#13: Reacting to Your Family’s Drama

Trigger warning: This episode contains content surrounding family/relationship issues that could potentially be distressing to the listener.

Welcome back to Pretty Funny! This week we're reacting to your family/friend/relationship tea. Thank you to all who submitted voicemails!

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ABOUT:

Brynne is the most scrumpt-diddly delicious bubblegum booty baddie to ever exist. Mario is a fast talking professional idiot. Together they’re a queen and a clown, “pretty and funny.” Explore the minds and the very real lives of a jester and his ladylove with their insane lore drops, toasty takes, and never ending madness. Laugh, cry, reminisce, learn, and grow with your favorite couple as they dive deep into any and all topics for your entertainment and education. New episodes every Wednesday! Enjoy :)

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Trigger warning this episode contains content surrounding
family and relationship issues that could potentially be
distressing to the listener. Oh, I'm so excited for this
episode. Try not to flash people.
Yeah, what happened to the rest of your shirt?
Ask your dad. What Hello for the cold open

(00:22):
today. Before we get into what we're
about to read, we just want to let everyone know what we're
doing. What are we doing?
We had such a good time with allthe voicemails and voice notes
and memos that we got last episode.
Yes, we decided to run it back. Yeah, so this week we asked
people to send in whatever family tea or drama they feel

(00:45):
comfortable with sharing us, andI'm literally so excited.
Family tea and drama. I know that this might a little
difficult because like with family tea, I know it runs deep.
Like that's generations of dramasometimes.
So like for people to have to call in and try to get it all in
a minute, 30 might be a little difficult.
But regardless, I'm very excited, yeah.
It's just going to be a tea party.
Oh yeah, it's literally, I thinkit's friends, family,

(01:06):
relationships. Yeah, friendships.
Just your biggest tea. I.
Don't know the main thing was family, but I think one of us
might have posted something and said just tea in general.
Regardless, we want drama and wewant to react to it and I can't
wait before we get into the voicemails, we're going to keep
this kind of short and simple. We had someone message our
pretty funny official account onInstagram with just the kindest

(01:27):
message that we have ever read it.
Was a great DM. And we got permission to share
it with you guys. So I am going to read it out
loud for you, OK? Dear Brendan Mario, this is a
letter of gratitude. I have autism and AM and I can't
speak. I have autism and AM in the
airport alone, which is very stressful to me.
I put on your podcast to stay calm and focused while
simultaneously entertained. After going through security, I

(01:49):
was particularly distressed. There I was sitting in a corner
at a random restaurant doing an autism when my ears got hit by
Did you Just fart? You just farted and I was
immediately tossed back into reality when those words were
then followed by. You should jar that up, sell
that online. I started laughing for a bit.
I'm glad I was alone in that corner because I would have been
taken by security if they saw a girl with a backpack crying in a

(02:11):
corner, then doing a strange smile followed by a very short
laugh, then looking around if someone was watching.
I'm grateful for your help though.
If you ever fear you're not using your platform right, Trust
me, this was very useful to me. Every time you smile, the world
becomes a better place. I teared up when I read that for
the first time. That was the sweetest message,
and the fact that we were able to be there for her while she

(02:31):
was dealing with that, yeah, it just warms my heart.
We're just really happy that we're able to help people in
whatever way that might be, whether it's a distraction or as
just an outlet for whatever. It always feels really good.
It's just nice when it comes full circle like that.
Yeah, because I use social mediafor the longest time as an
escape from my own reality and away to cope and like, just

(02:54):
posting about my day and using social media kind of as my
diary. I feel like it was a really
therapeutic thing for me and it got me through a lot of
difficult, stressful times. And so like hearing somebody
going, oh, the content that you're making is getting me
through those times. Yeah.
It's just really nice that like social media, which was my

(03:18):
escape, is now providing an escape for other people.
And this podcast specifically, which is a new medium for us,
like we're just seeing that it'salready having that effect.
Yeah, this early on it's really nice.
Yeah, I can also really, I can relate really well because I
deal with a lot of social anxiety.
I don't have autism, but I do I do deal with a lot of.

(03:39):
Social You threw up on our firstdate.
I did, yeah, because I was nervous because we were
literally just out in public. So I do the same thing,
especially in airports and things like that.
I'll watch other podcasts, honestly.
And it just, it is a really gooddistraction.
And it's just so cool that we'reable to be that for people.
Like I never thought that the day would come where I was doing
that for someone and with my farts too.

(04:05):
Yeah, let's roll to the intro. Welcome back to the Pretty Funny
Podcast. I'm Bryn.
And I'm Mario, thanks for havingus.
Good to be here. Great to be here.

(04:26):
Can't. Can't.
Can't. Can't.
Pretty much summarizes us honestly.
Can't I love your? Shirt.
Thank you. It's from Urban Outfitters.
What was it when it started? Like what is?
This like a holy jeans type joke.

(04:46):
No, just what did it start? Already that old?
I know you're 30 but like God damn.
No, I'm just I didn't know if itwas a pillowcase, a blanket, a
sweatshirt, it just OK. What type of like a long sleeve
shirt? A tube.
Top. Which one's the tube top?
What I'm wearing. Wait till it comes like that.
Yeah, You didn't like make it like that.
No. Oh, that's cool.

(05:07):
OK, sorry for asking about fashion.
God, Oh my God, you remind me ofone of my uncles.
What in the sense that? What the fuck?
What do you mean I shouldn't ever remind you?
Go to church. With one of my uncles and they'd
be like, oh, did you get those jeans 50% off or whatever the

(05:29):
fuck because they have holes in them.
Like, oh, you must be wearing those church because they're
your holy jeans. Oh God.
We're just going to go ahead andget right into all of this
family tea and drama. We have so many recordings.
And our wonderful, beautiful, amazing, talented editor, Emma,
we love you. She vets them all.
She sends them to us in a particular order for us to

(05:49):
listen to. We have not listened to them
before right now. Yeah, like, live.
You're hearing it here first. Here we go.
And we have little red flag for our viewers, for our viewers.
So if we feel like there's red flags, we can wave them about.
And we have green flags on the way, but these ones were, I'm
pretty sure these ones were prime.
I think the other ones are tomorrow.

(06:11):
Oh, so we should have waited to film.
I don't know. OK, let's just get right into it
and we'll do the first one. Again, this is T family T this
is family friend T just we're having a tea party.
It's. Mainly family.
Mario keeps throwing friends in there.
I think this is mainly just family drama.
Well, here we go. Well, we'll find out.

(06:32):
Oh my God, Bran Mario. First, I just want to say
absolutely love you guys. Obsessed with the podcast.
I've listened to every single episode.
Wednesdays are my favorite day. Anyway.
My relationship friend drama. I'm from a small town so we
automatically know there's always drama there.
Anyway, when I was in high school, I dated this boy for
about 3 years. Four years actually.

