September 28, 2025 • 16 mins
After a 17-year relationship ended, veteran and artist Brian D. Nordstrom Jr. hit an unthinkable low—then rebuilt from the inside out. In this raw conversation with host Barbara L. Parker, MA, LPCC-S, Brian shares how therapy, Buddhism, creativity, and a service dog helped him choose life, self-love, and purpose.
The path from despair to self-discovery rarely follows a straight line. In this raw and deeply moving conversation, veteran Brian Norson shares his journey through the darkest moments of his life to finding profound self-love and purpose.
When a 17-year relationship suddenly ended, Brian found himself at rock bottom. Covering mirrors because he couldn't stand his reflection and contemplating suicide on his 50th birthday, he credits his service dog Miles Walker with the moment that saved his life. "I had a gun in my mouth... I looked at my dog and thought, he'll never understand. How could I do that?" From that pivotal moment, Brian began the slow, challenging work of rebuilding himself.
Buddhism became Brian's philosophical framework for healing, teaching him the compassion he desperately needed to show himself. "I started saying it out loud in the shower—you deserve this, you're a good man. And then right after, I'd say, 'You're a fucking liar,' because I couldn't get past myself." Through persistent self-work, meditation, and therapy for his PTSD, Brian gradually reclaimed not only his mental health but also his artistic passions that had been neglected during his relationship struggles.
Today, Brian creates beautiful furniture pieces, has purchased a home with a workshop, and practices meditation four times daily. His perspective on his journey reflects profound wisdom: "I would never change what happened to me. The things and trials I've gone through, I'm glad I went through them because I'm the best man I've ever been in my life now." For anyone struggling with trauma, relationship loss, or thoughts of suicide, Brian's story offers a powerful reminder that healing begins with self-compassion and that our darkest moments don't define us—they refine us.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Barbara Parker (00:03):
Welcome to Powerfully Broken podcast, where
we're breaking unhealthy habitsthat negatively impact our
mental health.
I have with me um our lovelyBrian Nordstrom, who is a
veteran, a victory, a victorover trauma, and a family man.
And I just want to thank folksfor taking the time to be with
(00:24):
us today.
And he's on his journey ofbecoming a Buddhist.
And so it's been an incrediblejourney since I've met you.
And I just want to thank youfor being here.
Oh, it's great being here.
It's been a journey to say theleast.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, before we started, we weretalking a little bit about um
where you started when we met.
(00:46):
Um, tell me a little bit aboutthat.
Yeah, I was um going through areal bad separation.
Uh, 17 years I was with uhsomebody, and um it was just uh
a thing that she was uh gettingdistant, and then she just
decided that it was over.
Um in 17 years, and um probablythe hardest thing that I had to
(01:10):
go through in my life and thatthat hurt you I never thought
would ever go away.
You know, so that's how we metin therapy here, which um I
honestly got to say by comingsee you and going through
everything, those sessions,because if I like I said, if I
would have done this, just keptit bottled up inside, I wouldn't
(01:30):
be here today.
There's no way I would haveended my life for sure.
Um, and uh, you know, we hadthe conversation now.
You said, you know, I was oneof the ones that you were
worried about that was gonnahappen.
You stay on the heart.
Brian Nordstrom (01:42):
And uh it's uh definitely something that
crossed my mind for severalmonths.
It took a long time to me forme to get past that.
Um my 50th birthday, I wasalone by myself in my apartment.
I'm a disabled bed, so I havemy my service dog.
So um my dog just sitting therewatching me.
(02:04):
I had a gun in my mouth.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday was mybirthday.
I was gonna pull the trigger onSunday.
Um, and that was the lowest ofthe low.
And I looked at my dogs likethat, he'll never understand
that.
How could I do that?
And from that point, rightthere, and I bet you at that
point, that's when our sessionsgot better, and um everything
just started to turn around andum trying to figure out how to
(02:28):
get back.
So that's how we started seeingeach other.
That was the reason why.
Barbara Parker (02:33):
Yeah, because I remember when we initially
started our sessions, we wouldtalk about you were just laser
focused on this has to work.
