#30: 2 Pretty 2 Funny with Leslee and Cody

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
So this is a red flag that you are all familiar with.
This is, I don't know if you know him, Darth Vader.
I think you said that right. I think so.
I know it's it's a very unique name Harana plant that I built.
Father who art in. Heaven hallowed be thy name.
And then? I picked this out.

(00:23):
I also bought it for Mario for. Excuse.
You. Brynn bought Mario the coolest
possible thing you could find and on the back shows like the
entire collection of them. I want them.
I picked this out too. I built that.
It's. A All the Legos.
You see, Oh my God, Ray Allen's there.
I know I I snuck him so. Heavy.

(00:45):
I've had that. That wasn't my childhood.
Listen to my voice. His body like.
The bobble head, That's insane. So it's because this was a toy
made from the back in the days. Was that was in my childhood
bedroom? I had that on my night stand
growing up. It doesn't.
Feel like that doesn't? Feel.
No, it's a murder weapon. That's like a Clue token, you
know what I mean? Like I told him from Clue, like

(01:05):
he was in the courtroom with a Ray Allen bobble head and his
finger up his ass. Hey guys, this is the new
podcast set up. It's night time.
We spent a lot of time. Yeah, I can't even talk right
now. I didn't do.
Anything. 'Cause I.
Like locked in and we were like,we'll make like one or two
changes to what you have and then.

(01:27):
As you can see, the studio spacehas changed.
Yeah, if you also can't see, we have guests that we are going to
be filming with today. Cody, Leslie.
Leslie Cody. Actually, we're going to be
filming tomorrow. Where's my camera?
Right in front of you. Yeah, we're filming tomorrow.
Up to this point, I've been staring at this camera while
I've been talking. I also keep.

(01:49):
Looking at that one I keep, yeah, I don't know.
Are you going to introduce our guests?
Can I do action? Action Cody Marler and his
beautiful wife. Leslie Marler Leslie Marler and
Cody is the husband. Oh, that's true.
That's right. Actually, Leslie Marler and
wait, she's got a half a thing in the in the she's got a she's
a submarine. She's a half a person.

(02:10):
She's got, she's got an extra. No, we got less.
She's not half a person. She's one and a.
Half 1 1/2. She has the power of 1. .5. .5
Baby. Also to be clear, a baby knows
the name you guys do but like. I forgot.
No. OK, no.
The waiter at our dinner knew the name.
Our waiter we did before we did we.

(02:31):
Oh yeah, you guys told the waiter?
What was the name? I forgot, the waiter goes.
Through we can say, we can say. You're obviously believe this.
We'll give you a clue. It has to do with the Allspark
and Autobots, Decepticons, Witwiki.
Use your imagination. Prime is our son's.

(02:51):
Name is Optimus Prime and I'm very excited.
To name your child blue. I'm blue double double dot we.
Almost like I'm not kidding. Don't say we half.
A second blue chew was like, I mean and.
We're like, no, no, no. Blue Chew almost punched Yeah.
Friend. Their lives, yeah.
That's what I said. I said call tuition, pay for it.
Yeah. And they said no.

(03:13):
We do actually need to introduceCody and Leslie and tell the
people who we. Are Leslie Marler This is Cody
Marler. They are no.
I have more to say tomorrow likeand I want to get sentimental
with. OK.
We want to go to bed. We set this shit up.
No, no, that's not true. Mario needs to poo.
Let's. Be real, he.
Doesn't need to poo, Mario said.I'm going to have to poo.

(03:33):
Oh, it's bad. I can feel it right now.
I'm already like, this is my emotional support pillow and I'm
just digging it into my stomach and I'm like don't shit your
pants just make it through this.I put on my last outfit to film
tonight, so I'm you're going to see me in this tomorrow,
everybody. That's OK.
This is where I fucked up. Everybody ordered different
things from DoorDash and I didn't order anything.

(03:54):
And I was like, I'll pick up everybody.
So I had like spicy Indian food.I had Chinese food.
It was not spicy. God, you can't.
Just let him have one thing. Oh.
My God, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna shit my pants right here,
I said. What was it last episode that
was gonna shit my pants? Yeah, I was gonna shit I.
Wanted to shit your pants on the.
Pocket, which I will do. I also made the very stupid

(04:14):
mistake of falling for buy one get one free entree.
Oh yeah, nobody else ate Chinesefood.
But I I was like, well, it's free.
And then I ate it all. But I was eating like a buffet
style downstairs right before this and I don't think I
realized how much I ate. Also.
You guys are always. Fingers like, it doesn't matter.
It matter to me. But he was like, hey, can I have

(04:35):
some of that? And I was like, yeah, he's like.
For the noodles. And I was like, yeah, noodles
included. Just Cody like unwraps another
of the plenty of plastic Ware. He just like goes, oh, he just
starts unwrapping it and he's like, here, I'll just put that
and I'm just like fucking. Good dude.
It's like this stuff is good. Like a Kitty that shows.
Out of the back. These noodles would be so much

(04:56):
easier. And The funny thing is like, I
did not care. Like the fat in me was just
like, yeah, they are good man. But long short story long, we're
going to I'm going to shit my pants.
We're going to. We'll see you guys in the
morning tomorrow. For now, rodeo and trail.

(05:24):
Welcome back to the Pretty FunnyPodcast.
I'm Britt. And I'm Mario.
Thanks for watching. Thanks for listening.
Thanks for tuning in. We have two beautiful guests
with us. The Marlers.
There we go. Yeah, Give it up.
Give it up for the Marlers. Happy to be here.
The Marlers. I am excited to do.

(05:45):
It. Yeah, yeah.
All right, guys. All right.
Guys, the live studio audience is crazy, no?
Jesus Christ. OK, shirt back on.
Yeah, Sir. Thank you.
Pants on too. OK.
Here we go, the bit Cody, we just started.
Oh, yeah, no, no. This was just like yesterday
when we were doing the the the game and then we just decided to

(06:09):
go straight into the New Girl. Oh my God, yeah, we just went
and did a bit for like 1/2 an hour straight half.
Y'all were exhausting to. What was it?
What was the game called? A New Girl.
All of. The Thomas Jefferson.
America. All American.
All American. Hot American wet summer.
Yeah, that's something that was.Yeah, and they like hot pillow
to we were just doing that just make we just started going Yeah

(06:31):
to. Go.
I just like it when I'm with someone and I just feel like
we're just two loose dogs at thedog park, you know what I mean?
What are we doing? We're just sniffing asses.
Yeah, they're just sitting on the park bench.
We're out there sniffing. Asses odor.
Peeing on stuff, chasing balls just like this is so much fun.
That's. You were quite literally chasing
balls. Yeah, we're the racquetball is

(06:52):
like optimum bounce for like indoor activities.
By the way, if you want to do somany ricochets, some shots, we
played pig in the backyard. We developed her, she's.
A random game, Yeah. Long story short, I want to get
the introductions in. Who are these people?
Why are they here? Leslie is an amazing person and
one of my best friends, and she is an incredible mother.

(07:14):
I look up to you in so many ways.
You said last night that I can come to you whenever we decide
to have children and I will be taking advantage of that.
And she is just a wonderful personality and shares that with
people. She's literally like Facetiming
with a best friend with her videos.
She's just incredible. She's amazing.
And also like, I mean just codeswife, whatever, whatever.

(07:35):
And this is Jon Snow and. That's Cody.
It is. Please, you don't come.
On please do this. Thing ever.
That was great. That was thank.
You. Cody and Leslie from beautiful
state of Texas. They are also influencers and we
met a couple years ago. I wanted to take this moment to

(07:56):
wish you a happy birthday, wish you both like the best
friendship ever, and explain a little bit of the lore because I
didn't even know that you could do this, if that makes sense,
until I talked to these beautiful people who are making
couples content online. That was just scrolling
whatever. We started talking one way or
another. I think we had beef at one
point. Who knows?
We're just having fun. And then we just started talking

(08:17):
daily. And the best way I can say this
is like you guys taught me that you could meet somebody online
and have like a real friendship.And I think if it wasn't for
you, I wouldn't even have considered having like a
relationship. No, it makes me emotional, like
it really does. I'll take credit.
Yeah, no. I called it first, you know.
We like we we clicked immediately and it's blossoming

(08:38):
to a. 4 hour first conversation.Yeah, yeah.
It's just when you start talkingto somebody and you're like, Oh,
this is cool. And I I didn't know that you
could do this and you know, likemake a living out of it or use
it as an Ave. to pursue your dreams or anything else.
And you guys taught me all that and like, I wouldn't even be
here today if it wasn't for you guys.
And we talk all the time. I'm being dead serious.
We talk like daily and just strategize and bullshit.

(09:00):
And I just we wanted to show youguys how much we appreciate you
as friends because more back story we'll get into later.
But you guys were there when Brynn came and visited like
literally dating. When we started dating, I
literally told Leslie I was like, hey, I don't really know
her that well yet, but like, she's going to come up.
I was horrified. And I was like.
Well, we met alone first, that'swhat.
I mean I. Was like, I was like if she's.

