DIY Your Peace: How Diahnna Curtis Turns Houses into Healing (On Any Budget)

Your home is your nervous system. Realtor & creator Diahnna Curtis shows how to set energy boundaries, ditch chaotic relationships, and use small DIYs to turn any space into a calming, beautiful refuge—without big money.

What you’ll learn

• Energy hygiene: placing people at the right “distance” without drama
• Scent & sound therapy at home (lavender, woodsmoke, ritual cues)
• Budget-friendly DIYs that actually change how your space feels
• Project cadence: start tiny → stack wins → maintain momentum
• Raising creators: modeling grit so kids become fearless makers

What if the bravest renovation is the one you make to your life? We sit down with Diahnna Curtis—realtor, creativity maven, and president of a historic minority real estate trade chapter—to trace a journey from misaligned marriage to solo homeownership, from chaos to calm, and from projects as chores to projects as therapy. This is a story about choosing your climate on purpose: if one of you wants Canada and the other craves Mexico, wish each other well and pack accordingly.

We dig into the art of the graceful exit: no fireworks, no speeches, just a firm boundary that keeps your mind clear and your spirit light. Diahnna shares how she protects her peace—blocking harmful messages, refusing to host secrets in her spirit, and measuring relationships by equilibrium: do the perks outweigh the costs emotionally, mentally, and financially? When the math doesn’t math, she steps back with love. That same clarity powers her home life, where small, consistent DIY wins—an accent wall, shelves, a refreshed mantel, the steady anchor of lavender—turn rooms into refuge.

You’ll also hear how leadership can crowd a house with banners and gear, and how reset rituals—leaving for a night, returning with fresh eyes—restore order. Diahnna’s hands-on grit became a family language; her daughters now tackle renovations with the same courage, proving that resilience is learned by doing. Expect practical takeaways: start tiny, embrace imperfect first attempts, and design spaces that hold you when the world gets loud. Expect heart, too: you can love someone and still choose distance; you can be powerful and still need rest.

If you’re ready to trade draining habits for healthy boundaries and transform your home into a sanctuary, this conversation is your blueprint. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs calm more than clutter, and leave a review to help others find the show. Your peace is worth the work.

Support the show

Shop: www.bfempowerment.com/shop

Follow: @powerfullybroken | @queenblparker | bfempowerment.com/pbp
Book: A Powerful Divorce
Therapy: BF Empowerment Center 526 South Main Street Akron, Ohio 44311

Watch Powerfully Broken Podcast airing on Fridays at 9am.

Episode Transcript

Barbara L Parker (00:00):
Welcome to Cowboy Broken Podcast, where we
break unhealthy relationshipsthat negatively impact our
mental health.
Today I have with me DeannaCurtis, who is the president of
the Akron Roses and a realtor,as well as the queen of
creativity.
She is able to see somethingraw and make it beautiful.
She helped with like, I mean,creating literally something out

(00:25):
of nothing.
We made my entire weddingbeautiful because of all the
things that she did.
And, you know, you have beenjust an amazing friend and just
to everyone.
You're just like the world'sbest filter.

Intro/Outro (00:50):
Powerfully broken but never defeated.
Oh yeah.
Barbara, bring the light.
Well, we already know.
When the storm rolling and yourspirit low, heart feel heavy,
and you're moving slow.
Tears on your face, but you'remy favorite.

Diahnna Curtis (01:08):
Thank you.
I feel like I've been blessedto have been best friends.
I mean, all of you arephenomenal.
Doing your own thing, have yourown business, writing books.
So look, I'm I'm blessed to bein that circle, right?
So, and thank you for having mehere.
This is amazing.
I'm just so super proud of you.

Barbara L Parker (01:32):
I ain't gonna cry.
We ain't no big thing.

Diahnna Curtis (01:35):
And our our girls' night, and we all get
together.
Oh my gosh.
Yes, it is like two days long.
People not going on to theirhusbands.
Fire department coming.

Barbara L Parker (01:51):
Police department, okay.
They never look like theyadvertise on TV.
That's something to put in thenext time a request form.

Diahnna Curtis (02:03):
Yeah, I mean, we're so fire to put our fire
out, but that was it.

