#7: Getting a Dog, Coachella Game Plan & Our Worst Fan Interactions

'Twas the day before Coachella & all through our house...many creatures were stirring (Smokes & Cosmo). Welcome to Episode 7! Our furry co-hosts are back to help us answer some more hard hitting questions like, "what animal would we domesticate?" Check back in next week to see how our Coachella experience really went, but please enjoy our pre-festival predictions :)

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Episode Transcript

(00:03):
I'm chasing a dose, do I look? Do I look?
Like him? Like him like.
Him on top of skinning my knee, I also.
You skinned your knee. Yeah.
Oh no. Oh my God.
Oh my God. It was on the edge of the table
and it really. Bad Ted?

(00:24):
I don't know. But I also got a blister we're.
Gonna have to monitor it. Literally right before we left
for Coachella I have a fucking giant blister.
We have to make sure you don't have gangrene, we have to make
sure we don't have to take you in.
Hopefully we won't have to get rid of the leg.
Hopefully you don't have any tattoos, do you?
Below the knee, That's what I'd be more concerned about.
MO concerned. About that's what I'd be more
concerned about that's. What I'd be more concerned

(00:45):
about? Also if you look at my face and
it's just blushy as all hell. I was going to say, your whole
face looks chapped. It's because I just waxed my
face. Because yeah, it looks like I we
got in a fistfight or something.What the What's going on?
No. Look at your eye.
Well, yeah, my eyebrows are red and so is my mustache.

(01:06):
Did you fight crime all night? What is going on?
Do you have something to tell me?
You'll never know. You look so good without makeup.
My little blank Word document look at.
Yeah, everyone take a good look.Thank you.
Look how beautiful you look. I simply did not want to get
ready for this at all because we're about to drive all the way
to Coachella so. Yes.
Which we'll get into. We're clicking Yeah.
Should we just roll the We're just go roll the intro, roll the

(01:28):
intro, roll the intro? Welcome back to the Pretty Funny
Podcast. I'm Bryn.
And I'm Mario, thanks for havingus.
We have. Having me.

(01:49):
So much to discuss and I'm so excited.
OK. 'Cause this weekend was like the
funnest, Yeah. It was such a good time.
It was a really good. Time We spent the weekend in San
Diego with family and friends celebrating birthdays and it was
just wonderful. It was a great time.
San Diego is such a slept on town.
Or maybe it's not. Maybe in I don't.

(02:10):
Know it's very well popularized,but like for me personally,
that's only like my third or fourth time maybe going to San
Diego. That was my second time going to
San Diego. Yeah, and it's so fun.
It's like a California version of Seattle.
I'd say it's like a watered downversion of Nashville I.
Don't want to go to Nashville. I've never been.
Nashville is like right outside the Predator stadium, right?

(02:32):
So there's like that strip of all the bars and live
entertainment and clubs and all that shit, and then people will
like, finish watching the hockeygame.
The Predators. The Nashville Predators.
It's called the Predators, yeah.Yikes, it's like a or.
Wait, no, what the? Can you Google that?
Yeah, you can. I think they are the predators.
It's like a Sabre. Nashville.
What are they? Hockey.
Yeah, it's like a Sabre tooth tiger.

(02:53):
I think is the Nashville hockey is the Predators.
Yeah, it's like a Sabre tooth tiger.
It's what's this? It's Diego from fucking Ice Age.
You know what I'm talking about.Yeah, that's the Tiger.
They get done for the night, right?
And then they just flood the street of Nashville and it's
just all these bars and gloves. And like when we were there,
there was a Padres game, yes. And then that got done in a

(03:16):
bunch of Padres fans. And I can't remember who they
were playing, but they all came to the.
Gaslamp District, which is like the.
Mainly. Going out downtown area in San
Diego. I fucking love it there.
It's so much fun. There's so many cool bars, like
like there was an empty bar. You cannot make this up.
It was like Friday night and we'd been there before and it

(03:36):
was empty and there was there was like darts and there was a
screen where you can hit golf balls into it.
Like there was like a super. Cool.
No, Yeah, last weekend. Yeah, last when we went in July.
Wait, no, that was this weekend.The place where?
We played bar, we walked by it. Oh, and there was just, we
walked by it 'cause we were going to another bar.

(03:57):
And I saw and I was like, Oh my God, that was the funnest bar
ever. They have all these games and
stuff. Whatever.
Yeah. And I'm looking and there was no
one in there. And I was like, like, you know
what I mean? That's literally.
Just like it's kind of like Daveand Buster's, but like, nicer
and like, not like, yeah, as many games.
It's just like a bar with a witha few really high quality games.
But like why I feel like it slept on is while we were there,

(04:17):
I feel like we were getting intoeverywhere super quick.
Yeah, it's not. Maybe we be talking about it.
Like play a cover, do you? No, there was a $10 cover OK at
I forget what place I was. Ever have to pay the?
Trailer park I think was called the trailer park or something.
OK, I don't know. Yeah, there was such.
There was a pickleball court. We go to this one bar.

(04:38):
There was a pickle. There's an espresso martini
machine. There was.
You can shoot the baskets like Dave and Buster's.
There was a pickleball court. There were darts.
We're whores. For that we love.
Oh my God, that's for my birthday last year.
Mario got me got me a dart. Board yeah, we play all the.
Time that I love playing with. And one of our cats, Cosmo, OH.
My God, how long have you been here?

(04:58):
Smokes is sitting behind him right now.
My. God, I got.
But Cosmo is literally obsessed with the darts and when we go to
play darts he literally just like runs as like full speed
bullet train little cat just. What?
Yeah, he freaks out every time Iplay with the darts.
He thinks the darts are like a fucking bird or a big bug or
something. Yeah, so he just like he.
Wants to get them his. Prey Dr. goes crazy.

(05:20):
I was training your cats. I tried.
Cosmo, you were training Cosmo. Smokes.
Smokes will never listen. No, they're like, the cats are
cool, but they don't give a fuckat all.
They don't give. A shit more so than smokes.
Like if you tell Cosmo to do something, he'll do it 9 times
out of 10. I'd consider myself a cat person
now, Like I am definitely a cat person.

(05:41):
I get it. I love the cats.
Look at they love me and we havea great time together.
However Jesus, so much hair, so much hair, right?
He's such. A shedding season.
It's springtime. The difference between cats and
dogs I don't like is dogs you can like train.
I know you can train cats, I know.
And I was like. I didn't though.

(06:01):
In comparison to dogs though, like you can train a dog to do
things in a day, you know what Imean?
You can really lock in a lot of stuff within a day, within a
week for sure. Like the cats, they don't give a
shit and they I mean. Cosmo understands like up and
like down and like stop. I'm not saying they're not
capable of doing it. You'll notice that I said they
don't give a shit. Yeah, because they're smart

(06:22):
enough. Oh, they're probably way I
would. I would assume cats are way
smarter than dogs. Yeah, like way fucking smarter.
Dingus. They domesticated themselves.
I know. Did you know that?
Yeah, we were talking about this.
The other. Day the meows.
The noises they make were just emulating humans.
Yeah, they wanted to make it sound like babies crying.
Crazy, crazy and look at them look at them.
I'm like going full full doctor evil right now.

(06:44):
Look at this. You got anything you want to
say? Oh my God, So sorry about that.
You. Guys had to hear that.
I didn't know that's who he supported.
Imagine your pets can talk in. The first thing it says is like,
make Petco great again. And then you're like, what do

(07:06):
you do? What do you do?
What do you do? You should be so happy that
animals can't. Talk, That's wait, my roommate
in college, she had a little like one of those little white
crusty dogs. RIP Lola fucking loved that dog.
She hated. Men.
Oh, the little dog. Yeah, I hate those little teens.
No, she was a good dog. She really?
Was I know, but you know those dogs that people just keep alive
and they're literally like, oh, he's blind and deaf and he can't

(07:30):
feel anything and his back legs don't work but boy does he like
to stare at the wall and bark atnothing.
Like that dog was on Noah's Ark.That dog's seen some shit.
I'm telling you right now, if I'm ever at that point, you know
what I mean? I'm 125 and the grandkids, the
great, great grandkids are feeding me pudding and it just
falling and I'm just there, put me down, put me down, please.

(07:56):
Put me down, please. Yeah, please put me down.
Oh my God. In dog years, some of these dogs
are like 300 years old. They're like Old Testament, Old
and people. Just really, because that means
how old would a dog have to? A dog would have to get to like
50 to be 300 years old. Right, Yeah, how do look up 3?
100. Oh, dog years versus cat years.
By 7 dog. Years versus.

