July 15, 2025 • 48 mins
Bret joins the pod to update how things have been the last 3 years. There have been changes, and change affects bathroom life.
--
Connect: www.privy-cast.com
Social and Contact Links: drum.io/privycast
--
To a Freer World and Cleaner Water: $1 Donated for every rating and review.
--
Music:
Intro and Outro: "Barroom Ballet" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
--
Privy is proud to be hosted by Podbean. Looking to start a podcast? Learn more at: https://www.podbean.com/Privycast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's kind of like the same thing the Squatch pulled, which is like, oh yeah, it'sdefinitely this lady's bath water.
It's not.
All of these people are like, huh, I gotta get some of that.
Just, you know, pick some random dude or lady and say, yeah, this is their soap scum.
15 bucks a bar should do it.
(00:21):
well, uh, rakin' some money.
Yeah, toss in a couple beard hairs every now and then just to give some authenticity.
what I won
Little something to exfoliate with in the middle there.
We never know.
You
(00:43):
Well, welcome back to Privy.
Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded in my home bathroom.
I am joined, have a guest this episode.
I am joined via the internet by Brett Rediger.
Brett, how are you?
Just so good.
It's a...
(01:04):
We just had like a monsoon.
We were gonna go camping this weekend and then it then it monsooned and we did not gocamping because I was like, I know if I want it.
Not worth it, especially with kids.
Like it's it's too tough to do anything camping with kids when it's just raining theentire time.
Yeah, we had like record June rain showers for the Willamette Valley.
(01:26):
It was crazy.
So we didn't brave it.
Yeah, it's not worth it.
no stuck in the tent or something or that whenever you're camping in and
Well, and that's just it.
It's like, well, we could try to sit in the tent and play games and do whatever, or we canget that here and the open and...
not asleep on wet ground.
(01:47):
So Brett, it's been three almost four years since we've talked via this podcast.
We've, we've texted each other here and there, mostly just like, Hey, here's a wild thingI saw on the internet.
Did you know about this?
Usually it's unfortunate news for people that we know, but whatever here we are.
(02:09):
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
But how have you been?
What sort of life updates, changes?
What do you want people that listen to a podcast about bathrooms, what do want them toknow about you over the last three or four?
Yeah, since the last podcast I got a bidet.
So that's probably the most relevant to bathrooms.
(02:32):
Not about it, surprisingly.
Really?
I thought it would be.
I think the main thing is like where my toilet is is too far away from the sink so I can'tget any warm or hot water on there.
So it's old, which I'm like, can stomach for a minute, but.
Yeah, at some point, so we too have installed a bidet since we last talked.
(02:53):
And you are exactly right.
At some point, like if you keep the pressure running.
Yeah.
If it's a constant stream, actually, I think you freeze the nerve endings in yourbutthole.
Maybe I need to let it run longer, I don't know.
Dude, okay, so, and if you're like, yeah, I'm not talking about that.
But the first time I ever got it, I think I had it turned up too high, and I think Iaccidentally gave myself an enema.
(03:21):
completely
Yeah, cause like I turned it off and then it was like...
What happened?
I didn't do that, that was something else.
Have you accidental animated yourself?
Not yet, not yet, so.
Have any of your kids discovered or do they love to use your play?
No.
only mind that I use, if I use or when I use.
(03:42):
It's in the master bathroom.
it's like,
Yeah, what's your wife think of it?
She's never used it either, she's like not about it.
She bought it for me actually though.
she, I mean that's saying something I guess.
Yeah, that's kind of saying like Ana bought it for me, but I actually think Ana uses itmore than I do.
(04:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
have to get it tested out.
I honestly forget that I have it and I get into my habit of just doing my thing and it-
yeah, cuz I still have toilet paper there and so like a lot of times I'm just like, that'sright.
Like well, yeah, we're here.
Okay
and then I still have to dry off.
Yes.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Me, I...
uh My buddy's got one that's got like an air dryer, which I'm like, dude, you're boo...
(04:26):
Yeah, okay, you're air drying it.
m
Well, so Brett, I have a couple things that I want to follow up with you from our lastepisode because I'm wondering if they were things that were said in the heat of the
moment.
Listener, if you remember last episode that Brett was on, was Brett and Erin Badleytogether in a threesome, if you would, just in time for the month of June.
(04:51):
You said something in your first time on this show about peeing in the shower,specifically with your wife involved.
Now...
Yes, yes.
Okay, coming back to you now.
Is this an act?
Is this a real thing?
Or is this like you're with badly?
Yeah.
I'm trying to think how much trouble I get it, you for what I say here, but no, yeah, it'sa rare occurrence, but to deny it would be...
(05:18):
Is it like a prank?
Kind of.
It's not like it's not a fetish per se or anything that's like, oh, this is enjoyable oranything.
But it's just like, oh, we're here.
Like, water's warm.
know?
I would probably follow the lines of, kind of a prank pretty much.
(05:40):
Like, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been able to, you know, actually.
Perfect.
Yeah, I you know I'm in my brain.
This is like the per almost the perfect like married couple Shower prank, know like thepeople that dump ice over the top.
That's diabolical But but like you just pop the corner Pee in the back of the shower whilethere it's like what's that weird smell?
(06:02):
Yeah.
Hey, you've motivated me uh I've not I pee in the shower like that's like
I like
I only hope that your wife hears this somehow.
yeah.
And is like...
(06:24):
What?
She's over there like, I thought it was just once.
What do you mean?
She's gonna start like, she's gonna have one of those little bike mirrors mounted up inthe shower now so that way.
Although that's probably worse to just like see that peek through the curtain like, huh?
I don't know if you'd see it but...
Oh no!
Nah, I'm just kidding.
But yes, I get what you're saying of the- Oh, okay.
(06:46):
Yep.
Here we are.
You know.
Um, and then the last time you, had made a comment, have you, have you performed a wafflestomp since we left last talk?
I mean, not with the stomp, but there has been an accidental discharge, if you know whatI'm saying.
Yeah, yeah.
(07:06):
I was pretty sick and stuff and it was just a, yeah, it came up and got me and I was like,all right, let's host that bad boy.
But no desire to touch.
So yeah, was fair.
I don't think you can clean your feet enough after that.
You probably can, but.
(07:26):
Yeah, you know the shower does a lot more than you think it would.
It actually accomplishes a lot of good for you.
I find that it actually gets your feet pretty clean.
um, do you, do you still poop exclusively naked?
This is...
Not exclusively, but that is preferential for sure.
It's like, there's something about it of just freeing, you know, restrained, likeespecially the pants, like being able to separate your legs just a little more for me
(07:55):
helps with my form is how I would say it.
Yeah, yeah, you got to get everything lined up just right.
I am curious, so with kids, I don't know, maybe your kids are either like better behavedor maybe I...
So I don't lock the bathroom door.
It's a problem, but my kids will just come in and I'll be in the middle of my job and it'slike, can you go away?
(08:21):
Mmm, so I have the four-ship part.
We have a baby gate at our front door still right now just for animals more so the dog tokeep him out but it works for the kids too so I and mine's through the bedroom and then in
the bathroom, so I'm like Solo in there Han Solo, know just
You've got a series of obstacles that somebody's gotta go through to access you.
(08:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And usually I can hear them coming so I can sound the alarm or something and start yellingbefore they even make progress.
I'm like, Hey, this is dad's quiet time.
Like, yeah, you need to wait an hour and a half at least.
I'll be out then.
I'll be out then.
um I'm like, I'm trying to, you know, pooping naked while I totally get the preferred.
I'm sitting here going just the optics if my kid was like, dad, huh?
(09:09):
What are you doing?
It's like, well, this is this is what we do now.
Welcome to the club.
Yeah.
Yeah, I get-
And then a couple of things that I did not ask you last time that I need as a data pointand mostly it's going to help.
I find that as we get older, we turn into different things, but do you prefer bar soap orliquid soap?
The big, the big hard hitting questions here.
(09:31):
Yeah, I probably have to go with liquid soap like using wise bar soap But I don't like thestorage aspect of bar soap and I don't have no plastic containers or something But like I
don't know liquid just seems a little easier, but I never feel like it's as fresh of aclean as a bar is
Yeah, you know that
to both, but...
Yeah, I...
Okay, so I have found that as we get older, we tend more toward bar.
(09:56):
I don't know if that's a real stat, but like, I find that especially when there's been twoor three years in between, people are like, no, I've switched to bar.
It's the path forward for me.
But the storage is a problem.
You get that weird scum.
Yep.
Yep.
And it behind on the bar.
And it depends what kind of bar or something too, but yeah.
(10:19):
Yeah, we've got like, I've got a bar right now and I've got like this little catcherthingy and then like the bottom catches all of the scum.
And then that's disgusting.
You gotta clean that.
But like, it's not in the shower, which is kinda nice.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's nice, yeah.
Little easier.
Yeah.
Think about it like.
Now I wonder if you could like scrape that out.
(10:42):
like repurpose the scum into its own bar over time.
Melt it down.
collect all the scum there and get a little boiling water, put it on top, start skimmingit again.
Get all the impurities out.
will, I will.
you can make that bar of soap and I will not buy it, probably.
You know that there's some weird like, Oregon hippie out there though, that if you tookthat to a farmer's market and was like, yeah, it's organic, we're reducing, we're reusing,
(11:16):
we're recycling, we don't want any waste.
So it's actually twice as much as the original bar, but you're actually saving the planetsomehow.
You should buy it.
I bet you there's a market for this somewhere.
I don't know that market.
The picture of whose like bar of soap it was made from, whose scumbar it is.
(11:38):
it's like this is under a scumbar.
what's the best selling line?
You know?
Alright.
I mean going off of the bar of soap that's apparently making the news lately.
That's what came to my mind all of sudden.
Wait, what's this?
yeah, yeah, the- It's Dr.
(12:00):
Squatch.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
There's some, gosh, what's her name?
Some famous lady, I can't remember who it is.
But I think it's Dr.
Squatch that did it.
Yeah, it's like the bath water.
Yeah, dude, it's so shady.
it's like, hmm.
No, they also just put out a SpongeBob scent.
(12:20):
I'm gonna tend towards that, I think.
I think I'd rather smell like SpongeBob than some ladies bath water.
I'll pass.
But in just as much as that is creepy, you saying that, like it stirred something in me,which is the same demographic of person that's like getting on the internet for like weird
feet pics.