Everything you did, everydecision you made was in service
of that goal of having thatrelationship reunified.
(02:56):
And the thing I knew you neededwas to rebuild who you were.
You're such an artist.
Um, you do metalwork, woodwork,um, music.
Like you are, you have anartist's heart.
And that was the thing that youwere neglecting was the love of
(03:19):
yourself.
And so even that art you haveon your body was like, I think
we took like a month to actuallyget you to have the courage to
just take that leap of gettingsomething you wanted for over 10
years.
Right.
Tell me a little bit about whatthat looked like for you.
Brian Nordstrom (03:40):
Um, I mean, for for me to become who I am now
um and um evolving, becauseyou're right.
I I I wanted uh that to work100%.
And I was doing everything forher to make it work, but I was
neglecting everything that I wasdoing that I love to do.
(04:01):
Um, so uh a buddy of mine hadsaid um to me, you know,
self-talk, you gotta say it.
You're you deserve this.
It's your divine right to behappy.
You create your own happiness.
Don't let anybody take thatfrom you and say it out loud,
manifest it, put it out there,think it, visualize it.
So um, when I first starteddoing that, I remember doing
(04:21):
that um and saying it out loudin the shower, saying, you know,
you deserve this, you're a goodman.
And then right after I get donesaying, I'd be like, You're a
fucking liar.
You know, because I couldn'tget past myself, I hated myself.
And um I didn't do anything forme.
It was always trying to fix thesituation, was was unfixable.
But being there, I I don't knowthat.
(04:43):
I I think I can, you know.
So eventually I came to a pointwhere um I started to believe
in myself.
Um, I had uh covers on all mymirrors because I I look at the
mirror and I'd punch it becauseI hated myself that bad.
So um being that I started tofind myself um through Buddhism,
(05:03):
um, because I have a lot ofgood friends that, you know, and
it's not just I mean, Buddhismis just a philosophy, is all it
is.
I mean, it's every religion ispredominantly the same thing.
Treat people good, compassion,you know, understanding.
When somebody cuts you off,don't flip them off.
You know, they don't you don'tknow what their day was like.
You don't know if their motherjust died, you know, say hi to
(05:23):
them or something because if youget on them, that could change
everything for them, or it couldchange everything great and
change a ripple in the world foreverything.
You know, one kindness couldchange so many different things.
So I started learning aboutthat and I started forgiving
myself.
And uh finally I got to a pointwhere you know I forgave myself
(05:44):
entirely.
I started loving myself again,putting myself first.
And um, you know, I uh meditatefour times a day.
You know, it's just a way ofcalming myself down and being
able to um bring myself to apoint where no matter what the
(06:04):
situation in front of me is, Ialmost know that that doesn't
define me at all.
One situation and like what Iwas going to do with the guy and
stuff, that long-term uhsituation that would have been
the end for a very short-termproblem.
Barbara Parker (06:20):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (06:20):
So if anybody's listening, please understand
that that is exactly the way itis.
Every single situation in yourlife, it's just defining you at
that point, but it's making youa whole person, and you survive
these things to make youstronger.
So that's what a lot that I'velearned by becoming a Buddhist
and understanding that thecompassion for yourself first.
(06:42):
You have to have thatcompassion because if you don't
compassion for yourself, you'renot gonna have any for anybody.
So the compassion for me, Ifinally figured it out.
And I love myself more thananything in the world that makes
me love everybody else the sameway now.
unknown (06:55):
Yeah.
Barbara Parker (06:56):
I'm sorry, I know sometimes my facial
features give a differentmessage than what is, but I was
sitting here just glowing somuch because I hear me telling
you don't make a long-termdecision based on a short-term
situation.
And you could not see thelight.
(07:17):
You could not see that on theother side of this thing that
had broken you, that you wouldbe a stronger, better person.
And you could take all thethings you learned along the way
and improve who you were fromthe beginning.
Um, it was, you know, findinglife in a hopeless situation.
(07:37):
Because even the decision toget your baby when he was a
puppy was like it was it waslike pulling teeth, man.
Like I was struggling with, youknow, I appreciated that, you
know, I could be honest with youas a therapist and say, I don't
(08:00):
think this is gonna serve you.
