May 25, 2025 • 30 mins
As the world buzzes over a new pope, we decide to looke at some bathroom and bowel related patron saints.
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Give Thanks, Give Back: Wounded Warrior Project Living Water International -- Music: Intro and Outro Derived from: "Barroom Ballet" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ - Transition Music: "Hopeful Freedom" by Asher Fulero Accessed via YouTube free music library. Check out Asher's Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKn6_1iFFC5fxSmFgVC9Fsw https://linktr.ee/asherfulero
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-- Sources:
https://www.catholic.com/encyclopedia/patron-saints
https://www.urologynews.uk.com/features/history-of-urology/post/saints-preserve-us
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
So every morning they send a young man out with just a tray of Canadian cakes and you lookand if the syrup is dark brown then they got it.
But if it's not, if it's that clear liquidy runny color
Welcome back to Privy.
(00:21):
Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom.
I'm your host, Hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
Welcome back everyone.
Thank you so much for being here and thank you for listening to the show.
It's a pleasure to have you in my home bathroom once again.
Last time Chris joined me in the podcasting studio away from
(00:47):
podcasting studio here in the church bathroom.
It's good to be home.
I got a note.
I just cleaned the bathroom at the point of this record.
We're sparkling clean.
Like I'm talking just finished cleaning this job just a bit ago.
Look at the trash is it's spotless.
So, you know, it's the privy record super clean and deluxe edition.
(01:13):
Sparkling clean edition is a thought there, but I'm here to tell you
This bathroom had a night in the last couple of weeks that was not so clean.
I had a mid evening wake me up in my slumber bathroom that was so bad and I was trulylike, I was struggling.
(01:33):
It was one of those where when you're done with it, you're like, am I gonna be just superdehydrated?
What is my status after this?
I'm not gonna lie.
After I got up, it was one of those where you know,
You get up and you wash your hands and like you're ready to get back in bed and you getback in bed and your tumbling is like a blergh.
(01:53):
My wife sleeps hard and if she didn't, she would have definitely heard those prayers ofpetition.
I'm not sure what the culprit was.
Usually when I have a rough tumbling, I can pinpoint and pin down what caused thatsituation.
I know what I think it was.
I think it was Domino's Pizza.
(02:15):
Now,
Although I'm not confident because I had Domino's Pizza and I had a weird Tumbley but thenlater on this last week I had Domino's Pizza again at an Iwana closing and I did not have
the Rumbly Tumbleys after that.
So I'm not sure what caused this challenge and this terrible problem but it was not good.
(02:42):
It was rough.
But an hour long, it was an hour long and four flushes.
Terrible experience.
And in other completely unrelated news, they selected a new pope earlier this month.
Now, I am not Catholic, but for whatever reason, this papal selection process was muchmore public than I feel like it usually is.
(03:04):
They've selected a pope previously in my lifetime.
Like since I've been an adult, I was in Bible college the time that the last pope gotpicked.
And I don't remember all the pomp and circumstance.
I feel like this one was much more publicized.
There was a lot more chatter around the pope.
And I don't really understand it.
But they've selected a new pope and the world is abuzz because for the first time inforever, they have a pope from these United States.
(03:35):
I don't think this is the guy that they expected.
And I also think it's interesting.
The news coverage is saying, oh yeah, they selected the pope in two days.
Pope Francis died and it was definitely like almost two to three weeks after that thatthis new pope, Pope, I guess it's Leo now, I guess you get a new name when you become Pope
(03:55):
you get a new name but they've got a new one Pope Leo, previously Pope something Provostand in the world news a new pope I guess is kind of a big thing like somebody's got to
lead the lizard people in the Vatican and I'm not Catholic
So I feel mostly the same about this as I feel about Canada electing their new PrimeMinister of woke ideals.
(04:20):
You know, actually, no, the Pope is probably more interesting and somehow more important.
Canada is just tragic is they they pretty much choose to willingly continue in insanityand they're like, well, the last guy we didn't like him so much that he actually quit.
But let's pick not somebody different.
but somebody who is so similar to the last guy that maybe it'll be better this time.
(04:44):
I don't know.
Sorry Canada, I love Canada.
Do not love your politics.
Maybe I'll do better with the Vatican system of selection.
Like you send a whole bunch of people in room, pray, and then they puff smoke and then youknow it's done.
So Canadian, I got it.
They come out and whatever color of maple syrup is on the pancakes,
(05:06):
That's when you know.
So every morning they send a young man out with just a tray of Canadian cakes and you lookand if the syrup is dark brown then they got it.
But if it's not, if it's that clear liquidy runny color, they're still picking.
Canada, just a thought.
Could be a solution for you there.
(05:30):
But this week we're not here to talk about the frosty forbidden north Canada.
Though I could.
Boy howdy, could I talk about Canada for a while.
I could talk about Canada for a minute.
But we are, this week, going to talk a bit about Catholicism.
Which consequently, I could also say a lot about...
(05:57):
Before we jump into our topic this week, I am not Catholic.
I am Protestant, mostly kind of Reformed, but I love Catholic people.
Catholic people are great.
I have many friends who are Catholic.
I have many friends who used to be Catholic and I have no ill will to the Catholic Church.
I'm just not a part of it.
(06:17):
So I want to this week, since there is a new Pope in town, I thought it's as good a timeas any to visit
one of these things that has been sitting in my privy ideas notes for a while.
We're going to discuss some fun bathroom related or bathroom adjacent patron saints.
As we dive in to give a brief overview of if you're new to the game, Christianity orCatholicism in general, you might have heard that term patron saints and gone, well, what
(06:50):
in the heck is that?
The patron saints in my understanding is what at one time was kind of related to the ideaof things being dedicated to a particular church leader throughout history.
