October 5, 2025 • 18 mins
After seven suicide attempts and years of stigma, mental-health advocate and trainer Shanika Suniyah Jordan chose help over silence. With host Barbara L. Parker, MA, LPCC-S, she unpacks faith vs. therapy, finding the right therapist (CBT/EMDR), and her “Release the DOPE” framework for letting go of shame, fear, and self-sabotage.
What you’ll learn
- Faith and therapy: why it’s not either/or
- How to find a therapist who fits (beyond “How does that make you feel?”)
- Hidden grief & early trauma → adult anxiety/depression
- “Release the DOPE”: ditching unhealthy habits to unlock purpose
- Why fitness supports mental health (confidence, serotonin, cortisol)
A private battle with depression can look like a normal life from the outside—until the day you meet your edge and realize you need a different kind of help. We sit down with mental health advocate and trainer Shanika Jordan to trace her path from a faith-only framework to trauma-informed therapy after a seventh suicide attempt became the turning point. What followed wasn’t magic or instant relief, but skillful work: finding the right therapist, embracing CBT and EMDR, doing uncomfortable homework, and building the muscles—mental and physical—that keep you steady when emotion runs high.
We explore the friction between religious stigma and real psychological needs, and how privacy protections make it possible to seek care without shame. Shanika shares how a therapist’s focused structure replaced vague “talking” with targeted tools, lighting up self-awareness where dogma had kept questions quiet. We connect the dots between movement and mood—burning off cortisol, boosting serotonin, and rebuilding confidence through consistent, accessible fitness. And we dig into “Release the Dope,” Shanika’s framework for dropping self-sabotage, guilt, and fear so your actual strengths can surface and guide purpose.
This conversation is honest, practical, and hopeful. You’ll hear how to evaluate therapist fit, why healing is a lifelong practice rather than a destination, and how purpose can be small, specific, and still profound enough to make you stay for tomorrow. If you’ve ever felt torn between faith and therapy, or stuck with a therapist who wasn’t a match, this story offers a roadmap: try again, ask better questions, and build a simple system you can keep. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review telling us the one belief about mental health you’re ready to let go of today.
• Book: A Powerful Divorce — reclaim peace & purpose
• BF Empowerment Center — counseling, coaching, MPAC youth program
• Guest: ReleaseTheDope.com | IG/TikTok: @releasethedope
• Follow: @powerfullybroken | @queenblparker | bfempowerment.com/pbp
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Barbara (00:00):
Welcome to Powerfully Broken Podcast, where we break
unhealthy relationships that arenegatively impacting your
mental health.
Today we have with us ShanikaJordan, who is a mental health
advocate, a survivor, and also apowerful, amazing trainer.
Um, that is how we met.
Themesong (00:26):
Powerfully broken but never defeated.
Oh yeah.
Barbara, bring the light.
Well, we already know.
When the storm rolling and yourspirit low, heart feels heavy,
and you moving slow.
Tears on your face, put yourhype.
Barbara (00:44):
I want to talk a little bit about your mental health
advocacy piece and how that wasborn.
Shanika (00:50):
Uh a long journey.
Uh long process of depressionand anxiety that was actually
hidden.
Um, I grew up hojick, Church ofGod of Christ.
And there was no such thing asdepression when I was a kid.
Just pray about it.
That's all we thought about,you know, just pray about it,
pray about it.
Um, and so as I grew up, Ididn't know that I was depressed
(01:11):
after being essayed at nine.
And I didn't know that I hadanxiety.
I'm just thinking, I'm justgoing through something.
I'm a kid, I don't know whatI'm going through.
Uh so I didn't actually know Iwas going through depression
until 2018, um, after my seventhsuicide attempt.
Barbara (01:27):
Oh wow.
Shanika (01:28):
And uh that's when I decided to just get the help
that I needed, even though itwas against church policy or
religion to go and get the helpthat I needed, I I needed it.
So uh it was just like a longbattle with uh religion and
depression.
Barbara (01:47):
So, in what part of that journey did you say enough
is enough?
I'm not gonna do this everagain.
Um, in 2018, after my seventhattempt.
Um What made that attemptdifferent than the others?
Shanika (02:01):
The fact that something was just like, this ain't it.
Something is wrong with you.
The first six, I didn't thinkanything was wrong with me,
except for I didn't have apurpose.
I didn't have a reason to behere.
I don't know anything, I don'tknow how to do anything.
I um I had to raise my sisters.
My mother died when I was 19,and then I had my daughters at
24, so now I have fourdaughters, and I don't even know
(02:24):
how to raise it.
I'm trying to raise myself.
I have to reparent myself.
And so I don't know what I'mdoing.
And because I don't know whatI'm doing, at this age, I should
be here or I should be there.
We're taught at a certain age,you should be doing something.
