June 4, 2025 • 12 mins
This one isn’t from a beach or a scenic overlook—it’s from the backseat of my brain.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about the mental baggage that somehow snuck into the van: the overthinking, the spiraling, and that inner critic who never shuts up. I share what it’s like to chase a dream life but still feel like you’re messing it up, how overthinking affects your body, and the quiet voice I’m learning to listen to instead.
We’ll get into:
•How your inner critic thrives on exhaustion and self-doubt
•The connection between anxiety, overthinking, and your gut health
•Why “just enjoying the moment” is sometimes the hardest thing to do
•The one daily habit that’s actually helping me turn the volume down
If your brain has ever sabotaged a perfectly good day with a spiral of “you’re not doing enough,” this one’s for you.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Today's postcard isn't from a place on the map.
It's from somewhere a littlelouder.
The backseat of my brain.
Because as it turns out, when Ileft for this trip, I
accidentally brought something Ididn't mean to.
I brought my inner critic, andshe is loud.
She didn't need a passport.
She didn't take up any space inthe van.
(00:22):
She didn't ask to come.
She didn't even help pack.
But she's had plenty to say.
That's what you're wearing?
Wow, another taco?
You should be getting B-rollright now.
Honestly, I'm not sure if she'sa travel companion or an unpaid
production assistant.
(00:42):
Hey, I'm Krista, and welcome toPostcards I Never Send.
I'm currently somewhere in a fanbetween Alaska and Argentina,
geographically and emotionally.
This podcast is part traveldiary, part spiraling, mostly
human AF.
This is where I say all thethings I never put into
captions, the conversations Iwas too scared to have, and the
(01:03):
thoughts that I scribbled intonotebooks that never made it to
the mailbox.
It's not about pretending I haveall the answers, it's about
sharing the mess, the magic, andeverything in between.
I'm just trying to make sense ofit all, and maybe help you feel
a little more seen in theprocess.
So whether you're on your ownjourney, or just eavesdropping
on mine, I'm really glad you'rehere.
(01:25):
Everyone has an inner critic,and if yours is anything like
mine, she never shuts up.
And she's always there whetheryou want her there or not.
Sometimes it's not even onethought.
Sometimes it's like 43 tabs openin my brain and I forget which
one's playing music.
That's what it feels like.
That is what she does to me.
(01:46):
It's like walking into acafeteria of children, all
talking above each other,Sometimes I wonder if there's 30
tiny little versions of meliving inside my head.
There's 50 unfinished thoughts,ideas, questions, and solutions
all torpedoing at me at once,making it impossible to latch on
to just one simple thought, onesimple idea, one simple answer
(02:09):
or solution.
It's impossible to focus,setting your brain into
overdrive.
My inner critic likes to enhancemy anxiety and make me overthink
everything.
She shows up when I postsomething and the likes are low,
when I wake up late, when I skipa hike, when I'm not making the
most of it.
Even before we crossed theborder, she was already talking.
(02:32):
She had things to say about theway I packed, what I forgot, how
my photos weren't good enough,how I didn't do enough research,
and how I should definitely bemore productive if I was going
to be living this dream life.
The worst part?
I believe her more often thannot.
Even in a beautiful place, evenwhen your body is rested and the
(02:53):
sun is warm and everythingaround you is telling you to
just be, she finds a way to makeyou question your existence.
I've started to notice thatshe's loudest when I'm tired,
and lately I've been tired alot.
She's loudest when I'm alreadyfeeling small, when I'm craving
validation instead ofconnection.
She's just loudest any time thatI'm not feeling my best.
(03:19):
Here's the thing.
She's not new.
She's been around forever.
Sometimes she disappears forshort periods of time, but then
she returns from hiding, feelingall renewed and full of all
kinds of crap to say.
Most of the time, she'sincredibly hard on me.
But sometimes, just sometimes,if I sit quietly long enough, I
(03:43):
can hear another voice beneathher.
There's another part of me thatspeaks up.
softer and gentler that tellsme, hey, maybe rest isn't
failure.
You are enough and you don'thave to prove that to anyone.
This moment is beautiful and youdon't need to earn it.
(04:04):
You are here and that's enough.
You don't need to have it allfigured out.
I've started to listen to hermore.
It's not always easy when you'reused to believing your louder,
meaner, more obnoxious innercritic She can be quite a bitch.