This one's gonna get spicy so we might as well make it.
Now polar, again, not sponsored but I gotta restock my polar today.
(07:10):
I've only got one box left in the cupboard and so we raspberry lime.
It's very delicious as always.
Polar, I challenge polar to make his flavor that's not good.
That's why I challenge.
But it's this idea of like things throughout church history being dedicated to variouschurch fathers or church leaders throughout its history.
(07:32):
Often these buildings, usually churches or basilicas or other constructions that are builtto display the glory of the church were built over often burial places of these saints.
And as such, they would be dedicated to those saints.
You got Saint Timothy and you know, Timothy's buried here and they build a church over topof it, thus claiming the ground on which Timothy's built.
(08:00):
And this is the Basilica, the church or the whatever of Saint Timothy.
It's how these things work.
Sometimes the remains of the saints like a leg bone or an artifact from one of them likeSaint Timothy's very good pocket watch or he didn't have pocket watches before those were
a thing.
But
You know, they would have something and sometimes they would have that and it's buriedunderneath and then they would build a church around it or it would be in a box in the
(08:25):
church and then it would be dedicated to that saint or it could even be used in some oftheir rights.
And I'm going to be honest for a moment.
This is in many ways the part of Catholicism that is just kind of a little bit too muchfor me.
Like, I understand the ties to history.
(08:46):
Like, I get that.
I love history.
I'm a big fan of church history.
Eyes open for the future.
But things like that seem like almost to be trying to be magical in some way.
As if this artifact or this finger or whatever you have, it's like, is some sort of afocus for, I don't know.
(09:08):
To me, it distracts.
I think that's what
differentiates me from many Catholics.
It's like in games we have to have a right component to do a specific magical thing.
I don't know how I feel about it.
And often these saints or these church fathers or these historical church figures would beinvoked not as one to be prayed to, but you pray along with them.
(09:32):
You pray to them so that they can help your prayer along.
Like they kind of give your
prayer a little bit of a piggyback ride up to Jesus.
And again, I think Jesus is, he's just fine.
He can hear it just fine.
It's like they're praying alongside you.
That's like the understanding as far as I know it.
Open invitation to be corrected on this, by the way.
(09:55):
this podcast is not the one in which lives much of my Bible and religious talk that existsout there.
You can go find that, parableministries.com.
But,
This one is more focused on the bathroom.
I'm just trying to give us some context for what these patron saints are.
And they would argue that these saints continue to pray for us even though they are deadand are in the presence of God because they are in the presence of God.
(10:26):
They can help usher our prayers before him when we invoke their name.
They pray with you.
All right.
As time goes on,
there were growing guidelines on how a saint would be determined or could be made into apatron saint.
Pope Urban the 8th, way back in the 1600 laid down the rules that would guide the futureselection of patron saints and the selection of which saint is your patron saint is
(10:57):
usually due to a number of things.
The first and biggest is you have some sort of artifact
or a part of their body or their burial site in that town or location.
The other is if that saint brought the gospel to that area, they might be the patron saintof that area.
(11:19):
They died nearby where the dedication happened.
So if the saint died, their body was removed.
But like it's noted that they died in that area, they might be the patron saint of thatarea.
And then there are these like
Other criteria that are pretty situational that aren't really important for our purposes,but we'll get into them.
As we move out of this mid-century into the Middle Ages, the practice of choosing a patronsaint began to leave location-based choices and be more related to the ordinary interests
(11:54):
of life.
Family, health, work, ailments, etc.
At this time,
Patron saints were being chosen for the jobs that they had to represent them.
If you were a carpenter, for instance, you would pray to Saint Joseph because Saint Josephwas a carpenter.
(12:15):
Jesus' dad was a carpenter.
Consequently, this seems to be also the time that maybe some of those names like last namecarpenter or last name baker or last name mills popped up as they were related to their
work.
Just a thought.
It's like, my name's Tony.
Are you Tony Baker?
Tony Mills?
(12:36):
Tony Bologna?
Tony Attenborough?
Tony Digger?
Tony Executioner?
What's he do?
What's his job?
Just a thought.
Patron saints at this time were also established and made related to a particular physicalor medical ailment.
This was often because that saint, that historical church person,
(13:00):
is said to have suffered or died from that ailment themselves in this life and praying tothem helps invoke the strength that they had to face that thing in this life.
One example of this is Saint Agatha who was martyred in 250.
(13:22):
She is said to be the patron saint for breast related ailments and breast cancer because
She was killed when she had her breasts cut off for refusing to marry a non-Christian.
Legend goes when she appeared to others after her death, she had her ladies fullyrestored.
(13:47):
Thus, she became the patron saint of breast related ailments with the hope that that oneday those who might have suffered those things in this life either medically or otherwise
might be like Saint Agatha themselves.
And these two, these occupation related and ailment related patron saints is where we aregoing to turn our attention for this episode.
(14:19):
This episode, we want to commit some time in honor of the new pope to talk about somebathroom related patron saints.
The first on our list is Saint Vincent Farrer.
Saint Vincent preached the gospel primarily across the British Isles where he is creditedfor converting some 25,000 Jewish people to Catholicism.
(14:46):
One of the things he did in this effort
was the repurposing and changing many Jewish synagogues into churches and parishesthroughout the region.
This is met with some controversy from Jewish writings that date from this time.
Saint Vincent was made a saint by the church in 1455, almost 40 years after his death and
(15:15):
should be noted.
Well, like, okay, that's all great.
But like you said, we're doing privy related patron saints.
And then you just told, why are we talking about this guy?
We're talking about Saint Vincent because he is noted as the patron saint of plumbers.
Really?
He's the patron saint of builders, but that is fun to talk about.