Barbara L Parker (02:13):
Yeah, great.
You you are a firebug.
You made the Blair Witchproject fire.
We're good to you also.
I will make sure you have someice cream.
I was a reason.
I will y'all will see thisfire.
And the fire, the fire, thefires in my fireplace are

(02:37):
nothing compared to the outsidefirefire.
That thing was like eight toten feet tall.
Trees are not safe for yourbackyard.
That's why they just like Igive up.

Diahnna Curtis (02:58):
I'm not gonna lie.
Yeah.
You're good at it though.
And they just I love the woodsmell when it burns.
Yes.
I love the alliance of it.
It's warm.
So yeah, we just did one acouple of weeks ago.

Barbara L Parker (03:11):
Yeah, it's therapeutic.
Like if I smell hickory orcedar, it's just it takes me
back to a happy place.
So having those differentscents and smells at your home,
whether you have like an infuseror you have, you know,
fireplace or just a bonfire, youknow, making that place your

(03:33):
own.

Diahnna Curtis (03:33):
Yes.
And so I believe in thatholistic living, right?
So to me, lavender is calming,soothing.
So there's lavender in thehouse.
There's just those smells, likeyou said, they help create your
moon, change your moon,calming, relaxing, right?
So, and I'm I love the factthat you have what breaking
those tie, those unhealthy tiesbecause that's that's so major,

(03:58):
just to walk away fromrelationships that you know are
not healthy for you.
They are not serving you in apositive manner, right?
And you know, to me, I don'thave to have a big discussion
about it or a big go-out aboutit.
I don't even tell you aboutyourself.
I just need to stop talking toyou.
And I'm so glad you know I havebroke friends, that I'm not had

(04:20):
to do that with.

Barbara L Parker (04:24):
Yeah, I'm I'm very much that person.
Uh, and I was just having thisconversation with my son Delmore
about it's okay when you breakup with someone because y'all
are different people.
If you're on two differentpaths, I'm not mad that you want
to go to Canada and I want togo to Mexico.
I like you warm.
You want to be cold.

(04:45):
That's cool.
There's no problem with that.
And sometimes I have thoseconversations of hey, you're
perfectly good human all on yourown, but together it's gonna be
strife.
And I'm not gonna do this.
And I wish you all the love andhappiness and joy in the world
in Canada.
But I'm headed on down here toMexico, where the food is good

(05:08):
and the heat is there.

Diahnna Curtis (05:09):
Right.
So and there's thoserelationships where you know
where they belong.
Like you belong in this circle,you belong close enough to I
can call you when I want to cry.
You belong in this circle whereyou do business, you do casual
and large, and that's where youare.
So um you just you place themwhere they where they're the

(05:32):
healthiest, really.
So for him, if he's healthierthere, you're healthier here,
that's what works.

Barbara L Parker (05:38):
Right.
Yeah.

Diahnna Curtis (05:40):
You don't have to argue about that adjourn.
Because, like for me, beingaround y'all, I'm wrong into
that.
Like you say, it doesn't haveto be a blow-up, it doesn't have
to be an argument.
I don't need to have to tellyou about yourself.
If I feel like we're betterseparated, then I can just
simply separate myself and Italk to you, not be bothered.

(06:00):
And it's not even so much thatI'm angry or that I hate you.
Um, most times I don't.
I I still care, I still lovethat person, I still want the
best for that person.
I just know I can't deal withthat person.
Um but that came a time in alot of uh wisdom and

(06:24):
encouragement.
Yeah, a lot of it you justdon't want secrets in your
spirit.
So there's times that I've gotan angry text messaging.
I'm hungry because I don't wantto know the stuff that I don't
want it in my mind, I don't wantit in my brain, I don't want to
think about it, so I don'tread.
Because I don't want itaffecting me.

(06:47):
So I know that I may have toblock you because I don't want
you sending me that kind ofstuff.
So it's just that is protectingme that I learned over the
years of dealing with somethings that I shouldn't have
been dealing with, that I wantit guarding me the same as I
guard my children, the same as Iguard my friends.