She triggers my anxiety and getsme overthinking every aspect of
(04:25):
my life.
And the thing is, it's not justannoying.
It's not just some harmlessbackground noise.
Overthinking and constantself-criticism, they do real
damage.
When your brain is constantly inoverdrive, worrying, spiraling,
trying to solve problems thathaven't even happened yet, your
nervous system doesn't know thedifference between an actual
(04:47):
threat and a mental one.
Your gut slows down because yourbody thinks it needs to
prioritize survival overdigestion.
Your stress hormones spike.
You release inflammatorychemicals that can throw off
your immune system, wreck yoursleep, and over time, actually
age you faster.
This isn't just emotionalburnout.
(05:09):
It's allostatic load.
The wear and tear on your bodyfrom chronic stress.
It messes with your digestion,your memory, your ability to
focus.
And long term, it can even leadto cognitive decline.
Like actual brain damage.
I read that and I was like, oh,okay, cool.
Love that for me.
(05:31):
So yeah, your inner critic mightnot take up physical space in
your van or in your life, butshe takes up a lot of mental
real estate.
And if you don't kick her outevery now and then, she will
absolutely trash the place.
This is what my inner criticsounded like this week.
You're starting a podcast?
How stupid is that?
Nobody's going to listen tothat.
(05:52):
What a waste of time.
That's what you're saying?
That's what you're going to talkabout?
Seriously, nobody's ever goingto listen to that.
How worthless.
How stupid.
Don't do that.
And probably like a billionother thoughts, but those are
some of the main ones that I wasable to pick out.
But here's what I chose tobelieve instead this week.
(06:14):
That gentler voice underneaththat's telling me, your stories
could help.
You'll help people feel seen andheard.
You're not oversharing.
You're just sharing the realshit that people don't often
hear.
You should do it.
It'll be good for you and it'llbe good for other people too.
Even if you help five people,that's enough.
(06:37):
I don't have all the answers fordealing with your inner critic,
but one of the things I startedto do and have been doing since
the end of March and I trulythink is helping significantly
is writing morning pages everymorning.
If you're unfamiliar withmorning pages, let me explain.
I learned this from a book I'mworking through called The
Artist's Way.
Essentially, every morning youwrite three whole pages of
(07:00):
whatever enters your mind.
Unfiltered, no prompts, nospecific topics, not an overview
of your day.
Don't worry about spelling, justwrite.
Don't worry about making yourhandwriting look good or
punctuation.
Write whatever crosses yourmind.
Nothing about it needs to flow.
You just need to write.
(07:22):
When I started off, I didn'tfully believe that it would
help.
I kind of thought it was dumb,but I started doing it anyways.
And Julia Cameron, the author ofthe book said, if you find the
idea of the morning pages dumb,write that in your pages.
If this is so dumb, why am Idoing this?
This is such a waste of myprecious time, is what comes to
your mind when your pen hits thepaper, write it.
(07:43):
If you suddenly think, oh myGod, I love blueberries, write
it.
If you have a headache and yourhead is pounding and that's all
you can think about, write it.
Write, my head hurts, it'spounding so hard, it's
throbbing, why won't it go away?
Just write whatever comes toyour mind.
If all you can think about wasyour girls' night last night,
(08:04):
write about your girls' night alittle bit.
Just write a few sentences, thenmove on to whatever thoughts
cross your mind.
If you have a thought that cutsoff your last thought, switch to
writing that.
Literally write everything thatcomes to mind.
Let it not make sense.
Let it be messy.
It helps you get rid of thebrain clutter and have an outlet
(08:24):
to release it.
It helps you get rid of allthese random and sometimes
useless thoughts.
Sometimes you're sitting therewriting and you think to
yourself, what the heck, that'ssuper random, or wow, I didn't
really realize that was on mymind.
It may sound like a waste oftime to some people, but trust
me, it really does help.
(08:44):
If you're listening to this andthinking, my brain never shuts
up either, you're not broken.
You might just need a pressurevalve.
Morning pages aren't magic, butthey're kind of like opening a
window to air out the mentalclutter.
Since I've started doing this,I've noticed that my inner
critic is quieter during theday.
I find myself a little moreoften being able to sit in the
van, on the beach, or whereverand just be at peace without
(09:08):
overthinking a single thing.
It's such an odd feeling to hearnothing but silence in your
mind.
It's not something I'm used to.