(08:16):
Cat years The dog would have to get to 42 human years to be 300
years old. Really.
Yeah. Wait.
OK. How long?
How long would a dog have to be alive to be 100 years old?
See, This is why I want to. My laptop's not charged.
My laptop's not. Charged it would have to be 100
/ 7. That's how it works, yeah, just
times 7. 14. A 14 year old dog is 100 years

(08:39):
old. Yeah, I know some of you
watching have a 14 year old plusdog that you're probably staring
at nothing right now, but. I also I'm gonna be like that.
If either of my cats get to thatpoint, I'm gonna keep them
around. What's cat ears?
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's look at.
Cat ears How old are your cats? Smoked Cosmos.

(09:00):
Birthdays on Sunday. Calm down, we're not gonna be
here. I know your.
Cat's birthday's on 4/20. Yeah.
Why are we? Why did you not know that?
I did not know that. Yeah, Cosmo's birthday's on 4.
20 on 4/20. Yeah, and smokes is September
1st. Wait, do they have like little?
Don't they have little like edibles for like pets?
Well, treats. Yeah, but don't they have like

(09:22):
little like CBD? I'm being dead serious.
You should. OK, hold on.
Probably Why is the episode where we want to Google the most
things my laptop said. A cat's first year of life is
wonderfully equivalent to 15 human years.
And the second year is roughly. 24 human years.
So after that each additional cat year adds about four human
years. So a 2 year old cat is
approximate approximately 24 years.

(09:45):
That's such a crazy jump so. Smokes is.
That's why I wanted to guess. I wanted to guess how old your
cats are because I don't know. They give the vibes that they're
like in their 30s. They give like they're in their
30s vibes. So you said that one year
they're 15 years old, two years they're 24 years old.

(10:06):
I know Cosmo is younger than smokes so I'm going to say
smokes 4 years old and Cosmo 3 years old.
No, no, I got smokes in 2019. How old is smokes?
He's like 5 1/2. He's 5 1/2 years old.
How old is that in cat ears? Between 36 and 40, so like. 30
Oh, so he is in his 30s, his late 30s and Cosmos in his 30s.

(10:31):
Cosmo turns 5 on Sunday, so he'll be 36.
We are literally. Cosmo very much gives 36 year
old. That's what I was saying.
They do give like they're in their 30s for sure.
They they're like a little olderthan me, but that's the energy
they give. Yeah.
Oh, that's so crazy. Do you think they think they
like run the house because they're the oldest 100?
Percent like they're the parents.
No, they like they're. I cannot stand them sometimes.

(10:52):
It's so annoying. Aren't they the cats?
Yeah. It's funny because I call them
brothers and I also call them lovers, so it's like they are
kind of just. Like well, they do help each
other. Yeah, but they're not like
technically related. Wait, I need to move the
laundry. We take a two second break so I
can move the laundry. Yeah, OK, hold on.
Sorry. I got to move the laundry.
It's. Been a long time since you came
around. Been a long time, but I'm back

(11:16):
in town this time. I'm not leaving without you.
You taste like whiskey when you kiss me.
I'll give anything again to be your baby doll this time.
I'm not leaving without you. Lady Gaga.

(11:37):
He said sit back down where you belong, in the corner of my bar
with your high heels on. Sit back down on the couch where
we made love the first time. And you said to me something,
something about this place. I'm so excited to see Lady Gaga.

(11:59):
I wish you were just going to besinging that at.
Coach, you're going to Coachella's.
I'm already wearing my Green Dayshirt.
I'm wearing my Coachella sweatshirt.
I'm just excited to see Green Day.
I thought Gorillas was playing. Oh my God, this was the funniest
fucking thing. Holy shit.
We were driving down to San Diego talking about Coachella
and how excited we are, and I was trying to explain to him
what Coachella's like, which I also would like to do here in a

(12:20):
minute. I'm just want to throw this out
there too. I've been to three concerts, I
think my whole life. No festivals, right?
No, never been to a festival. I went to Big and Rich when I
was in high school because my girlfriend was like super in the
country and then I saw you've. Had a girlfriend before.
I saw Lou. Jesus Christ.
I saw Lil Dicky at Club La Villain Panama City Beach.

(12:41):
So jealous for $20. Wait, I'm saying I'm jealous but
we've seen Lil Dicky together. I know.
And then we were at the Hollywood Bowl in like Snoop
Dogg, Post Malone, couple other people, Little Dicky couple
people performed stand up. So that kind of counted like a
as a concert. Yeah.
But like, those are the only concerts I've ever been to.
Billy Joel. Billy Joel.

(13:01):
What the fuck? Oh my God, Billy.
Billy. Billy.
I'm sorry. Billy.
Billy, I know you're a huge fan of the podcast.
I'm so sorry. I cannot believe I forgot that.
Yeah, he listens weekly. He's on the YouTube live
premieres with us. I can't believe you would do
that to. Yeah, I'm so sorry, Billy Joel.
I was a very iconic singer at T-Mobile Park.
That was such a beautiful country.
That was a really I had such a good time.

(13:22):
I cried a lot because I took a little Eddie Belly and me and
your mom were listening to Vienna together, just crying to
each other. I was still in the military, so
like, I remember I couldn't participate.
And then you and my mom were just listening to Billy Joel
crying in each other's arms. No, literally just like holding
each other the whole time just like that.
Was like one of the first times you guys actually met too.

(13:45):
Yeah, Like, literally yeah. Yeah, you guys got along very
great. No, but on our way to San Diego,
we were talking about Coachella and I was telling him the lineup
because he knew the headliners. You knew Lady Gaga, Green Day
and Post Malone. Yeah.
And which? I'm very excited for.
I was like, oh, I need to go seebecause I needed to wear my mind
myself. Also, who else was in the
lineup? And I wanted to do the schedule
thing on your phone where you can like plan out your days that

(14:06):
you're there and everything. She's the planner.
I am, if we haven't gathered, but I was reading off the names
and I was like Glorilla and Mario was like oh what?
Oh my God. I thought you mispronounced
gorilla. It was like going on for like 15
minutes of Mario being like, well, we have to make sure we
see Glorilla. You know, like it's the week
before you go to a concert, so we're playing all the all the
music. Yeah.

(14:26):
And so we were playing Post Malone, We're playing this.
And I was like, oh, we have to play some glorilla.
And at that point, for some reason, I had adapted.
That gorilla was glorilla. Yeah.
And then, yeah, I put on. You were like, oh, you were
like, oh, can you put on feel good ink?
Yeah. And I literally died laughing, I
think. Yeah, I've never giggled.
So I mean no offense to Glorilla.
I mean, she's cool. Too, I just, I was just

(14:47):
accepting the fact that Mario was like super excited to see
Glorilla. I was like, all right, you, you.
I like some of her music. I wanted to ask you a question
so you could ask me the question.
Yes. Oh my God, is it happening?
Yes, if. You could domesticate one wild
animal, wouldn't it be? Do you want me to go first?
I thought you were proposing to me, goddamnit.
Right now, yeah, at 8:00 in the morning.

(15:09):
Yeah, it is 1145. I'm pretty sure you'd be upset
with me because. With my blotchy face.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably because I know that's a
big no no to propose when your girlfriend looks like Garbo.
Hey now. I'm not saying right now, I'm
not saying right now. I already said you look

(15:30):
beautiful, but like, I know it's, it's like the guy's
responsibility to make sure the girl looks good.
Yeah, my fingernails. Are literally like, it's like,
hey, get your nails done. Oh yeah.
I mean, if this isn't common knowledge, boyfriends, before
you propose, make sure she's like all make sure she gets beat
up. She beats herself up with the

(15:50):
makeup and then does the hair and the nails and the dress and
stuff. Yeah, like picture ready make.
Sure, my legs are shaved. I saw a video where it was like
the most beautiful location ever, like on the coast and this
guy proposed, but she's like wearing sweats and then like
across the expanse, like yellingto the camera guy.
She's like, I'm wearing fucking sweats.

(16:14):
Like she like lost her mind. And I was like, oh, OK, cool.
Noted. Noted, Noted.
Before I propose to you, you're done.
It's game over. It's over.
What? What do you mean?
I just know that when I propose to you, I'm going to knock your
socks off. I'm going to blow your hair
back, your butt holes inside out.

(16:36):
You're going to take a screenshot with your body,
you're going to melt into a puddle like the Wicked Witch of
the West, You know what I'm saying?
A witch. No.
You called me a witch. Oh my God, I'm so stupid.
Yeah. So the animal that I would like
to domesticate, yes, that's justit's a regular animal in our
world, correct? Yeah, that exists on this
planet. Yeah.

(16:56):
OK, cool. Just like a wild animal that's
yet to be domesticated. Well, but what if there's like
some instances of it being domesticated?
Maybe that's fine. Like a capybara.
Those are domesticated OK and Florida people that's you could
still choose it. Or a raccoon.
That'd be cool. I would love to have they would
get it they do to go hands. No, because I don't know.

