When Comfort Is Killing You: Dania Christian on Quitting, Scaling, and Cutting Dead Weight

Episode Transcript
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Barbara Parker (00:00):
Welcome to Powerfully Broken Podcast, where
we break unhealthyrelationships that negatively
impact our mental health.
Today I have with me ourdancing diva, Dania, who is a
mentor to many business ownersas well as a military Maven.
Um, she has been such a powersource for so many.

(00:22):
I would love her to share herwisdom to help some of our
business owners out there.
So, you know, listen until theend because she's gonna be
dropping some powerful gems.

Intro (00:46):
Barbara, bring the light.
Oh, we ready now.
We're rolling very low.
Heart still heavy and you'removing slow.

Tears on your face, but you're like, Welcome
to Powerfully Broken Podcast.
You make me sound so official.
You've been official a longtime.
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Um, so tell me a little bitabout how you got into business.
Wow, um, that's funny.
So I originally, my vision wasa nonprofit.

(01:18):
And so I was working forsomeone else to fund the dream
of the nonprofit.
Um, but I feel like I was beingpushed, God was pushed me in
another direction.
And so they say when he wantsyou to move, he makes you
uncomfortable.
And that's exactly what it was.
I mean, uncomfortable was thelittlest way to describe it, I
guess.
Um, and it started with onemanual that I created, and it

(01:43):
took off from there.
I said a prayer, I woke up withthe business name, tapped into
the right people, and quit myjob, and I haven't looked back.
So, when talking about quittingyour job and putting your full
weight on your dream andtrusting that the vision is
going to come to pass.
As somebody that was forcedinto doing it for like two years

(02:08):
of uh hard conversation.
Yeah.
Yeah, two years.

Denia (02:12):
But it was hard time to drag you.
But you did it, but you did itthough.
You did it.

I'm proud of you.
So, how do you know when youshould go from being that person
that I need to have my job andmy business is my side hustle,
to it's time to put my fullweight and all my energy into
this?
Um, when the pain of yourpresent circumstances outweigh
your comfort.

(02:36):
So if you're working on a joband you're comfortable where you
are and you can keep milking itfor that amount of time, then
you're not ready.
But when the pain of thatcomfort outweighs, it's time to
bet on you.
Yeah.

(02:57):
I know, I was on your neck for along time.
Like, if you don't get off myback, yeah, you heavy.
But here's the thing though,think about it.
When you think about when youdid it, yeah.
Now, if you rewind back, wherewould you be had you leaped
sooner?

Denia (03:15):
Yeah.

I don't know.
Because I I I can still seesome of them bottlenecks that
was still that has tied into.
Um, but I don't know if I wouldhave found those problems as
quickly without having our magicmagician in the back finding
problems and figuring out how toshe she that's my girl, she's

(03:38):
awesome.
Um, so you're also a master ofconnections, of knowing not only
how to solve problems, but whois the solution to a problem.
Yeah.
So when you are identifyingdifferent businesses that have a
problem that just seems to theowner, like nobody in the world

(03:59):
is having this issue.
Yeah.
And I can't fix it, I don'tknow the solution.
How do you have some of thoseconversations where people may
not be in a position to paysomebody else, but knowing that
that person has the answer tothat question and will help
bring revenue back into thebusiness because now that
problem isn't bottleneck in thebusiness.

(04:20):
So usually what I try to do is Itry to generate the revenue to
bring that person on, right?
So I can't keep giving yousolutions to problems with a
dollar amount that you can'tfix.
Right.
So now it's time for me to goout and start recruiting, start
bringing quality staff in that'sgonna generate the revenue.
And as you see the numbersgrow, because in the back of my

(04:42):
mind, I already know you needthis person.
So let me do everything that Ican to put you in position.
So then it's a win-win foreverybody.
For sure.
Yeah.
So yeah.
And I've been telling thatperson, I'm like, you're gonna
hire staff.
Yeah.
And she don't like it.
I was like, I told you you madeyour first hire.
I said, I'm yep.
I'm yeah, we're working on allof that right now.