(07:10):
Like I don't go to back for youguys, right?
Then I realized I didn't go toback for me.
You took some stuff youshouldn't have been taking.
So now I've learned love mejust as much as I love everyone
else.
And so it's a whole notherthing that I had to apologize to
me and say, I'm sorry I didn'tlook out for you.

(07:31):
But now took me the wrong way,and I'm like, sure.

Barbara L Parker (07:42):
Yeah, so like breaking those unhealthy habits.
So sometimes a person is just ahabit.
Um, you know, I was also hadthis really long conversation
with Delmore where, you know,you keep giving and extending
the opportunity to somebody, andthen you find out like they
aren't showing up.

(08:03):
They're not doing what you needthem to do.
And at some point you just haveto say, why am I doing this?
Why am I stressing myself out?
Is this a qualifier to be in arelationship with me?
Or is this a disqualifier?
Is the perks of being in thisrelationship outweighing the
cost?
Is we come into some kind ofequilibrium, or is this like

(08:25):
costing me more?
Whether it's mental,energy-wise, financially, am I
overinvesting myself?
And then saying, okay, if I am,then I need to pull back or I
need to exit, because it's notgonna serve you to keep pouring
into an empty cup.

Diahnna Curtis (08:44):
Yeah, and sometimes it's just what are we
feeder into each other?
Because you can end up in a ina in a relationship where I
think each person bringssomething different.
So you will have a differentrelationship with Mary if Mary
brings something different thanI bring, right?
So if you and I are energytogether, is that I don't really

(09:05):
have any good positive feedbackto you, I'm always criticizing,
then sooner or later thatbecomes our relationship where
we're just criticizing eachother.
You don't want to hear what Iso those I watch, those type of
relationships.
How are you coming with yourenergy?
Who are you coming as?
Can you give compliments toother people?

(09:26):
Are you okay with watchingsomeone else succeed and be able
to um be comfortable withyourself to where you can
encourage another person?
So I've watched thoserelationships and their energy
because I don't want to thenstart reciprocating the same
thing back.
That's not who I am.
When you start realizing you'renot really, you don't even see

(09:49):
yourself anymore because youchanged in your relationship,
especially with a with apartner.
Next thing you know, you don'teven recognize yourself.
So yeah, so for me, I need toalways know who I am and
recognize everyone and love oneverybody around me, and I don't
want the energy.
So that's probably why I do somany projects.

(10:11):
Um, because they're soothing tome.
They're comfortable working onthose things, and um, I enjoy
it, and it's time with myself.
And so someone coming into mystates, you gotta understand I
might be in the garage workingon a project.
It's like you come out and joinme, right?

(10:31):
Or you stay in the housesomewhere, but um that is my
time to reflect, to think, andit gives me joy to see a
finished product also.
So that's why you know a friendis such a crap, and because I
had to.
Tell me more about that.
One, I've always kind of likedto do some crafts, but I learned

(10:57):
how to do more house craftsbecause I purchased a house on
my own with two little girls intow, right?
And it was it was it neededwork.

Barbara L Parker (11:08):
No, I don't want you to go back to that
little statement.
You said off camera, becausethat that baby was everything.

Diahnna Curtis (11:14):
So I'll say it the way you gave it to me.
I was you I was married, I wasmarried, and I had wanted to buy
my first house.
They had bought a house before,yeah, and um I said I want to
buy a house, and so I wentlooking, and we talked about
buying a house, and he had beenlike 10 years into this, and

(11:37):
almost 10, nine, nine years,right?
And so I wanted to, I startedlooking with the realtor, and I
noticed he would never go.
So I said, okay.
So one day I'm sitting theretrying to go through the list
that the realtor and I are gonnago through the next day, and he

(11:58):
said, I'm not moving.
And I said, I anticipated that.
I'm okay with that.
I got pre-approved by myself,so I'm moving.
So that's what I did.
So I think he wasn't expectingmy response to be.
He wasn't expecting the CanadaMexico response.

(12:20):
I'm like, I talked to the bank,I'm good to go by myself.
I really don't need G to be theboot.
So I ended up buying the house,getting divorced, and moving.
So um it was it was a house inorder to get in the neighborhood
I wanted to be in, I had to getsomething that needed some work
to it.