(17:16):
That's already get into all the cabinets.
The cats get into all the cabinets.
Yeah, they break into everything, so imagine something
with fucking thumbs. It would be so cool though.
Yeah, and the cats would be friends with it.
Imagine the boys hanging out with a little raccoon.
They're really Yeah, and they'rereally good swimmers too.
Raccoon would be a fun. Animal in Vegas, that's super
important. Was it a raccoon is like a cat

(17:39):
on steroids because they're nocturnal.
So like cats are nocturnal. They're up all night making
noise. Imagine the noise the raccoon
would make and they got thumbs. Cats can open cabinets like the
raccoon could. Like pick a safe, you know what
I mean? Like.
I just realized I've never seen a raccoon in person.
Really. Yeah.
Oh, they're up in Washington. I'd see them.

(18:00):
Maybe. I remember seeing I was done
with a baseball game like when Iwas in like Little League and
there was a mom and like 6 little babies on the field.
Oh so cool. I still remember it, yeah.
Oh, a red panda. That'd be a cool one.
Or a fox that kind of leads in it.
Well, foxes. Have got 10 years, sorry.
No, no, no, that's fine. No, you're good.
You're good. That's those are good.
Those are great bears. No, but hear me out.

(18:22):
I've thought about this so much.Well, no, I know, but hear me
out. Like, you know how there was the
wolves and they've over years ofmutating them, Jurassic parking
them. They've become the dogs we now
know, right? Yeah.
If we did the same thing with, like, a brown bear or a black
bear or a polar bear or a Kodiakbear.
No, but like, mixing with all the other bears and like,

(18:44):
breeding them for certain things.
Imagine a domesticated bear. Like a bear the size of a golden
retriever. I feel like brown bear in my
head is like the only one that'scute enough for that.
Or like a grizzly. Like polar bears are fucking
terrifying and. Those are cute.
There's a lot of cute bears. Black bears are not my fave even
though they're safe. They're black bears when I was
in Florida. They are.
They are raccoons. They're just dumpster diving.

(19:06):
Disgusting. Gross.
Creatures, they just I like let me look up black bear like I
don't like their snouts. Oh, you just don't like the
black bear, huh? Oh my.
Yep. That's what I said.
You kind of. Did that is what I.
Said you don't like their. People look at the brown bears,
so much cuter. I'm sure you love the polar

(19:27):
bear. No, actually, polar bear's my
least favorite types of bears. See like they're look at.
The panda you asunder. I know, but look at the variety
of bears and imagine breeding them to your liking.
You know what I mean? I literally sound like the Bond
villain, like the bad guy in themovie.
Yeah, I mean, let's take the bears from the wild and make

(19:50):
little build a bears for everybody like.
But honestly, it would be kind of cool.
Grizzly polar bear hybrid. That's freaky.
EW EW EW. So what animal would you You
said bears. Bears.
I'd leave it at Bears. I'd leave it at Bears.
I'd leave it at Bears. Okay, yeah, I think that would
be fun. I wanna look up red now I just
wanna Google things Red. That's Panda.

(20:10):
That's the one from the Look at how.
They were recently discovered too.
You should look up when red pandas were discovered because
I'm pretty sure it was not long ago.
Which is crazy to think it's like a Pomeranian.
A panda and a fox had a baby. That's a written. 25 Mario.
That's recent. I guess.
That is recent. It's. 200 years ago.

(20:30):
That's not long. That's not long.
When was? America founded back in 1770.
Six what? A freedom from the Brits?
What? Yeah, that chicks out.
That was such a long time ago. Like, literally.
You lived here in the 1800s. Yeah, the greatest.
I'm really bad at history. The greatest L in human history.

(20:51):
One of them. One of the greatest upsets in
human history, right? The Revolutionary War.
Yeah. It's crazy to think that we had
this king right in England that was taxing without
representation, taxation withoutrepresentation.
And it was just a little bit. It wasn't that much.
And a bunch of farmers and peasants and immigrants from

(21:14):
different countries, we're like,we're not doing that shit here.
And then they revolted and, you know, there's a big revolution
and whatever. And that was just for a little
extra taxes. We're going to throw your tea in
the harbor. Drunk Boston guys dressed up
like Native Americans A. Whole new country.
Bunch of First Nation Indian, Native American cosplaying

(21:35):
appropriating Bostonians. Threw a bunch of tea in the
fucking habit just because there's a little extra tax and I
mean, I'm not trying to start anything, but with I'm just
saying with all the bullshit that's going on right now, it's
insane, right that we're just all like it's just typical.
Let me bend over and take it up the tailpipe.

(21:56):
Ironic. It's very ironic ironic.
It's ironic our. Government in general is pretty
ironic, but. Our government is moronic or
ironic or bull. Moronic.
Yeah. Speaking of history, yeah, we on
our way back from San Diego found this new podcast.
Don't leave ours yet, but when you're done, listen.
No, leave ours. Go listen to right now, like

(22:16):
literally in this and go. It's like high history.
Historically high. Historically high.
So good. It's these two buddies who just
Pitta bong and talk about different historical time
periods and people. We listen like my hyper fixation
this week was the Jonestown massacre.
Yep. And ancient Sparta.
Yeah. And boy oh boy, like we were

(22:37):
listening to them and I just, I love like dark, fucked up
history, you know what I mean? Go listen to it from them or
whatever, or find a better podcast.
I could talk about it better. But the one thing I took from it
is I had no idea these dudes were taken away at the age of 7,
if they even made it that far. And they didn't.
Well, the baby thing was crazy, actually, hold on.
Because they well. A lot of people know about that

(22:58):
like they well, oh, you didn't. No, I had no idea.
OK, so when you're born in Sparta, ancient Sparta, we're
talking like I think 1000 years BC you know what I'm talking
about. If even that.
Yeah, even that. They would literally inspect the
babies right when they were bornto make sure there's any.
A lot of people know this, but they make sure there's any

(23:19):
discrepancies. What a lot of people don't know
is they would do the same thing at five years old.
They would reanalyze. Yeah, how smart this kid is.
Is this kid lame? Is this kid that got any
problems? Is this kid inhibiting?
What do we got? We got to get rid of this kid.
And it was very common practice back then.
Yeah. And when they?
They would put them in like a bowl of water or something to
see if they splashed around. That was when they're a fighter.
When they were a baby, they would put them in a bowl of

(23:40):
water and see if they were like fighting.
There's a bunch of go listen to it there, But like what I I took
away from it, which was crazy, is that they would enter the
agogi, which is school in ancient Sparta and like they
would send the boys sometimes girls.
There's different ways you can get in there.
But Long story short, seven years old to 30 years old,
that's how long that school was.Yeah, if you didn't know, the

(24:02):
life expectancy was a little shorter.
So it's even crazier to think 7 years old to 30 years old.
You're a part of this school, learning how to be a warrior,
learning how to defend your homeland.
Like all this crazy and the stuff that goes on there is
insane. It's something once you're out
you just go to war. Like literally they.
Give you land, they give you a wife.
Everything your life surrounds is learning how to fight and

(24:24):
being a good fighter. Yeah, well, and then so crazy.
There was like different echelons to it.
It was a very advanced society for their time.
They had a lot of gruesome, crazy stuff.
It's very interesting. And then the Jonestown Massacre,
too. We listened to that.
That 1 was fucking wild. Which, if you don't know, that's
where like the whole Drink the Kool-aid saying comes from.
It turns out it was Flavor Aid. Oh yeah, Flavor Aid, not
kool-aid. Sorry but it was a cult Jim

(24:46):
Jones ran it for a while and then had what, like 9?
It's over 900. People 900 people down in 18
people South. America right?
I think 900 people ish. They actually drank the
Flavorade, the poison Flavorade.He brought them down.
Brainwashed them. Yeah, he brought them down to
like a what's it? Called.
It was in South America. It was a.
It started in America again, in Indiana, I think.

(25:09):
He started in the Midwest, he moved out to California and then
he moved down to South America. So like a plantation type?
Yeah, pretty much. They like cleared out the
jungle. It was a Georgetown.
It was next to Georgetown. Anyway, he basically started to
get caught with being a terriblecult leader, and so he made
everybody drink the Flavor Aid. Yeah, I like listening to that

(25:30):
sort of stuff because people arelike, oh, why would you want to?
Why would you want to listen to that?
Why would you want to learn about ancient fucked up history?
Well, and it's really prevalent today.
Yeah, you know what I mean? They repeats itself.
It's really interesting to go back and look at different
societies specifically and like things that happened and then
just see our modern day and how history repeats itself in a lot

(25:50):
of ways. Oh, what led to their downfall?
Yeah. Oh, where were they messing up?
Or like in like, you look back and you're like, oh, we've just
been in a circle. Yeah, this whole thing.
With like fashion trends that they repeat themselves like
crazy. It's a pendulum, it swings back
and forth and it's a cycle and just continues going over and
over again. This is so this is just because
of what I just said, but it feels funny to bring up while

(26:11):
we're having like heavy conversations about history.
But I kept seeing pictures of people at Coachella this
weekend, weekend one and they like literally were dressed like
they were at a 2014 Coachella and I loved it.
I. Don't know what that means.
OK, well, you. Well, think about like 2014
trends. I don't know.
I 2014. I wasn't a part of this planet

(26:34):
at all, 2014. Did you even have like a
smartphone at that point? No.
No, no. So 2014 didn't have a
smartphone. I didn't have a smartphone until
I was like 18. I thought social media was the
dumbest thing ever like. This.
No, but what I'm saying is 2013 I graduated high school 2014
spent the whole year in boot camp and fire Academy and
settling into my new like that whole year was just like my

(26:55):
first year of the military. So I don't know what the hell
was going on at that time. Little I didn't even know
Coachella was around. Coachella's been around for a
fat minute. I was looking at the lineups
from like 2010. How long has Coachella been
around? So cool, let me look.
I do want to mention one thing about ancient Sparta that I
thought was super cool. You know the two ways you can
earn a headstone in ancient Sparta as a man?