(05:03):
So she I'm excited, I'm proudof her.
Yeah, she's awesome.
Yeah, shout out to Aaliyah.
If anybody needs a dope biller,Aaliyah is our girl.
Yes.
Um, so in that, knowing how tohave uh relationships with
people who have these amazingspirits, because I think we were

(05:24):
out looking at buildings.
And um I was just, I don'tknow, I was in a weird space.
I I realized a lot of myinterviews, I always realized I
was in a lot of weird spaces.
But uh I was like, hey, um, youwas like, this the uh trainer
that I was uh working with, andno, he just happened to be

(05:47):
walking down the street and wewas coming out the building, and
it just started to where Iended up working out with him
for two, three years.
Yeah.
And I got amazing results.
And that's a funny story too.
Yeah.
So I met him.
Um I was in the studio and hehad called uh my co-host, and

(06:11):
and my co-host was like, heyman, you promised to do this
table.
Now I'm thinking businessminded, right?
And so um he said, Oh man, I'llbe out of town.
And I was like, I'll I'll doyour table.
And he looked at me.
Yeah, definitely.
And I was like, Yeah, I said,I'll do your table.
He was like, You don't know me,I don't have to.
Just give me what I need and Ipromise I'll make it happen.

(06:33):
I did a sign-up sheet, did allof that stuff, and that's how we
met.
Yeah.
So then the double back was,hey, you didn't follow up with
everybody that signed off onyour list, or else you guys
would have met sooner.
And then, but yeah.
Yeah.
And that was just because I,but that's who I am though.
I talk to everybody in thegrocery store, it don't matter,

(06:53):
strangers on the street.
That's how you find outinformation, especially when
you're traveling.
People tell you all thedetails.
Like, oh, okay, cool, wouldn'thave never known that had you
not talked to a local.
So making sure you'reintentional about connections
help you build your business,help you be able to give
referrals to other people forbusiness, and also help people

(07:18):
that are looking for jobs knowwhen they're a good fit.
Yes.
So, like, you must have like700 different connections in the
back of your mind, just runningsimultaneously, like a little
hamster on the wheel doing this.
Yeah, pretty much.
Um, so so okay, so uh to goback, Mary Kay is how I started

(07:39):
just talking to strangers.
Okay.
Um, I was at training for MaryKay, and she was like, okay,
everybody get up.
And we're like, okay.
She's like, we're going to themall.
Like, okay.
She gave us a piece of paperand challenged us to get 100
no's.
100 no's.
We had to go to the mall to seewho can get the most no's.
And so with that, that forcedus to talk to people that we

(08:02):
thought were going to say no.
And then they ended up sayingyeah.
So it was harder than wethought to get the no's, but it
broke that mode of just walkingup to people and just talking to
them and just saying something.
And I was like, okay, well,there it is.
And that's and that's how itstarted.
So it went from that to um, Iwas a community health worker.

(08:23):
We had to do tables, we had totalk to people.
And Mary Kay, they teach youstand in front of the table.
It forces people to communicatewith you.
When you sit behind the table,there's a barrier.
I was standing in front of histable when I met you.
Yeah.
Because all the same, you know,so I I can honestly go, it goes
back to the pink Cadillacpeople.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

AD (08:44):
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Parker.
It's not just about endings,it's about rediscovering who you
are, reclaiming your peace, andrising stronger than ever.
Because you're not justsurviving, you're becoming.
And that's a powerful follow atQueen BL Parker or at BF

(09:07):
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Now back to our program.

And I think also by you, I because you always so
fly when you dress.

unknown (09:21):
Thank you.

