April 1, 2025 • 22 mins
Drawing from 16 years of clinical experience helping women conceive naturally, I've observed that mindset blocks fertility more often than most realize. While physical symptoms are easy to identify, recognizing how emotions sabotage conception requires deeper awareness.
Chinese medicine reveals fascinating connections between emotions and organ systems crucial for fertility.
Follow me on instagram @dradriennewei
Website: www.adriennewei.com
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome to the Practically Fertile Podcast.
I'm Adrienne Wee, doctor ofAcupuncture and Chinese Medicine
, functional MedicinePractitioner and Functional
Nutritionist.
I specialize in using anevidence-based method, blending
principles of East Asianmedicine and modern functional
medicine to help women optimizefertility and get pregnant.
(00:22):
I believe in a world whereevery woman who wants to be a
mother becomes one.
If you're tired of being toldthat you're infertile and you
want to take the right steps toget pregnant naturally and
quickly, this podcast is for you.
Hey, fertile friend, I do wantto take a moment before I get
(00:43):
into the episode today and letyou know about the restructuring
of my online programs.
I know that this day and age,there isn't a lack of
information.
You can find out so much aboutfertility just by simply typing
in a few words on Google.
That's good and bad.
We all know about Dr Google.
(01:05):
It gives valuable insights, butit's also a scary, scary place
to live in.
Everything on Google leads tocancer, terminal illness.
You're never going to getpregnant and that's by design,
because healthcare providers arenot legally allowed to make any
types of claims and they alsowant to be careful.
(01:27):
They don't want to take theresponsibility of telling you
that for sure you'll getpregnant by doing something and
then get sued for it.
Unfortunately, we live in alitigious society, just like the
McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit.
Common sense tells us thatcoffee might be hot, but we
still need to put a label on thecup that the coffee is hot,
(01:48):
just in case someone doesn'tknow that coffee is hot, and
they should be careful.
What you don't need is moreinformation.
You need an action plan.
My flagship program a few yearsago was extremely successful.
We had an overall pregnancyrate of over 50% for the people
who stuck with a program.
(02:09):
You might think that's low, butit's actually higher than the
national IVF average.
And keep in mind that this wasa work at your own pace program.
I had very little control overhow fast or slow someone learns
the material and, quite frankly,I don't really know how much
they were implementing thesuggestions.
(02:30):
But those who get pregnant theygot pregnant very quickly,
usually within six months.
However, times have changed.
A long program might not bepractical.
You don't really need a lengthyexplanation on why sugar is bad
for you.
You just really want to knowwhy am I not getting pregnant
and what do I need to do aboutit?
That's why I'm going to meetyou where you are.
(02:52):
I am planning on smaller,shorter, more actionable
programs in addition to mynormal flagship program.
So, whether you're juststarting out or you've exhausted
all your options, my team and Iwill be able to help you, and I
will give you more informationas these programs are released.
(03:13):
All right, so let's get on withtoday's episode.
I know that you love the tipsand tricks, but one common theme
I keep noticing over and overagain, based on my 16 years of
clinical experience, is thatwhat is preventing you from
getting pregnant could very wellbe mindset.
I do think that a lot of us arein denial about our state of
(03:37):
mind.
It's harder to quantify theeffects of a certain state of
mind.
Physical things are easier tonotice, like if your digestion
is off, your sleep is off.
This month, your cycle seems alittle weird.
These things we can notice, butit takes a long time for us to
realize that we're getting inour own way, sometimes, right?
(03:58):
Certainly, for me that's thecase sometimes, and I'm sure you
are too, and this is not goingto be an episode where I tell
you that you can't feel acertain way, because that's not
how I do things.
But what's really interesting isthat in Chinese medicine, each
emotion is tied to a certainorgan system and can absolutely
(04:19):
have an impact on the functionsof each organ system.
So far on this podcast, I'vetalked about the basic
principles of Chinese medicineand the four phases of the
menstrual cycle and the fivearchetypes, and I've touched on
various organs and how they arelinked to one of the five
(04:41):
archetypes.
Like spleen is the eartharchetype.
Kidneys are linked to the waterarchetype and liver wood.
So each organ has a job so thatyour body functions properly.
But I haven't talked in detailabout the emotions that are
associated with the functions ofeach of the important organs
(05:03):
for fertility.
This episode would definitelymake you evaluate your emotions
in a whole new, different way,and I hope that it can actually
help you to get out of the trapof certain emotions quicker if
you understand the impact thatit has on your fertility.
So let's start with the fivebasic human emotions Joy, worry,
(05:30):
anger, fear and sadness.