And really, honestly, we areexactly where we need to be.
Uh, but I didn't know that atthe time.
And so because I felt like Ihad no purpose and I didn't have
(02:47):
a life, the first six times,there's nothing wrong with me.
I don't know what happened asudden time.
I'm just like, there was like alight bulb just went in my head
off in my head.
Something is wrong, and this isnot normal.
And you shouldn't be on thisledge.
I'm gonna need you to step awayand go get the help that you
need.
Barbara (03:05):
So when you say this is not normal, let me ask you
this.
Was it that you had known otherpeople that had attempted or
had committed suicide to whereit was a normal thing?
Or like engage in self-harm oranything like that?
I never knew anyone who did it.
Shanika (03:21):
It's just that, and this is a crazy story.
I just knew that it was wrong.
Religion, you know, inreligion, yeah, suicide is
wrong.
It's a sin.
But then also, I'm terrified.
My grandfather had me watch uhIndiana Jones and the Temple of
Doom when I was a kid.
Let me tell you, you know, whenthe ground opens up and here
comes all the fire, that's theonly thing I could see at the
(03:43):
time.
And I'm thinking, okay, once Ijump, I'm I'm not even thinking
about the funeral.
I'm not thinking about my bodyjust splattering.
I'm literally thinking theground is going to open up and I
am going to go straight tohell.
Yeah, let me not do this.
Again, this isn't normalbecause it's a sin.
This is wrong.
Let me step back and let mefigure out how to get help
(04:05):
without other people evenknowing.
Because again, it's wrong forme to go get therapy.
I was taught this is that's nota good thing to do.
Barbara (04:14):
Right.
And I've had clients that havemet with me who were very
worried about family, friends,neighbors knowing that they were
getting therapy.
So having that conversationabout HIPAA privacy laws and
letting them know, like, hey,even if I'm coming into your
house, I can't tell anybody whoI am.
(04:34):
If they know who I am, it'sbecause you told them.
And if I see you on the street,I'm gonna act like I don't know
you.
And don't be offended.
It ain't that I don't like you,I'm mad at you, none of that.
It's because I'm respectingyour privacy.
So sometimes you have to, as atherapist, dispel the notion
that somebody else is gonna knowbecause there is so much shame
and stigma around it.
(04:56):
So, how did you overcome thatfear?
Shanika (04:59):
Uh therapy.
So, my first therapist, Ididn't know what a difference
between like therapies.
I just know I need a therapy.
Let me just go get some help.
So, my first therapist was uhjust about talk therapy.
I don't need somebody to sitthere and doodle.
This is not Freaky Friday.
You are not what whatever hername is, and I'm I'm I'm not
(05:20):
your uh uh client where you'resitting there doodling just
listening to me.
I don't need talk therapy.
Something is really, reallywrong with me, and I don't know
what it is.
I need you to tell me what'swrong with me so that you can
help me.
And so, like my first therapistjust like she sat there and
went, how does that make youfeel, girl?
This ain't going nowhere.
(05:40):
I'm I can't do it.
So it lasted only like twoweeks, and I'm like, okay, don't
give up.
Try to find, I have found twoother therapists.
They were okay, but it was talktherapy.
I needed so much, I needed CBT,I need an EMDR, I needed so
much.
And at the time I didn't knowthat I needed those things.
I need someone to tell me whatis wrong with me because the
only thing I know is religion.
(06:03):
I don't know anything.
I have no self-awareness.
I have like nothing.
You guys, you can see the topof my hair is growing out.
This is blonde, right?
Barbara (06:13):
When I tell you, I have had every single color.
Shanika (06:16):
But when I tell you, I was literally a dumb blonde.
Everything was just religion.
That's all I knew was Jesus,Jesus.
I didn't know anything elseoutside of church.
So I don't know why I'm goingthrough what I'm going through.
I don't know it's because I wasS8'd at nine.
I don't know it's because Ilost my mom at 19.
I don't know anything aboutgrief.
(06:36):
All I know is how to pray.
And so I needed someone toreally like to shake me or wake
me up.
And so my fourth therapist likeliterally saved my life.
And I always say, if, it's abig if, if I was gay, I would
have married her in 2.5 seconds.
When I say she saved my life,she saved my life in the way
(07:00):
like I don't think anybody elsecould have.
It was with the homework thatshe gave me, the questions she
asked me, and it's like a lightbulb went off in my brain, and I
woke up.
It's like my first spiritualawakening.
Oh my gosh, where have I been?
And you would think I've beenin a whole different world all
the time.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.
(07:21):
And so I went down a rabbithole of getting to know myself
and learn myself.
And like, oh my gosh, therapyis amazing.
And so I'm telling everybody, Idon't even care no more.
I'm just telling everybody howtherapy saved my life.