Like if you want to know, if you're a plumber and you're Saint Vincent's your guy, thepatron saint of plumbers.
(15:42):
Old reliable right here.
I suppose because those plumbers are part of buildings and trades.
I don't know.
Also, he's Italian.
Saint Vincent.
The Italian plumber.
Mario.
This is the patron saint for Mario.
Mario.
Saint Vincent's your guy.
Mario has to be Catholic, right?
(16:03):
Next on our list is Saint Vitalis of Assisi.
Vitalis of Assisi is listed
as the patron saint of bladder and genital disease.
Huh?
What do you say, genitals?
Here on Privy, the bladder and genitals feel right at home.
The bladder and genitals are right at home in the bathroom.
(16:24):
That's what we can remind ourselves.
Most disorders related to the bladder and genitals are going to manifest themselves in thebathroom at some point, right?
Maybe even the bedroom.
Hey-o.
But like, why did Vitalis get the whole bladder gig?
Like Saint Vitalis of Assisi, why is he the bladder and genitals guy?
(16:46):
It's like, they're up there picking who's gonna be saints of what and they're like, whowants bladder and genitals?
Bladder and genitals?
If you're listening, listener, if you're still here, thank you.
If you would like me to say the word genitals less on the show, shout at me.
There's a lot of disagreement about why he got this, but one account says,
(17:06):
that before Vitalis was saved, that is before he committed himself to the Catholic Church,he lived, saved, he lived a pretty rowdy and licentious lifestyle as a hermit.
During this time, hermiting about, herping about, you know what saying?
Probably, he probably engaged in some street intercourse.
(17:27):
Do you know what I'm saying?
Some just garbage trash intercourse.
So yeah, he got some weird bumps on his ding-a-ling.
you know, patron saint of genital problems.
Likewise, he is remembered by his water basket, which would leak when he tried to drawwater.
(17:47):
A leaky bladder.
Get it?
His basket leaks like those with bladder problems have a leaky bladder.
As the story goes, a similar saint combo is Saint Benedict of Nursia and Saint Marina, whoare the patron saints of kidney disease and all kidney ailments.
Likely this is because of the ailments or miracles they could have performed.
(18:12):
Saint Leborius of Le Mans is the patron saint of stones disease.
Kidney stones are like my worst nightmare.
He has often depicted this Saint Leborius as carrying these large stones, too large Imight add, to be thinking that they came out of your dang kidneys.
(18:34):
Another is Saint
Aylred of Réval, that has to be French.
No idea how to pronounce that.
Is the patron saint of bladder stone, likely causing him great anguish.
Saint Aylred got bladder and kidney stones so bad when he was alive that they made him thepatron saint of it.
Pretty much if there's an ailment or a disease or an illness, there's a patron saint forthat.
(18:59):
Polycarp was made the patron saint of dysentery.
He should have been the patron saint of the Oregon Trail because I died from dysentery somany times on the Oregon Trail growing up.
Like it's not even funny.
It's more just frustrating.
It really simulates how often that died.
People died from that in real life.
All of these, St.
(19:20):
Leborius, St.
Alred, St.
Polycarp, St.
Benedict, St.
Marina, all of these are patron saints because of the ailments that they suffered in thislife.
One.
special mention in this list is Saint Genesius, who for my money is the patron saint offart jokes.
(19:45):
Bear with me.
Genesius was a comedian in Rome who was killed.
As the story goes, Genesius, the leader of a theatrical troupe in Rome, was performing oneday for Emperor Diocletian and wishing to expose Christian rights to the ridicule of his
audience,
pretended to receive the sacrament of baptism.
(20:08):
He pretended to be baptized into the Catholic Church.
Now, when the water had been poured on him, he proclaimed himself a Christian.
He like flipped the script and said, nah, nah, nah, it is real.
Diocletian at first enjoyed the realistic play.
He thought it was all a part of the goof, but then he found out that Genesius did this forrealsies.
(20:32):
and he ordered Genesius to be tortured and, afterward, beheaded.
As such, because of what caused and led to his death, Genesius has been called the patronsaint of comedy, of which farts and fart jokes are always funny.
Somebody rips if you're sitting anywhere and it's below a certain decibel.
(20:54):
There's probably a science about this, the science of fart...
silence breaking.
But if the room is below a particular decibel and you rip a fat beaver, it is funny.
Like, it's funny.
Yeah.
Like, farts are just good stuff.
So he's the patron saint of farts and fart jokes.
(21:14):
St.
Erasmus, aka St.
Elmo's, he's also from Italy.
A lot of Italian blokes in this mess.
It's interesting.
It's almost like that's where all this stems from.
He fled the town he grew up in.
and only later reported a vision from an angel telling him to return.
So he did so.
On the way, he was questioned about his faith and when he would recant his faith.
(21:39):
He is reportedly bound and put in prison where an angel helped him escape.
Later, St.
Erasmus, St.
Elmo, is said that he was recaptured and tortured for preaching and converting others toChristianity.
Tradition states,
He was killed via disembowelment.
For those of you that don't know what disembowelment, it's where they make your bowels beon the outside of your body.
(22:04):
It's usually bad for being alive.
And in many of the depictions, he is shown as having his intestines round around awindlass.
This lends some energy to our imagery for him being the patron saint of many fishermen aswell.
But he is also the saint
patron saint of intestinal diseases and ailments.
(22:26):
IBS if you will.
Next time you saw your bog so hard on the Applebee's wingies or in my case this weekpossibly that Domino's.
Think the trouble was the Domino's Tots.
I got silly on some Domino's Tots and I think I think that might have liquid plumbered me.
(22:48):
But next time you get wild on some of them Elmo might be your guy.
gives a whole new meaning to St.
Elmo's fire.