(09:21):
Weird to you, You let me know like I like literally was like
if I leave and she just turns into like I don't even know you
know what I mean? Like Regina George or something.
Like let me know. Like be honest.
No, she gave me a tampon immediately.
We were clicking like. Yo, we came back in there.
Just like, so nervous. Marie was like, Oh, yeah, these
two influencer friends, they're staying with me for the Super
Bowl. And I looked you guys up,
obviously, like, on the plane onthe way here.

(09:43):
And I was like, oh, my God, she's so pretty.
They seem so cool and fun and funny and like, I was like, I
don't know if I'm going to fit in.
Like, their personalities are just so fun.
And I don't know if I'm like, funny enough to like.
And I had the opposite, not opposite like, but the the the
exact same opposite. Hello, but I had never met
another. I'm from like a smaller town in
Texas. Like there's not a there's not a

(10:03):
bunch of us just around doing influencing and content in that
at that scale. So I've never met another woman
influencer. I've been a fan of Brins for
like forever and I was like, God, she's so pretty and she's
so cool and like, what if she's like beautiful?
Well, beautiful women can be intimidating.
Like if you like you're beautiful and you're successful
and you're I was intimidating I.Get it?

(10:24):
And I was like, what if she's not nice?
And what if she doesn't like me?And literally I was like, girl,
I'm so sorry. I just started my period and I'm
in this stupid man's apartment and there's no Could you please
have a tampon here? You're a doctor back then, by
the way. Oh.
My it was like. Not suitable for female life.
I'm asking duct tape. Someone's bleeding.
I got duct tape. I got a screwdriver.
What do you? What do you need?

(10:44):
We bought it immediately. It was great when when you did
like when she this is going to be.
We had never met any influencers, no much less.
Like that we even. Really on this scale of brand
because like for reference, thatsame trip when she came down
like that was all three of our first time, like not brand, but
Mario Leslie and his first time at an event, like a invited

(11:04):
event. So like.
It's all very new. Grin was the type that been to
movie like premiere. She was a seasoned.
Trezo I lived in. California, there was a lot of
events to go to. Elimidation of not like because
she's rude or anything, but the intimidation of like this is a
pro. If we're all we're all
beginners. This is a seasoned vet.
Let me, let me actually break. This there like within the hour

(11:25):
of when we needed to go. Like in my mini skirt and boots.
On the way. Yeah, ready.
We're in my apartment. Mind you, there's ATV on the
wall. It's a fork and a drawer
somewhere. There's, I think, this coffee
table with less stickers, a crappier couch, No bed.
You guys are staying on the couch.
I was like, I'm on the air mattress.
You guys get on the couch. It's nice.

(11:46):
I broke it in it. It's good.
Like literally, you guys are staying with Nick Miller and I
go, oh, by the way, this girl's coming out and I'm like Paris
Hilton somehow visiting me. So she's going to be here soon.
So I don't know, can I? Say something and I please don't
take this the wrong way. You were talking to her and you
were like, should I invite her? And obviously, because I
remember we're sitting at lunch Yeah and he's like, should I

(12:08):
like invite her? I like, I know this is like, I
don't want to be weird, but likethis is a fun thing that we have
going on. Like with, with the the Super
Bowl being there. Like I feel like he's like I, I
feel like it wouldn't be that weird.
And I, I'm going to give you a little bit of behind the scenes
was like, yes, obviously, but it's never going to work.
You know what I'm like. I know, Brian.
I'm like, I'm looking at you andI'm like, you should definitely

(12:31):
shoot your shot, Michael Jordan style you.
You miss all the shots. I'm going to shoot my shot.
And I'm like do it and I. Was the one like while we were
texting when he was like wondering if he should invite
me, dropping hints the entire day.
Like, yeah, I could drive there.I don't know like just if you
want unavailable. I.
Think I'm not? Doing anything.
I somehow ended up on Acousta TikTok.

(12:51):
You ever been on there? Acousta Talk.
Talk about autism. Yeah, So like I, yeah, hey, if
you're there too, I'm with you. That's neurodivergence.
Like I keep scrolling is like, here's the top five ways that
like you can't pick up on socialcues.
And I'm like watching it and I'mlike, just play about me.
Like what? You know what I mean?
Like what's going on? Because like, you could tell me

(13:14):
something like try to help me out.
And you're like, yeah, definitely invite her, man.
And I'm like, thanks. I will.
I was meaning to shoot your shot.
Yeah, honestly, I am all about that.
Like, obviously my wife is way hotter than I am.
You have to shoot your shot at the baddies.
They're not going to come find you.
She just looked at me. Though.

(13:35):
But but yeah. But in a sense, like you still
got to do it. You got to you got to reach out,
you got to have your part as thethe funny guy.
You got to be. You got to make.
That you got to. Be you just looked at me a
second ago and you're like beautiful women are intimidating
and as the two biggest dorks on earth are sitting next to you 2
on the throne and we're like, are they Wow, I've never what?

(13:56):
Mansplaining beautiful women. Outrageous.
Yeah, wow. They've never not been even
normal women. Actually, pretty much any other
human it's. Intimidating.
It's. Scary to me.
That's why I knew Bren was awesome though, like before, why
I felt so comfortable. I know it sounds dumb, but like
Leslie was nervous. You were nervous.
I was like anyone. And that's because it's me.
That's very similar to the soul I have in that way.

(14:17):
When Bren was like, I could tell, like you saying like she
said like maybe she could come. I'm like, dude, you should ask
her. It sounds like there's a real
chance. And if you should capitalize,
I'm like, I'm like, you should do that.
We're like kicking the dirt, like, no, there's no.
And I'm like, if there is, shootyour shot.
Yeah. And obviously it worked.
And then when Brendan was just like, yeah, no, no plan, don't

(14:37):
worry about it. Like super chill.
I was like, I'm going to like this person because that is I
don't need a plan. I don't need anything.
I'm all about just like, hey, I like the vibes of people hanging
out with people. Like I'm good.
I can do any. I'm like at a chameleon in a, in
a social setting. Yeah.
And so I was like, oh, no, I'm not nervous at all.
Anybody who's like, yeah, I'll drop everything and fly out
somewhere. I'm like, that's me also.

(14:59):
That's the kind of love I'm about.
Yeah, you know what I mean? So I like I got engaged in three
months. Oh yeah, you know what I mean.
Like I'm like I'm full scented all the time.
What? Wow, did you see the piercing?
Could we do a replay on that real quick?
I felt that's how my kids are, though.
They're like, they have such a skewed view of like standard

(15:21):
relationship. I think sometimes because
they're like, mom and dad were 12 when they got together.
We've been married in six days, you know, and you're like, you
should be patient. Like I'm trying to tell my
teenagers like, be patient. Don't worry about rushing into
this. You got your whole life ahead of
you. And they're like, haven't you
been married for 41 years? And I'm like.
I mean, yeah. You know, like I want that.

(15:41):
I'm like what does it? You know, it's so nice for kids,
though, to be able to look up and see their parents act like
see your parents actually love each other.
If your parents out there, there's nothing more beautiful.
There's no better gift you can give to your kid than being a
team as parents and showing by example like what love is.
So your kids don't even have to wonder.

(16:02):
They see it if it doesn't feel the way that like making a safe
environment for your home. And I've been at your guys's
house and like it's just when you go into a place and there's
just life and brightness and joyand like, you know, all the kids
are running around, they're all happy, go lucky and like, it's
just, you know, when there's like a really safe, cultured,
happy environment and you walk. No, no, no.
And like I walked into your guys's house and I was like, I

(16:24):
feel like I'm home. I'm like, this is nice.
So you know what I mean? Like and just you guys give that
vibe and like, like we've said, anyone that's on this podcast,
we genuinely fuck with and like I fuck with you guys Heavenly
And that's what heavenly heavenly heaven.
I saw Bryn for the new year the.Second out, Angel came down.
I have Batty brought on Tourette's, so like sometimes

(16:44):
I'll like see Bryn and like I literally was trying to say, you
know, happening or whatever, andI said it was like heavenly and
like sometimes I'll just say wife, I'll see her and I.
Just like bark it. You know you don't get that yet.
I know I can't. Oh, whoa.
Try to put a ring on it, man, You know, don't be, you don't
get to join my club. What's the What's that race
song? The.
Oh, the I was like a ring. I was like a ring.

(17:05):
I was like a ring. Yeah, however it goes.
That's what's so annoying to me and I keep saying.
Oh no, I vibe every. Time.
No. It pisses me off and every time
I see it I'm like. God.
Damn, I don't know. I don't know.
I have no idea. Why it?
Hits too close to home. Like I fucking hate that song
about rings and. Stupid.

(17:27):
I'm trying what even. Is a ring.
I don't. Know OK when someone does I'll
say this OK when someone deserves a ring that's fit to
like power a laser for a Bond villain, you know, like the Pink
Panther dime. I'm not saying that's what I'm
doing, but like I, I'm putting some thought into it, ladies and
gentlemen. Like they're like, you know, not
to say three months. Am I overthinking everything?