For once, I can actually processa single thought that comes
across my mind instead ofbattling 30 at once.
I even find myself being atpeace at night while laying in
bed trying to sleep.
(09:29):
That's usually the hardest partof my day because that's when
all the overthinking comesrushing in and flooding my mind.
I think that's when it hits alot of people.
And why is it always before bed?
Like, why does my inner criticthink, oh, it's 11.47pm, time to
bring up that one embarrassingthing I said back in 2012.
(09:49):
But it's less now.
It's a really weird feeling, butit feels pretty damn good.
This isn't to say she'scompletely gone away.
Some days she's louder and has aheck of a lot more opinions, and
some days she just sits on thesidelines and lets me do me.
And that's a big improvement,even if it's only 20% better.
These days, I try to track thetiny wins.
(10:11):
When I post something withoutspiraling.
When I let myself take a napwithout guilt.
When I hear her voice and don'tbelieve it.
If you've had one of those dayslately, celebrate it.
It means you're getting louderthan the voice in your head.
If you're listening to this andyour inner critic's been
especially loud lately, pausefor a second.
(10:31):
What's the one thing she keepsrepeating that you know isn't
true?
Say it out loud.
Great, now say, that is notmine.
Another super random tip forwhen your brain is going nutso
and won't shut up, ask yourself,what is my next thought going to
(10:54):
be?
Go ahead, ask yourself thatright now, and then listen.
What is my next thought going tobe?
Did your brain basically gosilent?
Mine did, and it always does.
At least most of the time, somaybe not always.
But it works more often thannot, even if it's just for 10
(11:14):
seconds.
And it works for a lot of otherpeople, too.
It's a neat little trick.
If I could send a postcard tomyself in those spiraling
moments, I would say, You don'thave to earn your rest.
You don't need to prove yourworth.
You're allowed to be here, evenwhen you feel unproductive, even
(11:35):
when your mind is loud.
The beauty of this life isn'thow perfectly you live it.
It's in the quiet moments whereyou learn to soften just a
little bit.
So exhale.
You're doing better than youthink.
If you constantly hear yourinner critic and assume they're
telling the truth, just knowthat they're not.
(11:55):
But I see you and I totally getit.
This has been Postcards I NeverSent from the backseat of my
brain, from the passenger Ididn't invite but couldn't leave
behind.
And even if she joins me onevery mile of this trip, she
does not get to drive.
And you shouldn't let yours takethe wheel of your life either.
Until next time, I'll be tryingto chill even if my inner critic
(12:20):
keeps sending mepassive-aggressive reminders.
Today's postcard isn't from a place on the map.
It's from somewhere a littlelouder.
The backseat of my brain.
Because as it turns out, when Ileft for this trip, I
accidentally brought something Ididn't mean to.
I brought my inner critic, andshe is loud.
She didn't need a passport.
She didn't take up any space inthe van.
(00:22):
She didn't ask to come.
She didn't even help pack.
But she's had plenty to say.
That's what you're wearing?
Wow, another taco?
You should be getting B-rollright now.
Honestly, I'm not sure if she'sa travel companion or an unpaid
production assistant.
(00:42):
Hey, I'm Krista, and welcome toPostcards I Never Send.
I'm currently somewhere in a fanbetween Alaska and Argentina,
geographically and emotionally.
This podcast is part traveldiary, part spiraling, mostly
human AF.
This is where I say all thethings I never put into
captions, the conversations Iwas too scared to have, and the
(01:03):
thoughts that I scribbled intonotebooks that never made it to
the mailbox.
It's not about pretending I haveall the answers, it's about
sharing the mess, the magic, andeverything in between.
I'm just trying to make sense ofit all, and maybe help you feel
a little more seen in theprocess.
So whether you're on your ownjourney, or just eavesdropping
on mine, I'm really glad you'rehere.
(01:25):
Everyone has an inner critic,and if yours is anything like
mine, she never shuts up.
And she's always there whetheryou want her there or not.
Sometimes it's not even onethought.
Sometimes it's like 43 tabs openin my brain and I forget which
one's playing music.
That's what it feels like.
That is what she does to me.
(01:46):
It's like walking into acafeteria of children, all
talking above each other,Sometimes I wonder if there's 30
tiny little versions of meliving inside my head.