(06:54):
I did hear speculation when we first started dating that he was
sleeping with somebody else withone of his little sister's
friends. Confronted him about it.
Obviously he said absolutely not.
That is a lie. He said.
I will admit I did kiss her before we were dating.
So I'm like OK, can't really do anything about this now.
I believed him. I continued to date him for

(07:15):
probably at that point. It was like 3 1/2 years
afterwards. Anyway we broke up in around
2020-2021 and I'm now in a completely new relationship.
Have been in a new relationship for the past three years.
Just found out that he admitted to his ex-girlfriend that he
dated after me that he was cheating on me with his little

(07:36):
sister's friend. And here's the kicker, he named
his fucking dog the same name asher when me and him were still
dating. I went and helped him pick out
this sweet little golden retriever and he named it this
name and I was like oh that's a different name but whatever.
He named it the same name as thegirl that he was cheating on me
with that he swore he wasn't, who is also his little sister's
friend. Anyway, I found out about it

(07:58):
years later so couldn't really do anything but that's my tea.
There's a lot to unpack there. First of all, very sorry that
you were cheated on. Just a small town girl.
Living in a tuning world. Oh my God.
Oh God, his little sister's friend.
What's the age gap there? Is it like, should we be

(08:20):
concerned? But regardless, like, there's
got to be at least a couple years or maybe there's just a
year between you and your sister.
I don't know. Going for your little sister's
friends? Yeah, EW.
Yeah, EW. The dog thing also run it back
real quick because if I found out that the man if you if we
got a pet together and you namedit after the girl that you were

(08:40):
cheating on me with. Oh my God.
I wouldn't be able to love that.Like does she still have the
animal or did he take the animalor is it his because now?
Also if he's dating this girl that he was cheating on you with
then she knows like that he named his pet after her.
Like what? What?

(09:02):
I don't understand. It would be like if me and you
got a pet and you named it Patricia, all while cheating on
me with a girl named Patricia. Yeah, I don't understand why
you'd want to put your mistress's name and associate it
with the dog. Like, I don't know if that's
like a little weird kink where you just want to like, like, is

(09:23):
it? A.
Power thing yeah, like a little stab little jab, little
unbeknownst thing like oh, you're loving this dog that's
actually the name of like the girl I'm cheating you with so
like you're saying like her namein like a positive way like it's
this weird like power trip pridealpha kink is what I'm.
Taking up whatever it was, I don't like that.

(09:44):
Also, I need to apologize because I really hung down on
the fact that this was all goingto be family drama and that was
obviously friend and relationship to you.
I told you that I think it was like pretty open, like on the
TV. OK, OK.
I'm sorry. EW.
Yeah, that was disgusting. I'm so sorry.
And also just the just sorely for the fact.
Sorely for the fact. Yeah, purely for the fact.

(10:07):
Purely for the fact, yeah, go. Ahead with that that you were
cheated on like that immediately.
Sorry, all the shit on top of that.
Yikes. Yikes.
Yeah, it's bad enough to find out that you were cheated on or
just going through the process of being cheated on without all
these little Easter eggs off to the side.
You know what I'm saying? Like what the fuck?
Yeah, like when I found out I was cheated on, it was just

(10:28):
like, it was pretty straightforward.
That's some like David Fincher mind freak plot twist bullshit.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
Oh, not only was I cheating on you, Deborah the dog.
Yes, that's the name of the woman that I your little.
Sister. Oh EW, and then that part too.
Oh my God. Do you want to play the next

(10:50):
one? Just a small town girl.
Living in a cheating world. Not much to say there.
Just just EW and I'm sorry. Yeah.
OK. Hello.
Hello. My name is Avril.
I want to tell you guys that youguys are amazing.
And yeah, so my grandma, she don't like any of her daughter

(11:10):
in laws. And her eldest son cheated on
his wife a couple years ago and she found out about it and she
tried divorcing him. And apparently it's
superstition. Like in my family, we're all
assuming this. We're not really sure.

(11:31):
We know that she's like, into like, you could say witchcraft,
right? Because like in like Mexican
tradition, that's what we calledit.
And apparently when she found out that her son cheated on his
wife, right, she got upset aboutthe fact that my aunt wanted to
leave him over it. So apparently, quote UN quote,

(11:55):
apparently she put a curse on myaunt to make sure that she could
never leave him. And I think in 2019, it was
their 25 year anniversary for them being married and they like
redid their vows. So yeah, I don't, I don't, I

(12:18):
don't know how that's going along with them.
And when he cheated, he found another that the other woman
pregnant. So your uncle cheated on your
aunt Smokes sorry. So let me get this straight,
your grandma doesn't like any ofher daughters in law correct?
And then your uncle cheated on your aunt got another woman

(12:41):
pregnant? So your grandma did witchcraft
on your aunt so that she wouldn't leave your uncle?
La Lorna, La Lorna. That's this is like the the
sequel to Coco. This is like a telenovela.
You know what I'm saying? Wait.
Yeah, what was the spell that she did and can you send it to

(13:02):
me? It'd be kind of fire to be
cursed. Wait, hold on, wait.
Harry Potter. All the best people in life were
cursed like Harry Potter. Mario, my ex best friend, you
know, the one her mom was reallyinto like witchcraft and like
spells and doing all that kind of stuff.
And there was a couple points where I was like, I swear to God
this woman cursed me. Like genuinely, I was like, I

(13:24):
know for a fact she did some weird stuff.
Well they did weird stuff in general when we stopped being
friends, but like. Some voodoo Mama juju.
Yeah, knowing her, literally, I remember when after I had my
restraining order when I lived in Arizona, she came and she
made us put water out for the full moon so that we would have
moon water or whatever, and thenwe had to.
What do you mean or you said or whatever like this is such like
a no, I have. No idea what the fucking We had

(13:45):
to write our manifestations and like, burn them in the moonlight
and like we did all this stuff and yeah, so when we stopped
being friends, I was like, I know for a fact that woman is
cursing me as we speak. I feel like if I had a wish I
wouldn't want to light something.
The ashes, I don't even rememberwhat it what it all was.
My mother, who, you know, raisedme religious, she got me like a
little spiritual set for Christmas for my advent calendar

(14:06):
that year. That was like protection
crystals and spells and things that I could put in my house to
help protect my home and like sage to cleanse my home and all
of that. It's fun.
We should cleanse our house sometime.
I know I make a mockery of it a lot, you know what I mean?
But I believe in it. Like I kind of believe in
everything and like I feel like everything has truth to it.
And when it comes to like witchcraft and voodoo and what

(14:28):
have you, and like curses and things and things beyond our
realm, our dimension that we cansee, which I heard a very
interesting fact the other day, what just because we have eyes,
we can see things. Just because we have nose, we
can smell things. Just because we have nerves, we
can feel things. Only our body parts dictate our
world. So maybe we don't have a body

(14:49):
part that can sense something else and we're missing out on
huge portions of our world. Imagine we had another body
part. Yeah, that can.
Sense or smell. Yeah.
And it can pick up on something else.
And that's just a new way to experience life.
Be freaky. It would be.
Be cool, I don't know, I get. I don't want to know about the
spirits. I feel like we should be like

(15:10):
researching, like some deep cultural like mythology to try
to solve this, to break the curse like this is like the.
Oh, that's on them. You can't break it for.
Them you don't want to help out at all.
You don't want to be like. I don't know names hold on
locations. Hold the fuck?
On I don't know who sent this in.
What if this is our opportunity right here to become the next Ed

(15:32):
and Lorraine? I don't want to.
Conjuring. I don't, you know what I'm
saying. Isn't their last.
Name. This might be Our Calling.
Like they reached out to us and maybe we're supposed to go.
Who you going? To call Mario, I literally do
not. Pretty funny podcast.
We've had this conversation. I want nothing to do with
chasing ghosts. You wouldn't want to go out with
like Sam and Colby. No, we've talked about.
This Oh my God, Sam and. Colby Like I've ever seen this.

(15:53):
Ever. Know this, I am so down to go
and I'll do everything I can to convince her to go and I feel
like it would be the funnest ghost adventure of all time.
I'm sorry it's not happening. I'm.
Not what was the original story now.
Her grandma cursed her aunt for her aunt trying to leave her
husband because he cheated on her and got another woman
pregnant. This is like a telenovela and
Encanto mixed into one. Like the grandma's just passing

(16:14):
out curses and like magical abilities and things like that.
There's a whole group of people that are very spiritual that
believe that like the most political people are like people
in power have a big team of witches behind them to help them
gain and keep power. Like Coven?
Yeah, like, literally like Trumpas like witches on his side that
like, protect him. And he's got to.