(17:53):
Am I overthinking? No, I was doing.
However you want to do it. I was homeless when I bought the
ring, just to be clear. I spent the part of the money
that I was saving to get into this apartment.
Leslie should not have said yes.She must have been a truth
teller like what is the truth or?
The truth. What did I say?
I have read to you have seen novels like a.
Prophet, she might be actually. A soothsayer is what you're

(18:16):
looking for. Yeah, that's the, that's the
proper terminology. Yeah, no, because where I was at
in my life at that time definitely was like trash
bottom. You know what I mean?
You. Were like Aladdin.
No, you're not trash. You're no, no St. rats.
I was a street rat. Oh yeah.
For Aladdin, yeah. Yes, he was like a ladder, the
diamond. Oh, no, you were a.
Yeah, you're a. You're a.
Yeah, I was a bum. You're a bum.

(18:36):
Yeah. I was just crying and that's why
I like it's funny because peoplewill be like, you know, because
sometimes I'll say like certain things and about like I'm I'm
going to do that or I want to help this or in there like I get
it is not easy to go from honestto God having nothing and trying
to get to something. Those moments.
It was, it was rough and I give a lot of credit to her because I

(18:58):
get stayed. It's hard to.
It is all thanks to me. It's hard to stay positive in
those moments, you know, But yeah, going from living in a car
to trying to get a place, you know what I mean, on your own
and just trying to save up a little bit of money.
I was 1890. He slept on a garbage mattress.
And I don't mean like, oh, the mattress sucked.
I mean like he slept on a mattress.
Like he pulled out of the dumpster.
He made out quite quite literally.

(19:19):
He folded in half somehow and stuck it in his Mazda Protege.
The Oscar. The couch, if you will.
Yeah. Yeah, I got like 25 tickets.
I had warrants out from my rest for like 7 years paying these
off. I got all these tickets for
basically having no inspection on my vehicle but I was sleeping
in my car video so all I had wasa car.
I didn't have a car, I wasn't onthe streets.

(19:39):
There's worse people than I was.I had a 2003 Mazda Protege it
didn't have. A seat.
So why are we even? Yeah, you were.
You basically had a motor home. No, so like obviously I wasn't
the worst it's ever been and butI was staying in that car and
like they every time I would getcaught, they were like, I don't
dislike, you know, police officers or anything like

(20:01):
something. This is not a negative thing
there, but like they just, they really didn't want that kind of
thing. Like I felt the the the push.
Like you. Don't have anything better to
do, you know what I mean? Yeah.
And like, so every time they would catch me, you know,
sleeping around somewhere in a parking lot, I'd get another
ticket. You had your car in a parking
lot? Yeah.
I know. Where else are you going to put
it? Yeah, that was a bit.

(20:23):
Doing a bit. But yeah, no, literally I got
like all these inspection and noinsurance tickets because
obviously I don't have insurance.
I was 18. Mario, she's over here like you.
Fucking you, almost. Got broken up with.
She's like you. You.
No, it's good. It took, but it took a long time

(20:44):
to like, you can see how people get themselves like stuck in a
situation where like you cannot pull yourself out.
Of that, Yeah. You couldn't get over this hump.
One police officer who pulled meover or did pull me over, but
caught me sleeping. OK.
And this guy, and it's the saddest thing that I've ever had
that I forgot his name. It's like the biggest regret of
my life that I actually have forgotten this guy's name.
The 1st place I got out of off the street was this guy's house.

(21:05):
He had a rent house. And instead of renting it out,
he said whatever you can pay is what you'll pay.
Wow. The right person, the right
time, the right person. Who gave up a little bit that
they could afford to give up, right?
That guy giving up somewhere. He was.
And I paid as much as I could, but it wasn't what that house
was worth. You know what I mean.

(21:26):
I wish I if he sees it, you knowme.
If maybe if you're hey you're a fan of podcast.
Recognize this man? You're pretty funny.
He's a cop in Pasadena in Houston in 2014.
I feel like someone that hears that story like pass it like
that's a very specific. It's very specific.
Yeah, that we. Yeah, that's how you find him.
I would love to like anybody from Pasadena, TX.
Anybody, huh. Anybody got to do the the a

(21:48):
really nice butter or uncle or something?
That's a cop. Yeah, guys, literally that.
I'd love to find that guy, tell him like he changed my life.
I. Mean it was a choice.
Yeah, it was a choice. I made a cognizant 1 like you
but it worked out. You saw the vision.
I saw the vision. I saw the.
I saw. The the you have the thing,

(22:09):
Simone. Yeah, like I I saw the future
and said it's gonna be good. Is that what?
So like it's gonna. Be a good egg.
I feel like we both described our situations when we met, both
of you. And so, like, was there that
element at all? Like you guys, you looking at
him, you looking at me like, oh,he's a bit of a fixer upper or
whatever. Yeah.
I thought it was really weird that you didn't sleep on your

(22:31):
bed and you just slept on a couch.
But like, I understood it because you explained to me
that's how you slept at work andlike, I was like, all right.
I mean OK, and then like at. Least it's not a fucking car,
dude. Yeah, What the fuck?
At least I had a couch. Why don't you make your Oscar
the couch and go whatever? Yeah, go sleep in the back of

(22:52):
your Corolla. I just.
Kind of felt the same. When you when.
Not you. You were like, I'm like, I'm
like over here. Like he's like, yeah, I sleep on
this couch most nights. I'm like, you don't have a bed
yet. And he's like, no.
And I was like. All right, Good job.
Good job. Yeah, yeah.
No, she's on the money. Like half the time you didn't

(23:12):
even have a blanket with you on the couch.
I get hot. Yeah, so your couch was just
covered in sweat and. Actually, he went a lot.
Of dead babies he had a what? Never have been alone babies.
Never. Those babies never got they
were, they were baby seeds. Yes, let's, let's let me.
No, no, he was not sacrificing human babies on the couch.

(23:37):
Fall is here, and I think for both of us, one of our favorite
parts of fall is all the cozy, comfy meals that we get to make.
We've been focusing more on cooking at home and being
healthier. And if you've been following me
for a while, you know that I didMario meal preps.
You know I love soup season. That's where HelloFresh comes
in. HelloFresh is America's number
one choice for home cooking and 91% of users say that they feel
healthier after eating HelloFresh, which is why it's

(23:59):
perfect for us. Their endlessly vast menu
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(24:22):
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Varies by planthatshellofresh.com from
slash Pretty funny. 10 FM to get10 free meals and a free item
for life. Thank you so much HelloFresh.

(24:42):
We can't wait to make more fall meals with you.
Goodbye Fresh. It's Cody's birthday which is
huge and we must celebrate that.Cody.
Oh, and returning. At 22, no.
Day over 47, we got you something on your birthday.
OK, Thank you. You guys are the 1st guest we've
had in the studio. We've obviously reconfigured it.

(25:03):
Anyways, I'm just going to toss you this.
It's not wrapped, but you can just figure it out as you go
there. Open it up.
I don't know what's in there. I have an idea of what this is.
Are you kidding? This certificate's in the
envelope. Babe.

(25:26):
Happy birthday dude. I'll cry for.
Him. Happy birthday.
This is now my most prized possession and I have six
children. We can.
I wanted to get we should have done the podcast yesterday so
you can order for the Cowboys game or something, Yeah.
Baby. I.
Think it's like a whole. Oh yeah, you got.

(25:47):
That the letter of authenticity.Yeah, we have to have it framed.
This guy because in. That was it.
No brain. There he was just like, shocked.
They're. So I got.
I got. He's so happy, right?
Now if you want to. Be the best gift I've ever
gotten. Do you want to process that?
I'll give. Leslie, her yes, Like yes,
process. Yeah, shut up.

(26:07):
I want to see my process. Just just think about it, enjoy
it, touch it. I don't know if he wore it.
We'll get it framed. I'm so nervous, OK?
OK, open your eyes. You're actually shitting my Dick
right now guys. I will actually cry.

