June 25, 2025 • 61 mins
EVERYONE COMMENT "HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYNNE" RIGHT NOW! This is a VERY special episode because it airs on Brynne's 27th birthday :) We answered some of your voicemails and let's just say....we needed to insert a "cry count" because your messages were so sweet! Thank you to all who called in to wish Brynne a Happy Birthday!
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ABOUT:
Brynne is the most scrumpt-diddly delicious bubblegum booty baddie to ever exist. Mario is a fast talking professional idiot. Together they’re a queen and a clown, “pretty and funny.” Explore the minds and the very real lives of a jester and his ladylove with their insane lore drops, toasty takes, and never ending madness. Laugh, cry, reminisce, learn, and grow with your favorite couple as they dive deep into any and all topics for your entertainment and education. New episodes every Wednesday! Enjoy :)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I have a little bit of a cold
somehow in the summertime and mythroat is very sore.
That's why I'm having this delicious local BlackBerry
honey. We'll put the cold open.
We're doing the cupcake in the present.
OK, we'll do that right now. Oh my.
God can't make fun of me. It's my birthday.
Do you want me to do that? We should have a count for.
(00:23):
How many times God is anything in here flammable?
Me probably with all the Hairspray having.
Oh my God, where are you going to put that in?
My butt. Oh my God.
OK. Good then, now you want me to
hand. It to you this way, Oh my, you
have to sing to me. For our audio listeners, it's
(00:48):
Bryn's birthday podcast, and if you can't tell already, I'm
having a hell of a month. Anyways, she's turning 27 and
look at Oh my God, what? It's like you're 5.
This is crazy. Sing the song.
(01:08):
Anyways, this is a red velvet cupcake for my beautiful,
delicious red velvet girlfriend.Let's all sing happy birthday to
you. What the fuck is my life?
Fucking take this. Keep singing.
For audio listeners, she has taken the cupcake.
(01:29):
She's going to blow it out. Keep singing.
Bryn, we're going to fucking burn this place down.
Blow it out. Blow it out, please.
We have other things to do. Happy birthday, dear Bryn.
You have to make a wish. What?
(01:50):
OK, Oh, it got bigger. I'm going to be really annoying
this episode and I just want to apologize in advance.
I am a self-centered bitch. And I went, yeah, and I went a
little too hard at the pregame for the podcast.
(02:14):
So I'm going to be slowly floating back down to earth in
the early parts of this episode,which is just birthday.
It's a birthday theme party episode.
We're very excited. Our wonderful, amazing, lovely
editor sent me a birthday present to open here with you
guys. We love you, Emma.
(02:34):
And I'm so excited. Yes, she is the most wonderful
editor of all time. Big round of applause for Emma.
Everybody think Emma. We love you Emma.
Of course, after a mandatory 5 happy birthday comments before
wishing anybody else anything ever during Your Majesty's
birthday month. But Emma, do you know to open an
(02:58):
envelope? What?
I just need a little bit. Don't pee.
Can't I get that for you, Princess?
Peach. Peach, you're so cool with my
style. We're gonna rule beach.
Oh, OK, go. Well, first of all, it's pride
(03:19):
month and she gave me a little rainbow temporary tattoos.
Temporary. You're not gay full time.
Yeah. Why don't you get a real
rainbow? Temporary.
That's so cool. Here's a card.
Let's see. I don't think I think she just
wants me to read this. I don't think she wants me to
share it with the class. How long do you think it's going
(03:40):
to take me into this podcast until I cry?
Well, our editor sent us a beautiful card and these lovely
temporary tattoos, and you're already, well, and getting a
little testicles a little bit. Yeah, you're getting a little
misty up top. Oh my God, Emma, wait, wait,
(04:04):
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh my God. What is it?
We have to hang this on the wallbehind you.
Or really, Yeah. Oh my God, what is it?
Oh, I'm so excited. Wait, I'm going to show you
first. Oh.
That's awesome. Oh, I love it.
(04:24):
It's my poop spot. That's super cool.
Oh, that's like our first littlememorabilia.
Oh. So cute Emma, you did so good.
That's. So funny.
Just put it like right up front.Oh my God.
Yeah, we just put it. Can I put it like?
Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious.
Oh, our first little desk ornament, our first little art
from the podcast. Thank you so much, Emma.
(04:47):
Oh my. Gosh, Emma, I love you.
Literally, if I didn't have to like share my heart, like with
my love for Mario, it would be my whole heart.
But like. She's got room.
No, that was so sweet. Can you put the barn?
On the fridge. Yeah, yeah, I'm not like the
fridge monitor. What do you can we put the card
on the fridge, please? Anything for the birthday girl.
(05:12):
Emma, that's so sweet. Make sure it's.
I hope that's my fiance. What the fuck was that?
Oh. No, I need it.
(05:36):
Oh fuck. Oh shit, I'm crying.
Oh my God, what the fuck? I was actually like, there were
cue cards like a teleprompter. I just started talking.
Oh man. Oh God, thank you Emma so much.
(05:58):
Beautiful Emma. Holy fuck.
Roll the intro. Save me.
Wait, we still need some time. Hold on one second.
(06:22):
Welcome to the pretty funny podcast.
I'm Mario. And I do the intro normally.
Fuck. Welcome back to the Pretty Funny
Podcast. I'm Bryn.
And I'm Mario, thanks for havingus.
It's my birthday. What's the topic of discussion?
Oh, what are we talking about today, Bryn?
(06:42):
We need a counter of how many times I'm going to say it's my
birthday. You just did it again.
It's. My birthday.
I did it again. No, everyone's going to turn the
video off or turn. Is that your butt?
(07:03):
So considering the given circumstances of me being born
today, 27 years ago, we. Come on what the fuck my eye is
watering. Oh man, why was that so
(07:24):
difficult? It was like breaking into
Alcatraz. Jesus Christ.
Today's today's topic is birthdays and I can hear how
annoying I'm being. Was that your other bitch I.
Got a notification it's Prince birthday?
(07:45):
We will be answering a lot of voicemails today.
We had a lot of people call in to talk about me and birthdays.
We're excited. We were originally.
Can I say something? Yeah.
Have you seen yourself? Yes.
Is this like an appetizer for, like, gay?
Whoa. Oh, my God.
(08:06):
Right. You look so good.
Thank you. You look really good.
Thank you. Yeah.
I don't know if I spilled my drink or.
OK. No, you look really, really
good. You look great.
Thank you. No, it's like a little, it's
like a teaser trailer, you know what I mean?
A teaser? Sorry, I got distracted.
A teaser trailer for what? For audio listeners, smokes.
(08:28):
The cat is now in frame. He has joined us.
Yeah, I saw you trying to, like,tear that shapewear.
Oh. Yeah, yeah, I had shaper on when
I, like initially got dressed and then I tried to eat a
child's catiac combo. You were eating that shapewear
(08:48):
and let me tell you, I was like,if I die, I want to come back as
your shapewear. That shit didn't want to get
off, you know? No, it did not.
It was just, oh, it was there. And Spider Man 3, you know the
Tobey Maguire 1 when he's tryingto like, RIP the venom off
himself. No, what I'm.
Talking. Maybe actually.
He's got like the black. He's trying to RIP it off, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. The things you've been wearing
(09:10):
today on your birthday day, I feel like it's been my birthday.
You know what I mean? Just you were you were wearing
that undercover bra earlier. It's a bralette.
The bralette. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was victorious. Believe you didn't know?
What a bralette. Was No.
You came down, Ronde. Mama Chichi's swinging in this,
(09:30):
like banana hammock. Yeah.
This thong for your upper body. It was like a banana hammock for
baddies. You know what I mean?
Yeah. And you just.
They're yelling at me right now.Also, as you guys are watching
or as we're filming this, technically it's not my
birthday. It is June 19th.
Yeah, it's not even her birthday.
(09:50):
My birthday's in like 6 days. But.
The episode airs. Fuck when you're watching this.
If you're watching it the day that it airs, it is my birthday.
My birthday is June 25th, if I didn't make that clear in the
last episode. It's just funny because like
your birthday month, it's just like it's six days before your
birthday and we're doing like a full tech rehearsal, like a
(10:12):
whole dress rehearsal. Well, yeah, because obviously,
like, knowing that this episode was going to air on my birthday,
I had to take full advantage of that.
Oh yeah, and you are. And it's fun and we're having a
good time. And I'm I'm excited to hear
these voice messages. I am too.
I don't honestly really have that much to say.
I think we. Can just again write it
Mamacita. No, I'm a mom.
(10:35):
I'm a mommy. Hold on, I need to go to the
bathroom. The way I literally sat here in
silence the entire time, I thinkthat was the quietest speed
break that has ever existed. Was a little more than a pee
break. Sorry.
You guys sent in a bunch of voice messages in honor of
Princess Bubble Gum Booty Batty,and we have no idea what we're
in for. We haven't heard these and we're
(10:55):
very, very excited. So yeah, let's just do it.
I think they're. Going to be good.
I'm excited. Because they're going to be
about me. I hope my therapist doesn't
watch this. Let's get rolling into.
Going to get right into this yeshello friend and Mario I just
(11:15):
wanna say happy birthday brain and I love you so so so much.
Thank you for being the bad bitch that you are.
And thank you for also all the outfit inspiration.
You have made me look like change my look from being a
little tomboy looking crazy 24/7, looking like I went to my
(11:42):
dad's closet to now looking likea badass and just killing it.
Like literally people have been complimenting my outfits at work
now and I'm like, thank you. I literally copied brand like I
bought the same like converse cruisers that you have like I
got George because of you. And so thank you for just always
killing it. And I just want to thank both of
(12:03):
you as well for standing up for the Latino community and going
to these protests and really just standing up for us and like
standing up for our country and our rights and telling Mr.
Annoying Orange to fuck off because you guys are just
(12:25):
amazing. Wait, I love you guys so much.
And Brian, I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful, wonderful
birthday. And yeah, I love you guys.
Breaking that down in order thatyou went.
First of all, I love you. Thank you so much for all the
compliments. That is so heartwarming.
Thank you. Secondly, I do look like I
raided my dad's closet half the time.
(12:46):
I know what. You're saying that I was like
looking down at what I'm wearingand I was like, that's kind of.
Well, yeah, but like even aroundthe house I I'd be wearing just
like sweats and. Wear a lot of my stuff.
Most days I really am in like comfiest clothes ever.
Not right now, but and then alsowe we don't have to dive too
much into it, but I am very happy that we went to the
(13:07):
protest too. It was, we had a great time
there. I'm really happy that we were
right down the street from 1:00.We were just exercising our
First Amendment rights and haven't been a fan of the
annoying orange. Just kind of like a pile of
pumpkin that was left on the porch too long.
Oh yeah, when you get a little rotten.
(13:27):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Like.
I just and like a little moldy little white spots on them.
It's not even that we're being political when we talk and speak
out on certain issues. I truly, truly believe that
because I'm just looking at communities, my neighbors,
family, friends, people that arefellow Americans, yeah, who are
going through terrible, terriblethings.
(13:50):
And like, you don't have to be politically affiliated with
anybody just to notice how terrible things are or how
horrible a situation is. Yeah, you should be able to look
at something and know what's right or wrong based off your
memorials and hopefully you havegood morals.
I mean, that's subjective obviously, but I think in this
case it's pretty apparent what's.
(14:12):
Yeah. Right and wrong.
And people that go, I'm not gonna listen to what the protest
is about because of these littleteeny, tiny incidents that have
happened. Yeah, when there was like 12
million people protesting. Yeah.
You know, I'm saying yeah, peacefully all across the
country. It just, to me, sounds like
willful ignorance. Like choosing to be.
(14:33):
Oh yeah, yeah. Ignorant.
Just stuff to think about. We don't have to go in a whole
political room here, but we support all immigrants coming
into this country seeking a better life.
And that's what that's what America literally was founded
on. Yeah, yeah.
Once Upon a time when we were talking about religion, we said
that neither of us are really religious anymore.
We're both kind of agnostic. And I said that my viewpoint on
everything is that I learned that God is love.
(14:55):
So regardless of whether or not I believe in God, as long as I
act through love, then I'm rightin God's eyes.
And so I try to live my life by acting through love.