My son this week has taken a tear on Takis.
Now, we're a household that shies away from the spicy foods in general.
And usually like if my wife makes the tacos a little bit spicier than normal, my son islike, it's too hot.
(23:15):
And so we're at Walmart and he's like, dad, I want to try blue.
I want to get some blue Takis.
And it's like, dude, you know,
He goes, no, no, no, I like them.
had them at school.
I was like, no.
But we got him a little bag of these blue talkies.
And he eats one.
He's like, ooh, it's hot.
But he likes it.
He ate half the bag.
And I'm like, dude, you're going to have fire butthole if you don't stop.
(23:40):
And I was like, give me that.
So I tried one of them.
They're not bad.
They are hotter than I normally seek out regularly.
But they were pretty good, like very limey.
Blue talkies.
New bathroom snack?
Could be.
However, when it comes to bathrooms, there's one saint who takes the cake.
Saint Bonaventure.
(24:07):
Saint Bonaventure, also known as the Seraphic Doctor, was a prominent medieval Franciscantheologian and philosopher.
Bonaventure was reportedly, as a child, healed of a serious childhood illness through theprayers of Saint Francis of Assisi, which might have inspired that spiritual path.
(24:31):
This is assumed to have been some severe gastrointestinal condition.
As the story goes though, he had it as a young child and through the prayers of St.
Francis was healed.
He became a prominent figure writing extensively on philosophy, mysticism, and the natureof God.
He defended the faith against internal divisions within the Franciscan order and was namedCardinal by Pope Gregory X.
(25:00):
He helped prepare the Second Council of Lyon in 1274.
That is where he was later died and buried.
all of this happened in like the mid over 200 years later.
He was canonized as a saint by Pope Sixtus the fourth.
(25:21):
Now this is not about Bonaventure, but that name for a pope is very confusing to me.
Pope Sixtus the fourth.
Like why can't it be Forth just the fourth?
That would be helpful to me.
Pope Sixtus the fourth.
Later he was declared a doctor of the church in 1588, so almost 350 years after he wasalive by Pope Sixtus the fifth.
(25:50):
I want to know who was Pope Sixtus the sixth.
His feast day is July 15th, so it's coming up.
Feast day of Pope Bonaventure.
Stay tuned, mark your calendars.
fact, I'll mark my calendar right now.
Feast day of Pope of the patron saint of bathrooms.
Feast day.
Hooray.
(26:10):
It says I have a dentist appointment.
I think I should cancel.
think the feast day of St.
Bonaventure is probably a good reason to not go to the dentist, right?
While not historically confirmed through his writing or known miracles, St.
Bonaventure is considered the patron saint of bowel disorders, likely to that miraculoushealing when he was a small child.
(26:33):
If you have a bowel disorder,
St.
Bonaventure's your guy.
Things like IBS, abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, inflammatory boweldisease, IBD.
These can include Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, celiac disease, which is anautoimmune condition, that can't do gluten, diverticulitis, constipation, diarrhea,
(27:00):
hemorrhoids, anal fissures,
Bowel obstruction, dear God, help us all.
Bowel, that sounds bad.
A blockage that prevents food oh or, If you have any of these ailments or disorders, SaintBonaventure, if you're Catholic, is the patron saint for you.
(27:23):
The patron saint of helping you poop.
There's many many other patron saints.
All these patron saints start to feel like Ben 10 aliens.
There's like 198 different patron saints out there.
Gotta catch them all.
And that's more than gen 1 Pokemon.
You got saints for really everything you could think you'd need one for.
And here on privy, we're not Catholic.
(27:46):
At least I'm not.
But if we were, if the show had a patron saint,
It'd be Bonaventure, the patron saint of the privy.
So it's all in just fun, because we're not.
This brings us to the end of another episode of privy.
Thank you so much for being here.
As always, leave the show a rating or review.
I'm going show you how quickly it works.
(28:07):
You go on in here.
Don't look at my code.
You click on the thing.
You go right on into, let's pick something.
Let's leave a show a rating or review.
How do I get to my shows?
library, yes.
yes.
You go right on in here, you scroll right on down and right in there, you just click thatfive star options are preferred and it takes but 20 seconds if that.
(28:28):
Leave us a rating review for every rating review you leave.
We will donate a dollar to the Wounded Warriors and Living Water International.
Living Water International as a reminder to keep pooping in the free world.
That free world was not always free and as a pursuit for cleaner water for all.
Not everybody has it, but everybody should.
We have a store.
on the privy website privy-cap.
(28:50):
We have a store link and it's a link to our sticker mule store.
will note I'm trying to bring costs down and I'm constantly reworking how we do storeitems.
But if you want to order some stickers or other things you find there, I would love foryou to do so.
Share some pictures if you have privy swag, whether it's stickers or whatever.
Send us some pictures of that.
We'd love to share it with our social media stuff.
(29:11):
Share the show with a friend.
Tell somebody, hey, I heard they picked a new pope.
This guy talked about patron saints related to bathrooms.
Kind of similar.
Email us privycast at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
Episode suggestions, ideas, concerns, feedback.
Yeah, hit us up.
Social media, we're at privycast on all social medias.
Go check us out on YouTube.
We have video podcasts.
If you're listening to this via audio, go check us out on YouTube.
(29:35):
There is a video version.
You can see me in my bathroom.
You can see I'm still working through this toilet paper from our ranked.
My sign.
It's very dusty.
Woof.
Five stars wood poop here again.
It's a great sign.
It ought to be displayed more prominently.
We'll get that right there.
It's kind of hanging out.
But yeah, go check us out.
(29:55):
Watch the video.
As always, we want to thank Kevin and Pottington for the use of their music as the introand outro as well as our transition music.