(26:30):
What the fuck? You also have a little room.
Taylor Swift's. Eyes.
Not this, actually this very recently.
Like he should just touched it, smell it.
It smells like tear drops on a guitar, I swear to God.
I'm like actively. Craziest.
This is hanging up. I'm taking down mine and Cody's

(26:52):
wedding photo above our bed and I'm actually I love going to
hang this up Travis and Taylor above my bed instead got thank.
You if you're wondering if we'reactually friends.
Like this is the most personal. I've I have 5 brothers and
sisters. You have how many, 6?
I'm, no, I'm one of eight. One of eight, So you have 7, I

(27:13):
have 5. This is the most personal gift
I've. Ever I've ever received.
Me and Brynn and as you guys mayor may not have picked up by
now, like our love language is like gift giving, like big time.
And we compete like we don't fuck around.
Like so like you guys were coming out first guests on the
the podcast in the studio with us and we've you guys have been
our best friends for you guys have literally been they have

(27:34):
been eyewitnesses to our relationship since day one.
You guys mean the world to me and like, I don't know, it just
it's so cool having you guys here.
You guys met very early on, likeobviously in your lives and I
literally didn't think that it was even possible to, you know,
find love over the Internet or like whatever the case may be.
But the more time goes on and people meet online and whatever,

(27:56):
honestly, the more I think aboutit, hot take like meeting
online, actually you can kind offilter like exactly what?
The hell does that mean? Like you can really pick and
choose, win or lose, you know, like whoever you want.
Just went wrong with you Brian. Like how did your filter?
And that's all. Like how did Mario slip through
that filter? How did I get on your for you
page? You were on my For You page a

(28:16):
lot before I hit you up and I had developed quite a crush on
you and then when I saw that youwere literally begging for a
woman that was out of your league, I said.
It's my time to shine. Turns out and do I have the one
for you, but. Obviously you guys didn't meet
via TikTok like the same way we.Did no you guys had?
More of a classic love story, but I will say I noticed so many

(28:38):
similarities between our relationships. 100% we were
talking yesterday. I was everything.
I was everything you were sayingI was like, that is me and
Mario. That is girl, yes, insane.
What are the parallels? What were the discoveries?
Hot and. If yeah.
No, it was more just like the way that we have discussions and

(28:59):
especially like disagreements and then how we handle them are
flaws within that. Also within those situations.
I think also, just like both of you guys are very ADHD, very
like storytellers and like I know we both gobble that shit
up. Down there talking shit is what
we're getting into a little bit,but no.
That I saw and you and she can confirm this and I am I OK to

(29:23):
tell a little bit of what like you guys like the whole
experience. We OK, We went to a restaurant
that night. The first night you came out, we
flew out. We went to a hot dog place.
Don't know what it's. Called Dirt Dog Dirt Dog Fremont
Street. So fucking good.
And when I say that there's onlyI've never seen like I thought
me and less who were like almostcompletely unique, where day one

(29:46):
in love right like I I'm. You were locked, Yeah.
You know what I mean, A. 100%. We they met that day or
whatever. I mean, obviously no, but like
as like, hey, this is a, this isa date or whatever, right?
The first time that they, you know, an audience with an
audience. Yeah, yeah, with an audience.
But I remember watching you guyswalk in front of us, leaving

(30:07):
that hot dog place, and I told her I said they're going to get
married. It's the first time I've seen
what I saw. What we experience, what we
experienced first hand. In like another human being
relationship and I'm because I told you, I said I just don't.
I don't know. I don't.
Know what it? Is that but like what it because
I've been a part of lots of people's relationship, not I've

(30:29):
been a part I've had witness. I've been the third.
I've been a part of a lot of relationships.
And let me tell you, it was loveat first sight with you guys.
I've witnessed a lot of people in relationships and growing to
love one another. Yeah.
But it was the first time that Iwas like, oh, maybe we aren't
completely unique. Yeah.
Like it was so immediate. I just.
Maybe we're not better than everybody else.

(30:50):
We still are. No, I'm already engaged.
You guys are what? Living together?
You're. Engaged in No.
I was engaged before we lived together.
You work in your car. You were in your car.
Five years in now. You take your gears.
Well, engagement or what does? It show us living together.
If you drive him around, he. Drove me around.
I didn't have a that's. What I was about to say, I did

(31:11):
sleep in her parking lot a lot. So is she living with you every
time you took her on a date first somewhere you're missing.
You're in my bathroom right now.We're.
Missing the point. I'm not talking about the living
together. I'm talking about I put a ring
on it. Yeah, OK.
Where I am better than you because I was, you know, quick
and sorry. I just see the Internet.
Pressure in order to pressure you for fun.

(31:32):
To be clear, they're doing it right.
Take. Everybody's take?
Yes. I just love to play.
I do the same thing as me, playing into it like I don't
give up. Like it's really rough.
I don't need a ring, right? Now everyone's like, Mario, do
you feel pressure? Oh my God.
Like everyone's telling you whatto do with your life.
Oh my God. Like, it must be so rough.
Like getting harassed all the time with all these people

(31:53):
hitting you up, telling you to marry this beautiful, amazing
girl that you're with. That changed her the whole
trajectory of your life. Like God, you better lock that
down. Like what?
A bunch of assholes God guys. Like stop relentlessly,
endlessly telling me just like what?
Is it a power thing for you? Oh, for sure.
Like I know, I hope I don't needto lock down the baddie.

(32:14):
I can get any baddie I want. Oh no.
No, I love it. It's a realization of how little
power I have. Yeah.
Does that make sense? It's like, because if she was
like, if you don't marry me, I'll leave.
You'll be like OK. What were you going to go do?
Get on your knees and engage Get.
On your knees, huh? Yeah, he would.
He would beg. Oh yeah, I would beg.

(32:36):
I've. I've begged because, he said
well. Walking like a dog.
You guys have been together for 500 years.
Well, years. That's so.
Long, you're right. We're getting to the point where
we've known each other as long as we've we were.
We were like, not. We'll be at that point at like
37 and 38. I'm only 29 guys, it's fine.

(32:58):
We're a year apart. 9 we're morethan a year.
OK cuz you're 31 and I'm still in my 20s buddy so speak for
your fucking self 18. Months apart.
She's like pulling that card with Mario.
Yeah, cuz. She's way younger than I am.
I'm still in my 20s. I'm. 3.
Years young. I'm young and vibrant bitch.
And here you. Are I'm old Linda Griffith?
We've literally been hanging outfor the past what, 48 hours?

(33:18):
72 hours? It's been 3 days, yeah. 72.
Days. Yeah.
And like, I don't think we've taken a breath.
Like we honestly. Like seriously like we.
Just yapped until sleep. We we slept and then we woke up
this morning. We yapped all morning and we
just moved in here and kept yapping I guess.
Brand the worst alarm of all time.
Oh my. God, you set up seriously up.
He was just on the shitter, otherwise he would have.

(33:40):
Gone my phone, just he actually.Had to get out of bed and like,
come down and fix it. Yeah.
Yeah. Well.
My alarm had been going off for like 10-15 minutes before that
and I kept snoozing it and then I heard that and I was like.
I was up. How did I not hear I might have
been in the shower? Was that when I was in the
shower? I don't know.
I know that I I was he. Tripped to security.
I didn't hear, I didn't even know what happened.
I heard you get up so I was under the impression you were

(34:02):
outside. Oh, so you went to?
Oh, we know. Yeah.
No, I've been on the toilet for about 37.
Because that's what we've done every time, every morning since
I've been here. Yeah, me and you've woken up a
little earlier than the girls and we sit outside for.
I forgot to show off the alarm and so you opened it and it was
like the SWAT teams broke through the windows.
The whole house is on. And I just sat there at the
bottom of the stairs like a kid who did the wrong thing.

(34:24):
And Brendan came down. I was like, sorry, mom.
And she's like, it's fine. No, I.
Was going to get up anyways. The robes would be getting up,
but I well, I went to go down the stairs and I was like, I
wonder who's going to be waitingfor me to other like which one
of you was? Britain comes around the corner
like Sever Snape with a robe. Just like.
Flicks it around. Walking around like it's fine.

(34:45):
Walks back upstairs. We were talking about the gift
giving earlier and like we have it down to a science.
Like we like pride ourselves in our ability to not only get you
what you want, but analyze you to the point to where like we
know what you don't even know that you know what you want.
Does that make sense? You know what you've started.
Oh yeah, like. I've been giving you like very

(35:06):
entry level, so I've we. You are also such good.
Have been giving gifts but we weweren't sure on what level in
which we were going to go. Oh, I wanted to break.
The seal I think I bought you grill stuff for a new grill.
Yes, it's been like a slow leap,right?
Yeah. And then we got something for
Fortnite, the gaming and stuff like we're slowly, but you've so

(35:27):
you've set it off. Yeah, it's on now.
Y'all look forward to your next birthday, that's all I'm saying.
It better be good because my friendship is expensive.
Let. Me tell you I can be bought?
Yeah. What do you think is like the
number one way you 2 express love to each other cuz like you
2 are so similar April. Comments.
No, I mean, yeah, there's a lot of, OK, no low key, a lot of

(35:49):
roasting. Our love languages, we are very
similar in a lot of ways. And I think that's where we bump
heads sometimes because we are both so like passionate, like
intense kind of people. But our love languages are very
different. Like you are very much acts of
service like you like when I like do things for you, like,
and then also kind of physical touch.
But that's not even as much as like the acts of service.

(36:10):
I like presents, but more than presents.
I like when he tells me nice things and Cody like are like my
top is his bottom and his like top is my bottom.
Is this for the relationships that you guys are part of or?
For 6960. When you when you take it and
you flip it, no. So like we take his bottom

(36:32):
sometimes and that becomes my top and then that's.
And sometimes I talk him no if. You would have bought me a
$400.00 jersey and it was just is what it is.
It's nothing if I know that there wasn't thought in it.
That's how that's how gifts are for me.
Whereas and I'm this is going tostop and she's not materialistic
but like Leslie. No, it's a flowers I like.

(36:54):
I like a present. I like a shiny item it.
Was me I'm like I don't that doesn't matter as much to me as
like, hey, you know and when shesays like doing things for me,
it's more of like the simplicityof of like, hey, this morning I
was thinking of you and I set your coffee out.
It doesn't have to be like do these act like I?
Want you like Yeah, yeah, I wantmy own ass when?