And I think that doing this is, it's just that it's like I, I,
yeah, I love other people. I think other people deserve
good things. Coming from the Queen's mouth
(15:16):
herself, yes, she's the Royal Queen.
Queen Brynn Marie O'Donnell fromthe land of Bell and.
There is a queen. Yes.
No kings for real, this queen. Yeah.
And also just thank you again for your kind words with that
and with all of it. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Here comes the next one.
(15:37):
Hey Mario. Hey Bryn.
My new birthday tradition is on the week of my birthday.
I go on to TikTok and I watch Bryn's Color Me Monday, and I
take a screenshot of her color palette that she uses on the
day, and I use those colors to kind of make my own birthday
(15:58):
collage that I do every year. So yeah, happy birthday, Bryn.
Thank you so much for being proud of my birthday tradition.
I love you guys so much. I love you, Bryn.
I love you, Mario. Bye.
I'm going to cry. So cool.
It's so cool. Yeah, it's awesome.
Oh that makes me so happy. Like for our audio listeners,
Bryn is not weeping. She is not smiling ear to ear.
(16:22):
She's yeah, very nonchalant in this moment, receiving this
really overwhelmingly positive news about how our content
effects people in the real worldand has an actual impact in
people. Do you see all the makeup
stains? Yeah, all the tears of makeup
stains. We're going to go watch these.
(16:42):
You notice how mine Nothing? I cry a lot.
That makes me so happy though. Thank you so much.
I can you send them to me please?
That's awesome. I want to see OK next one.
Happy birthday Bryn. I just wanted to know what your
craziest birthday ever was like what was the craziest thing you
ever did on your birthday? Happy birthday.
(17:05):
OK, this isn't something I did, but Michael Jackson died on my
birthday when I was 11 and I got.
Waiter, he's whoa, whoa, whoa. This isn't something I did, but
Michael Jackson did die on my birthday.
And I got Poison Ivy. Well, you did it with Poison
Ivy. Had to take a oatmeal bath.
Wait, what? So you killed Michael Jackson,
(17:28):
you ran through the Poison Ivy and then you had a soaking
oatmeal? No.
Then did you hop in the bed of three bears and a cottage?
I feel like I've had crazier birthdays.
I don't know why in my head I like literally can't remember
any of my birthdays right now. Last year was fun, but it was
like pretty mild. I mean we like it was amazing.
You got me my presents and we wehung out all day.
(17:51):
We went to pop stroke. I'm saying it wasn't like crazy,
like it wasn't like wild, You know what I mean?
Yeah, I was going to say. No, it was an amazing birthday.
Like it was my best birthday yet.
We went to pop stroke with my dad.
I opened all my presents from you.
We went to dinner. I cried a lot.
I always cried on my birthday. Who else out there?
(18:12):
Actually, I feel like this is a thing.
No, I feel like this is a thing.Like people cry on their
birthdays. I know I do.
You're like having a conversation with me.
Like it's like I'm telepathic. Like I'm not even saying
anything back. And you're just like, Oh yeah,
like you could just why do you even need me, honestly, to talk?
But was I like were you? No, why do you even?
(18:37):
Why do women even need men? Honestly Like all we have to do
is kind of sit here and provide a Dick every once in a while.
OK, well, I don't even what? You don't even need that.
OK, well, I don't know why I'm here.
Well, my water bottle needs to get filled somehow.
That's true. Yeah, no.
(18:58):
Do I have any other crazy? That's the only thing that needs
to be filled. Go ahead.
Are you breathing like? That.
OK, Darth Vader. I went to Speaking of well, OK,
we've been watching Love Island.No, that's a such an elongated
story that does not need to be told.
Wait, so you're I was? Going to say one of my birthdays
(19:19):
I was at a TikTok house party and I was hanging out with one
of my mutuals who's best friendswith Sierra.
Oh, from Love Island. And we smoked on a roof.
What are you doing? Here I bought.
It's just really bad, I'm sorry.That's how you itch your eye.
You rub the lid all over your eyeball.
Yeah. I make a bond, I'm not going to
fucking I. Didn't even know that was an
option. Yeah, because I also have like
(19:41):
my fake lashes on so they can. OK chill out.
What the hell? Like window washing your
eyeball. I snuck into a rave one year and
my friends cut their legs open on a fence.
It. Was in George Washington at the
Gorge in George. One time I was having a birthday
(20:04):
party in my backyard. Kids came over and there was a
bunch of tents anywhere around the campfire.
We paintballed all day. Super fun over the time of my
life. And we're sitting around the
fire and we literally have extension cords leading out into
the tents. You know, with like TV's with
the VHS player. It's like Stranger Things,
(20:25):
right? Best birthday ever.
And we can look up from my backyard to the house.
I see the glow with my dad's downstairs walking around and he
comes outside and he walks across the yard and I'm about to
be like, damn, this is like the best day ever.
Thanks dad for letting me do this.
And like oh, I wonder what's about to happen.
And then he said Grandma died. So we've both had people die on
(20:57):
our birthdays. Yeah.
Oh, at least Grandma and. Michael, I think it was my, I
think it was like my 12th birthday.
Mine was my 11th. Are you like a serial murderer
on your birthdays? That was your birthday, that
your grandma died. I.
Thought you killed Michael. Jackson I didn't kill Michael
Jackson. And then my grandma.
(21:17):
I will say I was a little happy about it 'cause I remember
hearing rumors that he liked children and my older brother
used to put up he. It happened one time.
I don't know why I'm acting likethis happened a lot.
He printed out a picture of Michael Jackson because he knew
I was scared of him and taped itto my window.
So when I looked outside, there was just Michael Jackson staring
(21:38):
at me and it scarred me. And then he died on my birthday
and I got Poison Ivy. OK, I'm going to play the next
one. Yeah.
OK. Hi, Brandon.
Mario, happy birthday, Bryn. So excited to celebrate you this
week and watch the podcast on your birthday.
My question would be, what is the best birthday you've ever
had? OK, Love you.
(22:00):
Bye. Last year I kind of just, yeah,
I kind of just answered this in the last one.
Last year was my best birthday Ithink I've ever had.
Ever. Yeah.
With me. Yeah, you made it a really good
birthday. Whoa, me saying that even though
there was like a couple downsides to it, if you remember
correctly, such as us dying in the Las Vegas heat.
(22:23):
Outside. Oh my God, Yeah, we are in Las
Vegas. He took me to pop stroke.
I love golf. We.
Love, it's a we. I took her to a Putt putt golf
course. Yeah, in Las Vegas in June.
It was a record-breaking summer for heat and I think it was like
110. I don't even know more.
Than that, I think it was more like a. 100 Yeah.
So we lasted like two holes on the Papa Golf Course.
(22:44):
In the end, turn in and I would.My God, so just get the shit out
of me. And then I also remember.
Don't drink the pina colada. Do you know what I think I
realized? Because so the other part of why
there was like a little bit of anegative when you took me to
dinner, I was wearing this dress, but I was in.
I thought it looked familiar. Yeah, Did you?
Wash it. No, actually you should never
(23:06):
wash it. Every year you break it out and
you never wash it. We had had a couple of, we had
had a couple of drinks throughout the day though.
So by the time we got to dinner,and I don't think I realized
this until we until literally like recently, I think it was
because the alcohol was wearing off.
And so that's why I like had no appetite.
(23:28):
I was not in the mood to eat andI felt really bad because you
would research the place. It was a really nice restaurant.
Research is a really strong word.
I typed in nice restaurants whatit was.
It was Bobby Flay's. Yeah, it would be a mafi.
Yeah, it was like a French. I got gnocchi because you wanted
to make sure that they had, like, clams.
Yeah, because you wanted to make.
(23:49):
Sure, They had my favorite food.You liked a lot of shellfish.
You did research. Well, like, I just know things
about you. Yeah.
I like when a guy does anything above the bare minimum.
It's like, look what this guy did.
He knew what I like to eat and he made a reservation.
You also killed it on the presents last year.
Yeah, yeah. I know it's like if I have good
(24:10):
penmanship or I wrap a present good or I like care about my
girlfriend, there's nothing gayer than that.
Like I don't know. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that
during pride month. I think the only one that could
top that is probably like being born.
That was a pretty good birthday,I don't really remember it.
(24:33):
But Oh my God, brain, what the fuck are you becoming me?
Are you laughing like me? Now stop ruining the curtain.
Oh my God, we only have two curtains.
(24:57):
No drool on it. I feel like that curtain is
gonna be Brin coloured in like 10 years.
It's just gonna be Brin's. A mosaic.
A Brin's face. My hair already like blends into
it as soon as it's just gonna bemy face colour.
Probably sell that curtain for alot of money.
Probably some. Weirdo in Mississippi gonna like
wring it out on his hold on. Think it was second, right?
(25:21):
Yeah. Some weirdo in Oklahoma is gonna
like wring that out on his boyfriend, you know?
You know what I mean? Like the curtain.
Don't put more into it for our audio listeners.
Every time Brandon gets emotional, cries, leaks out of
any orifice, she wipes it on thecurtain behind her.
(25:44):
I also. Have a washcloth down here but I
think it had cat hair on it and that's why my eye is like
freaking out right now. You look like Cinderella, but
instead of turning back into a peasant.
My eyes are so red. You look like Cinderella, but
then she turned back into like alike a hoe are.
(26:06):
You calling me a hoe? Don't trust a hoe.
Never trust a hoe. What are you doing to the
curtain? Wiping my tails.
OK. You look so good.
Thank you. Maybe I should take a Plan B,
You know, just in case. All right, here we go.
(26:27):
Hey, Bren. Hey, Mario, it's Ashley.
Just want to say that I love your guys's podcast.
Guys are doing great. Also.
Happy birthday, Bren. My question for you is, do you
ever get the birthday Blues? And if so, how do you deal with
them? I cry on my birthday every year.
Why? Because it's a, it's a very like
(26:48):
reflective time for me. And it's obviously like another
year has passed and I'm getting older and I just think back on
like where I literally, it's like a lot of reflection and a
lot of realization. It's been a long day without
you, my friend. And I'll tell you, I feel like
(27:09):
the montage in your brain is like playing of like a young
Bryn running on a beach, You know what I mean?
Like that's what I'm like imagining when you're saying
this kind of, you know what I mean?
Like I will remember you do. You not like feel depth of like.
Feel depth. Do you not feel you're dressed
(27:40):
like American? No.
But no. But actually, do you never like
get like reflective and like sentimental for your birthday?
For my birthday. Yeah.
Not really. At all like you never think
(28:01):
I've. Ever heard of this dude?
It's like your emotions are wearing on me.
Are you ready? I want to.
Just my throat. I'm so sorry.
I just roared with the voice of 1000.
Lions actually maybe a million degrees in here.
Yeah, what did we have the temperature set?
So hot. I mean, what does the studio
have the temperature set to in here?
(28:21):
Do you want me to go check the thermostat?
Yeah. If you don't mind.
Jerry Yeah. Can we go check the thermostat?
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
OK, ready. OK.
Hi Mario and Bryn, it's Crystal from tri-cities, Washington.
I just wanted to say happy birthday, Bryn, and I wanted to
(28:43):
see, I turned 40 in August and Iwanted to see if you have any
ideas for like a self birthday present.
If you could either share something that you have done for
yourself in the past or maybe that you have planned this year
for your birthday, whether it was like a concert or a tattoo
or an extra special set of nailsor something.
But I need some ideas on something to do for myself this
year because 40 is a big one andI'm probably celebrating mostly
(29:06):
alone. So anyway, love what you guys do
Happy birthday, Brynn. Happy birthday to you as well.
Early birthday. An extra set of nails.
Nails, got it. My biggest recommendation that I
could give you what my best recommendation that I could give
you is what I got myself as a present last year and that was a
(29:28):
Dyson. If that's something that you
want, obviously. But whether it's a blow dryer or
like with the one with all the attachments and stuff, I use
that thing everyday and I love it deeply, deeply.
It was a great investment. I'm trying to think of other
things. Like things that you've gotten
for yourself over the years. A new makeup routine would be a
really fun one again, if you're into that, or like a shopping
(29:49):
spree for yourself, like actually go in person and just
shop around and. How many looks like makeup wise
do you think you've had since like you entered adulthood?