(12:42):
I guarantee you there is soap scum perverts out there that they would, I mean it's like,hey.
And you don't, is like how do they know?
It's kind of like the same thing the Squatch pulled, which is like, yeah, it's definitelythis lady's bath water, it's not.
oh
All these people are like, huh, I gotta get some of that.
(13:04):
Just, you know, pick some random dude or lady and say, yeah, this is their soap scum.
15 bucks a bar should do it and we'll.
We'll rake in some money.
Yeah, toss in a couple beard hairs every now and then just to give some authenticity.
And I go, look at that, look what I won.
(13:25):
Little something to exfoliate with in the middle there.
You never know.
This is why we do this more often mostly just for the business idea.
I know, right?
like, of making money off this.
Well, probably not.
But we could theorize.
We could theorize.
But hey, people will pay for anything.
um I'm currently on a legal, I'll say legal, it is legal, but I'm on, I am on like,there's like places where you can donate stool for like research and stuff.
(13:54):
I'm on like four of these lists right now.
Like waiting for the, just waiting for the callback.
Mostly for the research.
But they give you like 50 bucks a sample and I'm going, that's like some of the easiestmoney I will have ever made.
Okay, send me those links.
Right!
Yeah, I like it.
But the screening, so the biggest thing is, is I have to get my bathrooming, dude, this ishow committed, I have to get my bathrooming down to like less than three times a day.
(14:26):
Yeah, so I go three or four, but they want you on two to three, consistent.
That's about where I'm at.
Hey, maybe it's you then, because to overshare, my consistency is not what they wanteither.
They want it more firm.
Yeah, that's where I'd struggle with.
Change up the diet.
Maybe look at some fiber.
(14:46):
I've been doing, truly, this is real, part of it is just health, but other is that.
I've been doing intermittent fasting and low sugar, as minimal carbs as we can hit up andtrying to keep fiber protein focus.
It has helped, but I think the coffee is what does me.
Yeah, yeah, same.
It's like how many cups have I had today?
(15:08):
that's why
It's more than three.
Yeah.
Before noon, Something I didn't ask you or Aaron is when your toilet paper is on the roll,and I don't know how I didn't ask this, because it's the debate is over.
you go over or under?
I know I prefer to have it over so like it rolls down towards me but if you have catssometimes I know that can be an issue.
(15:37):
Or toddlers I guess but they both they unroll it no matter what a toddler's.
mostly the same.
It's something about the rip closer towards you instead of, and I think it comes fromprobably using public bathrooms.
If you roll it away, you kind of have to tear and you're like running the risk of hittingthe wall.
public bathrooms so yeah the amtms you know like all the rest areas i think i talked aboutthe amtms eggnog the kerfuffle there
(16:14):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I still relive that day in my mind sometimes.
I'm like, that was rough.
That was rough.
Yeah, yeah.
My buddy texted me this week.
He goes, dude, don't use the restrooms in Umatilla, Oregon.
He goes, they are crusty.
And I said, send me a picture.
Like immediately he goes, no, no, I already left.
(16:36):
I was scared to take my phone out of my pocket.
I was like, you're killing me.
Go out, take it out, and then walk in with it already out.
It's all in your brain.
Just pretend you're.
Yeah.
Dang, okay, and then do you have a restaurant or an eating establishment that does you thedirtiest?
top my head.
like I'm not, know, like Taco Bell obviously always has a little something but I feel likethat's not that bad anymore.
(16:59):
It just kind of depends what you get.
But the thing that surprises me is energy drinks.
Constipated and backed up from those.
Really?
Yeah, which is the opposite of coffee pretty much.
So it's always kind of weird because I'm like, man, like normally clockwork like four or5pm get home like clock it out and
(17:20):
If I had an energy drink that day or something, kind of like, well, not happening rightnow.
So weird.
Yeah.
Maybe I need to sub in like an energy drink for one of my morning cups to see if it like.
Just baselines my three to.
Get you down to that two to three.
maybe.
Get some numbers down.
(17:41):
That's crazy.
Which energy drink, like is it just kind of any of them or is it?
higher caffeinated ones like if I have like a rain or a bang which I try not to drinkbecause I'm like oh man that's 300 milligrams of caffeine that's like four or five cups of
coffee and a cup of coffee is what like 80 or something I think depending you know on theroast and how much you drink
(18:04):
That's where I gotta get Chad Nicks in the room and be like, hey, tell me, tell me whatdoes me on this.
Yeah.
Wow, didn't, I don't know if I've ever heard of that.
Your body's specially designed to like...
Convert it in to- breakfast, having an energy drink instead, I don't know, like- Maybe,but-
(18:27):
like you have perfectly summed up the adult experience.
We're not doing breakfast and just throw caffeine at the mix and wolf out.
Yeah, mean, I tell my mom about this.
My mom is like, they had me older.
And so I tell her the stuff and I'm like, she goes, well, you gotta eat breakfast.
(18:52):
I was like, no, I don't.
I don't even think about eating anything probably until 10, 11 o'clock.
Yeah, yeah.
goes, well, doesn't your stomach get empty?
was like, well, no, it's full of coffee and water.
Like, it's pretty consistently full of caffeine.
liquid in there, so I'm good.
Coffee's got some nutrition to it, right?
(19:12):
Yeah.
We're gonna come up with some sort of protein coffee that would, I'm sure it exists.
that like was it uh bullet coffee I think where you put like a stick of butter in yourcoffee and you drink it with that It was a keto thing.
I think it's where it originated from or something because it's like Okay, maybe not awhole stick of butter.
(19:33):
don't know but like you put a lot of butter in there and it actually is pretty fillinglike And if I remember correctly the taste wasn't like terrible like it wasn't bad it was
kind of like a oh yeah, but
you're you know just down in some butter with your coffee so you're kind of like huh
So when you do food things like that, what is your wife's response?
(19:58):
I think she brought that one up to be honest.
What?
Yeah, I was doing Wow.
Not that we had a keto phase, but we were like, oh, looking for diets.
And it's like, oh, we'll try this.
Try And you're like, oh, OK, that's not feasible.
Drop But you pick up some stuff where you're like, OK, maybe that's not bad.
But if your diet consists of eating half a stick of butter or something like that, it'sprobably not a good diet.
(20:22):
Every morning, every week I'm going through a Costco six pack of butter sticks.
Yeah, yeah, these psychographies helpin', but yeah, where's all the butter?
Crazy.
I did try substituting peanut butter for butter once though with mashed potatoes, Ibelieve it was.
Okay, wait a minute.
(20:43):
That one wasn't so great.
I had to force that one down.
See that sub works in like pancakes and
Yeah, yeah, nope.
We had no butter.
I was like, well, you're supposed to put some in.
And I was like, these can be really bland.
I was like, peanut butter's not butter.
But it is butter, right?
Like it's in the name.
(21:03):
And little protein taters, I guess.
Did you taste the peanut butter?
Not, it wasn't super strong.
I must have not have put a whole lot in, but like, I remember they were like a brownish,like, I don't know, I'm trying to think, like, a bit like beige, brown, compared to just
kind of like a, you know, creamy white or something.
(21:24):
I was like, yeah.
When I was in seventh grade, we had a cooking class and my teacher gave us a recipe tofollow for mashed potatoes.
And my friends and I, being the know-it-alls that we were, said it's mashed potatoes.
We got it, it's in the name.
So we cut up the potatoes and then immediately mashed them.
(21:46):
Notice there was no cooking.
And so we just had this pile of gray sludge, because we were like hand mashing rotators.
At which point we went...
Something went wrong here.
in the oven and we just stuck the pile in the oven and it came out like this very gray,bad looking hash brown.
(22:07):
How did it taste though?
Alright, alright.
It was like still crunchy.
That weird potato crunch.
I think my teacher said that it was actually not safe to eat because like raw potatoes arebad for you.
the private didn't cook correctly, yeah.
Yeah, no, was, nah, it was real bad.
It looked like the food that they would serve in some sort of strange sci-fi future.
(22:32):
to the people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was bad.
So I have some round two questions.
That was kind of like a little catch up.
Yeah.
And we've already kind of, but has, has your bathroom life changed other than the bidet,which I, that's a good addition, whether or not, you know, you lean into it or not.
Has your bathroom life changed in any other way in the last three or four years?
(22:56):
No, honestly, the hardest thing for me is like going from working a day shift to nightshift with bathroom like that messes up my insides just and so then there's no consistency
with like, hey, like, I don't know if you're on a schedule where you're like, you know,you said three to four times a day if you're like, oh, yeah, it's 8am, like noon, 5pm.
Oh, yeah.
It's more before bed.
(23:17):
It's Yeah.
So mine gets kind of tossed around and that's that's what I can think of like change wisejust in general.
But that's like a reoccurring change every two months.
So it's like
Well, normally I wake up and go at 3am because I go to work.
oh.
But then-
It's just not consistent, but that's something I didn't think about, like the night shift,day shift.
(23:41):
It makes sense.
Yeah, because sometimes I work, you know, 4 a.m.
to 2 p.m.
or something like that.
But then I work, you know, 6 p.m.
to 4 a.m.
And so it's like, we're, you know, and I try not to go at work if I can help it.
Yeah, knock on wood, I guess.
Yeah.
When it, like, does it have to get so bad before you say, like, I'm just taking it?
(24:06):
yeah, because, I work for my car, so it's like either I have to drive to an office or ormy house, which is kind of out in the county or something like that.
so, yeah, and then take off a bunch of stuff.
And it's just.
It's more of a battle than you would think it would need to be, but.
So I try to clean it out right before, but then when you switch day shift to night shift,you're like, well, my internal clock's accustomed to this time, right, when I'm, you know.
(24:31):
Right.
Yeah.
That's a mess.
Yeah, yeah.
So I find myself just like holding it a lot of times.
That's why I'm drinking energy drinks.
I'm like, we got to make it through this shift without running into some trouble today.
People were like, man, he must be tired.
He's really trying to caffeinate it.
(24:52):
And you're like, no, Stop everything from moving.
Do you ever have a snack or a drink?
We'll start with the shower, because that one's, I think, more acceptable than where we'regoing.
always remember trying to have a shower beer or something, but it just wasn't really forme.
like, all right, there's really no point to this.
