No Grunting w/ Mikey Medina (Privychat 36)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
>> Mikey Medina (00:00):
Like, I'm a roller.

>> Hunter Hoover (00:01):
Okay.

So, like, yes, sir.

You. You're a crumple.

Yeah.

Really? Tell me more.
Welcome back to Privy. Privy is a
podcast about bathrooms
recorded from my home bathroom. I'm
your host, Hunter Hoover, and I love
bathrooms. And I am joined this week

(00:25):
in home recording studio and
where I appear naked multiple times
a week, um, with none other than Mikey Medina.
Mikey, how are you?

I'm, uh, fantastic today. How are you?

I'm doing great. Um, so,
uh, one of the things that I always ask right at the top is
how does it feel being in here right now?

Just give me the vibe, you know? I'm not going to lie. I never thought
I would get, uh, Hunter in here trapped in his
own bathroom, but it makes me feel like I'm in a little powerful
position.

Yeah.

So, uh, kudos to me.

I guess I am at the mercy.

Yes.

I'm literally trapped.

Uh, I've been through weirder things with my friends, so
this is no issue to me. We have our clothes on, so we're good.

Yep, yep. Everybody's fully clothed right now.

Um, right now.

Yep, yep. We will. We will remain fully clothed,
uh, at all times.

Thank you.

People have asked for video, um, and I do have, like,
some video episodes, but I said, you don't want that,
like, because it is just me. Usually it
is just me on the toilet talking
for. Yeah.

Do you have your pants on?

I do, yeah, I have my pants on on every episode. There is
one episode where, um, I had to. I
had to stop recording, but I didn't
hit the stop. And so. And then I, like,
scooted everything out, turned around, peed,
and it got the whole, like, just, like,
pee stream sound. Uh, and then

(01:52):
I'm like. So that's like, in
a file somewhere. I have that. I also have my
friend. He, uh, was on, um, a couple years back,
and I have his wife in the background
gagging because she's changing their son's diaper.
And also I have a file on my computer that's called. It's
like Michael's, uh, wife gagging
sound. And it's just her you

(02:14):
can hear in the other room.

So you make a couple video episodes
and release them, and then you release a blooper,
and you've got two insta hits right there.

Yeah, something like that. Um, but,
Mikey, for the folks who, uh, I know
you a bit, we've known each other about a year or two now
going on to you. Um, but, Mikey, who
are you? You know, share as much or as little as
you want. But if you wanted people to know, like,
this is Mikey Medina.

Uh, so I'm a person that
should be taking semi seriously and semi non
seriously. I'm, um, always trying to be the happier
person in life and trying to bring joy into other people's.
I, uh, think about others a lot before doing things for
myself sometimes, you know, and sometimes that's not very good
on my end. But, you know, it is what it is.

(03:05):
Um, I'm actually a wrestling coach for a
Mac club here in, uh, Albany, where we're
at. And, uh, I get to coach
Hunter's son, so that's pretty cool. And I get to coach some other
great kids. And, uh, I
also. I work at the high school level too, and
I help coach them. Um,

(03:26):
I'm just an overall. Just pretty much I
like to be the guy where, yeah,
I do my thing, you know, I don't care what people think, and I just do my
thing. So to be in this bathroom, I won't care what
people have to complain about.

Yeah, you do have to get to a point where it's like,
yeah, it's a
bathroom podcast. Uh, there's a lot of
that. Um, you'll be
fine. I've found that people are on the show.
Uh, people like to ask them, like,
did he. What did he do to make this happen? And

(03:59):
it's like, mostly just a little bit of
persistence. And, uh, it's like,
hey, do you have a bathroom story? Uh, but,
no. And Mikey, you said you like to be the guy
that helps, uh, people out and
brings joy. And that's so evident, especially at the
high school. Um, especially with so many of the kids you work
with. Um, because you do work with a pretty

(04:21):
tough population of kids, but they.
And whether they'll admit it or not, there's some that are probably too cool for
school, but they love working
with you. Like, they really do. Um.
Um, I think even the ones that don't know how to express
that, they would express that if they could. Uh,
uh, so kudos to you and feel free to
tell people no, it's good for them.

Yeah, thank you. Uh, uh, I appreciate that. That is one thing I
need to learn is how to say no.

Yeah, no, but, Mikey, that's. It's. Yeah,
it's cool to see you work. And I wish. Yeah,
yeah, I wish a lot of things, but it is
cool to see you work. And it's cool to see you work with the wrestling kids. Not just
the little kids, but the older kids. Um, I love
it, especially because I just see like a window of it. But I like when you guys
kind of start, you know, wrestling around with each

(05:07):
other because I'm waiting for you to just send someone to Suplex
City. Just absolutely.
Like, I know you're probably not gonna do that because you don't want to.

Hurt him, but, you know, unfortunately, I can't do that to a
high schooler or a little kid. But there is
another co worker that once stepped into the
circle and, uh, bless, um, this man's
soul. I set him something flying and
he's, he's a good three
digits above me in weight. So that's.

(05:35):
I, Yeah, I sent him good. So that was, that was a fun
day.

Did he, did he not expect that?

Not the way that he went, no.

Really?

Yeah. So he, he expected the loss.
Uh, and this was over the summer, so we were working
with. This was a football coach, actually. Oh,
yeah. And one of his kids told him to get
in there and he did. And we was doing some
sumo wrestling and he decided to push up against me
and his feet went over his head and he went, he

(06:04):
went backwards. And, uh, yeah, I came out on top
on that one.

That's awesome.

Yeah, that's.

Were you guys doing, like real sumo? Like, not, I mean,
in that, like.

The style kind of just.

Kind of just kind of going for it.

Yeah. Basically we're supposed to, we more or less, we're
supposed to push each other out, but without. But, you know, I'm,
I'm only 155 pounds, 160. And for
him to be almost 100 pounds heavier than
me, that's big, significant weight advantage.
So I just went for the throw, used his momentum. Um, and yeah,
that was a lot of ooze that day.

Just let them fly. Um, that's
awesome. Have you ever, uh, in wrestling or
in coaching wrestling, have you ever seen like a bathroom
accident? Like either mid match or maybe
like.

I've had one.

Oh, you.

Yeah. Yeah. So, um,
this was when I went to college. I didn't wrestle very long while I was
there, but I did have the opportunity to do that.
And over
the summer I actually went to go work for my grandmother.
And God, God bless this woman soul
Hispanic grandmother cooking with a lot of oils. I actually

(07:12):
gained 30 pounds over that summer and came back
at like 155. So first, ah, wrestling
tournament. I was trying to make 144, I
think, and, uh, me and another
teammate of mine, Aaron Runyon, Shout out if you ever watch
this or listen to this. Yeah, I'm Telling our story
here. Well, uh, we took some laxatives, we
walked all the way to Walmart in Portland and it was

(07:34):
about a mile and a half walk just to go get some laxatives
so we can make weight. And.

Okay. I was like.

I was wrestling this kid and he put me in this one
move and splitting my legs apart and.
Well, I've never worn that singlet ever
since.

No way.

Oh yeah. Never. Never wore it,
never will. But yeah, that.

Just call the match at that.

Um, no, because it was like just enough to
where like I was good, but like
my underwear wasn't good.

But you and your opponent knew what happened a little
bit.