You know what I mean? Like since you left home, like
how many different like looks like makeup routines have you
had? Like can I guess?
I don't even know are we going like my adulthood?
(30:12):
So like 18 up. Yeah, so like more than 5.
Nine years? Yeah.
More than five. Yeah, Mario, I changed mine.
Like weekly, if not like every time.
Routines. Yeah, now that I have, like, I
literally have a Sephora at home.
Yeah. And I mean, think about it.
(30:32):
When I do my makeup, it's different almost every time.
Yeah, but I meant like specific type of looks.
Is that like a different look every?
Time like I do my little freckles and like I'll do no
wing, I'll do like no lashes I'll do think about it.
I'm thinking, OK, yeah, I didn'tknow that was like counted as
like a different look every single time, no matter what
little. Well, I said the what what I was
(30:54):
suggesting to her was like a newmakeup routine, like all new
products, things that you haven't tried before, like like
a whole new routine or like replenish your routine or get
like the better version of your foundation or whatever it might
be. Oh, lingerie sets.
Also to or like really nice pajamas.
Really nice silk pajamas. I keep like looking at what
(31:16):
you're wearing like right now for your little birthday thing,
you know what I mean? And I feel like I got a present
that make sense. Like I feel like.
You want me to put a bow on later?
What? OK.
I was trying to think of like, what else would be good gift
site gift ideas for yourself? Oh like new sheets or new
(31:36):
bedding? Love new candles.
I'm just like listing things that I like.
Oh. A new piece of furniture.
Yeah, what that's. A good one.
It sounds like you're just goingto the store.
Like I feel like when guys get presents or maybe this is just
me. Keep it, keep it in, please, I
(32:05):
beg you, please. Emma, I'll give you $1,000,000.
I will start a GoFundMe. Emma, the editor, our wonderful,
amazing editor. I will get you $1,000,000.
I don't care what it takes. I don't care what she says.
I know it's her birthday episode.
Keep the farts in the episode, please.
I'll get you a million. We'll raise it.
(32:27):
I could give it to so many different things that can help
out so many different things. Oh my God, please keep it.
Please keep that in. There's your birthday present
for turning 40. Breathe, Oh my God.
Or you to wipe your ass on the curtain next.
(32:49):
For our audio listeners, Britain's transferred about half
of her face to the curtain. Bad.
Wow, it's OK. Oh my God, please keep that fart
in. It's so my makeup's so bad.
Now, no, I think those were great suggestions for for gifts.
I I feel like for dudes, it's like we get something that we
(33:13):
don't need. You know what I mean?
Like I feel like you just described so many things that
like a lot of people already have.
Well, it's not necessarily things that like you need.
I feel like I was describing things that like you might
already have, like you were justsaying, but.
Like it sounds like you're up onit sounds like the things that
you were listing were like upgrades to things you already
(33:35):
have. Like you just said, like to
improve. Upon Oh my God, my makeup is so
messed up. It's fine, we're just rolling
with it. A good one.
Please don't leave. Please keep watching and
listening. No, I like literally want to
take all my makeup off now anyway.
You. Should we could?
Why not? Go grab my makeup wipes you.
Want to just like, wipe it off live on the podcast?
Do you want to go get them for me?
(33:57):
Yeah, go get them. No, I don't know why I decided
like I'm definitely going to go get.
Them OK, Should I just wait? Should we pause again really
quick and I can like change it? Up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK. What if we did that?
Yeah. OK.
OK. Hold on.
Can we do like real quick? Real quick do like a the
craziest real quick Emma just put the craziest, weirdest real
(34:19):
quick puck Emma just put like a weird cheesy transition yeah,
wait one second and. We're back.
We just went showered, put on our little lotions and colognas
and perfumes. I smell like Batty bait over
here. Take a little whiff, but take a
(34:41):
hit. All that.
Teach what? Oh yeah, actually.
That little tea tree oil, you know, I feel so good.
I feel refreshed. Oh my God.
I also feel a lot better. My eyes are really red because I
got a little soap in them. I feel like I just ate a
Gatorade's ass, you know what I mean?
I feel like super. You know what I mean?
(35:03):
Yeah. For sure I.
Just feel good. Yeah, I feel a lot better.
I got the air is on 60. 8 Now, yeah, it's it's blowing.
I can feel it. The vibe for our audio listeners
went from like party madness, mayhem, brain rot to now like
relax, sleepover, cool, sleepover, Oh, listen to my
(35:23):
voice. Oh, isn't it?
Is it doing something for you? It's like deep, deep voice.
Anything. No.
This ain't doing nothing for you.
You want me to take a big old bite out of this cupcake?
If you want to do you want. That's not doing nothing for
(35:44):
you. Not you want to.
No. Not really.
Do you want to listen to the next one?
Yeah, I just can't believe your clothes are still on after it's
it's whatever. It's no big deal.
Fine. OK.
Play the next one. Hey, Bryn.
Hey Mario, happy birthday, my name is Tia.
(36:04):
I've been following for a while and I absolutely love your
makeup looks. Bryn, my wife and I are also
loving the podcast. Y'all's relationship dynamic
feels so relatable to us and we always watch the episodes
together. My question for you and both of
you can answer this is what's one thing that you hope to
(36:24):
accomplish before your next birthday, either professional or
personal? OK, bye, I think.
That was Tia Tamara. No, I think that professionally
my by my next birthday I for sure want to be at a million on
Instagram and I would love to have maybe a tour.
(36:49):
In the world like a live podcast.
Going yeah, yeah, I would also like to start screaming.
We've been talking a lot about that.
Oh yeah. And then personally, I mean, I'm
not going to tell you what I like, wish for on my birthday
cupcake. What?
What? Got that at Walmart.
It's. Also not my birthday.
(37:09):
You think it's like a Tiffany cupcake on six days before your
birthday? No, no.
No, but actually, well. He didn't propose on my birthday
podcast. No, personally, I think I just
want to be in maybe a better place mentally than I am
currently. And I not that I'm in like a bad
place mentally, that sounds really bad.
I just mean, I feel like there'salways room for improvement and
(37:31):
I always want to be like the best version of myself.
So I hope that there's like a lot of growth there.
What else? Personally, I would like to be a
little more fit perhaps. Perhaps I'd like to get a little
more fence. Would I?
Do you want me to answer anything?
It's my birthday. Yes, I do want you to answer.
I don't know, I just want this podcast to be as successful as
(37:52):
possible in live tour would be super cool.
And it's not that I want to growthis podcast like exponentially
or like, oh, everyone come, you know, follow and subscribe and
listen to whatever. Like I want this podcast to
reach as many people as we can that like to consume this sort
of content. You know what I mean?
I wanted to grow like naturally,organically, while still, you
(38:14):
know, I don't know. Personal and.
Yeah, and I, and I, I don't get me wrong, I want, you know, a
lot of people to tune in, but I,I, I want to do it the right
way. And like, you know, everyone
that's here so far, this little weird, pretty funny community
that we're building, I'm having a blast and everyone calling in
and stuff and it makes really happy.
(38:35):
I feel like this podcast is already really special and I
just want to keep growing it andthat's like a big one for me.
I'd like to do more stand up. I'd like to go to film school.
I've been writing a lot and I don't know, I have a lot of, you
know, all my long term goals. What do you want?
Personally. Personally, I don't know, trying
(38:55):
to lock some things down, you know, not to put any time on it.
But if you like it, then you should put like, you know, a
time frame on it. I know that's the thing.
So by the next birthday, I don'tknow who knows?
You know, I there's a lot of really big personal endeavors
that I am circumnavigating at the momento personally, I just
(39:20):
want to be the best me that I could possibly be.
And our relationship means more to me than anything.
So continuing to cultivate what we have and connect more and
communicate more with my friendsand family.
And what the fuck why are you crying?
(39:44):
Oh my God what? Why this just?
Makes me really happy. I know it does me too but like
it's it's so confusing. Too.
It's confusing to me because like, you get really happy and
you look more sad than you've ever been.
You look like Huda, you know what I mean?
Like it's like. You look like a Victorian
(40:08):
painting of like your husband just died.
Look at you. Oh, my God.
Why? I don't know.
I feel like you're Queen Delulu.Like I don't know what the.
Oh, my God, that poor curtain. Brynn just decided that you did
you just blow your nose into thecurtain.
I. Sniffled.
(40:28):
Sorry I told you I always cry onmy birthday.
It's not your birthday. Well, it's your birthday for
everyone listening, so yeah. I can assure you, wherever we
are, wherever we are, in six days, on my actual birthday,
I'll be crying. I believe it.
Yep. Oh my God.
Yeah. Anyways, personally, I want to
(40:49):
be the best me that I can possibly be.
I don't know. I just want to grow to my full
potential. Grow this to our full potential.
We did the math and across all of our platforms as it stands,
both of us combined, 14 million people following, subscribing
across all platforms, pretty crazy to think about.
So we really appreciate everyoneout there.
(41:11):
It's a matter of just getting everybody to the same place at
the same time for the party. And I feel like this podcast is
the party so. Yeah, it's just onward and
upward. Exactly.
Always. Great questions, love it.
We love you also. I'm going.
To get a little water. Hold on.
All right, here we go. Happy birthday Brian, I'm
(41:33):
wishing you all the best. I just want to say that you've
done more for bisexual women than you could ever know,
because as a bisexual girl who'sdating a man, I often question
if I still like women after all this time.
All I have to do is open your Instagram.
Yep, I still like women. Thank you for your service and
happy birthday. Thank you for your service.
That's what I say for real though, because you serve.
(41:56):
Thank you for your service. Damn I fucking love that.
See that's always confusing to me.
What do you my God? That's welcome, though.
Showing your shoulders a gatewaydrug to selling bathwater and
soap. Hear me, hear me.
I would buy my bathwater. SOAP 100%.
(42:17):
Yeah, I'd be first in line. Yeah.
Yeah, no one else's, though, if they.
Oh. No, I thought you meant no one
else would buy mine. I was like, that's a little
rude. I.
Think no. There would actually be like a
line out the door. Damn, yeah, if you thought I
sold out my jewelry, damn. Well, if we ever need some
money. Well, if we ever need money,
(42:44):
I'll go take a bath tomorrow. You scoop all that dirty bad
water, dump it in with some lie and make yourself some soap.
Sell it to the fans. Did you know that lie is really
dangerous? Like making soap is actually
like, really dangerous. We watched Fight Club together,
do you not remember? He's like this and they dumped a
lie on his hand. Oh yeah.
(43:05):
Yeah. That's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot that that. Yeah, what was the question?
Oh, just that I keep her intact with her bisexuality.
Oh yeah. OK, we're playing the next one.
Yeah. Hi Ben and Mario, I love
listening to the podcast. It makes my drive to work even
better than bearable. I have a quick little story for
(43:25):
you guys. In high school, there was
another girl with the same last name as me and our birthdays are
five days apart. We convinced A concerning amount
of people that we were twins andthat our mum was in labour for
five days. It took some time, but after
(43:45):
months of openly bickering aboutwho our mum liked better and who
was the favorite, I'm confident that we convinced way too many
people. We don't talk at all anymore,
but every year we send a little happy birthday twin message.
(44:05):
Hope you guys have the best day.I love you guys so much.
Happy birthday, Bryn. Thank you.
That's so cool. There's so many things I love
about that. Yeah.
Like the fact that she's from Australia calling in and like
listening to us on our drive to work.
Oh my God, that is so amazing. Thank you so much.
And then and then what? Hopefully Australia.
(44:28):
I think she was Australia. Pretty sure, yeah.
I have almost like a little anecdote to match on to that.
Not literally the same at all. My best friend throughout
elementary school, she was born the day before me, I think like
8 hours before me and she stole my hospital room.
My grandma worked at the hospital.
She had set aside like one of the nice newer rooms.
(44:50):
But then she my friend got she birthed before me and so they
had to put me in an old room andthen.
Yep, I have nothing to relate. That's a funny little anecdote.
I like it. We're a bestie.
Labor for five days? Is that even possible?
(45:11):
Maybe. How long does labor last?
Like what's like the longest someone's ever?
What? What do you think?
Can't be more than like a day. What?
Wait, what's it say? 75 days.
No. The longest recorded labor
lasted 75 days, from August 13thto November 6th, 1982.