Therapy saved my life.
I yeah, like, and you know,religious people don't
understand that well.
God saved you like, no, I'msorry, but religion is cool.
(07:42):
But therapy saved my life.
I I I couldn't have done itwithout that therapist at all.
I don't care how much I tarriedat the altar.
I'm trying to tell you, Itarried and called on Jesus,
Jesus, Jesus so many times,y'all wouldn't.
I'm trying to tell you now,y'all should see how many boxes
of tissue I went through on aSunday morning, just yelling and
crying and screaming.
(08:02):
But therapy, like, it was it'snothing like it.
And so I, that's how I reallygot over it.
I don't care that they thinkI'm, they don't, I don't care
what they think.
It literally saved my life andit made me better.
And I had to tell my familymembers, I'm gonna need y'all to
go get some therapy becauseit's gonna make you a better
person.
And so I'm a big huge advocatefor therapy in the black
community.
(08:22):
It's it's definitely needed.
Barbara (08:24):
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
And you know, a lot of timesI've had, I've gone to therapy.
I'm in therapy.
Let me just be real.
Faithfully, eight o'clock inthe morning.
I got an appointment onSaturday.
I'm talking to my therapist.
And sometimes I'll call her inthe airport, like, hey, but this
today, uh, email, can we meet?
(08:46):
Because she is one of thosepeople who has the ability to
hear me listen to all the crazyand then be like, okay.
And the weird part about it isI'm a therapist talking to a
therapist, so then she's lookingat me like, I know you know the
answer to this.
Right.
But because of the emotion andthe logic center causes as one
(09:08):
goes up, the other goes down.
I need somebody to be on thelogic side when my emotions are
high.
I get it.
And so the other part of thatis it was she's probably 20
years down in my journey, butI've had therapists that did not
work.
Or we went to couples therapyand it did not work.
(09:29):
And figuring out, like, yeah,I've talked to clients and
they're like, well, I don't liketherapy, or that means
something's wrong with me.
No, it doesn't mean thatsomething's wrong with therapy,
that's something wrong with you.
What it means is that personmay not be a good fit for what
you need.
Yeah.
And figuring that out.
So I appreciate you stickingwith the journey of trying to
(09:51):
figure out what was gonnaactually work for you.
Yeah, yeah.
Shanika (09:55):
And I had the thing is I couldn't quit because again,
there's something wrong.
Something is wrong.
Or I'm gonna go back to thatledge.
Something is wrong.
So I have to find the righttherapist.
And again, I didn't even knowwhat I was looking for.
I had no idea what am I lookingfor?
But I when I found it, I'mlike, yep, this is it.
Right here, like the very firstassessment, it's the questions
that she asked.
And it literally made mereally, really dig deep into
(10:18):
myself and think.
And I'm like, ding, ding, ding,ding, ding.
Yep, this is the one.
This is the one.
Let's go ahead and stick withher.
And and again, I mean like forfour whole years, we went down a
rabbit hole.
I did CBT, and then there'ssomething else came up, and I'm
like, this is, I'm gonna behealing for the rest of my life.
And I didn't realize thateither.
Like, healing is a journey,it's not a destination.
(10:39):
You're not gonna be like, oh,I'm healed, and that's just it.
No, you're gonna be healingforever because there's always
something to heal from.
I could fall down the stairs,hey, now I gotta heal from my
dog or broken ankle, you know.
I can get uh somebody coulddump me and I don't gotta heal
my broken heart.
Some we're gonna always, alwaysbe healing.
So we're gonna always need youguys, always need therapists.
(11:00):
Now, I go back to school ifsomebody pays for a you know
full scholarship to be atherapist, but no, I'm good.
I'm cool.
I've like always ever sinceI've started, I'm like, I'm I
like to study psychology.
And I also like to know um, youknow, what people are thinking,
especially when it comes to myclients.
Does my client need therapy?
So I want to be able to umpinpoint that if they actually
(11:24):
are going through something.
And so I've actually umpartnered with you guys and with
other therapists just in casethey do, I have someone to send
them to.
Ad (11:32):
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brought to you by A PowerfulDivorce, the book by Barbara L.
Parker.
It's not just about endings,it's about rediscovering who you
are, reclaiming your peace, andrising stronger than ever.
Because you're not justsurviving, you're becoming.
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(11:56):
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Now back to our program.
Barbara (12:04):
Yeah, and I think also that has been like a two-way
role where when I'm sittingthere with a client and they're
struggling with theirself-esteem and depression.
Well, the thing that helps thatis working out and getting your
self-esteem back.
Because now you're looking atyour body have these changes.
Yes.
And it builds confidence, itburns off cortisol, gives you
(12:26):
um, impacts your serotoninlevels.
Like it makes you feel good.