(16:35):
Yeah, he's got to for sure. Hi Brennan Mario, my mom now has
a high earning only fans after 18 years of raising me as a
hardcore Christian. Thank you.
God sweet summarize straight to the point.

(16:56):
I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say.
I can't imagine how that would feel.
Well, the hypocrisy. The hypocrisy.
Raising you for 18 years as a Christian and then not only just
having an only fans, a high earning only fans.
If you want to do an only fans, do an only fans.
I could give a fuck less. Like it's your, your body, your

(17:17):
choice is what you want to do. I don't care if you want to make
money doing it, you can do it. If I could do it, honestly, I
don't know. Maybe I'd dabble in it.
However, however, if I spent 18 years of my life devoted to a
religion, you know what I mean? And pushing that, I'm guessing
very strongly on to your family and your kids and your friends

(17:41):
and your community around you, right?
And then immediately once they turn 18 and they can make their
own decisions, you're just goingto completely backtrack on all
those morals and values you instilled in your child like
that. Just like I can understand the
frustration right off the get go.
It's just like. Not only that, but I fully
understand how traumatic it could be to think of your mother

(18:03):
in that sense. Yeah.
And like what that implies and like how just confusing that
might seem. Yeah.
I don't know. It's another thing, too, where
it's like, maybe if she was justdoing it, but like, obviously
you're aware of it. And I don't know if you've had
conversations with her, but I know how just icky that can
feel. I could understand the
frustration of living in a household where you were taught

(18:26):
certain morals and values based on some sort of religious
background. Obviously she must have
instilled that in you. And I know what it's like being
raised Catholic and now I'm moreagnostic.
I don't really identify with anyreligion at all, just a third
party perspective, unbiased completely.

(18:49):
She put all those morals and values into you and once you
turn 18 and you got onto the world and she goes, oh, I've
like raised this kid and now I'mjust going to completely
backtrack on everything I taughthim for you.
I could understand how frustrating that is because all
you see is hypocrisy. You know what I'm saying?

(19:09):
Because at the end of the day, if your mom wants to do an only
fans, if that's what she's always wanted to do, then that's
what she can do. I mean, that's, that's literally
that's her freedom. That's her choice.
And, and I completely agree thatthat is her freedom and that is
her choice. But I also could see how that
might just feel icky, I think isthe best way to put it, and
maybe even a little traumatic because no one wants to think of

(19:30):
their parent in that way. A lot of traumatic.
And I hope that if you can afford it and if you have the
means to, that you are talking to a therapist about this,
because I feel like it is a really complicated situation
with a lot of layers to it. Long story short, if you are
bringing this up to your mother and you're just going hey, I'm
not OK with this and she says what I just said right where she

(19:53):
goes, well I can do whatever I want.
I'm a full grown adult. You're a full grown adult.
Like doesn't matter what happened before then this is
what I'm doing now. It's obviously not breaking any
laws if she's throwing all that in your face and completely
discrediting the fact that she made you a devout Christian.
Where obviously things like onlyfans.
Aren't really a big fan to the Christian community.

(20:15):
I don't know how to put it. But if she's trying to throw
that in your face instead of like understanding what she did
and taking accountability for what she did, putting the
religious restrictions on your life, I'm assuming you know you
left it short and sweet. So I'm just kind of building a
lot of exposition around this. But Long story short, if you
feel any sort of way about it where you're upset, you're

(20:36):
completely justified. I really hope that you get help
but. Regardless, we're sorry you're
going through that. That is a lot.
Because at the end of the day, your mom can do it.
Whether she's gracious or takes accountability and
responsibility for her actions and how she raised you and how
it affects you now, her participating in that activity,
I don't know. These are gonna be deep.
I know we wanted tea, but I forgot that tea can be tea can

(20:59):
be a lot. Good luck brother.
I don't know what's to tell you.She completely has every right
to do what she's doing. And you have every right to feel
the way you're feeling. Yep, So Yep.
Godspeed. Jesus Christ, here we go, next
one. So my dad has a lot of aunts and
uncles on his mom's side. My grandmother is 1 of 21

(21:20):
children. She has eight siblings, 8 full
siblings and then 12 step siblings.
Big Catholic family. Her mom had nine kids, remarried
after her husband died to a man who had 12 kids whose wife had
died and they remarried because her kids needed a dad, his kids

(21:42):
needed a mom, they were in love.The end, or so we thought.
Big family, huge Catholic family.
We had no idea until recently that my grandmother, my great
grandmother, actually had a tenth child that nobody knew
about because it was after her husband had died.
And she had had this one night stand with a man and wound up

(22:08):
pregnant and went away for a fewmonths and had the baby and gave
her up for adoption because she was ashamed of this mistake she
made as a very religious Catholic person.
And nobody knew until a couple years ago.
And everybody loves everybody. It's all big.
One big happy family. Still.
We have a bonus on now. She's amazing.
But nobody knows who her dad is because my now over 100 year old

(22:32):
great grandmother doesn't want to tell anybody because of her
Catholic shame. A poor old woman.
But yeah, that's my unexpected family drama.
Can you imagine like Thanksgiving with that family?
I was. Raised in a big Italian Roman
Catholic family like I had like 30 plus first cousins on my like

(22:52):
I had a bunch of aunts like everything whatever.
I can't imagine with having likeimmediate siblings like all
together like the Thanksgivings.You know what?
I. Mean like or the family drama.
Yeah, well, the the drama, obviously, but I'm just saying
like the pickleball tournaments,like the woofer ball games, like
the. Thanksgiving.
Football big. Family sometimes because like my
dad's side, he has five siblings, which is a lot.

(23:16):
I mean, you're one of five. Yeah, but like, my dad has five
siblings, and so like being on his side of the family that
would literally, because there'ssix kids, that would literally
be like triple, no, quadruple his, my dad's side.
Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, it's like cheaper by the
dozen, but it's two dozen and then you think about literally
22 kids. So it's almost like cheaper by

(23:36):
the by the two dozen. Like that's insane.
Well, yeah, and our the caller, she is the grandchild, so I
can't even imagine how many cousins she has.
This family I would like to thank for keeping the human
population on track, OK, becausewe're a couple of Dinks, dual
income, no kids, you know what Imean?
We don't really have any plans in the foreseeable future

(23:57):
hearing that you guys alone got like 23 on your squad. 1° of
separation from everybody. It's like some Genghis Khan shit
right there. That's insane.
Yeah. Were you guys trying to build an
empire? What's going?
On the fact that we've probably run into them at some point,
there's so many of them, like, that's insane.
Yeah, have I dated one of your like, cousins or something?

(24:22):
Have you? I don't.
Know have I? Where are you from?
Yeah, that would like, imagine like going up to that family
like you're Stuart Little. Yeah, You know what I mean?
And you're just like Stuart Little.
You've never seen Stuart Little?No.
What? No.
OK, let me run you through a couple Mouse movies to make sure
you Have you seen Five O Goes West?
No. Have you seen The Rescuers?
No. Have you seen Mouse Hunt?

