January 13, 2025 • 57 mins
On this episode of the Professional Interns Podcast, Jamie and Noah discuss their 2025 predictions and answer your questions about rude classmates, free watches and broken couches.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Yeah, I don't know.
(00:08):
She was really upset.
Like the bullet only grazed you.
So get over it.
Anyways, let's do this podcast.
Hey guys, welcome back to the professional interns podcast.
It's a comedy advice podcast where two friends venture into the forest and rediscover our
true selves.
Noah, how are you doing?
I'm doing well.
I'm happy you were able to get off your nine to five early.
It's 7 PM and we're starting this podcast.
(00:30):
So yeah, I'm impressed you able to hop on this.
Yeah.
Boss was real cool about this.
I said, Hey, look, I know it's Saturday, predominantly a work day, but I need to need to hop off
before nine.
So real cool about it.
I'm on that nine to nine grind that nine to nine, seven days a week, baby.
(00:51):
So except, you know, take a couple, take a couple hours off on Sunday for the holy day,
but then you're back on the grind.
I'm just glad someone else gets it.
Amen.
Not a lot of people do.
Totally just slam.
I got two into that.
I got two into that.
Amen.
That was the problem.
(01:12):
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we probably should have done this last episode given that our last episode was the
first episode of the new year, but we didn't have that kind of foresight.
It was also the first episode, but we're going to be doing some 2025 predictions.
What?
Before we do that, happy anniversary.
(01:34):
Anniversary?
It is our one week podcast anniversary.
I got you a gift for it.
Did you get me anything?
Yes, I did.
I got you an all inclusive spa trip to the spa in the ground floor of this building.
Wow.
(01:55):
Wow.
I got you this mug with an AI image of my new found man.
Beautiful.
I know that the podcast listeners over on Spotify love a visual bit.
Did you want to kick off the predictions or you want me to kick off the predictions?
Yeah.
So I mean, you can.
Let me just preface it by saying.
(02:16):
Sure.
So when I got, we sat down, wrote out, these are separate.
I haven't heard his, he hasn't heard mine.
We just have like some baseline stuff and 2025 predictions.
What do we think's happening in the new year?
And we're not doing layups.
All right.
No.
None of this.
None of this.
Oh, it's going to be divisive politically.
(02:40):
The team is going to win the Super Bowl.
No, we're doing the real money.
If you could put a parlay on 2025, that's what we're throwing out here.
I got what looks like if we go through all of them, it's about a 12 leg parlay.
So we got a, we got a few of them and I'll tell you right now, if you hit every one of
these, you are a multi billionaire on like a $5 hit.
(03:01):
So should I just fly through them or we want to slow down?
Throw it out.
Throw it out your first one.
First one.
Eye for eye.
Sure.
Sure.
First one.
I think we should call this on her music career a little bit to focus on her relationship
with Travis Kelsey.
Maybe it's an engagement.
Maybe it's a marriage.
She's already done the whole tour thing.
(03:22):
It feels like it's time to slow up, slow up for a little bit as a Swifty.
How do you feel about that?
Yeah, I think, look, I think that would be devastating to white women across America.
It would be devastating to me.
So it also wouldn't surprise me.
I feel like out of all the ones we have, this is the most low stakes.
(03:43):
Yeah, this one's pretty, I got a couple more low stakes ones, but this one's pretty low
stakes.
It feels like, I want to say it's a 50 50 hit.
This is not like, this is not a high, high risk parlay.
This is an odd booster.
You know, for guys who aren't trying to promote gambling, we're two for two on episodes now.
(04:03):
We love to sneak in on gambling reference.
Jamie, what do you got?
Uh, look, I also let off with a softball.
Costco guys visit the White House.
I really do feel like it's a softball, which is insane to say.
Five booms on the Capitol steps.
(04:28):
I really, if you would have said, I don't know, a month ago, I would have been like
hot to a girl visits the visits the White House before Biden's out.
That ain't happening no more.
I really feel like it wasn't that far off.
Now I'm, I mean, I don't even, I feel actually so trashy talking about this, but we think
Hawk to a girl gets incarcerated.
(04:50):
No, no, no, I don't think anything happens.
I think people are going to claim they're going to sewer and then nothing's ever going
to happen.
Has she made another podcast and she was canceled?
I, you know, I don't know.
I don't either.
Listen.
I couldn't say.
I haven't seen those two dudes drinking wine on their couch talking review.
I haven't seen that yet.
(05:11):
So I don't think she has.
Okay.
So my second prediction for 2025 is I just don't think blue sky is going to make it.
I think it's going to crash and burn and go the way of threads personally.
You know, I kinda, I kinda already see this.
I got both.
I'm a, I'm a big diversify, right?
Guy.
I tried, I know you love some diversity.
(05:34):
I, yeah, yeah.
Yup.
I, I grabbed my handles on all the platforms.
You like how I just didn't, didn't acknowledge that didn't play into it at all.
This is there's yes.
And, and there's anyways, uh, uh, I grabbed my handles.
I got a blue sky.
I got a threads.
I got a Twitter.
I'm not calling it X, but I, it's, it's, it's dicey for me.
(06:00):
Cause I was at the dentist yesterday and I pulled out my phone in the waiting room and
I opened Twitter and dude, the amount of shame I felt.
I was like, my phone was close to the chest.
I was like, I don't want you guys to, I'm not, no, I'm on blue sky.
The problem is you don't know what you're going to swipe to.
Could be anything.
You get anything on Twitter, but I feel like, you know, it's a, it's a lower floor, but
(06:24):
it's a higher ceiling versus blue sky.
You know, I'm not gonna, I'm not going to be angry when I'm done using blue sky.
I just might not be fulfilled.
Has your tier 18 football team made it over to blue sky yet?
They have and they are tier four top of the league or second, second in the league right
now.
So good chance of being tier three next season.
(06:46):
Wow.
Wow.
That big, big day for Jamie.
Big day.
Yeah.
Big day for, uh, for Wambles everywhere.
Uh, all right.
Well, I'm going to throw out prediction number three.
I think this is where we're getting into the spice here.
Mr. Beast related death.
Ooh, you, okay.
(07:06):
Are we just leaving it related?
Are we talking one of the gang or are we just talking like a cast?
So somebody on like a contestant, I should say.
Okay.
Contestant dies.
Wow.
I, I, on it.
Not, not crazy.
Okay.
So I'm following up your death, I'm following up with the death of my own.
Diddy ain't making it to trial.
(07:28):
He's dead in jail.
Straight up.
When's trial?
When's trial?
They haven't, I don't think they've put a date on it.
I think they keep pushing it off because I think they just like made it so who they're
suing has to like give their name and stuff.
So I just, I don't think he makes it to trial.
How does he die?
That I just want to, I just want to say he dies.
Falls out of a window.
(07:49):
Could be, could fall out of a window.
Could fall out of a window.
I can't say the word.
We're going to get censored.
No, that's, that's why I'm leaving it open ended.
But I think we can fill in the gap there.
You know, surprisingly, I also have a P Diddy related prediction.
Okay.
I feel like it's a really good one.
(08:10):
Naturally.
You know, P Diddy, it was tough that he was one of your top artists last year, right?
Spotify rap.
Sorry.
No, you're an Apple music guy.
Okay.
That might be worse than the P Diddy comment.
Dude, don't you dare call me an Apple music user.
What?
(08:30):
P Diddy comment.
I'll let that go.
Apple music.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think P Diddy releases another album and he has a release party on kick featuring
Aiden Ross.
Diddy?
Oh yeah.
Do you think Aiden Ross goes for that?
Yeah.
(08:50):
I feel like Aiden Ross.
Okay.
Not that he's a clean streamer by any means, but I feel like he's cleaned up a little bit.
You think he does it Diddy?
I watch him.
Uh, none of the time.
Uh, but I don't like him.
Well, I don't know what platform, what he's on kick still.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like he's a rumble guy.
I wasn't sure.
I've never, I'll be honest.
(09:12):
I don't think I've ever opened kick.
I, I just don't know what's there.
I, I, it's like, yeah.
It's like the Twitch rejects.
So then what's rumble?
The kick rejects.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You get it.
You get it.
So staying in the realm of music, my next thing is I really think people are going, I think
(09:33):
there's going to be a comeback of a iPod slash MP3 player that people carry around.
You know, you know, like the, uh, like the Spotify car thing, although it didn't, although
it failed, I think, I think people are going to make that trendy somehow.
People kind of going back to the nineties.
They're bringing those things back.
I think people are going to start carrying out some sort of device, maybe sold by Spotify.
(09:55):
I don't know, but some sort of device that you carry around alongside your phone for
music.
I don't think people do it alongside.
I think people can do it in place of their phone, like trying to be disconnected.
Okay.
Maybe even like a watch, maybe even like a watch that like can have Bluetooth that can
be your music.
I don't know.
Watch, I think, you know, there's a non-zero chance Apple watch already does this.
(10:20):
I think it becomes more trendy.
I think it becomes like a trendy thing.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Um, yeah, this one, look, not all of mine are winners.
Let's be honest here.
Okay.
Okay.
This one, I feel like it's a little bit of a softball too.
Um, so I'm just gonna throw it out there.
We'll kind of get onto the next one.
(10:42):
Um, February 17th at 10 47 AM, a helicopter accident in heavy fog kills Elon Musk.
Again, it feels a little bit like a softball.
Um, I, I'll follow up your softball with a softball of my own.
(11:03):
Okay.
I think Mario becomes a hate symbol for the alt-right.
Just throw that one up there.
We make Mario and Luigi political.
I think Mario in reply and then following that up, I just feel like I gotta, I'll give
(11:25):
it back to you in just a moment.
I think Mario becomes a symbol of the alt-right somehow.
I don't know.
But I also think Luigi Maggioni, I think he's going to be posted somewhere by an A-list
celebrity.
I got, I got two A-list celebrities that could speak to this and I'll tell you why.
We got Emily Ratajowski.
(11:45):
I don't know how to pronounce her name.
I don't exactly know.
She's dating married to John Krasinski?
No.
No, this is-
I don't know my celebrities too well.
I don't know.
She's like, yeah, I know she's married to like, no, look her up.
You will know who she is the second you see her.
(12:07):
My fault.
My fault, Emily.
I know she might be a listener to the pod.
She's very political.
She also is from New York and I think she might say the terrorist charges are trumped
up.
My other one is Mark Ruffalo, who also very political might also say the same thing.
Terrorist charges are trumped up.
(12:28):
I don't know, but those are just some spitfalls.
I think they're either going to be seen with him or they're going to make a post on Instagram
about him talking about the case.
I think there's an opportunity there for some sort of, you know, there's other A-list celebrities
that could be, but those are my two right now.
Yeah.
All right.
So I'm going to throw out another.
(12:49):
Throw out another that's less of a softball and less about people dying in helicopter
accidents.
Sure.
I'm going to throw out the green M&M hot again.
Look the 2025 it's the year of the comeback.
All right.
The hot green M&M.
Okay.
Green.
(13:09):
And we're starting off early.
I'm saying this might be a Super Bowl ad.
This is like quarter one.
That green M&M, not only are they giving her the legs, but they're giving her the whole
set.
You think they're giving her a rack?
You think they're giving the green M&M a rack?
(13:31):
She's got two more M&Ms in the front.
That's what she's got.
But, but wait, wait, wait.
Actually I'm making this part up on the fly.
Okay.
We're giving the yellow M&M, the like the peanut M&M dude.
Giving him a bulge.
I like the idea.
It's tough for me to follow that one up.