You can check their music out on the description below.
We'll put the links in there.
This has been another episode of privy.
Thank you again for listening.
Thanks for joining me here in my bathroom.
Keep pooping in the free world, own your stank, smell the popcorn, and now, as always,don't forget to flush.
So every morning they send a young man out with just a tray of Canadian cakes and you lookand if the syrup is dark brown then they got it.
But if it's not, if it's that clear liquidy runny color
Welcome back to Privy.
(00:21):
Privy is a podcast about bathrooms recorded from my home bathroom.
I'm your host, Hunter Hoover, and I love bathrooms.
Welcome back everyone.
Thank you so much for being here and thank you for listening to the show.
It's a pleasure to have you in my home bathroom once again.
Last time Chris joined me in the podcasting studio away from
(00:47):
podcasting studio here in the church bathroom.
It's good to be home.
I got a note.
I just cleaned the bathroom at the point of this record.
We're sparkling clean.
Like I'm talking just finished cleaning this job just a bit ago.
Look at the trash is it's spotless.
So, you know, it's the privy record super clean and deluxe edition.
(01:13):
Sparkling clean edition is a thought there, but I'm here to tell you
This bathroom had a night in the last couple of weeks that was not so clean.
I had a mid evening wake me up in my slumber bathroom that was so bad and I was trulylike, I was struggling.
(01:33):
It was one of those where when you're done with it, you're like, am I gonna be just superdehydrated?
What is my status after this?
I'm not gonna lie.
After I got up, it was one of those where you know,
You get up and you wash your hands and like you're ready to get back in bed and you getback in bed and your tumbling is like a blergh.
(01:53):
My wife sleeps hard and if she didn't, she would have definitely heard those prayers ofpetition.
I'm not sure what the culprit was.
Usually when I have a rough tumbling, I can pinpoint and pin down what caused thatsituation.
I know what I think it was.
I think it was Domino's Pizza.
(02:15):
Now,
Although I'm not confident because I had Domino's Pizza and I had a weird Tumbley but thenlater on this last week I had Domino's Pizza again at an Iwana closing and I did not have
the Rumbly Tumbleys after that.
So I'm not sure what caused this challenge and this terrible problem but it was not good.
(02:42):
It was rough.
But an hour long, it was an hour long and four flushes.
Terrible experience.
And in other completely unrelated news, they selected a new pope earlier this month.
Now, I am not Catholic, but for whatever reason, this papal selection process was muchmore public than I feel like it usually is.
(03:04):
They've selected a pope previously in my lifetime.
Like since I've been an adult, I was in Bible college the time that the last pope gotpicked.
And I don't remember all the pomp and circumstance.
I feel like this one was much more publicized.
There was a lot more chatter around the pope.
And I don't really understand it.
But they've selected a new pope and the world is abuzz because for the first time inforever, they have a pope from these United States.
(03:35):
I don't think this is the guy that they expected.
And I also think it's interesting.
The news coverage is saying, oh yeah, they selected the pope in two days.
Pope Francis died and it was definitely like almost two to three weeks after that thatthis new pope, Pope, I guess it's Leo now, I guess you get a new name when you become Pope
(03:55):
you get a new name but they've got a new one Pope Leo, previously Pope something Provostand in the world news a new pope I guess is kind of a big thing like somebody's got to
lead the lizard people in the Vatican and I'm not Catholic
So I feel mostly the same about this as I feel about Canada electing their new PrimeMinister of woke ideals.
(04:20):
You know, actually, no, the Pope is probably more interesting and somehow more important.
Canada is just tragic is they they pretty much choose to willingly continue in insanityand they're like, well, the last guy we didn't like him so much that he actually quit.
But let's pick not somebody different.
but somebody who is so similar to the last guy that maybe it'll be better this time.
(04:44):
I don't know.
Sorry Canada, I love Canada.
Do not love your politics.
Maybe I'll do better with the Vatican system of selection.
Like you send a whole bunch of people in room, pray, and then they puff smoke and then youknow it's done.
So Canadian, I got it.
They come out and whatever color of maple syrup is on the pancakes,
(05:06):
That's when you know.
So every morning they send a young man out with just a tray of Canadian cakes and you lookand if the syrup is dark brown then they got it.
But if it's not, if it's that clear liquidy runny color, they're still picking.
Canada, just a thought.
Could be a solution for you there.
(05:30):
But this week we're not here to talk about the frosty forbidden north Canada.
Though I could.
Boy howdy, could I talk about Canada for a while.
I could talk about Canada for a minute.
But we are, this week, going to talk a bit about Catholicism.
Which consequently, I could also say a lot about...
(05:57):
Before we jump into our topic this week, I am not Catholic.
I am Protestant, mostly kind of Reformed, but I love Catholic people.
Catholic people are great.
I have many friends who are Catholic.
I have many friends who used to be Catholic and I have no ill will to the Catholic Church.
I'm just not a part of it.
(06:17):
So I want to this week, since there is a new Pope in town, I thought it's as good a timeas any to visit
one of these things that has been sitting in my privy ideas notes for a while.
We're going to discuss some fun bathroom related or bathroom adjacent patron saints.
As we dive in to give a brief overview of if you're new to the game, Christianity orCatholicism in general, you might have heard that term patron saints and gone, well, what
(06:50):
in the heck is that?
The patron saints in my understanding is what at one time was kind of related to the ideaof things being dedicated to a particular church leader throughout history.
This one's gonna get spicy so we might as well make it.
Now polar, again, not sponsored but I gotta restock my polar today.
(07:10):
I've only got one box left in the cupboard and so we raspberry lime.
It's very delicious as always.
Polar, I challenge polar to make his flavor that's not good.
That's why I challenge.