(24:43):
No. Minnie Mouse's fucking
Playhouse. No, and it's Mickey.
Mickey Mouse's fucking Playhouse.
No, you got some. Have you seen?
Ratatouille. Oh, so you like rats but you
don't like You don't like. Wait, what were we talking?
Cinderella. A lot of mice in that one.
OK, that's mice heavy. Yeah, thought I was with some

(25:03):
mice hater. Well, I haven't been to the mice
meetings. And more of a cat girl.
That is true. You have that many people in
your family, like you're gonna take in one more.
Yeah, yeah. Congratulations on your fruitful
family. If you guys all get along, I
don't think there's anything better than that, honestly.
Yeah, sure. They have some tea within that
family though. Oh, for sure.

(25:24):
But like, if you all got along, like, I'm like one of five and
my siblings are like, my best friends, You know what I mean?
Yeah. So like, if you guys all get
along and it all flows cohesively and you guys all can
hang out, like, you would never need friends.
You never need anything else. You know what I mean?
You have like a whole literal like cult Yeah going on.
Cult is a strong word I. Have the thing about religion,

(25:46):
and that's true. Yeah, if you guys all get along.
What a beautiful gift. Yeah.
Oh yeah, I'm saying OK. Let's go on to the next one.
This is number 69 anyway how to ruin a friendship one O 1 First
get them a Kit Kat Second, give them the Kit Kat Third watch
them eat the Kit Kat and they donot break apart the pieces and

(26:09):
they eat it like a chocolate bar.
You know that friendship is never going to last.
I literally have a video of one of my old friends eating a Kit
Kat bar, like a chocolate bar. And us like, getting mad at her
over it. And over the next the rest of
the year, it was the worst friendship ever.

(26:30):
And there's so much drama and she got involved with so many
people that were like criminals.And we were in the middle of
doing our education degrees. And it was horrible.
It was not good. And she was, yeah, it just
wasn't good. She really became a horrible
person. And so therefore, I believe that
if you eat a Kit Kat bar like a chocolate bar, you're just

(26:53):
genuinely a horrible person thatwill not move past that.
Thank you. Couple things.
First of all, do you know what she means when she says eat it
like a chocolate bar? Yeah.
Like you pull it out and like they're all stuck together and
you just take a bite at that. You were so confidently nodding
throughout this whole thing. Yeah, I was like, I don't know
what the fuck's going on. So you take the ball and run

(27:14):
with it. I'll let you take this one.
What the fuck? I don't know if there's actually
a correlation between how you eat a Kit Kat bar and what kind
of person you are, but I would like to throw my hat into the
ring and explain how I eat a KitKat bar.
I take the stick, right, I breakit apart, and then I eat all of
the chocolate from all the edgesand the top and the bottom.
And then I eat it wafer by wafer.

(27:34):
Like I bite off each, you know, this.
And I sometimes like, I'll take the wafer off and then I'll
scrape the layer in between the wafers and then I'll take the
next wafer, scrape it. I think Corning Kardashian also
eats hers that way. I've been doing it since I was
child. I was not influenced by Corning.
But I don't know if there's any correlation to like how you eat
a Kit Kat bar. Kat Bar I don't know if there's

(27:56):
any correlation between how you eat a Kit Kat bar and what kind
of person you are, but honestly,I support you because I can be a
superstitious person sometimes, so if that's the reasoning you
have for why your friend was a terrible person, so be it.
If you want to tell an anecdote about how you ate Kit Kat bars
in the same way Kourtney Kardashian did before Kourtney

(28:20):
Kardashian went public, with that knowledge, you can just say
that anecdote. You don't have to.
I don't want people to think that I'm just copying Kourtney
Kardashian. No one was wondering, do you
think TMZ is at the front door right now?
Wait, wait. Comment, excuse me, no genuinely
comment if you think that. Like if I told you how I ate my

(28:42):
Kit Kats and if you thought of Kourtney Kardashian, please.
No one would have ever thought of that.
If I'm wrong, If I'm wrong, you're.
Going. To tell me I'm wrong, Yeah.
She came down in a bubble bro, Sorry.
My mom taught me how to eat themthat way.
So you're saying it's like generational?
Yeah, I'm just saying you have this vendetta against Kourtney

(29:02):
Kardashian. No, I don't.
I love. Her dad.
Actually, that's a. Hold on, hold on, I.
Really like her let me play gummies though.
Non spawns. Non spawns.
I've been. What does that mean?
I've been. What?
Ready to go I. Don't know what you're I'm so
lost. They're the libido gummies.

(29:24):
Oh what the fuck? I don't know what you're talking
about. Kourtney Kardashian made them.
OK, what are you talking about? Make me horny.
What are you talking about? What's happening?

(29:44):
What is wrong with you? Do you think oysters are an
aphrodisiac because of what's inthem or because they look like a
vagina at a? Certain point in the day where
you just get so fucking weird and I'm so glad we're capturing
this on camera because you'll just.
Did you hear me? Like there's this witching hour

(30:05):
in the night where you just become a psycho.
What are you doing my? Eyeballs are watering.
I believe you. I feel like you're too close to
this Kit Kat situation to comment on it.
We need to comment on whether eating a Kit Kat bar like a
slice of pizza makes you a terrible person.
I already commented on that. I said as somebody who takes the

(30:28):
way I eat a Kit Kat bar very specifically, there may be a
correlation to how you eat a KitKat bar and what type of person
you are. Also, with someone
superstitious, I fully understand why you see someone
eat a Kit Kat bar in the weirdest way possible.
Yeah, eating it like that is theweirdest way possible.
Just as a chocolate bar. I understand why you might think
that. That person is then crazy.

(30:49):
It's like eating a burrito sideways, you know what I mean?
Instead of eating it long ways, you're eating it.
Do that again. I'm good.
I feel like out of everything that she just told us, she
focused on just the most minuscule, unimportant detail.
You know what? I mean, I understand that.
All this stuff happened in her rosebud of the entire situation

(31:12):
was just she saw her eat a Kit Kat without breaking it apart
one time and she thought that was weird and she was like, oh,
ever since I saw her do that or like that's what I associate
with her being weird. That's what made the whole
situation weird. All or terrible actions?
Can I get philosophical for a second?
Sure. The Kit Kat is just an example

(31:33):
of how she it it's a very clear example of how her ex friend
just worked differently and her like her brain worked
differently than hers. It's a clear cut example of she
is a different type of person than I am right, yes.
So therefore that is understandable why the
correlation between the Kit Kat and her heinous actions because

(31:58):
it's like, oh, I saw this weird little thing she did.
It's like the whole conversationof like, sociopaths don't yawn
when other people yawn. Yeah, it's that kind of thing.
It's like it's it's an indicatorof like, oh, your brain works
differently than me. You are different than I am.
It's like eating pizza crust first or like a burrito sideways
like. Yeah, it's just doing something

(32:19):
out of the norm. Yeah.
It's like just doing something in a way that's like, not
sheepish or like, lemming, like,like you're just, like, doing
something against the norm, but it still works.
But it's recognizable to the point to where it stands out, to
where it's like, oh, your brain's different.
Like, I see what you're saying now.
Yeah. OK, yeah, interesting.

(32:39):
It's just a clear cut example oflike, oh you're a little weirdo
aren't you? If there's anybody out there
listening, watching this and youknow somebody that eats Kit Kat
bars in that exact fashion, now would be the time to weigh in.
Is that person a piece of shit? Because we don't have the
answers. I don't know anybody that eats a
Kit Kat bar that way. I don't either.

