want to
know what that that means toyou, especially as it relates to
control the controllable
Laura Tierney (07:07):
I think for for me, because what I'm doing is so
mission oriented, that fear offailure could mean letting that
mission down, you know, in oursense, like letting the students
down at the schools that weserve at the schools that we
want to serve, is an immenseweight to put on your shoulders.
(07:29):
And for me, that acts as adriver, but it also acts as
extra stress and pressure. Whenyou make it so lofty, like that.
And you step back then, okay?
The kids are going to be allright. Even if, even if even if
you do fail with this company,if we can stay positive about
(07:50):
what we're doing. And I thinkthat only just fuels your
success. I'm curious, whenordered some of the themes that
you all saw on previous podcastsaround fear of failure,
Jason Ramsden (08:06):
I think for me, I was telling my own story about
being afraid even to leap intodoing a podcast and starting a
company, everybody has fears,everybody has fears of failing
for whatever reason it may be,it may be how you were brought
up, it may be you don't want tolook poorly in the eyes of your
peers, you don't want to let aspouse or a partner down. And
(08:28):
sometimes you just don't knowenough about how to launch
something to even try. But youknow, I know the work that you
do. And then also the work thatlots of educators do today is
talking about how it's okay tofail because we learn from
failure. And so when we talkabout not fearing failing, or
(08:48):
not fearing failure, it's a wayto grow personally. And
professionally, depending onwhere you're you're choosing to
fail. For me failure is anoption. You talked about a
failure not being an option. Butit is an option, because it's
the only way you're going togrow and learn. So I'm curious,
all entrepreneurs fail at somepoint, or have a failing, what's
(09:09):
that been for you? What's beenyour biggest failing
Laura Tierney (09:12):
on there? There's small scale and large scale, I
think failures. And when I lookback on work with the social
Institute, the small, you know,one small failure, I remember
going into a meeting with apartner school and I had the
wrong logo. Up on the screen. Iliterally had a different school
(09:33):
reference with this meeting. Iremember walking out of there
just being like, oh, mygoodness, you know, just the
conversation that goes throughyour head after mistakes like
that you feel like a failurewhen moments like that you just
silly and then there's othermore large scale failures where
(09:54):
you might bring someone on toyour team and in retrospect,
they might might not be a goodfit, and you made that decision
and you're trying to nurturethem and, and grow with them.
And also you have to look attheir strengths and how it, you
know, fits the organization. Andif that's good for the long
term, and if it's not, you couldfeel like a failure as a leader
(10:16):
for making that initialdecision. But I think, kind of
like back to what you said,though, for me, failure has
always acted like a fuel to thefire, but at the same time, you
can take it so seriously to thepoint that you're not okay, at
all with failing, and you'refocused solely on perfectionism.
(10:37):
Because I find that you innovatea lot slower. When you're just
focused on being perfect, then Ithink that there's this great
principle with startups and thisgreat book called the lean
startup. And it talks about howthe most innovative
entrepreneurs can go throughthis circle of innovation. And
(11:00):
the faster you go through thiscircle, the more that you
innovate, and part of thatcircle is failing, and getting
feedback and implementing thatfeedback. And so if you can
measure and if you get kind ofnegative feedback from
measuring, I see that again,it's like only taking one step
forward, because you have nowmore input, you're a better
(11:21):
leader for it, you're a betterinnovator for it.
Jason Ramsden (11:24):
If you look back on this past year, what's been a
defining moment, talked a littlebit about fear of failure, and
kind of the things that maybeyou've learned from that along
the way. But in this past year,especially through COVID, what's
been a defining moment for you.
And it can be personal orprofessional,
Laura Tierney (11:40):
when COVID initially hit schools, and
schools began to really lockdown what they were doing with
the students, they locked downon budgets. as a, as a small
business. That was a scary time,because you didn't know, there's
(12:01):
just kind of also like fear ofthe unknown, you didn't know
what was going to happen. And Iremember our team getting
together. And we started justtalking with schools. And I
think that's one thing we'vedone really well over the past
12 months is we don't assume weknow what you know, our audience
wants, we want to go out andtalk to them and see what makes
(12:23):
you know, what makes them tickand what they their needs are.
And so that's what we did backto controlling the controllable.
Like, you could just controlthat inspiration and that input.