So joy is associated with theheart, worry is associated with
the spleen, anger is associatedwith the liver, fear is
associated with the kidneys andsadness the lungs.
You may have heard a lot ofenergy healers talk about the
heart chakra and opening theheart chakra.
If you do yoga, you'll hear theteachers talking about opening
(05:53):
poses that open the chest andthat if we're closed off in the
heart, we're closed off toopportunities and possibilities.
In the Chinese medicine world,the heart is our commander in
chief and it's super, duper,duper important because it's
like the hypothalamus, andhypothalamus is at the top of
the chain.
It starts the menstrual cycleevery single month.
(06:16):
If the hypothalamus isn'tworking, you're not going to
have a period A lot of times.
If someone has been trying toconceive for a long time, it's
hard to be happy, right, ifevery month you're getting a big
fat negative.
But think about it this wayKnowing that and that joy is the
emotion of the heart and theheart is like the hypothalamus,
(06:38):
at least in the Chinese medicineworld.
Do you see how just a littlebit of joy and happiness can
really enhance that energy andreally help your fertility?
What does that look like foryou?
Maybe it's going on a trip,maybe it's picking up a hobby
that you've pushed aside becauseyou're busy with the trying to
conceive things.
A lot of you tell me that youare struggling with putting your
(07:03):
life on hold because of tryingto conceive, like putting off a
trip because it doesn't coincidewith an IUI or something.
So maybe now it's time to takethat trip.
Whatever brings you joy, youneed to start adding them back
into your life, and that wouldreally enhance the heart energy
and really help those of you whoare the fire archetypes and
(07:25):
really help those of you who arethe fire archetypes.
Next up is worry.
Worry is associated with ourfriend spleen, the digestive
organ, the gut health, thesupplier of energy to all of our
organs, including ovaries anduterus, egg quality, lining
quality, a lot of things.
And worry is an emotion thatall of us are too familiar with
(07:49):
because that's what we do,especially being women.
We worry about everything fromwhat to eat for breakfast to
whether or not our shoes matchour outfit, to whether or not
others are talking about us, towhat's going to happen an hour
from now.
I don't need to elaborate here.
You know what I'm talking about, but overwarring damages the
spleen.
We talk a lot about diet andlifestyle and how certain things
(08:12):
can deplete your spleen energy,but overwarring will for sure
damage the spleen energy.
And what good does it do toworry?
Absolutely nothing, because youcan't change the past and you
can't predict the future.
Nothing, because you can'tchange the past and you can't
predict the future.
So why spend that preciousenergy?
If you're an earth archetype,one of your patterns of
(08:32):
imbalance might be qi deficiency.
You might also refer toyourself as the worry wart,
because the earth archetypes aremore likely to worry.
But even if your spleen energyis not affected now,
overworrying will for sure getyou there.
So we can't stop worrying.
But one very effective strategytaught to me by one of my really
(08:55):
good friends who is a therapistand she does work with women
who are trying to conceive a lotof times she talked about a
very effective procedure to getover this, and that is to set
aside some time to just worry,to think about all the worst
possible scenarios and then moveon.
(09:16):
So for you this might look likeafter dinner you have 30
minutes to yourself.
Maybe this is a good time to dothat.
Maybe a good time to do that iswhen you're walking your dog.
Whatever works for you, thepoint is to set aside a time
where you can just just benegative, think about all the
(09:36):
things that you're worried aboutand then moving on.
So the important thing here isto cut yourself off.
So try that and see if thathelps you.
Okay, moving on to anger, angeris associated with the liver,
the wood element, and beforesome of you think, well, I'm
(09:58):
never really angry there arevarious degrees of anger,
because liver is most affectedby stress and anxiety.
Although we use this generalemotion, anger this anger
emotion actually encompassesirritability, resentment,
depression, bitterness.
So think about the feeling youhave sometimes.
(10:19):
When someone announces apregnancy, it's probably coming
from the liver, and liver iswhat we call the commander of qi
.
The spleen makes the qi, theenergy, but it's the liver
that's responsible to make surethat this energy flows to where
it needs to go, like the ovariesand uterus and everywhere else.
(10:40):
When the liver is affected,energy flow becomes stagnant or
stuck, and then you might gettrapped in the cycle of qi
stagnation, causing qideficiency, and that causes more
stagnation and more deficiency.
Everything in Chinese medicinegoes around in a cycle, so you
have to remember that deficiencyin one place is going to affect
(11:02):
another.
And what's really, reallyimportant about the liver is
that it controls ovulation everymonth.
If you have late ovulation orirregular cycles, think about
your emotional state.