(45:35):
This occurred in Warsaw, Poland,when a woman gave birth to
twins. What?
In general, the average length of Labor is 12 to 24 hours for
first time mothers and 8 to 8 to10 for.
After that so it is possible. 75days.
Stuck in there with. A roommate?
(45:56):
Three months. I don't even know if that works.
Wouldn't you just like cut them out at a certain point?
Yeah, like AC section, well, this was an 83 or 82, so.
I don't know. Did they do cesarean sections?
Why did I use its full? Government name?
Yeah. Is that what its name is?
Yeah. Oh my God, that's like.
Cesarean, right? Do you know why it's called bar?
(46:19):
The bar exam. You really don't know what.
What bar? Oh, like is this when you find
out that bar stands for beverageand alcohol room?
Did you ever know that? Really.
Yeah, I want to double track are.
You shitting? On Yeah, you didn't know that.
It's so fun. Like Cesarean is that like the
name of the person that, like, invented the C-section?
(46:41):
I feel like if you're in there for 75 days, you should come out
with like, a job. You should come out already
knowing how to say a few words, maybe knowing how to read, you
know what I mean? That's like a long fucking time
to be in there. Self-inflicted cesarean.
OK. No thank you.
Hold on, hold on. The term bar in context of
(47:03):
alcohol does not stand for an Acura.
Oh fuck you. Originally acting as a physical
barrier between the customers and the person serving drinks.
The word bar itself comes from the barrier.
The bar that was actually at thebar.
That's so cool. Who told me that?
(47:25):
I saw that on a fucking TikTok and I was like oh.
Nice one. Yeah.
Hey, Hi. I really just wanted to say
happy birthday and thank you forliterally everything that you
do. Even if you have days where you
feel like you may not have an effect or you don't do anything,
(47:50):
you single handedly have improved my bra game and you
have just been such an inspiration and somebody who
helps me feel comfortable to be me and I'm really, really happy
that you're here. Look what you did for our audio
(48:17):
listeners. Brian is Ryan.
It's OK. Over under How many times do you
think you've wiped your face on the curtain?
5 Over under How many times do you think you've cried?
5. Over under how many times do you
think you've said it's your birthday?
20. 20. Yeah.
(48:38):
And price is right. These are the real answers.
How close was she? There we go.
That was really sweet. That was beautiful.
That was really nice. That was that was amazing.
I was so really. Happy.
Oh, it's your birthday. Happy birthday my.
Hairy legs. Gosh, you're like Sonic the
Hedgehog. Happy birthday Bryn.
Crazy. We're actually birthday twins.
(48:59):
June 25th is the best birthday and in my totally unbiased
opinion, and it's because it's six months to Christmas, so our
half birthday being Christmas isjust like lovely.
Anyway, happy birthday and I have always said that.
I have literally always said that no, it is the actual it is
the best birthday you can possibly have.
And when I was little, I used totell everyone in elementary
(49:21):
school that I would get presentson my half birthday and everyone
just thought I was a spoiled brat, but it was because my half
birthday is Christmas. It's a pretty cool birthday,
honestly. It's a really cool birthday.
Six month split is very well planned.
Your parents. My mom cooked with that one.
She really did. And your.
Dad, she literally like cooked. And your dad provided the
batter. OK.
(49:44):
Bubble gum booty Batty batter. Sorry.
I'm sending that to my dad, OK? Why would you just please don't
send that clip to your dad? He says he listens to this.
Oh my God. We have.
Yeah, we have two more. OK, in Denmark, when you turn 25
(50:06):
years old, your friends will come and kidnap you and tie you
to a pole, and then they will throw cinnamon all over you.
I don't know why this is a tradition, but it itches as fuck
in the ass. But when you turn 30 they will
do the same thing, just with pepper.
Did that just happen? They're like, was that real?
Was that real Again? Again.
(50:30):
In Denmark when you turn 25 years old your friends will come
and kidnap you and tie you to a pole and then they will throw
cinnamon all over you. I don't know why this is a
tradition but it itches as fuck in the ass.
But when you turn 30 they will do the same thing, just with
pepper. Stop everything What?
(50:52):
The fuck? It's like the cinnamon
challenge. Denmark sounds fucking lit.
Yeah, that sounds actually. What in the God damn Hunger
Games is going on? Yeah, with the fucking.
Oh my God. In Denmark, a quirky tradition
dictates that if someone turns 25 and is still unmarried, they
are playfully covered in cinnamon by friends and family.
(51:14):
Playfully covered. I don't think if my brother, my
sister, my anybody was 25 and unmarried I would be hurling
frozen cinnamon balls that I've been marinating and dog shit for
two years. Are you kidding?
Me. No, this is not giant cinnamon
shakers. Just go into town.
(51:35):
Oh my God, there's videos of people being strapped at chairs
with duct tape and being cinnamoned.
What's going on in Denmark? Oh my God.
And then it's Pepper when you're30.
Yeah, what? You're getting held down and
they're like, it itches in the ass.
There's a pepper shaker like youbetter get married next year.
(51:56):
Oh my God, that was the greatestgift of the whole podcast.
Right there, that was amazing. Is that, oh, that was, it's a
real tradition. Yeah, that's crazy.
I love that. I wish.
I was dumbfounded. Call in every week and tell us
something new about Denmark. Yeah, never introduce yourself.
(52:16):
Never tell. Us if you do it just like that.
In Denmark, you please. We'll have a whole podcast
dedicated to. It's in Denmark.
In Denmark. Oh, my God, That was amazing.
Thank you so much. That's great to know.
Maybe we should start that in America.
Yeah, who knows. If you guys know anybody 25
(52:37):
years old and unmarried, maybe try it out The.
Cinnamon Challenge. Cinnamon Challenge.
Bring it back. Let's.
I mean, we brought. My voice is gone.
Oh my God. OK.
Last one and it has it's titled Bryn B-day Reel so I don't know
if this is special. Let's do it.
(52:59):
OK, happy birthday Bryn. Happy birthday Bryn.
Happy birthday Bryn. Happiest of happy birthdays
Bryn. Happy birthday Bryn.
I hope you have a very great andspecial day and I hope that
everyone around you makes you feel so loved and so important
because you are. Happy birthday Bryn.
I love you bitch. I ain't gonna never stop loving
(53:19):
you bitch. Happy birthday Bryn.
I love you so much and I love your content.
I hope your day is filled with nothing but positive vibes to
the baddest bubble gum booty Batty on the Internet Happy,
happy birthday, Happy birthday Bryn.
Happy birthday Bryn. Happy birthday Bryn.
I hope you have a great birthday.
Happy birthday Bryn, and thank you for bringing so much joy to
(53:41):
all of us. It's the pride of America.
Happy birthday girl, because youare our pride of America.
Happy birthday Bryn, you are so thoughtful and kind and
beautiful and deserving of all the love in the world.
Happy birthday Bryn, you are so inspiring.
You are so beautiful. I love seeing your videos every
day. Happy birthday girl, you deserve
(54:02):
everything amazing. Happy birthday gorgeous.
Happy birthday Bryn, wishing youmany more years of love,
happiness, beauty and friendship.
Happy birthday, you are so beautiful and amazing and I hope
you have an awesome day. Happy birthday happy birthday
beautiful human being. Just want to say happy birthday
(54:24):
to Bryn. We share a birthday Happy
freaking birthday You are so well loved you and Mario in our
household and we just hope that you have the best day ever.
Happy birthday Bryn I really love your videos and I really
love color me Monday. I wanted to wish a happy
birthday to a fellow big titty committee girly.
(54:44):
Hi Bryn, happy birthday. I just want to say I love your
content. I wanted to wish you the best
birthday ever. Happy birthday to Bryn, hope you
have the best day ever. I just wanted to stop by and say
happy birthday and that you get everything that you want in life
because you certainly deserve it.
Happy birthday Bryn, absolute queen to talk icon.
Happy birthday, I hope you have the best time of your life.
(55:05):
Happy birthday to the most beautiful, gorgeous, humble,
amazing influencer I've ever seen.
Happy birthday Bryn Happy birthday I hope you have the
best day ever and thank you for being my comfort creator.
Happy birthday Bryn just wanted to say happy birthday hope you
have the most amazing day and you get super spoiled.
(55:28):
Happy birthday birthday. Happy birthday Ben I love one
for my birthday is a big booty house.
I love you, love you, love you and I'm so happy for you.
It's your season live it up babygirl.
Happy birthday Bryn, we all knowMara is going to spoil the hell
out of you. Massive Happy birthday to Bryn.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
(55:50):
I hope you have the best birthday week of your life
pretty girl. Happy birthday to the most Trump
diddly delicious bubble gum booty Batty to ever exist.
Very happy birthday to you, Bryn.
Super fan over here, love you all and I hope that you have an
amazing amazing day. Bryn.
Happy birthday bring you in my gay awakening.
(56:13):
Oh my God, that was beautiful. That was like that was insane.
Oh, that was beautiful. I.
Think you guys broke me. That was that was insane.
I'm trying not to cry so hard right now.
That was beautiful. The little kids sprinkled
throughout was cruel and unusualpunishment.
(56:34):
There is multiple times just themost adorable voice I've ever
heard ever. Oh my God.
Oh that was beautiful. That was so pretty.
Oh my God, that was wonderful. I'm so happy I took my makeup.
Oh my God, you look like a melting candle.
(56:57):
I'm so glad you took your makeupon.
Your beautiful and I'm so glad so many people see that and tell
you that. And that was I'm I don't even
know. We appreciate you guys so much.
This podcast and all you guys watching and listening are so
beyond special to us. I think, I don't know, this
(57:18):
speaks for itself. I know you're struggling to find
the words right now, but I thinkit's pretty apparent how you
feel in my birthday present to you.
I wish I would have ordered. It was just the Costco size box
of Kirkland Signature tissues. So we don't think it's a curtain
anymore in dirty dish towels andoh man.
(57:38):
I love you all so much. That was literally the most
meaningful thing. I'm going to just play that to
myself every night. That's so cool, go to sleep.
It was really cool. That was really cool.
It was really cool. Oh man, yeah.
For audio listener if if it. For audio listeners, if if you
want to play it back, watch the video.
(58:00):
Brynn slowly melts through like a ice cream cone on a hot July
day. Las Vegas Blvd.
That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
Like honestly, that was Oh my God that.
Was really cool. So many people.
I, I mean guys, oh, what the fuck there's I mean, she's
(58:22):
already spoiled. I mean, it's just a bonus at
this point. I am going to spoil the hell out
of her, but that's going to be atough one to top.
Oh my God, that was so beautiful.
I love that so much. That was the nicest thing, and
Emma, thank you so much for putting that together.
It was beautiful. It was really cool.
Sorry, I'm literally. I know, I know.
I am a wreck. I'm like, I'm going to start
(58:45):
great. It's.
Like, oh God, it's over. I was like, that room was so
annoying. I'm going to be like on the
verge of falling asleep. It's like going to be 1:00 AM.
I'm just going to close my eyes.I'm going to hear happy
birthday, Bryn. Happy.
Birthday, Bryn. Happy birthday.
(59:05):
It's 1:30 right now. Happy birthday, Bryn.
I'm going to play that for myself every single year until I
die. In a couple.
I know. I'm so sorry.
OK, You guys broke my girlfriendon her birthday podcast.
No, this is the most beautiful thing ever.
(59:27):
What do I do? Help.
Oh, it's OK. It was beautiful.
I know. It was really beautiful.
I'm sorry. It was a little over the tower.
No, it's OK. All right.
It was just really meaningful. I think I speak for both of us.
(59:50):
Is it? Yeah.
I believe it. Yeah.
I think this might be a good spot to end it.
You guys made this so special. Thank you guys so much for all
the calls today while you're listening to.
This really is Britain's birthday.
So feel free to reach out, let her know, tell her happy
(01:00:10):
birthday. And I'm so proud of you.
I love you. I'm so glad I'm here to
celebrate with you. And this is so special.
And thank you, guys so much for making this special.
Thank you, guys so much for tuning in.
Make sure to follow us on all ofour socials.
I don't, I don't know what to say.
Thank you guys. Seriously.
About us. Yeah, you know if.