(25:14):
Either you have to hold it with one hand up or set it off somewhere.
And if your shower or bath isn't set up for that, which mine isn't, I'm getting that scumin there or something, my luck.
So that's kind of, I'm currently doing like a research project to figure out like what thebest canned beverages for the shower.
(25:36):
And you know, the hummingbird nectar that I found at Walmart is, it's actually not doingbad.
Okay.
When it's, see, so this is one of the things is like how wobbly is the can while it reststhere?
And the worst was that little buzz ball cans That shape was like it was practicallyrolling off the thing and I like this is a disaster So yeah, I I feel that I totally um
(26:10):
What about what about snack you ever have like a food snack?
I don't think so, not that's popping in my memory.
What about on the...
Do you ever do any of those on the toilet?
No.
No.
can't say I do.
I'm thinking like, yeah, like that one I feel like would almost be.
(26:30):
It's less socially acceptable, but more convenient in the sense of like, you have yourhands free, you know, or whatever, usually on your phone, like what's, mean, yep, it's not
hygienic, I guess, but.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you know, it gives you something to aspire to.
Yeah, reload in as you're...
(26:52):
Yeah.
heard some wild people like I have on occasion.
I'm I'm less of a bathroom, like a toilet snacker.
I'm a big time shower drink like Polar Seltzer, the like little polar seltzer waters.
Dude, those are.
Those are so good in the shower because it's like they're small.
(27:13):
About the time you drink one, your showers done like the water getting in it, it doesn'tdilute it really like it doesn't mess with the flavor because it's already kind of
Not got a lot of flavor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do like my my peak.
My peak shower is like I've just mowed the lawn and then shower with one of those.
(27:33):
It's.
Okay, yeah, that adds up.
In the same train of thought of like eating stuff in the bathroom, have you ever, have youever like tried to eat or take a bite of deodorant?
Maybe accidentally, not intentionally obviously, but like, you know, sometimes like ifhave a stick it falls out, which I actually use spray now.
So I don't use the stick anymore when I do use deuterant, but.
(27:55):
What sort of spray you rocking?
That's a good question.
uh I don't know, whatever the wife buys.
think it's like, right guard or something right now or oh something along those lines orsomething.
Maybe, I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm fortunate that I don't sweat a whole lot naturally, so I don't use deodorant a wholelot unless it's a warm day out or something.
(28:18):
Right.
Right, yeah, yeah, so you know, there was this deodorant brand that Ana was buying for awhile, and they were doing weird stuff.
Like they had like candy-scented deodorants, and they all these different, and one waslike toasted vanilla marshmallow, and dude, it smelled so good.
I took a run at it, and yeah, see, it was bad.
(28:41):
um
I knew that this was going to taste like and I did it still.
It's still, but it's one of those things where it's like, how do they get it to smell sogood, but it tastes so far away from that?
was, I don't know, it was baffling to me.
So I, you know, I learned a lot.
um How do you deal, like, how are you with throw up?
(29:04):
Like my own or someone else's?
I mean, you're just like, I'm a big fan of my own.
No, no, no.
My smell in my throat makes me throw up again usually, but give or take.
no.
I wouldn't say I'm a fan.
I don't think most people are.
I can handle it.
Not as well as my wife.
Not as well as my wife.
Like when the kids are sick or something.
I always remember there's one specific instance my middle child was sick and like puked.
(29:28):
like, I don't remember him eating hot dogs at any point, but there's like little chunks ofhot dogs or something all over.
And I was like, you know, I can't do this right now.
to call in some reinforcements with her on that.
Man.
Have you ever gotten thrown up on?
Yeah.
actually.
Actually, earlier this- Kids?
Yeah.
(29:48):
one specific that I remember was like, gosh, when was this?
March or April or something like that?
My wife had actually just left on a trip, so I had all three kids.
And I had worked the next day, I believe, and I was gonna drop the kids off at my parents'house for the night.
It's like 7 p.m.
My youngest is just laying on me, I have a blanket on.
And they're like, oh, like, he's so tired.
(30:09):
And then they kinda like looking at him like, is he sick?
And then all of sudden just, bleh, like.
obscene amount straight liquid throw up to it wasn't like food chunking anything it's likehe just only drank orange juice or something that night and just seep through the blanket
all over my shirt like through my pants on my underwear and I'm just like
Love it.
This is a peak, this is peak parenting experience.
(30:33):
Yeah, sure that wasn't my first time.
just that one was probably the worst because it was just straight up on me straight liquidsoaked through, know everything I'm like, I'm gonna use the shower real quick.
Like you guys will hold them.
Yeah, so then I had to Yeah, I had to take him home with me that night.
So I called out from work the next day and then he ended up puking about every half hourfor like 14 hours straight
(30:56):
Like, yeah, just dry heaving and stuff at some point, give him a little bit of liquid andthen just kind of right back out.
He was a champ about making it in the bucket and he was like, two and a half or two andthree quarters, you know, approaching three, but like as hard as a two year old.
And he'd like get up and like go for the bucket and wouldn't make it every time, but likepretty consistent.
(31:17):
I'm like, well, love it.
Yeah.
Dang, dude, that's crazy.
That, kids getting sick is, it's the worst.
It's like.
Yeah.
And the funny thing is I came from a family who it's like, oh, if you're throw up, likerun to the bathroom, make it in the toilet, right?
Cause you can just flush it.
Which that's what I usually do.
Like I'd sit in front of the toilet and throwing up.
then for some reason that toilet bell smell wafts up right in my face.
(31:40):
And then I'm like gagging on my throw up and I'm like trying to flush it as I'm throwingup more.
And then it won't flush again cause you just flush and you're smelling it.
You're like, oh.
And then my wife was a, she's a bowl thrower, upper right.
So you have a bowl.
Yep.
Cause it's right there, you just roll over, go into it.
I'm like, the difference is my vomit is aggressive a lot of times.
(32:01):
So I'm like, I don't know how you throw up in a bowl because mine would be splattered allover my face.
splash back.
Gosh, yeah.
We, and I, so she had like terrible morning sickness, both pregnancies, and then had someweird stomach stuff for a while.
We bought so many of those.
Oh look, there's one there.
(32:22):
A little sick.
We've probably got like 200 of them in our house.
I've got them like dead dropped all over my home.
That's actually smart.
Which people sometimes they're like, oh that's excessive.
But last week, last week or two, both of my kids got the 24 hour tummy thing.
And I kid you not, my son snagged one of those dead drops in the car and just.
(32:45):
I was like, yikes.
Yes, that's a parent win right there.
All I heard was the sound and I went, oh.
Like, dude, the back seat of my car.
And I said, bud, just try not to make a mess with it.
It's in the bag.
Let's go!
He snagged it, he found one.
That's awesome.
Yeah, the dead drops, don't, yeah.
(33:07):
I need it for underwear too sometimes, but.
Do you examine your poop before you flush it?
Like, do you take a look at what's going on?
Yeah, yeah, you know, you're supposed to right?
That's medical.
Allegedly.
I don't know.
It depends, especially if it's like one of those ones where you're like, but there's timeswhere it's like there's too much toilet paper sometimes to even.
(33:29):
yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
But no, like if I'm, you know, just chilling, I'll take a look down under and be like, OK,like.
Yeah, you know.
You mentioned earlier, so you're using the phone on the toilet.
What's your go-to phone routine on the toilet?
What are we doing?
Doom scroll.
Doom Scroll for the most part.
(33:51):
I don't know if I have any apps that I'm like actively playing or doing or something likethat.
Yeah.
Used to do the old school runescape out there a little bit, you know.
Do you still play?
Uhhh, I haven't played in a couple months but I did just redo my membership so, Aaron-
That's still actively playing.
(34:12):
Like within the calendar year.
Yeah, no for sure so, you know It's a hit and miss Aaron's actually passed me up and Istarted like that account two years before him or something and he went hard but Wow,
yeah, I'm trying to get back into it.
I'm like, alright, I'll do it.
So Yeah, so those ones where it's like, you know a lot of the games these days you can'tjust like especially if it's like an online thing you can't just stop and go and deal with
(34:39):
kids or whatever if it's like nap time or something like that where
in RuneScape I was like, you can just log off and you're good.
This is gonna be a level of nerd that maybe it's autism, I don't know.
Which Lego video game is being played behind you right now?
Yes.
That is the Lego Batman, actually.
(35:00):
I actually just bought that one like a week ago for the...
It's like three bucks.
like, I'll do...
I'm like watching and I'm like, all right, that's definitely a Lego game.
But I thought it was Star Wars for a second, but.
No, we do have that one too though, but...
Dude the LEGO video games are so good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I got a little wild
(35:20):
They've got like a Lego Marvel.
It's pretty in depth, like the number of characters and all the superpowers and stuff.
It's kind of great.
That's wild.
Would you ever talk to somebody on the phone?
Like have the conversation while on the toilet?
Yeah, yeah, I've done it before.
It's always the best when like my boss calls me or something, you know, and I'm just like,Hey, what's up?
(35:41):
There's the echo in the background.
He's like, what you up to?
And I'm like, you know, just taking the browns or whatever.
And yeah, it's, it's chill.
But yeah, it's like the irony of like, well, I'm pooping.
So do you me to go do something or?
Right.
Yeah.
dude, that's.
That's brave of you.
if, I think, man, that's pretty bold.
If I was sitting in the toilet and the list of people that could call me that I'd be like,bam, we got this.
(36:08):
My boss is so not on that list.
Mostly because any given year at the school, it's a woman.
Like every other year it's been lady.
And I'm like,
Alright, fair enough.
You know, one of the boys, I'd answer, I always answer if it's my wife, because shedoesn't want to talk to me if I'm on the toilet, and she's like, are you in the bathroom?
I'm like, maybe.
(36:28):
Click, and I'm like, dang it.
I got caught.
Almost Adam.
I got caught.
This is the fourth time trying to call me today.
You caught me every time I'm in the toilet.
You know my schedule.
When you wash your hands, do you wet first or do you soak first?
They're wet first.
Wet first.
(36:48):
Yeah, that's barbaric to go straight to soap.
It doesn't spread as easily.
What if you got like liquid soap though?
Yeah, it still isn't the same.
Like, unless you have a copious amount of liquid soap, like, I don't know.
In my mind, it doesn't quite spread as easily.
They're probably just, when they're wet, it's probably just the soap running off more so.