I don't know if my opponent did, but I did. I felt it.

No.

Yeah, it was bad.
Yeah.

Wrestling. In my brain. Wrestling is like
the worst sport to have a bathroom emergency.

Yes.

Cuz you're so.

I mean, it is kind of track, actually.
Yes. I. You gotta imagine sprinting
down for the last hundred meters. You turtle heading. You
know, been through that situation
where I finally made it to the bathroom. I actually needed to go
before the start of the race, which. The race was the
3000. Okay.

Yeah.

So that's at least 10
to 11 minutes of me having to take a deuce.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah. And then I actually forgot
all about it until I got home.

Really?

Yeah, just.

Yeah, it's. I mean, that. That happens. Yeah.
I. My understanding is like people that run really
long distances, like marathons or even like cross country.
And I should ask your brother this.
Hm. Um. But they'll just poop their pants.

Some people.

Yeah, they're just like.

I've seen it.

Really?

Yeah, I was uh, watching State.
I think this was like 2017. There was a girl.
Uh, no. Yeah, there's a girl that wasn't
muddy at the course. And I can. I only know that because everybody
else wasn't muddy. But like.

But there's mystery mud.

Like she had some mud just slung down her back and
she was the only girl, so. And it wasn't like on
her upper back, it was just.

Yeah.

Legs and below the mud pie. Yeah.
So I've seen it once. That's.

That's a sight, dude. I.
But yeah, wrestling. So intimate. Because like, intimate might not be the.

Right word, but intimates the correct way.

I mean, you're. You're so in close that it's just.
And there's so much reaching and grabbing that I feel like
it. It's just. It's just a danger
zone for anything bathroom
related. Uh, even wet like, even if you just peed, it's
like.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Because, like, those singlets are only so
thin.

Yeah.

And, uh, well, I like a
lot of the younger kids. Sometimes they don't do the
12 pumps. So, um,
they'll get a little dribble, Drabble on their sink lit, and you can see
it.

Yep.

Yeah, that happens sometimes.

That and old guys. That's like an old guys thing because apparently,
like, there's a lot of dribble when you get older.
I don't know, not much wrestling, but, like, you'll see it. It'll be
like the old man dribble in the pants.

Huh.

Maybe I need to quit looking at the crotch.

Maybe that's.

That's maybe what we've learned.

General consensus.

Yeah. Well, I learned something today. Maybe pay less
attention to male genitalia.
Yeah. Yeah. Just really, any genitalia, I think is
probably good news. Good advice for
me. Um, so, Mikey, I have a
number of questions. Um, but I will say if you have
any bathroom stories, you can share them throughout

(10:59):
or you can share them up front or as we go. If
you have something that sparks your,
I, uh, guess, recollection, you can share. But do
you have any bathroom stories to open up
with?

Okay.

So besides having a little poo during
wrestling. Yeah.

So I actually just got off the phone with my mom, um, because
I wanted to confirm this story. And
I don't know, I was about seven or six
already, uh, in bed. My mom says probably around
8:30, 9:00, something like that. And I was,
uh, sitting on the toilet, doing my thing, and all of a sudden
I just. I threw up all over the

(11:35):
ground. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And
so instantly the first thing I like,
you know, Cheaper by the Dozen was out. So,
like, that was a big movie that we watched. And
first thing that came out of my mouth was like, clean
up on aisle three. Clean up on
aisle three. And I just hear

(11:56):
pitter patter. Both my parents come into the bathroom and
they're like, oh. And, uh, oh, you know, they
cleaned it up for me and they were very,
very nice about it after, you know, they laughed at the whole
cleanup on aisle three thing.
What kid does that when they're sick? Obviously
me. Uh, yeah, And I just

(12:17):
went back to bed after that. But yeah, that's the.
When you told me to come up with a story for the podcast, that was the first thing I
thought of you.

Just. So wait, there
you were just like. Were you sick?

I have no idea.

Just went. Just threw up.

I Just, like, went to go take a poop and threw up on
the toilet. Yeah.

That's crazy. That's wild.

I don't know if it stank. I don't. I don't know. Huh.
Huh. Yeah. It's kind of nuts, actually.

Huh. Huh. That's a mystery. I.
Yeah.

Oh, and I, like, have a terrible weak stomach.

Oh, really?

Yeah. Uh, yeah. So, like, any poop
in general or, like,
we work out of high school, so, like, if we go into the
bathrooms.

Yeah.

And it's stinky. It's, you know, I'm
a gag a bit.

Really?

Yeah. So I can't pick up my dog's poop if he poops inside on
accident. Like, even the, like, little dog poop.
Uh, we can't do it. Really? Yeah. I
absolutely hate poop.

Is it. Is it just the poop smell or.

Is it, like, poop in general? I don't like the warmth. I don't
like. Yeah, yeah, it's weird.

I'm everything in my. I'm trying to just not, like,
describe it in full detail to just. But I won't do
that.

Please. No, please do. That's what I care for.

Just, like, you know, I get it, though.

I don't, uh, like, nessa. My poop
is never bad for me at
least. But, like, I guess
other poop.

Yeah.

Is.

No. So what do you. Like. So at the high school, we
often use the same staff bathroom.

Correct.

Have you found. Because. And we don't need to name names, but,
like, there are certain staff that blow it up
bad.

Yes.

Have you. Have you dialed that in?

Yes.

Okay.

I believe I have to one specific person.

Do you work with them?

No.

Okay. Yeah, I didn't think so. Do they, uh. Do they
possibly, maybe share a wall with,
you know, me?

Yeah. And I believe he might be English.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Very good. And. And I. And I think, you know, I think it's good to own
that. I think there's, like, a less than 5% chance he'll ever hear
this. Um, his taste seems to
be very different, so.

But I heard he reads a lot of poetry, like, in his
downtime. Uh, like, he's
very different.

I literally. I literally cannot relate to that in. In
any way.

I don't read outside of work, obviously.

I like, I read when I
have time, which is. Just doesn't happen.

Like, I read the subtitles on TV a
lot.

Uh, same. Yep. Yep. And I'll read, like,
I read for my jobs a lot, which is, I think, why I
don't read for pleasure. Because I, like, I spend
all day reading notes and files and
emails and.

But when you were a kid, how often did you read? Did
you, uh, read as a kid?

Some. Not much.

See, I used to be like. I don't know if, like,
every school did it, but we did AR points.

Oh, yeah, dude.

Right?

AR is great.

And I was in that Hundred Point Club,
200 Point Club. And
then all of a sudden I hit sixth grade and stopped.

Yeah.

And I was, like, reading just by myself.

Yeah.

Red hair. Read the first two Harry Potter books. One of them
in five days, the other one in six as an elementary
school.

Quick.

Yeah. So like, I used to read.

Yeah. I used to be the same. And it was AR that did
it. Because I love and still
am this way. It's probably adhd, but, like, the
gamified. If I can win or
have, like, get points, I'll do it.

But when I was in middle school, they were still doing ar and I
didn't even care.

You're like.

So, like, the objective was done for me in fifth grade,
basically. So, like, I don't.

That's interesting.

I could see your idea, but at the same time, because I got the
ADHD too.

Yeah. Ah.

Now, like, there was the
reward of you reading the books and hitting those triple
digits.

Yeah.

But, like, did you get an actual reward like
you did in elementary school or.