(01:00:30):
You're one of my birthday twins.I know there was a couple thrown
in there, so happy birthday to you too.
Happy birthday. If it's your birthday month,
your birthday week, it's your birthday today.
Happy birthday. What a beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful podcast episode.
Oh, this? Was great so.
Happy. Thank you guys so much.
All right, that's it. Make sure to follow us.
You're pretty funny.
Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I have a little bit of a cold
somehow in the summertime and mythroat is very sore.
That's why I'm having this delicious local BlackBerry
honey. We'll put the cold open.
We're doing the cupcake in the present.
OK, we'll do that right now. Oh my.
God can't make fun of me. It's my birthday.
Do you want me to do that? We should have a count for.
(00:23):
How many times God is anything in here flammable?
Me probably with all the Hairspray having.
Oh my God, where are you going to put that in?
My butt. Oh my God.
OK. Good then, now you want me to
hand. It to you this way, Oh my, you
have to sing to me. For our audio listeners, it's
(00:48):
Bryn's birthday podcast, and if you can't tell already, I'm
having a hell of a month. Anyways, she's turning 27 and
look at Oh my God, what? It's like you're 5.
This is crazy. Sing the song.
(01:08):
Anyways, this is a red velvet cupcake for my beautiful,
delicious red velvet girlfriend.Let's all sing happy birthday to
you. What the fuck is my life?
Fucking take this. Keep singing.
For audio listeners, she has taken the cupcake.
(01:29):
She's going to blow it out. Keep singing.
Bryn, we're going to fucking burn this place down.
Blow it out. Blow it out, please.
We have other things to do. Happy birthday, dear Bryn.
You have to make a wish. What?
(01:50):
OK, Oh, it got bigger. I'm going to be really annoying
this episode and I just want to apologize in advance.
I am a self-centered bitch. And I went, yeah, and I went a
little too hard at the pregame for the podcast.
(02:14):
So I'm going to be slowly floating back down to earth in
the early parts of this episode,which is just birthday.
It's a birthday theme party episode.
We're very excited. Our wonderful, amazing, lovely
editor sent me a birthday present to open here with you
guys. We love you, Emma.
(02:34):
And I'm so excited. Yes, she is the most wonderful
editor of all time. Big round of applause for Emma.
Everybody think Emma. We love you Emma.
Of course, after a mandatory 5 happy birthday comments before
wishing anybody else anything ever during Your Majesty's
birthday month. But Emma, do you know to open an
(02:58):
envelope? What?
I just need a little bit. Don't pee.
Can't I get that for you, Princess?
Peach. Peach, you're so cool with my
style. We're gonna rule beach.
Oh, OK, go. Well, first of all, it's pride
(03:19):
month and she gave me a little rainbow temporary tattoos.
Temporary. You're not gay full time.
Yeah. Why don't you get a real
rainbow? Temporary.
That's so cool. Here's a card.
Let's see. I don't think I think she just
wants me to read this. I don't think she wants me to
share it with the class. How long do you think it's going
(03:40):
to take me into this podcast until I cry?
Well, our editor sent us a beautiful card and these lovely
temporary tattoos, and you're already, well, and getting a
little testicles a little bit. Yeah, you're getting a little
misty up top. Oh my God, Emma, wait, wait,
(04:04):
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh my God. What is it?
We have to hang this on the wallbehind you.
Or really, Yeah. Oh my God, what is it?
Oh, I'm so excited. Wait, I'm going to show you
first. Oh.
That's awesome. Oh, I love it.
(04:24):
It's my poop spot. That's super cool.
Oh, that's like our first littlememorabilia.
Oh. So cute Emma, you did so good.
That's. So funny.
Just put it like right up front.Oh my God.
Yeah, we just put it. Can I put it like?
Yeah. Oh, that's hilarious.
Oh, our first little desk ornament, our first little art
from the podcast. Thank you so much, Emma.
(04:47):
Oh my. Gosh, Emma, I love you.
Literally, if I didn't have to like share my heart, like with
my love for Mario, it would be my whole heart.
But like. She's got room.
No, that was so sweet. Can you put the barn?
On the fridge. Yeah, yeah, I'm not like the
fridge monitor. What do you can we put the card
on the fridge, please? Anything for the birthday girl.
(05:12):
Emma, that's so sweet. Make sure it's.
I hope that's my fiance. What the fuck was that?
Oh. No, I need it.
(05:36):
Oh fuck. Oh shit, I'm crying.
Oh my God, what the fuck? I was actually like, there were
cue cards like a teleprompter. I just started talking.
Oh man. Oh God, thank you Emma so much.
(05:58):
Beautiful Emma. Holy fuck.
Roll the intro. Save me.
Wait, we still need some time. Hold on one second.
(06:22):
Welcome to the pretty funny podcast.
I'm Mario. And I do the intro normally.
Fuck. Welcome back to the Pretty Funny
Podcast. I'm Bryn.
And I'm Mario, thanks for havingus.
It's my birthday. What's the topic of discussion?
Oh, what are we talking about today, Bryn?
(06:42):
We need a counter of how many times I'm going to say it's my
birthday. You just did it again.
It's. My birthday.
I did it again. No, everyone's going to turn the
video off or turn. Is that your butt?
(07:03):
So considering the given circumstances of me being born
today, 27 years ago, we. Come on what the fuck my eye is
watering. Oh man, why was that so
(07:24):
difficult? It was like breaking into
Alcatraz. Jesus Christ.
Today's today's topic is birthdays and I can hear how
annoying I'm being. Was that your other bitch I.
Got a notification it's Prince birthday?
(07:45):
We will be answering a lot of voicemails today.
We had a lot of people call in to talk about me and birthdays.
We're excited. We were originally.
Can I say something? Yeah.
Have you seen yourself? Yes.
Is this like an appetizer for, like, gay?
Whoa. Oh, my God.
(08:06):
Right. You look so good.
Thank you. You look really good.
Thank you. Yeah.
I don't know if I spilled my drink or.
OK. No, you look really, really
good. You look great.
Thank you. No, it's like a little, it's
like a teaser trailer, you know what I mean?
A teaser? Sorry, I got distracted.
A teaser trailer for what? For audio listeners, smokes.
(08:28):
The cat is now in frame. He has joined us.
Yeah, I saw you trying to, like,tear that shapewear.
Oh. Yeah, yeah, I had shaper on when
I, like initially got dressed and then I tried to eat a
child's catiac combo. You were eating that shapewear
(08:48):
and let me tell you, I was like,if I die, I want to come back as
your shapewear. That shit didn't want to get
off, you know? No, it did not.
It was just, oh, it was there. And Spider Man 3, you know the
Tobey Maguire 1 when he's tryingto like, RIP the venom off
himself. No, what I'm.
Talking. Maybe actually.
He's got like the black. He's trying to RIP it off, Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. The things you've been wearing
(09:10):
today on your birthday day, I feel like it's been my birthday.
You know what I mean? Just you were you were wearing
that undercover bra earlier. It's a bralette.
The bralette. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was victorious. Believe you didn't know?
What a bralette. Was No.
You came down, Ronde. Mama Chichi's swinging in this,
(09:30):
like banana hammock. Yeah.
This thong for your upper body. It was like a banana hammock for
baddies. You know what I mean?
Yeah. And you just.
They're yelling at me right now.Also, as you guys are watching
or as we're filming this, technically it's not my
birthday. It is June 19th.
Yeah, it's not even her birthday.
(09:50):
My birthday's in like 6 days. But.
The episode airs. Fuck when you're watching this.
If you're watching it the day that it airs, it is my birthday.
My birthday is June 25th, if I didn't make that clear in the
last episode. It's just funny because like
your birthday month, it's just like it's six days before your
birthday and we're doing like a full tech rehearsal, like a
(10:12):
whole dress rehearsal. Well, yeah, because obviously,
like, knowing that this episode was going to air on my birthday,
I had to take full advantage of that.
Oh yeah, and you are. And it's fun and we're having a
good time. And I'm I'm excited to hear
these voice messages. I am too.
I don't honestly really have that much to say.
I think we. Can just again write it
Mamacita. No, I'm a mom.
(10:35):
I'm a mommy. Hold on, I need to go to the
bathroom. The way I literally sat here in
silence the entire time, I thinkthat was the quietest speed
break that has ever existed. Was a little more than a pee
break. Sorry.
You guys sent in a bunch of voice messages in honor of
Princess Bubble Gum Booty Batty,and we have no idea what we're
in for. We haven't heard these and we're
(10:55):
very, very excited. So yeah, let's just do it.
I think they're. Going to be good.
I'm excited. Because they're going to be
about me. I hope my therapist doesn't
watch this. Let's get rolling into.
Going to get right into this yeshello friend and Mario I just
(11:15):
wanna say happy birthday brain and I love you so so so much.
Thank you for being the bad bitch that you are.
And thank you for also all the outfit inspiration.
You have made me look like change my look from being a
little tomboy looking crazy 24/7, looking like I went to my
(11:42):
dad's closet to now looking likea badass and just killing it.
Like literally people have been complimenting my outfits at work
now and I'm like, thank you. I literally copied brand like I
bought the same like converse cruisers that you have like I
got George because of you. And so thank you for just always
killing it. And I just want to thank both of
(12:03):
you as well for standing up for the Latino community and going
to these protests and really just standing up for us and like
standing up for our country and our rights and telling Mr.
Annoying Orange to fuck off because you guys are just
(12:25):
amazing. Wait, I love you guys so much.
And Brian, I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful, wonderful
birthday. And yeah, I love you guys.
Breaking that down in order thatyou went.
First of all, I love you. Thank you so much for all the
compliments. That is so heartwarming.
Thank you. Secondly, I do look like I
raided my dad's closet half the time.
(12:46):
I know what. You're saying that I was like
looking down at what I'm wearingand I was like, that's kind of.
Well, yeah, but like even aroundthe house I I'd be wearing just
like sweats and. Wear a lot of my stuff.
Most days I really am in like comfiest clothes ever.
Not right now, but and then alsowe we don't have to dive too
much into it, but I am very happy that we went to the
(13:07):
protest too. It was, we had a great time
there. I'm really happy that we were
right down the street from 1:00.We were just exercising our
First Amendment rights and haven't been a fan of the
annoying orange. Just kind of like a pile of
pumpkin that was left on the porch too long.
Oh yeah, when you get a little rotten.
(13:27):
Yeah, you know what I mean. Like.
I just and like a little moldy little white spots on them.
It's not even that we're being political when we talk and speak
out on certain issues. I truly, truly believe that
because I'm just looking at communities, my neighbors,
family, friends, people that arefellow Americans, yeah, who are
going through terrible, terriblethings.
(13:50):
And like, you don't have to be politically affiliated with
anybody just to notice how terrible things are or how
horrible a situation is. Yeah, you should be able to look
at something and know what's right or wrong based off your
memorials and hopefully you havegood morals.
I mean, that's subjective obviously, but I think in this
case it's pretty apparent what's.
(14:12):
Yeah. Right and wrong.
And people that go, I'm not gonna listen to what the protest
is about because of these littleteeny, tiny incidents that have
happened. Yeah, when there was like 12
million people protesting. Yeah.
You know, I'm saying yeah, peacefully all across the
country. It just, to me, sounds like
willful ignorance. Like choosing to be.
(14:33):
Oh yeah, yeah. Ignorant.
Just stuff to think about. We don't have to go in a whole
political room here, but we support all immigrants coming
into this country seeking a better life.
And that's what that's what America literally was founded
on. Yeah, yeah.
Once Upon a time when we were talking about religion, we said
that neither of us are really religious anymore.
We're both kind of agnostic. And I said that my viewpoint on
everything is that I learned that God is love.
(14:55):
So regardless of whether or not I believe in God, as long as I
act through love, then I'm rightin God's eyes.
And so I try to live my life by acting through love.
And I think that doing this is, it's just that it's like I, I,
yeah, I love other people. I think other people deserve
good things. Coming from the Queen's mouth
(15:16):
herself, yes, she's the Royal Queen.
Queen Brynn Marie O'Donnell fromthe land of Bell and.
There is a queen. Yes.
No kings for real, this queen. Yeah.
And also just thank you again for your kind words with that
and with all of it. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Here comes the next one.
(15:37):
Hey Mario. Hey Bryn.