There's 50 unfinished thoughts,ideas, questions, and solutions
all torpedoing at me at once,making it impossible to latch on
to just one simple thought, onesimple idea, one simple answer
(02:09):
or solution.
It's impossible to focus,setting your brain into
overdrive.
My inner critic likes to enhancemy anxiety and make me overthink
everything.
She shows up when I postsomething and the likes are low,
when I wake up late, when I skipa hike, when I'm not making the
most of it.
Even before we crossed theborder, she was already talking.
(02:32):
She had things to say about theway I packed, what I forgot, how
my photos weren't good enough,how I didn't do enough research,
and how I should definitely bemore productive if I was going
to be living this dream life.
The worst part?
I believe her more often thannot.
Even in a beautiful place, evenwhen your body is rested and the
(02:53):
sun is warm and everythingaround you is telling you to
just be, she finds a way to makeyou question your existence.
I've started to notice thatshe's loudest when I'm tired,
and lately I've been tired alot.
She's loudest when I'm alreadyfeeling small, when I'm craving
validation instead ofconnection.
She's just loudest any time thatI'm not feeling my best.
(03:19):
Here's the thing.
She's not new.
She's been around forever.
Sometimes she disappears forshort periods of time, but then
she returns from hiding, feelingall renewed and full of all
kinds of crap to say.
Most of the time, she'sincredibly hard on me.
But sometimes, just sometimes,if I sit quietly long enough, I
(03:43):
can hear another voice beneathher.
There's another part of me thatspeaks up.
softer and gentler that tellsme, hey, maybe rest isn't
failure.
You are enough and you don'thave to prove that to anyone.
This moment is beautiful and youdon't need to earn it.
(04:04):
You are here and that's enough.
You don't need to have it allfigured out.
I've started to listen to hermore.
It's not always easy when you'reused to believing your louder,
meaner, more obnoxious innercritic She can be quite a bitch.
She triggers my anxiety and getsme overthinking every aspect of
(04:25):
my life.
And the thing is, it's not justannoying.
It's not just some harmlessbackground noise.
Overthinking and constantself-criticism, they do real
damage.
When your brain is constantly inoverdrive, worrying, spiraling,
trying to solve problems thathaven't even happened yet, your
nervous system doesn't know thedifference between an actual
(04:47):
threat and a mental one.
Your gut slows down because yourbody thinks it needs to
prioritize survival overdigestion.
Your stress hormones spike.
You release inflammatorychemicals that can throw off
your immune system, wreck yoursleep, and over time, actually
age you faster.
This isn't just emotionalburnout.
(05:09):
It's allostatic load.
The wear and tear on your bodyfrom chronic stress.
It messes with your digestion,your memory, your ability to
focus.
And long term, it can even leadto cognitive decline.
Like actual brain damage.
I read that and I was like, oh,okay, cool.
Love that for me.
(05:31):
So yeah, your inner critic mightnot take up physical space in
your van or in your life, butshe takes up a lot of mental
real estate.
And if you don't kick her outevery now and then, she will
absolutely trash the place.
This is what my inner criticsounded like this week.
You're starting a podcast?
How stupid is that?
Nobody's going to listen tothat.
(05:52):
What a waste of time.
That's what you're saying?
That's what you're going to talkabout?
Seriously, nobody's ever goingto listen to that.
How worthless.
How stupid.
Don't do that.
And probably like a billionother thoughts, but those are
some of the main ones that I wasable to pick out.
But here's what I chose tobelieve instead this week.
(06:14):
That gentler voice underneaththat's telling me, your stories
could help.
You'll help people feel seen andheard.
You're not oversharing.
You're just sharing the realshit that people don't often
hear.
You should do it.
It'll be good for you and it'llbe good for other people too.
Even if you help five people,that's enough.
(06:37):
I don't have all the answers fordealing with your inner critic,
but one of the things I startedto do and have been doing since
the end of March and I trulythink is helping significantly
is writing morning pages everymorning.
If you're unfamiliar withmorning pages, let me explain.
I learned this from a book I'mworking through called The
Artist's Way.
Essentially, every morning youwrite three whole pages of
(07:00):
whatever enters your mind.
Unfiltered, no prompts, nospecific topics, not an overview
of your day.
Don't worry about spelling, justwrite.
Don't worry about making yourhandwriting look good or
punctuation.
Write whatever crosses yourmind.
Nothing about it needs to flow.
You just need to write.
(07:22):
When I started off, I didn'tfully believe that it would
help.