Yeah, I don't.

Is it just unseen points and you have
to do it for social studies?

I do think there's. I do think there's a breakdown in
the point system. And I think, yeah, middle school is probably
the age where you just kind of quit caring. You're like,
really? Your points mean nothing to
me. Pizza, uh, party.
Uh, that was me. I was very motivated by the class. Pizza
party. Even in middle school, I was like,
yeah, that seems good. Movies and pizza instead of

(16:39):
anything else.

Do you still get motivated when it's a staff pizza party?

I don't.

Is it because we're staff members and we
deserve more than the cheap box of pizza?

That's part of it. The other part is I rarely just get
pizza. It's usually pizza attached to a meeting I
hate.

Oh. And we're not knocking on anything either.

We're.

We're just speaking truths.

Yeah. Oh, and anybody that I would. That would
be upset has already heard this from me. So, uh, I'm like,
yeah. It's like, okay.

That's why I haven't shown up to anything.

Yeah. Well, see, and I respect
that and I am there and I'm going,
I shouldn't have been here because I don't need any of this.
I think. I think in the last two years, I've gone to maybe
two meetings that had information that was like, you know
what? I actually really needed to know that now
there's information that I go, okay,

(17:28):
like, I get why they wanted me here. It's somewhat
pertinent, but like, and then
probably 50% is. And.
And it's not even bad info. It's that the
demographic of kids that I have and that I work with,
it's never going to apply to them. Like, AVID stuff.
Uh, my kids are not doing avid. Like, they're just not.
Like, even if I try and I do because I'm supposed to,

(17:51):
they. They get angry and why are I doing this? And I'm
like, well, because this is what we're doing. We're going to try it. And
then it's like pulling teeth.

Well, also, with the population of students that we do
work with, like,
I can tell you, within my
adhd, I can't do no AVID notes,
no Cornell style notes.

I never.

I'm going to do what I could do that's best for me.

Yeah. Ah.

And yeah, like, that's what my
students do. And if your students want to do
that, then they would. Right, But.

Right. I just tell the kids, I'm m. Like, listen, notes are
for you, so take them however you best
learn. If that's like writing a line or
drawing a picture and labeling, I don't care. But, like,
the notes are for you, so do whatever.
Um, it's probably not the most teachery thing to tell them,
but we gotta.

Do what we do.

I'm m pretty hands off on as far as, like, this is how it must be
done. I'm like, I have kids that are like,
can I just tell you the answer? And I'm like, sure.
Saves me some grading. Let me get my notebook out so I
can write down that you did this so I don't forget.
Um, yeah, it's a wild
world. Uh, so I have a number of questions. We're

(19:01):
gonna start through them. M. And if we get to one and you're like, oh,
gosh, I have a story. Stop me at any time because
that's usually what happens. Um, the first is what type of toilet paper
to use at your house.

I don't know. Costco.

One Costco signature.

Yeah, yeah, I know it's Costco.

Yeah. But now, do you. Do you buy the Costco
brand or are you getting. Because Costco also Sells
Charmin. The big. The big bear.

I think we're getting the big bear.

Oh, really? That's primo.

Yeah. Now, I don't know
what kind of toilet paper it was. My roommates had this. We just
moved in with some guys. Uh, they have this toilet
paper that had like, waves where
they like, it breaks all Charming, right?

Yeah.

But like, it was the most soft toilet paper. Felt
like diamonds.

Yep, yep.

I never, never had that.

That's the beautiful bears. They. They're just doing good work at
Charming.

Yeah, but I. We just get to just Costco
brand. No.

Yeah.

I don't know. We get. We get bears.

I think you are. You kind of like
toilet paper agnostic, where you're just like, you know what? I'll use
whatever.

No. Oh, I absolutely hate the
single ply.

Like what we have at the school.

Correct. If it feels like my fingers about to go through, I
don't feel like it's safe. Or if it feels like it's
giving me a paper cut on my bum.

It'S gonna whoopsie blast himself. Just.
Yeah.

Uh, no, thank you. Uh,
if it feels like paper towel, you probably shouldn't be
using it on your butt. Yeah.

Yeah, that's true.

Have you ever had a used paper towel? Oh, yeah.

Oh, I've. I've used so many things.

Kawhi. Oh, pillowcase. Uh,
that is the soft side.

Go ahead. How did you get to that
point.

So, you know, took the girlfriend out fishing.

Oh, yeah.

I. I'm a very serious
avid trout fisherman because I don't like to
spend all day to go catch limit. So I'll go catch my five
and go home as quick as possible. But took, uh,
my girlfriend out and, uh, we was over at
Green Peter Lake in Sweet home, and I really
needed to go to the bathroom. And so we started packing up. And the
closest bathroom for us was probably five

(21:13):
miles away from where we were.
And by the time we got up to the top of
the car, I was like, I really have to
go.

It's time now.

It was. It was very much time right then and there.
Uh, my girlfriend had a body pillow in the
back seat, and she
allowed me to use the case that was
on it.

Um, oh, my gosh.

There was a, like, soft, fuzzy side and then
like a smooth, non fuzzy side. I used the
soft, fuzzy side because I feel like it would catch more.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What an experience.

And I'm all
against the littering, but I'm pretty sure that pillowcase is
still there.

It's part of nature.

Now that was almost three years ago.

Wow.

Yeah.

Still there.

And it's still out there probably because, like, I still go to this. I
was. I was hidden, secluded, but I was, like, off the
side of the road. So if a car was coming.

Yeah.

I could see the car, but the car couldn't see me.
Yeah. So, like, when I still go fishing, we call that my
spot. And like, uh, yeah,
things happen. I can't. Toilet paper.

Now that's where Mikey's special pillowcase lives.

Yeah, she wasn't happy about that.

Oh, man. Just curious. How come
you didn't go for the sock? Like, rip the sock off and,
like, just use the sock?

I'm pretty sure my socks were wet and in my
bag. Oh, yeah. Uh, when
I go fishing, I typically go to, like, multiple
locations throughout the day at the lake.

Okay.

And so usually at the first location is at the
Green Peter Dam. I'll be out there. And, uh, it's a little
slippery, so sometimes I fall in.
Happens actually, more times than not. If I don't fall in
while I'm there, then I'm probably not doing something
right.

Oh, my gosh. You're just planning to
fall in every time.

Sometimes I don't wear socks while I'm out there just
so I can have, like, no wet sock, just wet shoe.

I will say, Mikey, I think you
might. You can't be the only. But you are the first that I know
that's used a pillowcase. So hats off
to you.

Thank you. I appreciate that.

That's some next level stuff. Um, when the toilet papers on
the roll, do you prefer it to fold over
under. What do you. What do you got going on?

It goes over.

Oh, okay.

It goes over.

So you're. That's pretty definitive.

Yeah. So, like, uh, you seen,
uh, m. What's that show?
What? The autistic doctor. Dr.
Murphy. Oh, oh, the good dog.

The good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, he gets a girlfriend
and into a relationship and they get into an argument about what
side the roles on.

Yeah.

And I like mine to be over
and I'm not the person to put the role on.
Yeah, no. Every time I like, I'll grab a new
role and just throw it on the counter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sit on the floor. That's when I do.

So that. That. That annoys my girlfriend and I feel like she
does this intentionally. While she'll put the flap on the inside.