(37:14):
People think of me, yeah, right.When I know you have been when I
was on your mind outside of likejust the needed part, it's like.
Yeah, well, and you're the you're the opposite in the sense
of I need constant like I need constant like affirmation and
like telling. Tell me I'm good.
Please tell me I'm like you're thinking about me.
You tell me you love me till I need to hear all those things.

(37:35):
Cody could not not give a shit less like, I actually go out of
my way to do it to him so often that it makes him uncomfortable
because I know he like, doesn't he like, like the I I threw up.
Like, that's him. When you when you give him a
genuine compliment and he doesn't care, It's more about
like, OK, yeah, you're saying these things like, what are you
doing a show? And I'm like, you just tell me
something. You bring me home a little treat
and I'm real happy. Like I'm.

(37:56):
Yeah. Oh yeah, you can gaslight Leslie
into loving you. Oh yeah, you got to prove it to
me. OK, I mean.
She just needs words. That's like.
Words are so easy, you know, words I will argue at times have
been harder. Yeah, 100%.
Especially when it's nothing to me.
And that's what I would give you.
Any advice for anybody who wantsto be married?
Forget yourself all the time. You've done a really, really

(38:18):
good job. And I think we've both tried
because at the beginning, when you start, when you start out in
a relationship, a lot of the times you see like, I'm loving
you in the way that I want to beloved.
And that doesn't always. So the other person's feeling
gaps because it's like, yeah, I see.
But you're not like doesn't do it for me.
So like actively, even though I don't personally give a shit
about this thing, like but you do.
So like let me make that conscious effort.

(38:38):
And I feel like we've both and like the last, I mean 12 years
been together like made that. Conscious effort.
Four years. We were very much so in love,
but showing it in ways that weren't perfect yet.
And in my opinion, now it's. Perfect.
We're so much more in love. We're so much more in love now.
Now it's like I know that beforeI was desperately trying to show
her I loved her in the way that I wanted to feel loved.

(39:01):
And when you realize like, and it does take time to get better
and perfect at it. And now I feel like I'm a
fantastic gift giver. Not because I was or like
naturally. It was something I worked on
constantly and. Like now, everybody in the
family will be like Cody gives the best presents.
If you look at the gifts that I gave like 1st anniversary or
birthday or whatever all the waythrough and like I always try
not to overspend either. Like I want my challenge to

(39:24):
myself is like obviously not thefirst.
So our first anniversary, my budget was whatever scraps we
had on the job site. That's what I built.
Like we had so little money that.
Our first wedding anniversary, the.
Scraps from the job site I was working on to make a coffee
shelf for her. To hang my coffee cups and
stuff. On SO like that was what?
I spent like a little bit of money.
We had to buy paint. We.

(39:44):
Paint had to upgrade night. Yeah, I had to upgrade the
budget a little bit. Yeah, But I always try to, like
I never try to blow it out of the water.
Isn't there like a rule for certain anniversaries?
You're supposed to do certain things?
Have you ever? Know you've never followed into
it. I honestly don't know what they
are. I know.
Like the first one is like paperand then it's like wood.
There's like different. Yeah, he can.
Yeah. Look it up.
For like 4 years we were too poor to care.

(40:06):
To even like, think about it. Yeah, our first four years of
our relationship was. Paper you can give her a piece
of piece of paper. Paper.
Well, what is like? How do you make?
What is kind of like I? Mean what is made from.
What is from wood? But like, what do you do?
How do you make a? I'm not artistic, so I couldn't
have made anything of. Paper say papers like the the
easiest one for me I just. Whip something.
Also, I don't know if that is the first.
One that's also something I didn't know existed, like I

(40:27):
didn't even realize was a thing until, like, well, after us
already being married. Yeah.
And by that point, I'm like, we've never done this before.
Ever did you find it? Yeah.
What are you guys ready for? This Yeah, let me hear like the
1st 10. For all our married people or
almost married people, wedding anniversary gifts by year hold.
On let's see, we'll we'll say yes or no to if we've ever done
it, OK. 1st paper. Second Cotton.

(40:48):
Wait, does that picture count aspaper?
Yeah, yeah. OK, year 4 I made Leslie.
And it has to be the first one does it?
Have to be like I'm just saying.Did I get all 10?
No. Our 10 There's one there's.
A lot there's way more than there's a lot there's more than
so like I'll just rapid fire first year paper, second cotton,
third leather. I don't even actually, let's

(41:08):
just throw it up there it is like that's.
Fourth fruit if. We did.
For or married for four years and you give me.
Oh. My God, towards the end.
Beating your ass up. Oh yeah, does it.
Get. Good.
Oh my God, 60th is you're. Telling me only 60 years to get
anything diamond, that's what I was.
Thinking it starts getting good it looks like.
I mean, 20th is China. I don't give a fuck about that.

(41:31):
Wax. Sorry, Wait.
Oh, you didn't get that? Wax Wax is for the 16th
anniversary. We've been married for 16.
Years What's the tell me the tell me the tell me the 11
because our eleven wedding anniversary is coming up with
#11. #11 seals. It looks like it's materials
that just gradually get more andmore expensive.
It starts with paper and ends with a diamond and it's like

(41:52):
cotton, leather, fruit, flowers,wood, candy.
And then the N ones are like coral, Pearl, the whole country
of China, Ruby, sapphire, gold. Your first diamond child.
Yeah, like what the fuck? Yeah, this.
Who came up with this? I don't give a shit, Lace.
I could get behind lace. Yo, I'll do all this in one.
I'm going to do all this shit inone year.
You know what I mean? Year one, that's.

(42:14):
What I'm going to do steal. That's so there's that's like
our upcoming. Anniversary.
There's colors for each year apparently also.
So I feel like when. You start doing this, aren't you
just following like a a a like directions and it heals less?
What are we doing? Yeah.
What? The.
Fuck. Did you did we get each other
anything for our first year anniversary?

(42:34):
I don't think we did. We went we went to Disneyland,
but there's not like. AI took you to Disneyland, but
I'm not. Like he said, you are
ungrateful, no. I First of all, I'm pretty sure
I took you second of all. Actually, I think you did.
What did we do it? Wasn't like an UN, like a like a
solid, like a tangible item. I don't think we did that.

(42:56):
We were with you guys. It was in LA in February for my
July. Yeah, we went to the well, we
went to the comedy club and thenwe went to yeah, I think we
yeah, we did go. She was saying a physical item.
Yeah, I yeah, it was more of like a you got.
You dig into a corn dog. There it is.
A what I. Mean corn dog at Disneyland.
Yeah. The Disneyland have you guys

(43:17):
been to? Disneyland.
I've never been to Disneyland. There's never been to
Disneyland. Disney World.
Did you not hear that we've had kids since we were 12?
They were also in LA for. The first time, nothing.
Yeah, that's true. So like LA is the farthest West
Coast you've been. Yes.
And then like this is like Nevada is like literally the
second. So I've been to California, to
my mom's from California, so I was there before, but it was
Santa Cruz is where we always went when we went to California,

(43:40):
which was 2 times my whole life.Yeah, we've pretty much been in.
Texas as adults As adults, therewas not a lot of travelling when
you have babies and. We've been.
We went to, we've been to Florida.
Yeah, we've been. And we've been on 2 cruises
together. Yeah.
It's so. Expensive.
And we didn't do anything. And then I can't imagine.
Well, and and we were talking this year was going to be the
year we were going to do Disney for Christmas.
Like we've been talking about doing a trip multiple.
Years old. Enough, our kids are old enough

(44:02):
and then which we were, we're very excited about.
We were trying to have another baby, but like, I got pregnant
and now I'm going to be very pregnant in December and that's
not, it's not really. You don't be like on It's a
small world. Just my contributing one more.
Well, I'm not like most airlines.
A lot of airlines won't let you fly after a certain gestation
without like a written consent from your doctor.
And because of who I am and likemy pregnancy history, which

(44:23):
there he's not he that man had given that to me and Nora
shouldn't responsibly would be avery bad doctor if he allowed me
to. Do that, yeah.
So. Watch all of December.
All of December through January,those.
Are the times. I'm careful.
I got to be really careful. Yeah.
So no Disney for us this year, but.
It's so. Cool.
Honestly though, like I think when we have kids I'm going to

(44:46):
wait until they're like older and he goes.
I might even just take them as adults.
Well, here, here. Hey, no, if you do the thing
like while you can, if you, if you like, you only have one kid,
kids like 2 and under or three and under get in for free.
So like, yeah, that's good. You can also take advantage and
like, yeah, the baby won't remember those memories, but
like you'll have. But there's a parent.
There's many moms like, you know, strapping their kids into

(45:08):
the strollers against their wills and like, hold, you know
what I mean? Like also.
Just going to watch them while Igo on Guardians of the Galaxy.
That's right, Dads, that's valid.
Dads with like, well, that was on their shoulders.
Like when all of our kids can experience it was when we were
going to go and also the youngest daughter.
Just turned. Yeah, just turned 6.
Was going to be like 6 years oldand we felt like that's a good

(45:29):
starting age so obviously and we've talked about this we might
do you know a vacation where we do have the baby there because
just because we're having another kid doesn't mean we're.
Trying to. I'm not going to put all my
other kids on hold or yeah, my other children.
That's not their problem. Just for December, obviously we
won't go, but we are very excited to go do something like
that. We're thinking about next
summer. Experiences with our kids are
very. Important but like so Speaking

(45:50):
of December and kids and whimsical shit you could do yes.
What? What I mean how old until they
stop believing? Because I still believe.
My so I, I'm one of those moms that even like our oldest
because we have two if you, if you don't know the lore, we have
two like older adopted kids or people that are watching that
are my siblings that we take care of.