How many times have you told meI'm probably too stressed?
Well, now you know exactly howstress affects ovulation, you
(11:24):
can start managing it better, orat least be more aware.
Ovulation you can startmanaging it better, or at least
be more aware.
I do have to warn you when we'retalking about liver and
stagnant energy, don't run outand start a liver cleanse.
It is not going to beproductive for you.
You can't cleanse a specificorgan.
It doesn't work that way andour livers are made to be a
(11:48):
natural detox machine.
You just can't rush to process.
You got to let your body do itsjob and provide the environment
for it to do the job.
Plus, the liver goes through athree-step detox process anyway.
The first two steps it convertsa toxin and then it gets rid of
the toxin in the second step.
(12:08):
So you can easily end up with aton of toxins build up in your
blood and no way to get rid ofthem.
So just because your liverenergy is stuck, it doesn't mean
that you need to cleanse.
You need a better stressmanagement system, all right.
So some things to think about,like how you're stressing
yourself out, symptom watchingduring the two-week wait.
(12:29):
Are you obsessing overeverything that you're doing?
A lot of perfectionists tend tofall into the liver-tee
stagnation category, but ofcourse, anyone can be affected.
If you let the stress get toyou.
The liver-wood archetypes arejust a little bit more prone to
this.
Wood archetypes are just alittle bit more prone to this.
(12:50):
One of the best ways to releasestuck liver energy and I'm not
even joking here is to just letit all out and have a good cry.
I hear a lot of my patientstell me like I don't want to cry
, I don't want to cry, and Itell them no, you need to cry,
you need to let it out.
My team and I have this jokearound the office that whenever
a patient has this hugeemotional release, they've
(13:11):
reached a breaking point andthey melt down and they're
sobbing, crying and there's lotsof tears.
Whenever we see this, we're sohappy because we know that this
person's letting go of all thepent up emotions.
I kid you not nine times out of10, this person becomes
pregnant that very next cycle.
I kid you not.
Nine times out of ten thisperson becomes pregnant that
very next cycle.
And yes, there's evidence thatcrying releases endorphins and
(13:33):
reduces cortisol, so maybethat's one of the contributing
factors.
Now, of course, not every goodcry will mean that pregnancy
happens the next cycle, butmaybe it's a cycle after that.
Any way you look at it, lettinggo of the bottled up emotion
will help to unblock the energyflow.
So if you feel like crying, gofor it.
(13:56):
Let's talk about sadness next.
I want to save fear for last,because it is one of the most
important emotions and it has todeal with the kidneys, and I
just did a huge episode on thekidneys, and it has to deal with
the kidneys, and I just did ahuge episode on the kidneys.
Sadness is associated with thelung organ, and the lung organ
is something that we haven'treally talked about.
It's not part of the Chinesemenstrual cycle, but it is still
(14:24):
very much involved in theprocess, because the lung in
Chinese medicine is the immunesystem.
It is the defense of our body.
So much as what I want to teachyou to do is to strengthen your
body so that it's at the mosthealthy and fertile state.
When you get pregnant and we'resurrounded by toxins that
damage our immune system, and ifyour system, if your immune
(14:45):
system, is weak, you're going toget sick more often or you
might have an autoimmunecondition that pops out out of
nowhere.
These are all the things that astrong lung function will
prevent, and the lung isaffected by sadness.
One of my teachers from when Iwas in acupuncture school had
(15:05):
this really, really interestingperspective on Dana Reeves'
death.
I don't know if you rememberChristopher Reeves, the iconic
Superman.
He was in a horseback ridingaccident and left him completely
paralyzed and Dana, his wife,took care of him for a number of
years.
But within a few months afterChristopher died, dana, out of
(15:28):
nowhere, died of lung cancer andno one saw that coming.
She lived a really healthylifestyle and my teacher brought
up the fact that Dana had beencarrying this sadness and grief
for years about Christopher'saccident because she was the
caregiver and her entire lifewas turned upside down and then,
(15:49):
after Christopher died, thegrief and sadness just took over
.
So this is a super interestingperspective, but I want you to
maybe look into your own lifeand see if you can correlate any
incidences of a sudden loss ora period of extreme sadness and
if that had any effect on yourhealth whatsoever.
(16:09):
But anyway, trying to conceivewith no success is going to
bring a certain degree ofsadness, especially if you've
suffered miscarriages.
That's why it's super importantto allow yourself time to
grieve the losses and talkthrough the emotions.
The losses and talk through theemotions.
(16:33):
All right, so we're on to fear,and I saved this for last,
because fear is one of thehardest emotions to overcome,
but it has the greatest impacton fertility, since it's
associated with the kidneys.