(13:53):
I, okay, I think Sabrina Carpenter spotted at Nobu with Pete Davidson.
Dude, this is, this is a crazy.
This is Sabrina Carpenter, Pete Davidson, Nobu.
Come on.
It could totally happen.
He's newly single.
She's newly single.
Come on.
This isn't crazy because, because the prediction, what's crazy is I was talking to my girlfriend
(14:17):
about these.
I was trying to really chef them up last night.
She throws out the same prediction, not Nobu, not that specific, but she goes Sabrina Carpenter,
Pete Davidson.
Damn.
I was like.
I thought it was an original thought.
I thought it was an original thought.
Yeah.
So you got more?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I do.
I'm going to rapid fire a few of these.
(14:38):
Sure.
Sure.
Some of these aren't that, that big.
Actually, I only got three left.
Okay.
I'll rapid fire my last three in response.
Twitter drops a crypto coin.
That one.
A cryptocurrency on Twitter?
Yeah, 100%.
Some sort of, some sort of finance.
It's not formally a rug pull, but it's like, it's a grift for sure.
(15:01):
Grift.
Okay.
Yep.
Dave Calhoun.
If you know who he is, this is a pretty good guess.
If you don't, he is the former Boeing CEO.
Okay.
Yep.
Yep.
I know him.
I can, I know the face.
Yep.
Found dead.
That's a pretty good one.
I'll follow yours up with my, I think I have like five more, but I'll go through them quick.
(15:33):
We got a low rise jeans make a massive comeback.
Low rise jeans make a massive comeback.
Sites like Tumu and Sheen, they're done.
They're killed.
Either there's some sort of embargo or something.
Is that correlated with them, with the low rise jeans being back?
Our low rise jeans, what kills off?
Maybe, maybe they cannot, they cannot send in a good pair of low rise jeans.
(15:56):
They cannot make them.
I think that, and I think fast fashion are out.
Giselle, Max, Giselle, is that how you pronounce her name?
Giselle Maxwell, dead.
No, no, we wrote this down.
Hold up.
Did we, did we?
Galeen, Galeen Maxwell, dead.
She's dead.
Oh, what's his names?
(16:17):
X.
Harvey Epstein.
Harvey Epstein, you definitely combined Harvey Weinstein and Epstein.
Jeffrey Epstein.
Jeffrey Epstein, his ex.
She's dead.
Kim Kardashian makes a run for some sort of political office.
I think that's almost a layup at this point.
That one actually is pretty good.
I think, I think companies are going to stop talking about AI as it's not making money.
(16:41):
I think they're going to make a move towards augmented reality, similar to the move they
made away from blockchain to AI.
I think there needs to be something else talked about in the boardrooms.
I think there needs to be something else talked about when they go speak in front of all their
investors, all the shareholders.
And I think we go towards augmented reality.
I think that starts to really make a strong comeback.
(17:02):
And I think I'm going to end it here with this small nuclear power plant failure in
the US.
Just a small one.
In the US, it's a small one, though.
It's not a big one, but it definitely makes people a little hesitant about nuclear in
the coming years.
A little nervous, a little nervous.
Here's a parlay that you could sneak in.
Could happen in Pennsylvania, coal and oil country.
(17:26):
Big coal.
Big coal out there.
Could be intentional.
There's also big natural gas out there.
Big unnatural gas.
So if it happened in Pennsylvania, it would kind of, you know, could be a little tight
or Alaska.
Just, you know, spitball in there.
But this is new STD.
(17:46):
New STD just dropped.
What is it?
I don't know.
New STD.
New STD job.
What is it?
I don't know.
Oh, man.
We have some good predictions here.
Some good predictions here.
These are some some pretty good predictions.
(18:08):
I feel like they probably probably, you know, we'd probably go for whatever.
Probably not.
Hopefully none of these are right.
2025.
A boring year.
I hope the low rise jeans make a comeback.
Yeah.
So I hope at least that one's right.
If we have to get one, I'd really like my low rise jeans, my low cut jeans to really,
(18:29):
really.
I want low cut jeans with a tapered leg.
So it's like as little bit of jean you could wear in a pant.
That's what I want.
Oh, actually, I'm going to throw another one in there.
Ooh, American Eagle back.
Aeropostale.
Aeropostale is a wild one.
What about.
(18:49):
I'm being Finch, Fitch, whatever it is.
I feel like Abercrombie and Fitch is kind of in right now.
It's like that the rich man look.
I haven't seen any of them.
I want to see.
But I want to see it with those old shirts that say like American Eagle and has like
the stringy ends.
Yeah, that's exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or like the really ugly hoodies.
Yep.
I. Yep.
Those could could go hard, could go hard.
(19:13):
Dude, all we need is a few listeners.
I'm talking to you guys now.
We just need a few listeners and the American Eagle collab is going to do numbers.
The opportunity for an American Eagle business casual collab with the professional interns.
Huge.
It's a massive.
(19:33):
Numbers never before seen.
This this polo unlogoed.
But there is an opportunity to have your logo on here.
That's all I'm saying.
And what if this suit and tie was instead an oversized hoodie that didn't have the dimensions
of anybody and also had a zipper right down the chest?
But it's like supposed to be a quarter zip, but it goes a little bit too far to be a quarter
(19:55):
zip.
It's like a half zip.
It's like a half zip.
And then people are like, who the fuck wears a half zip?
And then you're like, you know, that's what they sell.
That's what they got.
Yes, leaves like a wizard.
Oh, sleeves are the cut is terrible.
Yeah.
Really boxy around the midsection.
All right.
How about we jump into some questions?
(20:16):
Yeah, I think we're ready to jump into some questions already.
Let's jump into this.
Boys don't approach me.
Does that mean I'm ugly?
I'm a 14 year old girl.
I just started high school and I noticed all my friends get approached by attractive boys.
Me on the other hand, I rarely to never get approached.
I'm happy for my friends, but I wish I was in their position.
(20:37):
When I do get approached, it's by unattractive dudes who are known for being desperate slash
weird.
I also have this crush at school.
We are kind of friends.
I saw him at an event and he didn't even say hi.
We made eye contact a couple of times.
I wanted to say hi, but I was too scared.
I get mixed signals of him finding me attractive, but it's hard to tell.
(20:59):
The whole situation has made me even more insecure.
Am I ugly?
What better place to go for advice about your 14 year old girl self than to the professional
interns podcast?
We appreciate you writing this into professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
Boys are overrated.
They're terrible.
(21:19):
What are you doing?
You shouldn't even be... Why do you care?
It's whatever.
Jamie.
Few ideas here.
Few ideas here.
First off, legally, legal disclaimer, Noah and I are 25 and 30 year old men.
(21:40):
We know nothing about 14 year old women, girls.
I was going to ask why you keep approaching her.
Nope, we're not going to do that.
We're not going to do that one.
Yeah.
Look, I didn't talk to girls when I was 14.
(22:00):
I can tell you about cross map monowarfare two noob tube spots.
I could tell you about that really well.
Could I tell you about a girl in middle or high school?
Barely.
I'll do my best.
Few options here.
I think we all know it's just because this age, you're just nervous to talk to people
(22:26):
of the other gender.
I wasn't afraid to talk to the homies that much when I was 14.
I was a little afraid.
Hear me out.
Be gay.
Make the swap.
Whoa, whoa.
That is a bold statement.
Look, she says it's always these unattractive dudes who are known for being desperate and
(22:50):
weird.
It sounds like you have an in with some of your friends who are attractive.
I don't think they're attractive.
That was your words.
What am I doing?
Be gay?
Is it a choice?
(23:11):
For her, it is now a choice, yes.
It's early enough that it is still a choice.
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
Look, I think it's a really good opportunity for her.
I think boys are overrated.
You're in middle school.
This is just entering high school.
Freshman year, you got nothing going on.
(23:34):
Why not just focus on school?
You got plenty more years.
If you're really concerned about being unattractive, you could always join some sports, get into
some extracurriculars, and you'll probably meet boys on those that maybe make more sense.
Easier to talk to people when you're doing something with them.
(23:54):
Extracurriculars are usually the way.
I think you will find that you end up talking to more people than you think.
If there's boys that are into you, you'll find out pretty quick when you get in those
situations where it's you guys doing things together.
Or just be gay.
Or that was Jamie's recommendation.
You could be gay.
(24:15):
I think we'd knock that one out of the park.
Nobody's ever going to clip any of that and use it against us.
No.
No.
Okay.
I spent a year of my life chasing one girl and I'm feeling so lost.
She's beautiful.
She's flirty.
She's extremely gorgeous, dedicates her life to helping others, and has taught me so much.
(24:38):
We traveled together, danced together, had late night long drunk convos together, even
sang some karaoke together.
I've heard her problems, worries, and stories.
We kissed a few times while drunk.
I constantly thought about her and we used to text and hang out a lot.
(25:01):
But she's older than me by five years and she also sees me as a best friend or little
brother, teases me, and doesn't treat me the best in conflicts.
She's also actively dating.
My emotions have been unhealthy, dependent on her actions for almost a year.
We were planning on going on a huge month long trip together alone, but an argument
(25:26):
about splitting expenses went south.
Now we're not talking and taking space away from each other.
This girl has been my whole life for a while and I'm absolutely crushed.
I don't have any dating experience.
I feel like I'll be alone for a long time and I'm so sad.
Any advice?
(25:46):
Dude, there's a lot here.
I would just like to say if this guy is listening to raise your right hand and slap yourself
across the face, get a grip brother.
Dude, I'm thinking if this girl's beautiful, flirty, gorgeous, and dedicated to helping
others, I might be in love too.
(26:13):
I can't wait for the test.
Please cut that part out.
Cut that, cut that man.
Dude, weighing a drunk kiss or conversation is like weighing me after an all you can eat
buffet.
Dude, straight up it's fake and doesn't count.
What the hell man?
You can't be sitting there.
Way be like, oh, we had a drunk kiss, drunk conversation.
(26:35):
Dude, the type of people I kissed and had drunk conversations with drunk, they never
existed.
They flew out of my brain the second I got sober.
You can't be weighing that.
I think you're putting way too much thought into this girl.
I think you're romanticizing the idea about her.
She's just a normal freaking person, dude.
It's not worth it.
(26:56):
She's five years older than you and calls you her little brother.
That also makes the whole hooking up thing a little weird that you were kissing.
But that's beside the point.
Did she kiss her little brother?
What the hell?
What the hell?
Yeah, no, no, no.
Get out of that.
Get out of that.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, yeah, buddy.
You are down tremendously.
(27:18):
The way this started off, she's beautiful.
She's flirty.
She's extremely generous.
This dude sounds like he's a poet.
He sounds like he's a simp.
If I'm being honest here.
Yeah, like drunk convos.
That's a moment.
You can enjoy those in the moment.
Even if you get a little kiss out of it.
(27:38):
There you go.
You won the moment.
You're about all you get.
That's everything there is there.
I mean, some people accidentally get pregnant and they get a child out of it, but not you,
buddy.
It's not happening.
But in reality, what are you doing?
You're just kind of hanging around waiting for her to change your mind.
(27:59):
She's bad and clear.
Also, she's in a relationship.
Waiting for somebody who's actively in a relationship is crazy.
It says she's actively dating.
Does that mean dating one person?
I think she means actively dating around.
It could mean that.
It could mean that.
I think I was taking this.
Even so.
Look, if she's actively dating, then she's going on dates with other people.
(28:28):
You're already there.
She knows.
I mean, it's obvious to her.
She's got you in the bag and she doesn't want you.
That's it.
It sucks.
It's going to hurt.
Just move on.