(46:10):
So I have a 19 year old, a 15 year old, and then Cody and I
have twin 10 year olds, the six year old and then baby boy last
babies on the way. So large age gaps.
But even like my 19 and 15 year old, they'll come to me and be
like, so what's Santa getting usfor Christmas this year?
And I'm like, how the fuck am I supposed to know what Santa's
getting you? Do I look like Santa's?
I don't want to hear the why. Why would Santa tell me what

(46:31):
you're getting for Christmas? I'm that mom.
Like even if my kids decide likeno, I'm going to be like, what
are you dumb? You freaking ate.
Of course that was real. You think I can do all this?
This is my favorite. This is one of my favorite
things. That's true.
So you all see Cody has a very distinct, like white strip in
his beard. It's like a birthmark.
It's been there since he startedgrowing a beard.
It's actually the thing that grew first.

(46:53):
My kid Cody is Santa like Tim Allen like he is turning into
Santa and the next. Santa, my kids believe when they
are grown. Like the torch will be, you're
slowly. Turning into Santa.
My big belly. And they are kind of like they
are going to work at the North Pole.
That they. Yeah.
That is cool. They oh, that is they ride for
like they believe wholeheartedly.

(47:15):
Oh. My God, do they act a?
Secret like do they not tell? Oh no, they tell all their.
They tell all the friends. And I, if their friends come,
more like, yeah, that's my I am in the next Santa Claus.
That'll be which also makes me feel good grandparent too and
like you are full. Like they can tell their kids
that. Because redheads go full.
He's already getting more white hair because 31, but he'll be

(47:35):
full white because gingers go white.
Maybe we'll immediately I immediately was like, wait, so
like when you die, is that when people are going to be like he's
finally Santa, like he's like when you're like fully wipe,
like are you going to be buried in like a Santa robe?
And then like it's going to likeTim Allen disappear.
And then when everyone's going to be like who, who like Cody's

(47:57):
going to fly over? That's what I want now.
Now that is at my funeral. I want a Santa flying.
You need to like you need to deflate your body of a fake you
and so all your kids, they can watch you.
The open and Cath can disappear and then they hear the bells
fly. Well, and it also makes it it
also makes it fun because you have a lot of parents that
debate like I don't want to lie to my kids, like whether you do
Santa, whether you don't when you tell that's not my fucking

(48:19):
Santa. I don't care tonight, but but
like him telling. But Cody is Santa like it's not
a lot like it. I love he is Santa Claus in our
so that's a fun thing when they do eventually get older and I'm
sure like obviously every. Kid, even our older ones are
sold out to the. They're sold out to the bit in
front of all the kids, like, oh,they're committed.
They're like, yeah, I actually like my oldest Bryce was like,

(48:41):
yeah, I visited the North Pole once when they were giving him
like a little deal. Like I've been there with him.
How many other dads are being prepped right now?
Are you the only one? Or is there like a hole?
Is there like maybe 5 to 10 do you know?
Or are they like how is it up atthe North Pole?
Are they? Very like Santos.
Yeah, no. So the way it works.
Do you apply? No.
So we're you're chosen OK? Like I was touched at birth.

(49:02):
That's why I have this. Ohh so like Kris Kringle shows
up. Yeah, literally.
You're fresh out your mom. Like how?
He likes or freckles? Yeah, that's the white.
Touched by Santa I was chosen bySanta I was touched and it.
Started here. He like winked and shook his
nose. He winks and shakes his nose and
disappears. Was it a mall Santa?
But. So there's this Santa in the

(49:22):
hospital room, and I don't know where he came from.
He stumbled in. He touched you on the on the
chin. You're going to be Santa Claus.
Yeah. And that was that was, that was
what we tell my kids like I was.He pulled out of his ass.
He pulled out of his ass a few years ago and it's just it's
like, oh, that's so awesome. So my.
Kids were like my old, our twinswere like, I could tell.

(49:44):
Like they're fighting between kind of being smart enough to
know the truth and young enough to want to believe.
Just so right, this is what this.
Is the most crucial year. Yeah, so.
So I'm like, yeah, So I'm like, you know what, I could see it.
I could see them like debating in my head, like starting to
question like The Polar Express.They can either choose now to

(50:06):
believe until it's they don't want to anymore.
Yeah, they're smart at them now to put.
They want, I think they just want to believe.
Now that they believe because they want to do something that
they can to believe in. Yeah, right.
And that you're fully body. Yeah, we're committed to the.
Like the polar they're they're in their polar express years
where they're like, you know, you guys in the place where it's

(50:27):
like, and so you're like, I lovehow you both are just committed
to. It also buys us some grace with
the Elf on the Shelf. We have a stupid fucking Elf on
the Shelf. Fucking jolly that was.
The craziest thing? Your elf.
Done got drunk and fucked up with Barbies.
I was out. I go out of town one time I go
out of town one time I go out oftown for a fucking wedding

(50:47):
shower. I go out of town.
I shoot you not for 36 hours like I am gone this much time.
I'm like deal with the elf on because usually that's my thing.
Like I enjoy the elf. I do the elf.
I enjoy a stronger she. You hope I follow the elf.
Picks the things up too, like ifI'm going to do it, she'll be
like, go do this one. Like she'll give me like a
picture or yeah. I find herself on Pinterest.
I find the you know. Go do this while Yeah, I don't

(51:08):
want to do it tonight, but here's what we're going to do.
And we'll go do that. You're just full stage manager
of. Theatre Yeah 100.
Percent I want to do that so. Fucking and sometimes the elf is
doing like the absolute most yeah, and sometimes he's not and
that's OK. He gets tired.
But he he fucking sends me a video.
He sends me a video. There's I have like a TikTok on,
on my page, like me responding to him literally like whiskey,

(51:30):
like on its bottle, like he's inlike a doll bed, like with a
Barbie doll. And I'm like, what?
That my, my 6 year old daughter.Yeah, this was two years ago.
My so my daughter was 4 at the time, 3 or 4 years old.
She still talks about Jolly getting drunk with her Barbies.
Drunk with the Barbies, that is.So and I'm like, that's the
that's the one Jolly is like because when you get enough on

(51:51):
the shelf, like the family part of the like you get to you get
to name your elf my that is likeher impression like that is the
lasting impression in her brain of the fucking elf to grow up
and like one of her like core memories fucking inside out
style is gonna be. Also.
Jolly getting drunk and fucking the Barbies.
Or he was in trouble, I don't remember So the first night
that. She was Oh yeah, he got like a
DUI. Yeah, the first night she was

(52:11):
gone. He went party to her the second
night. Repercussions.
Yeah. You know, we're so he was a
congressman for a. Weekend.
Yeah, yeah, and he gets and so the.
Next day I like he faced repercussions so like that's.
True. That's and he shaped up and
like, you know, got it. Together so.
That's definitely. Not what about that?
Leslie made him write an. Apology to the kids.

(52:31):
Like when she got home, she was like.
No way. And I'm like, wrote an apology,
like, yeah, yeah, yeah, OK, no. It's got black screen on your
fucking Instagram, on your Instagram story.
Jolly shows up the next day. Children, I'm sorry for my
behavior last night. I did drink too much and the
Barbies wandered. It was like kitchen that's.
What I should have done is send her like influencer apology
videos I put up on YouTube. He's like sitting there with a
little green screen, you know what I mean?

(52:53):
And it's like in podcast My crime.
On the. Shelf.
Like that's why I. Want to get some fun with?
It. Oh no.
I will say like there's 2524 days of it, right?
He comes the day after Thanksgiving.
You wake up the day after Thanksgiving and he brings like
usually the first day he brings like a.
Christmas Book. The day after, no, the day after
fucking day after Thanksgiving month.
I did that to myself. Why did I do that?

(53:14):
But he brings like Christmas books like we like the day
things we are locked the fucking.
Wait, so he doing shit? Is the elf doing shit through
November? Oh yeah.
November. Some people wait till December
1st, so He comes for us the day for Thanksgiving.
And we kill half of it. Why don't they do like a demon
for Halloween? Like for the kids, like there's
like. A little.
They're not going to do that. What?
Do you like, no, like instead ofan elf you have like a little
like a report? Back to the devil or something.

(53:36):
Like, no, you have a little doll, and every night, that's
how. You get haunted.
Yeah. You're oh God, no.
This is like a that's my Shark Tank pitch.
Can you guys be the judges? Here's my Shark Tank
immediately. No, you know how children are if
you tell them there's a demon looking in on him all the time
and moving back. To the when they show like scary
movie ads on like TV and stuff it which this is my parent.