(27:19):
You can earn it by being a Spartan or a warrior and being
on the winning side of a battle and dying in battle.
That's how you get yourself a headstone.
That's how you in a You're not an unmarked grave.
Yeah, it's not if you're killed in battle, it's if you are
killed in battle but your side won.
Yes, so that's a losing battle in the second way.
Only two ways. Dying in childbirth.

(27:41):
Yeah. And what we were learning, the
more we're listening to it, Sparta, which is so This is why
it's so interesting to me. We, we know the last couple
years there's been like the Andrew Tates and the Red Pill
and the alpha males and all thisfucking stupid over the top
masculine bullshit, right? Meanwhile, in ancient Sparta,
which is regarded as like the most alpha elite.

(28:04):
Like. Warriors of all fucking time,
right in their society. They wanted to uplift and
support the women just as much as the dudes.
They were also gay. Oh yeah, I was going to get to
that. Not only were they gay as fuck
and just openly bisexual, when they got with their wives, they
had to shave their heads so it was more accustomed to what they

(28:26):
were used to. Right, like they would have to
do some doggy style. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And on top of all that, though, the women would wear more
leisurely, you know, like kind of work attire so they could
ride horses. They learned to wrestle.
Some women even went to the agogi.
Like women were regarded. They were still mistreated and
they weren't, like, citizens. And they like there was
whatever. There was obviously problems

(28:47):
with it. I'm not a fucking historian.
But what I picked up on in the theme throughout it is they were
held to the same standard as menin a lot of instances.
And they were supported and theywere recognized.
Like, oh, you, you going throughchildbirth and dying like that
earns you a headstone. Yeah.
And that's. And if you think about it like
that's equivalent to like dying on the winning side of a battle,

(29:09):
like childbirth. Really think about that.
Like and at that. Because it's also important to
further their civilization, you know, So like in that sense,
like women are very important and they're not used as a tool.
Think like hands made Handmaid'sTale.
It's the opposite. It's like we were.
I've never understood why women aren't the one with power.
Why women don't have power because men are stronger

(29:29):
physically. That's like literally why men
were just stronger physically and able to overpower women for
centuries because that's just the anatomy of it.
And so that's why they're in power.
And then now that's kind of lessprevalent.
Now we have like technology, we have warfare, we have all these
other things like a fighter battles for us, whether it be a
trade war, whether it be, you know, weapons of mass
destruction, you know, like obviously we still want people

(29:51):
at the forefront to fight our ground battles and stuff, but
it's just less prevalent. Now, yeah, I love the
conversation of like, when men are like, oh, women can't be in
office or can't control things because they would let their
emotions get in the way. We would go to war.
And it's like, well, who so far has started every single war?
Yeah, the men. The men I love that little.
I'm not against women being in power at all.

(30:12):
I want to make that perfectly. Oh, I know, I know, I know.
But like, it is very what I'm trying to get at because there's
a, I know like they discarded bait like live babies and
toddlers and they did horrible practices and whatever.
And you can't just like pick andbowl what you like from like an
ancient society and this and that.
I just find it very interesting that like alpha dudes in modern

(30:35):
day and age will refer to themselves as like Spartans or
like Reed Marcus Aurelius or like gladiator Roman times.
You know what I'm talking about.And in Rome and in Sparta and
all this stuff, women were respected, right?
Yeah, for the most part. For the most part.
And all the dudes were doing like, gay shit, like crazy, you
know what I mean? Like, they were having orgies.

(30:56):
They were doing the gayest things ever.
Those alpha men are also the most like the modern day alpha
men are the most misogynistic homophobic assholes.
So it's it is funny. The first Coachella was in 1999.
1999. Yeah, isn't that crazy?
Oh, so right before Y2K? OK.
Yeah, I did not know that's like26.
Years that old either I. Didn't know Coachella was around
that long. That's really.

(31:17):
Interesting, this will be my 4thCoachella.
This. Is my first one, I know, and I'm
very appreciative to be able to go.
I'm very excited to go. I'm very grateful for the
position I'm in and all the hardwork that I've done has paid off
to the point where I can go to something like Coachella and be
a little above general admissionin the VIP section.
All that to say, I want to show the real experience while I'm

(31:39):
there, right? Because from what you've told
me, you have to Sprint a mile toevery stage.
It's 100°. Sorry, I'm trying to sound like
an old out of touch dude right now, so just.
Oh, you are. I know, I know.
So like from what you've told me, yes, you run a mile to every
stage. It's 100°.
There's not that much shade, right?
No, Yeah, there's not. You're in the desert.

(32:01):
There's a ton of people there, it's overcrowded, it's sweaty,
it's wild. Yep.
It goes until like the wee hoursof the night.
Yeah, it's Oh my God, like all of that.
I'm super. I'm so excited.
I'm so excited. Honestly, really fun and like
thankfully, because they're not sponsoring this right now, but
SeatGeek is the one sending us to Coachella and thankfully they

(32:22):
gave us VIP passes. So you're going to get like a
nice cushy, cushy Coachella. We have, like, our own.
I know, but what is that? Our own section?
I'll show you. Yeah, I'll show you the
Coachella. Yeah, even by the stage we have
our own section. I don't even want to drink that
much. I already told you my plans for.
Coaching. I'm just letting you know that
it. Like I'm super grateful.
Like that's super fucking cool. Why do we need, we don't need

(32:44):
our own. What?
I could just bring a cooler. No you cannot.
You can't bring a cooler. Absolutely.
It's not like Disney or any. Other think about like when you
check in for a you. Could bring like sandwiches and
stuff. We can't like, just make
sandwiches. Around, yeah, we could, yeah,
but we're not going to bring a whole cooler.
So well, like a little cooler with like some water and
sandwiches and chips and. This is the mainstage.

(33:04):
This is like a whole VIP section.
Oh dear Jesus. So that's all cut off to GA, but
like, there's food in there, there's lockers, there's water,
there's beer, there's. That literally looks like
Universal Studios. That is huge.
Yeah, You see what I mean when you have to run across like,
look, if you wanted to go from Sahara, which is where one of
the people we want to see is, and then immediately after that

(33:25):
one is performing in the mainstage, which is here.
Yeah, it's it's a lot. I mean, I'm grateful and that's
exciting. That is a lot though.
That's far. That's crazy.
Yeah, that's fucking wild. It is very far.
We go VIP. Yeah.
That makes me nervous. Why I just get aged?
Because who else is going to be in the VIP section?
Other influencers and probably acouple celebrities, but it's

(33:47):
weekend too so it's not going tobe as overwhelming in VIP as
that makes. Me so happy actually.
It's really funny, Kylie Jenner.I just went last weekend.
The other day I was like, I'm glad we're going weekend, too,
because I feel like we can watchmore of the music.
And a lot of, like, the celebrities and influencers are
gone. And you looked at me and you
went, we're influencers. Yeah.
And I was like, Oh yeah. Every other year, every other

(34:10):
year that I've gone to Coachella, except last year,
I've gone weekend too and there's plenty of influencers.
You know, but I don't even. Not as many as we can one, but
like. All I'm actually, the best way I
can put this, all I'm getting atis if you watch my videos, I
really try to show the real experience.
So if we're at Coachella and I'mhaving a fun time, I'll capture
that and be like, whoa, this is a fun time.

(34:31):
But if I'm at Coachella and there's some things that like
maybe, you know, us peasants, usday-to-day folks aren't really
accustomed to, I'm also going topoint that out too.
I'm going to I'm going to be real with it.
And that's how I've always been with my contact.
I think that's also kind of likenot to discredit you because I
know you are like that, but likeI've noticed even with last
year's or last week's Coachella,people being more realistic in

(34:54):
general. Like that video of Christina
Kirkman or Kirkham Kirkman. I don't know, love her, but she
was talking about how she was like, I, I just have to poop and
I'm hot and I don't I'm so tired.
Like that clip of her. And then I think Alex Earl
posted a story time about like she yelled at someone because
they weren't dancing. Or something.
No, no, no, there's AI said. Why have I seen that?