You know, this, you know, therewas a lot of times we were
having conversations that Iwanted you to just try it, just
do it.
Because your other dogs thatyou had have brought you so much
joy.
Right.
And so it was like this gaveyou hole that you needed to
(08:23):
feel, was unsure about feelingit.
And so bringing this emotionalsupport animal into your life
literally saved your life.
Brian Nordstrom (08:33):
Absolutely saved my life.
Barbara Parker (08:34):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (08:34):
I mean, we talked about that, and when I
tried to get past it, I wastrying such an abstract way of
doing it, but I was justmimicking the life that I had
with them.
So I I literally searched forprobably six, seven months for
the exact same breed, exact samedog that I left behind that I
(08:55):
wasn't allowed to take that Imissed dearly.
Barbara Parker (08:57):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (08:58):
You could take two pictures of them side by
side, you wouldn't know who waswho right now.
But I tried to do that, so Iwanted to mimic that life again.
I went as far as getting thesame vacuum cleaner to clean my.
I mean, I tried to doeverything to keep that life in
my mind always, and it was thewrong thing to do.
So when um that point ofstaring at my dog and not
(09:21):
pulling the trigger, that rightthere separated that life.
That life was gone because ofthat moment right there, because
that was my dog, not that doganymore.
That was my dog.
Miles Walker does his name.
That was my dog, and that isthe dog that saved me.
That is the initial thing thatjust brought me from the lowest
of the low.
And listen, I would never everchange a minute of what I went
(09:43):
through.
I don't know if you know, butuh April of 23, I had a heart
attack.
And um I'm as fit as can be, itjust hit me.
I don't know how.
It just I had a heart attack.
But you know what?
I would never ever change whathappened to me.
From the time that I met you tothe where I'm at right now,
where I'm sitting, I'm supposedto be there right now.
And the things and the trialsand tribulations that I've gone
(10:04):
through, I'm glad I went throughthem.
I wouldn't want anybody to gothrough them, but I'm glad I
went through them because I'mthe best man I've ever been in
my life now.
Barbara Parker (10:13):
Don't forget to hear me say that.
Brian Nordstrom (10:15):
It's great to say it.
Barbara Parker (10:17):
Yeah.
And the fact that, you know,you were such a performer.
Like you were sometimes some ofthese things you did were
self-defeating because you weretrying to quiet and known the
trauma that you had survived asa veteran.
And it was in that, you know,and when we worked together, you
(10:38):
were like, that's too big.
I do not want to touch that.
And having to sit in a placewhere I wanted to honor that,
but also knowing that that wassomething that was keeping you
from going to that next level.
Brian Nordstrom (10:52):
Um, having started that process and yeah, I
uh I'm uh I switched from my uhthe civilian medical.
So I go to VA now.
Um I um see a therapist, I gothrough um, you know, with my
PTSD and stuff like that, um,which again, not knowing,
(11:13):
talking about it, thinking Idon't want to talk about it,
it's gonna make it worse.
Obviously, talking about it hasmade it so much better for me.
Yeah, you know, so um I used tohave nightmares, I don't much
anymore at all.
Um, so um I've definitely takenthat point from where I've
started to love myself, gave methe opportunity to say, you know
what, you gotta do this becauseyou're not gonna get better.
(11:36):
Now that you've taken care ofyourself here and in your heart
and loving yourself, now you'vegot to get in here and make sure
that that's getting cleared up.
So I started going to the VA.
Um, I go uh once a month, andthen I have a virtual uh once a
week.
So I I definitely have gottenstrides on that and have made um
such a difference for mementally, um, that again it
(12:00):
started with you being heredoing the sessions that we
started with.
Barbara Parker (12:04):
Yeah, I remember we talked about you going to do
bowling, uh doing the gym, andI know the gym was something
that you loved.
Like you took a lot of pride inyour health.
So for you to tell me that youhad a heart attack is like ha,
you know, it's it's it'sshocking.