You're a reproductive energysavings bank, and if you have no
idea what I'm talking about, Ijust did a huge episode on the
kidneys, and that's episode 15.
The reason fear is so hard toovercome is because it's a
(16:57):
survival mechanism that'sliterally hardwired into our
brain.
Fear is what stops us fromjumping off a roof, from
touching a hot stove, fromrunning in front of a bus.
Fear is what keeps us alive.
If you don't believe me, justGoogle why we're fearful, and
there are lots of resourcesabout this.
(17:20):
One of the biggest fears thatyou might have is no matter what
you do, you are never going toget pregnant, and this fear
drives your decision making.
You could be self-sabotagingand not even knowing it.
But, most importantly, constantfear is going to deplete your
reproductive energy savings bankexponentially.
So just a review ourreproductive energy saving bank
(17:45):
is what we inherit from ourparents.
It's what we were born with,and if you're upset about how
it's taking you so long to getpregnant.
Just think about this the moretime you give yourself to do all
the preconception work, themore you have to give to your
baby and the more that they haveto give to their baby and their
baby's babies.
So you're not just reallyprepping to get pregnant, you're
(18:08):
prepping for your futuregenerations.
So all this reproductive energyreservoir is affected by
lifestyle, diet, all the thingswe talked about, but it's also
affected by fear.
I really want you to think aboutwhere fear is showing up in
your life.
Now that you know it'saffecting your fertility in a
(18:28):
huge way, maybe you'll look atit differently.
It's impossible to just turnthe fear switch off with the
snap of a finger.
I wish that it would, butinstead here's what you can do
when fearful thoughts creep intoyour brain.
I want you to first acknowledgethe fear.
Don't fight it because youcan't.
It's again hardwired into ourbrain, and then I want you to
(18:53):
start a conversation withyourself about this fear,
something like I know.
This fear isn't real.
It's protecting me from beinghurt.
I can think of so many examplesof this, and I'm sure that you
can think of some fears that youhave about the trying to
conceive process and that whenyou sit down and really think
about it, you probably will findthat they're actually trying to
(19:17):
protect you either fromdisappointment or something that
might cause you harm in someway.
I remember talking to a womanone time at this event I was
hosting and I mentioned dairy.
Her comment was hell, no, I'mnever going to give up dairy.
Nope, not ever.
And I saw that it wasn't.
She didn't see the value ingiving up dairy, but she was
(19:39):
afraid that even cutting outdairy wasn't going to be enough
to help her get pregnant.
So she stops herself from eventrying it out.
So that't going to be enough tohelp her get pregnant.
So she stops herself from eventrying it out so that she
wouldn't be disappointed.
But maybe cutting out dairywould have helped her.
And so many of us have fear ofbeing criticized.
I definitely have that hugefear and you know I freeze up
(20:03):
whenever I had to go on FacebookLive.
I've done a lot of work and I'mgetting better, but my fear was
stopping me because it wasprotecting me from being hurt by
negative comments.
So after you have thisconversation with your fear, the
next thing to do is to moveyour attention to something else
that's more positive, and thisis critical, because your
(20:23):
emotions follow your thoughtpattern you have a thought first
and then you have an emotion,not the other way around.
Move your emotion to somethingmore positive, like a picture of
your wedding day, maybe YouTubevideos that are funny.
Move your attention tosomething that will bring you
joy and open the heart.
When you feel yourselfoverwarring, being too angry
(20:45):
about another big fat negative,or feeling so sad about
something, you can use thismethod First acknowledge, then
have a conversation about whereit's coming from and then move
on to something more positive soyou can experience joy and
happiness.
But fear shows up very often inour lives and it has a huge
(21:05):
impact on fertility and health.
Any of these emotions that Imentioned.
You might be thinking well, I'mthis archetype, so I don't have
to worry about this emotion.
I'm a wood, so fear isn't aproblem.
The truth is, if you experienceone emotion for long enough, it
(21:28):
is going to start to affect allthe other organs and it will
have an impact on your health.
Okay, we're wrapping up here.
I hope this episode has gottenyou to look at your emotions in
a whole new, different way andthat you now have a better
understanding of how emotionalwell-being is a crucial piece of
the puzzle when it comes totrying to conceive.
(21:50):
If we can manage our emotionsappropriately, we're going to be
able to influence our healthand therefore improve our
fertility.
All right, friend, I'm so happythat I got to spend some time
with you today.
I really appreciate you tuningin.
If you have any comments orsuggestions, please send me an
(22:11):
email to info at adrienneweecom,or send me a text through the
podcast.
