Episode 6: Preparation, Communication and Regulation with Dr. Christine Lang, How Moms Can Stay Ahead, Communicate Clearly & Keep Their Cool

🎙 Guest: Dr. Christine Lang, PhD, BCBA – Behavior Analyst & Communication Expert

This episode explores the three biggest game-changers for moms—preparation, communication, and regulation. Scrambling through the day, struggling to express needs, and feeling overwhelmed doesn’t have to be the norm. The key to success is preparation—but not in a way that leads to control. Instead, strategic preparation creates freedom and ease. This conversation will uncover the power of planning ahead, communicating without blame, and staying calm even when chaos unfolds.

SCRAMBLING VS. PREPARING

The difference between scrambling and preparing is the difference between stress and confidence. Scrambling looks like running late, forgetting things, and reacting to problems instead of preventing them. Preparation doesn’t mean controlling everything—it means setting up systems that reduce decision fatigue and last-minute panic.

When done right, preparation allows for more freedom, flexibility, and presence in daily life.

COMMUNICATING NEEDS WITHOUT BLAME

Keys to Effective Communication:

• Expressing wants and needs without blame or resentment.
• Reframing from “You never help” to “I need support with this.”
• Avoiding passive-aggression and instead being clear and direct.
• The importance of stating what’s needed, rather than expecting a partner to “just know.”

THE POWER OF PAUSE

• Pause – Actually pause; step back, breathe, find calm, name what is happening.
• Aware – Notice thoughts, feelings, sensations, and appreciate positive intent.
• Understand – Listen deeply to understand perspectives and needs.
• Search for solutions – Courageously address what needs attention.
• Experiment – Be creative in trying new ways to respond.

Learn more: SelfLeadershipCollaborative.com

REGULATION – STAYING CALM WHEN OTHERS ARE LOSING IT

Practical Strategies for Regulation:

• Simple techniques for staying calm in high-stress moments.
• Recognizing triggers and creating strategies to respond, not react.
• The connection between self-regulation and effective communication.

REFRAMING MOM GUILT

Mom guilt often stems from unrealistic expectations—trying to be everything for everyone at all times. A common struggle: the desire to be at every event, show up for every moment, and do it all.

LISTENER Q&A

1. “How do I get my partner to take on more of the mental load without feeling like I’m nagging?”
2. “What’s a simple way to stay calm when I feel myself about to lose it?”
3. “How do I ask for help without feeling guilty?”
4. “How do I manage my teen’s emotions?”

PINK SPOTLIGHT

• Christine’s Spotlight: The power of movement and its profound impact on our lives.
• Kristina’s Spotlight: The importance of listening.
• Christina’s Spotlight: This wagon for walks with the kids!

Links:

• Learn more about the power of pause: SelfLeadershipCollaborative.com
• Find Dr. Christine Lang: WestchesterBehavior.com
• Recommended podcast: Dr. Becky’s Good Inside episode on repair.

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