But it's this idea of like things throughout church history being dedicated to variouschurch fathers or church leaders throughout its history.
(07:32):
Often these buildings, usually churches or basilicas or other constructions that are builtto display the glory of the church were built over often burial places of these saints.
And as such, they would be dedicated to those saints.
You got Saint Timothy and you know, Timothy's buried here and they build a church over topof it, thus claiming the ground on which Timothy's built.
(08:00):
And this is the Basilica, the church or the whatever of Saint Timothy.
It's how these things work.
Sometimes the remains of the saints like a leg bone or an artifact from one of them likeSaint Timothy's very good pocket watch or he didn't have pocket watches before those were
a thing.
But
You know, they would have something and sometimes they would have that and it's buriedunderneath and then they would build a church around it or it would be in a box in the
(08:25):
church and then it would be dedicated to that saint or it could even be used in some oftheir rights.
And I'm going to be honest for a moment.
This is in many ways the part of Catholicism that is just kind of a little bit too muchfor me.
Like, I understand the ties to history.
(08:46):
Like, I get that.
I love history.
I'm a big fan of church history.
Eyes open for the future.
But things like that seem like almost to be trying to be magical in some way.
As if this artifact or this finger or whatever you have, it's like, is some sort of afocus for, I don't know.
(09:08):
To me, it distracts.
I think that's what
differentiates me from many Catholics.
It's like in games we have to have a right component to do a specific magical thing.
I don't know how I feel about it.
And often these saints or these church fathers or these historical church figures would beinvoked not as one to be prayed to, but you pray along with them.
(09:32):
You pray to them so that they can help your prayer along.
Like they kind of give your
prayer a little bit of a piggyback ride up to Jesus.
And again, I think Jesus is, he's just fine.
He can hear it just fine.
It's like they're praying alongside you.
That's like the understanding as far as I know it.
Open invitation to be corrected on this, by the way.
(09:55):
this podcast is not the one in which lives much of my Bible and religious talk that existsout there.
You can go find that, parableministries.com.
But,
This one is more focused on the bathroom.
I'm just trying to give us some context for what these patron saints are.
And they would argue that these saints continue to pray for us even though they are deadand are in the presence of God because they are in the presence of God.
(10:26):
They can help usher our prayers before him when we invoke their name.
They pray with you.
All right.
As time goes on,
there were growing guidelines on how a saint would be determined or could be made into apatron saint.
Pope Urban the 8th, way back in the 1600 laid down the rules that would guide the futureselection of patron saints and the selection of which saint is your patron saint is
(10:57):
usually due to a number of things.
The first and biggest is you have some sort of artifact
or a part of their body or their burial site in that town or location.
The other is if that saint brought the gospel to that area, they might be the patron saintof that area.
(11:19):
They died nearby where the dedication happened.
So if the saint died, their body was removed.
But like it's noted that they died in that area, they might be the patron saint of thatarea.
And then there are these like
Other criteria that are pretty situational that aren't really important for our purposes,but we'll get into them.
As we move out of this mid-century into the Middle Ages, the practice of choosing a patronsaint began to leave location-based choices and be more related to the ordinary interests
(11:54):
of life.
Family, health, work, ailments, etc.
At this time,
Patron saints were being chosen for the jobs that they had to represent them.
If you were a carpenter, for instance, you would pray to Saint Joseph because Saint Josephwas a carpenter.
(12:15):
Jesus' dad was a carpenter.
Consequently, this seems to be also the time that maybe some of those names like last namecarpenter or last name baker or last name mills popped up as they were related to their
work.
Just a thought.
It's like, my name's Tony.
Are you Tony Baker?
Tony Mills?
(12:36):
Tony Bologna?
Tony Attenborough?
Tony Digger?
Tony Executioner?
What's he do?
What's his job?
Just a thought.
Patron saints at this time were also established and made related to a particular physicalor medical ailment.
This was often because that saint, that historical church person,
(13:00):
is said to have suffered or died from that ailment themselves in this life and praying tothem helps invoke the strength that they had to face that thing in this life.
One example of this is Saint Agatha who was martyred in 250.
(13:22):
She is said to be the patron saint for breast related ailments and breast cancer because
She was killed when she had her breasts cut off for refusing to marry a non-Christian.
Legend goes when she appeared to others after her death, she had her ladies fullyrestored.
(13:47):
Thus, she became the patron saint of breast related ailments with the hope that that oneday those who might have suffered those things in this life either medically or otherwise
might be like Saint Agatha themselves.
And these two, these occupation related and ailment related patron saints is where we aregoing to turn our attention for this episode.
(14:19):
This episode, we want to commit some time in honor of the new pope to talk about somebathroom related patron saints.
The first on our list is Saint Vincent Farrer.
Saint Vincent preached the gospel primarily across the British Isles where he is creditedfor converting some 25,000 Jewish people to Catholicism.
(14:46):
One of the things he did in this effort
was the repurposing and changing many Jewish synagogues into churches and parishesthroughout the region.
This is met with some controversy from Jewish writings that date from this time.
Saint Vincent was made a saint by the church in 1455, almost 40 years after his death and
(15:15):
should be noted.
Well, like, okay, that's all great.
But like you said, we're doing privy related patron saints.
And then you just told, why are we talking about this guy?
We're talking about Saint Vincent because he is noted as the patron saint of plumbers.
Really?
He's the patron saint of builders, but that is fun to talk about.
Like if you want to know, if you're a plumber and you're Saint Vincent's your guy, thepatron saint of plumbers.
(15:42):
Old reliable right here.
I suppose because those plumbers are part of buildings and trades.
I don't know.
Also, he's Italian.
Saint Vincent.
The Italian plumber.
Mario.
This is the patron saint for Mario.