My new birthday tradition is on the week of my birthday.
I go on to TikTok and I watch Bryn's Color Me Monday, and I
take a screenshot of her color palette that she uses on the
day, and I use those colors to kind of make my own birthday
(15:58):
collage that I do every year. So yeah, happy birthday, Bryn.
Thank you so much for being proud of my birthday tradition.
I love you guys so much. I love you, Bryn.
I love you, Mario. Bye.
I'm going to cry. So cool.
It's so cool. Yeah, it's awesome.
Oh that makes me so happy. Like for our audio listeners,
Bryn is not weeping. She is not smiling ear to ear.
(16:22):
She's yeah, very nonchalant in this moment, receiving this
really overwhelmingly positive news about how our content
effects people in the real worldand has an actual impact in
people. Do you see all the makeup
stains? Yeah, all the tears of makeup
stains. We're going to go watch these.
(16:42):
You notice how mine Nothing? I cry a lot.
That makes me so happy though. Thank you so much.
I can you send them to me please?
That's awesome. I want to see OK next one.
Happy birthday Bryn. I just wanted to know what your
craziest birthday ever was like what was the craziest thing you
ever did on your birthday? Happy birthday.
(17:05):
OK, this isn't something I did, but Michael Jackson died on my
birthday when I was 11 and I got.
Waiter, he's whoa, whoa, whoa. This isn't something I did, but
Michael Jackson did die on my birthday.
And I got Poison Ivy. Well, you did it with Poison
Ivy. Had to take a oatmeal bath.
Wait, what? So you killed Michael Jackson,
(17:28):
you ran through the Poison Ivy and then you had a soaking
oatmeal? No.
Then did you hop in the bed of three bears and a cottage?
I feel like I've had crazier birthdays.
I don't know why in my head I like literally can't remember
any of my birthdays right now. Last year was fun, but it was
like pretty mild. I mean we like it was amazing.
You got me my presents and we wehung out all day.
(17:51):
We went to pop stroke. I'm saying it wasn't like crazy,
like it wasn't like wild, You know what I mean?
Yeah, I was going to say. No, it was an amazing birthday.
Like it was my best birthday yet.
We went to pop stroke with my dad.
I opened all my presents from you.
We went to dinner. I cried a lot.
I always cried on my birthday. Who else out there?
(18:12):
Actually, I feel like this is a thing.
No, I feel like this is a thing.Like people cry on their
birthdays. I know I do.
You're like having a conversation with me.
Like it's like I'm telepathic. Like I'm not even saying
anything back. And you're just like, Oh yeah,
like you could just why do you even need me, honestly, to talk?
But was I like were you? No, why do you even?
(18:37):
Why do women even need men? Honestly Like all we have to do
is kind of sit here and provide a Dick every once in a while.
OK, well, I don't even what? You don't even need that.
OK, well, I don't know why I'm here.
Well, my water bottle needs to get filled somehow.
That's true. Yeah, no.
(18:58):
Do I have any other crazy? That's the only thing that needs
to be filled. Go ahead.
Are you breathing like? That.
OK, Darth Vader. I went to Speaking of well, OK,
we've been watching Love Island.No, that's a such an elongated
story that does not need to be told.
Wait, so you're I was? Going to say one of my birthdays
(19:19):
I was at a TikTok house party and I was hanging out with one
of my mutuals who's best friendswith Sierra.
Oh, from Love Island. And we smoked on a roof.
What are you doing? Here I bought.
It's just really bad, I'm sorry.That's how you itch your eye.
You rub the lid all over your eyeball.
Yeah. I make a bond, I'm not going to
fucking I. Didn't even know that was an
option. Yeah, because I also have like
(19:41):
my fake lashes on so they can. OK chill out.
What the hell? Like window washing your
eyeball. I snuck into a rave one year and
my friends cut their legs open on a fence.
It. Was in George Washington at the
Gorge in George. One time I was having a birthday
(20:04):
party in my backyard. Kids came over and there was a
bunch of tents anywhere around the campfire.
We paintballed all day. Super fun over the time of my
life. And we're sitting around the
fire and we literally have extension cords leading out into
the tents. You know, with like TV's with
the VHS player. It's like Stranger Things,
(20:25):
right? Best birthday ever.
And we can look up from my backyard to the house.
I see the glow with my dad's downstairs walking around and he
comes outside and he walks across the yard and I'm about to
be like, damn, this is like the best day ever.
Thanks dad for letting me do this.
And like oh, I wonder what's about to happen.
And then he said Grandma died. So we've both had people die on
(20:57):
our birthdays. Yeah.
Oh, at least Grandma and. Michael, I think it was my, I
think it was like my 12th birthday.
Mine was my 11th. Are you like a serial murderer
on your birthdays? That was your birthday, that
your grandma died. I.
Thought you killed Michael. Jackson I didn't kill Michael
Jackson. And then my grandma.
(21:17):
I will say I was a little happy about it 'cause I remember
hearing rumors that he liked children and my older brother
used to put up he. It happened one time.
I don't know why I'm acting likethis happened a lot.
He printed out a picture of Michael Jackson because he knew
I was scared of him and taped itto my window.
So when I looked outside, there was just Michael Jackson staring
(21:38):
at me and it scarred me. And then he died on my birthday
and I got Poison Ivy. OK, I'm going to play the next
one. Yeah.
OK. Hi, Brandon.
Mario, happy birthday, Bryn. So excited to celebrate you this
week and watch the podcast on your birthday.
My question would be, what is the best birthday you've ever
had? OK, Love you.
(22:00):
Bye. Last year I kind of just, yeah,
I kind of just answered this in the last one.
Last year was my best birthday Ithink I've ever had.
Ever. Yeah.
With me. Yeah, you made it a really good
birthday. Whoa, me saying that even though
there was like a couple downsides to it, if you remember
correctly, such as us dying in the Las Vegas heat.
(22:23):
Outside. Oh my God, Yeah, we are in Las
Vegas. He took me to pop stroke.
I love golf. We.
Love, it's a we. I took her to a Putt putt golf
course. Yeah, in Las Vegas in June.
It was a record-breaking summer for heat and I think it was like
110. I don't even know more.
Than that, I think it was more like a. 100 Yeah.
So we lasted like two holes on the Papa Golf Course.
(22:44):
In the end, turn in and I would.My God, so just get the shit out
of me. And then I also remember.
Don't drink the pina colada. Do you know what I think I
realized? Because so the other part of why
there was like a little bit of anegative when you took me to
dinner, I was wearing this dress, but I was in.
I thought it looked familiar. Yeah, Did you?
Wash it. No, actually you should never
(23:06):
wash it. Every year you break it out and
you never wash it. We had had a couple of, we had
had a couple of drinks throughout the day though.
So by the time we got to dinner,and I don't think I realized
this until we until literally like recently, I think it was
because the alcohol was wearing off.
And so that's why I like had no appetite.
(23:28):
I was not in the mood to eat andI felt really bad because you
would research the place. It was a really nice restaurant.
Research is a really strong word.
I typed in nice restaurants whatit was.
It was Bobby Flay's. Yeah, it would be a mafi.
Yeah, it was like a French. I got gnocchi because you wanted
to make sure that they had, like, clams.
Yeah, because you wanted to make.
(23:49):
Sure, They had my favorite food.You liked a lot of shellfish.
You did research. Well, like, I just know things
about you. Yeah.
I like when a guy does anything above the bare minimum.
It's like, look what this guy did.
He knew what I like to eat and he made a reservation.
You also killed it on the presents last year.
Yeah, yeah. I know it's like if I have good
(24:10):
penmanship or I wrap a present good or I like care about my
girlfriend, there's nothing gayer than that.
Like I don't know. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that
during pride month. I think the only one that could
top that is probably like being born.
That was a pretty good birthday,I don't really remember it.
(24:33):
But Oh my God, brain, what the fuck are you becoming me?
Are you laughing like me? Now stop ruining the curtain.
Oh my God, we only have two curtains.
(24:57):
No drool on it. I feel like that curtain is
gonna be Brin coloured in like 10 years.
It's just gonna be Brin's. A mosaic.
A Brin's face. My hair already like blends into
it as soon as it's just gonna bemy face colour.
Probably sell that curtain for alot of money.
Probably some. Weirdo in Mississippi gonna like
wring it out on his hold on. Think it was second, right?
(25:21):
Yeah. Some weirdo in Oklahoma is gonna
like wring that out on his boyfriend, you know?
You know what I mean? Like the curtain.
Don't put more into it for our audio listeners.
Every time Brandon gets emotional, cries, leaks out of
any orifice, she wipes it on thecurtain behind her.
(25:44):
I also. Have a washcloth down here but I
think it had cat hair on it and that's why my eye is like
freaking out right now. You look like Cinderella, but
instead of turning back into a peasant.
My eyes are so red. You look like Cinderella, but
then she turned back into like alike a hoe are.
(26:06):
You calling me a hoe? Don't trust a hoe.
Never trust a hoe. What are you doing to the
curtain? Wiping my tails.
OK. You look so good.
Thank you. Maybe I should take a Plan B,
You know, just in case. All right, here we go.
(26:27):
Hey, Bren. Hey, Mario, it's Ashley.
Just want to say that I love your guys's podcast.
Guys are doing great. Also.
Happy birthday, Bren. My question for you is, do you
ever get the birthday Blues? And if so, how do you deal with
them? I cry on my birthday every year.
Why? Because it's a, it's a very like
(26:48):
reflective time for me. And it's obviously like another
year has passed and I'm getting older and I just think back on
like where I literally, it's like a lot of reflection and a
lot of realization. It's been a long day without
you, my friend. And I'll tell you, I feel like
(27:09):
the montage in your brain is like playing of like a young
Bryn running on a beach, You know what I mean?
Like that's what I'm like imagining when you're saying
this kind of, you know what I mean?
Like I will remember you do. You not like feel depth of like.
Feel depth. Do you not feel you're dressed
(27:40):
like American? No.
But no. But actually, do you never like
get like reflective and like sentimental for your birthday?
For my birthday. Yeah.
Not really. At all like you never think
(28:01):
I've. Ever heard of this dude?
It's like your emotions are wearing on me.
Are you ready? I want to.
Just my throat. I'm so sorry.
I just roared with the voice of 1000.
Lions actually maybe a million degrees in here.
Yeah, what did we have the temperature set?
So hot. I mean, what does the studio
have the temperature set to in here?
(28:21):
Do you want me to go check the thermostat?
Yeah. If you don't mind.
Jerry Yeah. Can we go check the thermostat?
Is it hot in here or is it just me?
OK, ready. OK.
Hi Mario and Bryn, it's Crystal from tri-cities, Washington.
I just wanted to say happy birthday, Bryn, and I wanted to
(28:43):
see, I turned 40 in August and Iwanted to see if you have any
ideas for like a self birthday present.
If you could either share something that you have done for
yourself in the past or maybe that you have planned this year
for your birthday, whether it was like a concert or a tattoo
or an extra special set of nailsor something.
But I need some ideas on something to do for myself this
year because 40 is a big one andI'm probably celebrating mostly
(29:06):
alone. So anyway, love what you guys do
Happy birthday, Brynn. Happy birthday to you as well.
Early birthday. An extra set of nails.
Nails, got it. My biggest recommendation that I
could give you what my best recommendation that I could give
you is what I got myself as a present last year and that was a
(29:28):
Dyson. If that's something that you
want, obviously. But whether it's a blow dryer or
like with the one with all the attachments and stuff, I use
that thing everyday and I love it deeply, deeply.
It was a great investment. I'm trying to think of other
things. Like things that you've gotten
for yourself over the years. A new makeup routine would be a
really fun one again, if you're into that, or like a shopping
(29:49):
spree for yourself, like actually go in person and just
shop around and. How many looks like makeup wise
do you think you've had since like you entered adulthood?
You know what I mean? Like since you left home, like
how many different like looks like makeup routines have you
had? Like can I guess?
I don't even know are we going like my adulthood?
(30:12):
So like 18 up. Yeah, so like more than 5.
Nine years? Yeah.
More than five. Yeah, Mario, I changed mine.
Like weekly, if not like every time.
Routines. Yeah, now that I have, like, I
literally have a Sephora at home.
Yeah. And I mean, think about it.