(35:14):
I don't. Know why you saw Alex Earl?
I do. Yeah, I do.
I respect Alex Earl. Yeah, her hustle.
I've studied how she does her videos for years.
Yeah, it's more of like a from, like a spectator and also like a
Oh yeah. There's so many people that I
follow that I'm. Like, how do I do that?
But I guess that's kind of why everyone follows Alex.
Earl Well, she does it good. I mean, she does it very, very.
Good. She knows what she's doing.
I mean, like, there's, there's alot of people like that online

(35:36):
that like I watch and I'm like, OK, like it's just like anybody,
like it's like Kobe watching Michael Jordan, you know what I
mean? It's like, I feel like you can
learn from other people. And I want everyone to be
successful. And I would never.
I don't try to compete with people.
I just try to learn from people and then apply it to my life as
organically and naturally as I possibly can.
Yeah, but. What was the video about?

(35:57):
Do you remember? Just people weren't dancing.
I remember she made a video of people weren't dancing.
That's what it was. I think why influencers get such
a bad Rep, and I've tried to stay away from that as much as
possible, is when they're performative and they're trying
to make things that are maybe mundane or day-to-day seem
incredible. Oh, and like, perfect.

(36:19):
And perfect when, like in reality, we all know that's not
how it is. You know what I mean?
Yeah, obviously with my page, I try to show that the day-to-day,
the mundane, the boring can be fun.
But if you watch my videos, it takes a lot of effort to do
that. You got to cook something, you
got to do an activity, you got to do whatever.
I'm not going to hold up my phone and be like, oh, we're
just like on the couch living our happiest little fucking

(36:42):
lives in life. Well, that's when every single
aspect of your life is made to look aesthetic.
I'm just like, it seems so exhausting.
Yeah, it seems so exhausting. Like, really?
Even even right now, because we're about to drive to
Coachella after this, I was like, oh, should I put on like a
really cute travel outfit and like, maybe take a car selfie
and like, do all this and like, And then I was like, yeah.

(37:05):
And I was like, oh God, that sounds like so much fucking
work. I'm not doing all that.
Yeah, no, I just want to drive to.
Yeah, I'm wearing my Coachella sweatshirt and that's enough.
Well, that's what I mean. It's like we can just exist.
We don't have to like always puton a costume or a performance.
We can just, like, live our lives.
I have some really exciting information.
Yeah, Ed Sheeran's going to be their weekend too.
He wasn't their Weekend 1. So we get to see Ed Sheeran.

(37:29):
Really. Yeah.
I remember my little sister and my mom, and I think my oldest
sister, too, went and saw TaylorSwift back when I was in high
school. Like, my dad surprised my little
sister for her birthday with Taylor Swift tickets.
Yeah. This was a while ago.
Yeah. This wasn't like Era's tour.
This was like way before that. And my mom and my sisters went
to Taylor Swift and they came back and they're talking about

(37:51):
how absolutely amazing it was and never that.
And then they would not stop talking about this guy that
opened for Taylor Swift. And he went out there and he
said it was just a guy with a guitar with a looping station,
and he like built his own song and he was singing and he was
incredible. And they're like he almost stole
the show in a way. Like 2 years later that was Ed

(38:11):
Sheeran. There was an ongoing bit with me
and my best friend when we were in high school and it would make
her literally like cry laughing every time I would do it and I
would just think. Where your legs don't work like
me used to. Before I was the prettiest girl

(38:34):
in school, I was prom queen and then I I smelt.
You're really good at that. I'm really like, I can do a lot
of voices, yeah. Fun fact, Oh my God, I tried to
do Oh well it wasn't a voice, but last night I tried to like I
tried to mimic sucking unit and it like something like popped in
my throat and it literally was like an immediate anxiety.

(38:55):
I told you it was a ghost. A ghost took advantage of the
situation because you're like pantomiming the thing and then
like you're like, Oh my God, something actually happened and.
All the like. Yeah, my throat hurt.
Yeah, there's why would. Your laptop take 800 years to
turn on, isn't that crazy? It should not take that long.
Isn't that crazy? It's been plugged in for almost
an hour now and it's just now turning.
On this laptop's been through itOK, I've had this laptop for a

(39:16):
while, had it with me on some deployments.
What are you most excited for and least excited for?
Sorry. AO hold on, you scoop, right?
By it. No, no, no, no.
My plan for Coachella. OK.
OK. I call it being hydrated,
Addison, stay hydrated. Hi, no hydrated.

(39:38):
Hydrated. Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no. Because I've been doing this
lately. Ever since I was able to partake
in the devil's sausiest lettuce.You know what I'm talking about.
When I go out, I maybe I'd have a couple drinks, right?
Yeah, but I'll just stay hydrated.
Like I'll just like, drink waterbecause there's always like a

(39:59):
cooler or something. Or you can get an ice water.
Yeah, but I but I get super high.
Have you ever been high, like before a concert or like going
out and stuff? It's so much fun.
Yeah. Like, why don't we just do that?
Entire college experience. And then there's like no
hangover. There's no.
It's like. Because when you do smoke too
much weed a lot of times for a lot of people, it gets to a
point after like a couple years,it gets to a point where it just

(40:20):
makes you extremely anxious because you'll have a couple bad
anxiety attacks while high and then it'll ruin the whole
experience for you. And like, for me, getting high
just makes me really anxious a lot of the time.
And like, especially if I do have a drink or two, Like
getting crossfaded for me is an immediate blackout, throw up,
bad time. Really.
Yeah. Which is why, like, recently

(40:41):
I've been getting a little too drunk when we party together.
Because you get high and I like,don't.
You're like, I guess I'll do double the workload for no
reason. Yeah, I don't know why, but it's
been dangerous, so I'm not goingto drink that much at Coachella.
No. No.

(41:02):
Oh, fair enough. There was that one time he got
really drunk at the Super Bowl. Oh God.
That was the only time I ever got mad at a fan.
Yeah. Literally the only time, yeah,
that was it. Genuinely, genuinely, genuinely.
I need to lock in for this. Do you want to come up to me and
say hi? You want to take a photo?
You want to talk for a little bit?
I don't give a fuck. I don't care.

(41:23):
No, please do. It's so cool.
Like I appreciate it so much. It's really cool being in the
real world. And someone comes up to you and
they go, I watch you and I like your videos and I support you.
And you get that like real tangible experience of like,
whoa, like outside of my phone in my house, like in the real
world, there are people out herethat enjoy and support me.
And why wouldn't I be the most appreciative person ever if I

(41:46):
was lucky enough for that to happen, right?
And sometimes people could be a little long winded.
Sometimes people take advantage of it, whatever the case may be,
But at the end of the day, you know, they built this podcast
studio, Am I right? Yeah.
Like, literally, like, I have nothing but appreciation.
And I try to take all your guys's support and make it as
entertaining as possible. All of that said, all of that

(42:07):
said, we were at the bar. Yeah.
It was Super Bowl Sunday. And I think part of the reason
this even happened is because I'm so allowing and gracious
when people approach us. Fair enough.
And so you were drinking. I was sloshed.
You were very, very, very drunk.I and it was in like an LA
bathroom where everyone's, everyone's in the bathroom.

(42:30):
Yeah. Which I I I've been to LA maybe
like twice. It was in West Hollywood.
It was one of those where like there was stalls, there was a
couple of stalls and then like athrough sink for like all
genders. Yes.
Imagine going to the bathroom and then when you walk out of
the stall to wash your hands, everyone's in there.
Which was fine, it worked like it was whatever.
But it was, I was like, I remember walking in and there

(42:51):
was like 30 women and I was like, where's the bathroom?
They're like, oh, you have to walk through this like herd of
women to get to where the men goto the bathroom.
The reason I'm even illustratingthat is because Bryn got a
little too drunk. She got a little pukey and she's
standing in the middle of the lobby of like the bathroom with
all these people around. And I'm like holding her up and

(43:13):
she's like spitting up into the troughs.
Probably like honestly one of the drunkest I've ever been.
Yeah, you got yeah, you got a little sloppy poopy.
But Glen, Glen, we'll put Glenn up right here.
Love Glenn. Glenn came and met us out.
We love Glenn. I want to make videos with you,
Glenn. I know you want to make videos
with Glenn. We love Glenn.
Glenn, come on the fucking podcast.
We love Glenn and he's helping me out with Brynn and I go to

(43:37):
the bar to close out my tab and security people are like, you
guys need to go. So like I'm I'm getting out.
Rightfully so. Meanwhile, the entire six hours
of us watching the Super Bowl, we've been there for a long
time, right? There's been this couple.
And if you're watching this, which actually from the way you
guys are behaving, you probably are watching this.
And I do appreciate you guys support.