Yes.
And so I've I can't tell youhow many clients I referred to
physical trainers.
Like, okay, I need to go overhere.
Okay, that one probably coststoo much for you.
Let's figure out this one.
This one's real inexpensive.
And, you know, because it'slike, oh, I can't do a personal
(12:46):
trainer, you cost too much, butyou never asked how much the
price was.
True.
So there's multiple people onjust ask.
Yeah.
Shanika (12:53):
That's it.
Just ask.
Yeah.
And again, there's a lot of uswho don't think of it that way.
Like, we're thinking, okay, andI want to be your mental and
your physical coach.
You know, like, okay, let'sfigure out your mental.
So I mean I mean I'm acertified life coach.
Probably the closest I'm gonnaget to being the therapist
again, unless somebody iswilling to just pay full price
for me to go back to school.
We take in donations.
But yeah, I'm I'm I'm like, soyou know, I gotta study that
(13:17):
myself.
Okay, so let me pinpoint is itwhat is it with you?
What is it?
It's the same thing with um,like I've said plenty of times.
And I don't mean to like bringthis this certain type of people
out, but let's back to thereligion.
You know, people who claimthey're believers shouldn't be
overweight.
(13:37):
They shouldn't be out of shape.
Why?
Because you claim that yourtemple is your is your you know,
your temple is your temple,yeah.
It's not just about the uh, youknow, thing having sex out of a
wedlock.
It's not just about thosethings, but what what are you
putting in your body?
What are you doing to yourbody?
Are you really taking care ofyourself?
And so I when I get a clientthat may claim, you know, you
(14:01):
know, well, God'll take care ofme, but you're supposed to be
taking care of you.
Everything that you need isalready inside of you.
Stop expecting God to gobippity bobbity boo, and you get
up and you go go do what it isthat you need to do.
And I'm like wondering, okay,but what makes you drive, you
know, uh what drives you to thefood that you're eating?
Themesong (14:17):
Yeah.
Shanika (14:18):
What is it?
Because it's it's more thanjust you being hungry.
Depression can drive you there.
That's what my 600-pound lifeis.
That's all depression andanxiety from childhood.
What didn't you hear from inyour childhood that makes you
run to the food all the time?
Yeah.
Let's get to the root cause ofthat.
And again, as a life coach, ifI can't help them find their
(14:38):
purpose or passion, that's whenI say, hey, I'm gonna need you
to go see a therapist.
Something else that you need tofigure out is is needs to come
out of you.
Let's re release the dope.
You know what I mean?
And that's exactly what dopestands for in my business.
We're gonna release the dope.
The dope is, you know, it'sit's a drug.
(15:01):
Back in the day, we used to saythat's, you know, dope.
And that's unhealthy habits,unhealthy eating habits,
unhealthy life habits,self-sabotage, um, shame, guilt,
fear.
You need to release all thatbecause what's on the inside of
you, your strength, yourconfidence, that's you can't
release that until you releasethe unhealthy.
So again, like today, dope is afun word.
(15:24):
It's a it's a positive word.
So I'm gonna need you torelease your inner dopness, but
first you gotta release all theunhealthy stuff first.
And then we'll release all theall the good stuff that's
actually in you and pull thatout of you.
And that also builds yourconfidence once you figure out
what your passion and yourpurpose is, and you're like, I'm
really doing this, and I'm I'mwalking in my purpose and
whatever it is.
I don't care if it's to hugpeople every single day.
(15:46):
You know?
So that's if that's what yourpurpose is, it doesn't have to
be this big grandiose thing.
Let's figure it out so that youcan stay here so that you can
won't be thinking those negativethoughts.
Let's figure it out along withyour physical health.
Barbara (16:02):
So, where can the people find you?
Shanika (16:04):
Oh, um, you can follow me.
Uh, my name is Shanika Jordanon Facebook, uh on Instagram at
uh release the dope, um, onTikTok at release the dope.
Um, and yeah, you can visitrelease the dope.com.
That is my uh my business.
Um, you can also purchase oneof my ladies.
My purpose is dope.
Um yeah, that's where you canfind me.
Barbara (16:27):
And one last question before I let you go.
What does powerfully brokenmean to you?
Shanika (16:31):
Oh my goodness, I am powerfully broken.
Let me tell you.
The things I've been through,let me tell you, it is
definitely powerful.
I feel like um everything thathas happened, um, has happened
in my life, did not happen tome.
It happened for me.
Everything that I am even goingthrough right now is happening
for me.
The question I always askmyself, what am I supposed to be
(16:52):
learning from this?
I'm gonna learn whatever I needto learn.
I'm gonna write my book.
I'm gonna definitely be amillionaire of that book because
I my life is a whole entirestory.
And um, yeah, I'm I'm I'mdefinitely powerfully broken.