(12:40):
And so pay to pouring, stufflike that.
So I jumped into theseprojects, um, which have turned
into one project after theother.

Barbara L Parker (12:57):
But the thing about your house, even though
you're doing one project afteranother, it never looks like a
construction zone.
Right.
It's always very polished, verygorgeous.
And what keeps coming to mindis like the Christmas party in
the silver tree and the girlsdoing flips and stuff.

Diahnna Curtis (13:15):
So that's as if y'all don't know behind the
scenes and Christmas rollingaround.
I'm trying to hurry up andfinish the project.
Okay, so there's two things Iwant I want you to hit on.
One is you say we don't see thebehind the scenes, but I've
seen some.
Um, but what does it feel liketo have us come into that space

(13:41):
and to know that in your mindit's a project after project
after a project?
So you're looking aroundthinking, ooh, I gotta do this,
ooh, I need to take care ofthat.
But we come into the space andwe're like, yeah, this is what
we want our house to look like.
We got right, right.
I was gonna say my downfall iswhen I see a bunch of houses all

(14:04):
the time, right?
And then I'm always looking atstuff online, so I see something
new.
Like right now, I'm puttingsome shelves in the bathroom.
I don't have to, but I want to.
So some of the stuff is justbecause I want to.
So you know they have thoselike rustic looking shells in
the bathroom with their likelimited day.

(14:24):
Yeah, that's what I'm going tothe hardware store to pick up
and I'm gonna put over betweentoday and so it's those things.
Um, so a lot of times andrepaint, and you guys know I
painted uh and now I'm ready topaint some other colors because
I don't like those colors andwhatnot.
So so that's why it's ProjectDr.

(14:48):
Because I know I can do it.

Barbara L Parker (14:50):
Yeah.

Diahnna Curtis (14:50):
But I also said I had to I need to stop it.
So now I'm gonna go too.

Barbara L Parker (14:54):
Well, you see how the one project I did went
where I was trying to do thetextured wall with the gold and
the blue, and I did it again,and then I did it again, and
then I did it, and I was like,oh, it's pretty, and then I
moved.

Diahnna Curtis (15:09):
And that's what I'm saying.
You see me because you know youcan do it.
Yeah.
So um, you know, so that'spretty much why I keep doing
project after project.
And right now I'm working onthe garage because I want the
garage to be an extension of thehouse, right?
So we can hang out and put thescreen up on the parking garage
and the garage is on and cleanand freshly painted and all that
stuff.

(15:29):
So yeah.
I'm doing that.
But when I get it, okay, yeah.
But it's it's I like, you know,I like entertaining.
I like for you guys to comeover at one point and we're
calling it the adult Chuck Echeese.
Yes.
It's still adult Chuck E.
Cheese.
We didn't stop.
So that's part of it.

(15:55):
And I want people to becomfortable when they get there,
and I like to be comfortable inthe spring.
So I like to say it's it's it'squiet.
I don't do it by myself.
I don't require other people tohave to do it with me.
I just get put a floor in forthe storage shed to put the
lumbo in, and somebody droppedthe lumbar off for me, and then

(16:16):
they brought the plywood to thefloor, and they're like, Well,
let me see what you did in thefloor.
Oh, I'm impressed.
I was like, Okay, I'll have mytable saw.
Who are you talking to?
So um it holds the right onmore.
So I I figure I'm pretty goodat doing it.

Barbara L Parker (16:38):
Yeah.
So having a house that's fullof peace instead of chaos is a
much higher value than living ina house of chaos.

Diahnna Curtis (16:49):
Oh, absolutely.
That's your refuge to me.
My my house is refuge.
So when I when everything elseis chaotic, I can along, I can
grab grab a glass of wine or sitdown, um, read a book or do
something, work, you know, workfrom home a lot too, but it's my

(17:09):
refuge.
So it's important to say how Ilike it.
Now, with me being president ofthis organization, which I
didn't get to say is thelargest, which is the oldest
minority trade organization inexistence.
We are Ahern Realty, it's justa board of um, it's a chapter of
a national, the NationalAssociation of Real Estate

(17:32):
Brokers.
So it was founded in the 1940s,1947, out of a need of
discrimination againstminorities and housing, right?