(43:59):
You were too much. You were way too much.
First off, you guys never even introduced yourselves.
You just kind of like posted up next to me and Bryn, which is
fine. And we had a little
conversation, but you hung out there the whole night.
We're having our own private conversations and you kept like
inserting yourself in them. It was weird because they never
introduced themselves, but it was like very obvious that they
knew us. From social media.

(44:19):
From social media, yeah. And like and we're like, but
they never, they just walked up to us like we were like old
friends and hung out the whole time.
Yeah, and like that part is likea little annoying, but that's
not even like the part that madeyou mad.
No, for keep in mind it was 6 hours of that.
I didn't say a word to him. I didn't say one word.
I just like kind of let it happen and I was like, OK, OK,
cool. We're just watching the game,
We're doing our thing. And like they chime in every

(44:41):
once in a while. I just kind of let it go and
kind of roll my eyes to Bryn andwhatever.
And like we got, they got pictures, they got to talk to
us. We did the whole thing.
Like I don't feel bad for what Idid at all.
And I want to make that crystal clear.
But Bryn's with Glenn security is trying to get us out of
there. I need to like.
Slumped in a. Yeah, you were slumped in a
booth with Glenn. Yeah, and I'm trying to close

(45:01):
out my tab and the couple's there, of course.
And I'm like, hey, can I, can I get the check or whatever?
And he starts going. You're leaving.
No, no, no, you can't leave. Like, oh, no, no, like let me
get you a shot. Like I'll get what do you want
to drink? And he starts talking and I'm
like, no, I'm OK. He keeps going.
Like he will not stop. And like, I'm very stressed out
because I've been carrying you in and out of a bathroom stall.

(45:24):
Security's on my ass. People want us out of there.
I'm just trying to close up whatever.
And he's lit. I cannot make this up, like just
chirping in my ear the whole time.
I'm just waiting to close out. Yeah.
And at this point, I'm giving him the like, I'm not paying
attention to you, you know, I'm just trying to close up my
thing. He goes here out of nowhere.
Like, he goes here and he slidesme a beer.

(45:45):
Oh. God.
Right. Yeah.
And I'm not in the like you. Know we're read.
Read the fucking room, dude, read the fucking room.
And so I take the beer and I literally go fuck off.
And I'm like, man, I took the beer.
That's just yell. I didn't even, it just happened.
I was just like, can you fuck off?
And I just put it right there and he's all shocked.

(46:05):
Yeah. He's deer in headlights.
And I, well, no. And then I go, I was like, I was
like, can you please stop? And then he was like a little
shocked. And I was like, just just you
guys gotta fuck off. I was like, you guys have a
great night. Like I'm we're done, we're done,
we're done. And then I just faced, you know,
and I, we ended up closing out. We left.
Whatever, the annoying part is that like, we aren't asking to
be treated differently. Not at.

(46:28):
All or like special in any. Way I'd rather fly under the
radar. 100% but like some peoplejust also don't like they just
I, I think it's, it's difficult sometimes for people to
understand that like we also canhave rough days or like not be
in the best moods. I've never really had a bad fan.
That was it. That was.

(46:48):
It. I've had one that was very
similar to that actually in a bar back in 2022, No 2023,
whereas I told you about that. It was my birthday.
I was crying. She.
You're crying happy tears in some, Randall.
That May yeah. And I was talking to my
ex-girlfriend, but I was I was crying happy tears on the phone
with her. She I had already taken pictures
with her earlier in the night. She sees me crying.

(47:10):
She goes and finds my family andmy best friend and starts
yelling at them and they come out and they're like, what is
she yelling at us? Bren, are you OK?
And I was like the fuck? And then she came back out and
started like yelling more and I was like leave me all you don't
know me, leave me alone just. This weekend in San Diego.
Yell at my family. So that's what I just this
weekend in San Diego here guys, approach us as much as you want.

(47:32):
Yeah, I don't like talking aboutthis, No.
No, no, but hear me out, hear meout, hear me out, guys, come say
hi, like come say hi. Get your pictures like love it.
Shit, we're. Always very nice.
We're always very nice come. Like I'm telling you right now.
Yeah, Just like you'll get the same energy you give us and.
I'm and we're not trying to sound ungrateful.
No, I love it. I love it.
Come get your pictures. Come say hi.
Like, I cannot stress that enough.

(47:54):
However, there was a, there was a girl at the San Diego bar that
came up to me and she was like, Oh my God, hey, what's up?
And I'm standing with my best friend, my best friend since 3rd
grade. We're just getting drinks for
people, right? And this girl comes up to me and
she's she's going, Oh my God, Mario da da da da da, whatever
the fuck. And she goes, where's Bryn?
Bryn's over there. OK, cool, cool, cool.

(48:15):
Can I get a picture video real quick?
Whatever. My friend offers to like, take
the picture. And then he goes, oh, and I
could take you over to Bryn realquick.
My friend just does that for this stranger.
This young woman decides to juststart berating my friend,
literally, like openly and proudly and loudly.
She just starts going. She goes, I'm not here for you.
I'm not here for you. No, no, no, no.

(48:37):
Like, to him. Yeah.
She completely dismisses my friend, low key yells at him,
treats him like he's nothing, and then acts like we're better
friends. Right?
Like, oh, Mario, sorry this guy's bothering you.
That's my best friend since fucking third grade.
Like, what are you thinking? Like, are you crazy?
You started TikTok. He's the whole reason I started
making videos. He's the whole reason I started
making videos in the 1st place. He's the one that convince me to

(48:59):
do it. And like, what irks me is when
people come up and they treat myfriends, my family, people that
I'm with, like they're less because of like, you know me
from social media and you have this parasocial relationship
with me. So you think that you're like
closer to me than the people I'mactually with.
So if you're going to come up tome, everyone that I'm with

(49:22):
obviously is an extension of myself.
And I can confidently say I caremore about them than you.
They come first, like obviously,obviously.
So don't mistreat me, don't mistreat her.
Don't mistreat the people that I'm with.
And you can have all the pictures, conversations,
whatever the hell you want and then don't overstay your
welcome. That's pretty.
That's pretty much all I I thinkthat's pretty reasonable.

(49:43):
I never want to sound ungratefulfor the fans that I have, and I
know you don't either. Yeah, because obviously we are
where we are because of people who support us.
Yeah. And for that reason, we love all
of you. But like, yeah, there there's
been certain instances, instances.
I, I promise you we're, we're just giving you a couple healthy
boundaries. We're also just story, we're

(50:04):
just shooting the shit. So bringing it back to Coachella
now, I want to hear, aside from the music, what you're most
excited for and what you're least excited for.
At Coachella. Yeah, aside from the music.
Oh, I. Was a It's like Post Malone
Green Day. Like Lady Gaga.
Honestly, I think Green Day is like, oh but Lady Gaga.
Yeah, seeing Lady Gaga anywhere would be amazing.

(50:25):
So my 2? My favorite thing?
You're most excited. My most excited for and my least
excited for. I know what I'm least excited
for. Yeah, what's that?
The sweat, I already know it's gonna be 100°.
I'm just gonna be wearing normalclothes cuz that's all I have.
I'm not wearing like festival wear.
Well, kinda. You're wearing like really cool
graphic Tees. I'm.
Wearing graphic Tees and shorts and a hat.

(50:47):
I don't know. I'm just like, I know regardless
what I'm wearing, it's going to be 100°.
I'm in the sun. My ass is Niagara Falls.
Like it's just like, I know I'm not excited for that aspect of
it. I'd say the heat in the
bathrooms. Or the bathrooms guys.
Yeah, thankfully there we have. Our own Wait, are they really?
We have our own bathrooms in VIP, but if we're like by one of

(51:08):
the stages that doesn't have AVIP area, we're going to have
to use porta potties. I'm going to use porta potties
the whole time I'm there. I'm not using the VIP battery
because I want to slum it. I will not be going anywhere
near them with you. Not to sound like a bougie
little bitch, but I literally throw up.
I say that now like. Think about day three, weekend
2, day three, those porta potties.
I'm just letting you know right now with my nest building

(51:29):
skills, which I've made you wellaware of.
Yeah, I build the best bird's nest on top of the toilet before
I pop a squad in a public bathroom.
Like toilet paper, the little fucking flimsy tissue paper they
give you. I just squat.
But I'm saying day three, Coachella, porta Potti.
Who care? I'm literally, I'm not touching
any of it, but. That's what I'm saying.
Like I pull my pants down, I don't sit down, but like I just

(51:50):
squat and like my legs are gonnafall off.
Oh my God, I remember like 2-3 years ago we were about to get
in and I literally was about to shit my pants and so I had to
run into the porta potty and I didn't want to fucking sit down
on it. So I was like squatting trying
to fucking get a poop out in this hot, hot porta potty.
Disgusting, Like actually disgusting.