(32:59):
I also like to eat Twix by eating all the caramel off 1st
and then the chocolate around the sides and then the.
Cookie hold on one second. How?
How did Jeffrey Dahlmer eat Kit Kat bars?
Did you just type that into yourWord document?
Yeah, I'm not. We're just going to roll right

(33:20):
into the next one. Please comment how you eat your
Kit Kat bars. Yes.
Hi Brynn. Hi Mario.
I love you both. OK, so my family tea is I have
not spoke to my dad since I was maybe 4.
I'm turning 29 this year, so obviously that is quite some
time. Anyway, I get a text message
from his sister like back in November and she was telling me,

(33:46):
hey, your dad has stage 4 cancer.
I don't know if you want to comelike meet him, say your
goodbyes, all that other stuff. Ultimately I was like, probably
not. And then maybe a couple weeks
after that, she was like, hey, your dad has passed.
The funeral will be announced a day or two within the next day

(34:09):
or two. And I was like, alright, cool.
Well, I sat and waited for that funeral announcement and it
never came. And then I get a collections
phone call from somebody and it turned out, Long story short,
that he had stolen a bunch of furniture from a furniture place
and the state of Alabama was looking for him.

(34:30):
And so we tried faking his own death and in the meantime was
trying to get me to actually talk to him for the first time
in over 20 years. OK, that's it, bye, love you.
What the fuck? He went.
Full Ernest Hemingway when he could have just, I don't know,

(34:50):
knocked on the door. Yeah.
And then like, hey. That was such AI was not
expecting that Christopher Nolanplot twist at the end right
there. That was insane.
What? Wait, so he.
Wait was your aunt like also in on it though?
Did he concoct that whole story to evade the law?
Was that part of it? Yeah, he faked his death to

(35:12):
evade the the furniture stealing.
So this dude goes into a fuckingIKEA, right?
In Alabama. And he takes some Swedish
shelves. He runs away.
Alabama's after him. And he's like, you know what?
I know exactly where to stash it.
I'm going to call my daughter. No.
He wasn't trying to do that. Well, I'm just This is my

(35:34):
theory, this is how it's playingout of my head.
No, his, no, his reaction was tofake his own death, and in the
meantime he thought that that was an opportunity to also
reconnect with his daughter thathe hadn't spoken to in 25 years.
He must have just gotten the best furniture, like gotten
away, you know what I mean? Like he must.
Have how much furniture? Like this must have.
Been how can you steal a lot of furniture?
This must have been like the biggest IKEA heist of all time.

(35:57):
You should look up if there is. Furniture stolen.
You should look up if there. Was an Alabama.
Yeah, furniture stolen, Alabama.A lot of furniture gets stolen
in Alabama. I feel like this dude was just,
like, backed into a corner, you know what I mean?
Like, the walls were closing in around him, and his life was
flashing before his eyes. He thought the end was near.

(36:17):
So after pulling off the greatest IKEA furniture heist of
all time, he was just kind of being very sporadic, trying to
evade the law. Maybe I'll call my daughter that
I haven't talked to in 25 years or like, yeah, that's why I'm
like, I better fake my death. Yikes, I'm sorry that that's the
way your dad tried to reach out to you though.
Is like looping you in with faking his death for.

(36:38):
Yeah, what furniture? Stealing.
You go 25 years without talking to your daughter?
Talk about an ice breaker. You know what I'm saying?
Like, he went all out. Like, I kind of appreciate the
theatrics, the more I think about it.
Like, was anyone hurt? Yeah.
He just took some. Oh.
No, sorry, I said. Yeah.
And I took it as you saying no, because I know nobody was like,
he didn't hurt anybody. He just took a bunch of

(36:59):
furniture and faked his death. As far as we.
Well, I mean, I'm kind of. Assuming that his daughter might
have been a little hurt and well, I don't know, because I
feel like at that point you're so.
Is this the fucking plot to Despicable Me?
Like is this guy grew? You know what I mean?
Like he's just stealing shit andtrying to reconnect with his
estranged daughters. Maybe.
Girls, I went to the IKEA. That's good.

(37:21):
OK. Minions, tonight we steal the
couch anyway. OK, next one.
Do you even know which one it is?
There we go Hi guys, my name is Anna, I'm from Canada who love
your podcast, love you guys, butmy family drama is that my mom
has frontal lobe dementia. So it's kind of like

(37:44):
Alzheimer's, but it's basically instead of memory, she can't do
like cognitive abilities like writing, reading, like things
like that. And her entire family has
abandoned her. She has five siblings.
All of them are married and all of them have at least two kids.
Some have, there's one that has four kids and not a single one

(38:04):
of them has like reached out to her anything.
And I'm just wondering from you guys, could you ever just like
abandoned your siblings like that, especially in a situation
so sensitive and so touchy like that?
She's also the baby of the family.
She's the youngest. And no one has reached out to
myself, my father or my older brother as well.

(38:26):
I'm just wondering like, how canI carry on being close with
these family members and try to not cause drama with it without
being like a bitch basically? Because I think it's insane.
And I just want to know your guys's take on it and what you
would do in this situation. I would cause drama because
that's fucked up you. Don't have to cause drama.

(38:46):
I get what you're saying and I understand the passion.
All you can do is make yourself crystal clear and give your
family all the information that they could possibly know about
the situation so they are aware and they have no excuses.
They were made aware of what wasgoing on and if they choose to
help or not, that's on them. That's something that they're
gonna have to own up to our answer for someday.

(39:06):
I was about to say, I get I fully understand what you're
saying too, because it's like atthe end of the day, they're the
ones who have to live with the guilt.
Yeah, you can write them a letter, you can give them a
phone call, you could send them a text, you could send them an
e-mail. You send them all the
information that they should already know, that they should
actively simply answer your question.
No, I would never abandoned any of my siblings or family member
for that matter. Not to be devil's advocate, but

(39:29):
like if my we don't know the back story of everything and I
will say that if my family member was a gigantic piece of
shit, you know what I'm saying? Like if they were a horrible
racist, homophobic, what have you pick-n-pull whatever you
your deal Breakers are in life. I mean, it's pretty simple for

(39:50):
me, you know, just like as someone that just doesn't have
human decency, if you just want to excommunicate that person for
whatever they did to wrong you that you deem unforgivable,
great, that's on you. Obviously, if it's not one of
those situations. I was going to say, it doesn't
really sound like there's it doesn't any of that going.
On, that's what I mean. So it's just like you can make
them aware of what's going on and if they choose to help,

(40:11):
that's on them. I was almost going to say I
might understand it in the sensewhere people get like when when
traumatic things like that are happening, people might want to
like stay away because they don't want to feel the emotions
that are going to be tied to it.And they kind of would rather
just not engage and like keep themselves safe in a sense
almost of those emotions. I could maybe see that.

(40:34):
Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like with no emotion
attached to it. What I first said right off the
get go is make them fully aware of the situation any way that
you can, as neutral as you possibly can.
Like all you can do is just update them on what's going on
and provide them with the information of what they can do
to help, what they do with that information from that point.

(40:55):
That's on them and however dramatic that you want to get
for them not wanting to participate for whatever their
reasons are, that's on you as well.
That's your choice. However, I know what it's like
to not want to be confrontational, especially with
your family. And like, I'm a very
confrontational person like I, I'll just tell you how it is
right then and there. I don't care who you are, I've.

(41:18):
Told you you should be a little more scared.
I literally should just like tone it back a lot.
Like I just kind of say what's on my mind.
It just blurted out, no filter. And I understand for some people
that's like difficult to do and that's it's not a flex at all.
Like it's something that I'm actively working on, like taking
everything into consideration and not just blurting things out
no matter what it is. Like no matter who I'm talking

(41:38):
to. Like it's not a flex at all.
Like, that's why I'm actively working on myself and as dudes,
that's something. And you can either just ignore
and keep being a Dick or an asshole, or you can do something
about it that's a completely different conversation.
All I'm getting at is that you let them know what they can do
to help you update them on the situation.
Yeah. However they react is how they
react, and at the end of the day, they're going to be the

(42:00):
ones living with the guilt of it.
You've done everything you can. Yeah, and don't feel bad and
like that. You're completely valid and you
should do that and that should be your route that you should
take and. I understand why that's
frustrating too. And very brave and courageous to
speak out and we appreciate you using our platform and you feel
comfortable enough coming, you should.