And then we out of that, out ofthose conversations, we ended up
launching a whole new productcalled winedt social life, and
it's lessons about currentevents and things going on in
(12:44):
society. And that ended uptaking off in you know, a few
months later. And the whole teamfelt like just rallied behind it
felt like it felt like someonejust giving you a ton of energy
during that time when manypeople didn't have energy at the
(13:04):
beginning of the pandemic,because we felt like we were in
control of something we were incontrol of how we responded to
this sort of unknown time andnot knowing how how schools were
going to react to COVID. Soprofessionally, that that stands
(13:24):
out to me as a defining momentwhere you, you make something
out of what you think might benothing. And then personally,
our family has started havingfamily meetings, even with our
little four and a half year oldson just talking about what each
of us needs to like get throughthe week, or to get through the
(13:46):
day. And that open likecommunication has come out of
the pandemic where we didn't dothat beforehand. But now, like
my husband knows, he can alwayscome to me and just say, hey,
like, here's what I need to getthrough this week, and it's
going to be a stressful week,things go a lot more smoothly.
When you're able to communicatewhat you personally need, you
(14:10):
know, to get to get through acertain time
Jason Ramsden (14:12):
chakra that open and transparent communication is
actually something good,
Laura Tierney (14:18):
right? That's right. That's right. And even
like our you know, little grantman has gotten in on it is a
four and a half year old tellingus what, what, what he needs,
even though sometimes like athird of his answer, usually
just like chocolate, chocolate,or something else. Right?
Jason Ramsden (14:36):
He's only forecasting what we all know is
Yeah, we need chocolatesometimes to get through a day.
Right when it's tough, though.
Laura Tierney (14:43):
Exactly. Exactly.
The students Yeah, the kids knowmore than than we think we can
take a lot of pointers for themas adults.
Jason Ramsden (14:53):
That is true.
That is true. Talked aboutcontrol controllable. You talked
about fear of failure and kindof learning from that. He talked
about things you've learned fromthe pandemic here in terms of
opening up family meetings andconversation, through all of
that, what's what's somethingthat you've learned about
yourself, or
Laura Tierney (15:11):
I've learned that you can always be learning that
you can always like, surroundyourself with people who have
been there done that before. Andyou can always take notes from
them. And I think of, you know,my, my interactions and in our
work together, like I think backto the time, like three years
(15:33):
ago, where I thought, I had agreat sense of where I wanted to
go with the social Institute.
And I remember sitting down andwatching one of your
presentations at the Atlasconference, I believe it was,
and you presented about theintersection of how schools are
making decisions based on data.
And that for me, it was like,mind blowing, and we ended up
(15:57):
incorporating that into justthinking about how do we
approach our work, that rangingto you're sitting down with my
colleagues, my teammates, whohave sometimes different
personalities, you know, than Ido, they might be more
introverted or more extroverted.
Right, and then, but learningnot only how to interact with
them, but how that is such astrength, and you know, what
(16:19):
they bring to the team and I, soI think, for me, it's just
you're always learning like younever, you never definitely
never know everything. And ifyou can have that mindset of,
you know, being humble andvulnerable, and have your ears
open, for different people thatcome in, into your life, I think
(16:40):
you could just be a sponge. Andso for me, the pandemic has
actually allowed me to use likeLinkedIn and zoom and, and other
tools to connect with so manydifferent people who have all
these great strengths, where Icould just learn a lot from
them. And sometimes it just thatstems from like reaching out on
(17:02):
LinkedIn and saying, Hey, I cameacross your profile, I was
reading an article on thiswebsite about your team's work
and would just love to hear moreabout it, there are silver
linings, and that that would beone silver lining, I definitely
look to from the last 12 months.
Jason Ramsden (17:19):
And I know you love acronyms, right CTN. So abl
always be learning, always canlearn something new. How do you
apply that in your daily work?
Laura Tierney (17:28):
Well, especially at the social Institute, we love
learning from students. And so Imake sure nearly every week we
have meetings with students,where we could ask them
questions about what they'reexperiencing, like, what does
your day to day routine looklike? What are your concerns
about starting school this fall,and I find that taking a seat,
(17:53):
coming to those calls, knowingthat you don't know everything
about the students and factsoften Far from it, of what
they're going through. And ifyou can sit there and truly,
actively listen to what they'regoing through and, and hear them
out and take those insights andapply it, you know, to our work.
It puts us in a position ofconstantly learning because what
(18:15):
students are navigating isalways changing, you know, from
year to year, and online andoffline. And that's definitely
one of the things I love aboutthis industry and this
organization is that technologyis changing so quickly. And then
when you combine that with how astudent's life is
developmentally changing soquickly, you're in a position to
(18:37):
just have nonstop learning.
every single week.