Mario.
Saint Vincent's your guy.
Mario has to be Catholic, right?
(16:03):
Next on our list is Saint Vitalis of Assisi.
Vitalis of Assisi is listed
as the patron saint of bladder and genital disease.
Huh?
What do you say, genitals?
Here on Privy, the bladder and genitals feel right at home.
The bladder and genitals are right at home in the bathroom.
(16:24):
That's what we can remind ourselves.
Most disorders related to the bladder and genitals are going to manifest themselves in thebathroom at some point, right?
Maybe even the bedroom.
Hey-o.
But like, why did Vitalis get the whole bladder gig?
Like Saint Vitalis of Assisi, why is he the bladder and genitals guy?
(16:46):
It's like, they're up there picking who's gonna be saints of what and they're like, whowants bladder and genitals?
Bladder and genitals?
If you're listening, listener, if you're still here, thank you.
If you would like me to say the word genitals less on the show, shout at me.
There's a lot of disagreement about why he got this, but one account says,
(17:06):
that before Vitalis was saved, that is before he committed himself to the Catholic Church,he lived, saved, he lived a pretty rowdy and licentious lifestyle as a hermit.
During this time, hermiting about, herping about, you know what saying?
Probably, he probably engaged in some street intercourse.
(17:27):
Do you know what I'm saying?
Some just garbage trash intercourse.
So yeah, he got some weird bumps on his ding-a-ling.
you know, patron saint of genital problems.
Likewise, he is remembered by his water basket, which would leak when he tried to drawwater.
(17:47):
A leaky bladder.
Get it?
His basket leaks like those with bladder problems have a leaky bladder.
As the story goes, a similar saint combo is Saint Benedict of Nursia and Saint Marina, whoare the patron saints of kidney disease and all kidney ailments.
Likely this is because of the ailments or miracles they could have performed.
(18:12):
Saint Leborius of Le Mans is the patron saint of stones disease.
Kidney stones are like my worst nightmare.
He has often depicted this Saint Leborius as carrying these large stones, too large Imight add, to be thinking that they came out of your dang kidneys.
(18:34):
Another is Saint
Aylred of Réval, that has to be French.
No idea how to pronounce that.
Is the patron saint of bladder stone, likely causing him great anguish.
Saint Aylred got bladder and kidney stones so bad when he was alive that they made him thepatron saint of it.
Pretty much if there's an ailment or a disease or an illness, there's a patron saint forthat.
(18:59):
Polycarp was made the patron saint of dysentery.
He should have been the patron saint of the Oregon Trail because I died from dysentery somany times on the Oregon Trail growing up.
Like it's not even funny.
It's more just frustrating.
It really simulates how often that died.
People died from that in real life.
All of these, St.
(19:20):
Leborius, St.
Alred, St.
Polycarp, St.
Benedict, St.
Marina, all of these are patron saints because of the ailments that they suffered in thislife.
One.
special mention in this list is Saint Genesius, who for my money is the patron saint offart jokes.
(19:45):
Bear with me.
Genesius was a comedian in Rome who was killed.
As the story goes, Genesius, the leader of a theatrical troupe in Rome, was performing oneday for Emperor Diocletian and wishing to expose Christian rights to the ridicule of his
audience,
pretended to receive the sacrament of baptism.
(20:08):
He pretended to be baptized into the Catholic Church.
Now, when the water had been poured on him, he proclaimed himself a Christian.
He like flipped the script and said, nah, nah, nah, it is real.
Diocletian at first enjoyed the realistic play.
He thought it was all a part of the goof, but then he found out that Genesius did this forrealsies.
(20:32):
and he ordered Genesius to be tortured and, afterward, beheaded.
As such, because of what caused and led to his death, Genesius has been called the patronsaint of comedy, of which farts and fart jokes are always funny.
Somebody rips if you're sitting anywhere and it's below a certain decibel.
(20:54):
There's probably a science about this, the science of fart...
silence breaking.
But if the room is below a particular decibel and you rip a fat beaver, it is funny.
Like, it's funny.
Yeah.
Like, farts are just good stuff.
So he's the patron saint of farts and fart jokes.
(21:14):
St.
Erasmus, aka St.
Elmo's, he's also from Italy.
A lot of Italian blokes in this mess.
It's interesting.
It's almost like that's where all this stems from.
He fled the town he grew up in.
and only later reported a vision from an angel telling him to return.
So he did so.
On the way, he was questioned about his faith and when he would recant his faith.
(21:39):
He is reportedly bound and put in prison where an angel helped him escape.
Later, St.
Erasmus, St.
Elmo, is said that he was recaptured and tortured for preaching and converting others toChristianity.
Tradition states,
He was killed via disembowelment.
For those of you that don't know what disembowelment, it's where they make your bowels beon the outside of your body.
(22:04):
It's usually bad for being alive.
And in many of the depictions, he is shown as having his intestines round around awindlass.
This lends some energy to our imagery for him being the patron saint of many fishermen aswell.
But he is also the saint
patron saint of intestinal diseases and ailments.
(22:26):
IBS if you will.
Next time you saw your bog so hard on the Applebee's wingies or in my case this weekpossibly that Domino's.
Think the trouble was the Domino's Tots.
I got silly on some Domino's Tots and I think I think that might have liquid plumbered me.
(22:48):
But next time you get wild on some of them Elmo might be your guy.
gives a whole new meaning to St.
Elmo's fire.
My son this week has taken a tear on Takis.
Now, we're a household that shies away from the spicy foods in general.
And usually like if my wife makes the tacos a little bit spicier than normal, my son islike, it's too hot.
(23:15):
And so we're at Walmart and he's like, dad, I want to try blue.
I want to get some blue Takis.