(30:32):
When I do my makeup, it's different almost every time.
Yeah, but I meant like specific type of looks.
Is that like a different look every?
Time like I do my little freckles and like I'll do no
wing, I'll do like no lashes I'll do think about it.
I'm thinking, OK, yeah, I didn'tknow that was like counted as
like a different look every single time, no matter what
little. Well, I said the what what I was
(30:54):
suggesting to her was like a newmakeup routine, like all new
products, things that you haven't tried before, like like
a whole new routine or like replenish your routine or get
like the better version of your foundation or whatever it might
be. Oh, lingerie sets.
Also to or like really nice pajamas.
Really nice silk pajamas. I keep like looking at what
(31:16):
you're wearing like right now for your little birthday thing,
you know what I mean? And I feel like I got a present
that make sense. Like I feel like.
You want me to put a bow on later?
What? OK.
I was trying to think of like, what else would be good gift
site gift ideas for yourself? Oh like new sheets or new
(31:36):
bedding? Love new candles.
I'm just like listing things that I like.
Oh. A new piece of furniture.
Yeah, what that's. A good one.
It sounds like you're just goingto the store.
Like I feel like when guys get presents or maybe this is just
me. Keep it, keep it in, please, I
(32:05):
beg you, please. Emma, I'll give you $1,000,000.
I will start a GoFundMe. Emma, the editor, our wonderful,
amazing editor. I will get you $1,000,000.
I don't care what it takes. I don't care what she says.
I know it's her birthday episode.
Keep the farts in the episode, please.
I'll get you a million. We'll raise it.
(32:27):
I could give it to so many different things that can help
out so many different things. Oh my God, please keep it.
Please keep that in. There's your birthday present
for turning 40. Breathe, Oh my God.
Or you to wipe your ass on the curtain next.
(32:49):
For our audio listeners, Britain's transferred about half
of her face to the curtain. Bad.
Wow, it's OK. Oh my God, please keep that fart
in. It's so my makeup's so bad.
Now, no, I think those were great suggestions for for gifts.
I I feel like for dudes, it's like we get something that we
(33:13):
don't need. You know what I mean?
Like I feel like you just described so many things that
like a lot of people already have.
Well, it's not necessarily things that like you need.
I feel like I was describing things that like you might
already have, like you were justsaying, but.
Like it sounds like you're up onit sounds like the things that
you were listing were like upgrades to things you already
(33:35):
have. Like you just said, like to
improve. Upon Oh my God, my makeup is so
messed up. It's fine, we're just rolling
with it. A good one.
Please don't leave. Please keep watching and
listening. No, I like literally want to
take all my makeup off now anyway.
You. Should we could?
Why not? Go grab my makeup wipes you.
Want to just like, wipe it off live on the podcast?
Do you want to go get them for me?
(33:57):
Yeah, go get them. No, I don't know why I decided
like I'm definitely going to go get.
Them OK, Should I just wait? Should we pause again really
quick and I can like change it? Up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK. What if we did that?
Yeah. OK.
OK. Hold on.
Can we do like real quick? Real quick do like a the
craziest real quick Emma just put the craziest, weirdest real
(34:19):
quick puck Emma just put like a weird cheesy transition yeah,
wait one second and. We're back.
We just went showered, put on our little lotions and colognas
and perfumes. I smell like Batty bait over
here. Take a little whiff, but take a
(34:41):
hit. All that.
Teach what? Oh yeah, actually.
That little tea tree oil, you know, I feel so good.
I feel refreshed. Oh my God.
I also feel a lot better. My eyes are really red because I
got a little soap in them. I feel like I just ate a
Gatorade's ass, you know what I mean?
I feel like super. You know what I mean?
(35:03):
Yeah. For sure I.
Just feel good. Yeah, I feel a lot better.
I got the air is on 60. 8 Now, yeah, it's it's blowing.
I can feel it. The vibe for our audio listeners
went from like party madness, mayhem, brain rot to now like
relax, sleepover, cool, sleepover, Oh, listen to my
(35:23):
voice. Oh, isn't it?
Is it doing something for you? It's like deep, deep voice.
Anything. No.
This ain't doing nothing for you.
You want me to take a big old bite out of this cupcake?
If you want to do you want. That's not doing nothing for
(35:44):
you. Not you want to.
No. Not really.
Do you want to listen to the next one?
Yeah, I just can't believe your clothes are still on after it's
it's whatever. It's no big deal.
Fine. OK.
Play the next one. Hey, Bryn.
Hey Mario, happy birthday, my name is Tia.
(36:04):
I've been following for a while and I absolutely love your
makeup looks. Bryn, my wife and I are also
loving the podcast. Y'all's relationship dynamic
feels so relatable to us and we always watch the episodes
together. My question for you and both of
you can answer this is what's one thing that you hope to
(36:24):
accomplish before your next birthday, either professional or
personal? OK, bye, I think.
That was Tia Tamara. No, I think that professionally
my by my next birthday I for sure want to be at a million on
Instagram and I would love to have maybe a tour.
(36:49):
In the world like a live podcast.
Going yeah, yeah, I would also like to start screaming.
We've been talking a lot about that.
Oh yeah. And then personally, I mean, I'm
not going to tell you what I like, wish for on my birthday
cupcake. What?
What? Got that at Walmart.
It's. Also not my birthday.
(37:09):
You think it's like a Tiffany cupcake on six days before your
birthday? No, no.
No, but actually, well. He didn't propose on my birthday
podcast. No, personally, I think I just
want to be in maybe a better place mentally than I am
currently. And I not that I'm in like a bad
place mentally, that sounds really bad.
I just mean, I feel like there'salways room for improvement and
(37:31):
I always want to be like the best version of myself.
So I hope that there's like a lot of growth there.
What else? Personally, I would like to be a
little more fit perhaps. Perhaps I'd like to get a little
more fence. Would I?
Do you want me to answer anything?
It's my birthday. Yes, I do want you to answer.
I don't know, I just want this podcast to be as successful as
(37:52):
possible in live tour would be super cool.
And it's not that I want to growthis podcast like exponentially
or like, oh, everyone come, you know, follow and subscribe and
listen to whatever. Like I want this podcast to
reach as many people as we can that like to consume this sort
of content. You know what I mean?
I wanted to grow like naturally,organically, while still, you
(38:14):
know, I don't know. Personal and.
Yeah, and I, and I, I don't get me wrong, I want, you know, a
lot of people to tune in, but I,I, I want to do it the right
way. And like, you know, everyone
that's here so far, this little weird, pretty funny community
that we're building, I'm having a blast and everyone calling in
and stuff and it makes really happy.
(38:35):
I feel like this podcast is already really special and I
just want to keep growing it andthat's like a big one for me.
I'd like to do more stand up. I'd like to go to film school.
I've been writing a lot and I don't know, I have a lot of, you
know, all my long term goals. What do you want?
Personally. Personally, I don't know, trying
(38:55):
to lock some things down, you know, not to put any time on it.
But if you like it, then you should put like, you know, a
time frame on it. I know that's the thing.
So by the next birthday, I don'tknow who knows?
You know, I there's a lot of really big personal endeavors
that I am circumnavigating at the momento personally, I just
(39:20):
want to be the best me that I could possibly be.
And our relationship means more to me than anything.
So continuing to cultivate what we have and connect more and
communicate more with my friendsand family.
And what the fuck why are you crying?
(39:44):
Oh my God what? Why this just?
Makes me really happy. I know it does me too but like
it's it's so confusing. Too.
It's confusing to me because like, you get really happy and
you look more sad than you've ever been.
You look like Huda, you know what I mean?
Like it's like. You look like a Victorian
(40:08):
painting of like your husband just died.
Look at you. Oh, my God.
Why? I don't know.
I feel like you're Queen Delulu.Like I don't know what the.
Oh, my God, that poor curtain. Brynn just decided that you did
you just blow your nose into thecurtain.
I. Sniffled.
(40:28):
Sorry I told you I always cry onmy birthday.
It's not your birthday. Well, it's your birthday for
everyone listening, so yeah. I can assure you, wherever we
are, wherever we are, in six days, on my actual birthday,
I'll be crying. I believe it.
Yep. Oh my God.
Yeah. Anyways, personally, I want to
(40:49):
be the best me that I can possibly be.
I don't know. I just want to grow to my full
potential. Grow this to our full potential.
We did the math and across all of our platforms as it stands,
both of us combined, 14 million people following, subscribing
across all platforms, pretty crazy to think about.
So we really appreciate everyoneout there.
(41:11):
It's a matter of just getting everybody to the same place at
the same time for the party. And I feel like this podcast is
the party so. Yeah, it's just onward and
upward. Exactly.
Always. Great questions, love it.
We love you also. I'm going.
To get a little water. Hold on.
All right, here we go. Happy birthday Brian, I'm
(41:33):
wishing you all the best. I just want to say that you've
done more for bisexual women than you could ever know,
because as a bisexual girl who'sdating a man, I often question
if I still like women after all this time.
All I have to do is open your Instagram.
Yep, I still like women. Thank you for your service and
happy birthday. Thank you for your service.
That's what I say for real though, because you serve.
(41:56):
Thank you for your service. Damn I fucking love that.
See that's always confusing to me.
What do you my God? That's welcome, though.
Showing your shoulders a gatewaydrug to selling bathwater and
soap. Hear me, hear me.
I would buy my bathwater. SOAP 100%.
(42:17):
Yeah, I'd be first in line. Yeah.
Yeah, no one else's, though, if they.
Oh. No, I thought you meant no one
else would buy mine. I was like, that's a little
rude. I.
Think no. There would actually be like a
line out the door. Damn, yeah, if you thought I
sold out my jewelry, damn. Well, if we ever need some
money. Well, if we ever need money,
(42:44):
I'll go take a bath tomorrow. You scoop all that dirty bad
water, dump it in with some lie and make yourself some soap.
Sell it to the fans. Did you know that lie is really
dangerous? Like making soap is actually
like, really dangerous. We watched Fight Club together,
do you not remember? He's like this and they dumped a
lie on his hand. Oh yeah.
(43:05):
Yeah. That's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot that that. Yeah, what was the question?
Oh, just that I keep her intact with her bisexuality.
Oh yeah. OK, we're playing the next one.
Yeah. Hi Ben and Mario, I love
listening to the podcast. It makes my drive to work even
better than bearable. I have a quick little story for
(43:25):
you guys. In high school, there was
another girl with the same last name as me and our birthdays are
five days apart. We convinced A concerning amount
of people that we were twins andthat our mum was in labour for
five days. It took some time, but after
(43:45):
months of openly bickering aboutwho our mum liked better and who
was the favorite, I'm confident that we convinced way too many
people. We don't talk at all anymore,
but every year we send a little happy birthday twin message.
(44:05):
Hope you guys have the best day.I love you guys so much.
Happy birthday, Bryn. Thank you.
That's so cool. There's so many things I love
about that. Yeah.
Like the fact that she's from Australia calling in and like
listening to us on our drive to work.
Oh my God, that is so amazing. Thank you so much.
And then and then what? Hopefully Australia.
(44:28):
I think she was Australia. Pretty sure, yeah.
I have almost like a little anecdote to match on to that.
Not literally the same at all. My best friend throughout
elementary school, she was born the day before me, I think like
8 hours before me and she stole my hospital room.
My grandma worked at the hospital.
She had set aside like one of the nice newer rooms.
(44:50):
But then she my friend got she birthed before me and so they
had to put me in an old room andthen.
Yep, I have nothing to relate. That's a funny little anecdote.
I like it. We're a bestie.
Labor for five days? Is that even possible?
(45:11):
Maybe. How long does labor last?
Like what's like the longest someone's ever?
What? What do you think?
Can't be more than like a day. What?
Wait, what's it say? 75 days.
No. The longest recorded labor
lasted 75 days, from August 13thto November 6th, 1982.
(45:35):
This occurred in Warsaw, Poland,when a woman gave birth to
twins. What?
In general, the average length of Labor is 12 to 24 hours for
first time mothers and 8 to 8 to10 for.
After that so it is possible. 75days.
Stuck in there with. A roommate?
(45:56):
Three months. I don't even know if that works.
Wouldn't you just like cut them out at a certain point?