(37:10):
in theory, like to get them primed a little bit.
I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, bye.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'm broken because if it's wet soap, I just go straight for wet soap.
Yeah, and I think because I turned the sink on first like naturally I'm right there andthen pre wet.
Yeah But nope, definitely pre wet
(37:31):
do you do any like pattern tracing or like bowl acrobatics when you pee?
yeah, all the time.
uh Right.
Well, especially like in the snow or stuff, right?
You're drawing an org off, trying to draw some sort of artistic painting.
Trying to write somebody else's name so they get framed.
exactly.
But no, yeah, definitely try to aim around the sides of the toilet.
But it depends too if it's nighttime, right?
(37:52):
Like there's that sweet spot where it's just nice and quiet.
No one hears it.
Yeah.
no kids up.
Yep.
Yep.
The back right on my side or front left sometimes.
The worst is when you try aiming for it, but you don't want to turn the light on and it'snighttime because you know you're going to wake yourself up because I have those.
(38:13):
We have.
We have a toilet light.
Yeah, it's like a little motion activated.
It's like seven bucks on Amazon.
And you can even change the colors.
It like, you walk, yeah, comes in a two pack and it's dude, for us, it's like, it'swhatever.
Like we're grown adults.
We can figure it out.
But for the kids, especially my son, game changer for the night peak is it's, there wouldbe times where, you know, it would start and then you would hear dad.
(38:41):
It's like, what is it?
I think I missed it.
Yeah.
Oh, that is a game.
Yeah
Give a good pass at it.
Huh, cause yeah, we have those bright LED lights.
I flick them on and like, well, I'm awake now.
(39:01):
that's yeah.
I'm going to have to definitely look that up.
So.
Yeah, yeah, it's been a game changer.
I was pretty skeptical.
My wife bought them as kind of a stocking stuff for weird thing.
And I was like, okay, whatever.
And I put it on, like, this is great.
To the point where I've changed the battery in it like three or four times now.
(39:22):
It's a regular use.
Okay.
Do you use the weird toilet seat cover things?
I know you said you don't do much like public bathroom.
So you hook over the top of it or whatever
Yeah, I've heard them called like ass gaskets, but I don't know like...
You're talking about like the furry stuff that goes on the toilet lid or whatever?
No, no, no, it's like the weird paper like...
(39:44):
They're usually back behind.
Public yes.
No, I use toilet paper instead.
I just take like three sections and place it on the right one on the left.
Don't know probably I don't know why I'm weird like that.
I'm like, well, it's toilet paper It's probably cleaner than those things in my mindbecause you don't have probably hands going up and you know You peel the first one off
throw that
(40:04):
don't even know how to use those.
Yeah, I tried once and I don't know.
Cause I have to like rip it but then I don't...
cause then it stays on there it's not like you rip the middle part out.
Yeah, someone told me that the middle part goes down in the water so when you flush itsucks it down.
my thing is then it gets in the way of what I'm doing.
(40:26):
I don't like that.
uh
Yeah, yeah, And then I you know when I wipe I always I do have some movement because Ilike to get one cheek up so with that thing like I feel like it you have risk half of it
falling in and then if you go to switch to the other cheek to get the other you know likeyou know sometimes your angles where toilet paper kind of sticks to you
You
(40:48):
Little more than those.
So let's go one side too.
And I take that one off, throw it in.
And then I'm just like, all right, we're only going left cheek rise today.
Now you got me wondering, like the people that use those, how do they wipe?
Because you are so right.
uh
Cause you're like, it's kinda, yeah, I don't know.
I gotta find one day I will not very many people use them.
(41:10):
I've talked to people and they're like, I know.
I'm a hard pass.
One day I will find somebody that's an avid user and it's going to be like, okay, I needyou to run me through play by play on how you.
Yeah.
Train me on these.
Cause I'm, I'm not understanding it.
When you, when you go poop, do you ever create like a poop nest where you, you like, youput some paper in first and then you poop into the paper.
So it kind of catches it.
(41:31):
Not intentionally, I don't like set out to do that, but I always wipe like those publicbathrooms down first, because there's always like pee coming out there and I'm like, oh
great.
then naturally there's something in there which just catches it and you're like, oh,that's a pretty little nest there, I suppose.
There was a time in my life where I could tell I was gonna have a big one, like a bigturd, and I didn't like the mermaid kiss, the backsplash, and so I would throw a bunch of
(41:57):
paper in as like, soften the blow.
I definitely get that.
Yeah, I, you know, things that we do.
When you take a shower, do you scrub your legs every time?
No, no, depends.
How many?
Like sometimes I take two showers in a day, right?
Right, right, right.
And like, it just kind of depends, but.
(42:18):
Yeah.
Okay, legs, yes.
Like feet, calves, ankles.
I would say knee down.
I'm talking.
Yeah.
Knee down, no, but I'm like, yeah, dude, that's too much work to get down sometimes.
And I'm like, you know, I showered this morning or when I got home and then I went to thegym and it's like, okay, like I rubbed down everything, get down, my knees and it's like,
all right, that's been covered by the fallout from everything up here, right?
(42:39):
Like that's probably probably the only way I can justify it is to bring down.
That is exactly why this question is on here because I had somebody tell me like, hey, Iwash my legs once a week and I went, and you're in the same room as me?
No.
But it's like, he goes, yeah, but the soap, it just rinses everything down.
It cleans it.
Gravity, it's gravity fed.
(43:00):
I'm like,
I also don't have a whole lot of space in my shower, so unless I turn my shower head, thenI can get it, but when I go down, it's already rinsing off and I'm not gonna get a whole
new squirt in my hand just to do my ankles and knees, so I'm like, yeah.
Right.
Yeah, that's fair.
So I'm going tell you, that's all of my round two questions.
(43:20):
Do you have, and no worries if you don't, because it's kind of, do you have any likebathroom stories that you want to share before I put out for some bathroom wisdom from
you?
I don't know if I shared this last time, but the only thing I can think of off the top ofmy head just on a whim here is, you know, working in law enforcement.
Like we have the perks of having some wee-woos on top of our car.
(43:44):
And you know, you have to go places to use the restroom.
There's a term, code brown, which has been maybe completed before, maybe not.
Statue of limitations isn't up, but...
It's hard to tell if somebody has ever done that.
You never know.
You never know.
I'm just saying I haven't personally but I have heard stories out there.
(44:05):
Yeah, like, you know, when you're all...
When you're all gathered...
No!
Like, what are you gonna do?
Go in your pants?
Like...
Yeah.
I, five gallon bucket, I used to know a guy who drove Amazon trucks.
He goes, they don't give us anywhere to go to the bathroom or time to stop.
I crap in a bucket, dude.
She's back in my Amazon truck.
(44:25):
And I'm like, that's what's floating around back there with all my packages.
Have good day.
Yeah, I think you delivered the wrong package.
Yeah, I was sir.
Yeah of all You know people I've come in contact with I've only had two that I canremember use that they're about to crap their pants as an excuse Yeah, I both of them go I
(44:46):
was like dude, you wouldn't believe this but the amount of times I've actually heard thisas an excuse is like you're the first one like have a good day Yeah, you go take care of
that Yeah, I
We had a, he had like a, he was like door to door salesman selling like solar panels andhe knocked on ours and he tried to sell me solar panels.
I was like, actually I'm good.
(45:06):
And he goes, all right, this is going to be awkward, but I need to, can I use yourbathroom?
I was like, I guess, like you gotta go, you gotta go.
Baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do.
Well, Brett, do you have any bathroom wisdom you want to leave folks with?
Wisdom.
Plan ahead.
I don't know.
That's probably what I'd say.
(45:27):
Nothing worse than when you freshly sit down and you get a text, a call, your child, can Ihave milk?
Can I do this?
Like, hey I need your help with this and you're like...
you know, like sometimes you can't hold it and it's like, nope, SOS, this is an emergency.
You're on your own, sorry.
But there's a lot of times where it's like, yeah, give me a second.
Like I'll stand back up.
(45:48):
haven't started yet, but you're mentally, you're started already and you're like, youknow, have to get in the head space.
Emotionally you're there for bathroom.
mean, and there's two types of poopers, right?
Well, there's probably multiple, but in the sense of like there's ones that are quick,like, hey, this is efficient, let's get it done, get out and get going.
And then there's the, I'm gonna doom scroll, I'm gonna spend half an hour in here and thisis my me time kind of.
(46:10):
And I'm the latter.
So for those of us who like to take our time in there, plan accordingly.
I, dude, I'm kind of a hybrid, because my whole job's done in 30 seconds to a minute, butthen I do them scroll for three or four.
I wrap it up under 10 usually, but a bulk of that is not.
(46:31):
for sure.
Active.
Active, yeah, no.
yeah, I get that.
But I always feel like if you sit there a little longer, there's always a little bit moreyou can finish.
it's like, that's the...
Especially when you're out on a time constraint, like if it's before work, it's like, no,dude, we're just, being efficient.
This is a five minute at longest.
yeah, so there is that, but...
(46:52):
But once you're on the clock, at least for me, dude, I mean, at the high school, it'stough, because if there's class, they give us less than seven minutes, then they start
calling.
But man, if it's break, maybe I'm like, yes, sir.
I will be here.
I'm not out watching kids.
I'm in here.
Yeah.
Allegedly.
(47:12):
Well sweet Brett.
Well hey, thank you so much for doing this again.
I know you guys have got a busy schedule, but I appreciate you doing it.
Yeah, of course, always glad to be here and catch up with you too and yeah, share somemore stories, you know.
Yeah, I'll have to give you a call sometime off the podcast.
(47:33):
Cool, Catch up and.
It's weird, because I see y'all's stuff online and whether it's Facebook or whatever thatyou or your wife posts, and it's been cool to kind of see your guys' lives and the kids
every now and then.
But it's an interesting thing.
So it's cool to see the people that aren't running into issues.
(47:58):
Oh man, yeah, I uh...
Well hey, I'm gonna end the recording.
That's fine.
And then I have a question for you.
Okay.
About that.
um, listener, thank you so much for being here.
You can find links for all the things down in the thing.
Words don't work right now.
Thanks to Kevin and Pondington for the use of your music.
(48:21):
This has been another episode of Privy.
Brett, thanks for being here.
Thank you all for listening.