So I'll be like, I think it was probably you had
on something that I was like,ooh, you like, I like that
whatever you got on.
And then it just sparked thisconversation.
I was like, okay, I know I needto lose a minimum of a hundred
pounds.
And now right.
So now I'm like at 100 andsomething pounds, and I got by

(09:42):
clothes again for the thirdtime.
But that's a good problem tohave.
It's relative.
It's a good problem.
It is.
However, comma.
You gotta find the time and themoney to do it.
Not just don't be feeling likedealing with the time in the
money.
So I gotta get that too.
She's a stylist and she willstyle and pick and show you and

(10:06):
shop for you and do.
Yeah.
Message.
Right.
See, that's what I'm saying.
She always got that person, thelittle hamster wheel always
ruin.
I can't, I can't shut it off.
Like ever since I was a littlegirl, um, the very first game I
fell in love with was Tetris.
Puzzle pieces.
And it was and it was just inmy mind now, I can't shut it

(10:28):
off.
Somebody gives me a problem,I'm already at the end result.
Okay, next.
How do we okay, next?
And I think that's why workingwith you has been so helpful.
Because we don't sit back,whether it's personal,
financial, business, whatever,we don't sit back and just cry.

(10:49):
We know we might shed a fewtears, don't get me wrong,
because we're human.
But we don't just lay andcomplain.
We like, all right, we're notfinna stay here.
We're what's the nextdestination?
Where are we going?
Right.
So always having that idea ofthis is not forever.
This problem is not a foreverproblem, it's a temporary
problem, and I'm looking forwardto seeing this problem gone.

(11:12):
Yeah.
So like I know sometimeswhether it's people in our
business, in our life, or familythat like to just sit back and
complain how you you can givethem 15 solutions and they'll
tell you how none of themsolutions work, but ain't tried

(11:34):
none of them.

Denia (11:35):
Right.

And then they still cry over the same problem
in 30 days.
How do we get those people toshift to engaging in those
solutions?
Or do we cut them people fromhaving access to complain about
the problem?
You can't float with deadweight.

(11:58):
Say that again.
You can't float with deadweight.
So either get right or getleft.
Those are the only two optionsthat you have.
Because I can only keepproviding you with so many
solutions.
After that, now you're costingme time, you're costing me
money, and mental anguishbecause now I'm stressed out.
That vein in the middle of theforehead is getting ready to
burst because you just don'twant to do.

(12:22):
And in this day and age, timeis money.
Yeah.
And I can't afford to lose anymore money wasting time with
you.
Yeah.
So I give my friends, andsometimes my clients, you get
roughly three times the complainabout that same thing.
For I'm like, look, you don'teither try the solution or we're

(12:45):
never gonna talk about thisagain.
Yep.
Tell come back in 30 and no,come back in seven days and tell
me if it works.
I usually get a call withinthree days.
Oh, this worked.
I wish I had done this threeweeks ago.
I told you to do it three weeksago.
So, yeah, yeah.
If not, you know, I have a Iknow a wonderful agency that has

(13:08):
therapists for things likethat.
Yeah, help you where theyactually make money listening to
you complain about the samething over and over again.
Oh, we don't, we're not thatagent.
That's not my ministry.
It's not our it's not mineeither.
I I'm not gonna listen to youon a pity pot.
We're gonna get you off thatthing and we're gonna get you
into a solution so you can haveyour best life.

(13:28):
Their patience is a little bitlonger, though.
Yeah.
But why, okay, so I I don'tknow why.
For some reason, at the gym,I've become the de facto
therapist somehow.
Because I always end up inthese situations where I'm
actually given therapy and I'msitting there like, this is for

(13:51):
free.
Yeah.
Do I give them the girlfriendtalk or do I give them the
gentle engagement of thetherapist with the delivery?
And I have to consult with myother gym partners to be like,
you hear what I'm hearing, butthis is some BS, and I'm not
finna sit here for free andentertain it.