I like that.
Yeah.
Barbara (17:09):
Well, I appreciate you taking the time to come be with
us.
And I know we had some timethings, and it's okay.
Yeah.
But you know, our conversationsare always amazing.
And, you know, you'lldefinitely be back on Powerfully
Broken.
I will.
And I want to again thankeverybody for joining us to
learn about mental health,suicidal thoughts overcoming um
(17:33):
systemic beliefs about whatmental health is and you
dispelling a lot of those myths.
And thanks for tuning in.
And we appreciate youunderstanding that being broken
doesn't mean that you are aproblem.
It means that you're unleashingthe power within.
And go and be awesome.
Ad (17:52):
This episode is proudly sponsored by BF Empowerment
Center, where healing isn't justpossible, it's powerful.
BF Empowerment Center helpsindividuals break barriers,
build healthier relationships,and unlock their true potential
for lasting transformation.
Follow at Queen BL Parker or atBF Empowerment.
Don't forget to like, comment,share, and subscribe to
(18:15):
Powerfully Broken Podcast.
Airing every Friday at 9 a.m.,Powerfully Broken empowers you
to overcome unhealthyrelationships that negatively
impact your mental health.
Themesong (18:29):
Powerfully broken, but never defeat.
Welcome to Powerfully Broken Podcast, where we break
unhealthy relationships that arenegatively impacting your
mental health.
Today we have with us ShanikaJordan, who is a mental health
advocate, a survivor, and also apowerful, amazing trainer.
Um, that is how we met.
Themesong (00:26):
Powerfully broken but never defeated.
Oh yeah.
Barbara, bring the light.
Well, we already know.
When the storm rolling and yourspirit low, heart feels heavy,
and you moving slow.
Tears on your face, put yourhype.
Barbara (00:44):
I want to talk a little bit about your mental health
advocacy piece and how that wasborn.
Shanika (00:50):
Uh a long journey.
Uh long process of depressionand anxiety that was actually
hidden.
Um, I grew up hojick, Church ofGod of Christ.
And there was no such thing asdepression when I was a kid.
Just pray about it.
That's all we thought about,you know, just pray about it,
pray about it.
Um, and so as I grew up, Ididn't know that I was depressed
(01:11):
after being essayed at nine.
And I didn't know that I hadanxiety.
I'm just thinking, I'm justgoing through something.
I'm a kid, I don't know whatI'm going through.
Uh so I didn't actually know Iwas going through depression
until 2018, um, after my seventhsuicide attempt.
Barbara (01:27):
Oh wow.
Shanika (01:28):
And uh that's when I decided to just get the help
that I needed, even though itwas against church policy or
religion to go and get the helpthat I needed, I I needed it.
So uh it was just like a longbattle with uh religion and
depression.
Barbara (01:47):
So, in what part of that journey did you say enough
is enough?
I'm not gonna do this everagain.
Um, in 2018, after my seventhattempt.
Um What made that attemptdifferent than the others?
Shanika (02:01):
The fact that something was just like, this ain't it.
Something is wrong with you.
The first six, I didn't thinkanything was wrong with me,
except for I didn't have apurpose.
I didn't have a reason to behere.
I don't know anything, I don'tknow how to do anything.
I um I had to raise my sisters.
My mother died when I was 19,and then I had my daughters at
24, so now I have fourdaughters, and I don't even know
(02:24):
how to raise it.
I'm trying to raise myself.
I have to reparent myself.
And so I don't know what I'mdoing.
And because I don't know whatI'm doing, at this age, I should
be here or I should be there.
We're taught at a certain age,you should be doing something.
And really, honestly, we areexactly where we need to be.
Uh, but I didn't know that atthe time.
And so because I felt like Ihad no purpose and I didn't have
(02:47):
a life, the first six times,there's nothing wrong with me.
I don't know what happened asudden time.
I'm just like, there was like alight bulb just went in my head
off in my head.
Something is wrong, and this isnot normal.
And you shouldn't be on thisledge.
I'm gonna need you to step awayand go get the help that you
need.
Barbara (03:05):
So when you say this is not normal, let me ask you
this.
Was it that you had known otherpeople that had attempted or
had committed suicide to whereit was a normal thing?
Or like engage in self-harm oranything like that?
I never knew anyone who did it.
Shanika (03:21):
It's just that, and this is a crazy story.
I just knew that it was wrong.
Religion, you know, inreligion, yeah, suicide is
wrong.
It's a sin.
But then also, I'm terrified.
My grandfather had me watch uhIndiana Jones and the Temple of
Doom when I was a kid.
Let me tell you, you know, whenthe ground opens up and here
comes all the fire, that's theonly thing I could see at the
(03:43):
time.