And now, as always, don't forget to flush.
It's kind of like the same thing the Squatch pulled, which is like, oh yeah, it'sdefinitely this lady's bath water.
It's not.
All of these people are like, huh, I gotta get some of that.
Just, you know, pick some random dude or lady and say, yeah, this is their soap scum.
15 bucks a bar should do it.
(00:21):
well, uh, rakin' some money.
Yeah, toss in a couple beard hairs every now and then just to give some authenticity.
what I won
Little something to exfoliate with in the middle there.
We never know.
You
(00:43):
Well, welcome back to Privy.
Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded in my home bathroom.
I am joined, have a guest this episode.
I am joined via the internet by Brett Rediger.
Brett, how are you?
Just so good.
It's a...
(01:04):
We just had like a monsoon.
We were gonna go camping this weekend and then it then it monsooned and we did not gocamping because I was like, I know if I want it.
Not worth it, especially with kids.
Like it's it's too tough to do anything camping with kids when it's just raining theentire time.
Yeah, we had like record June rain showers for the Willamette Valley.
(01:26):
It was crazy.
So we didn't brave it.
Yeah, it's not worth it.
no stuck in the tent or something or that whenever you're camping in and
Well, and that's just it.
It's like, well, we could try to sit in the tent and play games and do whatever, or we canget that here and the open and...
not asleep on wet ground.
(01:47):
So Brett, it's been three almost four years since we've talked via this podcast.
We've, we've texted each other here and there, mostly just like, Hey, here's a wild thingI saw on the internet.
Did you know about this?
Usually it's unfortunate news for people that we know, but whatever here we are.
(02:09):
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
Yup.
But how have you been?
What sort of life updates, changes?
What do you want people that listen to a podcast about bathrooms, what do want them toknow about you over the last three or four?
Yeah, since the last podcast I got a bidet.
So that's probably the most relevant to bathrooms.
(02:32):
Not about it, surprisingly.
Really?
I thought it would be.
I think the main thing is like where my toilet is is too far away from the sink so I can'tget any warm or hot water on there.
So it's old, which I'm like, can stomach for a minute, but.
Yeah, at some point, so we too have installed a bidet since we last talked.
(02:53):
And you are exactly right.
At some point, like if you keep the pressure running.
Yeah.
If it's a constant stream, actually, I think you freeze the nerve endings in yourbutthole.
Maybe I need to let it run longer, I don't know.
Dude, okay, so, and if you're like, yeah, I'm not talking about that.
But the first time I ever got it, I think I had it turned up too high, and I think Iaccidentally gave myself an enema.
(03:21):
completely
Yeah, cause like I turned it off and then it was like...
What happened?
I didn't do that, that was something else.
Have you accidental animated yourself?
Not yet, not yet, so.
Have any of your kids discovered or do they love to use your play?
No.
only mind that I use, if I use or when I use.
(03:42):
It's in the master bathroom.
it's like,
Yeah, what's your wife think of it?
She's never used it either, she's like not about it.
She bought it for me actually though.
she, I mean that's saying something I guess.
Yeah, that's kind of saying like Ana bought it for me, but I actually think Ana uses itmore than I do.
(04:02):
Yeah.
Yeah.
have to get it tested out.
I honestly forget that I have it and I get into my habit of just doing my thing and it-
yeah, cuz I still have toilet paper there and so like a lot of times I'm just like, that'sright.
Like well, yeah, we're here.
Okay
and then I still have to dry off.
Yes.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Me, I...
uh My buddy's got one that's got like an air dryer, which I'm like, dude, you're boo...
(04:26):
Yeah, okay, you're air drying it.
m
Well, so Brett, I have a couple things that I want to follow up with you from our lastepisode because I'm wondering if they were things that were said in the heat of the
moment.
Listener, if you remember last episode that Brett was on, was Brett and Erin Badleytogether in a threesome, if you would, just in time for the month of June.
(04:51):
You said something in your first time on this show about peeing in the shower,specifically with your wife involved.
Now...
Yes, yes.
Okay, coming back to you now.
Is this an act?
Is this a real thing?
Or is this like you're with badly?
Yeah.
I'm trying to think how much trouble I get it, you for what I say here, but no, yeah, it'sa rare occurrence, but to deny it would be...
(05:18):
Is it like a prank?
Kind of.
It's not like it's not a fetish per se or anything that's like, oh, this is enjoyable oranything.
But it's just like, oh, we're here.
Like, water's warm.
know?
I would probably follow the lines of, kind of a prank pretty much.
(05:40):
Like, I can count on one hand the amount of times I've been able to, you know, actually.
Perfect.
Yeah, I you know I'm in my brain.
This is like the per almost the perfect like married couple Shower prank, know like thepeople that dump ice over the top.
That's diabolical But but like you just pop the corner Pee in the back of the shower whilethere it's like what's that weird smell?
(06:02):
Yeah.
Hey, you've motivated me uh I've not I pee in the shower like that's like
I like
I only hope that your wife hears this somehow.
yeah.
And is like...
(06:24):
What?
She's over there like, I thought it was just once.
What do you mean?
She's gonna start like, she's gonna have one of those little bike mirrors mounted up inthe shower now so that way.
Although that's probably worse to just like see that peek through the curtain like, huh?
I don't know if you'd see it but...
Oh no!
Nah, I'm just kidding.
But yes, I get what you're saying of the- Oh, okay.
(06:46):
Yep.
Here we are.
You know.
Um, and then the last time you, had made a comment, have you, have you performed a wafflestomp since we left last talk?
I mean, not with the stomp, but there has been an accidental discharge, if you know whatI'm saying.
Yeah, yeah.
(07:06):
I was pretty sick and stuff and it was just a, yeah, it came up and got me and I was like,all right, let's host that bad boy.
But no desire to touch.
So yeah, was fair.
I don't think you can clean your feet enough after that.
You probably can, but.
(07:26):
Yeah, you know the shower does a lot more than you think it would.
It actually accomplishes a lot of good for you.
I find that it actually gets your feet pretty clean.
um, do you, do you still poop exclusively naked?
This is...
Not exclusively, but that is preferential for sure.
It's like, there's something about it of just freeing, you know, restrained, likeespecially the pants, like being able to separate your legs just a little more for me
(07:55):
helps with my form is how I would say it.
Yeah, yeah, you got to get everything lined up just right.
I am curious, so with kids, I don't know, maybe your kids are either like better behavedor maybe I...
So I don't lock the bathroom door.
It's a problem, but my kids will just come in and I'll be in the middle of my job and it'slike, can you go away?
(08:21):
Mmm, so I have the four-ship part.
We have a baby gate at our front door still right now just for animals more so the dog tokeep him out but it works for the kids too so I and mine's through the bedroom and then in
the bathroom, so I'm like Solo in there Han Solo, know just
You've got a series of obstacles that somebody's gotta go through to access you.
(08:43):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And usually I can hear them coming so I can sound the alarm or something and start yellingbefore they even make progress.
I'm like, Hey, this is dad's quiet time.
Like, yeah, you need to wait an hour and a half at least.
I'll be out then.
I'll be out then.
um I'm like, I'm trying to, you know, pooping naked while I totally get the preferred.
I'm sitting here going just the optics if my kid was like, dad, huh?
(09:09):
What are you doing?
It's like, well, this is this is what we do now.
Welcome to the club.
Yeah.
Yeah, I get-
And then a couple of things that I did not ask you last time that I need as a data pointand mostly it's going to help.
I find that as we get older, we turn into different things, but do you prefer bar soap orliquid soap?
The big, the big hard hitting questions here.
(09:31):
Yeah, I probably have to go with liquid soap like using wise bar soap But I don't like thestorage aspect of bar soap and I don't have no plastic containers or something But like I
don't know liquid just seems a little easier, but I never feel like it's as fresh of aclean as a bar is
Yeah, you know that
to both, but...
Yeah, I...
Okay, so I have found that as we get older, we tend more toward bar.
(09:56):
I don't know if that's a real stat, but like, I find that especially when there's been twoor three years in between, people are like, no, I've switched to bar.
It's the path forward for me.
But the storage is a problem.
You get that weird scum.
Yep.
Yep.
And it behind on the bar.
And it depends what kind of bar or something too, but yeah.
(10:19):
Yeah, we've got like, I've got a bar right now and I've got like this little catcherthingy and then like the bottom catches all of the scum.
And then that's disgusting.
You gotta clean that.
But like, it's not in the shower, which is kinda nice.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's nice, yeah.
Little easier.
Yeah.
Think about it like.
Now I wonder if you could like scrape that out.
(10:42):
like repurpose the scum into its own bar over time.
Melt it down.
collect all the scum there and get a little boiling water, put it on top, start skimmingit again.
Get all the impurities out.
will, I will.
you can make that bar of soap and I will not buy it, probably.
You know that there's some weird like, Oregon hippie out there though, that if you tookthat to a farmer's market and was like, yeah, it's organic, we're reducing, we're reusing,
(11:16):
we're recycling, we don't want any waste.
So it's actually twice as much as the original bar, but you're actually saving the planetsomehow.
You should buy it.
I bet you there's a market for this somewhere.
I don't know that market.
The picture of whose like bar of soap it was made from, whose scumbar it is.
(11:38):
it's like this is under a scumbar.
what's the best selling line?
You know?
Alright.
I mean going off of the bar of soap that's apparently making the news lately.
That's what came to my mind all of sudden.
Wait, what's this?
yeah, yeah, the- It's Dr.
(12:00):
Squatch.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
There's some, gosh, what's her name?
Some famous lady, I can't remember who it is.
But I think it's Dr.
Squatch that did it.
Yeah, it's like the bath water.
Yeah, dude, it's so shady.
it's like, hmm.
No, they also just put out a SpongeBob scent.
(12:20):
I'm gonna tend towards that, I think.
I think I'd rather smell like SpongeBob than some ladies bath water.
I'll pass.
But in just as much as that is creepy, you saying that, like it stirred something in me,which is the same demographic of person that's like getting on the internet for like weird
feet pics.
(12:42):
I guarantee you there is soap scum perverts out there that they would, I mean it's like,hey.
And you don't, is like how do they know?
It's kind of like the same thing the Squatch pulled, which is like, yeah, it's definitelythis lady's bath water, it's not.
oh
All these people are like, huh, I gotta get some of that.