Yep, yep.

And so then I like, I fix it every
time. So I actually. I
probably should stop putting it on.

It seems like it's a bit on you.

Yeah.

Um, so why is. Why do you believe
that that's the way it should go?

I'm, uh, really lazy, in all honesty, and reaching
over that two to three extra inches
is kind of absurd.

No, it's. Mikey.
Yes, but you're not the only one to say
that. You're not. You're not even remotely close
to the first or probably the fifth to say.
It's. It. It's easier for me to do it.

Yeah. And, like, when you roll it, do you want to roll
it upward or do you naturally want to roll
down? You want to. Naturally want to roll down. So,
like, uh, I'm.

I'm convinced it doesn't matter. Like, I'm. And
Anna's. Anna's with you, and you can see that she has
repaired ours because I probably put it on backwards, but,
like.

Yeah, it's like a
tomato. Tomato type deal. And, yes, I know I said tomato
twice, but.

Yeah, that's how. That's how similar it is. Um, how many
sheets do you use when you wipe? How many you go for?

Let's see.

Oh, yeah. This is where we really get diving in deep here, where we're just like,
huh.

So, actually, it's weird. I'm. I'm a crumper. Like, I'm a
roller.

Okay.

So, like, yes, sir.

You. You're a crumple.

Yeah.

Really? Tell me more.

I just. I don't know. I crumple it up.

And when did that start? Just, like, since I
was.

Like, ever since I could wipe my butt.

It's like. It's like finding a unicorn. When you find a crumpler,
it's like finding a rare, rare gem.

I don't know. I'm a crumpler, so my son is a crumpler.

I. No clue where that behavior.

As long as I'm clean, I don't care how it gets
wiped. But I feel like if I get that
two to three, that's just soft.
I don't know how to, like, explain it, but, like, it feels like the
toilet paper is moving.

Yeah.

In my hand. If I crumple it, I've got,
like, enough toilet paper to where I could do my thing without
getting anything moved.

Yeah. Silas described it as,
um, the. Because the paper has
ridges, it collects more poop.

He could be onto something. But, like. Yeah, I don't like the
whole. Because then I feel like I just have a slighty.
Slighty wipe and
slidey wipe. Nobody wants that. Slidy
wipes.

That's where you just. You Just keep going back. Do, do, do you. I mean,
you go four or five, six, wipe job if it takes it. Sometimes
eight.

Yeah. But sometimes you just need a two to three wipe
job with a crumple.

Yeah.

Have you ever crumpled?

I've done it once just because I.

Now that you're a little older, try it again.

I just, I. I'm afraid that I'm just going to get poo on my
fingers.

You got. You'll find the. Trust me, you'll find the right amount
of.

I don't know man, it's.

And you'll find the right way to crumple it.

Oh, the
crumpling is something else. That's great, Mikey.
Um, and I guess you probably would be like, yeah, I just grab a
bunch and crumple because you know, you're not really counting. See me, I'm
like, I count out like three or four and I fold. And I fold.

And I go, yeah, I can't do it, man.

Okay.

I feel like pooping. Shouldn't be that much work.

Shouldn't be math involved with taking a dump.

Correct. Unless you're counting how much
weight you've lost from the like the time that you
haven't gone to the time you went. That's a good
mathician right there.

Have you ever like. I mean obviously you've done it because you've brought it
up, but like, do you ever. Was, uh, there
ever one that was like astronomically different? Like,
oh man, I can't believe the size of that.

I think on a
routinely basis when I was in school, checking my
weight, going to practice, whatever, I
would sometimes drop like a two to three piece.
Yeah. Yeah.

That's a big one.

Yeah.

Either that or it's just a lot of it.

And it's like I was the 126 pounder
that walked around at 130. Cuz
I ate anything I pleased.

Yeah. Ah.

But then cut down like two days or uh,
the day of because I only had to cut four to six
pounds. I can do that in practice.

Yeah.

So like I'm eating basically up until
the day of and then everybody
else's.

Salad and I can only have a little
bit, man.
That's. That's a big job.
Um, do you use bar
soap? Are you a bar soap or a liquid soap, lad?

Liquid for my hair, obviously. Bar
soap.

Really? Yeah. Okay.

So I uh, I respect that. Dr. Squatch.
Shout out.

I'm squatching it. It's right over here.

This is not a paid promotion.

It's not.

Um, but unless unless.

Unless, Dr. Squatch. Unless you're listening.
It could be, uh, it's not.

But you know, it could be,
uh. But yeah, Dr. Squatch. Uh, let's see. I've
got probably like seven bars in the
closet right now. Christmas, you know, I got
a bunch.

Yep. I've got a box that's full of Squatch
right now.

I think right now I'm using the Star wars ones.

I think I've got the. The red, white and blue one that they did for 4th
of July this year.

I did not get that one.

It was. It came free with an order
and then because it was free, I was like, I gotta use it first.
It feels weird to use it last. I don't
know.

Do you like grit or no grit?

Um. Um, I haven't messed
with a grit one yet, but I'm. I have
some. And like, the next one I use is going to be a grit.

It feels so exfoliating.

Yeah. Is it pretty good?

Yeah. And like,
have Silas try it.

Yeah. Ah.

After wrestling practice.

Okay.

So like, really get it.

Really get him lathered up.

So, like, I don't know if
this happens to him, but like,
when I get home after practice,
I'll already start. Be like welting up.

Welt?

Yeah.

Like sweat.

Yeah. From the sweat on my shirt or the material.

Interesting.

Like it looks like zit starting to
form already, but it's like a. Soon as I like
take off my shirt, they're forming.

That's crazy.

And like it just cleans them and they're gone within the next. Wow.

Yeah. He didn't have that. But it's all.

It's almost like a rash. Almost m. But like, he's. It's not.

He's not that. He's just like a 20, 25, 30
minute shower. He's just like.

That's just a typical boy shower.

He fights the shower and then the minute he's in there, it's
like definitely gonna be 20 minutes.

Does he come out red sometimes?

Yeah, he's. I mean, he's pruning and just.
He doesn't get it too hot yet. He's not to that point.
Like, I like it scalding. Like, I love a hot
shower.

Now when the water starts to cool down, do you turn it back up?

Me?

Yeah.

Uh, I'm not in that long. I'm. I'm like a five to
ten minute shower.
Yep. I also don't shower here. I shower at
the church. It's. I'm. I am just a. I'm an
Enigma. I shower more at
our church than I do at my home.

Interesting.

Yep. Uh, as in like five days a week there, one day
a week here. I don't shower on Saturday.
That's a, that's a, that's a hunter's grimy day.
If you ever catch me on a Saturday. It's. Yeah. I'm
probably not laundered.

So when we're, when we're at a wrestling tournament. I should not smell
you.

There's no. Oh, I got deodorant. I'm fresh. But
like I, Yeah, I'm. I have not showered.

I wouldn't even know uh, though because like your beard just looks
fresh. Yeah.

Some days it borders between like fresh and
homeless.

Is like I'm telling you guys right now at 7:00 in the
morning, this man's beard is a pristine.

It's because it's only had oil on it for about an hour. That
makes sense because I oil it up about 5:30 when I get out of the
shower at the church and it's just.
Yep.

Huh.

I do the whole routine there and Michael Walls are
custodian there too. And he's, he knows that. It's like we have a little bonding
moment.