And I'm thinking, okay, once Ijump, I'm I'm not even thinking
about the funeral.
I'm not thinking about my bodyjust splattering.
I'm literally thinking theground is going to open up and I
am going to go straight tohell.
Yeah, let me not do this.
Again, this isn't normalbecause it's a sin.
This is wrong.
Let me step back and let mefigure out how to get help
(04:05):
without other people evenknowing.
Because again, it's wrong forme to go get therapy.
I was taught this is that's nota good thing to do.
Barbara (04:14):
Right.
And I've had clients that havemet with me who were very
worried about family, friends,neighbors knowing that they were
getting therapy.
So having that conversationabout HIPAA privacy laws and
letting them know, like, hey,even if I'm coming into your
house, I can't tell anybody whoI am.
(04:34):
If they know who I am, it'sbecause you told them.
And if I see you on the street,I'm gonna act like I don't know
you.
And don't be offended.
It ain't that I don't like you,I'm mad at you, none of that.
It's because I'm respectingyour privacy.
So sometimes you have to, as atherapist, dispel the notion
that somebody else is gonna knowbecause there is so much shame
and stigma around it.
(04:56):
So, how did you overcome thatfear?
Shanika (04:59):
Uh therapy.
So, my first therapist, Ididn't know what a difference
between like therapies.
I just know I need a therapy.
Let me just go get some help.
So, my first therapist was uhjust about talk therapy.
I don't need somebody to sitthere and doodle.
This is not Freaky Friday.
You are not what whatever hername is, and I'm I'm I'm not
(05:20):
your uh uh client where you'resitting there doodling just
listening to me.
I don't need talk therapy.
Something is really, reallywrong with me, and I don't know
what it is.
I need you to tell me what'swrong with me so that you can
help me.
And so, like my first therapistjust like she sat there and
went, how does that make youfeel, girl?
This ain't going nowhere.
(05:40):
I'm I can't do it.
So it lasted only like twoweeks, and I'm like, okay, don't
give up.
Try to find, I have found twoother therapists.
They were okay, but it was talktherapy.
I needed so much, I needed CBT,I need an EMDR, I needed so
much.
And at the time I didn't knowthat I needed those things.
I need someone to tell me whatis wrong with me because the
only thing I know is religion.
(06:03):
I don't know anything.
I have no self-awareness.
I have like nothing.
You guys, you can see the topof my hair is growing out.
This is blonde, right?
Barbara (06:13):
When I tell you, I have had every single color.
Shanika (06:16):
But when I tell you, I was literally a dumb blonde.
Everything was just religion.
That's all I knew was Jesus,Jesus.
I didn't know anything elseoutside of church.
So I don't know why I'm goingthrough what I'm going through.
I don't know it's because I wasS8'd at nine.
I don't know it's because Ilost my mom at 19.
I don't know anything aboutgrief.
(06:36):
All I know is how to pray.
And so I needed someone toreally like to shake me or wake
me up.
And so my fourth therapist likeliterally saved my life.
And I always say, if, it's abig if, if I was gay, I would
have married her in 2.5 seconds.
When I say she saved my life,she saved my life in the way
(07:00):
like I don't think anybody elsecould have.
It was with the homework thatshe gave me, the questions she
asked me, and it's like a lightbulb went off in my brain, and I
woke up.
It's like my first spiritualawakening.
Oh my gosh, where have I been?
And you would think I've beenin a whole different world all
the time.
And I'm like, oh my gosh.
(07:21):
And so I went down a rabbithole of getting to know myself
and learn myself.
And like, oh my gosh, therapyis amazing.
And so I'm telling everybody, Idon't even care no more.
I'm just telling everybody howtherapy saved my life.
Therapy saved my life.
I yeah, like, and you know,religious people don't
understand that well.
God saved you like, no, I'msorry, but religion is cool.
(07:42):
But therapy saved my life.
I I I couldn't have done itwithout that therapist at all.
I don't care how much I tarriedat the altar.
I'm trying to tell you, Itarried and called on Jesus,
Jesus, Jesus so many times,y'all wouldn't.
I'm trying to tell you now,y'all should see how many boxes
of tissue I went through on aSunday morning, just yelling and
crying and screaming.
(08:02):
But therapy, like, it was it'snothing like it.
And so I, that's how I reallygot over it.
I don't care that they thinkI'm, they don't, I don't care
what they think.
It literally saved my life andit made me better.
And I had to tell my familymembers, I'm gonna need y'all to
go get some therapy becauseit's gonna make you a better
person.
And so I'm a big huge advocatefor therapy in the black
community.
(08:22):
It's it's definitely needed.
Barbara (08:24):
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
And you know, a lot of timesI've had, I've gone to therapy.
I'm in therapy.
Let me just be real.
Faithfully, eight o'clock inthe morning.