(13:04):
Just, you know, pick some random dude or lady and say, yeah, this is their soap scum.
15 bucks a bar should do it and we'll.
We'll rake in some money.
Yeah, toss in a couple beard hairs every now and then just to give some authenticity.
And I go, look at that, look what I won.
(13:25):
Little something to exfoliate with in the middle there.
You never know.
This is why we do this more often mostly just for the business idea.
I know, right?
like, of making money off this.
Well, probably not.
But we could theorize.
We could theorize.
But hey, people will pay for anything.
um I'm currently on a legal, I'll say legal, it is legal, but I'm on, I am on like,there's like places where you can donate stool for like research and stuff.
(13:54):
I'm on like four of these lists right now.
Like waiting for the, just waiting for the callback.
Mostly for the research.
But they give you like 50 bucks a sample and I'm going, that's like some of the easiestmoney I will have ever made.
Okay, send me those links.
Right!
Yeah, I like it.
But the screening, so the biggest thing is, is I have to get my bathrooming, dude, this ishow committed, I have to get my bathrooming down to like less than three times a day.
(14:26):
Yeah, so I go three or four, but they want you on two to three, consistent.
That's about where I'm at.
Hey, maybe it's you then, because to overshare, my consistency is not what they wanteither.
They want it more firm.
Yeah, that's where I'd struggle with.
Change up the diet.
Maybe look at some fiber.
(14:46):
I've been doing, truly, this is real, part of it is just health, but other is that.
I've been doing intermittent fasting and low sugar, as minimal carbs as we can hit up andtrying to keep fiber protein focus.
It has helped, but I think the coffee is what does me.
Yeah, yeah, same.
It's like how many cups have I had today?
(15:08):
that's why
It's more than three.
Yeah.
Before noon, Something I didn't ask you or Aaron is when your toilet paper is on the roll,and I don't know how I didn't ask this, because it's the debate is over.
you go over or under?
I know I prefer to have it over so like it rolls down towards me but if you have catssometimes I know that can be an issue.
(15:37):
Or toddlers I guess but they both they unroll it no matter what a toddler's.
mostly the same.
It's something about the rip closer towards you instead of, and I think it comes fromprobably using public bathrooms.
If you roll it away, you kind of have to tear and you're like running the risk of hittingthe wall.
public bathrooms so yeah the amtms you know like all the rest areas i think i talked aboutthe amtms eggnog the kerfuffle there
(16:14):
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I still relive that day in my mind sometimes.
I'm like, that was rough.
That was rough.
Yeah, yeah.
My buddy texted me this week.
He goes, dude, don't use the restrooms in Umatilla, Oregon.
He goes, they are crusty.
And I said, send me a picture.
Like immediately he goes, no, no, I already left.
(16:36):
I was scared to take my phone out of my pocket.
I was like, you're killing me.
Go out, take it out, and then walk in with it already out.
It's all in your brain.
Just pretend you're.
Yeah.
Dang, okay, and then do you have a restaurant or an eating establishment that does you thedirtiest?
top my head.
like I'm not, know, like Taco Bell obviously always has a little something but I feel likethat's not that bad anymore.
(16:59):
It just kind of depends what you get.
But the thing that surprises me is energy drinks.
Constipated and backed up from those.
Really?
Yeah, which is the opposite of coffee pretty much.
So it's always kind of weird because I'm like, man, like normally clockwork like four or5pm get home like clock it out and
(17:20):
If I had an energy drink that day or something, kind of like, well, not happening rightnow.
So weird.
Yeah.
Maybe I need to sub in like an energy drink for one of my morning cups to see if it like.
Just baselines my three to.
Get you down to that two to three.
maybe.
Get some numbers down.
(17:41):
That's crazy.
Which energy drink, like is it just kind of any of them or is it?
higher caffeinated ones like if I have like a rain or a bang which I try not to drinkbecause I'm like oh man that's 300 milligrams of caffeine that's like four or five cups of
coffee and a cup of coffee is what like 80 or something I think depending you know on theroast and how much you drink
(18:04):
That's where I gotta get Chad Nicks in the room and be like, hey, tell me, tell me whatdoes me on this.
Yeah.
Wow, didn't, I don't know if I've ever heard of that.
Your body's specially designed to like...
Convert it in to- breakfast, having an energy drink instead, I don't know, like- Maybe,but-
(18:27):
like you have perfectly summed up the adult experience.
We're not doing breakfast and just throw caffeine at the mix and wolf out.
Yeah, mean, I tell my mom about this.
My mom is like, they had me older.
And so I tell her the stuff and I'm like, she goes, well, you gotta eat breakfast.
(18:52):
I was like, no, I don't.
I don't even think about eating anything probably until 10, 11 o'clock.
Yeah, yeah.
goes, well, doesn't your stomach get empty?
was like, well, no, it's full of coffee and water.
Like, it's pretty consistently full of caffeine.
liquid in there, so I'm good.
Coffee's got some nutrition to it, right?
(19:12):
Yeah.
We're gonna come up with some sort of protein coffee that would, I'm sure it exists.
that like was it uh bullet coffee I think where you put like a stick of butter in yourcoffee and you drink it with that It was a keto thing.
I think it's where it originated from or something because it's like Okay, maybe not awhole stick of butter.
(19:33):
don't know but like you put a lot of butter in there and it actually is pretty fillinglike And if I remember correctly the taste wasn't like terrible like it wasn't bad it was
kind of like a oh yeah, but
you're you know just down in some butter with your coffee so you're kind of like huh
So when you do food things like that, what is your wife's response?
(19:58):
I think she brought that one up to be honest.
What?
Yeah, I was doing Wow.
Not that we had a keto phase, but we were like, oh, looking for diets.
And it's like, oh, we'll try this.
Try And you're like, oh, OK, that's not feasible.
Drop But you pick up some stuff where you're like, OK, maybe that's not bad.
But if your diet consists of eating half a stick of butter or something like that, it'sprobably not a good diet.
(20:22):
Every morning, every week I'm going through a Costco six pack of butter sticks.
Yeah, yeah, these psychographies helpin', but yeah, where's all the butter?
Crazy.
I did try substituting peanut butter for butter once though with mashed potatoes, Ibelieve it was.
Okay, wait a minute.
(20:43):
That one wasn't so great.
I had to force that one down.
See that sub works in like pancakes and
Yeah, yeah, nope.
We had no butter.
I was like, well, you're supposed to put some in.
And I was like, these can be really bland.
I was like, peanut butter's not butter.
But it is butter, right?
Like it's in the name.
(21:03):
And little protein taters, I guess.
Did you taste the peanut butter?
Not, it wasn't super strong.
I must have not have put a whole lot in, but like, I remember they were like a brownish,like, I don't know, I'm trying to think, like, a bit like beige, brown, compared to just
kind of like a, you know, creamy white or something.
(21:24):
I was like, yeah.
When I was in seventh grade, we had a cooking class and my teacher gave us a recipe tofollow for mashed potatoes.
And my friends and I, being the know-it-alls that we were, said it's mashed potatoes.
We got it, it's in the name.
So we cut up the potatoes and then immediately mashed them.
(21:46):
Notice there was no cooking.
And so we just had this pile of gray sludge, because we were like hand mashing rotators.
At which point we went...
Something went wrong here.
in the oven and we just stuck the pile in the oven and it came out like this very gray,bad looking hash brown.
(22:07):
How did it taste though?
Alright, alright.
It was like still crunchy.
That weird potato crunch.
I think my teacher said that it was actually not safe to eat because like raw potatoes arebad for you.
the private didn't cook correctly, yeah.
Yeah, no, was, nah, it was real bad.
It looked like the food that they would serve in some sort of strange sci-fi future.
(22:32):
to the people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was bad.
So I have some round two questions.
That was kind of like a little catch up.
Yeah.
And we've already kind of, but has, has your bathroom life changed other than the bidet,which I, that's a good addition, whether or not, you know, you lean into it or not.
Has your bathroom life changed in any other way in the last three or four years?
(22:56):
No, honestly, the hardest thing for me is like going from working a day shift to nightshift with bathroom like that messes up my insides just and so then there's no consistency
with like, hey, like, I don't know if you're on a schedule where you're like, you know,you said three to four times a day if you're like, oh, yeah, it's 8am, like noon, 5pm.
Oh, yeah.
It's more before bed.
(23:17):
It's Yeah.
So mine gets kind of tossed around and that's that's what I can think of like change wisejust in general.
But that's like a reoccurring change every two months.
So it's like
Well, normally I wake up and go at 3am because I go to work.
oh.
But then-
It's just not consistent, but that's something I didn't think about, like the night shift,day shift.
(23:41):
It makes sense.
Yeah, because sometimes I work, you know, 4 a.m.
to 2 p.m.
or something like that.
But then I work, you know, 6 p.m.
to 4 a.m.
And so it's like, we're, you know, and I try not to go at work if I can help it.
Yeah, knock on wood, I guess.
Yeah.
When it, like, does it have to get so bad before you say, like, I'm just taking it?
(24:06):
yeah, because, I work for my car, so it's like either I have to drive to an office or ormy house, which is kind of out in the county or something like that.
so, yeah, and then take off a bunch of stuff.
And it's just.
It's more of a battle than you would think it would need to be, but.
So I try to clean it out right before, but then when you switch day shift to night shift,you're like, well, my internal clock's accustomed to this time, right, when I'm, you know.
(24:31):
Right.
Yeah.
That's a mess.
Yeah, yeah.
So I find myself just like holding it a lot of times.
That's why I'm drinking energy drinks.
I'm like, we got to make it through this shift without running into some trouble today.
People were like, man, he must be tired.
He's really trying to caffeinate it.
(24:52):
And you're like, no, Stop everything from moving.
Do you ever have a snack or a drink?
We'll start with the shower, because that one's, I think, more acceptable than where we'regoing.
always remember trying to have a shower beer or something, but it just wasn't really forme.
like, all right, there's really no point to this.
(25:14):
Either you have to hold it with one hand up or set it off somewhere.
And if your shower or bath isn't set up for that, which mine isn't, I'm getting that scumin there or something, my luck.
So that's kind of, I'm currently doing like a research project to figure out like what thebest canned beverages for the shower.
(25:36):
And you know, the hummingbird nectar that I found at Walmart is, it's actually not doingbad.
Okay.