I mean, it seems like you might not be able to be friends with her, which is sad, but
that might just be how it is for you.
(28:49):
You might just not be able to be friends with this person if you can't handle that.
Let's not put that on her.
Let's put that on you.
It's you who can't handle that.
Also a little interesting, they said that the fight was because they were arguing about
splitting expenses.
(29:10):
Were you paying for all her stuff?
Splitting expenses on... It shouldn't even be a conversation.
If you're going on a vacation with someone you're not dating, there's not even a conversation.
You're splitting expenses.
Is that not just like, it'd be like Venmo me, Venmo you.
It doesn't feel like... It's only a problem if the precedent was set before that you weren't
(29:31):
splitting it.
I think you might be right.
I think she's been lying some stuff.
I think he's been-
Wow.
Yeah.
No, no.
You got to get out of there.
Buddy, get out of there.
You shouldn't go on a month long vacation with this person, at least right now.
(29:51):
Yeah.
I think we nailed that.
It should be all fixed.
You got the next one?
Yeah, let's do it.
Most likely to stay a virgin forever.
I'm 17 and in high school.
At my school, we like to have an award thing at the end of the year, like most artistic,
best athlete, et cetera.
We didn't get to have one last year, so we had one two weeks ago.
(30:14):
I usually never get nominated for anything, but since it was my birthday, I had to go
on stage as the birthday boy, which was really stressful.
Yesterday, my friend found on our school Facebook group, which I was never invited to, that
they had awards that were mean on the Facebook thing.
I don't know why they're acting like they don't know what Facebook is, but Facebook
(30:37):
thing.
Yep.
And I was voted most likely to stay a virgin forever.
And it really gutted me.
I'm gay and the only experience I have is with a guy I had a crush on forever and he
just used me to have fun, but it didn't go well.
What should I do?
The gay thing threw a wrench in there.
I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to end with I'm gay.
(30:59):
But the fact you are gay means you could probably, if you just leaned into the sexuality thing,
I feel like gay guys move very quick.
If you just don't want to be a virgin, if that's the goal, dude, I don't think it.
I'll be honest.
I think you're going to have the easiest time in the world.
I don't know.
(31:21):
Maybe I'm reading into this wrong, but I feel like I would just lean into letting everyone
know that you're gay.
And I bet the gay guys, you're probably attractive.
The gay guys will probably come out of the woodwork trying to get a little piece of that
ass.
That's what I'm saying.
So I think it really matters if you're out of the closet or not.
Yeah.
Because I imagine you're out of the closet, but maybe you're not for whatever reason.
(31:48):
If you're not, then you just really shouldn't think much about it because these people see
that you have very little action with women and they just don't know you're not playing
that game.
So I wouldn't take that too personally.
But yeah, I knew a gay dude in college.
(32:10):
I know a lot of gay people.
It sounds like you only knew this one gay dude from college.
Like one time I met a gay guy.
This one time.
One gay guy.
And he was all over me.
No.
One of my friends in college, he was gay and I think, I don't know how out he was before
(32:30):
coming to school, but after about a year being in school, he was very, very out.
And so I met him freshman year and then we'd go home for the summer.
We'd come back and we're kind of catching up in the fall of the next year.
We were on a long drive together, him and a few people.
And he talks about like he spent the whole year in Cape Town, not Cape Town, Provincetown,
(32:57):
which is this like town in Cape Cod that's known for like being a gay hotspot.
And he was like, oh, I spent it up there.
And he just kind of rambled off how he went from losing his virginity in the beginning
of the summer to like hooked up with like 10 dudes, like the entire age spectrum.
(33:19):
And he was like, yeah, that's just how it is.
And so I feel like I'd vote you least likely to be a virgin forever since you're gay.
So I have a story for you.
Back in high school, I remember me and a friend of mine, we would always joke that we were
(33:40):
dating.
I don't know.
I was like a sophomore in high school.
We were just like, I don't know, we would like have our arms around each other and just
be like, we're a couple of dudes.
I don't even talk to him anymore.
And sounds like a wimp South.
And a guy in my school actually thought I was gay, like joking with my buddy about it.
(34:01):
And he ended up hitting me up when he goes, dude, you want to hang out sometime?
I was like, yeah, man, like, I don't care.
We can hang out sometime.
He goes, yeah, like I could go down on you.
And I was like, hold up.
I was like, what?
I was like, hold up, hold your horses.
I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, well, aren't you gay?
(34:21):
I was like, no, no, like one, I'm flattered.
I am beyond flattered.
Of course, naturally.
I was like, I'm honored.
I'm honored.
Thank you.
But no, and I had to let him down gently, but I was like, oh, wow.
I was kind of threw me off to be getting that text.
And I was like, you know, I think I was like probably like 15 and not like super sexualized,
(34:43):
just, you know, some freaking young 15 year old.
I was like, what the hell is this?
But flattered, flattered.
Nevertheless, dude, I feel like you'd be a good gay.
I feel like, oh, I feel like you'd be, I don't know.
I don't know the demographic listener we have, but young gays in the comments would know
(35:04):
would be a good guy.
I feel like are we insulting people right now?
We're getting canceled episode two.
No, no.
No, we're fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me know if I'd be a good gay.
All right.
Let's get to the next question.
All right.
(35:25):
Next question.
Amazon accidentally sent me an Apple watch.
I think the subject kind of says it all.
It gives away there.
Kind of, you know, they kind of led with the hook.
Hi, Amazon sent me an Apple watch that I didn't order.
Do I contact them or do I sell it to the pawn shop?
(35:45):
As I said, there was a brand new Apple watch in a package I had delivered.
It's I had delivered.
It sounds like you meant for it to be delivered.
Whatever.
It's a $300 watch.
I wasn't charged for it.
It is clearly a slip up, but what would you do?
I would keep that watch.
100%.
(36:05):
If this was like from like a small mom and pop tech store, I'd give the watch back.
You know, I've worked at some of those kind of establishments.
I've made mistakes and I've been appreciative of when people don't take advantage of me.
It's Amazon.
I think they probably lose $300 on accident and just write it off.
(36:30):
I my I have a slightly different recommendation.
I'm recommending you get that Apple watch.
You rip that sucker open, damage the box, and then send them a picture of it and be
like, man, I got an Apple watch that I didn't expect.
And when they see the damaged box, they're just gonna be like, keep it or donate it and
forget about you entirely.
(36:52):
So that's what I would do.
I would damage the hell out of the box and be like, I'll send it back.
And they're gonna be like, we don't want that.
It'll end up in a return palette to some random YouTuber if they do take it back and they don't
want to ship more stuff to those YouTubers opening those damn return pallets.
Dude, I'm telling you, one day I'm going to be one of those guys.
One day you and me podcast episode 30 to 30.
(37:17):
We're ripping open your turn.
I like the long pause into two because I thought 30 might be an anniversary episode where we're
talking a bit a little bit.
It's way too soon.
30 is way too soon.
Well, 32.
That's gonna buy us some time.
We're ripping open a return palette on this podcast.
(37:38):
Subscribe so you don't miss that.
In the office.
In the office, which we will definitely have by then and will be paid for by our sponsors.
Yeah.
Now are those hard gambling sponsors?
Maybe.
A crypto coin or two?
Maybe.
The year in turn coin.
Oopsie.
(37:59):
Did we do a rug pull?
Oopsie poopsies.
I don't know.
Rug pull.
It wasn't the insiders.
It had to have been sharks.
It was Jamie.
It was Jamie on his other account.
His ties all cashmere.
I don't know if they make silk.
(38:19):
I don't know if they make ties out of silk.
Don't ask me.
Today I just got the polo on.
Does that work from home?
Work from home.
All right.
Yeah.
You can't just put it in the box or just you couldn't even just pretend like you never
got it.
They're not going to find you.
They're not going to reach out to you.
They're not going to charge you for the watch.
You're fine.
Yeah.
All right.
Our next question.
(38:40):
I have asked burgers and sometimes I can't tell if I'm being strange.
Is this a weird Christmas gift to give to somebody?
I told my roommate that I got my older brother a meteorite for Christmas.
He started laughing and said it was really random slash strange to get a meteorite for
someone.
I asked if he thought it was a bad gift and he said no, but he was still laughing.
I thought it was nice.
(39:00):
Is it weird?
I don't think it's weird.
I think it's kind of sick.
I think getting someone a meteorite, the whole goal of holidays, because I think you kind
of get to that age where everything you want, everything you want, you just buy for yourself.
I think this is one of those items you don't know you want, you get and you're like, that's
kind of dope.
Short of it being a massive boulder, which I doubt, it's probably just a little cool
(39:22):
little trinket, goes hard, good conversation piece, put it on the shelf.
I think it's a great gift and I think you give him that meteorite and you should be
proud of such a cool idea.
I think it's great.
You're saying roommates, I'm assuming they're in college, so it's like you don't have a
lot of cash.
Look, a $20 gift card for gas or for Starbucks, it's nice, but a meteorite, you could give
(39:52):
him $1,000.
He was never buying the meteorite.
Maybe he's a big meteorite guy.
Also, what if they found the meteorite?
They just found this in the yard, they're like, Tim's going to love this.
They found a massive hole in their backyard about the size of a small swimming pool with
a tiny rock in the middle.
(40:15):
Dude burnt his hands grabbing this meteorite for his brother.
Dude has no hands anymore, but he got himself a meteorite.
Huge hole in the backyard though, got to fill that up.
That's a great gift.
It's weird, your roommates write that it's weird and random, but it's a great gift.
I wonder if the brother's into rocks or something.
(40:39):
Maybe there was more thought that went into it, but if there wasn't, still a dope gift.
Yeah.
You used to have a little, I don't think it was a meteorite, it was a shiny rock in your
desk.
Got one right here.
I got two of them, my fiance is very into astrology and crystals.
She put crystals all over my office against my recommendation.
(41:03):
Dude, we've spent a lot of time discussing how to decorate this house.
I think I've lost every fight I've tried to start.
I'm like, oh, I'd really like this in the living room.
She's like, we're putting a wood table.
I'm like, okay.
I'd really like this type of rug, I want one with moths.
(41:23):
We got one with moths.
I have not won any of those fights, but in my office, actually, you know what?
I lost this fight too.
In my office, I was like, nothing goes in my office.
I got two crystals over here.
I got a couple of her little knickknacks on a shelf over there.
I win in other places, but decorating the house is not that place.
(41:47):
You want the LED beer girl sign hanging up in the background.
I got a big Budweiser sign out in the car and she's like, that ain't entering this
house.
That ain't going next to my crystal show on the wall, next to my pentagram that I have
hung up.
We have sticks.
I'm like, okay, honey.
(42:07):
What's under the carpet?
It's just the little pentagram.
It is a carved pentagram into our laminate wood floors.
That's what it is.
Oh man, this one's a read.
Stupid, but I have a problem with the seagull at work.
I'm a line cook and I go smoke by the dumpster a few times a day.
(42:30):
We get seagulls in our parking lot.
It's a well-known restaurant.
It's busy and tourists are sloppy with their fries.
I also suspect the tourists are feeding the seagulls because it was cute, even though
it is so against the rules.
Regardless, the gulls do not fear man or God.
They are used to people.
(42:52):
A few weeks back, one of the gulls swooped down and took the cig out of my mouth.
I thought it was because he thought it was a friend try.
I giggled and went on about my day.
However, it's happened a few times since.
I know it's the same guy because he has a big dark spot on his chest.
I call him pestilence.
I'm concerned he is now addicted to nicotine.
(43:13):
He's by the dumpster on every one of my work breaks every single day.
This is obviously not good for him.