(52:12):
The VIP ones though can also geta little stinky, but they're
like the trailer bathrooms. OK.
So like if you do have to poop, I would recommend doing it in
the. VIP probably would have to poop.
As long as you're not one of those people that pee just in
the middle of the grass in the middle of the festival area.
If no one could see me, I'd do it.
Honestly, I'm saying that those people are terrible, and I do

(52:34):
think that that's really fuckinggross to do.
I did it once. Yeah, that.
I just saw you squatting like fucking Gollum on the sidewalk
this weekend. Like peeing in the corner of an
alley, Like Star bombs * bombs, Dr. bombs.
Like, like that's literally you.Like, yeah.
I will pop a squat but like to do it in because I'm saying and

(52:56):
this isn't not how I did it at all when I'm talking about this,
but there are people like at concerts or at festivals who
will pop a squat in the crowd you because they don't want to
lose their spot. And I'm like, that's literally
disgusting. Just going to a bucket or
something. It'll just go before you get
into the like pit and then if you're in the bucket, you got to
know that you're gonna be there.Maybe wear a diaper, I don't

(53:16):
know. Just install a colostomy bag
before the weekend. Exactly.
And then you'll is that that hard like God?
I might do that actually. Wait, so you haven't said what
you're most excited for? Most excited for other than the
music. Yes.
Sunday is 420. Yeah, like Sunday and Easter is
Easter Sunday. 4/20 at Coachella.

(53:37):
And who's headlining? Post Malone.
Yeah, So game over. That's what I'm most excited
for. Yeah.
That I'm gonna wake and I'm a bake.
Yeah. And then I'm gonna be out of my
mind. Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's your favorite Post Malone
song? Candy paint.

(53:58):
I like circles in Rockstar. Two years ago, Labyrinth was one
of the people performing and I went with my ex-girlfriend.
They're the euphoria people. Yeah, OK.
And on our way there, I was like, imagine how crazy it would
be if they brought out Zendaya. That's what they fucking did.
Did they really? Yeah, Oh my God, yeah.
That was also the year Metro Boomin brought out literally

(54:19):
everyone you could ever name. Ever.
I want Green Day to bring back like early 2000s some other like
blink 182. Who could T pain bring out T
pain? Oh, T Pain's there.
Yeah. Oh my God.
I'm most excited for T Pain. Green Day there's.
A lot. T pain Green Day, Post Malone,

(54:40):
Lady Gaga, Jimmy World I'm excited for Jimmy World.
There's. More Ed Sheeran.
Ed Sheeran, I'd be excited for you.
Who's the other stallion? The Stallion.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be cool.
Excited for Megan Sally, you already said all three
headliners. OK, well, those are who I'm most
excited for. I'm.
I'm a basic bitch. DJ Mustard, if he brings out
Kendrick, yeah, I would actuallyshit my heart out.

(55:04):
Yeah, I would shit my heart out of my face.
But what are you least excited for and most excited for in a
particular order? Least excited, same thing as you
eat, which honestly doesn't looklike it's gonna be that bad, but
heat and drink prices in the bathrooms and also the fact that
I don't eat a lot. Coachella weekend because it's
kind of hard to like find time for food and then when you do,

(55:26):
it's kind of like fair food almost and like.
So you're like. Trying to DoorDash it to the
Airbnb at like 2:00 in the morning and.
So you're like drunk. You're drunk and high and
dehydrated and the only thing you can eat is like a fucking
elephant. Ear in.
VI Like a funnel. Cake in VIP, they do actually
have really good restaurants, but it's like the lines are long
restaurants. Yeah, they'll have like ramen
and like tacos. It's actually pretty good food.

(55:49):
It's just hard to like, rememberand like, make time for it and
like. I just know when it comes to
food, I'll remember and make time.
I just know from past years I kind of like leave Coachella and
I'm like, wow, I barely fucking ate this weekend.
We gotta stop ordering shit. I know.
But then. I'm so tired of just ordering
things. I'm most excited for, obviously
the music that's like #1 but we're saying aside from that,

(56:10):
the content, which sounds very annoying of me, but like the
content is really fun to make. Oh, what the fuck?
You know, I'm excited for that. What the that's like what I'm
most excited for is just like documenting the experience.
Yeah. Especially as a first time
Coachella goer. Yeah.
And showing people like a real genuine reaction to being at
Coachella for someone that maybe, maybe this is a one time

(56:32):
deal. I don't know if I'm.
I don't know. I don't really.
I'm just tagging along. I'm also excited to do
transitions and trends. And get ready with me as yeah.
My content, yeah. And they're like, I include you
in that, obviously. But like, my outfits, even
though they're really basic and honestly, I'm not super proud of
my outfits this year. I'm excited to see them come
together with, like, my hair andmy makeup And like, it's always
just really fun for me to get dressed up for an occasion.

(56:54):
Yeah. No matter what the occasion is.
I love when there's like almost a theme, you know?
Yeah, I get that, but counterpoint, why does
everything have to be the fucking Met Gala nowadays?
Oh God, yeah, no. As someone who is just now
tiptoeing their toes into some real influencer famous celebrity
shit, right? And like, there's these events

(57:15):
and things we're getting invitedto and all this stuff, which I'm
again, so appreciative, so grateful for, it cannot
whatever. But like I already feel myself
being like an Adam Sandler type for sure.
Yeah, my style is just very basic, very safe, very
straightforward. Like I'm the type of person
where if someone was making a YouTube video, like judging
everyone's Met Gala outfits, they'd look at me and be like,

(57:36):
it's fine. Like it looks good, but like
it's not wowing. Me, I love those videos so much.
I was watching 1 this morning. About and I if I ever end up in
one of those videos, just know that I could give a fuck less
about my score. You could rate me -500 I don't
care. I literally could give a fuck
less. I don't want to look like

(57:58):
District 1 Hunger Games, you know what I'm saying?
Like I don't. And that's fine for anybody that
wants to do that. I'm just saying me personally,
if you want to do a cool makeup look on me or it's Halloween,
but like I don't look at like festivals and like events and
stuff and go like, oh, I'm aboutto like I'm not going to be
wearing the Jaden Smith Castle on my.
I will try to do like really cute out there.

(58:21):
Like I will spend months trying to figure out what I'm going to
wear and then I literally like start putting it all together
and I'm like, OK, I can like kind of see the vision.
And then like at the end of the day, it's literally like, oh,
this is just the most basic outfit I possibly could have
thought of. I look like every other bitch.
I say all that though, and then like you said, when I'm
scrolling and people are showingoff, they're like outfits for

(58:42):
the Med gala, glam bots, Grammys, Emmys, Oscars,
Coachella, whatever it may be. And it's that one dude sitting
in the corner. Like, don't love it.
I like it. Yeah. 7 out of 10 blew it out of
the water. I'm like in on it.
I'm like watching it. I'm like OK, cool.
They're so right, yeah. Yeah, I just know me personally,
if I'm ever at those events, I'mgonna get a bad score and I

(59:05):
don't care. Do you remember what you wanted
to do on Sunday 4/20 with Post Malone headlining?
Oh, I wanted to dress up like Post Malone.
Yeah, really, really badly. Yeah, yeah.
I got a really cool shirt thoughfrom Culture Kings.
You can still do, you can still do Post Malone culture kings.
I can still draw the tattoos on you.
He might still dress up like Post Malone.
Yeah. Oh, we're there and we're VIP,

(59:26):
and he's performing and he looksout in the crowd and he goes,
oh, my God, what am I doing out there?
What's going on? Who is that?
Is that me? But it's me dressed up like him.
Then we make eye contact and then he goes, oh, I like this
guy. Yeah.
And then he calls me up on. Well, then he calls me up on
stage. Right and I'm up there.
He hands me a Les Paul guitar and I start shredding while he's

(59:49):
performing Rockstar. We become best friends.
He takes me to the green room. It's 420.
We smoke some green right backstage passes for the rest of
my life. You do God knows what where me
and Posty are going on tour. You sound like a preteen girl
who's like I shaved my armpits so that One Direction would fall
in love with me and I would be in a marriage with all five of

(01:00:11):
them. Well, what's wrong with that?
Enough. It's just funny because it's
like delusion. I feel like, well, I mean,
there's only like my. He was hanging out with people
last weekend. This was like my this is like my
4th concert so I don't know whatthe protocol is.
Smokes has been on my lap for like half an hour now.
Yeah. Sweet baby boy.
Smokes is our cat. For our audible listeners,
there's been a cat. Smokes is the biggest slut on

(01:00:34):
planet fucking earth. If you've been watching, you've
probably seen him just begging for attention.
He just drooled. On me.
I can't take a shit, I can't brush my teeth, I can't fall
asleep. But this fucking cat literally
all over me all the time. It's just a baby.
Everything and everywhere, all of the time.