(12:24):
But also in that the place andthe thing, the one thing you had
that you had joy in, seeingthat that was even a struggle
for you to get through yourworkouts because that was how
you were attempting to kind ofself-um, not self-medicate, but
like the endorphins you get fromworking out helps to lighten
(12:49):
your mood.
So, what was it like when youwere in that process of being
immersed in this relationshipthat wasn't working and knowing
you needed to still take care ofyourself, but the weight of the
things that were going onoutside the gym was just too
much.
What did that look like?
Brian Nordstrom (13:08):
Um, you know, I bottled it up because I always
put them first.
Yeah.
So when, you know, I stoppedmaking, like I stopped forging,
making knives.
I stopped doing that to, youknow, do whatever they wanted me
to do.
When I, you know, making uh,you know, furniture, I stopped
(13:29):
doing that because that wasmaking it so I spent more time
doing it with them.
Although I was just in thegarage doing it, it was still
something that I felt like I hadto stop doing and focus more on
them and doing stuff for them,putting myself again not first.
Barbara Parker (13:45):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (13:45):
Um, and then I never really thought that that
was something that was wrong.
I never thought that doing thatwas putting me down and not
making me happy.
Because for me, making herhappy was the ideal, excuse me,
the ideal thing.
Barbara Parker (14:00):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (14:01):
Um, and realizing that it it shouldn't
have been.
It should have been making mehappy first.
Then everything else would havejust come full forth and then,
you know, happy, everybody.
So by trying to make her happy,it was not making me happy, it
was making everything worse,which it's a very odd thing to
say, but it was just a circle.
You know, it just was nevergonna work.
(14:23):
So when I finally started againcoming into my own self and and
um being who I wanted to be, Igot back to doing that.
I'm I make uh um furniture now.
I had a table that I made thatum I was selling for $8,000.
That uh I made.
I mean, this is something thatnow is such a passion in me.
(14:44):
Um, where like I told yououtside, I just bought a house.
Yeah, and I made sure I got ahouse and I had a workshop that
I could work in.
You know, just because ofthose, those are the things that
that are me.
That relation took at the endtook it all away from me.
Yeah, and not having that wasnever giving me the opportunity
to become better at.
Barbara Parker (15:02):
Yeah.
Yeah, because that's somethingthat just was innately you.
Right.
Like even the type of art youwere doing, I'm trying to
remember the name of it.
I want to say lifting somethingwhere it has the crack.
Brian Nordstrom (15:16):
Oh, yeah, yeah, the the the lecture.
Barbara Parker (15:23):
And you had given it up, you know, to have
this thing that was justslightly out of out of reach.
And I'm so glad that you wentback to finding yourself and
feeding your soul.
And I'm just thankful thatyou've been open and honest and
vulnerable with us and sharingyour story.
And it's definitely going tomake a difference.
Brian Nordstrom (15:45):
I think I couldn't have done it without
you.
You started the whole journeyfor me to where I'm right here
too.
So I thank you.
All right, perfect.
Barbara Parker (16:05):
Powerfully broken, but never defeated.
Welcome to Powerfully Broken podcast, where
we're breaking unhealthy habitsthat negatively impact our
mental health.
I have with me um our lovelyBrian Nordstrom, who is a
veteran, a victory, a victorover trauma, and a family man.
And I just want to thank folksfor taking the time to be with
(00:24):
us today.
And he's on his journey ofbecoming a Buddhist.
And so it's been an incrediblejourney since I've met you.
And I just want to thank youfor being here.
Oh, it's great being here.
It's been a journey to say theleast.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, before we started, we weretalking a little bit about um
where you started when we met.
(00:46):
Um, tell me a little bit aboutthat.
Yeah, I was um going through areal bad separation.
Uh, 17 years I was with uhsomebody, and um it was just uh
a thing that she was uh gettingdistant, and then she just
decided that it was over.
Um in 17 years, and um probablythe hardest thing that I had to
(01:10):
go through in my life and thatthat hurt you I never thought
would ever go away.
You know, so that's how we metin therapy here, which um I
honestly got to say by comingsee you and going through
everything, those sessions,because if I like I said, if I
would have done this, just keptit bottled up inside, I wouldn't
(01:30):
be here today.