And I'm getting mad about him bumming off me because smoking is expensive.
Do I try and quit smoking?
I'll make noise and try to appear large to scare him off, but pestilence is hip to my
tricks.
(43:34):
We have cut down on tourists feeding the gulls.
What do I do?
Are there sonar weapons such as dog whistle type things that I can deploy to fight the
gulls?
I feel like there's at least one question in the episode we get that's like the best
(43:55):
question I've ever heard.
This is it.
I know this is episode two.
This is a question of the year candidate.
Noah and I both live on the East Coast, so I think we both can kind of agree with seagulls.
Do not fear man.
I think they might be God.
They don't fear anything.
(44:18):
And so I'm so unsurprised that they swooped down and took a cigarette.
And I'm even less surprised that this is now a thing.
I mean, it's burning a hole in the seagull.
Dude, I you don't know how many times I've gone to the beach and I've seen a little kid
crying because a seagull freaking, you know, throat goaded their whole hot dog in one bite.
(44:43):
Like we're not we're not talking about it chewing.
It just tilted its head back and took that thing.
And man, I get it.
I'm surprised it does it to a cigarette.
But am I really?
It's yeah, this is this is seagull nature.
This is I think it's in their blood.
I really do. But I like this guy trying to say it's not good for the seagull.
(45:07):
But he is like trying to make the health thing.
Yeah, it's not good for the seagull.
Yeah, it's not good for you either.
You're still out there ripping them.
It's not good for the seagull.
But do we do you know any of sonar weapons that we could use against it to maybe blow
it up about a million miles away?
You know, a heat gun that could take that thing out of the sky like, OK, yeah, I need
(45:28):
a grenade launcher so I can hit a seagull.
Yeah, like he's like the cigarettes must be bad.
But what about sonar weapons?
What about what if we broke the Geneva Convention on the seagull?
Yeah. What if did I?
I used to work at a restaurant that was like right on the water.
And it was like outrageous.
(45:51):
And the seagulls like were a cult.
They were weird men like they would they would come after you.
I was like like bringing food to a table once that was sitting outside and the seagull like
snoops like dove in and took the coleslaw off my like like shoulder thing.
It was the whole.
Laws.
(46:11):
We look at the small the small out of everything.
It was so honestly, the table must have been happy that they didn't get the slaw.
Nobody ever eats the slaw.
I know.
Oh, I mean, like I brought the food to the table and they're like, oh, there's no slaw.
I'm like, yeah, give me a second.
I'll bring that right back.
(46:31):
I thought they wouldn't.
I was just like, they're not going to ask for this law, but they asked for the slaw.
Wow.
Yeah.
But the point of that being the seagulls were really weird and it was kind of like a movie
the whole summer.
And that kind of like the birds.
Alfred Hitchcock, I think the birds.
No, no, no.
OK.
(46:52):
OK.
Continue your story.
Long story short, long story short, the seagulls committed a mutiny against one of the other
seagulls right around the end of the summer.
And he was just dead wash up on the shore and the seats were right there.
So we were like, someone's got to get rid of this dead seagull.
Unfortunately, they didn't choose me.
(47:13):
I was like 15 at the time and I was so the guy they should have chose.
But unsurprising to anybody who works in a restaurant, they chose the busboy who did
it with no problems.
Didn't even flinch.
So what would you recommend for this guy and his fight against pestilence over here?
(47:34):
Talk to the busboy.
I think he talked to the busboy.
They are a different breed.
They don't have a sonar weapon, but they probably have like a slingshot with like a Roman candle
or something.
They can take it out.
I would.
I ditch the cigarettes personally, you know, maybe for your own health reason.
(47:56):
But you know what the ladies love?
The ladies love a man who hits a zinni, who hits an old, you know, who hits who hits a
little buzz bag, little upper decky, little Zimbabwe, little little Zinnifer, Aniston,
if you may.
Come on, you gotta you gotta just switch to the zinns.
Really?
It's better for your health.
And people love a guy who just, you know, you break out the zinni and tap the top of
(48:21):
the top, tap the top of the container as if it's dip.
It ain't.
But you gotta switch over to zinns, man.
It's just it's probably better for you.
Probably.
I don't know.
People I feel like there's always this I want to believe it's better.
And I think most people want to believe it's better because what could be worse than cigarettes?
But I feel like you know what happens every time some sort of new thing comes out?
(48:44):
Everyone's like, oh, it's the better way.
And then it's like, oh crap.
You mean everyone's got popcorn lung from hitting the old hit in the old jewel.
Yeah.
In the old jewel.
These people are dropping dead out there like, oh, but I'd like to think zinns might be a
step up.
Who knows?
Yeah, I do like the aspect of getting him hooked.
(49:05):
Or what if you just dial up?
You want to get the seagull hooked?
You're trying to get the seagull to pop a zinny?
I think you're saying give the seagull a zin.
No, no.
That's so much funnier.
Give the seagull zin.
That zigull's freaking beat can't pocket a zin.
(49:27):
I mean, I feel like old pestilence, whatever his name is, could figure out a way.
What if you just buy some cigs for him?
Give the seagull a black and mild.
What the fuck?
Give him a menthol.
Give him a menthol.
That seagull will never smoke again.
(49:48):
He comes back, his wife's disappointed in him.
He comes home smelling like menthol.
This family kicks him out of the nest because he starts stinking.
Oh my God.
So long story short, use zin's optional, share it with the bird.
(50:10):
All right, so we got time for one more.
Let's see.
Should I ask my friend to buy me a new couch after breaking it due to her weight?
Okay, this is going to be a tough one.
My friend came into town to visit for a few days.
She slept on the couch during the duration of her time here.
(50:31):
When she left, I noticed that my couch was sunken in, but went to kind of readjust the
cushions and realized she actually broke the entire board and the fabric even tore where
the wooden piece collapsed.
I texted her and let her know that she broke it and even sent pictures and her response
was she's sad.
I feel bad because I know it wasn't intentional.
(50:53):
However, I paid $1,500 for that couch and I can't just afford to fork out money for
a new one.
Do I ask her to buy me a new couch?
How should I go about this?
Dude, you can't ask your friend to buy you a new couch.
I'll be honest.
It sounds like you bought a lousy couch to start with.
(51:13):
I've been around some big boys sitting on some couches, never seen them break.
You probably bought a bad couch.
I would honestly go down to your local Lowe's, pop over to the wood section, buy yourself
a little two by four.
You could go find one of them little Lowe's people walking around their shirts, ask them
to cut the two by four to the size of the couch.
Freaking nail that sucker back underneath.
(51:35):
Pretend like nothing happened.
Don't make your friend uncomfortable.
I guess it would depend on how close you are to your friend.
If you're really not close at all, you could harass her to pay for it, but I think that's
just going to ruin the relationship.
I would just buy the two by four and fix it yourself.
You know what?
It's not the end of the world.
(51:55):
I feel like I'm very adverse to making people feel uncomfortable.
I wouldn't even have sent you the pictures.
I would have pretended like it never happened.
Did it myself and just moved on.
Right?
Like, yeah, we're in too deep.
That's what you should have done.
Right?
Yeah.
And it's not like, oh, your friend, like hooked up on your couch and that's why it's broken.
Yeah.
Like your friend just slept on the couch you told them to sleep on and it broke.
(52:20):
That's not their fault.
They use the couch for what it's made for.
Yeah.
Like, happy couch.
This was definitely not worth $1,500.
If anything, if this is a recent buy, you should go back to the furniture company and
tell them, hey, my freaking couch broke.
And then maybe they would even replace it.
It just doesn't feel like something you put on the friend.
Yeah.
And it's like, I don't know how much their friend weighs.
(52:40):
I think they said it in the original post, but I don't see it here.
Look, I don't like, let's say it was like your friend weighed 600 pounds, which would
be crazy, but like, let's say your friend weighed 600 pounds.
That's like three just big dudes sitting on it.
Like that's not a not normal amount of weight to go on a couch.
(53:05):
And your friend definitely doesn't weigh 600.
So it's like, you bought a bad couch, dude.
That's on you.
And they're just laying on it.
Once again, like we said, it's not like they were hooking up on the couch, jumping around.
Like they were laying on a couch, which is what the couch is made to do.
You can't, you do not even, if I was ever in the situation, you don't even tell the
(53:25):
friend it happened.
You move on, you fix it yourself, and maybe you bitch out to the company.
If anything, you write a bad review.
I bet the owner of that furniture store replies to your review and says, Hey, let me help
you out there.
And then they send you a little $500 gift card and you move on and you just, just fix
it yourself.
It doesn't feel like something you put on the friend.
(53:46):
Doesn't feel like something I would even tell the friend happened.
She probably knew it happened.
You don't think that couch felt a little different from night one to night two.
I think you just, uh, I mean, I think you bite it.
I think you bite it.
If we're being honest, like it's not like they went to sleep and then woke up.
The couch is broken.
Like they got into bed and it, it probably immediately dropped.
(54:07):
Right.
That's the, I would assume.
I mean, if that couch broke in the middle of the night, awful couch, it's already a
pretty bad couch, but yeah.
How much does a couch cost?
I've never bought.
I bought, I bought cheap couches for my living room and it was like, I want to say about
$1,400 for a love seat and a couch.
(54:29):
This one sounds like they spent 1500 on just the couch.
Don't get me wrong.
My couch is terrible, but it's my first house.
I wasn't going to invest in a good couch, but like, if you wanted a really good couch,
it's probably like three K.
All right.
But 1500 is like, uh, that's a fair priced couch.
It definitely isn't like bottom of the bucket.
Like I got out there, some frat boy couches, but yeah, you know, it's a, it's a normal
(54:51):
couch.
Well, uh, I guess if I ever move out of the office, maybe I'll, I'll look into some couches,
but I guess I have to spend a little more.
Let us know what brands you got so I can avoid that.
Yeah.
We let us know the brand, the store, the model number and we'll, we'll post it in the description
of this video so you guys, cause this was definitely a write in to, uh, professional interns podcast
(55:17):
at gmail.com.
Is that our last question today?
Jamie, thank you.
I think unfortunately it has to be, uh, I think we're, I think we're done out of questions.
We have a bonus question, but it sucks.
So we're going to skip that.
Uh, yeah, we, I, I throw extras on our sheet just in case.
(55:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We covered the, we covered the good ones.
If you have a good one that you want to write into, please write into us.
We, uh, the, the, the, the Reddit's running out of them.
Yeah.
I mean, our E, our Gmail is running low on dry dry Gmail be Noah.
It would be professional interns podcast at gmail.com.
(56:00):
Did you say professional interns podcast at gmail.com?
I did say professional interns podcast at gmail.com.
And then, you know, we have other places you can reach out to us.
We have, we have the blue sky.
We have the X, we have the Instagram, we have the Twitter.
Yeah.
Uh, we got socials.
There's links to it.
(56:21):
Uh, you know, go check them out.
Say what's up.
I think that's that.
I think that's all we got.
Right.
Anything you want to plug in any big projects for you besides this?
Uh, well, of course you can go check me out personally at big blue boat gaming on YouTube
and then Noah underscore Corona underscore on all other socials.
Jamie.
(56:42):
Uh, yeah, you can check me out on YouTube.
Probably you already subscribed.
Now, uh, youtube.com, social Jamie Regan, and I should have, uh, I think I'll have a
video going up right around when this goes live.
Maybe awesome should be in a, in a few weeks.
So excited for that.
Dude, I got to stop punching this freaking mic.
(57:05):
I got to stop punching the mic.
All right, fellas.