(53:58):
Listen, the world should not revolve around your kids right.
This is my parenting fucking haunt take.
Stop showing fucking horror movie like trailers during like
during things like football games and shit like that.
Word the whole family might be sitting around because then I'd
like. Family friendly.
During family at night time on things that your kids shouldn't
be watching anyway. Not everything's cater to

(54:18):
children fine, but on like family friendly programming or
what's allegedly supposed to be stop fucking showing horror
movies because it freaks me out and I'm constantly close your
eyes. That's great.
We. Went to The Conjuring.
Kids will have a nightmare. We went to The Conjuring last
rites and I've, we did the deathof a Unicorn.
We've talked about this in the podcast multiple times.
Yeah, stop taking your We go to The Conjuring last rites.
We're walking in and again I'm like Eddie Betty Bellies and my

(54:40):
I'm tripping balls and like I was like, did a baby just come
out? No, yeah, I mean.
Like a. One year old, A1 year old I'm.
Judging you a little bit as a. Power.
I was like, I don't give a shit.I'm judging you.
I don't give a shit. No, that's just.
What I don't like? Even like we could take the
superhero movies like in the theater that's again, this is
supposed to be like a family. Like it might be APG 13 movie

(55:01):
sure, but it's still like marketed as more of a family
friendly experience. Like why?
Yeah, why the fuck is this scaryass trailer?
Or Vizio TV right now during allof the month of weird, don't let
our kids watch and turn it on because.
Just on the TV, Like just on thestandard TV saving.
Screen they sold that space to these these shows.

(55:21):
And I get they need to advertiseand they're like but.
It's like during Halloween, you click your TV on and it's like
terrifier for. No, I'm not.
Yeah, and it's playing an ad in my living room.
And we don't do scary movies with the kids like I don't.
That's well, there's I don't think you know, especially like
my sons and daughter like they will tell you like that.
I feel he. Doesn't it?

(55:43):
It scares. Them.
Yeah, they're supposed to be scary.
They're designed for adults to scare adults much less.
Yeah, what the fuck? I'm freaking out.
I can barely watch scary movies sometimes and I'm fucking. 20
We're like a scary movie free household in general.
Like I'm a chicken shit. So like I can't really do scary
movies period. So my kids definitely aren't
like desensitized to that kind of thing.
So you're talking about bringinga demon into the house?

(56:04):
For. Halloween.
OK, so I would like my product is called instead of voodoo
dolls, it's called Voodoo Deck the Halls.
And now what we do is during Halloween, we have personalized
voodoo dolls that are small, about the size of an Elf on the
Shelf. And for 30 days of Halloween,
you can place this this voodoo doll out about during the night

(56:28):
and the kids can wake up and seewhat horrible mess the voodoo
doll got up to. You know, you get set up, I
think murder scenes and. The work on you can do is the
what? Here's the.
Is very dark. So what is the purpose of it?
Because the purpose of the off on the shelf is he goes back and
reports to Santa. So the demon would report back
to the death. Okay, okay, I'll.

(56:49):
Work on this. And on that one, I'm gonna be
out. I think I'm out.
I. Also think maybe whereas maybe I
allowed my Elf on the Shelf to get a DUI, Yeah, I do think that
is a little bit better than likemass murdering a family.
Oh, and being like, look what our doll did that we love.
Oh yeah, let's. Cheer, maybe we'll start there.
Well, he said, Cuz that's the first thing he said.

(57:10):
He's like, what did he get into?And then he said a murder scene.
Yeah, I'm like, oh. Well, yeah, it's right,
Halloween. It's gotta be.
See, Halloween is my house. I have like cutesy little ghosts
and pumpkins around. Like that's Halloween at my
house. That's a spooky.
'S Yeah, there's two different types of Halloween.
I am like the cutesy Halloween. Yeah, I like a pinky.
Like, yeah. Watching the Scary.
Movie Little Pumpkins. And glorifying the actions,

(57:33):
that's where I would drop on my children is like, hey, scary.
There's another, but those have to still be bad guys.
The scariest movie, the scariestmovie my kids have watched is
like Halloween Town. Yeah, like that's where that's
where we give. Whoa guys, you showed your kids
Halloween time. Oh.
My God I love Halloween. And chill out.
And hocus pocus, like that's like where they get, yeah.
What parts of movies really scared you as a kid?

(57:55):
Hocus Pocus gave me nightmares. As the the zombie guy, did he
scare you? No, it was the witch.
It was like the whole like, sacrifice, the virgin thing that
freaked me out as a kid, if I'm being honest with you.
But Nightmare Before Christmas was one of my favorite movies as
a child. But like, that movie freaks.
That movie freaks my kids out. Yeah.
Like that's how like that movie.They're like, Nah, we're good.
Yeah, I'm good. Yeah.
So. Corner.
I'm terrified. Oh, my kids aren't a lot like

(58:16):
they would have nightmares. Oh, Willy Wonka freaks you out,
River. Was it the oh?
See, I love that. I love that scene.
Willy Wonka got me. Yeah, The Shining, you know.
Yeah, the yeah. The Grunt The Ring was the first
scary movie I watched. So terrifying it's like a kid.
Like one of the only ones. And I watched it when my mom was
like, gone. I wasn't a kid.
I was, I was probably like 13. We weren't a lot to watch scary

(58:38):
movies. And I had a friend stay on.
My mom went out. Yeah, but even that freaked me
the fuck out. I was 11 when I watched
paranormal activity. No scarred me for life.
I didn't have a phone I was trying to text my mom from like
a messaging app and I was it waslike 1 AMI was in Oregon
visiting a friend and I was likemom I don't I can't sleep when

(58:59):
we watch the scary movie. I'm so sorry.
I don't and the number replies. I don't know you.
I was like mom, I know I'm texting from like an app like
this is Brynn though I promise and reply I don't know who you
are. Please stop texting this number.
I wake up the next morning and Irealize it wasn't actually her
fucking number and I was textingsome random stranger at like
1:00 in the morning. But you're like terrorizing,
terrorizing this person. Yeah, you thought you woke up in
a different reality. I was going in on them too.

(59:21):
I was like, Mom, your name is Roslyn.
I know you. Please, it's your daughter.
So fucking traumatic. Just telling all your mom's
personal, your Social Security numbers, this you're that you
live at this address. Actually, yeah, I am.
Your mom. Yeah.
What's the phone number? Prove it.
Yeah. Prove it.
Address. Yeah.
Credit card, credit. CVC on the back, dumbass.
Yeah. No.
It's very scary, Bryn. Yes.

(59:41):
Very being. A person and like having this
random number that's like very obviously a child texting you in
the morning. I'd be like, I'm so sorry you're
going through this. Like be kind about.
They were just being mean to me and I was like sobbing and my
friend. It could have been somebody on
their deathbed. You don't even know where they
were. They could.
Have just told first like I'm not putting up with this
anymore. If you got text from a random

(01:00:03):
number back in like 2009 at like1:00 in the morning crying.
That was her. I will say this, when I watched
Paranormal Activity I was very scared for a few nights but it
didn't leave a lasting fear in me.
I think you. Get to a certain age that you
can, you can like level it out. That's why for me it's like
absolutely not. You know, for young kids where

(01:00:27):
you don't know the reality and like the world still feels like
anything's possible. Like if you could still believe
that I'm Santa Claus, I'm not going to try and tell you that,
oh, all these other things are not true and stuff.
That's a really good point. That's until my kid is, like,
old enough to, like, understand the concept of, like, reality
and not reality. And like, there are some things
that go on in movies, like, hey,I believe in some of that stuff,
like, you know, that these scarymovies talk about, but that's a

(01:00:50):
choice they can make or whatever.
Yeah. Until then, yeah.
It's fun. Halloween compartment trick or
treat. Yeah.
Yeah. The fun part like the Casper,
the Friendly Ghosts, all the funstuff that you can do in
Halloween. That is where we and because we
do like, we do decorate the house like Leslie bought
candles. Like a little floating candles.
I was, I was influenced. On TikTok about them, little

(01:01:11):
floating candles got bats everywhere, little ghosts
everywhere. The kids love it.
They pick out there. They'll probably wear 5 or 6
costumes. You know, like I.
Ordered Rory a costume like. Two months and other size.
Because she wanted to be if you wanted to be one of the
characters from Huntrix from theK pop the miners movie.
And as big as that movie is, like the costumes, at least when
I was looking at them, aren't like readily available yet.

(01:01:32):
Like I couldn't just like go to Walmart and pick one up, which
is wild y'all. I guess they didn't know that
movie was going to be is wildly fucking the biggest movie that
Netflix has ever had ever. Bought for 20 million by the
way. I still haven't.
From Sony, we. Do y'all need to watch listen
watch K pop? Sony made that movie, OK,
completely made it, paid all themoney, made the movie, and then
decided it was going to be so bad that they wanted to scrap

(01:01:53):
it. The people yearn.
For then they just, so then theydid, they just sent it out to,
to streaming streaming service like who wants to buy it?
Netflix picked it up for $20 million, and they're estimated
to make $2 billion. On this movie.
Yeah, it's called an original story.
That's. With incredible music, with
incredible characters, with beautiful animation, beautiful
storyline. Cannot recommend the movie

(01:02:14):
enough if you are one of the like two people on fucking
earth. Apparently Bryn Mawr over here.
Haven't seen it yet. We watched like the.
First little bit because we werebabysitting.
Oh, yeah, it's so good. We and then we went to watch it
again. We fell asleep.
It wasn't like bad. It was, it was.
It's very reminiscent of like the Across the Spider verse,
like that Sony. Animation.
Sony Animation is you got to. See the Puss in Boots?