Jason Ramsden (18:42):
I know we serve a kids all the time, or around
their social media habits. Andyou also have student
ambassadors who are tend to becollege kids who are kind of
giving back to your programthrough internships and that
sort of thing. You've learned alot about kids, if you had to
give advice to parents, becauseyou know, my listeners are
parents and have kids. Likewhat's one piece of advice that
(19:04):
you would give to parents today?
about kids?
Laura Tierney (19:07):
I'm going to speak for the students on this
one because we actually havethis is a great question. And
it's a question we ask studentsto share. What advice would you
also give to parents and themost popular response that the
students shares that how socialmedia and technology, it's not
all negative, and it could beused for it could be used
(19:28):
positively, if we choose to seethe positives, and how it's not
going away anytime soon. And sothe more that we can empower and
equip, instead of scare andrestrict, you end up helping a
child, you know, set a child upfor success no matter what they
(19:48):
have to navigate, rather thanrestricting them from this world
that is not going away. And soit's taking I think your your
same foundation, you know, toyour work of positivity, and
applying it to the world ofsocial media and technology with
students
Jason Ramsden (20:05):
do parents whose kids not you know, work with the
social Institute, have abilityto get stuff at your site to
power equip themselves to workbetter with their kids,
Laura Tierney (20:16):
definitely, we have resources for parents free
resources were ranging fromfamily tech contracts that can
help your entire family, notjust the child or children, but
your entire family, navigatesocial media and technology,
like, like nearly everything wedo. We built it with students,
we built it with students at atravenscraft. And we have
(20:42):
optimized, you know, enhanced itover the years with input from
other students across thecountry, parents are able to go
in and get the, you know,rundown on different insights
about students, the most popularapps that students are using
across Middle School, acrosshigh school and beyond. And so
we're, we're hoping to be that,that friend in your corner,
(21:04):
that's not getting you ahead ofyour children. But we're we're
keeping you pretty close towhere your child is when it
comes to navigating social mediaand technology. And so parents
could head over to the socialInstitute COMM And there's a
Resources tab on our websitethat that lists a lot of these
great resources and downloads,and reports and more.
Jason Ramsden (21:26):
That's great, thank you. I know my listeners
are certainly gonna enjoy thoseresources. It's kind of like
that old commercial that used tosay the more you know, right,
the more parents can equipthemselves with knowledge about
kids and social media. I thinkthat's important. What right
now, what's the biggestmotivator in your life?
Laura Tierney (21:45):
Yeah, I see so many headlines these days about
what students are navigatingfrom a social emotional
perspective, their well being, Isee media, that news tends to
often cover a negative angle ona lot of topics. And for me, the
motivators, giving students somesort of inspiration and
(22:10):
positivity. And if I could craftsomething that even for 15
minutes of their day, helps themreframe how they might think
about their well being thisfall, we just launched a lesson
about thinking, you know,reflecting on what you need to
succeed this fall as, as astudent, even giving them that
(22:30):
1520 minutes, just like smileand connect with their peers, we
know connection is moreimportant than ever. Now, during
the pandemic. That's a hugemotivator for me, because it
feels like oftentimes, you'reswimming upstream, especially
when it comes to negativity,like there's so much of it to go
around in the world, especiallywhen you think about social
(22:50):
media and just media in general.
And so it's kind of motivatingto, to swim upstream, or go
against the grain, whatever youwant to call it. And, like put
more of that positive energyinto the world. And to do it in
a just a really relevant,relatable, engaging way for
students, which is the trickiestpart. But it's, it's an awesome,
(23:12):
awesome challenge.
Jason Ramsden (23:16):
And an important challenge to read is reading the
news today, actually, where astudy had come out and say that
the kids who are enteringcollege now the freshmen are the
most depressed and most anxiouskids ever to enter college. And
the types of things that aremotivating you right now, are
things that should be motivatingcollege educators and parents to
(23:38):
find resources to be able tobetter help kids through, it's
going to be a trying time forthem, right, they're coming out
of the year and a half of beingvirtual more or less than than
having to go off to college,which may most likely be in
person at the moment. And so ittook them to do that, I think is
a is a great challenge. And Iappreciate that you're trying to
(23:59):
tackle
Laura Tierney (23:59):
to build on that I read a statistic early on in
this work about how we care somuch certainly at schools about
student's academic success. Butin order to one big contributor
to a student's academic success,of course, is their social
emotional well being and howthat, you know, fuels child's
(24:22):
ability to be able to balanceschoolwork and focus on their
priorities and more. And so Ithink, I think there's a wave
coming a wave of socialemotional education and focus on
well being and self care. Andthat's going to come I think,
across k 12 schools acrosscolleges and universities across
(24:42):
companies and companies thinkingabout how they prioritize their
employees well being. And soit's, again, something coming
out of this pandemic is thatthat focus on supporting the
whole person and not just a partof a part of them.