(01:00:54):
Smokes. The cat is everywhere all of the
time. Opening the cabinets and taking
shit in the litter Robot. Litter Robot.
Oh yeah, get yourself one of those.
Oh, you left me. You did tell me what dog you'd
want. Oh yeah.
And I was shocked, but I support.
It well, there's two if they weren't hypoallergenic, which if

(01:01:15):
obviously, whatever. I feel like we can make it work.
Yeah. You are allergic to the cats
really bad and you're like accustomed to it now I.
Saw a video of a Basset Hound puppy yes and I was like fuck
that's cute. Crazy poll.
I was watching a video from again one of my favorite
influencers Christina Kirkman. She has 2 mini dachshunds.

(01:01:37):
And. One of them was like a little
blonde, like super tiny puppy. Little Wiener dog the Wiener
dogs so cute. The little Oscar Meyer Wiener
dogs. The with like the longer hair in
different colors. Like the ones that we were
holding in LA. We.
Did puppy yoga and it was a bunch of Wiener dogs and they'll
there was like a Wiener dog thatlooked like a full grown golden

(01:01:57):
retriever. It was so, it was so cute, but
it was like the tiniest little puppy long gated.
Five of them on me at once. Oh my God, I was in you're.
Not really a dog person, though,because you're obviously you're
allergic and all that, but like the Basset Hound, you didn't
know this. I, like I passed it off to you
as common knowledge about the Basset Hound.
Like you didn't know? No.
The reason their faces are so droopy in their ears, ears are

(01:02:18):
so long. Yeah, Is because that sifts up
all the dust and dirt while they're smelling and hunting.
You know what I mean? You OK?
Are you already? Here, just starting to get to
me. I'm literally coated in cat hair
right now. Yeah, like covered everywhere.
You got the cats. You talk about how allergic you
are to the cats all the time, and then you talk about how you

(01:02:40):
would die without. What was I supposed to do?
Let them die? I'm.
Just saying like they're slowly killing you because of your
allergies. Do you want?
Smokes to be in a shelter. Right now, But do you have any
medications and stuff? Know what I call animal
shelters? The upsetting zoo because it's
like a petting zoo, but you're upset when you're there because
I feel how chapped. My lips are.
What? My lips, lick my lips.

(01:03:02):
Oh my God. Dad, I told you they're bad.
Oh my God. I.
Keep licking them and biting them.
Stop. They're bad you.
Only like lick cardboard. Yeah, and your tongue kind of
like sticks to it. Yeah, it's like so dry.
It's like, and there's like a little, yeah, you're like, it
was like licking like recycled cardboard.
That's what your lips feel like right now.
Yeah, Isn't everyone super jealous of Mario?

(01:03:25):
Doesn't everyone? Want to be in a relationship
with me? I got like dead skin in my mouth
now. Fucking hot.
People will make good money for that, but we spent the whole
weekend in San Diego. I didn't even think we touched
on that. We did a little bit.
We went to the beach, we played spikeball, we played catch.
We went out. We went out.
It's a good. Did.
What's your favorite? What's?
Your we made hot. We made Seattle dogs.

(01:03:45):
Oh. My God, I'm gonna make a video.
Making Seattle dogs. Yeah, on my short form
platforms, I will be making a Seattle dog tutorial.
OK, because it's so good. It's.
So easy to make. They're so fucking good.
Oh my God. So I like staying at the Airbnb
with people. When you go to the grocery store
and you get your own food and you're just there hanging out,
like splurge on the Airbnb with a big group of people, get a

(01:04:05):
nice one. It had a it had a hot tub.
It had a pool. There's like a ping pong table
downstairs. It was a great, it was a great,
great, great time. What is your favorite city to
party in? What are your favorite cities to
party in? I have a bunch.
I have a bunch. Arizona, if I want to be like
club route, kind of. Yeah, Scottsdale's fun.
Yeah, well, and also Paddy's thedive bar I love.

(01:04:27):
Honestly if I could choose a time period for it that would be
helpful, but. No, right now I was like, hey,
let's go to this city and just have a weekend.
I do kind of like going out in Ellensburg sometimes.
OK, All right. What?
I'm talking about places I lived, if you haven't noticed.
Not LA. Not LA, not LA or Vegas really

(01:04:48):
either. I mean maybe like Fremont Street
or Arts District. Vegas has some spots.
But it's not like my favorite. Well, here's the thing about
Vegas. Because it's super expensive.
Yeah, deep pool, a little bit deep cut Gatlinburg.
I was going to mention Gatlin. Yeah, that was a fun.
Like Tennessee, Tennessee's got Nashville everyone fucking knows
about. A Tennessee football game.

(01:05:09):
Oh yeah no I know Tennessee is afun state.
Went to a Tennessee volunteers game against Alabama.
Craziest sporting event I've ever been to.
Like live sporting event like a college southern Tennessee game
against Alabama. It was like a jet engine the
entire game. 100,000 people shoulder to shoulder, so fucking
loud they tore down the field goal posts, smoking cigars.

(01:05:30):
It was just loud. It was just so much fun.
It was like like just a non-stopthe thrilling party.
Oh yeah, the guy in front of us threw up on the girl in front
of. Him, Oh yeah.
It was just madness. And just like Alabama fans,
Tennessee fans, everyone's mixedtogether.
They're screaming. They're it was just so much fun.
It was so much fun. The tailgate, like it was just,
Oh my God, Gatlinburg is up in the mountains, up in the Smoky

(01:05:50):
Mountains. Little teeny tiny touristy town,
but they have all these moonshine.
Tastings. Right, we're we're hopping
moonshine tasting to moonshine tasting and these people are so
fucking funny. Like literally serving you
different types of moonshine. You go all smoky.
You can go try cider. There's like all these tastings
all over the place. So you're getting you're getting

(01:06:11):
fucked up right. Bless you.
Add it to the sneeze count, sneeze count, sneeze count.
That's what Bren's up to in 2025right now, and boom, add it to
the sneeze count. New Orleans.
I want to go there too. I've been in New Orleans I don't
know how many Times Now. You go there, Pat O'Brien's

(01:06:33):
dueling piano bar, you get some hurricanes, you get some hand
grenades. You walk up and down, people are
flashing ya. Everyone's there for a good
time. Do not take your kids to New
Orleans, especially late at night.
Like it's just like a very fun club scene.
I don't like New York. I'm not a huge fan of New York
either. New.
York in general, but like, especially for going out and

(01:06:53):
stuff. For audible listeners, bring
stripping my. Neck is breaking out in hives.
Is actually, yeah, last place that was super fun to party in.
Yeah. And we didn't really do it
fully, but I want to go back. Salem.
Massive fucking cheeses. Oh fuck yeah.
Holy fuck, that was so much fun.We went to Salem this year
during Halloween and we're goingback.

(01:07:13):
I want to go back so fucking bad.
Like literally Hocus Pocus town.If you know, you know, and
you're walking around, there's all these tours, all this, like,
history of all this fucked up shit that was happening there.
But there's bars and there's gift shops and there's like, so
fun. It's so much fucking fun.
Like, I would like to go back toSalem, spend the day there.
Like we did do more. We, like, missed out on so many

(01:07:36):
haunted tours. Yeah.
Because it was so busy in October.
That time of year. Yeah, you just got to, you got
to plan. Ahead.
It's so fun and it's so perfect.I imagine going to that fall
move. Yeah, you imagine going out at
night there because they like haunted houses.
It's almost like Hollywood Horror Nights.
Have you been there? Not like Hollywood Hornets with
the roller coasters and the big Yeah, we went to that one.
It was just like. Yeah, but I wanna go to the

(01:07:57):
actual museums, yeah. Learn history.
I wanna go out at night in Salem.
As we were talking about towardsthe beginning of this episode,
we love kind of messed up history and the Salem witch
trials are. A good example of that I want to
go crazy in Salem that was that was like a really good fucking.
Time. I can't wait to talk to you guys
about Coachella next. Week.
Oh my God, I really am so much fun.

(01:08:18):
Might have a completely different opinion and
perspective than I did today, you never know.
Yeah, I have to pee so bad, OK. All right, we're going to end it
all right. Cheers, I love you.
I have to pee there. You go all right.
We love you guys. Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you and if you've watched
every episode comment I would I would love to know how many

(01:08:39):
people have made it this far have gone through this much.
But we appreciate you guys coming along on this journey.
We're having way too much fun making this podcast.
Follow us on all of our socials.Be on the lookout for more Q and
as I know that was last episode you.
Still have to set up the voicemail thing we're going to.
Yeah, we will. Let us let us know if you guys
liked last week's episode, you want more of that because we
really want to do that again. Yeah.

(01:09:00):
And Oh yeah, next week we're talking about Coachella and
Buck. Let us know if there's any
topics and stuff you guys want us to talk about.
Yeah, let us know what you're liking, what you're not liking.
We're coachable and approachableand that is it.
Make sure to follow us, we're pretty fun.
Follow us, we're pretty funny. Thanks guys.
Love you.