I kind of thought it was dumb,but I started doing it anyways.
And Julia Cameron, the author ofthe book said, if you find the
idea of the morning pages dumb,write that in your pages.
If this is so dumb, why am Idoing this?
This is such a waste of myprecious time, is what comes to
your mind when your pen hits thepaper, write it.
(07:43):
If you suddenly think, oh myGod, I love blueberries, write
it.
If you have a headache and yourhead is pounding and that's all
you can think about, write it.
Write, my head hurts, it'spounding so hard, it's
throbbing, why won't it go away?
Just write whatever comes toyour mind.
If all you can think about wasyour girls' night last night,
(08:04):
write about your girls' night alittle bit.
Just write a few sentences, thenmove on to whatever thoughts
cross your mind.
If you have a thought that cutsoff your last thought, switch to
writing that.
Literally write everything thatcomes to mind.
Let it not make sense.
Let it be messy.
It helps you get rid of thebrain clutter and have an outlet
(08:24):
to release it.
It helps you get rid of allthese random and sometimes
useless thoughts.
Sometimes you're sitting therewriting and you think to
yourself, what the heck, that'ssuper random, or wow, I didn't
really realize that was on mymind.
It may sound like a waste oftime to some people, but trust
me, it really does help.
(08:44):
If you're listening to this andthinking, my brain never shuts
up either, you're not broken.
You might just need a pressurevalve.
Morning pages aren't magic, butthey're kind of like opening a
window to air out the mentalclutter.
Since I've started doing this,I've noticed that my inner
critic is quieter during theday.
I find myself a little moreoften being able to sit in the
van, on the beach, or whereverand just be at peace without
(09:08):
overthinking a single thing.
It's such an odd feeling to hearnothing but silence in your
mind.
It's not something I'm used to.
For once, I can actually processa single thought that comes
across my mind instead ofbattling 30 at once.
I even find myself being atpeace at night while laying in
bed trying to sleep.
(09:29):
That's usually the hardest partof my day because that's when
all the overthinking comesrushing in and flooding my mind.
I think that's when it hits alot of people.
And why is it always before bed?
Like, why does my inner criticthink, oh, it's 11.47pm, time to
bring up that one embarrassingthing I said back in 2012.
(09:49):
But it's less now.
It's a really weird feeling, butit feels pretty damn good.
This isn't to say she'scompletely gone away.
Some days she's louder and has aheck of a lot more opinions, and
some days she just sits on thesidelines and lets me do me.
And that's a big improvement,even if it's only 20% better.
These days, I try to track thetiny wins.
(10:11):
When I post something withoutspiraling.
When I let myself take a napwithout guilt.
When I hear her voice and don'tbelieve it.
If you've had one of those dayslately, celebrate it.
It means you're getting louderthan the voice in your head.
If you're listening to this andyour inner critic's been
especially loud lately, pausefor a second.
(10:31):
What's the one thing she keepsrepeating that you know isn't
true?
Say it out loud.
Great, now say, that is notmine.
Another super random tip forwhen your brain is going nutso
and won't shut up, ask yourself,what is my next thought going to
(10:54):
be?
Go ahead, ask yourself thatright now, and then listen.
What is my next thought going tobe?
Did your brain basically gosilent?
Mine did, and it always does.
At least most of the time, somaybe not always.
But it works more often thannot, even if it's just for 10
(11:14):
seconds.
And it works for a lot of otherpeople, too.
It's a neat little trick.
If I could send a postcard tomyself in those spiraling
moments, I would say, You don'thave to earn your rest.
You don't need to prove yourworth.
You're allowed to be here, evenwhen you feel unproductive, even
(11:35):
when your mind is loud.
The beauty of this life isn'thow perfectly you live it.
It's in the quiet moments whereyou learn to soften just a
little bit.
So exhale.
You're doing better than youthink.
If you constantly hear yourinner critic and assume they're
telling the truth, just knowthat they're not.
(11:55):
But I see you and I totally getit.
This has been Postcards I NeverSent from the backseat of my
brain, from the passenger Ididn't invite but couldn't leave
behind.
And even if she joins me onevery mile of this trip, she
does not get to drive.
And you shouldn't let yours takethe wheel of your life either.
Until next time, I'll be tryingto chill even if my inner critic
(12:20):
keeps sending mepassive-aggressive reminders.
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