There's no way I would haveended my life for sure.
Um, and uh, you know, we hadthe conversation now.
You said, you know, I was oneof the ones that you were
worried about that was gonnahappen.
You stay on the heart.
Brian Nordstrom (01:42):
And uh it's uh definitely something that
crossed my mind for severalmonths.
It took a long time to me forme to get past that.
Um my 50th birthday, I wasalone by myself in my apartment.
I'm a disabled bed, so I havemy my service dog.
So um my dog just sitting therewatching me.
(02:04):
I had a gun in my mouth.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday was mybirthday.
I was gonna pull the trigger onSunday.
Um, and that was the lowest ofthe low.
And I looked at my dogs likethat, he'll never understand
that.
How could I do that?
And from that point, rightthere, and I bet you at that
point, that's when our sessionsgot better, and um everything
just started to turn around andum trying to figure out how to
(02:28):
get back.
So that's how we started seeingeach other.
That was the reason why.
Barbara Parker (02:33):
Yeah, because I remember when we initially
started our sessions, we wouldtalk about you were just laser
focused on this has to work.
Everything you did, everydecision you made was in service
of that goal of having thatrelationship reunified.
(02:56):
And the thing I knew you neededwas to rebuild who you were.
You're such an artist.
Um, you do metalwork, woodwork,um, music.
Like you are, you have anartist's heart.
And that was the thing that youwere neglecting was the love of
(03:19):
yourself.
And so even that art you haveon your body was like, I think
we took like a month to actuallyget you to have the courage to
just take that leap of gettingsomething you wanted for over 10
years.
Right.
Tell me a little bit about whatthat looked like for you.
Brian Nordstrom (03:40):
Um, I mean, for for me to become who I am now
um and um evolving, becauseyou're right.
I I I wanted uh that to work100%.
And I was doing everything forher to make it work, but I was
neglecting everything that I wasdoing that I love to do.
(04:01):
Um, so uh a buddy of mine hadsaid um to me, you know,
self-talk, you gotta say it.
You're you deserve this.
It's your divine right to behappy.
You create your own happiness.
Don't let anybody take thatfrom you and say it out loud,
manifest it, put it out there,think it, visualize it.
So um, when I first starteddoing that, I remember doing
(04:21):
that um and saying it out loudin the shower, saying, you know,
you deserve this, you're a goodman.
And then right after I get donesaying, I'd be like, You're a
fucking liar.
You know, because I couldn'tget past myself, I hated myself.
And um I didn't do anything forme.
It was always trying to fix thesituation, was was unfixable.
But being there, I I don't knowthat.
(04:43):
I I think I can, you know.
So eventually I came to a pointwhere um I started to believe
in myself.
Um, I had uh covers on all mymirrors because I I look at the
mirror and I'd punch it becauseI hated myself that bad.
So um being that I started tofind myself um through Buddhism,
(05:03):
um, because I have a lot ofgood friends that, you know, and
it's not just I mean, Buddhismis just a philosophy, is all it
is.
I mean, it's every religion ispredominantly the same thing.
Treat people good, compassion,you know, understanding.
When somebody cuts you off,don't flip them off.
You know, they don't you don'tknow what their day was like.
You don't know if their motherjust died, you know, say hi to
(05:23):
them or something because if youget on them, that could change
everything for them, or it couldchange everything great and
change a ripple in the world foreverything.
You know, one kindness couldchange so many different things.
So I started learning aboutthat and I started forgiving
myself.
And uh finally I got to a pointwhere you know I forgave myself
(05:44):
entirely.
I started loving myself again,putting myself first.
And um, you know, I uh meditatefour times a day.
You know, it's just a way ofcalming myself down and being
able to um bring myself to apoint where no matter what the
(06:04):
situation in front of me is, Ialmost know that that doesn't
define me at all.
One situation and like what Iwas going to do with the guy and
stuff, that long-term uhsituation that would have been
the end for a very short-termproblem.
Barbara Parker (06:20):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (06:20):
So if anybody's listening, please understand
that that is exactly the way itis.