Are ah, you guys over at Eastside?

Yeah.

No way.

Yeah, we're both there. He's.

I knew he was.

So we just work and we just. He just follows me around
the neighborhood. I used to be his neighbor right behind his house.
Like I could throw stuff and hit his backyard.

That's funny.

Yeah. Yeah. Back in the day. Um, how do you
feel about baths? Pro bath?

Depends, uh, on the day. Like let's
say,
I mean I'm not going to do this anymore but when I
was in school, go out on a run during
like Thanksgiving time, you know.

Okay.

There's that turkey trot race, the 5k and the 10k
and stuff.

Yeah.

Got. Dude, that super cold feet are wet. I'll go hop in
the bath.

Oh yeah.

If I'm sick I'll still, I'll still bath now.

Yeah.

Uh, oh.
Some. Sometimes I'm not too, too much
of a non manly man to admit that
I will take a bubble bath every once in a while.

It's fine.

Yeah. That's just
relaxing.

Yeah.

I'll even light a candle for myself.

You shower off before you hit the bath.

No.

You're going full soup.

Yeah.

Oh man.

Yeah, I've never done that. But also like
when I'm, when I, when I bath, I'm pretty typically
clean. Anyways. I'm not going to bath after a wrestling practice
because then I'm just going to get all that nastiness back on
me. But like, if I'm not
doing anything with my day. So I'll. Yeah. If
I'm sick, I'll go take a bath.

Yeah. Uh, it's fair.

Or sore. If I'm sore, uh, I'll take an Epsom salt
bath. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a very big
believer in the Epsom salt baths.

Anna hits them up all the time. She's got the little bag.

Yeah.

She's got like a coconut flavored one or something. Right.

Delicious. Eucalyptus is a good one too. I like
eucalyptus. Minty pine tar.

Yeah. It's gotta
be a smell because it is m. Oh. What? Okay.

Yeah, they make a, uh.

Squatch.

Yeah.

Really? Uh, I probably have it in the cupboard. I don't even know
it. Um, you ever take a snack in the bath
or in the bathroom?

I um, mean, I've taken beverages into the
bathroom. I mean the best one that
I've ever had would probably a Michelob
Ultra.

Ah.

After like a freaking hot day.

A little shower. Little shower drink.

Yeah, a little shower drink. That's all I've had.

That's right. Uh, um, no snacks
though.

Not that I can think of. When I. I can see like
with.

The, with the poop gag, it's probably not like
a thing you're going to seek out often.

Probably not. Honestly. And like, I've got a bunch of
friends who eat cereal in the bath.

Okay.

Or like in the shower.

Cereal in the shower, you say?

Yeah. Like they're like, uh.

And you know more than one person that does this.

Correct.

Is it milked? Like is it cereal and milk or.

We just go and it's fall cereal.

How does the water not like invade?

I'm assuming they put like the shower head down.

Yeah.

To run down their back.

That's like. That's like a long snack.

Like depends on how big your bowl is, I guess.

Man. Cereal. I'm going to have to try it.

You should.

I'm going to try it.

Also, viewers at home, Hunter, uh, talked to me the other
day about eating an orange, like
an apple while in the shower.

Yeah. Have you ever. Have you given it a shot or.

Have you considered or. No, I have
not. I don't. I don't.

Not going to partake.

I work multiple jobs. One of them being at a
grocery store in a produce department to
ruin produce. I genuinely don't bring home
fruit.

Uh, you see it too much.

I know what goes on, you
know, and it's,
uh, just. It's sometimes
scary. Obviously, I know you got to wash your fruit and veggies
before eating it, and there's a very big reason why you should do
that. Uh, but yeah, it's.
It's absurd. Oh, no, you should.

I never.

Cuz, like, unless Anna washes them before.

She puts them in the fridge. But I.

Are you an organic or non organic?

Oh, non organic.

Non organic.

I think organic's made up.

Okay. It is,
um.
Uh, that's a, that's a conversation for another day, though.
Anyways, basically you've got
all these produce items, let's
say kale, charred, all of that fun
jazz. Right. Uh, they're supposed to

(36:32):
be soaked for about 10 minutes
before they get thrown onto the shelf.

Yeah.

Now in order to do your job
in a timely manner.

Uh-huh.

Because you got to get it done by like 10 o'clock and the whole
thing cleaned and stalked, trimmed and
soaked.

Yeah.

And I can tell you that sometimes the soaking
doesn't prove to be effective because
people will, uh, still pull out bugs. And like,
I've pulled out like little
larvae. They look like
white caterpillars, but they weren't caterpillars.

Oh, yeah, I've seen, I've seen these. And like when we grow
stuff in our garden, I've seen it.

Yeah.

And I. Anna soaks the life out of that stuff.

Yeah. I don't know.

You can like see him floating after you.

Correct.

I think that's the point.

And it's nasty.

Yeah.

And like, I don't know if you want Dead Bug
Corp.

I. I don't ever. I don't like
vegetables.

Veggies are delicious though. But yeah, no, it's,
uh. Yeah. And like
with. Ridiculous story is like, some girl bought
carrots and carrots are going to be dirty in the bag.
Right. They come out of the ground, they're gonna be dirty.

Yes.

Girl returned the carrots and was like, I don't want these. I'm
getting a new bag. These are too dirty. Excuse me,
ma'am. You need to be washing your carrots before you eat
them. There's gonna be dirt on every bag.

Yeah. And I mean, if a lot
of people are gonna peel that too, like, that's gonna do a
lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not like, if we're
making like taters or something, I'm washing the potato.
I'm more talking like when I get an apple,
it's just going straight in the lunchbox. Like there's No,
I. I don't think, like, I assume

(38:17):
somebody between the tree and me has washed it.

Probably, yes. But then also, you gotta think about all
the kids that run through
and like, like, you, you know,
your kids. Right. They're. They're pretty fairly young. You know,
their hands aren't the cleanest at all times. They're
so like grimy.

Grimies.

My thought process is, even if your kids are
clean, they're still dirty. And there are kids
who are going to be dirtier than that.

That's true.

And so I'm just. I'm not going to throw an apple from the
table into my mouth.

That's fair.

I would at least wipe it down. Oh.

I always give the. I always give the shirt shine.

As long as it's shiny, you're good.

That's kind of what I do. I do it until I kind of get the little
thing. I'm, um. Well, yeah.
Little insider. Insider info.
Um. You ever taken a dark shower?

Yes.

Yeah. Do you. Is that like a regular thing or.

No.

Okay. I do it, like, almost every time.

I don't like the dark.

Oh, yeah. Cool. Neither does my son.

Yeah. So, um,
I don't. I also don't know if this is like,
just a me thing, but when it's dark, I usually have
TV on. So, like,
when it is dark, I can't sleep in the silence.

Okay. Yeah.

So, like, I have to have, like, music or
some sort of noise.

Yeah, we make the Amazon thingy
make, like, white noise.

Yes. I watch TV
for, uh, my sanity, but my girlfriend thinks it's
just because I need a light nightlight.
Um, but yeah, I don't
like the dark.

It's fine.

I still run through the house.

Really?

Yeah.

What?

Like at my mom's house, if I'm like, house sitting and
turn off all the lights, I'm running through the house.

Oh, dude.