(42:21):
Just send this to them. Honest like, like send them this
clip. I we really appreciate you
coming to us with this question and asking us this Yeah.
And we take it very seriously and.
Also, my heart goes out to you and your mom.
I'm sorry that you guys are going.
Through that that's that's terrible.
Like, I know what it's like to have older family members that
they need care and they don't receive it from other families.

(42:42):
Yeah. And oh, that's yeah, yeah.
You know who you are anyways. OK next one.
So my drama revolves around an ex-boyfriend of mine.
I met him three years ago when Iwas a senior in high school and
I met him actually on TikTok through my best friend who got

(43:02):
transferred to a different school because he really, really
liked her, but she didn't. Well, Long story short, we start
talking and we finally met and we started dating around our six
months. I finally got to see what kind
of person he was. I was very trapped in this
relationship, was very abusive mentally, physically,
emotionally, and verbally. It was just a very, very

(43:23):
sheisty, crazy relationship. Well, around our 10th, 11th and
one year, I got really suspicious because he was very
secretive. I found out he was cheating on
me with young girls, let's just say young girls.
And they also messaged me on Instagram with screenshots of
him flirting with them and all this and that.

(43:46):
And he claimed that oh, he was just looking for friends.
Well, the messages say otherwise.
So I was officially going to confront him on our one year but
I kind of was just waiting for him to say it to me or find the
right moment. Well it turns out that two days
after our one year I got sent 6 videos from his older brother
from a party that his brother had of my ex-boyfriend cheating

(44:09):
on me doing fondly things with aman.
So I didn't really have to confront him, I just sent him
the videos and broke up with him.
This is the second episode doingthis and I keep thinking I know
where this is going or like, okay, like I know what's gonna.
Happen. And then it just keeps getting
worse. Or there's just a complete bot

(44:31):
twist in the last five seconds. Yeah, immediately jail.
Yeah, if you have any sort of documentation, proof, evidence
that he was talking to young underage girls or whatever you
were alluding to with age, I'd hope that you turn that over to
the authorities if you haven't already.
And this is just like a fun little anecdote at this point.

(44:53):
That's not really that fun, but you know what I'm saying?
Like please, for the love of God, turn it in.
Yeah, if it's anything that is credible in a court of law.
But why? Why don't you just give that
over to the authorities? Who gives a fuck who he is cuz.
That's extremely concerning and like, yeah honestly like I I
also understand how toxic relationships can be and how it

(45:13):
can be difficult to leave people, but girl, you should
have fucking left the second youlearned that he was talking to
underage girls. What the fuck?
It should not have taken him hooking up with a man at a party
and getting like you had screenshots of him.
I love you. Thank you for your support.
Sorry that I'm kind of scolding you right now, but like the
second you found out he was talking to underage girls in any
way shape or form, that should have been an immediately like

(45:36):
game over fucking goodbye. Like deal breaker.
No, Coming from someone who has been in like toxic, emotionally
abusive relationships before, I am very sorry that you went
through that and I understand how difficult it can be to leave
in those situations. I understand wanting to
completely disassociate and get away from that situation and you
were. It sounds like you were just
hearing things and rumors of what was going on in your ex's

(45:59):
life. Yeah.
And from what you said, you wereall so young and and that can
also play a big part in that. Just God damn.
If if he's still out here it hasn't been punished for
anything that you have any sort of evidence or proof that he was
being a weirdo at any point, please do what you can with it

(46:22):
for the justice of people that aren't able to do it for
themselves. And, and always as a reminder,
I, I know that this might sound like a lot, but if you hopefully
do send in that information, getting a restraining order is
very easy. And I would recommend doing that
just for your own safety. But I do think that you should
turn him in because I'll, I'll obviously not for him hooking up

(46:46):
with a man. It sounds like he just has a lot
that he's suppressing and needs to work through.
Yeah, what the fuck? Yeah, OK.
Are you ready for the next one? I have the solutions, you know
what I mean. For a lot of these problems, I
feel like we need to go backwards in time, you know what
I mean? When it comes to like really
terrible things that these people do are.

(47:08):
You saying that he deserves likethe death penalty, I.
Don't know something A little medieval times, you know what
I'm saying? Just like some of them, I don't.
Wait, what? Is that where you chop them up?
No, that's where you tie them tofour horses and make them all
run in different directions so his limbs get torn apart.
Oh yeah, maybe, you know, maybe I don't know.
I just. Anyways, we're getting off

(47:29):
topic. Yeah, OK here.
Godspeed with that holy fuck. Thank God you're not with him
anymore. Yeah, sorry you had to deal with
that. Hi, guys.
I'm sorry this is not drama, butI just wanted to let you know
that I live in Honduras, in Central America, and I love your
podcast. Just wanted to let you know that

(47:50):
you are listened here in CentralAmerica.
I'm pretty sure that you are listening South America, Europe,
everywhere. I know I'm pretty pretty sure
about it, but I really enjoyed your content.
I follow you on Tiktok, Instagram.
I listened to this podcast is the best podcast ever.
Just wanted to let you know thatyou are listened here and

(48:12):
everywhere. I'm sure I'm not a very good,
like, speaker. English is none of my first
language. Just letting you know.
But thank you so much. Yeah.
I really enjoy listening to you.You really make my day way
better. Thank you.
Oh, that was so sweet. Aw, that was so sweet.
Sometimes Emma sends us ones that are just really nice for us

(48:34):
to hear. And that was, I think, one of
those. But.
That's so nice. That is like really surreal.
That's really cool. I really genuinely had no idea
that this podcast. When?
Someone that was in Central America was listening.
Well, that's when it. Was so crazy.
When I went down to Mexico, one of the workers at the resort
that I was at, she was driving me around in a golf cart and she

(48:55):
told me she was a big fan. And I was like, that's so cool.
Yeah, like that's actually insane to think about.
No, but wherever you're listening, tuning in from,
watching, commenting, whatever we.
Love you. We love you.
We can't appreciate you enough. Yeah.
Please let us know where you guys are from.
Yeah. Because that's so cool.
Yeah, so let's see the melting pot that we've concocted in this

(49:17):
beautiful, pretty funny cauldron.
You know what I mean? In the comments section.
Go for it. I'd love to hear where you guys
are from. And thank you so much for that
beautiful message. Oh my God.
We love you. That's a nice little joyous
break. It's like a butterfly flew.
Through Yeah, we needed that. We needed that as like a little
breather. Oh my God.
We have two more. OK OK here we go.

(49:38):
So back in like October time frame I went through my
husband's phone and found a video of him having sex with his
friend. He had cheated on me prior.
I got angry and I called both ofthem and the one female claims
to have gotten pregnant and aborted my husband's child and

(50:07):
yeah, ain't that some shit? Ain't that some shit?
I'm sorry, have you left him yet?
Please say yes. Wait, are they something?
Hold on, hold on. She.
Said my husband. It was so painful every time,
she said Husband. Yeah and not ex-husband or like.