Ad (17:40):
This segment of the powerfully broken podcast is
brought to you by A PowerfulDivorce, the book by Barbara L.
Parker.
It's not just about endings,it's about rediscovering who you
are, reclaiming your peace, andrising stronger than ever.
Because you're not justsurviving, you're becoming.
And that's a powerful follow atQueen BL Parker or at BF

(18:03):
Empowerment.
Don't forget to like, comment,share, and subscribe to
Powerfully Broken Podcast.
Now back to our program.

Diahnna Curtis (18:13):
So so in this process, I'm starting to have to
keep the stuff with me at home.
Um, the banners, thetablecloth, you know, all this
the organization's things.
Um, we had a successful golfouting and the sides are all at
my house.
I didn't know where to put thisstuff.

(18:34):
So now I have to rearrange andget garage space and stuff space
so I can comfortable and keepthis.
So when Mary came and helpeddump everything in my stuff
right there when you come in andwe dump the stuff there.
I didn't stay there at night.
I left.
I called, I said, I I'm notstaying there with disgusting

(18:58):
because I couldn't, my mindcouldn't process it.
I would either have stayed uphalf the night trying to figure
out what to do with it, and Ijust said, This just feels
overwhelming.
So I I did not stay.
I wanted to spent the nightsomewhere else, and then came
back the next day and do it.
And I wanted a peaceful routehere to be.
And so sometimes I just youhave to do that for yourself.

(19:22):
Just go and get away and getthe clutter out of your mind.
And that was the only way I wasgonna do that.
For somebody, you said you wentfrom being married, wanting to
buy a house with your husband,finding out or realizing that he
wasn't verbally saying hewasn't willing to do that, that

(19:43):
he was getting all the signals,um, going ahead and pushing
forward by yourself, and thensaying, okay, I got these, I got
this house, I want to livehere, I know it's gonna be a
project, but I wanted to behome, I wanted to be
comfortable, I wanted to bepeaceful.
I don't know there's certainthings that I want in my house.
Um giving that, what is youradvice to somebody who maybe is

(20:10):
looking to or has a home andthey want to turn it into that
space that they hear us talkingabout, but they may not have a
lot of resources to do it with.
You mean in terms of projects,doing things?
Right.
Um one pick small things thatyou can do, especially to start.

(20:33):
So I could I started out withsmall projects.
Um I might, you know, my firstprobably time fixing drywall was
preparing the hole that thedoor knock did.
You know, those kind of things.
And then the next thing youknow, I'm cutting a wall out in
the kitchen to the living roomto open that space out, right?

(20:53):
So sometimes um, and and I didthat because I was calling
around for a contractor whowanted somebody to say something
to me I didn't like, and then Iwanted I was in tears because
it was more of a propositionwhere you don't have to pay me,
you can give me something elseinstead.
So I was crossed.
I was like, this is this is ourvalue.

(21:16):
So this is how you talk towomen.
So then I said, you know what,I'll dry wall it myself.
So we have Google, went to thehardware store, got the things I
needed in my drywall getsmyself.
Um I it took me a little bit toget it perfect, to get it
straight.
But um you can do it.

(21:42):
So I'd tell you, you can do it.
Start small.
Painting is one easier thing todo.
I know a lot of people feellike it's hard, but if you just
pick a room or a wall, pick onewall so you can start and paint
that wall, pick a color that youlike and do an accident wall.
Um, just get your tape and lineup the baseboard and um get

(22:03):
your roller out and paint.
So just pick small projects.
Put a shelf up on the wall.
I took shelves off thefireplace.
So the fireplace had um, theyhad covered the brick with
shelving and I stripped off theold paint stuff they had on it,
and I took this one, took theshelves off first and stripped

(22:24):
the paint off.
And then I bought trim andtrimmed out the mantle part of
it.
And that was an easy projectfor me to do.
Just strapped up here.
Put a shelf up, take a shelfup.
You've done a tough one.
We've talked you through someover the phone.
And then get a girlfriend andsaying that'll come over and

(22:48):
help them work on it or friends.
I was gonna say, well, youknow, I'm the queen of watching
DYI things on TV and going tothe store and buying it, and
then calling you later and belike, um, they only did this in
the half an hour.
I've been at this for twohours, and it don't look nothing
like what they did on TV, and Ineed some help.
And your first time doing it isnot gonna be a half an hour.