And it's like, dude, you know,
He goes, no, no, no, I like them.
had them at school.
I was like, no.
But we got him a little bag of these blue talkies.
And he eats one.
He's like, ooh, it's hot.
But he likes it.
He ate half the bag.
And I'm like, dude, you're going to have fire butthole if you don't stop.
(23:40):
And I was like, give me that.
So I tried one of them.
They're not bad.
They are hotter than I normally seek out regularly.
But they were pretty good, like very limey.
Blue talkies.
New bathroom snack?
Could be.
However, when it comes to bathrooms, there's one saint who takes the cake.
Saint Bonaventure.
(24:07):
Saint Bonaventure, also known as the Seraphic Doctor, was a prominent medieval Franciscantheologian and philosopher.
Bonaventure was reportedly, as a child, healed of a serious childhood illness through theprayers of Saint Francis of Assisi, which might have inspired that spiritual path.
(24:31):
This is assumed to have been some severe gastrointestinal condition.
As the story goes though, he had it as a young child and through the prayers of St.
Francis was healed.
He became a prominent figure writing extensively on philosophy, mysticism, and the natureof God.
He defended the faith against internal divisions within the Franciscan order and was namedCardinal by Pope Gregory X.
(25:00):
He helped prepare the Second Council of Lyon in 1274.
That is where he was later died and buried.
all of this happened in like the mid over 200 years later.
He was canonized as a saint by Pope Sixtus the fourth.
(25:21):
Now this is not about Bonaventure, but that name for a pope is very confusing to me.
Pope Sixtus the fourth.
Like why can't it be Forth just the fourth?
That would be helpful to me.
Pope Sixtus the fourth.
Later he was declared a doctor of the church in 1588, so almost 350 years after he wasalive by Pope Sixtus the fifth.
(25:50):
I want to know who was Pope Sixtus the sixth.
His feast day is July 15th, so it's coming up.
Feast day of Pope Bonaventure.
Stay tuned, mark your calendars.
fact, I'll mark my calendar right now.
Feast day of Pope of the patron saint of bathrooms.
Feast day.
Hooray.
(26:10):
It says I have a dentist appointment.
I think I should cancel.
think the feast day of St.
Bonaventure is probably a good reason to not go to the dentist, right?
While not historically confirmed through his writing or known miracles, St.
Bonaventure is considered the patron saint of bowel disorders, likely to that miraculoushealing when he was a small child.
(26:33):
If you have a bowel disorder,
St.
Bonaventure's your guy.
Things like IBS, abdominal pain, gas, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, inflammatory boweldisease, IBD.
These can include Crohn's disease, ulcerative colitis, celiac disease, which is anautoimmune condition, that can't do gluten, diverticulitis, constipation, diarrhea,
(27:00):
hemorrhoids, anal fissures,
Bowel obstruction, dear God, help us all.
Bowel, that sounds bad.
A blockage that prevents food oh or, If you have any of these ailments or disorders, SaintBonaventure, if you're Catholic, is the patron saint for you.
(27:23):
The patron saint of helping you poop.
There's many many other patron saints.
All these patron saints start to feel like Ben 10 aliens.
There's like 198 different patron saints out there.
Gotta catch them all.
And that's more than gen 1 Pokemon.
You got saints for really everything you could think you'd need one for.
And here on privy, we're not Catholic.
(27:46):
At least I'm not.
But if we were, if the show had a patron saint,
It'd be Bonaventure, the patron saint of the privy.
So it's all in just fun, because we're not.
This brings us to the end of another episode of privy.
Thank you so much for being here.
As always, leave the show a rating or review.
I'm going show you how quickly it works.
(28:07):
You go on in here.
Don't look at my code.
You click on the thing.
You go right on into, let's pick something.
Let's leave a show a rating or review.
How do I get to my shows?
library, yes.
yes.
You go right on in here, you scroll right on down and right in there, you just click thatfive star options are preferred and it takes but 20 seconds if that.
(28:28):
Leave us a rating review for every rating review you leave.
We will donate a dollar to the Wounded Warriors and Living Water International.
Living Water International as a reminder to keep pooping in the free world.
That free world was not always free and as a pursuit for cleaner water for all.
Not everybody has it, but everybody should.
We have a store.
on the privy website privy-cap.
(28:50):
We have a store link and it's a link to our sticker mule store.
will note I'm trying to bring costs down and I'm constantly reworking how we do storeitems.
But if you want to order some stickers or other things you find there, I would love foryou to do so.
Share some pictures if you have privy swag, whether it's stickers or whatever.
Send us some pictures of that.
We'd love to share it with our social media stuff.
(29:11):
Share the show with a friend.
Tell somebody, hey, I heard they picked a new pope.
This guy talked about patron saints related to bathrooms.
Kind of similar.
Email us privycast at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you.
Episode suggestions, ideas, concerns, feedback.
Yeah, hit us up.
Social media, we're at privycast on all social medias.
Go check us out on YouTube.
We have video podcasts.
If you're listening to this via audio, go check us out on YouTube.
(29:35):
There is a video version.
You can see me in my bathroom.
You can see I'm still working through this toilet paper from our ranked.
My sign.
It's very dusty.
Woof.
Five stars wood poop here again.
It's a great sign.
It ought to be displayed more prominently.
We'll get that right there.
It's kind of hanging out.
But yeah, go check us out.
(29:55):
Watch the video.
As always, we want to thank Kevin and Pottington for the use of their music as the introand outro as well as our transition music.
You can check their music out on the description below.
We'll put the links in there.
This has been another episode of privy.
Thank you again for listening.
Thanks for joining me here in my bathroom.
Keep pooping in the free world, own your stank, smell the popcorn, and now, as always,don't forget to flush.
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