(50:29):
On top of that, this isn't the first time it happened.
Yeah. You cheat on me.
We're not married. You cheat on me point blank,
period. Goodbye, goodbye.
Well, no, like the fact that there's some sort of rapport
between all three women. You know what I'm saying?
Where it's like, oh, like she just told me this like what you

(50:50):
guys are all communicating with with each other.
She. And yeah, he's she's his friend.
Does your husband know that? Like does he think you guys are
in like an open relationship? Like I'm like, is this in Utah?
What's going? On you got to get out of there.
Please, for the love of God, just leave your husband if you
haven't already. Yeah, I mean.

(51:10):
Even if you have kids. We're both children of divorce.
It we work out, it's fine. Just get out of there.
I would much rather have two parents who are alone and doing
their own things, happy, and I understand that I don't get full
time with them. I'm willing to sacrifice that

(51:31):
because they're happy and I havea better relationship with them.
Like 2 parents staying together for the sake of their kids.
Yeah, and we also don't know if she has.
I don't even know if they have kids.
I don't even know that's what itis.
Regardless though, whether you have children with this man or
not, just get out of there. What are you doing?
Just trying to throw as much encouragement as I can at you to
leave the situation, even thoughI know there's there's a million

(51:55):
things we don't know about this situation and how difficult it
could be. Yeah, just know that you should
be expedition doing it. Expeditiously.
You should expeditiously be doing everything in your power
to distance yourself and get away from this man and go out on
your own and take as much as youfucking can from him.
Yeah. Like, I don't, I don't know,
like, that's it's just really, really sad.

(52:16):
Well. That's also the two that you
found out about. Like I, I obviously don't know
the situation, not a part of thesituation, but if there's two
that you found about, found out about, I'm sure that there's
probably more. Does the dude doesn't give a
fuck about you because you know why?
He's a spineless, smooth brain, disingenuous, soulless piece of

(52:39):
shit. That's why he's doing what he's
doing. You might think that there's
some sort of redemption arc. You might think that there's
some sort of gold chess at the end of the rainbow, and I'm
going to tell you right now there isn't.
There's nothing waiting for you except more miserable bullshit
that he's going to put you through because he knows he can
get away with it, because he's continuing to get away with it.

(53:02):
So the only thing you can do is leave that situation and the
only time you have to give him any attention whatsoever it is
if you legally are binded to if there's some sort of contractual
or transactional thing between you 2.
Like children, like pets, like Idon't know your financial

(53:22):
situations, whatever what have you, but you should be actively
getting the fuck away from that piece of shit.
You can't base your relationshipon hope, whether that hope is
for who they might be in the future when they work on
themselves, or hope for who theyused to be when you first got
together. You have to take your
relationship as it is currently and think if that's the kind of

(53:45):
person you want to be with. It's embarrassing to be a man
sometimes. Does that make sense?
You know what I mean? No, I don't.
I'm not a man. It's just like, I know a lot of
dudes were raised in like the Playboy suave, like get as many
girls as you possibly can situation ship like player, like

(54:06):
that's so fucking cool, you knowwhat I mean?
And it's just it's it's it neverwas cool.
It never has been cool. There's no part of it that we
should be OK with. Or just normalize like from the
get go. This should have been some
irredeemable bullshit that assholes do.
And ladies, if there's any dudesand fellas, if there's any

(54:30):
ladies putting you through a similar situation, you need to
aggressively, loudly, proudly, relentlessly, expeditiously get
the fuck away from them. Yeah, I don't know how else to
put it. Yeah, like don't continue the
issue by letting them get away with.
It. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(54:50):
OK. He's fucking other ladies.
Disgusting. I mean like apparently allegedly
impregnated other another lady. Yeah, I just, and you're like,
why do you have a group? Tell me you're not with him
anymore. I really hope you're not with
him and maybe it's time to leavethe group chat with the
mistresses. Like I don't like I'm trying to

(55:10):
be sympathetic and like this is all the fucking dudes fault.
Like it's 1000% the piece of shit, not loyal, not a real man.
Like fucking loser. It's, it's this loser's fault
that you're going through this. And I'm so sorry.
And I have all the empathy in the world for you.
I just want you to get the fuck away from him.
Yeah, I'm sorry that you're going through that.
That sucks. Yeah.
And hopefully, hopefully you have people in your life that

(55:32):
can help you if you don't, if you ever need resources, there's
a lot of women's shelters that not only offer shelter, but a
lot of times, like when I got myrestraining order with my ex, I
got it through a women's advocacy group.
And you can get a lot of legal help, and they'll do it pro bono
for you. Yeah.
So you can go to court. Gonna try to provide some links
with some of the things that we're hearing in this video and

(55:52):
we encourage anybody listening watching if you've experienced
certain situations, if you I don't even know we should have
done a trigger warning or something like if you're
experiencing similar situations right now, if you have
experienced situations like this, I've always had like
military one source and the suicide hotline and things like
that in my bio in case you need somebody to talk to like

(56:15):
military one source. Obviously being a veteran,
that's something that's really important to me, like mental
health and all that stuff. So we're going to try to put
some links in our bio in links in this video that.
And aside from just links, the easiest thing you can do,
especially if you're a woman in an abusive relationship or a
relationship that you're really looking to get out of and you
might need some legal help, justGoogle women advocacy.

(56:35):
Women advocacy women advocacy groups near you and there should
be a lot of information on that.Good luck.
Fuck, sorry all. Right, this is the last one.
All right, do you? I'll just.
Just roll it. Let's do it all.
Right. OK, so Once Upon a time this is
like generational secrets. My great grandma, she was

(56:59):
married to my great grandpa obviously and she cheated on him
with the next door neighbor. She ended up getting pregnant
and had the baby. They never told the baby that he
was the product of cheating and to this day he's in his late

(57:20):
80s. Now.
To this day he still does not know.
We have kept that secret so wellthat Once Upon a time he wanted
to do a 23andMe. So his brother bought 23andMe as
quickly as he could and took thetest and got his results back
and told his brother it's OK, just look at mine, we'll have

(57:45):
the same results. This is a secret that everyone
in my family knows but no one will tell him because we know it
will kill him and both of those great grandparents are now
passed and everyone in the family knows except him.

(58:06):
Jesus fucking Christ, I can see that.
There's a lot of shame that's been put on the situation that's
been spread through this entire network of your family.
Doesn't matter where this human being came from, that's been a
part of your fucking family for 80 years.
He's a part of the family. Like you can tell him he'll be
OK. You guys are his family.

(58:28):
If there's anybody that can helphim through this, it's the, I
don't know how many countless people that are keeping this
secret from him maybe direct that energy into, I don't know,
telling him and showing that he's still a part of the fucking
family. Maybe watch Lilo and Stitch.
Like I don't know what the fuck to tell you.
Like this made me so actually like mad as maybe some of, you

(58:51):
know, having somebody that is technically your half sibling,
you know what I'm saying? That shouldn't be any sort of
shame whatsoever. Like you still look at them as
part of the family. You still love them as part of
the family. Like it's not even a question in
your brain. Like that's your brother, that's
your sister, that's your sibling, that's your family
member. The whole fact that you guys are
keeping this a big secret. And I could hear the shakiness

(59:14):
of your voice like, Oh my God, this is some big gigantic,
terrible burden that we're keeping from this 80 year old
beautiful man. Like what?
This just fucking tell him. Like lying leads fucking
nowhere. It's, it's, it's a terrible way
to go about it and that's why you all feel fucking terrible
about it. The biggest thing that would
upset him, most likely if he were to find out that he had a

(59:34):
different father than the rest of your family and the rest of
his siblings, is that he would feel shame and a disconnect from
your family. And the only people creating
that shame and disconnect that he might potentially feel is all
of you. And he doesn't even know why
that's happening and he is unaware.
I feel so bad for him. I feel terrible for him.
Yeah, like the only people that made this situation a big

(59:55):
gigantic, like you guys are like, what the fuck?
Like, I'm, I'm listening to it and you guys are describing this
like this is the ancestry of Game of Thrones, of like the
Lannisters or the Targaryens or some shit.
Your great grandma who's not even here anymore banged the
neighbor and had a kid, and thatkid spent 80 years with this
family and doesn't know any different.