Intro/Outro (23:15):
No.

Diahnna Curtis (23:17):
So um I would encourage anyone, don't let it
scare you.
I know it scared my mother whenshe came to look at the house.
And she said, um, you know, Isaid, Mom, did if she had this
look on her face again, belooking at people's faces and
reading faces.
She said, Well, I'm concernedbecause I know you you will work

(23:37):
sunup, sundown to get thisdone.
And I'm just concerned thatyou're gonna work yourself.
And I did.
I did kitchen cabinets, almostpassed out at Home Depot.
I got light headed and realizedI hadn't eaten in three days.
Oh, wow.
Because it was the moving in.
So I had to pull up carpet, doall that.
Um, and and even my girlshelped.

(23:58):
We took sledgehammers to stuff,and they had a great time
tearing out some things.
And they have grown up to bewomen who do projects at their
house or take care of projectsat their house.
They don't may not physicallydo it, they may hire someone,
um, but they know kind of whatto do.
They're not afraid of it.
But you laid the foundation.
And that's what one of us said.

Barbara L Parker (24:19):
And not only did you lay the foundation, tell
me a little bit about yourdaughter's business in um
California, because that wasprobably birthed out of this,
your hardship, birthed the nextgeneration to have success.

Diahnna Curtis (24:32):
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, they they'rethey have they were living in
homes, renovating, and thenmoved, selling it.
So they did pretty well.
Her husband initially bought acondo for about 50,000, and they
sold it for over 250,000.

(24:52):
Um, they lived in it for acouple of years or something
like that.
And then they did the nexthouse and they did the next
house.
And now when they're in abeautiful house where they
redone the backyard, and and sheshe actually had her video
online where she talked to herhusband about painting the guest
room that or wanted to, andthey weren't agreeing on cover.

(25:14):
She said, I'm telling you,there's a look right.
And he was like, Ah, I'm notsure.
So she stuck a towel under thedoor and went in there and
hurried up and painted the room.
She fell off the ladder.
Oh no, had to run out the doorand pretend she fell in the
hallway as he's coming up thestairs.

(25:34):
Saying, What is the you okay?
She's like, oh yeah, I'm fine.
This whole thing, she has avideo, it's so funny.
And ended up loving it.
So she did like the lines onthe wall and did this whole
thing.
So, and they have said, Mom,it's because she said, I was a
kid some days, I was hatingthose projects.
But she said, But I learned alot from them, mostly part of

(25:56):
the yard work.
But she was my kid thatdisappeared on the yard work.
She'd be out there an hourlater, she's still using the
bath.
So she finally confessed my momwas up there watching TV.
Every time I heard you coming,I would run in the bathroom.
I was like, I knew you wasn'tthere for an hour or so.

(26:18):
But they they both have my myher daughter um in Columbus,
she's done projects at herhouse, and she's gone and gotten
a uh credenza.
Her dining room is beautiful.
Um what do you call them?
Oh buffet.
And she refinished it, and itlooks absolutely amazing, but

(26:43):
they're not afraid of theproject.
She's cut legs off of furnitureto bring it down to where she
wanted to think.
She took a big table and turnedit into a big coffee table.
Yeah, so yeah, they're crazylike their mom with their such.

Ad (26:58):
This episode is proudly sponsored by BF Empowerment
Center, where healing isn't justpossible, it's powerful.
BF Empowerment Center helpsindividuals break barriers,
build healthier relationships,and unlock their true potential
for lasting transformation.
Follow at Queen BL Parker or atBF Empowerment.
Don't forget to like, comment,share, and subscribe to

(27:22):
Powerfully Broken Podcast.
Airing every Friday at 9 a.m.,Powerfully Broken empowers you
to overcome unhealthyrelationships that negatively
impact your mental health.

Intro/Outro (27:35):
Powerfully broken, but never to be.