I will be happy to answer anymore questions that you might
have.
Until next time, take care ofyourself and your amazing body.
You are one fertile cycle awayfrom getting pregnant.
Welcome to the Practically Fertile Podcast.
I'm Adrienne Wee, doctor ofAcupuncture and Chinese Medicine
, functional MedicinePractitioner and Functional
Nutritionist.
I specialize in using anevidence-based method, blending
principles of East Asianmedicine and modern functional
medicine to help women optimizefertility and get pregnant.
(00:22):
I believe in a world whereevery woman who wants to be a
mother becomes one.
If you're tired of being toldthat you're infertile and you
want to take the right steps toget pregnant naturally and
quickly, this podcast is for you.
Hey, fertile friend, I do wantto take a moment before I get
(00:43):
into the episode today and letyou know about the restructuring
of my online programs.
I know that this day and age,there isn't a lack of
information.
You can find out so much aboutfertility just by simply typing
in a few words on Google.
That's good and bad.
We all know about Dr Google.
(01:05):
It gives valuable insights, butit's also a scary, scary place
to live in.
Everything on Google leads tocancer, terminal illness.
You're never going to getpregnant and that's by design,
because healthcare providers arenot legally allowed to make any
types of claims and they alsowant to be careful.
(01:27):
They don't want to take theresponsibility of telling you
that for sure you'll getpregnant by doing something and
then get sued for it.
Unfortunately, we live in alitigious society, just like the
McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit.
Common sense tells us thatcoffee might be hot, but we
still need to put a label on thecup that the coffee is hot,
(01:48):
just in case someone doesn'tknow that coffee is hot, and
they should be careful.
What you don't need is moreinformation.
You need an action plan.
My flagship program a few yearsago was extremely successful.
We had an overall pregnancyrate of over 50% for the people
who stuck with a program.
(02:09):
You might think that's low, butit's actually higher than the
national IVF average.
And keep in mind that this wasa work at your own pace program.
I had very little control overhow fast or slow someone learns
the material and, quite frankly,I don't really know how much
they were implementing thesuggestions.
(02:30):
But those who get pregnant theygot pregnant very quickly,
usually within six months.
However, times have changed.
A long program might not bepractical.
You don't really need a lengthyexplanation on why sugar is bad
for you.
You just really want to knowwhy am I not getting pregnant
and what do I need to do aboutit?
That's why I'm going to meetyou where you are.
(02:52):
I am planning on smaller,shorter, more actionable
programs in addition to mynormal flagship program.
So, whether you're juststarting out or you've exhausted
all your options, my team and Iwill be able to help you, and I
will give you more informationas these programs are released.
(03:13):
All right, so let's get on withtoday's episode.
I know that you love the tipsand tricks, but one common theme
I keep noticing over and overagain, based on my 16 years of
clinical experience, is thatwhat is preventing you from
getting pregnant could very wellbe mindset.
I do think that a lot of us arein denial about our state of
(03:37):
mind.
It's harder to quantify theeffects of a certain state of
mind.
Physical things are easier tonotice, like if your digestion
is off, your sleep is off.
This month, your cycle seems alittle weird.
These things we can notice, butit takes a long time for us to
realize that we're getting inour own way, sometimes, right?
(03:58):
Certainly, for me that's thecase sometimes, and I'm sure you
are too, and this is not goingto be an episode where I tell
you that you can't feel acertain way, because that's not
how I do things.
But what's really interesting isthat in Chinese medicine, each
emotion is tied to a certainorgan system and can absolutely
(04:19):
have an impact on the functionsof each organ system.
So far on this podcast, I'vetalked about the basic
principles of Chinese medicineand the four phases of the
menstrual cycle and the fivearchetypes, and I've touched on
various organs and how they arelinked to one of the five
(04:41):
archetypes.
Like spleen is the eartharchetype.
Kidneys are linked to the waterarchetype and liver wood.
So each organ has a job so thatyour body functions properly.
But I haven't talked in detailabout the emotions that are
associated with the functions ofeach of the important organs
(05:03):
for fertility.
This episode would definitelymake you evaluate your emotions
in a whole new, different way,and I hope that it can actually
help you to get out of the trapof certain emotions quicker if
you understand the impact thatit has on your fertility.
So let's start with the fivebasic human emotions Joy, worry,
(05:30):
anger, fear and sadness.
So joy is associated with theheart, worry is associated with
the spleen, anger is associatedwith the liver, fear is
associated with the kidneys andsadness the lungs.
You may have heard a lot ofenergy healers talk about the
heart chakra and opening theheart chakra.