Yeah, like AC section, well, this was an 83 or 82, so.
I don't know. Did they do cesarean sections?
Why did I use its full? Government name?
Yeah. Is that what its name is?
Yeah. Oh my God, that's like.
Cesarean, right? Do you know why it's called bar?
(46:19):
The bar exam. You really don't know what.
What bar? Oh, like is this when you find
out that bar stands for beverageand alcohol room?
Did you ever know that? Really.
Yeah, I want to double track are.
You shitting? On Yeah, you didn't know that.
It's so fun. Like Cesarean is that like the
name of the person that, like, invented the C-section?
(46:41):
I feel like if you're in there for 75 days, you should come out
with like, a job. You should come out already
knowing how to say a few words, maybe knowing how to read, you
know what I mean? That's like a long fucking time
to be in there. Self-inflicted cesarean.
OK. No thank you.
Hold on, hold on. The term bar in context of
(47:03):
alcohol does not stand for an Acura.
Oh fuck you. Originally acting as a physical
barrier between the customers and the person serving drinks.
The word bar itself comes from the barrier.
The bar that was actually at thebar.
That's so cool. Who told me that?
(47:25):
I saw that on a fucking TikTok and I was like oh.
Nice one. Yeah.
Hey, Hi. I really just wanted to say
happy birthday and thank you forliterally everything that you
do. Even if you have days where you
feel like you may not have an effect or you don't do anything,
(47:50):
you single handedly have improved my bra game and you
have just been such an inspiration and somebody who
helps me feel comfortable to be me and I'm really, really happy
that you're here. Look what you did for our audio
(48:17):
listeners. Brian is Ryan.
It's OK. Over under How many times do you
think you've wiped your face on the curtain?
5 Over under How many times do you think you've cried?
5. Over under how many times do you
think you've said it's your birthday?
20. 20. Yeah.
(48:38):
And price is right. These are the real answers.
How close was she? There we go.
That was really sweet. That was beautiful.
That was really nice. That was that was amazing.
I was so really. Happy.
Oh, it's your birthday. Happy birthday my.
Hairy legs. Gosh, you're like Sonic the
Hedgehog. Happy birthday Bryn.
Crazy. We're actually birthday twins.
(48:59):
June 25th is the best birthday and in my totally unbiased
opinion, and it's because it's six months to Christmas, so our
half birthday being Christmas isjust like lovely.
Anyway, happy birthday and I have always said that.
I have literally always said that no, it is the actual it is
the best birthday you can possibly have.
And when I was little, I used totell everyone in elementary
(49:21):
school that I would get presentson my half birthday and everyone
just thought I was a spoiled brat, but it was because my half
birthday is Christmas. It's a pretty cool birthday,
honestly. It's a really cool birthday.
Six month split is very well planned.
Your parents. My mom cooked with that one.
She really did. And your.
Dad, she literally like cooked. And your dad provided the
batter. OK.
(49:44):
Bubble gum booty Batty batter. Sorry.
I'm sending that to my dad, OK? Why would you just please don't
send that clip to your dad? He says he listens to this.
Oh my God. We have.
Yeah, we have two more. OK, in Denmark, when you turn 25
(50:06):
years old, your friends will come and kidnap you and tie you
to a pole, and then they will throw cinnamon all over you.
I don't know why this is a tradition, but it itches as fuck
in the ass. But when you turn 30 they will
do the same thing, just with pepper.
Did that just happen? They're like, was that real?
Was that real Again? Again.
(50:30):
In Denmark when you turn 25 years old your friends will come
and kidnap you and tie you to a pole and then they will throw
cinnamon all over you. I don't know why this is a
tradition but it itches as fuck in the ass.
But when you turn 30 they will do the same thing, just with
pepper. Stop everything What?
(50:52):
The fuck? It's like the cinnamon
challenge. Denmark sounds fucking lit.
Yeah, that sounds actually. What in the God damn Hunger
Games is going on? Yeah, with the fucking.
Oh my God. In Denmark, a quirky tradition
dictates that if someone turns 25 and is still unmarried, they
are playfully covered in cinnamon by friends and family.
(51:14):
Playfully covered. I don't think if my brother, my
sister, my anybody was 25 and unmarried I would be hurling
frozen cinnamon balls that I've been marinating and dog shit for
two years. Are you kidding?
Me. No, this is not giant cinnamon
shakers. Just go into town.
(51:35):
Oh my God, there's videos of people being strapped at chairs
with duct tape and being cinnamoned.
What's going on in Denmark? Oh my God.
And then it's Pepper when you're30.
Yeah, what? You're getting held down and
they're like, it itches in the ass.
There's a pepper shaker like youbetter get married next year.
(51:56):
Oh my God, that was the greatestgift of the whole podcast.
Right there, that was amazing. Is that, oh, that was, it's a
real tradition. Yeah, that's crazy.
I love that. I wish.
I was dumbfounded. Call in every week and tell us
something new about Denmark. Yeah, never introduce yourself.
(52:16):
Never tell. Us if you do it just like that.
In Denmark, you please. We'll have a whole podcast
dedicated to. It's in Denmark.
In Denmark. Oh, my God, That was amazing.
Thank you so much. That's great to know.
Maybe we should start that in America.
Yeah, who knows. If you guys know anybody 25
(52:37):
years old and unmarried, maybe try it out The.
Cinnamon Challenge. Cinnamon Challenge.
Bring it back. Let's.
I mean, we brought. My voice is gone.
Oh my God. OK.
Last one and it has it's titled Bryn B-day Reel so I don't know
if this is special. Let's do it.
(52:59):
OK, happy birthday Bryn. Happy birthday Bryn.
Happy birthday Bryn. Happiest of happy birthdays
Bryn. Happy birthday Bryn.
I hope you have a very great andspecial day and I hope that
everyone around you makes you feel so loved and so important
because you are. Happy birthday Bryn.
I love you bitch. I ain't gonna never stop loving
(53:19):
you bitch. Happy birthday Bryn.
I love you so much and I love your content.
I hope your day is filled with nothing but positive vibes to
the baddest bubble gum booty Batty on the Internet Happy,
happy birthday, Happy birthday Bryn.
Happy birthday Bryn. Happy birthday Bryn.
I hope you have a great birthday.
Happy birthday Bryn, and thank you for bringing so much joy to
(53:41):
all of us. It's the pride of America.
Happy birthday girl, because youare our pride of America.
Happy birthday Bryn, you are so thoughtful and kind and
beautiful and deserving of all the love in the world.
Happy birthday Bryn, you are so inspiring.
You are so beautiful. I love seeing your videos every
day. Happy birthday girl, you deserve
(54:02):
everything amazing. Happy birthday gorgeous.
Happy birthday Bryn, wishing youmany more years of love,
happiness, beauty and friendship.
Happy birthday, you are so beautiful and amazing and I hope
you have an awesome day. Happy birthday happy birthday
beautiful human being. Just want to say happy birthday
(54:24):
to Bryn. We share a birthday Happy
freaking birthday You are so well loved you and Mario in our
household and we just hope that you have the best day ever.
Happy birthday Bryn I really love your videos and I really
love color me Monday. I wanted to wish a happy
birthday to a fellow big titty committee girly.
(54:44):
Hi Bryn, happy birthday. I just want to say I love your
content. I wanted to wish you the best
birthday ever. Happy birthday to Bryn, hope you
have the best day ever. I just wanted to stop by and say
happy birthday and that you get everything that you want in life
because you certainly deserve it.
Happy birthday Bryn, absolute queen to talk icon.
Happy birthday, I hope you have the best time of your life.
(55:05):
Happy birthday to the most beautiful, gorgeous, humble,
amazing influencer I've ever seen.
Happy birthday Bryn Happy birthday I hope you have the
best day ever and thank you for being my comfort creator.
Happy birthday Bryn just wanted to say happy birthday hope you
have the most amazing day and you get super spoiled.
(55:28):
Happy birthday birthday. Happy birthday Ben I love one
for my birthday is a big booty house.
I love you, love you, love you and I'm so happy for you.
It's your season live it up babygirl.
Happy birthday Bryn, we all knowMara is going to spoil the hell
out of you. Massive Happy birthday to Bryn.
Happy birthday. Happy birthday.
(55:50):
I hope you have the best birthday week of your life
pretty girl. Happy birthday to the most Trump
diddly delicious bubble gum booty Batty to ever exist.
Very happy birthday to you, Bryn.
Super fan over here, love you all and I hope that you have an
amazing amazing day. Bryn.
Happy birthday bring you in my gay awakening.
(56:13):
Oh my God, that was beautiful. That was like that was insane.
Oh, that was beautiful. I.
Think you guys broke me. That was that was insane.
I'm trying not to cry so hard right now.
That was beautiful. The little kids sprinkled
throughout was cruel and unusualpunishment.
(56:34):
There is multiple times just themost adorable voice I've ever
heard ever. Oh my God.
Oh that was beautiful. That was so pretty.
Oh my God, that was wonderful. I'm so happy I took my makeup.
Oh my God, you look like a melting candle.
(56:57):
I'm so glad you took your makeupon.
Your beautiful and I'm so glad so many people see that and tell
you that. And that was I'm I don't even
know. We appreciate you guys so much.
This podcast and all you guys watching and listening are so
beyond special to us. I think, I don't know, this
(57:18):
speaks for itself. I know you're struggling to find
the words right now, but I thinkit's pretty apparent how you
feel in my birthday present to you.
I wish I would have ordered. It was just the Costco size box
of Kirkland Signature tissues. So we don't think it's a curtain
anymore in dirty dish towels andoh man.
(57:38):
I love you all so much. That was literally the most
meaningful thing. I'm going to just play that to
myself every night. That's so cool, go to sleep.
It was really cool. That was really cool.
It was really cool. Oh man, yeah.
For audio listener if if it. For audio listeners, if if you
want to play it back, watch the video.
(58:00):
Brynn slowly melts through like a ice cream cone on a hot July
day. Las Vegas Blvd.
That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
Like honestly, that was Oh my God that.
Was really cool. So many people.
I, I mean guys, oh, what the fuck there's I mean, she's
(58:22):
already spoiled. I mean, it's just a bonus at
this point. I am going to spoil the hell out
of her, but that's going to be atough one to top.
Oh my God, that was so beautiful.
I love that so much. That was the nicest thing, and
Emma, thank you so much for putting that together.
It was beautiful. It was really cool.
Sorry, I'm literally. I know, I know.
I am a wreck. I'm like, I'm going to start
(58:45):
great. It's.
Like, oh God, it's over. I was like, that room was so
annoying. I'm going to be like on the
verge of falling asleep. It's like going to be 1:00 AM.
I'm just going to close my eyes.I'm going to hear happy
birthday, Bryn. Happy.
Birthday, Bryn. Happy birthday.
(59:05):
It's 1:30 right now. Happy birthday, Bryn.
I'm going to play that for myself every single year until I
die. In a couple.
I know. I'm so sorry.
OK, You guys broke my girlfriendon her birthday podcast.
No, this is the most beautiful thing ever.
(59:27):
What do I do? Help.
Oh, it's OK. It was beautiful.
I know. It was really beautiful.
I'm sorry. It was a little over the tower.
No, it's OK. All right.
It was just really meaningful. I think I speak for both of us.
(59:50):
Is it? Yeah.
I believe it. Yeah.
I think this might be a good spot to end it.
You guys made this so special. Thank you guys so much for all
the calls today while you're listening to.
This really is Britain's birthday.
So feel free to reach out, let her know, tell her happy
(01:00:10):
birthday. And I'm so proud of you.
I love you. I'm so glad I'm here to
celebrate with you. And this is so special.
And thank you, guys so much for making this special.
Thank you, guys so much for tuning in.
Make sure to follow us on all ofour socials.
I don't, I don't know what to say.
Thank you guys. Seriously.
About us. Yeah, you know if.
(01:00:30):
You're one of my birthday twins.I know there was a couple thrown
in there, so happy birthday to you too.
Happy birthday. If it's your birthday month,
your birthday week, it's your birthday today.
Happy birthday. What a beautiful, beautiful,
beautiful, beautiful podcast episode.
Oh, this? Was great so.
Happy. Thank you guys so much.
All right, that's it. Make sure to follow us.
You're pretty funny.
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