(01:00:17):
Guess what? That's his truth.
He knows that he's a part of this family.
That's all he's ever known longer than the fact that you
know about this and he doesn't, and he's doubled your lifespan,
I'm guessing. Tell him, tell him or or don't
and he'll find out in whatever dimensional plane he goes to

(01:00:37):
after he dies and go oh why did my whole family keep this from
me like it was a big bad thing when all I've ever done is just
be myself and unbeknownst to me,everyone else feels this way
about me. It's unfair for you all to
assume his shame and to assume how we would feel when you are
the people perpetrating it. The only person that felt shame

(01:00:59):
was great grandpa and great grandma that wanted to keep it a
secret from the fucking neighborhood that grandma
wouldn't bang the neighbor and so they instilled that
generational shame into all the other kids.
Don't tell your brother. Don't tell your brother where
he's really from. Oh my God, like what the fuck.
Like he does deserve to know, even if honestly.
And it's sad, too, that he neverhad the opportunity to meet his

(01:01:21):
real father. Yeah, what the fuck?
Or to even have that conversation with his mother
about it. And obviously that's out of your
hands now. But he does still have family
that can still show him that he's welcomed.
I, I do, I in a way, I do understand why it hasn't been
told to him and why you would want to keep that a secret.
And you're keeping him safe, butat the same time, it sounds like

(01:01:43):
you and the rest of your family kind of maybe talk about it a
lot and you all know. So it is again unfair to him
that he's the only person that doesn't know when the rest of
you do. Yeah, I got, I got the big, big
ick, big ick, ick. I'm really, really sorry.
I apologize on behalf of all theelders in your family.
That yeah, it's still your fault.
I feel like a lot of this reallyhardcore, intense passion,

(01:02:08):
lecturing and ranting that we'vebeen doing has been directed
towards the caller. First off, thank you so much for
calling Yes. It's not about you.
This is not about you. I'm more pissed at your elders,
your family that has instilled this in you, and of course, of
course the youngest person in the fucking family that listens
to our dumb ass podcast would reach out and go, hey, like my

(01:02:31):
family's fucking psycho. They have all these old, weird
multi traditions and they're like hiding this really simple
thing from someone who's a big prominent part of this family.
Of course the youngest person, because young people are way
fucking smarter. I understand why, obviously I
understand obviously why you wouldn't be the person to tell
your what is he great uncle? Yes, that he doesn't have the

(01:02:54):
same parent as the rest of his siblings.
You're very obviously it's not up to you.
It is not on you at all. We're just talking about the
generations of your family that it does fall on and that should
have said something and your parents situation.
Your parents, your aunts, not even her parents, Her, your
parents, your grandpa. That's what I'm saying.
Just older people in your family, OK?

(01:03:14):
Like, thank you so much for calling.
I was very brave for calling. I know what it's like to be a
younger person in the family calling out the nonsense that's
going on in the older generations.
I feel like we all go through it.
Regardless, we know it's not up to you.
We know it's not your fault. Fuck I.
I hope in some way we are both agnostic, but I hope maybe in

(01:03:36):
some way he finds out. No, I hope you guys tell him
like he deserves to know. Like he's not Jon Snow.
Like, what the fuck? You know what I'm saying?
Like, what are we doing? Like there's no consequence.
To him, yeah, it's not like the medieval times.
He's not going to get like. The.
Longest for being a bastard. That's why, like, longer you
guys wait to tell him that's what's gonna hurt the most.

(01:03:57):
It's already gonna hurt because.We're just the fact that
everybody knows except him. Yeah, y'all should get in a
line. Yeah.
And he sits in a chair. Someone breaks the news to him
and you all take turns going 1 by 1 apologizing.
And. Lying to his face and hugging
him and saying how sorry you areand welcoming him into the
family. Like that's like that's you guys
should literally give him a kindness gauntlet and just have

(01:04:20):
a whole party called. We're a bunch of fucking idiots.
Like that's what the party should be called.
And you invite him, and he's theguest of honor and damn.
Yeah, wild. I know.
We asked for tea and you guys definitely delivered.
Thank you so much. Maybe next time we'll do, but
we'll do a little bit of a nicer.
Maybe next time, like, yeah, we have a lot of subjects.

(01:04:40):
Tell me about all the times thatyou thought you found fairies in
your life. Well, no, that's what like.
What mythical creatures do you believe exist?
Or your favorite piece of lore when it comes to like monsters
or just anything that has to do with like whimsical magical
creatures trivia that you have throw it at us.
The whole next episode will be responding to your guys's voice

(01:05:03):
notes with whatever madness you throw at us.
We'll be talking about Defense Against the Dark Arts, like all
the things that we've experienced in our life and like
what we do to battle that, or how we've coped with it, or like
our personal beliefs. On Yeah, like spirituality.
And the fantastical. Because we also touched a little
bit on that this episode with the girl whose grandma cursed

(01:05:25):
her aunt, yes. Yes.
Yes, so I think that'll be a really fun one.
I'm excited to hear everyone's voicemails.
Until then, we appreciate all ofyou that have called in.
This has been so much fun. I'm sorry that it's kind of
taking over the podcast a littlebit, but I think it's I think
it's good and I think it's really fun for everyone
involved. Yeah, like next week we're we
have shows that we're watching and we want to do breakdowns and

(01:05:47):
we're going to concerts, we're going to go see Sizzaw and
Kendrick and we. Always talk about that.
We have so much to yap about in our personal lives and things
that are coming up that are really, really big that we're
very excited about and the journeys and adventures and
vacations and things that we're going to go on.
But obviously we want to hear from you guys and we love
interacting with you guys, especially in this early

(01:06:08):
incipient phase. I also have a request, yes.
Can everybody comment, if you feel like it, a prompt that you
would like us to do in the future for voicemails, whether
it's a whole dedicated episode or whether it's just at the very
end of an episode, whatever it might be, please, yes.
Tell us a prompt again. We're coachable, we're
approachable, we're all kind of building this Frankenstein

(01:06:30):
monster together. There's things that we're really
enjoying doing that we're incorporating into this and it's
really becoming something beautiful and fun that we like
to do every single week truly and giving to you guys.
And we're so glad that you guys are being entertained from it
from all parts of the world, from Central America to Canada,
everyone calling in, watching from everywhere.

(01:06:51):
It's really, really cool and we and we love to see it.
If you've made it this far, sorry I keep telling you to
comment a million things. If you made it this far, please
comment. French onion soup.
Oh, like the code word? Like pumpernickel?
Yeah. Oh, that's cool.
OK, French. I think last time we did Burana
but this time French onion soup.French onion soup.
I love that. Sounds delicious and I am kind
of hungry right now so we shouldreally run.
No, we really should go. I'm kind of hungry.

(01:07:11):
Too. We love you guys.
Make sure to rate US. Turn on the notifications.
Follow us on everything. We're available anywhere you
listen to podcasts. All of our socials make sure to
rate US 5 out of 510 out of 10. I don't know how the rating
works, but let us know what you like.
Let us know what you don't like.We will see you guys in a week
or so, probably exactly a week. Normally that's.

(01:07:33):
We'll see you next Wednesday. Yeah, Thank you guys so much for
calling in. We love y'all.
And that's it. Make sure to.
Follow us, we're pretty funny.