Thanks so much for listening and we'll catch you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
Yeah, I don't know.
(00:08):
She was really upset.
Like the bullet only grazed you.
So get over it.
Anyways, let's do this podcast.
Hey guys, welcome back to the professional interns podcast.
It's a comedy advice podcast where two friends venture into the forest and rediscover our
true selves.
Noah, how are you doing?
I'm doing well.
I'm happy you were able to get off your nine to five early.
It's 7 PM and we're starting this podcast.
(00:30):
So yeah, I'm impressed you able to hop on this.
Yeah.
Boss was real cool about this.
I said, Hey, look, I know it's Saturday, predominantly a work day, but I need to need to hop off
before nine.
So real cool about it.
I'm on that nine to nine grind that nine to nine, seven days a week, baby.
(00:51):
So except, you know, take a couple, take a couple hours off on Sunday for the holy day,
but then you're back on the grind.
I'm just glad someone else gets it.
Amen.
Not a lot of people do.
Totally just slam.
I got two into that.
I got two into that.
Amen.
That was the problem.
(01:12):
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we probably should have done this last episode given that our last episode was the
first episode of the new year, but we didn't have that kind of foresight.
It was also the first episode, but we're going to be doing some 2025 predictions.
What?
Before we do that, happy anniversary.
(01:34):
Anniversary?
It is our one week podcast anniversary.
I got you a gift for it.
Did you get me anything?
Yes, I did.
I got you an all inclusive spa trip to the spa in the ground floor of this building.
Wow.
(01:55):
Wow.
I got you this mug with an AI image of my new found man.
Beautiful.
I know that the podcast listeners over on Spotify love a visual bit.
Did you want to kick off the predictions or you want me to kick off the predictions?
Yeah.
So I mean, you can.
Let me just preface it by saying.
(02:16):
Sure.
So when I got, we sat down, wrote out, these are separate.
I haven't heard his, he hasn't heard mine.
We just have like some baseline stuff and 2025 predictions.
What do we think's happening in the new year?
And we're not doing layups.
All right.
No.
None of this.
None of this.
Oh, it's going to be divisive politically.
(02:40):
The team is going to win the Super Bowl.
No, we're doing the real money.
If you could put a parlay on 2025, that's what we're throwing out here.
I got what looks like if we go through all of them, it's about a 12 leg parlay.
So we got a, we got a few of them and I'll tell you right now, if you hit every one of
these, you are a multi billionaire on like a $5 hit.
(03:01):
So should I just fly through them or we want to slow down?
Throw it out.
Throw it out your first one.
First one.
Eye for eye.
Sure.
Sure.
First one.
I think we should call this on her music career a little bit to focus on her relationship
with Travis Kelsey.
Maybe it's an engagement.
Maybe it's a marriage.
She's already done the whole tour thing.
(03:22):
It feels like it's time to slow up, slow up for a little bit as a Swifty.
How do you feel about that?
Yeah, I think, look, I think that would be devastating to white women across America.
It would be devastating to me.
So it also wouldn't surprise me.
I feel like out of all the ones we have, this is the most low stakes.
(03:43):
Yeah, this one's pretty, I got a couple more low stakes ones, but this one's pretty low
stakes.
It feels like, I want to say it's a 50 50 hit.
This is not like, this is not a high, high risk parlay.
This is an odd booster.
You know, for guys who aren't trying to promote gambling, we're two for two on episodes now.
(04:03):
We love to sneak in on gambling reference.
Jamie, what do you got?
Uh, look, I also let off with a softball.
Costco guys visit the White House.
I really do feel like it's a softball, which is insane to say.
Five booms on the Capitol steps.
(04:28):
I really, if you would have said, I don't know, a month ago, I would have been like
hot to a girl visits the visits the White House before Biden's out.
That ain't happening no more.
I really feel like it wasn't that far off.
Now I'm, I mean, I don't even, I feel actually so trashy talking about this, but we think
Hawk to a girl gets incarcerated.
(04:50):
No, no, no, I don't think anything happens.
I think people are going to claim they're going to sewer and then nothing's ever going
to happen.
Has she made another podcast and she was canceled?
I, you know, I don't know.
I don't either.
Listen.
I couldn't say.
I haven't seen those two dudes drinking wine on their couch talking review.
I haven't seen that yet.
(05:11):
So I don't think she has.
Okay.
So my second prediction for 2025 is I just don't think blue sky is going to make it.
I think it's going to crash and burn and go the way of threads personally.
You know, I kinda, I kinda already see this.
I got both.
I'm a, I'm a big diversify, right?
Guy.
I tried, I know you love some diversity.
(05:34):
I, yeah, yeah.
Yup.
I, I grabbed my handles on all the platforms.
You like how I just didn't, didn't acknowledge that didn't play into it at all.
This is there's yes.
And, and there's anyways, uh, uh, I grabbed my handles.
I got a blue sky.
I got a threads.
I got a Twitter.
I'm not calling it X, but I, it's, it's, it's dicey for me.
(06:00):
Cause I was at the dentist yesterday and I pulled out my phone in the waiting room and
I opened Twitter and dude, the amount of shame I felt.
I was like, my phone was close to the chest.
I was like, I don't want you guys to, I'm not, no, I'm on blue sky.
The problem is you don't know what you're going to swipe to.
Could be anything.
You get anything on Twitter, but I feel like, you know, it's a, it's a lower floor, but
(06:24):
it's a higher ceiling versus blue sky.
You know, I'm not gonna, I'm not going to be angry when I'm done using blue sky.
I just might not be fulfilled.
Has your tier 18 football team made it over to blue sky yet?
They have and they are tier four top of the league or second, second in the league right
now.
So good chance of being tier three next season.
(06:46):
Wow.
Wow.
That big, big day for Jamie.
Big day.
Yeah.
Big day for, uh, for Wambles everywhere.
Uh, all right.
Well, I'm going to throw out prediction number three.
I think this is where we're getting into the spice here.
Mr. Beast related death.
Ooh, you, okay.
(07:06):
Are we just leaving it related?
Are we talking one of the gang or are we just talking like a cast?
So somebody on like a contestant, I should say.
Okay.
Contestant dies.
Wow.
I, I, on it.
Not, not crazy.
Okay.
So I'm following up your death, I'm following up with the death of my own.
Diddy ain't making it to trial.
(07:28):
He's dead in jail.
Straight up.
When's trial?
When's trial?
They haven't, I don't think they've put a date on it.
I think they keep pushing it off because I think they just like made it so who they're
suing has to like give their name and stuff.
So I just, I don't think he makes it to trial.
How does he die?
That I just want to, I just want to say he dies.
Falls out of a window.
(07:49):
Could be, could fall out of a window.
Could fall out of a window.
I can't say the word.
We're going to get censored.
No, that's, that's why I'm leaving it open ended.
But I think we can fill in the gap there.
You know, surprisingly, I also have a P Diddy related prediction.
Okay.
I feel like it's a really good one.
(08:10):
Naturally.
You know, P Diddy, it was tough that he was one of your top artists last year, right?
Spotify rap.
Sorry.
No, you're an Apple music guy.
Okay.
That might be worse than the P Diddy comment.
Dude, don't you dare call me an Apple music user.
What?
(08:30):
P Diddy comment.
I'll let that go.
Apple music.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I think P Diddy releases another album and he has a release party on kick featuring
Aiden Ross.
Diddy?
Oh yeah.
Do you think Aiden Ross goes for that?
Yeah.
(08:50):
I feel like Aiden Ross.
Okay.
Not that he's a clean streamer by any means, but I feel like he's cleaned up a little bit.
You think he does it Diddy?
I watch him.
Uh, none of the time.
Uh, but I don't like him.
Well, I don't know what platform, what he's on kick still.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like he's a rumble guy.
I wasn't sure.
I've never, I'll be honest.
(09:12):
I don't think I've ever opened kick.
I, I just don't know what's there.
I, I, it's like, yeah.
It's like the Twitch rejects.
So then what's rumble?
The kick rejects.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You get it.
You get it.
So staying in the realm of music, my next thing is I really think people are going, I think
(09:33):
there's going to be a comeback of a iPod slash MP3 player that people carry around.
You know, you know, like the, uh, like the Spotify car thing, although it didn't, although
it failed, I think, I think people are going to make that trendy somehow.
People kind of going back to the nineties.
They're bringing those things back.
I think people are going to start carrying out some sort of device, maybe sold by Spotify.
(09:55):
I don't know, but some sort of device that you carry around alongside your phone for
music.
I don't think people do it alongside.
I think people can do it in place of their phone, like trying to be disconnected.
Okay.
Maybe even like a watch, maybe even like a watch that like can have Bluetooth that can
be your music.
I don't know.
Watch, I think, you know, there's a non-zero chance Apple watch already does this.
(10:20):
I think it becomes more trendy.
I think it becomes like a trendy thing.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Um, yeah, this one, look, not all of mine are winners.
Let's be honest here.
Okay.
Okay.
This one, I feel like it's a little bit of a softball too.
Um, so I'm just gonna throw it out there.
We'll kind of get onto the next one.
(10:42):
Um, February 17th at 10 47 AM, a helicopter accident in heavy fog kills Elon Musk.
Again, it feels a little bit like a softball.
Um, I, I'll follow up your softball with a softball of my own.
(11:03):
Okay.
I think Mario becomes a hate symbol for the alt-right.
Just throw that one up there.
We make Mario and Luigi political.
I think Mario in reply and then following that up, I just feel like I gotta, I'll give
(11:25):
it back to you in just a moment.
I think Mario becomes a symbol of the alt-right somehow.
I don't know.
But I also think Luigi Maggioni, I think he's going to be posted somewhere by an A-list
celebrity.
I got, I got two A-list celebrities that could speak to this and I'll tell you why.
We got Emily Ratajowski.
(11:45):
I don't know how to pronounce her name.
I don't exactly know.
She's dating married to John Krasinski?
No.
No, this is-
I don't know my celebrities too well.
I don't know.
She's like, yeah, I know she's married to like, no, look her up.
You will know who she is the second you see her.
(12:07):
My fault.
My fault, Emily.
I know she might be a listener to the pod.
She's very political.
She also is from New York and I think she might say the terrorist charges are trumped
up.
My other one is Mark Ruffalo, who also very political might also say the same thing.
Terrorist charges are trumped up.
(12:28):
I don't know, but those are just some spitfalls.
I think they're either going to be seen with him or they're going to make a post on Instagram
about him talking about the case.
I think there's an opportunity there for some sort of, you know, there's other A-list celebrities
that could be, but those are my two right now.
Yeah.
All right.
So I'm going to throw out another.
(12:49):
Throw out another that's less of a softball and less about people dying in helicopter
accidents.
Sure.
I'm going to throw out the green M&M hot again.
Look the 2025 it's the year of the comeback.
All right.
The hot green M&M.
Okay.
Green.
(13:09):
And we're starting off early.
I'm saying this might be a Super Bowl ad.
This is like quarter one.
That green M&M, not only are they giving her the legs, but they're giving her the whole
set.
You think they're giving her a rack?
You think they're giving the green M&M a rack?
(13:31):
She's got two more M&Ms in the front.
That's what she's got.
But, but wait, wait, wait.
Actually I'm making this part up on the fly.
Okay.
We're giving the yellow M&M, the like the peanut M&M dude.
Giving him a bulge.
I like the idea.
It's tough for me to follow that one up.
(13:53):
I, okay, I think Sabrina Carpenter spotted at Nobu with Pete Davidson.
Dude, this is, this is a crazy.
This is Sabrina Carpenter, Pete Davidson, Nobu.
Come on.