If you do yoga, you'll hear theteachers talking about opening
(05:53):
poses that open the chest andthat if we're closed off in the
heart, we're closed off toopportunities and possibilities.
In the Chinese medicine world,the heart is our commander in
chief and it's super, duper,duper important because it's
like the hypothalamus, andhypothalamus is at the top of
the chain.
It starts the menstrual cycleevery single month.
(06:16):
If the hypothalamus isn'tworking, you're not going to
have a period A lot of times.
If someone has been trying toconceive for a long time, it's
hard to be happy, right, ifevery month you're getting a big
fat negative.
But think about it this wayKnowing that and that joy is the
emotion of the heart and theheart is like the hypothalamus,
(06:38):
at least in the Chinese medicineworld.
Do you see how just a littlebit of joy and happiness can
really enhance that energy andreally help your fertility?
What does that look like foryou?
Maybe it's going on a trip,maybe it's picking up a hobby
that you've pushed aside becauseyou're busy with the trying to
conceive things.
A lot of you tell me that youare struggling with putting your
(07:03):
life on hold because of tryingto conceive, like putting off a
trip because it doesn't coincidewith an IUI or something.
So maybe now it's time to takethat trip.
Whatever brings you joy, youneed to start adding them back
into your life, and that wouldreally enhance the heart energy
and really help those of you whoare the fire archetypes and
(07:25):
really help those of you who arethe fire archetypes.
Next up is worry.
Worry is associated with ourfriend spleen, the digestive
organ, the gut health, thesupplier of energy to all of our
organs, including ovaries anduterus, egg quality, lining
quality, a lot of things.
And worry is an emotion thatall of us are too familiar with
(07:49):
because that's what we do,especially being women.
We worry about everything fromwhat to eat for breakfast to
whether or not our shoes matchour outfit, to whether or not
others are talking about us, towhat's going to happen an hour
from now.
I don't need to elaborate here.
You know what I'm talking about, but overwarring damages the
spleen.
We talk a lot about diet andlifestyle and how certain things
(08:12):
can deplete your spleen energy,but overwarring will for sure
damage the spleen energy.
And what good does it do toworry?
Absolutely nothing, because youcan't change the past and you
can't predict the future.
Nothing, because you can'tchange the past and you can't
predict the future.
So why spend that preciousenergy?
If you're an earth archetype,one of your patterns of
(08:32):
imbalance might be qi deficiency.
You might also refer toyourself as the worry wart,
because the earth archetypes aremore likely to worry.
But even if your spleen energyis not affected now,
overworrying will for sure getyou there.
So we can't stop worrying.
But one very effective strategytaught to me by one of my really
(08:55):
good friends who is a therapistand she does work with women
who are trying to conceive a lotof times she talked about a
very effective procedure to getover this, and that is to set
aside some time to just worry,to think about all the worst
possible scenarios and then moveon.
(09:16):
So for you this might look likeafter dinner you have 30
minutes to yourself.
Maybe this is a good time to dothat.
Maybe a good time to do that iswhen you're walking your dog.
Whatever works for you, thepoint is to set aside a time
where you can just just benegative, think about all the
(09:36):
things that you're worried aboutand then moving on.
So the important thing here isto cut yourself off.
So try that and see if thathelps you.
Okay, moving on to anger, angeris associated with the liver,
the wood element, and beforesome of you think, well, I'm
(09:58):
never really angry there arevarious degrees of anger,
because liver is most affectedby stress and anxiety.
Although we use this generalemotion, anger this anger
emotion actually encompassesirritability, resentment,
depression, bitterness.
So think about the feeling youhave sometimes.
(10:19):
When someone announces apregnancy, it's probably coming
from the liver, and liver iswhat we call the commander of qi
.
The spleen makes the qi, theenergy, but it's the liver
that's responsible to make surethat this energy flows to where
it needs to go, like the ovariesand uterus and everywhere else.
(10:40):
When the liver is affected,energy flow becomes stagnant or
stuck, and then you might gettrapped in the cycle of qi
stagnation, causing qideficiency, and that causes more
stagnation and more deficiency.
Everything in Chinese medicinegoes around in a cycle, so you
have to remember that deficiencyin one place is going to affect
(11:02):
another.
And what's really, reallyimportant about the liver is
that it controls ovulation everymonth.
If you have late ovulation orirregular cycles, think about
your emotional state.
How many times have you told meI'm probably too stressed?
Well, now you know exactly howstress affects ovulation, you
(11:24):
can start managing it better, orat least be more aware.
Ovulation you can startmanaging it better, or at least
be more aware.