I got an appointment onSaturday.
I'm talking to my therapist.
And sometimes I'll call her inthe airport, like, hey, but this
today, uh, email, can we meet?
(08:46):
Because she is one of thosepeople who has the ability to
hear me listen to all the crazyand then be like, okay.
And the weird part about it isI'm a therapist talking to a
therapist, so then she's lookingat me like, I know you know the
answer to this.
Right.
But because of the emotion andthe logic center causes as one
(09:08):
goes up, the other goes down.
I need somebody to be on thelogic side when my emotions are
high.
I get it.
And so the other part of thatis it was she's probably 20
years down in my journey, butI've had therapists that did not
work.
Or we went to couples therapyand it did not work.
(09:29):
And figuring out, like, yeah,I've talked to clients and
they're like, well, I don't liketherapy, or that means
something's wrong with me.
No, it doesn't mean thatsomething's wrong with therapy,
that's something wrong with you.
What it means is that personmay not be a good fit for what
you need.
Yeah.
And figuring that out.
So I appreciate you stickingwith the journey of trying to
(09:51):
figure out what was gonnaactually work for you.
Yeah, yeah.
Shanika (09:55):
And I had the thing is I couldn't quit because again,
there's something wrong.
Something is wrong.
Or I'm gonna go back to thatledge.
Something is wrong.
So I have to find the righttherapist.
And again, I didn't even knowwhat I was looking for.
I had no idea what am I lookingfor?
But I when I found it, I'mlike, yep, this is it.
Right here, like the very firstassessment, it's the questions
that she asked.
And it literally made mereally, really dig deep into
(10:18):
myself and think.
And I'm like, ding, ding, ding,ding, ding.
Yep, this is the one.
This is the one.
Let's go ahead and stick withher.
And and again, I mean like forfour whole years, we went down a
rabbit hole.
I did CBT, and then there'ssomething else came up, and I'm
like, this is, I'm gonna behealing for the rest of my life.
And I didn't realize thateither.
Like, healing is a journey,it's not a destination.
(10:39):
You're not gonna be like, oh,I'm healed, and that's just it.
No, you're gonna be healingforever because there's always
something to heal from.
I could fall down the stairs,hey, now I gotta heal from my
dog or broken ankle, you know.
I can get uh somebody coulddump me and I don't gotta heal
my broken heart.
Some we're gonna always, alwaysbe healing.
So we're gonna always need youguys, always need therapists.
(11:00):
Now, I go back to school ifsomebody pays for a you know
full scholarship to be atherapist, but no, I'm good.
I'm cool.
I've like always ever sinceI've started, I'm like, I'm I
like to study psychology.
And I also like to know um, youknow, what people are thinking,
especially when it comes to myclients.
Does my client need therapy?
So I want to be able to umpinpoint that if they actually
(11:24):
are going through something.
And so I've actually umpartnered with you guys and with
other therapists just in casethey do, I have someone to send
them to.
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brought to you by A PowerfulDivorce, the book by Barbara L.
Parker.
It's not just about endings,it's about rediscovering who you
are, reclaiming your peace, andrising stronger than ever.
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(11:56):
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Now back to our program.
Barbara (12:04):
Yeah, and I think also that has been like a two-way
role where when I'm sittingthere with a client and they're
struggling with theirself-esteem and depression.
Well, the thing that helps thatis working out and getting your
self-esteem back.
Because now you're looking atyour body have these changes.
Yes.
And it builds confidence, itburns off cortisol, gives you
(12:26):
um, impacts your serotoninlevels.
Like it makes you feel good.
Yes.
And so I've I can't tell youhow many clients I referred to
physical trainers.
Like, okay, I need to go overhere.
Okay, that one probably coststoo much for you.
Let's figure out this one.
This one's real inexpensive.
And, you know, because it'slike, oh, I can't do a personal
(12:46):
trainer, you cost too much, butyou never asked how much the
price was.
True.
So there's multiple people onjust ask.
Yeah.
Shanika (12:53):
That's it.
Just ask.
Yeah.
And again, there's a lot of uswho don't think of it that way.
Like, we're thinking, okay, andI want to be your mental and
your physical coach.
You know, like, okay, let'sfigure out your mental.
So I mean I mean I'm acertified life coach.
Probably the closest I'm gonnaget to being the therapist
again, unless somebody iswilling to just pay full price
for me to go back to school.
We take in donations.
But yeah, I'm I'm I'm like, soyou know, I gotta study that
(13:17):
myself.
Okay, so let me pinpoint is itwhat is it with you?
What is it?
It's the same thing with um,like I've said plenty of times.
And I don't mean to like bringthis this certain type of people
out, but let's back to thereligion.
You know, people who claimthey're believers shouldn't be
overweight.