Yeah.

So. So I'll tell you real quick. We just played
this game with our church teen group. Um,
it's Mafia. All the lights are out. It's like pitch black
in the church and everybody's walking around in the
dark. And so. So that probably wouldn't be a thing.

That you're probably not. I don't. I
don't. If I can feel like
I. Oh.

And there are people that are, like, just there to scare the other people.

And that's the precise thing. I don't do jump scares either. So,
like, uh, saw a haunted maze
once.

Oh.

And as soon as they turned on the chainsaws, I was
Gone.

He's through the side of the corner.

Like, yeah, uh, I'll finish the corn maze.
But, uh, yeah, yeah, I don't,
like.

I don't, like, scare. Like, I don't like scary. I
just.

And, like, another thing, too, is, like,
for me, those, like,
let's say Freddy Krueger. Not a big issue for
me.

Okay.

Ghost face. Not a big issue for me. Like,
scream.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah. Those aren't big issues.
Anything, uh, that has to do with possession or
demons, like. No,
thank you. Uh, if any of our
viewers ever seen Salmon Colby, you know,
uh, those YouTubers, I cry almost every episode.

Salmon Colby, Yeah.

To.

Check this out.

They're, uh. They used to go
and explore abandoned places.

Oh, see, I love that stuff.

And then they got arrested.

Okay.

For trespassing.

I've heard about these guys. Yes, yes, yes.

Now they do paranormal videos.

Yeah.

And I. Yeah, I cry almost every episode
because it, like, it. It
hits.

Yeah.

It feels too real for me.

Yeah. Yeah. It. Some of that stuff is. It's just like,
m. Um, have you.
Let's see. Oh, boy. Um, we'll start.
We'll start with this. And I. And I. Mikey,
do you know, have you ever performed
a waffle stomp?

What's a waffle stomp?

I'm so glad you asked, Mikey. So a waffle stomp
is when you're in the shower. It's when
the urge to poo hits too strong that
you. You just go in the bottom of the shower, and then you
just stomp it down the drain. Like, you just stomp it. Goodbye.

Never had that thought process. Anytime that happens to
happen to me, uh, I actually get out
soaking wet. I won't dry off. I'll just hop on.
And then, like, I'm
wet. So obviously the dookie's coming
out wet and slippery.

Yes.

And then I still
sometimes don't dry my hands because, like, I'm not wearing
pants, so I can't dry my hands off of my pants. Obviously,
I won't go.

You're not gonna be able to get the toilet paper.

Uh, yeah. And so I'm not giving the towel either. So sometimes I'll grab the
toilet paper and it'll just, like, start sticking to my
hands because I'm still wet.
And, like. Yeah. So I.
So I typically try to go before I get
into the shower.

Would you ever waffle stomp it?

No. No, that would make me gag.

Yeah. So there's. So there's.
As far as my findings on the Internet, there's three categories
of People, there's you. That I think
is probably 80% of the population where they're like,
I'm just gonna get out, hit the toilet, and I might even
get back in the shower and finish up.

Oh, I will. I'll get a shower.

And then there's like, probably I would say 15%. I would
even say more that are like, I'm I'm gonna do
my best to not. But I would stomp it if I had to.
Um, and then there is this other
group. Why? Just Sorry.
I'm gonna I'm gonna leave it recording. Yes,
Anna. Oh, I've got to

(43:44):
unlock the bedroom for you. Okay. One moment.
Oh, I forgot I locked that here. I gotta scooch out.

Mickey.

Sorry. Be quick.

Five minute bathroom break. Oh,
uh, I'm getting a surprise. Hello.

Are you staying here?

Oh, that's for me? Thank
you. Ms. Sarah just gave me a gift.
She's the best. And Silas is great too.

Uh.
Oh, you got a crown.

I got a crown.

Got a little crown. That's fun. Um.
Um. Yeah. So the
Waffle Stomp is, you know,
uh youw're not
doing it. But the third category Sorry,
I had to catch where we're at. Most of this will
be deleted. Is a group of
people that will either poo into the bottom

(44:40):
of the shower and then they'll scoop it out with their
hands and put it in the toilet. Or
subcategory. They actually try to catch it. Like
poo and catch and just kind of like, toss to the
toilet now. Um, yeah.
So I have never found this person, but
apparently they're real because the Internet is full of people.

(45:01):
They're like, who you guys don't catch it.

Like, now, if I can
find someone, uh, do you want me to send you their
information?

Yeah. Wait, do you know?

I can. I can. I know a lot of people with
different backgrounds, and so I
Someone who catches their dookie might be somewhere along
the lines.

I mean, I've met a lot of weird people. Like, I had a guy, he
sent me pictures, and he's like, dude, I can poop Alphabet
letters. Like, I can make my poop shaped like letters.

No, he can't.

I mean, it was more like I think he was, like, pooing
and, like, adjusting his squat to,
like, make it fall so it was like, in the shape of a
P or in the shape of a G or, like but you, you
they did look like it, huh? Yeah. Yeah.

I gotta try that.

Yeah. I It's to me, it's like my
situation's not solid enough to be able to accomplish
things.

Uh, like that you're supposed to be stringy when that
happens.

Yeah, it's, I mean, I mean he'd have like one probably 8
inch long turd. But it was very like,
you could tell it was, you know.

Now can you tell what kind of poop you're gonna have
before you get to the toilet?

100. And mostly it's because mine are usually that kind
of like soft, flaky, like it's, it's
like diarrhea adjacent.

Got it, got it.

It's a coffee thing. I drink too much coffee.

Soft serve.

Yeah, got it. Yeah.

Not like froyo, but.

Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes like
um, Yeah, I can, I can usually tell what's going to
be. Yeah.

I, I only can depending on if my stomach starts to hurt.
Uh.

Oh, really?

Or like if my butt actually starts to hurt itself. Because.
Yeah. So like here's the thing.

Yes.

Uh, as you know, I'm
secluded.

Yeah.

From.

Yes.

Almost the rest of the school.

Yep.

And with us being
also understaffed, we. I
sometimes don't even get my second break.

Right, right, right.

So like at the time of my seclusion,
if I'm with this like my student for three hours,
I'm with them for three hours. If nobody can help me, like
even come in for five to 10 minutes so I can use the bathroom,
like, my stomach will start to hurt and
like I'll be waiting and my bottom will start to hurt
too. And like when those happen, it's

(47:15):
like explosive, powerful coming
out of a cannon type deal.
Usually, uh, leaves me in a little bit of pain,
but things happen, you know?

Yeah.

I don't, I don't.

You gotta go to the doctor and get a medical note, uh, for it. Say like,
hey, look at this. You guys called me. You
guys caused me distress.

You think that would work? You think I could get like workman's comp
for that?

I don't know. I mean if you're sitting all day and they're,
they're the conditions are making your butt hurt.

Because like, like today, from 11, uh,
o'clock to, they'll probably
give you like.

A cushion to sit on. I mean that's probably what they'll do.

From 11 o'clock to the time that you saw
me after lunch. Yeah, I had to go to the
bathroom. And that's almost two hours.

Yeah.

That was two hours. Two and a half hours almost.

Yeah.

And so like that's crazy. That one wasn't
fun.

Yeah. There's uh, there's some trouble in
those waters.

That's.

That's insane. That should not be happening.