I do have to warn you when we'retalking about liver and
stagnant energy, don't run outand start a liver cleanse.
It is not going to beproductive for you.
You can't cleanse a specificorgan.
It doesn't work that way andour livers are made to be a
(11:48):
natural detox machine.
You just can't rush to process.
You got to let your body do itsjob and provide the environment
for it to do the job.
Plus, the liver goes through athree-step detox process anyway.
The first two steps it convertsa toxin and then it gets rid of
the toxin in the second step.
(12:08):
So you can easily end up with aton of toxins build up in your
blood and no way to get rid ofthem.
So just because your liverenergy is stuck, it doesn't mean
that you need to cleanse.
You need a better stressmanagement system, all right.
So some things to think about,like how you're stressing
yourself out, symptom watchingduring the two-week wait.
(12:29):
Are you obsessing overeverything that you're doing?
A lot of perfectionists tend tofall into the liver-tee
stagnation category, but ofcourse, anyone can be affected.
If you let the stress get toyou.
The liver-wood archetypes arejust a little bit more prone to
this.
Wood archetypes are just alittle bit more prone to this.
(12:50):
One of the best ways to releasestuck liver energy and I'm not
even joking here is to just letit all out and have a good cry.
I hear a lot of my patientstell me like I don't want to cry
, I don't want to cry, and Itell them no, you need to cry,
you need to let it out.
My team and I have this jokearound the office that whenever
a patient has this hugeemotional release, they've
(13:11):
reached a breaking point andthey melt down and they're
sobbing, crying and there's lotsof tears.
Whenever we see this, we're sohappy because we know that this
person's letting go of all thepent up emotions.
I kid you not nine times out of10, this person becomes
pregnant that very next cycle.
I kid you not.
Nine times out of ten thisperson becomes pregnant that
very next cycle.
And yes, there's evidence thatcrying releases endorphins and
(13:33):
reduces cortisol, so maybethat's one of the contributing
factors.
Now, of course, not every goodcry will mean that pregnancy
happens the next cycle, butmaybe it's a cycle after that.
Any way you look at it, lettinggo of the bottled up emotion
will help to unblock the energyflow.
So if you feel like crying, gofor it.
(13:56):
Let's talk about sadness next.
I want to save fear for last,because it is one of the most
important emotions and it has todeal with the kidneys, and I
just did a huge episode on thekidneys, and it has to deal with
the kidneys, and I just did ahuge episode on the kidneys.
Sadness is associated with thelung organ, and the lung organ
is something that we haven'treally talked about.
It's not part of the Chinesemenstrual cycle, but it is still
(14:24):
very much involved in theprocess, because the lung in
Chinese medicine is the immunesystem.
It is the defense of our body.
So much as what I want to teachyou to do is to strengthen your
body so that it's at the mosthealthy and fertile state.
When you get pregnant and we'resurrounded by toxins that
damage our immune system, and ifyour system, if your immune
(14:45):
system, is weak, you're going toget sick more often or you
might have an autoimmunecondition that pops out out of
nowhere.
These are all the things that astrong lung function will
prevent, and the lung isaffected by sadness.
One of my teachers from when Iwas in acupuncture school had
(15:05):
this really, really interestingperspective on Dana Reeves'
death.
I don't know if you rememberChristopher Reeves, the iconic
Superman.
He was in a horseback ridingaccident and left him completely
paralyzed and Dana, his wife,took care of him for a number of
years.
But within a few months afterChristopher died, dana, out of
(15:28):
nowhere, died of lung cancer andno one saw that coming.
She lived a really healthylifestyle and my teacher brought
up the fact that Dana had beencarrying this sadness and grief
for years about Christopher'saccident because she was the
caregiver and her entire lifewas turned upside down and then,
(15:49):
after Christopher died, thegrief and sadness just took over
.
So this is a super interestingperspective, but I want you to
maybe look into your own lifeand see if you can correlate any
incidences of a sudden loss ora period of extreme sadness and
if that had any effect on yourhealth whatsoever.
(16:09):
But anyway, trying to conceivewith no success is going to
bring a certain degree ofsadness, especially if you've
suffered miscarriages.
That's why it's super importantto allow yourself time to
grieve the losses and talkthrough the emotions.
The losses and talk through theemotions.
(16:33):
All right, so we're on to fear,and I saved this for last,
because fear is one of thehardest emotions to overcome,
but it has the greatest impacton fertility, since it's
associated with the kidneys.
You're a reproductive energysavings bank, and if you have no
idea what I'm talking about, Ijust did a huge episode on the
kidneys, and that's episode 15.