(13:37):
They shouldn't be out of shape.
Why?
Because you claim that yourtemple is your is your you know,
your temple is your temple,yeah.
It's not just about the uh, youknow, thing having sex out of a
wedlock.
It's not just about thosethings, but what what are you
putting in your body?
What are you doing to yourbody?
Are you really taking care ofyourself?
And so I when I get a clientthat may claim, you know, you
(14:01):
know, well, God'll take care ofme, but you're supposed to be
taking care of you.
Everything that you need isalready inside of you.
Stop expecting God to gobippity bobbity boo, and you get
up and you go go do what it isthat you need to do.
And I'm like wondering, okay,but what makes you drive, you
know, uh what drives you to thefood that you're eating?
Themesong (14:17):
Yeah.
Shanika (14:18):
What is it?
Because it's it's more thanjust you being hungry.
Depression can drive you there.
That's what my 600-pound lifeis.
That's all depression andanxiety from childhood.
What didn't you hear from inyour childhood that makes you
run to the food all the time?
Yeah.
Let's get to the root cause ofthat.
And again, as a life coach, ifI can't help them find their
(14:38):
purpose or passion, that's whenI say, hey, I'm gonna need you
to go see a therapist.
Something else that you need tofigure out is is needs to come
out of you.
Let's re release the dope.
You know what I mean?
And that's exactly what dopestands for in my business.
We're gonna release the dope.
The dope is, you know, it'sit's a drug.
(15:01):
Back in the day, we used to saythat's, you know, dope.
And that's unhealthy habits,unhealthy eating habits,
unhealthy life habits,self-sabotage, um, shame, guilt,
fear.
You need to release all thatbecause what's on the inside of
you, your strength, yourconfidence, that's you can't
release that until you releasethe unhealthy.
So again, like today, dope is afun word.
(15:24):
It's a it's a positive word.
So I'm gonna need you torelease your inner dopness, but
first you gotta release all theunhealthy stuff first.
And then we'll release all theall the good stuff that's
actually in you and pull thatout of you.
And that also builds yourconfidence once you figure out
what your passion and yourpurpose is, and you're like, I'm
really doing this, and I'm I'mwalking in my purpose and
whatever it is.
I don't care if it's to hugpeople every single day.
(15:46):
You know?
So that's if that's what yourpurpose is, it doesn't have to
be this big grandiose thing.
Let's figure it out so that youcan stay here so that you can
won't be thinking those negativethoughts.
Let's figure it out along withyour physical health.
Barbara (16:02):
So, where can the people find you?
Shanika (16:04):
Oh, um, you can follow me.
Uh, my name is Shanika Jordanon Facebook, uh on Instagram at
uh release the dope, um, onTikTok at release the dope.
Um, and yeah, you can visitrelease the dope.com.
That is my uh my business.
Um, you can also purchase oneof my ladies.
My purpose is dope.
Um yeah, that's where you canfind me.
Barbara (16:27):
And one last question before I let you go.
What does powerfully brokenmean to you?
Shanika (16:31):
Oh my goodness, I am powerfully broken.
Let me tell you.
The things I've been through,let me tell you, it is
definitely powerful.
I feel like um everything thathas happened, um, has happened
in my life, did not happen tome.
It happened for me.
Everything that I am even goingthrough right now is happening
for me.
The question I always askmyself, what am I supposed to be
(16:52):
learning from this?
I'm gonna learn whatever I needto learn.
I'm gonna write my book.
I'm gonna definitely be amillionaire of that book because
I my life is a whole entirestory.
And um, yeah, I'm I'm I'mdefinitely powerfully broken.
I like that.
Yeah.
Barbara (17:09):
Well, I appreciate you taking the time to come be with
us.
And I know we had some timethings, and it's okay.
Yeah.
But you know, our conversationsare always amazing.
And, you know, you'lldefinitely be back on Powerfully
Broken.
I will.
And I want to again thankeverybody for joining us to
learn about mental health,suicidal thoughts overcoming um
(17:33):
systemic beliefs about whatmental health is and you
dispelling a lot of those myths.
And thanks for tuning in.
And we appreciate youunderstanding that being broken
doesn't mean that you are aproblem.
It means that you're unleashingthe power within.
And go and be awesome.
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Center, where healing isn't justpossible, it's powerful.
BF Empowerment Center helpsindividuals break barriers,
build healthier relationships,and unlock their true potential
for lasting transformation.
Follow at Queen BL Parker or atBF Empowerment.
Don't forget to like, comment,share, and subscribe to
(18:15):
Powerfully Broken Podcast.
Airing every Friday at 9 a.m.,Powerfully Broken empowers you
to overcome unhealthyrelationships that negatively
impact your mental health.
Themesong (18:29):
Powerfully broken, but never defeat.
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