When it's, see, so this is one of the things is like how wobbly is the can while it reststhere?
And the worst was that little buzz ball cans That shape was like it was practicallyrolling off the thing and I like this is a disaster So yeah, I I feel that I totally um
(26:10):
What about what about snack you ever have like a food snack?
I don't think so, not that's popping in my memory.
What about on the...
Do you ever do any of those on the toilet?
No.
No.
can't say I do.
I'm thinking like, yeah, like that one I feel like would almost be.
(26:30):
It's less socially acceptable, but more convenient in the sense of like, you have yourhands free, you know, or whatever, usually on your phone, like what's, mean, yep, it's not
hygienic, I guess, but.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, you know, it gives you something to aspire to.
Yeah, reload in as you're...
(26:52):
Yeah.
heard some wild people like I have on occasion.
I'm I'm less of a bathroom, like a toilet snacker.
I'm a big time shower drink like Polar Seltzer, the like little polar seltzer waters.
Dude, those are.
Those are so good in the shower because it's like they're small.
(27:13):
About the time you drink one, your showers done like the water getting in it, it doesn'tdilute it really like it doesn't mess with the flavor because it's already kind of
Not got a lot of flavor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I do like my my peak.
My peak shower is like I've just mowed the lawn and then shower with one of those.
(27:33):
It's.
Okay, yeah, that adds up.
In the same train of thought of like eating stuff in the bathroom, have you ever, have youever like tried to eat or take a bite of deodorant?
Maybe accidentally, not intentionally obviously, but like, you know, sometimes like ifhave a stick it falls out, which I actually use spray now.
So I don't use the stick anymore when I do use deuterant, but.
(27:55):
What sort of spray you rocking?
That's a good question.
uh I don't know, whatever the wife buys.
think it's like, right guard or something right now or oh something along those lines orsomething.
Maybe, I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm fortunate that I don't sweat a whole lot naturally, so I don't use deodorant a wholelot unless it's a warm day out or something.
(28:18):
Right.
Right, yeah, yeah, so you know, there was this deodorant brand that Ana was buying for awhile, and they were doing weird stuff.
Like they had like candy-scented deodorants, and they all these different, and one waslike toasted vanilla marshmallow, and dude, it smelled so good.
I took a run at it, and yeah, see, it was bad.
(28:41):
um
I knew that this was going to taste like and I did it still.
It's still, but it's one of those things where it's like, how do they get it to smell sogood, but it tastes so far away from that?
was, I don't know, it was baffling to me.
So I, you know, I learned a lot.
um How do you deal, like, how are you with throw up?
(29:04):
Like my own or someone else's?
I mean, you're just like, I'm a big fan of my own.
No, no, no.
My smell in my throat makes me throw up again usually, but give or take.
no.
I wouldn't say I'm a fan.
I don't think most people are.
I can handle it.
Not as well as my wife.
Not as well as my wife.
Like when the kids are sick or something.
I always remember there's one specific instance my middle child was sick and like puked.
(29:28):
like, I don't remember him eating hot dogs at any point, but there's like little chunks ofhot dogs or something all over.
And I was like, you know, I can't do this right now.
to call in some reinforcements with her on that.
Man.
Have you ever gotten thrown up on?
Yeah.
actually.
Actually, earlier this- Kids?
Yeah.
(29:48):
one specific that I remember was like, gosh, when was this?
March or April or something like that?
My wife had actually just left on a trip, so I had all three kids.
And I had worked the next day, I believe, and I was gonna drop the kids off at my parents'house for the night.
It's like 7 p.m.
My youngest is just laying on me, I have a blanket on.
And they're like, oh, like, he's so tired.
(30:09):
And then they kinda like looking at him like, is he sick?
And then all of sudden just, bleh, like.
obscene amount straight liquid throw up to it wasn't like food chunking anything it's likehe just only drank orange juice or something that night and just seep through the blanket
all over my shirt like through my pants on my underwear and I'm just like
Love it.
This is a peak, this is peak parenting experience.
(30:33):
Yeah, sure that wasn't my first time.
just that one was probably the worst because it was just straight up on me straight liquidsoaked through, know everything I'm like, I'm gonna use the shower real quick.
Like you guys will hold them.
Yeah, so then I had to Yeah, I had to take him home with me that night.
So I called out from work the next day and then he ended up puking about every half hourfor like 14 hours straight
(30:56):
Like, yeah, just dry heaving and stuff at some point, give him a little bit of liquid andthen just kind of right back out.
He was a champ about making it in the bucket and he was like, two and a half or two andthree quarters, you know, approaching three, but like as hard as a two year old.
And he'd like get up and like go for the bucket and wouldn't make it every time, but likepretty consistent.
(31:17):
I'm like, well, love it.
Yeah.
Dang, dude, that's crazy.
That, kids getting sick is, it's the worst.
It's like.
Yeah.
And the funny thing is I came from a family who it's like, oh, if you're throw up, likerun to the bathroom, make it in the toilet, right?
Cause you can just flush it.
Which that's what I usually do.
Like I'd sit in front of the toilet and throwing up.
then for some reason that toilet bell smell wafts up right in my face.
(31:40):
And then I'm like gagging on my throw up and I'm like trying to flush it as I'm throwingup more.
And then it won't flush again cause you just flush and you're smelling it.
You're like, oh.
And then my wife was a, she's a bowl thrower, upper right.
So you have a bowl.
Yep.
Cause it's right there, you just roll over, go into it.
I'm like, the difference is my vomit is aggressive a lot of times.
(32:01):
So I'm like, I don't know how you throw up in a bowl because mine would be splattered allover my face.
splash back.
Gosh, yeah.
We, and I, so she had like terrible morning sickness, both pregnancies, and then had someweird stomach stuff for a while.
We bought so many of those.
Oh look, there's one there.
(32:22):
A little sick.
We've probably got like 200 of them in our house.
I've got them like dead dropped all over my home.
That's actually smart.
Which people sometimes they're like, oh that's excessive.
But last week, last week or two, both of my kids got the 24 hour tummy thing.
And I kid you not, my son snagged one of those dead drops in the car and just.
(32:45):
I was like, yikes.
Yes, that's a parent win right there.
All I heard was the sound and I went, oh.
Like, dude, the back seat of my car.
And I said, bud, just try not to make a mess with it.
It's in the bag.
Let's go!
He snagged it, he found one.
That's awesome.
Yeah, the dead drops, don't, yeah.
(33:07):
I need it for underwear too sometimes, but.
Do you examine your poop before you flush it?
Like, do you take a look at what's going on?
Yeah, yeah, you know, you're supposed to right?
That's medical.
Allegedly.
I don't know.
It depends, especially if it's like one of those ones where you're like, but there's timeswhere it's like there's too much toilet paper sometimes to even.
(33:29):
yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
But no, like if I'm, you know, just chilling, I'll take a look down under and be like, OK,like.
Yeah, you know.
You mentioned earlier, so you're using the phone on the toilet.
What's your go-to phone routine on the toilet?
What are we doing?
Doom scroll.
Doom Scroll for the most part.
(33:51):
I don't know if I have any apps that I'm like actively playing or doing or something likethat.
Yeah.
Used to do the old school runescape out there a little bit, you know.
Do you still play?
Uhhh, I haven't played in a couple months but I did just redo my membership so, Aaron-
That's still actively playing.
(34:12):
Like within the calendar year.
Yeah, no for sure so, you know It's a hit and miss Aaron's actually passed me up and Istarted like that account two years before him or something and he went hard but Wow,
yeah, I'm trying to get back into it.
I'm like, alright, I'll do it.
So Yeah, so those ones where it's like, you know a lot of the games these days you can'tjust like especially if it's like an online thing you can't just stop and go and deal with
(34:39):
kids or whatever if it's like nap time or something like that where
in RuneScape I was like, you can just log off and you're good.
This is gonna be a level of nerd that maybe it's autism, I don't know.
Which Lego video game is being played behind you right now?
Yes.
That is the Lego Batman, actually.
(35:00):
I actually just bought that one like a week ago for the...
It's like three bucks.
like, I'll do...
I'm like watching and I'm like, all right, that's definitely a Lego game.
But I thought it was Star Wars for a second, but.
No, we do have that one too though, but...
Dude the LEGO video games are so good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I got a little wild
(35:20):
They've got like a Lego Marvel.
It's pretty in depth, like the number of characters and all the superpowers and stuff.
It's kind of great.
That's wild.
Would you ever talk to somebody on the phone?
Like have the conversation while on the toilet?
Yeah, yeah, I've done it before.
It's always the best when like my boss calls me or something, you know, and I'm just like,Hey, what's up?
(35:41):
There's the echo in the background.
He's like, what you up to?
And I'm like, you know, just taking the browns or whatever.
And yeah, it's, it's chill.
But yeah, it's like the irony of like, well, I'm pooping.
So do you me to go do something or?
Right.
Yeah.
dude, that's.
That's brave of you.
if, I think, man, that's pretty bold.
If I was sitting in the toilet and the list of people that could call me that I'd be like,bam, we got this.
(36:08):
My boss is so not on that list.
Mostly because any given year at the school, it's a woman.
Like every other year it's been lady.
And I'm like,
Alright, fair enough.
You know, one of the boys, I'd answer, I always answer if it's my wife, because shedoesn't want to talk to me if I'm on the toilet, and she's like, are you in the bathroom?
I'm like, maybe.
(36:28):
Click, and I'm like, dang it.
I got caught.
Almost Adam.
I got caught.
This is the fourth time trying to call me today.
You caught me every time I'm in the toilet.
You know my schedule.
When you wash your hands, do you wet first or do you soak first?
They're wet first.
Wet first.
(36:48):
Yeah, that's barbaric to go straight to soap.
It doesn't spread as easily.
What if you got like liquid soap though?
Yeah, it still isn't the same.
Like, unless you have a copious amount of liquid soap, like, I don't know.
In my mind, it doesn't quite spread as easily.
They're probably just, when they're wet, it's probably just the soap running off more so.
(37:10):
in theory, like to get them primed a little bit.
I guess that makes sense.
Yeah, bye.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I'm broken because if it's wet soap, I just go straight for wet soap.
Yeah, and I think because I turned the sink on first like naturally I'm right there andthen pre wet.
Yeah But nope, definitely pre wet
(37:31):
do you do any like pattern tracing or like bowl acrobatics when you pee?
yeah, all the time.
uh Right.