The reason fear is so hard toovercome is because it's a
(16:57):
survival mechanism that'sliterally hardwired into our
brain.
Fear is what stops us fromjumping off a roof, from
touching a hot stove, fromrunning in front of a bus.
Fear is what keeps us alive.
If you don't believe me, justGoogle why we're fearful, and
there are lots of resourcesabout this.
(17:20):
One of the biggest fears thatyou might have is no matter what
you do, you are never going toget pregnant, and this fear
drives your decision making.
You could be self-sabotagingand not even knowing it.
But, most importantly, constantfear is going to deplete your
reproductive energy savings bankexponentially.
So just a review ourreproductive energy saving bank
(17:45):
is what we inherit from ourparents.
It's what we were born with,and if you're upset about how
it's taking you so long to getpregnant.
Just think about this the moretime you give yourself to do all
the preconception work, themore you have to give to your
baby and the more that they haveto give to their baby and their
baby's babies.
So you're not just reallyprepping to get pregnant, you're
(18:08):
prepping for your futuregenerations.
So all this reproductive energyreservoir is affected by
lifestyle, diet, all the thingswe talked about, but it's also
affected by fear.
I really want you to think aboutwhere fear is showing up in
your life.
Now that you know it'saffecting your fertility in a
(18:28):
huge way, maybe you'll look atit differently.
It's impossible to just turnthe fear switch off with the
snap of a finger.
I wish that it would, butinstead here's what you can do
when fearful thoughts creep intoyour brain.
I want you to first acknowledgethe fear.
Don't fight it because youcan't.
It's again hardwired into ourbrain, and then I want you to
(18:53):
start a conversation withyourself about this fear,
something like I know.
This fear isn't real.
It's protecting me from beinghurt.
I can think of so many examplesof this, and I'm sure that you
can think of some fears that youhave about the trying to
conceive process and that whenyou sit down and really think
about it, you probably will findthat they're actually trying to
(19:17):
protect you either fromdisappointment or something that
might cause you harm in someway.
I remember talking to a womanone time at this event I was
hosting and I mentioned dairy.
Her comment was hell, no, I'mnever going to give up dairy.
Nope, not ever.
And I saw that it wasn't.
She didn't see the value ingiving up dairy, but she was
(19:39):
afraid that even cutting outdairy wasn't going to be enough
to help her get pregnant.
So she stops herself from eventrying it out.
So that't going to be enough tohelp her get pregnant.
So she stops herself from eventrying it out so that she
wouldn't be disappointed.
But maybe cutting out dairywould have helped her.
And so many of us have fear ofbeing criticized.
I definitely have that hugefear and you know I freeze up
(20:03):
whenever I had to go on FacebookLive.
I've done a lot of work and I'mgetting better, but my fear was
stopping me because it wasprotecting me from being hurt by
negative comments.
So after you have thisconversation with your fear, the
next thing to do is to moveyour attention to something else
that's more positive, and thisis critical, because your
(20:23):
emotions follow your thoughtpattern you have a thought first
and then you have an emotion,not the other way around.
Move your emotion to somethingmore positive, like a picture of
your wedding day, maybe YouTubevideos that are funny.
Move your attention tosomething that will bring you
joy and open the heart.
When you feel yourselfoverwarring, being too angry
(20:45):
about another big fat negative,or feeling so sad about
something, you can use thismethod First acknowledge, then
have a conversation about whereit's coming from and then move
on to something more positive soyou can experience joy and
happiness.
But fear shows up very often inour lives and it has a huge
(21:05):
impact on fertility and health.
Any of these emotions that Imentioned.
You might be thinking well, I'mthis archetype, so I don't have
to worry about this emotion.
I'm a wood, so fear isn't aproblem.
The truth is, if you experienceone emotion for long enough, it
(21:28):
is going to start to affect allthe other organs and it will
have an impact on your health.
Okay, we're wrapping up here.
I hope this episode has gottenyou to look at your emotions in
a whole new, different way andthat you now have a better
understanding of how emotionalwell-being is a crucial piece of
the puzzle when it comes totrying to conceive.
(21:50):
If we can manage our emotionsappropriately, we're going to be
able to influence our healthand therefore improve our
fertility.
All right, friend, I'm so happythat I got to spend some time
with you today.
I really appreciate you tuningin.
If you have any comments orsuggestions, please send me an
(22:11):
email to info at adrienneweecom,or send me a text through the
podcast.
I will be happy to answer anymore questions that you might
have.
Until next time, take care ofyourself and your amazing body.
You are one fertile cycle awayfrom getting pregnant.
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