It could totally happen.
He's newly single.
She's newly single.
Come on.
This isn't crazy because, because the prediction, what's crazy is I was talking to my girlfriend
(14:17):
about these.
I was trying to really chef them up last night.
She throws out the same prediction, not Nobu, not that specific, but she goes Sabrina Carpenter,
Pete Davidson.
Damn.
I was like.
I thought it was an original thought.
I thought it was an original thought.
Yeah.
So you got more?
Yeah, yeah, I do.
I do.
I'm going to rapid fire a few of these.
(14:38):
Sure.
Sure.
Some of these aren't that, that big.
Actually, I only got three left.
Okay.
I'll rapid fire my last three in response.
Twitter drops a crypto coin.
That one.
A cryptocurrency on Twitter?
Yeah, 100%.
Some sort of, some sort of finance.
It's not formally a rug pull, but it's like, it's a grift for sure.
(15:01):
Grift.
Okay.
Yep.
Dave Calhoun.
If you know who he is, this is a pretty good guess.
If you don't, he is the former Boeing CEO.
Okay.
Yep.
Yep.
I know him.
I can, I know the face.
Yep.
Found dead.
That's a pretty good one.
I'll follow yours up with my, I think I have like five more, but I'll go through them quick.
(15:33):
We got a low rise jeans make a massive comeback.
Low rise jeans make a massive comeback.
Sites like Tumu and Sheen, they're done.
They're killed.
Either there's some sort of embargo or something.
Is that correlated with them, with the low rise jeans being back?
Our low rise jeans, what kills off?
Maybe, maybe they cannot, they cannot send in a good pair of low rise jeans.
(15:56):
They cannot make them.
I think that, and I think fast fashion are out.
Giselle, Max, Giselle, is that how you pronounce her name?
Giselle Maxwell, dead.
No, no, we wrote this down.
Hold up.
Did we, did we?
Galeen, Galeen Maxwell, dead.
She's dead.
Oh, what's his names?
(16:17):
X.
Harvey Epstein.
Harvey Epstein, you definitely combined Harvey Weinstein and Epstein.
Jeffrey Epstein.
Jeffrey Epstein, his ex.
She's dead.
Kim Kardashian makes a run for some sort of political office.
I think that's almost a layup at this point.
That one actually is pretty good.
I think, I think companies are going to stop talking about AI as it's not making money.
(16:41):
I think they're going to make a move towards augmented reality, similar to the move they
made away from blockchain to AI.
I think there needs to be something else talked about in the boardrooms.
I think there needs to be something else talked about when they go speak in front of all their
investors, all the shareholders.
And I think we go towards augmented reality.
I think that starts to really make a strong comeback.
(17:02):
And I think I'm going to end it here with this small nuclear power plant failure in
the US.
Just a small one.
In the US, it's a small one, though.
It's not a big one, but it definitely makes people a little hesitant about nuclear in
the coming years.
A little nervous, a little nervous.
Here's a parlay that you could sneak in.
Could happen in Pennsylvania, coal and oil country.
(17:26):
Big coal.
Big coal out there.
Could be intentional.
There's also big natural gas out there.
Big unnatural gas.
So if it happened in Pennsylvania, it would kind of, you know, could be a little tight
or Alaska.
Just, you know, spitball in there.
But this is new STD.
(17:46):
New STD just dropped.
What is it?
I don't know.
New STD.
New STD job.
What is it?
I don't know.
Oh, man.
We have some good predictions here.
Some good predictions here.
These are some some pretty good predictions.
(18:08):
I feel like they probably probably, you know, we'd probably go for whatever.
Probably not.
Hopefully none of these are right.
2025.
A boring year.
I hope the low rise jeans make a comeback.
Yeah.
So I hope at least that one's right.
If we have to get one, I'd really like my low rise jeans, my low cut jeans to really,
(18:29):
really.
I want low cut jeans with a tapered leg.
So it's like as little bit of jean you could wear in a pant.
That's what I want.
Oh, actually, I'm going to throw another one in there.
Ooh, American Eagle back.
Aeropostale.
Aeropostale is a wild one.
What about.
(18:49):
I'm being Finch, Fitch, whatever it is.
I feel like Abercrombie and Fitch is kind of in right now.
It's like that the rich man look.
I haven't seen any of them.
I want to see.
But I want to see it with those old shirts that say like American Eagle and has like
the stringy ends.
Yeah, that's exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or like the really ugly hoodies.
Yep.
I. Yep.
Those could could go hard, could go hard.
(19:13):
Dude, all we need is a few listeners.
I'm talking to you guys now.
We just need a few listeners and the American Eagle collab is going to do numbers.
The opportunity for an American Eagle business casual collab with the professional interns.
Huge.
It's a massive.
(19:33):
Numbers never before seen.
This this polo unlogoed.
But there is an opportunity to have your logo on here.
That's all I'm saying.
And what if this suit and tie was instead an oversized hoodie that didn't have the dimensions
of anybody and also had a zipper right down the chest?
But it's like supposed to be a quarter zip, but it goes a little bit too far to be a quarter
(19:55):
zip.
It's like a half zip.
It's like a half zip.
And then people are like, who the fuck wears a half zip?
And then you're like, you know, that's what they sell.
That's what they got.
Yes, leaves like a wizard.
Oh, sleeves are the cut is terrible.
Yeah.
Really boxy around the midsection.
All right.
How about we jump into some questions?
(20:16):
Yeah, I think we're ready to jump into some questions already.
Let's jump into this.
Boys don't approach me.
Does that mean I'm ugly?
I'm a 14 year old girl.
I just started high school and I noticed all my friends get approached by attractive boys.
Me on the other hand, I rarely to never get approached.
I'm happy for my friends, but I wish I was in their position.
(20:37):
When I do get approached, it's by unattractive dudes who are known for being desperate slash
weird.
I also have this crush at school.
We are kind of friends.
I saw him at an event and he didn't even say hi.
We made eye contact a couple of times.
I wanted to say hi, but I was too scared.
I get mixed signals of him finding me attractive, but it's hard to tell.
(20:59):
The whole situation has made me even more insecure.
Am I ugly?
What better place to go for advice about your 14 year old girl self than to the professional
interns podcast?
We appreciate you writing this into professionalinternspodcast.gmail.com.
Boys are overrated.
They're terrible.
(21:19):
What are you doing?
You shouldn't even be... Why do you care?
It's whatever.
Jamie.
Few ideas here.
Few ideas here.
First off, legally, legal disclaimer, Noah and I are 25 and 30 year old men.
(21:40):
We know nothing about 14 year old women, girls.
I was going to ask why you keep approaching her.
Nope, we're not going to do that.
We're not going to do that one.
Yeah.
Look, I didn't talk to girls when I was 14.
(22:00):
I can tell you about cross map monowarfare two noob tube spots.
I could tell you about that really well.
Could I tell you about a girl in middle or high school?
Barely.
I'll do my best.
Few options here.
I think we all know it's just because this age, you're just nervous to talk to people
(22:26):
of the other gender.
I wasn't afraid to talk to the homies that much when I was 14.
I was a little afraid.
Hear me out.
Be gay.
Make the swap.
Whoa, whoa.
That is a bold statement.
Look, she says it's always these unattractive dudes who are known for being desperate and
(22:50):
weird.
It sounds like you have an in with some of your friends who are attractive.
I don't think they're attractive.
That was your words.
What am I doing?
Be gay?
Is it a choice?
(23:11):
For her, it is now a choice, yes.
It's early enough that it is still a choice.
What are we doing?
What are we doing?
Look, I think it's a really good opportunity for her.
I think boys are overrated.
You're in middle school.
This is just entering high school.
Freshman year, you got nothing going on.
(23:34):
Why not just focus on school?
You got plenty more years.
If you're really concerned about being unattractive, you could always join some sports, get into
some extracurriculars, and you'll probably meet boys on those that maybe make more sense.
Easier to talk to people when you're doing something with them.
(23:54):
Extracurriculars are usually the way.
I think you will find that you end up talking to more people than you think.
If there's boys that are into you, you'll find out pretty quick when you get in those
situations where it's you guys doing things together.
Or just be gay.
Or that was Jamie's recommendation.
You could be gay.
(24:15):
I think we'd knock that one out of the park.
Nobody's ever going to clip any of that and use it against us.
No.
No.
Okay.
I spent a year of my life chasing one girl and I'm feeling so lost.
She's beautiful.
She's flirty.
She's extremely gorgeous, dedicates her life to helping others, and has taught me so much.
(24:38):
We traveled together, danced together, had late night long drunk convos together, even
sang some karaoke together.
I've heard her problems, worries, and stories.
We kissed a few times while drunk.
I constantly thought about her and we used to text and hang out a lot.
(25:01):
But she's older than me by five years and she also sees me as a best friend or little
brother, teases me, and doesn't treat me the best in conflicts.
She's also actively dating.
My emotions have been unhealthy, dependent on her actions for almost a year.
We were planning on going on a huge month long trip together alone, but an argument
(25:26):
about splitting expenses went south.
Now we're not talking and taking space away from each other.
This girl has been my whole life for a while and I'm absolutely crushed.
I don't have any dating experience.
I feel like I'll be alone for a long time and I'm so sad.
Any advice?
(25:46):
Dude, there's a lot here.
I would just like to say if this guy is listening to raise your right hand and slap yourself
across the face, get a grip brother.
Dude, I'm thinking if this girl's beautiful, flirty, gorgeous, and dedicated to helping
others, I might be in love too.
(26:13):
I can't wait for the test.
Please cut that part out.
Cut that, cut that man.
Dude, weighing a drunk kiss or conversation is like weighing me after an all you can eat
buffet.
Dude, straight up it's fake and doesn't count.
What the hell man?
You can't be sitting there.
Way be like, oh, we had a drunk kiss, drunk conversation.
(26:35):
Dude, the type of people I kissed and had drunk conversations with drunk, they never
existed.
They flew out of my brain the second I got sober.
You can't be weighing that.
I think you're putting way too much thought into this girl.
I think you're romanticizing the idea about her.
She's just a normal freaking person, dude.
It's not worth it.
(26:56):
She's five years older than you and calls you her little brother.
That also makes the whole hooking up thing a little weird that you were kissing.
But that's beside the point.
Did she kiss her little brother?
What the hell?
What the hell?
Yeah, no, no, no.
Get out of that.
Get out of that.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, yeah, buddy.
You are down tremendously.
(27:18):
The way this started off, she's beautiful.
She's flirty.
She's extremely generous.
This dude sounds like he's a poet.
He sounds like he's a simp.
If I'm being honest here.
Yeah, like drunk convos.
That's a moment.
You can enjoy those in the moment.
Even if you get a little kiss out of it.
(27:38):
There you go.
You won the moment.
You're about all you get.
That's everything there is there.
I mean, some people accidentally get pregnant and they get a child out of it, but not you,
buddy.
It's not happening.
But in reality, what are you doing?
You're just kind of hanging around waiting for her to change your mind.
(27:59):
She's bad and clear.
Also, she's in a relationship.
Waiting for somebody who's actively in a relationship is crazy.
It says she's actively dating.
Does that mean dating one person?
I think she means actively dating around.
It could mean that.
It could mean that.
I think I was taking this.
Even so.
Look, if she's actively dating, then she's going on dates with other people.
(28:28):
You're already there.
She knows.
I mean, it's obvious to her.
She's got you in the bag and she doesn't want you.
That's it.
It sucks.
It's going to hurt.
Just move on.
I mean, it seems like you might not be able to be friends with her, which is sad, but
that might just be how it is for you.