Every single situation in yourlife, it's just defining you at
that point, but it's making youa whole person, and you survive
these things to make youstronger.
So that's what a lot that I'velearned by becoming a Buddhist
and understanding that thecompassion for yourself first.
(06:42):
You have to have thatcompassion because if you don't
compassion for yourself, you'renot gonna have any for anybody.
So the compassion for me, Ifinally figured it out.
And I love myself more thananything in the world that makes
me love everybody else the sameway now.
unknown (06:55):
Yeah.
Barbara Parker (06:56):
I'm sorry, I know sometimes my facial
features give a differentmessage than what is, but I was
sitting here just glowing somuch because I hear me telling
you don't make a long-termdecision based on a short-term
situation.
And you could not see thelight.
(07:17):
You could not see that on theother side of this thing that
had broken you, that you wouldbe a stronger, better person.
And you could take all thethings you learned along the way
and improve who you were fromthe beginning.
Um, it was, you know, findinglife in a hopeless situation.
(07:37):
Because even the decision toget your baby when he was a
puppy was like it was it waslike pulling teeth, man.
Like I was struggling with, youknow, I appreciated that, you
know, I could be honest with youas a therapist and say, I don't
(08:00):
think this is gonna serve you.
You know, this, you know, therewas a lot of times we were
having conversations that Iwanted you to just try it, just
do it.
Because your other dogs thatyou had have brought you so much
joy.
Right.
And so it was like this gaveyou hole that you needed to
(08:23):
feel, was unsure about feelingit.
And so bringing this emotionalsupport animal into your life
literally saved your life.
Brian Nordstrom (08:33):
Absolutely saved my life.
Barbara Parker (08:34):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (08:34):
I mean, we talked about that, and when I
tried to get past it, I wastrying such an abstract way of
doing it, but I was justmimicking the life that I had
with them.
So I I literally searched forprobably six, seven months for
the exact same breed, exact samedog that I left behind that I
(08:55):
wasn't allowed to take that Imissed dearly.
Barbara Parker (08:57):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (08:58):
You could take two pictures of them side by
side, you wouldn't know who waswho right now.
But I tried to do that, so Iwanted to mimic that life again.
I went as far as getting thesame vacuum cleaner to clean my.
I mean, I tried to doeverything to keep that life in
my mind always, and it was thewrong thing to do.
So when um that point ofstaring at my dog and not
(09:21):
pulling the trigger, that rightthere separated that life.
That life was gone because ofthat moment right there, because
that was my dog, not that doganymore.
That was my dog.
Miles Walker does his name.
That was my dog, and that isthe dog that saved me.
That is the initial thing thatjust brought me from the lowest
of the low.
And listen, I would never everchange a minute of what I went
(09:43):
through.
I don't know if you know, butuh April of 23, I had a heart
attack.
And um I'm as fit as can be, itjust hit me.
I don't know how.
It just I had a heart attack.
But you know what?
I would never ever change whathappened to me.
From the time that I met you tothe where I'm at right now,
where I'm sitting, I'm supposedto be there right now.
And the things and the trialsand tribulations that I've gone
(10:04):
through, I'm glad I went throughthem.
I wouldn't want anybody to gothrough them, but I'm glad I
went through them because I'mthe best man I've ever been in
my life now.
Barbara Parker (10:13):
Don't forget to hear me say that.
Brian Nordstrom (10:15):
It's great to say it.
Barbara Parker (10:17):
Yeah.
And the fact that, you know,you were such a performer.
Like you were sometimes some ofthese things you did were
self-defeating because you weretrying to quiet and known the
trauma that you had survived asa veteran.
And it was in that, you know,and when we worked together, you
(10:38):
were like, that's too big.
I do not want to touch that.
And having to sit in a placewhere I wanted to honor that,
but also knowing that that wassomething that was keeping you
from going to that next level.
Brian Nordstrom (10:52):
Um, having started that process and yeah, I
uh I'm uh I switched from my uhthe civilian medical.
So I go to VA now.
Um I um see a therapist, I gothrough um, you know, with my
PTSD and stuff like that, um,which again, not knowing,
(11:13):
talking about it, thinking Idon't want to talk about it,
it's gonna make it worse.