(14:13):
So since it's for free.
Right.
Because I'm paying to betrained, not to help you with
your problems.
Right.
Like breakups, emotionalproblems, like recent divorces.
I'm like, is there a sign overmy head that just seems to m get
people to do you feel likethat's what happened when it

(14:35):
comes to businesses?
Like that that people withtheir with their problems or
with their business justmagically just drop these
nuggets and you like, oh, Icould have solved that.
At the time, solving theirproblems is just good
boundaries.
And here's your invoice.
Yeah.

(14:55):
Yeah.
Um, oh man, it's funny becauseso I have I have both ends of
the spectrum, but nothing inbetween.
Either they hide all theproblems from me until the pain
is so tough they have to call meto help them fix it, or they
call me about everything.
And then I'm like, how was youfunctioning before?

(15:18):
You know, you know, I can't, Ican't, but how I'm just curious,
you know, just something.
So yeah, it's either or.
And then then I have to do notdisturb.
My phone call doesn't ringafter a certain time, so then
that way I can maintain mymental health to be, that's why
I'm in the gym late.
It's like, do not disturb.

(15:40):
Don't call me.
I'm at the gym.
Yeah.
So that's another reason whywhen I have a rough week, you
might see me in the gym twice aweek.
Because I'm like, I need tooffload this cortisol.
Cause if I don't, my mouth isgonna pop fly.
And there's consequences fordoing that as the owner of a

(16:04):
business or a mother or a wifeor just a human in general.
Because sometimes I see medoing things that I know could
land me in jail.
Yeah, and I don't have no money.
I I'd rather be on vacationwith those funds.
Right.
And I just don't like lookinglike everybody else.
I like that be a little unique,and I don't know how much

(16:25):
they'll let me get away withcustomizing my jumpsuit.
Yeah, yeah.
See, and I fight for myvirginity, so we're not gonna do
that either.
You know, that's not sorry.
Not sorry.
Sorry, not sorry.
That part.
So I'd be like, I'm gonna go tothe gym today because I'm gonna

(16:47):
get this stress out before Itell you how I really think.

unknown (16:53):
Yeah.

So yeah, is the gym and line dancing for me?
I was just about to say that.
It's that bilateral movement.
So, like a lot of times whenI'm in high stress mode, I'll do
my music and people will justbe like, oh, you're dancing
because you're so happy at thegym working out.
No, I'm trying to recalibratemy brain because we on the verge
of hurting people.

unknown (17:13):
Yeah.

And we like freedom.
And we like people.
We just like them in smalldoses when they are not being
annoying.
Um, so if we have overworked,underpaid, stressed out,
exhausted, scared, confusedbusiness owners, which all of
that applies to everyentrepreneur at some point.

(17:36):
Yeah.
Um how do they find you?
Uh so uh it's a couple of ways.
Uh my website,www.anr3consulting.com.
Um, or the business line234-205-1902.
Um, Facebook, Dania Christian,you find me there.
Facebook, Instagram, YouTube.

(17:58):
Yep.
And I have another question.
What does powerfully broken meanto you?
Oh, powerfully broken means Ihave taken control over my
destiny and the things that usedto harm me before no longer can
affect me.

unknown (18:16):
Yeah.
I like that.
Thank you.

Well, I want to thank you for again being with
us and sharing all your wisdomand nuggets.
Thank you for having me.
Oh, of course.
Um, and again, thank you fortuning in to Powerfully Broken
Podcasts, where we breakunhealthy relationships that
negatively impact our mentalhealth, and have a wonderful
day.

AD (18:38):
This episode is proudly sponsored by BF Empowerment
Center, where healing isn't justpossible, it's powerful.
BF Empowerment Center helpsindividuals break barriers,
build healthier relationships,and unlock their true potential
for lasting transformation.
Follow at Queen BL Parker or atBF Empowerment.
Don't forget to like, comment,share, and subscribe at the

(19:02):
Powerfully Broken Podcast.
Powerfully broken empowers youto overcome unhealthy
relationships that negativelyimpact your mental health.

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