Amen to that.

And I don't say that, like, against, like, the teachers
in charge of your situation, because I don't. I would. I think they would
be the first to be like, yeah, this should not be happening.

Um, but it's a lot of self
advocating right now. We're working on it.

Yeah, that's. That's awful. And, um,
that's frustrating. Do you have,
um. Maybe that's one of them. But do
you have any bathroom pet peeves, things that people
do in the bathroom that just. It's just triggering
or just is, like, so frustrating to you?

(48:55):
Or if you want, you can overshare and be like, yeah, my
girlfriend does this.

No, it's.
The thing that I think, like, I
dislike the most is if you're in there by
yourself and you gotta make a little bit of
grunting noise to get it out,
whatever. But, like,
I'm trying to dookie in peace. And I'm sure
the person next to you wants to do

(49:21):
struggling, like, please try to
refrain from grunting, making any sort of
noise. Don't be. Pray. I mean, maybe praise to
Jesus when you're done, but, like,
don't. Don't give no scripture to get it out.
Like, just. Just sit and dookie in
peace, like with the rest of us.

Yeah, Yeah.

I mean, I, like,
I'll sometimes, like, if I'm at
home and I gotta go, uh, and me and the
girlfriend are having conversation.

Yeah. I'll.

I'll keep the door open.

Yeah.

And she'll just be right outside. Yeah,
whatever. Yeah.

Uh, yeah, that's. Yeah. I'm not
gonna say it's normal because I think most people do shut the door, but
we, like, this door is regularly, like, just. It's just
open mostly because if I shut it, my
children will just.

It's like, fair game.

Where's dad? Bam. And it's like,
go back out. Where? There's no
reason. Oh, I'm like,
no, it's. You do it too. We go away. Yeah,
but you're doing it all right.
Scallywag.

Because dads can't poop.

Yeah, apparently dads don't poop.
Um, do you ever. Do you have a restaurant that does you the
dirtiest that just is like, fouls you up the worst?

Honestly? Not that I can think of, no. Really?
Yeah. So, like,
I mean, I guess
anywhere that has cheese, really.

Oh, really? Cheese is a game changer.

I. Lactose.

Oh, really?

Not in the way, as in, is coming
out of me instantly. I'll get blocked up for,
like, three days.

Oh, yeah, that'll.

Yeah, I'll get. I'll get back up for a couple times.

That's worse.

Yeah. So it's terrible.

Yeah.

And by the time I finally get to go, it's like, I'm, um.
I'm the guy in the bathroom, grunting,
screaming one out.

Yeah.

It's, uh.

Man. So no cheese.

Oh, I still eat cheese. I don't care.

You just take. Have you ever found, like, something that helps with
that?

Like, because probably the coffee that I
drink.

Yeah.

Because, like, it. It. It's worse during the
summer. Because during the summer, I'm not drinking as much coffee.
Right. Because right now I'm drinking two to three cups of coffee a
day.

Yep.

And keep it loose as soon as,
like, summers. Summer starts.

Yeah.

It's. I'm still getting my caffeine by drinking soda or
rock stars or whatever.

Yeah.

But I'll get a Dutch Bros maybe once a week. Once every
two weeks. And, like.

Ah.

So I think that's what's doing it is the
coffee.

Because I know some people that have lactose.
They've got the, like, lactate or, like, milky or whatever
the pills are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can sling those back and it.

Like, neutralizes, but for a minimal amount
of time. Yeah.

Okay.

I've. I've got. I know plenty of people who use it.

Yeah. Juana uses it every now and then, but,
um. I just did. But that's more like when
the. When the dairy does the
opposite direction, like, where it's.

I think so.

Yeah. Because I haven't found anybody that's like, oh, yeah, it plugs me up.
And this helps. It seems to not.

Mirror. Lacks. Helps with the other one.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's also a laxative.

Really soften it up. Yeah. You don't want any more wrestling.

Wrestling.

You can't. That's too good.

Yeah.

Well, when you started that story, I was thinking, why is he,
like, what was the point of the laxative? And then you were like, yeah,
to help cut weight. And I was like, all right.

And that. That's the sad part. I just needed to cut, like, two pounds. I didn't want to
go run anymore. So you just. Yeah.

Is that. And that works? Huh. Huh.

It did. But. Oh, man, I made
weight. Suffered the consequences with
it.

Yeah. So did the other guy.

Just a little bit. I mean, he came out
on top. So in reality, who had
the worst of that one?

Yeah. Oh, uh,
gosh, that's. That's a rough.
That's a rough look.

Uh, any future wrestlers out there, please don't
take laxatives to lose weight.

Yeah.

Lesson learned.

Yeah, don't do that. Um,
yeah, that's. I couldn't imagine.
Um, well, Mikey, we're. We're pretty close to the end
here. I. I always ask everyone at the end of the show if you
have any bathroom wisdom you want to bestow
on people. What if you had advice or just
sage wisdom about the bathroom? What would you tell

(53:46):
people?

Honestly? Uh, don't take your phone in there.

Okay.

Because like, I do it all the time.

Yeah.

But sometimes I'm done pooping and
five minutes later I'm finally getting done with my
business. Uh, but also actually just
learned this the other day. Uh,
you apparently should not be blowing your
nose while on the toilet.

Yeah, I've heard this. And this is, uh, this is going to be
a look into thing, but yeah.

And like going back to
grunting, you should not be grunting and trying to like,
force it out, you know, and so
like, uh, a little weird. K. If you're in the
situation to where you feel like you got a grunt, you got to like
pulsate your butthole in a way.

Shoot.

Yeah.

Uh, yeah.

And like, it'll just. At some point, once it comes out, it'll just keep
going. Kegel. It just basically. And it
like it slowly works its way out without having
to put so much strain. You shouldn't be straining.

I never have to strain. Mine's like, again.
It's. There's. It flies right out.

And that's the coffee.

Yeah, it. It has to be because
I like liquids that I drink are like
coffee and either sugar free. And
I know sugar free is bad. I know people tell me all the time, but like, this
is pretty much water with essence.
I'm. I'm an old man as far as what I drink.

That's okay.

Yeah, no, that's good advice. Um, I think
the sneezing on the toilet is like, it
prevents like, hemorrhoids or like you like poop in your guts or
something. I don't know. I think. Wild.

Yeah. That's some science. We gotta.

I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to go do a little science.
Um, looking into that. But,
um. Well, cool. Mikey, thank you for doing this.

Of course. This was fun.

Ah. Uh, it was.

I would love to be here again.

Sweet. We'll. We'll set it up for. For future. We'll
have to. Maybe we'll have to combo deal you with somebody. I've
done a couple of doubles, and those are always like, oh, my
gosh.

You know, I wouldn't mind if you can
get j. A in here.

Oh, um.

My head teacher.

Yeah. For many reasons. I don't know if that'll
happen, but.

Probably would love to. I feel like that would be so fun.

I'm a pretty open book as far as, like, if someone's willing to
sit down with me in a bathroom, I'm willing to try to
figure out how to make. I'm trying to think, like, yeah,
coach wearman. I can see you and coach wearman.

Doing a good show. That would be fun.

Or. Or. Or you and your brother. If I could get your
brother, I.

Honestly, I don't think that could happen.

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, he's got the dad life. And, like.