Obviously, talking about it hasmade it so much better for me.
Yeah, you know, so um I used tohave nightmares, I don't much
anymore at all.
Um, so um I've definitely takenthat point from where I've
started to love myself, gave methe opportunity to say, you know
what, you gotta do this becauseyou're not gonna get better.
(11:36):
Now that you've taken care ofyourself here and in your heart
and loving yourself, now you'vegot to get in here and make sure
that that's getting cleared up.
So I started going to the VA.
Um, I go uh once a month, andthen I have a virtual uh once a
week.
So I I definitely have gottenstrides on that and have made um
such a difference for mementally, um, that again it
(12:00):
started with you being heredoing the sessions that we
started with.
Barbara Parker (12:04):
Yeah, I remember we talked about you going to do
bowling, uh doing the gym, andI know the gym was something
that you loved.
Like you took a lot of pride inyour health.
So for you to tell me that youhad a heart attack is like ha,
you know, it's it's it'sshocking.
(12:24):
But also in that the place andthe thing, the one thing you had
that you had joy in, seeingthat that was even a struggle
for you to get through yourworkouts because that was how
you were attempting to kind ofself-um, not self-medicate, but
like the endorphins you get fromworking out helps to lighten
(12:49):
your mood.
So, what was it like when youwere in that process of being
immersed in this relationshipthat wasn't working and knowing
you needed to still take care ofyourself, but the weight of the
things that were going onoutside the gym was just too
much.
What did that look like?
Brian Nordstrom (13:08):
Um, you know, I bottled it up because I always
put them first.
Yeah.
So when, you know, I stoppedmaking, like I stopped forging,
making knives.
I stopped doing that to, youknow, do whatever they wanted me
to do.
When I, you know, making uh,you know, furniture, I stopped
(13:29):
doing that because that wasmaking it so I spent more time
doing it with them.
Although I was just in thegarage doing it, it was still
something that I felt like I hadto stop doing and focus more on
them and doing stuff for them,putting myself again not first.
Barbara Parker (13:45):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (13:45):
Um, and then I never really thought that that
was something that was wrong.
I never thought that doing thatwas putting me down and not
making me happy.
Because for me, making herhappy was the ideal, excuse me,
the ideal thing.
Barbara Parker (14:00):
Yeah.
Brian Nordstrom (14:01):
Um, and realizing that it it shouldn't
have been.
It should have been making mehappy first.
Then everything else would havejust come full forth and then,
you know, happy, everybody.
So by trying to make her happy,it was not making me happy, it
was making everything worse,which it's a very odd thing to
say, but it was just a circle.
You know, it just was nevergonna work.
(14:23):
So when I finally started againcoming into my own self and and
um being who I wanted to be, Igot back to doing that.
I'm I make uh um furniture now.
I had a table that I made thatum I was selling for $8,000.
That uh I made.
I mean, this is something thatnow is such a passion in me.
(14:44):
Um, where like I told yououtside, I just bought a house.
Yeah, and I made sure I got ahouse and I had a workshop that
I could work in.
You know, just because ofthose, those are the things that
that are me.
That relation took at the endtook it all away from me.
Yeah, and not having that wasnever giving me the opportunity
to become better at.
Barbara Parker (15:02):
Yeah.
Yeah, because that's somethingthat just was innately you.
Right.
Like even the type of art youwere doing, I'm trying to
remember the name of it.
I want to say lifting somethingwhere it has the crack.
Brian Nordstrom (15:16):
Oh, yeah, yeah, the the the lecture.
Barbara Parker (15:23):
And you had given it up, you know, to have
this thing that was justslightly out of out of reach.
And I'm so glad that you wentback to finding yourself and
feeding your soul.
And I'm just thankful thatyou've been open and honest and
vulnerable with us and sharingyour story.
And it's definitely going tomake a difference.
Brian Nordstrom (15:45):
I think I couldn't have done it without
you.
You started the whole journeyfor me to where I'm right here
too.
So I thank you.
All right, perfect.
Barbara Parker (16:05):
Powerfully broken, but never defeated.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!