Jason Ramsden (25:00):
So important, so important. I appreciate that a
lot. Because I think it's gonnabe, I think it's gonna be
critical for kids success in thefuture, that the whole social
emotional learning package, ifyou will, right, it's not just
academics, it's how theyinteract with others and how
they kind of go through life. Sowell done on that
Laura Tierney (25:20):
will include, I was gonna say, Well done, like
kudos to you all because I feellike you and your time at
Ravenscroft and the team atRavenscroft, you just, you all
saw into the future writing somuch about how this focus on
social media and technology, itwasn't going away. I mean,
(25:41):
you're, you're, of course, likeyour background, with
technology. And then youintersect that with, you know,
people's mindset. That's areally powerful thing,
technology and mindset andattitude. And so a lot of this
was just, you know, trying tokeep up with the vision that you
all laid out, you know, yearsago, and in starting help
(26:04):
helping me get this off theground and starting this work
together. But it's exciting tothink about schools are
prioritizing this more and moreand more. And, and it's
definitely not going away.
Jason Ramsden (26:14):
Yeah, it's been a pleasure to kind of get started
with you and watch you grow,watch the company grow, to watch
it pivot throughout thepandemic, to add the social
emotional learning component, toadd a board of advisors who are
all about kids and kids health.
And you know, I only see greatthings for you in the future as
you continue to grow thecompany. And before I let you
(26:36):
go, I always have two questionsthat I asked my guests to close
out an episode. What, what'ssomething that most people don't
know about you? I'm tough whenyou're a public person, right?
Laura Tierney (26:52):
Most people don't know that I leave my phone
charging in the kitchenovernight. And I love
technology. I love social media.
But I also want to practice whatI preach, and I cannot get
sleep. When I have the phonenext to my bedside table. I just
(27:14):
cannot I am so tempted, like topick it up and check things. So
for me, it's totally like, outof sight, out of sight out of
mind.
Jason Ramsden (27:25):
And then the final question is, it's gonna be
a fill in the blank question. Sohappiness is
Laura Tierney (27:31):
being really self aware of what does and doesn't
make you tick. Because I thinkthat awareness can be in many
ways your North Star for a lotof the decisions you make, and
how you frame differentchallenges that you come across.
It's something that I'mconstantly working on, and
struggling with, and working on.
And for those reasons, like you,you never maybe have full self
(27:55):
awareness, but you can getcloser and closer. You know,
each each project you take oneach team you work with, and you
know, each week that passes. SoI think the self awareness is is
is the key to to happiness.
Jason Ramsden (28:13):
I appreciate you being with us today, Laura, it's
been a great conversation. Wherecan people find you online and
the work that you do?
Laura Tierney (28:21):
Well, you better believe I am on most social
media platforms. So you canalways, you know, connect on
LinkedIn or on Twitter, at LauraTierney, and but you can also
reach out to our organization ifthere's any way that we could
ever be helpful to you or otherparents or children. And that's
the social institute.com. Yeah.
Thanks, Jason.
Jason Ramsden (28:44):
Thank you, Laura.
Here are my three takeaways frommy conversation with Laura
today. The fear of failureshould be a motivator, not
something that paralyzes you andyour work. The social emotional
health of students and youngadults coming out of the
pandemic should be of utmostimportance for educators. And
finally, in life, we shouldfocus more on those things that
(29:04):
we can control rather than thosewe cannot control the
controllable is a strong lifemotto. If you liked today's
episode, please give us a fivestar rating wherever you listen.
And please share this episode asword of mouth is the only way
this shows message grows. Andfinally, as I close every show,
thank you for being here today,my friends, your gift of time
(29:28):
listening to the show means theworld to me. And as always be
well be happy be you. And untilnext time, may your quest for
positivity begin today.
Laura Tierney (29:44):
And how you frame different challenges that you
come across. It's something thatI'm constantly working on and
struggling with and working on.
And for those reasons like youYou never maybe have full self
awareness but you can get closerand closer
Jason Ramsden (30:00):
For more on my positivity quest, follow me at
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(30:22):
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