Yeah. I have a way of, like, making
people realize. I think it's when they're like,
oh, wait, he's a dad.

But also, you got to think, too. It's like, me and my brother, we're.

You're pretty different.

We're cut from the same cloth.

Yeah.

We're.

Yeah.

Different material.

That's so true.

Uh.

Like, it's so funny to me. Like, you guys are so
funny.

I remember. I think it was last
year, I went into your room, and I. Like, I said something.
Why. Why do you guys put up with his stuff? You know,
it's like, because I'm funny.
Yeah. And they think it's funny.

Yeah.

So I don't think my brother.

I think it's just because you're the little brother. You know what I mean? Like,
I think he. It's. He's like, I
can't think. He's funny. He's my little brother.

And that. That's. That's what I feel like, too. I don't think he's funny. He's my
bigger brother. You know what I'm saying?

I think he is funny, though. That's why, like, he's. He's different
funny. He's like, um. Outraged at the
world. Funny to me. Like, he just. He's like, I can't believe
this. I just, you know, I cannot believe this is happening.

Yeah. I feel like my brother's lid is just.
It's. It's not completely off of
his head, but, like, he's like a little kettle.

Yeah.

You know? Whereas, like, it just sits there and dangles.

Well, he's gonna hear this. He's like.

My brother knows I love him.

Yeah.

Uh, absolutely. He's just.
He's funny. Yeah, he's funny, but I think
I'm real life scenario funny while
he's
just, uh. He's. He's funny.

He's a. He's a little more filtered, I think.

Very much so. Very much so.
Uh, it's good.

Has its place.

I sometimes don't tend to have a filter, as some people
may have learned. You know, it's great. As I'm
talking about here. Pulsating my butthole to poop.

Uh, again, it's pretty at home
on this show. I've heard, like, I had a guy, he's like, yeah, I'm gonna wash my
legs. No need. Water
runs down. There's no need to wash legs. And
I'm. And I just. And I'm sitting in like this, and I'm
going, okay,
where. How did we get here?

You know, that used to be a thought process, Right.
And, like, when.

But you were probably, you know, under
20.

Definitely, right? I was probably. I was probably
under 12.

Uh, exactly.

But it was like, why do I need to put body wash on when
I've just shampooed my hair?

Yep. And it's a thought that every. I think every kid
has, but. But that's just that they quit
being a kid at some point and they're like, no,
no, the whole thing is just randy. Like, I've
got to get the whole thing clean. Um,
yeah, so I've heard all sorts. Like, oh, I've heard
somebody's like, oh, yeah, my dad eats steak in the shower.

(59:06):
And I'm like, that is just the most baffling.
Chris Lachman told me. Eats ribs on the toilet.

Why does that not surprise me?

It doesn't surprise me, but I'm like, so once you're
there and you got the ribs everywhere,
what next? Because you're not grabbing toilet
paper. Not with sticky rib juice
all over your fingers.
Uh, right. See, like. So, Mikey, what I'm
saying is, is the. The pulsating butthole, which. It
might end up being it. I hope it's not.

(59:37):
It might end up being the title. But, like,
please. No. No, it won't.

That would be so funny.

It could be either that or just, like, something with that
pillowcase. Just the unfortunate pillowcase or
something. You know it.

But.

But it's just like, it's so at
home. Like, there's. Everybody's
different.

Chris, uh, Luckman, if you're, uh, tuning in on
this one, he'll hear it, probably. Please
reach out to me. Because, uh, one, I miss you, buddy.
Two. I think you still got that picture of me passed out
on you. Oh, yeah, Did.
Uh, my senior year at State,
uh, after I was out of the tournament, I got two 10
pieces.

>> Hunter Hoover (01:00:19):
Yeah.

>> Mikey Medina (01:00:19):
Ah, from McDonald's. Ate them and then passed out on
Chris and like, he took a
picture and sent it to his wife and, like.

Sounds exactly.

But yeah. No, uh, that's awesome, actually.
That would be fun.

Yeah. Get me.

Yes.

He'd do it too.

I. That would be great because I think he's.

He's actually. He's at least
been on. He's been on like two and a half
times. The half is a.
He played Santa.

Oh, I like Santa.

Yeah. So he was my
Santa one year.

I'll be your elf.

Are you for real? You're making a joke.
But it's an
undeniable fact that I'm looking for an angry Alfred.

If. I mean, uh, that's not a fake
thing. Like how angry wrestling
coach angry.

Or like, uh, bring whatever energy you need, like,
uh, just how you really.

Feel in real life situation. Yeah,
Yeah, I can do that.

Yeah. So that's really the. The motive. Also
there is this little, like, undertone of like, you're a little jealous of the
reindeer because Santa has
like, I don't know, Santa takes baths with the reindeer.
It's the world of.

Privy's got a weird Christmas
imagination.

Yeah. Yeah. Our. Our. Our Santa is a
little different than. Than most.

Okay.

Yeah. It's essentially just Chris, but
shirtless.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Nice.

Yeah. So we can talk about that because that's
a for real thing that I'm working on
currently. Well, Mikey, thank you for being
here. Um. Um, I'm going to do. The part of the
show that I tell people when they're on is like, you know, when
if you have a dog or you have a dog and they're in the
backyard and they're taking a dump
and they always, like, make eye contact with you while they're

(01:02:14):
pooping.

Yeah.

And they're like. They know that you're watching them and they can't
really do anything about it. So the dog is me
right now, closing out the show because
now that we've had this nice conversation, I get to sit here and just
talk and say all the emails and stuff
while you watch. And I feel like a dog taking a dump.
So that's the part of the show that we're in
now.

Cool.

So this has been another episode of Privy. Thank you for being
here. Uh, well, we'll Keep the social stuff short. You
can follow us previewcast. Do you want people to find
you on the Internet?

They can.

Where do you want people to find you?

Uh, geez. I only got Facebook
and I don't really use my
Instagram. But yeah, you can find me on
Facebook, Instagram, or like, Snapchat. Uh,
I think it's.

We'll stick some links in there, too.
Magic.

Uh, underscore mikey3 for
Instagram.

It's too good.

Yeah, that is a. That is my Instagram name. I
think my Snapchat is like, Mikey is a God. Which, you know,
think about it now. Probably shouldn't have made it that. Because I am, um,
nowhere near God, like,
anymore. I guess you could say I used to be fast at
one point, but that was about it.

Oh, Mikey.

Yeah, it's too good.

Yeah, we'll put links down below, but go check Mikey out.
Say hi. Uh, check out what he's doing. He's doing good
stuff with the wrestling team and. And there's sometimes
some things on there about that.

Yeah. So if you ever have any kids wrestling Monday, uh,
November 4th through, like, January,
who knows when. Yeah, send your kids up.
Yeah, email me, send me a
message. Ah, on Facebook, whatever. And we'll talk.

Sweet. That'd be good. Yeah, we'll build that. Keep building that.
Because you're you. And yeah, all those crew are doing good
stuff there. Um, well, yeah, this has been another episode of
Privy. Thanks for Kevin and Poddington for the use of your music this week.
You can send us an email. Privycast, gmail.com. we'll
close it out. Keep pooping in the free world. Own your
stank. Don't sneeze while you're pooping. And now, as
always, don't forget to flush.

(01:04:15):
And I just cram this right back here.
Really captures it
cool.

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