(28:49):
You might just not be able to be friends with this person if you can't handle that.
Let's not put that on her.
Let's put that on you.
It's you who can't handle that.
Also a little interesting, they said that the fight was because they were arguing about
splitting expenses.
(29:10):
Were you paying for all her stuff?
Splitting expenses on... It shouldn't even be a conversation.
If you're going on a vacation with someone you're not dating, there's not even a conversation.
You're splitting expenses.
Is that not just like, it'd be like Venmo me, Venmo you.
It doesn't feel like... It's only a problem if the precedent was set before that you weren't
(29:31):
splitting it.
I think you might be right.
I think she's been lying some stuff.
I think he's been-
Wow.
Yeah.
No, no.
You got to get out of there.
Buddy, get out of there.
You shouldn't go on a month long vacation with this person, at least right now.
(29:51):
Yeah.
I think we nailed that.
It should be all fixed.
You got the next one?
Yeah, let's do it.
Most likely to stay a virgin forever.
I'm 17 and in high school.
At my school, we like to have an award thing at the end of the year, like most artistic,
best athlete, et cetera.
We didn't get to have one last year, so we had one two weeks ago.
(30:14):
I usually never get nominated for anything, but since it was my birthday, I had to go
on stage as the birthday boy, which was really stressful.
Yesterday, my friend found on our school Facebook group, which I was never invited to, that
they had awards that were mean on the Facebook thing.
I don't know why they're acting like they don't know what Facebook is, but Facebook
(30:37):
thing.
Yep.
And I was voted most likely to stay a virgin forever.
And it really gutted me.
I'm gay and the only experience I have is with a guy I had a crush on forever and he
just used me to have fun, but it didn't go well.
What should I do?
The gay thing threw a wrench in there.
I'll be honest, I didn't expect it to end with I'm gay.
(30:59):
But the fact you are gay means you could probably, if you just leaned into the sexuality thing,
I feel like gay guys move very quick.
If you just don't want to be a virgin, if that's the goal, dude, I don't think it.
I'll be honest.
I think you're going to have the easiest time in the world.
I don't know.
(31:21):
Maybe I'm reading into this wrong, but I feel like I would just lean into letting everyone
know that you're gay.
And I bet the gay guys, you're probably attractive.
The gay guys will probably come out of the woodwork trying to get a little piece of that
ass.
That's what I'm saying.
So I think it really matters if you're out of the closet or not.
Yeah.
Because I imagine you're out of the closet, but maybe you're not for whatever reason.
(31:48):
If you're not, then you just really shouldn't think much about it because these people see
that you have very little action with women and they just don't know you're not playing
that game.
So I wouldn't take that too personally.
But yeah, I knew a gay dude in college.
(32:10):
I know a lot of gay people.
It sounds like you only knew this one gay dude from college.
Like one time I met a gay guy.
This one time.
One gay guy.
And he was all over me.
No.
One of my friends in college, he was gay and I think, I don't know how out he was before
(32:30):
coming to school, but after about a year being in school, he was very, very out.
And so I met him freshman year and then we'd go home for the summer.
We'd come back and we're kind of catching up in the fall of the next year.
We were on a long drive together, him and a few people.
And he talks about like he spent the whole year in Cape Town, not Cape Town, Provincetown,
(32:57):
which is this like town in Cape Cod that's known for like being a gay hotspot.
And he was like, oh, I spent it up there.
And he just kind of rambled off how he went from losing his virginity in the beginning
of the summer to like hooked up with like 10 dudes, like the entire age spectrum.
(33:19):
And he was like, yeah, that's just how it is.
And so I feel like I'd vote you least likely to be a virgin forever since you're gay.
So I have a story for you.
Back in high school, I remember me and a friend of mine, we would always joke that we were
(33:40):
dating.
I don't know.
I was like a sophomore in high school.
We were just like, I don't know, we would like have our arms around each other and just
be like, we're a couple of dudes.
I don't even talk to him anymore.
And sounds like a wimp South.
And a guy in my school actually thought I was gay, like joking with my buddy about it.
(34:01):
And he ended up hitting me up when he goes, dude, you want to hang out sometime?
I was like, yeah, man, like, I don't care.
We can hang out sometime.
He goes, yeah, like I could go down on you.
And I was like, hold up.
I was like, what?
I was like, hold up, hold your horses.
I was like, what do you mean?
He's like, well, aren't you gay?
(34:21):
I was like, no, no, like one, I'm flattered.
I am beyond flattered.
Of course, naturally.
I was like, I'm honored.
I'm honored.
Thank you.
But no, and I had to let him down gently, but I was like, oh, wow.
I was kind of threw me off to be getting that text.
And I was like, you know, I think I was like probably like 15 and not like super sexualized,
(34:43):
just, you know, some freaking young 15 year old.
I was like, what the hell is this?
But flattered, flattered.
Nevertheless, dude, I feel like you'd be a good gay.
I feel like, oh, I feel like you'd be, I don't know.
I don't know the demographic listener we have, but young gays in the comments would know
(35:04):
would be a good guy.
I feel like are we insulting people right now?
We're getting canceled episode two.
No, no.
No, we're fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let me know if I'd be a good gay.
All right.
Let's get to the next question.
All right.
(35:25):
Next question.
Amazon accidentally sent me an Apple watch.
I think the subject kind of says it all.
It gives away there.
Kind of, you know, they kind of led with the hook.
Hi, Amazon sent me an Apple watch that I didn't order.
Do I contact them or do I sell it to the pawn shop?
(35:45):
As I said, there was a brand new Apple watch in a package I had delivered.
It's I had delivered.
It sounds like you meant for it to be delivered.
Whatever.
It's a $300 watch.
I wasn't charged for it.
It is clearly a slip up, but what would you do?
I would keep that watch.
100%.
(36:05):
If this was like from like a small mom and pop tech store, I'd give the watch back.
You know, I've worked at some of those kind of establishments.
I've made mistakes and I've been appreciative of when people don't take advantage of me.
It's Amazon.
I think they probably lose $300 on accident and just write it off.
(36:30):
I my I have a slightly different recommendation.
I'm recommending you get that Apple watch.
You rip that sucker open, damage the box, and then send them a picture of it and be
like, man, I got an Apple watch that I didn't expect.
And when they see the damaged box, they're just gonna be like, keep it or donate it and
forget about you entirely.
(36:52):
So that's what I would do.
I would damage the hell out of the box and be like, I'll send it back.
And they're gonna be like, we don't want that.
It'll end up in a return palette to some random YouTuber if they do take it back and they don't
want to ship more stuff to those YouTubers opening those damn return pallets.
Dude, I'm telling you, one day I'm going to be one of those guys.
One day you and me podcast episode 30 to 30.
(37:17):
We're ripping open your turn.
I like the long pause into two because I thought 30 might be an anniversary episode where we're
talking a bit a little bit.
It's way too soon.
30 is way too soon.
Well, 32.
That's gonna buy us some time.
We're ripping open a return palette on this podcast.
(37:38):
Subscribe so you don't miss that.
In the office.
In the office, which we will definitely have by then and will be paid for by our sponsors.
Yeah.
Now are those hard gambling sponsors?
Maybe.
A crypto coin or two?
Maybe.
The year in turn coin.
Oopsie.
(37:59):
Did we do a rug pull?
Oopsie poopsies.
I don't know.
Rug pull.
It wasn't the insiders.
It had to have been sharks.
It was Jamie.
It was Jamie on his other account.
His ties all cashmere.
I don't know if they make silk.
(38:19):
I don't know if they make ties out of silk.
Don't ask me.
Today I just got the polo on.
Does that work from home?
Work from home.
All right.
Yeah.
You can't just put it in the box or just you couldn't even just pretend like you never
got it.
They're not going to find you.
They're not going to reach out to you.
They're not going to charge you for the watch.
You're fine.
Yeah.
All right.
Our next question.
(38:40):
I have asked burgers and sometimes I can't tell if I'm being strange.
Is this a weird Christmas gift to give to somebody?
I told my roommate that I got my older brother a meteorite for Christmas.
He started laughing and said it was really random slash strange to get a meteorite for
someone.
I asked if he thought it was a bad gift and he said no, but he was still laughing.
I thought it was nice.
(39:00):
Is it weird?
I don't think it's weird.
I think it's kind of sick.
I think getting someone a meteorite, the whole goal of holidays, because I think you kind
of get to that age where everything you want, everything you want, you just buy for yourself.
I think this is one of those items you don't know you want, you get and you're like, that's
kind of dope.
Short of it being a massive boulder, which I doubt, it's probably just a little cool
(39:22):
little trinket, goes hard, good conversation piece, put it on the shelf.
I think it's a great gift and I think you give him that meteorite and you should be
proud of such a cool idea.
I think it's great.
You're saying roommates, I'm assuming they're in college, so it's like you don't have a
lot of cash.
Look, a $20 gift card for gas or for Starbucks, it's nice, but a meteorite, you could give
(39:52):
him $1,000.
He was never buying the meteorite.
Maybe he's a big meteorite guy.
Also, what if they found the meteorite?
They just found this in the yard, they're like, Tim's going to love this.
They found a massive hole in their backyard about the size of a small swimming pool with
a tiny rock in the middle.
(40:15):
Dude burnt his hands grabbing this meteorite for his brother.
Dude has no hands anymore, but he got himself a meteorite.
Huge hole in the backyard though, got to fill that up.
That's a great gift.
It's weird, your roommates write that it's weird and random, but it's a great gift.
I wonder if the brother's into rocks or something.
(40:39):
Maybe there was more thought that went into it, but if there wasn't, still a dope gift.
Yeah.
You used to have a little, I don't think it was a meteorite, it was a shiny rock in your
desk.
Got one right here.
I got two of them, my fiance is very into astrology and crystals.
She put crystals all over my office against my recommendation.
(41:03):
Dude, we've spent a lot of time discussing how to decorate this house.
I think I've lost every fight I've tried to start.
I'm like, oh, I'd really like this in the living room.
She's like, we're putting a wood table.
I'm like, okay.
I'd really like this type of rug, I want one with moths.
(41:23):
We got one with moths.
I have not won any of those fights, but in my office, actually, you know what?
I lost this fight too.
In my office, I was like, nothing goes in my office.
I got two crystals over here.
I got a couple of her little knickknacks on a shelf over there.
I win in other places, but decorating the house is not that place.
(41:47):
You want the LED beer girl sign hanging up in the background.
I got a big Budweiser sign out in the car and she's like, that ain't entering this
house.
That ain't going next to my crystal show on the wall, next to my pentagram that I have
hung up.
We have sticks.
I'm like, okay, honey.
(42:07):
What's under the carpet?
It's just the little pentagram.
It is a carved pentagram into our laminate wood floors.
That's what it is.
Oh man, this one's a read.
Stupid, but I have a problem with the seagull at work.
I'm a line cook and I go smoke by the dumpster a few times a day.
(42:30):
We get seagulls in our parking lot.
It's a well-known restaurant.
It's busy and tourists are sloppy with their fries.
I also suspect the tourists are feeding the seagulls because it was cute, even though
it is so against the rules.
Regardless, the gulls do not fear man or God.
They are used to people.
(42:52):
A few weeks back, one of the gulls swooped down and took the cig out of my mouth.
I thought it was because he thought it was a friend try.
I giggled and went on about my day.
However, it's happened a few times since.
I know it's the same guy because he has a big dark spot on his chest.
I call him pestilence.
I'm concerned he is now addicted to nicotine.
(43:13):
He's by the dumpster on every one of my work breaks every single day.
This is obviously not good for him.