(01:02:34):
Oh my God, I have not watched that.
Oh, yeah, Do not come at me. You have not seen The Last Wish.
It is so good, dude, it's so good.
You've got to watch Puzzle Boots.
The last. I watch.
I see most kids movies because Ihave.
It's just. Genuinely good.
It's just a good movie. That's how I feel about like
sometimes. Like I'm not the like Leslie's
more of the I love watching the movies with the kids of the day.

(01:02:55):
Like we do movie nights and stuff, but I have to sit there
and force myself because I feel like most kids movies I
couldn't. I do not get enjoyment out of.
I like watching animated movies,but it's got to be a pretty
decent. I can't just watch animated
stuff. All the time were your.
Kids ever into blippy? No, Blippy.
We didn't do blippy in my house because I thought he was
annoying. So I no offense, Blippy, you're
in your bag. Dog power to you was.

(01:03:15):
His fifth grade teacher. You're lying.
Roy loved bubble Guppies. My kids watch shows like PJ
Masks. Like my boys really love PJ
Masks. They're really in a Power
Rangers. With you talking about super,
why is that what it's called? Things like that.
A lot of cases like those kinds of shows and those kinds of
literal educators can teach a child better than the parent

(01:03:36):
can. A lot of the times 100%.
Yeah. So it's like utilize that and
that is a positive thing. But then again and you see like
Coco melon and it's like that isway too over stimulating for a
child that isn't. It's one of those create a
nightmare. No, it's not.
It's one of those things that like we are a household that my
TV is on all day, but it's always like background like my
TV, like when my kids were I, all my kids are in school now,

(01:03:57):
but I was a stay at home mom andI had little ones at home with
me all the time. He worked full time.
Like it just me and these kids, like we had TV on going all day.
Like I had a movie playing. I had something going in the
background that was family friendly, but before kids too,
like I needed the background noise.
Always have it on. And then sometimes then I would
catch my kids and like they would sit and like watch a
little bit of the movie and they'd be like, all right, I'm
over it. Let me go play some toys and,
like, do this. So yeah.

(01:04:18):
I just think like. It's have limits on their phones
like they only are allowed to have like X amount of like time
on their phones. Especially like my little bitty
one. Like my 10 year olds per day you
only. Tell you I lock that thing down.
Their phones are bricks. They don't have Internet access.
They don't have app access. They get to play games they
like. We have to approve like every
time they download an app like Iget or try to, I get a
notification that's like hey approve or disapprove like I.

(01:04:39):
Can't go on Google. Yeah, they don't have access.
To Google because I think it's so dangerous, but also at the
same time, there has to be a conscious effort from in my
like, in my opinion, as a parent, like I want to, to give
my children the tools that are important and needed and to
learn for this. Society and to be able to
socialize with their friends andlike you can text and call your
friends they FaceTime their friends in the safest way and

(01:05:00):
they're my but my 6 year old does not have a phone but like
when my 10 year olds they're getting to the point.
Finally I got one for Christmas this past year because they were
starting to do things. It was the first time, like he
had went and dropped them off atlike a little Halloween party at
a friend's house. And it was the first time that
we dropped and and went, yeah. And I was like.
They need phones. That's literally that was like
anxiety, like the anxiety. They don't feel a lovely.

(01:05:22):
It was a lovely family. Like we adore them.
We trust them. They had A and they just want to
be. But I don't want to be relying
on another adult if my child needs me and they ever have to
feel uncomfortable to like ask or they can privately like, hey,
I'm not having a good time. You never.
Know like if another kids going to do something.
To no, no, no, so. There's always that.
And then they did like a thing at the high school and they were
up at the high school without me.
They were in a musical at like my kids are in elementary.

(01:05:43):
They did a musical at the high school in town, and they were
backstage during the show. I can't go back.
I decided every rehearsal with them.
But, like, during. I can't be back there with you.
Yeah. And there's a bunch of high
school. And they were all very sweet
kids. And I'm like, if you have a
problem, you need to be able to fucking get a hold of me and,
like, know what's going on. So they got phones for
Christmas. Your boys are 10.
They just turned. They just turned 10.
People are looking at kids now, you know what I mean?

(01:06:04):
Like, how could they do these dances?
How can they say these things? What does it mean?
Back in my day, we cranked that.I was just, we cranked that
soldier boy. That was so much.
That's so much. For we pop locked and dropped
it. We a babyed, we like what the
fuck? Well, you guys are.
Now ask me. Whip you had all the YouTube rap
you're from Houston, the choppedand screwed music you.

(01:06:26):
Guys still in high school for women nae.
Nae, see, I was freshly out of high school and like.
When did you when that be the dad I was still?
In high school for now. We weren't.
Still doing that? Oh.
And everybody was saying Yolo, yeah.
Yolo. Yolo.
Worse, What's your go to karaokesong?
Is it a country? With a real Slim Shady, please
stand up. My mom is on your lips, my mum
is on your lips. And if I'm lucky, you might just

(01:06:46):
give it a little kiss. Not the message that we
delivered a little. Kiss and we expect them to not
know what a woman's clitoris is of.
Course they're going to know what intercourse is by the time
they at 4th grade. They have the Discovery Channel,
don't they? We're nothing but mammals.
Well, we'll sound to us. Or Campbells and animals cut
other people open like antelomes.
Antelopes. But if we can have animals in
antelopes and there's no reason that a man and another man
cantelope. But if you feel like I feel I

(01:07:08):
got the antidote, women, wave your pantyhose.
Sing the chorus. I'm Slim Shady.
Yes, I'm the real shady. Great question.
That's my go to. Just to wrap up the conversation
we were just having that would therefore.
Know when you're going to do something that will, like,
drastically affect a child's life.
That's something really cool. Yeah.
It's like, hey, you might be theperson that they see that maybe

(01:07:30):
they've they've they've struggled with this side or
another with their parent or at school and they feel like nobody
has understood them or is like them or something.
You never know when, like you might be the person that when
you like you said, you treat them with like all this respect
and things like that, that that might be like.
There's so many things from my childhood I still remember to

(01:07:50):
this thing distinct. I still very and I like.
Shapes you into. Yeah, it really does.
And like, you're literally on a podcast talking about all this
and just it's absorbing like into, is it not?
He's got a working. Boy.
Baby boy can't hear us now. Yeah, he has ears.
His ears work. So like baby will at this point
recognize people's voices. Like he'll recognize my voice

(01:08:14):
because babies can't see very well when they're first born.
Like they're depth perception, Like they don't see like black
and white. It's.
Just like blobs. It's blobs they see like
abstract shapes and then it likegradually gets better throughout
the weeks and months of their first year of life.
But voices they hear and they'llbe distinct, like Cody talking
to him. I told my kids the other day I
was like, if you talk, come talkto baby.
Like he'll know your voice when he and he'll feel comfortable

(01:08:35):
with you. So they love it.
They'll come in like, okay, you don't be that close, guys, calm
down. Yeah, So baby, he's hello.
He's sucking all. Hey bro.
You're gonna play Fortnite with me?
Yeah, literally just like so I need you to start studying the
different maps and configurations for our line
when. We work on that bigger dexterity
while you're in there. Yeah, we gotta start working on
some of these things, yeah. That's right.

(01:08:56):
It's really sweet. Yes, he is absorbing all that
information right now. So very fun.
I think when you just you, you guys have built such a
camaraderie with your family andit's contagious and like being
friends with you guys and hanging out with you guys and
being able to pick your guys's brains and talk to you guys and
hang out like literally just like this.
It's, it's the greatest gift. Like really just like having
just such awesome, amazing friends, friendships.

(01:09:18):
We're we're just so glad that you guys I've been holding back
on purpose whole fucking time. I.
Was like no the. Burp it was not too I'm not
getting emotional. There was like I've GERD gastral
like acetic acid. My heart burns but not yearns.
Time flies when you're having fun.
We got to get, we got we have flight to catch guys and all
that. Oh yeah, I got to get my over,

(01:09:38):
Yeah. One more thing, one more thing.
So imagine, OK, it's the 29th, it's two days from trick or
treating, and your kids wake up and they come downstairs and
it's a transparent ghosting cast.
Oh my God. OK, on the podcast again.
Yeah, love you, you guys. You put the Casper in the

(01:09:59):
cabinet and then it's hard to find and then we're why is
everyone getting? Until next time, make sure I'm
not. Going to say it follow.
These were pretty funny. Yeah.
OK, bye guys. I'll say.
That too. Follow.
Follow them, they're pretty funny.

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