Well, especially like in the snow or stuff, right?
You're drawing an org off, trying to draw some sort of artistic painting.
Trying to write somebody else's name so they get framed.
exactly.
But no, yeah, definitely try to aim around the sides of the toilet.
But it depends too if it's nighttime, right?
(37:52):
Like there's that sweet spot where it's just nice and quiet.
No one hears it.
Yeah.
no kids up.
Yep.
Yep.
The back right on my side or front left sometimes.
The worst is when you try aiming for it, but you don't want to turn the light on and it'snighttime because you know you're going to wake yourself up because I have those.
(38:13):
We have.
We have a toilet light.
Yeah, it's like a little motion activated.
It's like seven bucks on Amazon.
And you can even change the colors.
It like, you walk, yeah, comes in a two pack and it's dude, for us, it's like, it'swhatever.
Like we're grown adults.
We can figure it out.
But for the kids, especially my son, game changer for the night peak is it's, there wouldbe times where, you know, it would start and then you would hear dad.
(38:41):
It's like, what is it?
I think I missed it.
Yeah.
Oh, that is a game.
Yeah
Give a good pass at it.
Huh, cause yeah, we have those bright LED lights.
I flick them on and like, well, I'm awake now.
(39:01):
that's yeah.
I'm going to have to definitely look that up.
So.
Yeah, yeah, it's been a game changer.
I was pretty skeptical.
My wife bought them as kind of a stocking stuff for weird thing.
And I was like, okay, whatever.
And I put it on, like, this is great.
To the point where I've changed the battery in it like three or four times now.
(39:22):
It's a regular use.
Okay.
Do you use the weird toilet seat cover things?
I know you said you don't do much like public bathroom.
So you hook over the top of it or whatever
Yeah, I've heard them called like ass gaskets, but I don't know like...
You're talking about like the furry stuff that goes on the toilet lid or whatever?
No, no, no, it's like the weird paper like...
(39:44):
They're usually back behind.
Public yes.
No, I use toilet paper instead.
I just take like three sections and place it on the right one on the left.
Don't know probably I don't know why I'm weird like that.
I'm like, well, it's toilet paper It's probably cleaner than those things in my mindbecause you don't have probably hands going up and you know You peel the first one off
throw that
(40:04):
don't even know how to use those.
Yeah, I tried once and I don't know.
Cause I have to like rip it but then I don't...
cause then it stays on there it's not like you rip the middle part out.
Yeah, someone told me that the middle part goes down in the water so when you flush itsucks it down.
my thing is then it gets in the way of what I'm doing.
(40:26):
I don't like that.
uh
Yeah, yeah, And then I you know when I wipe I always I do have some movement because Ilike to get one cheek up so with that thing like I feel like it you have risk half of it
falling in and then if you go to switch to the other cheek to get the other you know likeyou know sometimes your angles where toilet paper kind of sticks to you
You
(40:48):
Little more than those.
So let's go one side too.
And I take that one off, throw it in.
And then I'm just like, all right, we're only going left cheek rise today.
Now you got me wondering, like the people that use those, how do they wipe?
Because you are so right.
uh
Cause you're like, it's kinda, yeah, I don't know.
I gotta find one day I will not very many people use them.
(41:10):
I've talked to people and they're like, I know.
I'm a hard pass.
One day I will find somebody that's an avid user and it's going to be like, okay, I needyou to run me through play by play on how you.
Yeah.
Train me on these.
Cause I'm, I'm not understanding it.
When you, when you go poop, do you ever create like a poop nest where you, you like, youput some paper in first and then you poop into the paper.
So it kind of catches it.
(41:31):
Not intentionally, I don't like set out to do that, but I always wipe like those publicbathrooms down first, because there's always like pee coming out there and I'm like, oh
great.
then naturally there's something in there which just catches it and you're like, oh,that's a pretty little nest there, I suppose.
There was a time in my life where I could tell I was gonna have a big one, like a bigturd, and I didn't like the mermaid kiss, the backsplash, and so I would throw a bunch of
(41:57):
paper in as like, soften the blow.
I definitely get that.
Yeah, I, you know, things that we do.
When you take a shower, do you scrub your legs every time?
No, no, depends.
How many?
Like sometimes I take two showers in a day, right?
Right, right, right.
And like, it just kind of depends, but.
(42:18):
Yeah.
Okay, legs, yes.
Like feet, calves, ankles.
I would say knee down.
I'm talking.
Yeah.
Knee down, no, but I'm like, yeah, dude, that's too much work to get down sometimes.
And I'm like, you know, I showered this morning or when I got home and then I went to thegym and it's like, okay, like I rubbed down everything, get down, my knees and it's like,
all right, that's been covered by the fallout from everything up here, right?
(42:39):
Like that's probably probably the only way I can justify it is to bring down.
That is exactly why this question is on here because I had somebody tell me like, hey, Iwash my legs once a week and I went, and you're in the same room as me?
No.
But it's like, he goes, yeah, but the soap, it just rinses everything down.
It cleans it.
Gravity, it's gravity fed.
(43:00):
I'm like,
I also don't have a whole lot of space in my shower, so unless I turn my shower head, thenI can get it, but when I go down, it's already rinsing off and I'm not gonna get a whole
new squirt in my hand just to do my ankles and knees, so I'm like, yeah.
Right.
Yeah, that's fair.
So I'm going tell you, that's all of my round two questions.
(43:20):
Do you have, and no worries if you don't, because it's kind of, do you have any likebathroom stories that you want to share before I put out for some bathroom wisdom from
you?
I don't know if I shared this last time, but the only thing I can think of off the top ofmy head just on a whim here is, you know, working in law enforcement.
Like we have the perks of having some wee-woos on top of our car.
(43:44):
And you know, you have to go places to use the restroom.
There's a term, code brown, which has been maybe completed before, maybe not.
Statue of limitations isn't up, but...
It's hard to tell if somebody has ever done that.
You never know.
You never know.
I'm just saying I haven't personally but I have heard stories out there.
(44:05):
Yeah, like, you know, when you're all...
When you're all gathered...
No!
Like, what are you gonna do?
Go in your pants?
Like...
Yeah.
I, five gallon bucket, I used to know a guy who drove Amazon trucks.
He goes, they don't give us anywhere to go to the bathroom or time to stop.
I crap in a bucket, dude.
She's back in my Amazon truck.
(44:25):
And I'm like, that's what's floating around back there with all my packages.
Have good day.
Yeah, I think you delivered the wrong package.
Yeah, I was sir.
Yeah of all You know people I've come in contact with I've only had two that I canremember use that they're about to crap their pants as an excuse Yeah, I both of them go I
(44:46):
was like dude, you wouldn't believe this but the amount of times I've actually heard thisas an excuse is like you're the first one like have a good day Yeah, you go take care of
that Yeah, I
We had a, he had like a, he was like door to door salesman selling like solar panels andhe knocked on ours and he tried to sell me solar panels.
I was like, actually I'm good.
(45:06):
And he goes, all right, this is going to be awkward, but I need to, can I use yourbathroom?
I was like, I guess, like you gotta go, you gotta go.
Baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do.
Well, Brett, do you have any bathroom wisdom you want to leave folks with?
Wisdom.
Plan ahead.
I don't know.
That's probably what I'd say.
(45:27):
Nothing worse than when you freshly sit down and you get a text, a call, your child, can Ihave milk?
Can I do this?
Like, hey I need your help with this and you're like...
you know, like sometimes you can't hold it and it's like, nope, SOS, this is an emergency.
You're on your own, sorry.
But there's a lot of times where it's like, yeah, give me a second.
Like I'll stand back up.
(45:48):
haven't started yet, but you're mentally, you're started already and you're like, youknow, have to get in the head space.
Emotionally you're there for bathroom.
mean, and there's two types of poopers, right?
Well, there's probably multiple, but in the sense of like there's ones that are quick,like, hey, this is efficient, let's get it done, get out and get going.
And then there's the, I'm gonna doom scroll, I'm gonna spend half an hour in here and thisis my me time kind of.
(46:10):
And I'm the latter.
So for those of us who like to take our time in there, plan accordingly.
I, dude, I'm kind of a hybrid, because my whole job's done in 30 seconds to a minute, butthen I do them scroll for three or four.
I wrap it up under 10 usually, but a bulk of that is not.
(46:31):
for sure.
Active.
Active, yeah, no.
yeah, I get that.
But I always feel like if you sit there a little longer, there's always a little bit moreyou can finish.
it's like, that's the...
Especially when you're out on a time constraint, like if it's before work, it's like, no,dude, we're just, being efficient.
This is a five minute at longest.
yeah, so there is that, but...
(46:52):
But once you're on the clock, at least for me, dude, I mean, at the high school, it'stough, because if there's class, they give us less than seven minutes, then they start
calling.
But man, if it's break, maybe I'm like, yes, sir.
I will be here.
I'm not out watching kids.
I'm in here.
Yeah.
Allegedly.
(47:12):
Well sweet Brett.
Well hey, thank you so much for doing this again.
I know you guys have got a busy schedule, but I appreciate you doing it.
Yeah, of course, always glad to be here and catch up with you too and yeah, share somemore stories, you know.
Yeah, I'll have to give you a call sometime off the podcast.
(47:33):
Cool, Catch up and.
It's weird, because I see y'all's stuff online and whether it's Facebook or whatever thatyou or your wife posts, and it's been cool to kind of see your guys' lives and the kids
every now and then.
But it's an interesting thing.
So it's cool to see the people that aren't running into issues.
(47:58):
Oh man, yeah, I uh...
Well hey, I'm gonna end the recording.
That's fine.
And then I have a question for you.
Okay.
About that.
um, listener, thank you so much for being here.
You can find links for all the things down in the thing.
Words don't work right now.
Thanks to Kevin and Pondington for the use of your music.
(48:21):
This has been another episode of Privy.
Brett, thanks for being here.
Thank you all for listening.
And now, as always, don't forget to flush.
Popular Podcasts
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show
The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show. Clay Travis and Buck Sexton tackle the biggest stories in news, politics and current events with intelligence and humor. From the border crisis, to the madness of cancel culture and far-left missteps, Clay and Buck guide listeners through the latest headlines and hot topics with fun and entertaining conversations and opinions.