And I'm getting mad about him bumming off me because smoking is expensive.
Do I try and quit smoking?
I'll make noise and try to appear large to scare him off, but pestilence is hip to my
tricks.
(43:34):
We have cut down on tourists feeding the gulls.
What do I do?
Are there sonar weapons such as dog whistle type things that I can deploy to fight the
gulls?
I feel like there's at least one question in the episode we get that's like the best
(43:55):
question I've ever heard.
This is it.
I know this is episode two.
This is a question of the year candidate.
Noah and I both live on the East Coast, so I think we both can kind of agree with seagulls.
Do not fear man.
I think they might be God.
They don't fear anything.
(44:18):
And so I'm so unsurprised that they swooped down and took a cigarette.
And I'm even less surprised that this is now a thing.
I mean, it's burning a hole in the seagull.
Dude, I you don't know how many times I've gone to the beach and I've seen a little kid
crying because a seagull freaking, you know, throat goaded their whole hot dog in one bite.
(44:43):
Like we're not we're not talking about it chewing.
It just tilted its head back and took that thing.
And man, I get it.
I'm surprised it does it to a cigarette.
But am I really?
It's yeah, this is this is seagull nature.
This is I think it's in their blood.
I really do. But I like this guy trying to say it's not good for the seagull.
(45:07):
But he is like trying to make the health thing.
Yeah, it's not good for the seagull.
Yeah, it's not good for you either.
You're still out there ripping them.
It's not good for the seagull.
But do we do you know any of sonar weapons that we could use against it to maybe blow
it up about a million miles away?
You know, a heat gun that could take that thing out of the sky like, OK, yeah, I need
(45:28):
a grenade launcher so I can hit a seagull.
Yeah, like he's like the cigarettes must be bad.
But what about sonar weapons?
What about what if we broke the Geneva Convention on the seagull?
Yeah. What if did I?
I used to work at a restaurant that was like right on the water.
And it was like outrageous.
(45:51):
And the seagulls like were a cult.
They were weird men like they would they would come after you.
I was like like bringing food to a table once that was sitting outside and the seagull like
snoops like dove in and took the coleslaw off my like like shoulder thing.
It was the whole.
Laws.
(46:11):
We look at the small the small out of everything.
It was so honestly, the table must have been happy that they didn't get the slaw.
Nobody ever eats the slaw.
I know.
Oh, I mean, like I brought the food to the table and they're like, oh, there's no slaw.
I'm like, yeah, give me a second.
I'll bring that right back.
(46:31):
I thought they wouldn't.
I was just like, they're not going to ask for this law, but they asked for the slaw.
Wow.
Yeah.
But the point of that being the seagulls were really weird and it was kind of like a movie
the whole summer.
And that kind of like the birds.
Alfred Hitchcock, I think the birds.
No, no, no.
OK.
(46:52):
OK.
Continue your story.
Long story short, long story short, the seagulls committed a mutiny against one of the other
seagulls right around the end of the summer.
And he was just dead wash up on the shore and the seats were right there.
So we were like, someone's got to get rid of this dead seagull.
Unfortunately, they didn't choose me.
(47:13):
I was like 15 at the time and I was so the guy they should have chose.
But unsurprising to anybody who works in a restaurant, they chose the busboy who did
it with no problems.
Didn't even flinch.
So what would you recommend for this guy and his fight against pestilence over here?
(47:34):
Talk to the busboy.
I think he talked to the busboy.
They are a different breed.
They don't have a sonar weapon, but they probably have like a slingshot with like a Roman candle
or something.
They can take it out.
I would.
I ditch the cigarettes personally, you know, maybe for your own health reason.
(47:56):
But you know what the ladies love?
The ladies love a man who hits a zinni, who hits an old, you know, who hits who hits a
little buzz bag, little upper decky, little Zimbabwe, little little Zinnifer, Aniston,
if you may.
Come on, you gotta you gotta just switch to the zinns.
Really?
It's better for your health.
And people love a guy who just, you know, you break out the zinni and tap the top of
(48:21):
the top, tap the top of the container as if it's dip.
It ain't.
But you gotta switch over to zinns, man.
It's just it's probably better for you.
Probably.
I don't know.
People I feel like there's always this I want to believe it's better.
And I think most people want to believe it's better because what could be worse than cigarettes?
But I feel like you know what happens every time some sort of new thing comes out?
(48:44):
Everyone's like, oh, it's the better way.
And then it's like, oh crap.
You mean everyone's got popcorn lung from hitting the old hit in the old jewel.
Yeah.
In the old jewel.
These people are dropping dead out there like, oh, but I'd like to think zinns might be a
step up.
Who knows?
Yeah, I do like the aspect of getting him hooked.
(49:05):
Or what if you just dial up?
You want to get the seagull hooked?
You're trying to get the seagull to pop a zinny?
I think you're saying give the seagull a zin.
No, no.
That's so much funnier.
Give the seagull zin.
That zigull's freaking beat can't pocket a zin.
(49:27):
I mean, I feel like old pestilence, whatever his name is, could figure out a way.
What if you just buy some cigs for him?
Give the seagull a black and mild.
What the fuck?
Give him a menthol.
Give him a menthol.
That seagull will never smoke again.
(49:48):
He comes back, his wife's disappointed in him.
He comes home smelling like menthol.
This family kicks him out of the nest because he starts stinking.
Oh my God.
So long story short, use zin's optional, share it with the bird.
(50:10):
All right, so we got time for one more.
Let's see.
Should I ask my friend to buy me a new couch after breaking it due to her weight?
Okay, this is going to be a tough one.
My friend came into town to visit for a few days.
She slept on the couch during the duration of her time here.
(50:31):
When she left, I noticed that my couch was sunken in, but went to kind of readjust the
cushions and realized she actually broke the entire board and the fabric even tore where
the wooden piece collapsed.
I texted her and let her know that she broke it and even sent pictures and her response
was she's sad.
I feel bad because I know it wasn't intentional.
(50:53):
However, I paid $1,500 for that couch and I can't just afford to fork out money for
a new one.
Do I ask her to buy me a new couch?
How should I go about this?
Dude, you can't ask your friend to buy you a new couch.
I'll be honest.
It sounds like you bought a lousy couch to start with.
(51:13):
I've been around some big boys sitting on some couches, never seen them break.
You probably bought a bad couch.
I would honestly go down to your local Lowe's, pop over to the wood section, buy yourself
a little two by four.
You could go find one of them little Lowe's people walking around their shirts, ask them
to cut the two by four to the size of the couch.
Freaking nail that sucker back underneath.
(51:35):
Pretend like nothing happened.
Don't make your friend uncomfortable.
I guess it would depend on how close you are to your friend.
If you're really not close at all, you could harass her to pay for it, but I think that's
just going to ruin the relationship.
I would just buy the two by four and fix it yourself.
You know what?
It's not the end of the world.
(51:55):
I feel like I'm very adverse to making people feel uncomfortable.
I wouldn't even have sent you the pictures.
I would have pretended like it never happened.
Did it myself and just moved on.
Right?
Like, yeah, we're in too deep.
That's what you should have done.
Right?
Yeah.
And it's not like, oh, your friend, like hooked up on your couch and that's why it's broken.
Yeah.
Like your friend just slept on the couch you told them to sleep on and it broke.
(52:20):
That's not their fault.
They use the couch for what it's made for.
Yeah.
Like, happy couch.
This was definitely not worth $1,500.
If anything, if this is a recent buy, you should go back to the furniture company and
tell them, hey, my freaking couch broke.
And then maybe they would even replace it.
It just doesn't feel like something you put on the friend.
Yeah.
And it's like, I don't know how much their friend weighs.
(52:40):
I think they said it in the original post, but I don't see it here.
Look, I don't like, let's say it was like your friend weighed 600 pounds, which would
be crazy, but like, let's say your friend weighed 600 pounds.
That's like three just big dudes sitting on it.
Like that's not a not normal amount of weight to go on a couch.
(53:05):
And your friend definitely doesn't weigh 600.
So it's like, you bought a bad couch, dude.
That's on you.
And they're just laying on it.
Once again, like we said, it's not like they were hooking up on the couch, jumping around.
Like they were laying on a couch, which is what the couch is made to do.
You can't, you do not even, if I was ever in the situation, you don't even tell the
(53:25):
friend it happened.
You move on, you fix it yourself, and maybe you bitch out to the company.
If anything, you write a bad review.
I bet the owner of that furniture store replies to your review and says, Hey, let me help
you out there.
And then they send you a little $500 gift card and you move on and you just, just fix
it yourself.
It doesn't feel like something you put on the friend.
(53:46):
Doesn't feel like something I would even tell the friend happened.
She probably knew it happened.
You don't think that couch felt a little different from night one to night two.
I think you just, uh, I mean, I think you bite it.
I think you bite it.
If we're being honest, like it's not like they went to sleep and then woke up.
The couch is broken.
Like they got into bed and it, it probably immediately dropped.
(54:07):
Right.
That's the, I would assume.
I mean, if that couch broke in the middle of the night, awful couch, it's already a
pretty bad couch, but yeah.
How much does a couch cost?
I've never bought.
I bought, I bought cheap couches for my living room and it was like, I want to say about
$1,400 for a love seat and a couch.
(54:29):
This one sounds like they spent 1500 on just the couch.
Don't get me wrong.
My couch is terrible, but it's my first house.
I wasn't going to invest in a good couch, but like, if you wanted a really good couch,
it's probably like three K.
All right.
But 1500 is like, uh, that's a fair priced couch.
It definitely isn't like bottom of the bucket.
Like I got out there, some frat boy couches, but yeah, you know, it's a, it's a normal
(54:51):
couch.
Well, uh, I guess if I ever move out of the office, maybe I'll, I'll look into some couches,
but I guess I have to spend a little more.
Let us know what brands you got so I can avoid that.
Yeah.
We let us know the brand, the store, the model number and we'll, we'll post it in the description
of this video so you guys, cause this was definitely a write in to, uh, professional interns podcast
(55:17):
at gmail.com.
Is that our last question today?
Jamie, thank you.
I think unfortunately it has to be, uh, I think we're, I think we're done out of questions.
We have a bonus question, but it sucks.
So we're going to skip that.
Uh, yeah, we, I, I throw extras on our sheet just in case.
(55:37):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We covered the, we covered the good ones.
If you have a good one that you want to write into, please write into us.
We, uh, the, the, the, the Reddit's running out of them.
Yeah.
I mean, our E, our Gmail is running low on dry dry Gmail be Noah.
It would be professional interns podcast at gmail.com.
(56:00):
Did you say professional interns podcast at gmail.com?
I did say professional interns podcast at gmail.com.
And then, you know, we have other places you can reach out to us.
We have, we have the blue sky.
We have the X, we have the Instagram, we have the Twitter.
Yeah.
Uh, we got socials.
There's links to it.
(56:21):
Uh, you know, go check them out.
Say what's up.
I think that's that.
I think that's all we got.
Right.
Anything you want to plug in any big projects for you besides this?
Uh, well, of course you can go check me out personally at big blue boat gaming on YouTube
and then Noah underscore Corona underscore on all other socials.
Jamie.
(56:42):
Uh, yeah, you can check me out on YouTube.
Probably you already subscribed.
Now, uh, youtube.com, social Jamie Regan, and I should have, uh, I think I'll have a
video going up right around when this goes live.
Maybe awesome should be in a, in a few weeks.
So excited for that.
Dude, I got to stop punching this freaking mic.
(57:05):
I got to stop punching the mic.
All right, fellas.
Thanks so much for listening and we'll catch you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
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